Tag: mental-health

Human Nature

Labor Day Monday, and another day free from the shackles of my day job. I do like my job, I just don’t like getting up in the morning and going in. Yesterday was yet another heat advisory, so all the gays down in the Quarter were all sweaty and probably stripped down to barely decent (which was always my favorite thing about Southern Decadence). W were supposed to have more rain yesterday, too, which never materialized, either. (We’re supposed to get more today, too, but it’s looking pretty sunny out there beyond the windows.) Yesterday was a very lazy day around here. I didn’t have very much energy and ended up not doing much of anything. I didn’t feel good, either, which was part of it. Lethargic and listless and off, is the best way I can put it. I don’t think I slept well after staying up too late watching the LSU game, which I still am in a little bit of disbelief about. I thought we’d win, but I figured it would be more of a game/challenge than that. I did not have 51-10 on my bingo card, either; that’s the kind of outcome you fantasize about beforehand, only to shake your head and laugh a little bit. (I also see this morning that ESPN has moved LSU up in their rankings to Number 2–a bit of an overreaction, since we have no idea whether Clemson will be 11-1 or 1-11 or somewhere in between yet.)

Yesterday was very lazy around here again, since I didn’t feel good. (I feel much better this morning, honestly, like night and day.) I literally just sat in my easy chair and let Youtube scroll through videos all day while I played on my laptop all day. I can’t even remember anything that I watched! Paul stayed upstairs and worked all afternoon, and didn’t come down to the early evening. I did watch some of the USOpen for a while, but wasn’t really getting into it. But we did watch two episodes of Lanterns, which is really good. Kyle Chandler is great as Hal Jordan, and Aaron Pierre is perfect as John Stewart. I had seen a lot of people on-line upset about Episode 3 being “woke”–as if having a Black Green Lantern wasn’t already woke, and the character has been around for decades, making him vitally important in the history of comics and super-heroes. Get over yourselves, losers. Lanterns is one of the best super-hero shows I’ve seen; hopefully they will continue at this high level. I always liked Green Lantern, becoming more familiar with him through the Green Arrow/Green Lantern team comics, and hated that movie they made with Ryan Reynolds, who was wrong for the part of Hal Jordan, and the script was pretty terrible, too.

As for today, I can either be productive or be lazy or some combination of the two. I am not planning on anything, but I am just going to let the day develop as it usually does, organically, without trying to force anything. Next weekend will be the Saints season opener, so we’ll be watching that and the USOpen finals next Sunday–oh, wait, today isn’t Sunday, is it? I am a little discombobulated, obviously, by this holiday weekend and being so under the weather yesterday. I do feel more rested today than I did yesterday morning, which is very lovely and nice, and maybe–just maybe–my mind will be able to focus enough to read and maybe even do some writing. I know, enough crazy talk.

So, now I am going to get another cup of coffee, make some breakfast, get cleaned up and moving on the day. Hope you have a lovely holiday, Constant Reader, and I will be back here in the morning again before I head into the office. See you then!

Waiting

Guten morgen, Samstag! Hope you’re doing well, Constant Reader, on this first day of the holiday weekend. Today is also the first Saturday of college football, with games on all day. I don’t care about most of them, honestly, but will probably watch Baylor-Auburn this afternoon and of course, LSU-Clemson tonight. I am sure I am going to hear endless commentary on Coach Kiffin and these lawsuits, which is not going to be fun to listen to, especially since there are very few “analysts” on ESPN whose opinions I respect or take seriously. They’re paid to talk, period, and most of the time during games they are just bullshitting with each other about nothing I want to know anything about.

Yesterday was rather chill and lovely, the kind of Friday I truly enjoy. It started off differently–me having to get labs drawn and then go to the office for a meeting, after which I ran errands. I didn’t have nearly enough coffee, and by the time I was finally home and working it was nearly noon, which is too late for me to have more. I also didn’t have lunch until later, but managed to get a nice flow going, with chores and work and so I got more done than I would have thought, and was feeling pretty good and rested most of the day. We watched Venus and Serena play doubles at the US Open, which took care of most of the night. I made Swedish meatballs last night–they were very tasty–but as a result have a messy kitchen this morning, which I’ll have to do something about. But I feel very rested this morning, which is terrific, and I have until 2:30 to do things around here before the Auburn-Baylor game. I need to order some things for delivery, too. I’ll cook out around five-ish for our “tailgate” like I always do, and since there’s football to be watched (reading while the afternoon game is on), I won’t get any writing done. I’ll clean and organize and read while the games are on, and this morning I need to order groceries for delivery. The Saints don’t play until next Sunday, so I imagine we’ll have the US Open on all day Sunday. And of course, there’s also Monday, and a short work week this week.

But it’s somehow September already, with a few more months to go before 2027 rolls around. We also have the midterm election insanity to get through, too. Heavy sigh. I am not optimistic, and I certainly don’t trust polls, and I absolutely do not trust the Heritage Foundation or the Federalist Society, let alone the billionaires and Elon. (And no, I will never forgive any of the people who voted for this. Ever. No sympathy or charity from me, thank you very much, and none of you are taking any responsibility. You absolutely voted for this; if you didn’t see it as clearly as the rest of us, that isn’t our fault. Own up to your bigotry and racism for once in your miserable existences, do self reflection, and maybe–just maybe–I’ll try to forget what fucking ignorant hateful trash you are. Someday, maybe, but certainly not any time soon.)

Meh, this may turn out to be a recharge day and you know, that’s okay, too. I just ordered the groceries to be delivered and am about to get a second cup of coffee (or “joe,” if you want to be hard-boiled about it) and maybe put some bread in the toaster. I also need to wash my face again, and may as well get cleaned up once I finish breakfast and post this. (The play-by-play is fascinating, isn’t it?) Sparky let me sleep past seven this morning, and was lying against me when I woke up like the sweet boy he is. I don’t want to clean up this kitchen, but I can’t really do anything in here until I do. Maybe the toast and second cup will finish the job of waking me up and making me lively. It’s not that I don’t have energy this morning, I’m just not having a lot of luck summoning it up at the moment, hee hee. (This, by the way, is why I call myself lazy–instead of getting to work I just laze around instead of doing anything productive and make excuses for it. (I may have the anxiety under control, more or less, now–but my brain still clearly has a lot of issues.)

And on that note, I am going to finish my toast and second cup and am about to head to my easy chair for a few moments, and I’ll probably read for a bit. The groceries will be here between 12 and 2, and I can get a lot done before then, methinks. Or not. We’ll see. Have a lovely Saturday, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back again in the morning.

It’s amazing how many muscle groups he had to engage to take that shirt off, isn’t it?

Bad Girl

Friday, Friday, gotta get down on Friday!

I am up early to get blood drawn before I head into the office for the meeting, after which I am running some errands before coming home to do more work. Not sure when I am going to be able to finish and post this, but that’s just part of the thrill-ride that is my life! We’re also supposed to have rain off and on all day, with thunderstorms this evening. YIKES! But I will be safely home well before that, and the low possibility of street flooding. Never a dull moment in New Orleans!

Yesterday was fine. I got a little tired yesterday afternoon, but it was overall a pretty good day for me at the office. It wasn’t busy in the clinic so I was able to get a lot of other odds and ends taken care of, which was kind of nice. I finished paying my bills–turns out I had made a mistake last month; I thought I hadn’t paid the phone bill at the beginning of the month so went ahead and paid it again mid-month, which was actually my September payment. So, it’s not due again until October. Yay for me making a good mistake? I’ll take it–in this economy? You bet your ass I will. Traffic was heavy for some reason on the way home, but I did make it home and into the house to a needy kitty, whom I gave some attention to, before going into the living room and sinking into my chair. I caught up on the news, caught an episode of The Burbs, and when Paul got home, we watched this week’s Reacher and The Shards. At this point, The Shards is a gloriously beautiful train wreck, finding new rails to run off in every episode.

Okay, I am back at home and taking a lunch break. I got my errands taken care of on the way home, got the laundry started, and then dove headfirst into day job duties. I just came up for air, hungry, and remembered I hadn’t finished this, either. So hopefully I’ll be able to get this finished and posted before I have to go back to work. I do love working at home. And then…well, it’s a holiday weekend, isn’t it? I’ve kind of decided to set the book I’m reading aside and move on to something else, circling back to it again next month for Halloween Horror Month–which is also going to include watching some films I’ve not seen before; starting a slow rewatch of Dark Shadows; a revisit of The Dead Zone; and some horror short stories I am looking forward to digging into. This weekend, as I believe I have already mentioned several times, is LSU’s first game of the season, and yes, I am vaguely aware of the current lawsuits and controversies, and yes, am currently frowning in concern and disapproval, but I said when they started paying college players things like this–legal issues and eligibility questions. ow are college players not professionals already? That’s why I am not commenting on this. I don’t know enough about it to think about it logically, but my emotional knee-jerk reaction is to once again reiterate that I always said that money would eventually make college football unrecognizable to people of a certain age. Our governor seems determined to strip LSU of all academic credibility, they enrolled a rapist this semester, and of course, there was that horrifically racist video of the girls dragging a black baby doll with a rope through campus. LSU is slowly turning into a life-support apparatus for its athletics.

Sigh. I’m beginning to understand why older people are nostalgic for the past–but that feeling fades very quickly.

And on that note, I am going to bring this to a close as I need to head back into the spice mines. Sorry to be so brief, but I knew it wasn’t going to be easy to get much of an entry done today; my apologies. I’ll try to make it up to you tomorrow, okay? Till then!

Big Sur in California is one of the most beautiful places in the world. The drive on Highway 1 is spectacular–and terrifying.

Thief of Hearts

Wednesday already? Good morning!

I slept well again last night, and feel pretty good thus far. The bed was so comfortable last night and this morning! I did wake up once, but was able to go back to sleep. Friday I have a department meeting at the office and I need to get blood drawn that morning–fasting labs, too–but can come back home after the meeting. It’s also a three-day weekend, and LSU’s first game (in case you’ve not been paying attention) is also Saturday night. It’s also Southern Decadence, which used to be one of my favorite weekends of the year. No, this year we won’t be partying all weekend like the olden days. They are lovely memories, but nothing I really wish to revisit. I guess I really am a senior citizen, aren’t I?

Nothing wrong with that, either.

It’s going to be miserably hot today, too. There’s a chance we’ll get a cooling rain this afternoon, but…New Orleans summer weather forecasts are notably unreliable (from late May to mid-October: hot, humid, chance of rain) so we’ll see. I am going to come straight home from work tonight–last night I had an errand to run–and did quite a bit once I did get home. I cleaned up the kitchen, did a load of dishes, and picked up some. My mind was all over the place last night, so once I was done with my chores I caught up on the news. For some reason we didn’t have a lot of juice on our Internet last night, so I couldn’t watch another episode of The Burbs, so started watching old LSU football highlights (I have told you, I am a big college football fan!) to get ready for this weekend. I can’t believe football season is here again already….but I’m glad. And the US Open! Woo-hoo! Although outside of LSU, the rest of the games seem like they’d be boring. Ah, well, I can have the US Open on for background noise while I clean or write. And I can cook out before the game! Woo-hoo!

I did work on some newsletters yesterday, too. I didn’t get one out over the weekend, which I had intended to, but got a bad case of the tireds/lazies/mind scatters. I feel very good this morning though–better than the last two for sure–which is a good thing. I’m going to try to finish one today–and the other for this Saturday (and the first day of LSU football) is already finished. I also need to get back to work on the book; I feel like my brain is capable of focusing today so hopefully I’ll have a good day. We shall see how it goes, won’t we?

I am looking forward to the long weekend, not going to even try to pretend otherwise. Old habits die hard, I suppose. I will always complain about having to work because my preference is always to do absolutely nothing and not give a shit about anything. (It also didn’t help being told regularly that I was lazy when I was growing up. What can I say? It stuck because I knew it was true.) Being around people doesn’t make me anxious and stressed the way it used to–thank heaven for better living through chemistry–but it was a serious issue before. I need to finish my newsletter about anxiety, don’t I, and being able to look back at it from the other side is actually very lovely. I’m sure it has helped me beat insomnia (although again, chemistry), and the anxiety/stress no longer impacts my behavior, which is nice. People still frustrate me, but I don’t wish them dead anymore when they do. After all, they’re clearly miserable so I now wish them a long life with their misery…and then they go to Hell.

It all depends on point of view and context, doesn’t it?

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines for the day. Hope you have a marvelous day, Constant Reader, and never fear: I will be back tomorrow bright and early.

Lightning on Royal Street, by Marco Rasi. This is the birthplace of Alice Heine, who also grew up there. Alice was the first American born princess of Monaco.

Rain

I woke up to rain this morning, which is always nice. I slept pretty well last night, but woke up at four. I didn’t get up, of course–I was able to go in and out of sleep for the next two hours first. It won’t last all day, more’s the pity. But I feel rested this morning, which is nice. I didn’t get as much done this weekend as I would have liked, but I can live with it, you know? It’s kind of lovely having no pressure on me other than the kind I put on myself, but…I also don’t put very much pressure on myself anymore, either, so…I may be taking this self-care too far, but it’s kind of nice to just go to work and come home and live like non-writers do for a change. I do have to run errands tonight, as something is being delivered today–I always order a new pair of moccasins/house shoes before football season, and I always get the tan ones with LSU in purple on the toes. I probably should change them out more than once a year, but oh, well.

I also got a new pair of shoes over the weekend–my special, feet-and-ankles-are-fucked-up HOKA shoes, and I love them already. Hopefully this will clear up some of the ache I’ve been feeling in my hips a little over this past week. The joys of getting older, seriously; aches and pains and everything else you can imagine–and complaining about them all too! But I don’t ache all the time and it generally doesn’t affect my moods, either–but I am a lot less accommodating than I used to be, too. I don’t make things harder for myself for someone else anymore. I probably should have allowed more ego to develop when I started publishing, but having had plenty of experience dealing with arrogant asshole authors before joining their ranks that I tried not to be like any of those assholes. I did have a chip on my shoulder back then because people tended not to take me seriously–and there were a lot of people who didn’t and were absolute shits to me. And yes, I am still carrying the grudge and always will. My grudges are going with me to the grave.

Don’t want me to think you’re an asshole for the rest of your life? Don’t be one.

I watched more of The Burbs yesterday, which I am really enjoying. I was only going to watch one episode before doing some chores or writing, and I got sucked in and next thing I knew I’d watched three and Paul was up. Once he was up any productivity for the day was not going to happen; my favorite thing to do is hang out in the living room watching television with him. After he got up, we finished off Outer Banks and are now caught up on The Shards. I was a bit sorry to see the end of Outer Banks, after five seasons of nonsensical plots and jumping the shark and just in general silliness…so we are now supposed to believe they are rich, own the island, and lived calmly and peacefully ever after. Why not? (As I said to Paul, the money stuck this time because JJ is dead and can’t fuck it all up for everyone, like he did every single other time.) It probably did run too long–it could have been wrapped up after the first or second season, but it was a big hit for Netflix and making them lots of money, I guess. I would have absolutely loved this show when I was a teen or in my twenties, with no quibbles at all, and can see why it was popular. Crazy adventures with our heroes! (My favorite was how they flew from the US to Uzbekistan without passports, crossing restricted airspace or identifying themselves to ATC, and didn’t need to refuel on the way–and then came back the same way. LOL.

There’s a system off the coast that may develop into something. It looks like it will be heading for the Louisiana/Texas border; we’ll be east of it so the wet side, I think? It probably won’t make it to hurricane levels, but a storm or depression (outside shot at Category One) can still be plenty nasty and bring lots of rain to New Orleans.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines for the day. Have a lovely Monday, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back in the morning.

The Chauvin, Louisiana Sculpture Garden, in Terrebonne Parish

Where Life Begins

Sunday morning in the Lost Apartment and so far, so good. I got up to feed Sparky and went back to bed for another few hours and was even reluctant to finally get up when I did at last. But my coffee is good, my coffee cake was even better, and I do feel good this morning. I did nothing of consequence yesterday, other than having some things delivered and picking up a little bit. I didn’t engage my mind much with anything–didn’t read, didn’t write much, didn’t do anything but let myself have a recharging day, and it seems to have worked. I actually wrote some stories in my head while I was sleeping, or in that half-sleep thing, which is incredibly cool. I need to be more productive today–at least a little bit. I did page through Valley of the Dolls and Peyton Place, reading random sections while thinking about the books themselves and their writers.

Hopefully, when I get around to writing those essays, they will be good.

I also spent time reconnecting to Dolly tributes and video compilations. I’m very glad they are renaming the Nashville airport for her. What a legacy to leave behind, right? So many incredible stories of kindness and charity and compassion, and none of it performative–as most of it was done quietly and without fuss. She loved the queer community when it was dangerous for someone with her fan base, her long time driver/assistant was a trans man, and she loved and embraced drag queens.

From now on, all I am going to say to people that hate drag queens is “Oh, wild, so you hated Dolly Parton? What a weird thing to admit.”

It’s kind of wild, but I had thought about writing a Scotty book about the murder of a Milo-type a while ago but chose a different story at the time; I don’t remember which it was; but it was after he did the whole “child rape can be consensual and good” thing–but I am sure a strike against it was how deeply unpleasant he is and how much I would hate learning more so I could credibly create a character from that foundation. Now, I am thinking about it again for this Scotty I am building, and it could easily be shoe-horned in. Hmmm, this could really be fun.

The goings-on over at HWA are troubling, to say the least. Much as I love horror, I’ve tended to keep that community at arms’ length…well, because there is always a lot of drama going on in that community. I’ve personally never had a problem with HWA; all of my dealings with them have been incredibly pleasant, and I even put on an event for them. I’ve seen a lot of drama over the years on social media and, choose to stay out of it. I’ll see posts here and there, but don’t look into it very deeply with a not my circus not my monkeys mentality. I’ve served on boards and even run them in a leadership position. I’ve spent more time in my life at board meetings than I would have liked or preferred, retrospectively. I don’t criticize organizations publicly, or their boards, for that matter. Even when I disagree with a policy or a statement or anything for that matter, I try to keep my mouth shut because the work is hard and any system (waves around at the world in general) can be hijacked and suffer institutional damage at the hands of a bad actor, or good intentions not landing right with the community. Unless I am going to get involved to clean up the mess, I am not going to criticize. I am not saying others can’t, of course–I wouldn’t know any of this if people didn’t debate these issues publicly, for example, and some of these controversies are general enough to be of interest and concern to all authors (AI issues, for example). I only speak for myself, I want to make that abundantly clear; I don’t even claim to speak for authors that I am friends with and talk to regularly. I think it’s a shame, though, but there seem to be a lot of factions and not a little bit of hypocrisy in the horror writing community. It’s a shame, because it’s a marvelous genre and there are any number of talented and lovely writers within it. I don’t like watching train wrecks, but always seem to get sucked into watching them–which is something I need to work on.

Speaking of horror, we watched Obsession last night, which was very unsettling and very well done. It wasn’t terrifying or jump scary; it was just very disturbing and creepy but impossible to look away from. It’s another variation on the be careful what you wish for trope, but the acting is phenomenal and it’s brutal and horrific–but I also can’t help thinking, it would be nice to see this from the woman’s perspective. Imagine the horror of being obsessively in love with someone while knowing you really aren’t but you can’t control yourself. Now that would be terrifying.

And now, I am going to get something more solid to eat than a slice of coffee cake, another cup of coffee, and then I am heading into the spice mines. Have a marvelous day, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back tomorrow morning.

Screenshot

Keep It Together

Saturday!

His Majesty let me sleep late this morning–I did wake up at six and went back to sleep after a glance at the clock–and I feel rested and good. Yesterday was a surprisingly good day, all things considered. I got my work done, got the chores done, we went to Costco, and last night we watched the newest episodes of The Shards and Reacher. I didn’t get as much done as I would have liked; the dishwasher needs to be unloaded and the counters are a mess, too. I have to order some things for delivery this morning, and then I’ll be all set for the weekend. My current plan is to not leave the apartment except to either take out trash (there is quite a bit of it), or to cook out. Next weekend LSU has its first game and it’s Labor Day weekend and it’s Southern Decadence, but this delicate magnolia flower actually can’t really handle standing around in oppressive heat anymore. I didn’t do any reading or writing yesterday, so hope to get to some of that today while I clean up around here and get the house under control. Ambitiously, I want to finish this chapter and a short story draft I’ve been working on, but we’ll see how everything goes. I also want to get out another newsletter this weekend, so I need to decide which draft I am going to finish.

But I do feel pretty good this morning, which is a very lovely sign that the day might be a good one.

Honestly, I’ve been in a bit of a funk this week. I thought it was because of the one-two punch of Dolly Parton and Tim Curry dying, which definitely played a part in it, but it’s also the weekend of the Katrina anniversary, which has always been an subconscious downer and mood-suppressor for me. It’s why I was so low-energy this week and unfocused. (I did enjoy seeing Carrie Underwood getting dragged for the filth she is on Threads and her post about Dolly. She really thought we’d forget her bending the knee for the tangelo toddler; she thought fucking wrong. I also laughed at loud at some stupid show business “journalism” website posting that Kristen Chenowith play Dolly in a bio-pic–the nicest response I saw was “do you want people to actually watch it?”)

This has been rather an interesting week, has it not, for stupidity and bigotries? Good Good now is claiming Callaway set them up to take a hit while buying their stock back at a much lower price because it dropped dramatically in trading price because of the abuser ad, and threatening to sue the. Oh, cute little stupid white boys–welcome to unregulated capitalism, and for being so fucking stupid you trusted a bigger company as a “partner.” You were of use to them until you weren’t. (I suspected this whole thing was manufactured to drop the stock price; you were the idiotic sexist jerks who gift-wrapped it for them.) But I also think it can easily be proven that people were demanding that Callaway abandon the partnership, too. I also love how the “boys” at Good Good (they aren’t men) feel betrayed and cheated and made the patsy–well, the number one rule of the business world is never trust anyone completely; always keep an eye open because they will screw you at the first possible moment, but it all sounds like Good Good trying to cope and shift blame….typical for white people, especially white men who are used to being catered to on everything. Maybe this lesson can make up for that high school diploma and college education you passed up, Garrett Clark, because you are now toxic and so is your brand…and it was all very public.

Good luck to you getting that stain out. But I’m sure you were smart with your big income and didn’t blow it and safely saved some and made some conservative investments with a low but solid and steady return.

Yeah, right!

Milo Yiannopoulos was arrested by ICE yesterday when he flew into New Orleans for his employer’s concert here last night. Mr. “we need millions and millions deported” is now going to be deported because he turned on his original foul lord and master. This is an excellent example of leopards feasting on his face or FAFO. I hope he enjoyed his stay in whatever detention center ICE has set up here, and Louisiana doesn’t concern itself too much for the health and safety of anyone incarcerated…so either they’re using one of the local places (I’ve crossed my finger for Orleans Parish Prison myself, but I’d prefer to see him picking cotton at Angola.) No, I am not celebrating ICE; I still consider them no better than the Gestapo or the STASI. I am, however, enjoying another far-right piece of shit getting exactly what he wanted for other people. I hope he’s banned from the country. Fuck that ex-gay pedo enabler/excuser, now and forever. His mugshot was terrible, and I love the petty bitchery of Homeland Security releasing it. They’re finally detaining the worst of the worst, and the schadenfreude is as delicious as a face is to a leopard.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a marvelous Saturday, Constant Reader, and I will see you again tomorrow morning.

I love this view of the quarter and the river from the window of the Tennessee Williams Suite at the Monteleone Hotel

Act of Contrition

Thursday and it’s my last day in the office for the week, and I’m kind of glad to not have to get up tomorrow morning. This week hasn’t been terrible as far as being tired or sleepy or feeling worn out as I was–or has this been the case now for a while and I wasn’t paying attention? (That does tend to happen quite a bit.) It’s not sleepiness that causes me to hit the snooze button; it’s how comfortable and relaxed I am in the bed and under the pile of blankets that makes me not want to get up…and that’s every morning, not just the ones when I have to get up early.

Everyone is still reeling from the loss of Dolly Parton–who kept her cancer diagnosis private so “people wouldn’t worry” (so typical)–and it is very sad. I’ve been meaning to rewatch The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas for any number of reasons; maybe this weekend would be a good time? Maybe so; I saw it in the theater back when it was released and greatly enjoyed it, despite its many flaws. Naturally, there was some trash on-line who decided to be nasty about Dolly; there was one bitch in particular whose account eventually disappeared–her biggest reason for calling out Dolly’s mourners is because Dolly recorded a duet with Kid Rock and defended it. Oh my God, why wasn’t she burned at the stake? I believe that particular piece of shit may have either blocked me (I didn’t engage so not likely) or deleted her account. There was another one to that also trended for a while–a redheaded pile of dog shit I had already blocked. Anyone who is being shitty about Dolly Parton is a fucking piece of shit themselves. Dolly was the purest example of living Christianity we maybe ever had–so it wasn’t surprising that both the far right and the far left came for her. They really are the same people.

And now, Tim Curry, too? I’ve loved him since the first time I saw The Rocky Horror Picture Show, and the performance was so fucking iconic that everyone who’s played the role since (sorry, Luke Evans) has just mimicked Curry’s performance and never quite equaled the master. He was usually the best part (or one of the best, at least; he did make a movie with Madeline Kahn, after all) of everything and anything he was in; his Cardinal Richelieu made the execrable remake of The Three Musketeers in the 1990s–and that’s a story I love, so for me to hate the film it had to be bad, right?–bearable. In fact, that was my entire opinion on the movie: Well, at least Tim Curry was in it. And yes, as I wrote about for my newsletter, seeing Rocky Horror when I was nineteen or twenty was eye-opening and mind-altering. He was just so out there and erotic and sensual and so not like anything I’d ever seen or imagined before (well, besides Liza in Cabaret)…Curry was a cultural touchstone for me, much as Dolly was.

What a shitty fucking week this has been, am I right?

Celebrity deaths generally don’t hit me very hard, with a few exceptions (Whitney Houston is one), but Dolly kind of left me off-balance, and the follow-up punch with Tim Curry while already reeling was very disconcerting. I ran an errand on the way home from work last night, and once I was home I just settled in for the night, mindlessly watching short documentaries about the Pacific War and thinking about the book. OH! A marvelous thunderstorm has just rolled in! It’s pouring rain outside! That will make driving to work fun this morning! (I actually don’t mind driving in the rain–safe and snug and dry inside the car while all hell breaks loose outside of it–but I do mind other drivers in the rain, who are absolutely terrifying here. You’d think it never rained here the way drivers here lose their minds driving in it.)

So, Janky Jeff is letting the Space Nazi build a “space port” here in Louisiana; on the Gulf Coast in Vermilion Parish…you know, on the wetlands1 that are at or below sea level–what we call a . What could possibly go wrong? A Category 3 storm surge will wipe it clean, if it doesn’t sink in the marsh first (concrete is heavy; which is why we can’t keep the roads up in New Orleans). But I am sure Janky Jeff and the Space Nazi did environmental impact studies in an endangered wetlands and…ha ha ha ha! NO they didn’t. I’d be surprised if they even did a feasibility study. This is going to help Louisiana continue to erode into the ocean and is going to destroy or wreak havoc on the ecosystem. I wonder how much Janky Jeff pocketed for this deal? Senate candidate Julia Letlow certainly has pocketed some.

Pecan Island Spaceport. You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious.

And on that note I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Thursday, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back in the morning. See you then!

This picture captures the essence of how I viewed New Orleans when we first moved here–a decaying yet still beautiful place with wild overgrowth. I think this may be the house they used for the exteriors for Mayfair Witches, as opposed to the actual house at First and Chestnut which is the actual house from the books.
  1. Pecan Island, the site, is what we call a chênière, a sandy ridge with live oaks. ↩︎

Fever

Tuesday, and day two of my return to the spice mines. I was a bit groggy yesterday, and felt a bit tired in my legs for some reason, but it wasn’t anything, really. And I certainly had the energy to walk around the office pretty briskly while at work. We were busy in the morning–it’s been awhile–but it slowed down in the afternoon so I could get caught up on paperwork and so forth. We also had a marvelous thunderstorm system move through yesterday afternoon; on my way home it was still sprinkling, and it was wonderfully cool. I went to the post office and made a small grocery run and was home before six, which was also nice. Once I was home, of course, I had to feed Sparky and give him some attention before we put on the new episode of Furious (so damned good), followed by an episode of Outer Banks (so damned silly but strangely entertaining; so what if it doesn’t make sense?) before going to bed for the evening, where I slept very well. I feel pretty good this morning, too—if hungry; this morning’s coffee cake slice did not do the trick this morning; I should have eaten something last night but just didn’t feel up to messing around in the kitchen. Tonight I’ll bake potatoes, I think; I have some mushrooms I need to sauté in butter, too; Kerrygold works marvelously for this, by the way.

Sorry/not sorry about the cattle ranchers and farmers going bankrupt. Were all those liberal tears worth it? You voted for this not once but three times (excuse me, #not all ranchers). You wanted ICE, you wanted no regulations, you wanted a whites’ only country, and you kept what? Like four trans girls from competing in sports? You voted for all of this, you pathetic beta cuck bitches, and look! Here you are with your hands out for socialism. That’s practically communism! (Actually, the government controlling the means of production and market IS communism–so all that foul beef, that may or not be wild horse meat–for the record, you fucking idiots. But hey, wasn’t it fun calling Kamala Harris a whore who slept her way to the top? Is losing your cattle and your land worth screaming “Lock her up” about Hilary Rodham Clinton? You tell my community we were freaks and pedophiles and don’t deserve rights? Why the fuck would I give a shit about bailing your homophobic racists asses out with MY tax dollars. Like the student loan situation–didn’t you all oppose that? Aren’t you concerned about the national debt anymore? You scream at the top of your lungs about it whenever there’s a Democrat in the White House; why so silent when your votes are responsible now for it being so incredibly astronomically raised, higher than ever in history? Oh, no, you’ve got your palms up begging for relief from the taxpayers you gladly mock and vote against all the time? Like student loans, why should the taxpayers be on the hook for your poor choices? You don’t even have the balls to NAME him, like the submissive mongrels you are. No, you blame the government–you can’t even say anything critical of him personally. You’re fucking afraid of a pedophile.

Miss me with your low-T whining, you little bitches. Some MEN you are. Your ancestors would be ashamed and embarrassed, you entitled shits.

This was all in Project 2025, by the way. Everything that has happened since he was sworn in last year is straight out of Project 2025; you know, the thing they all lied to you about so you wouldn’t read it…but you were too busy “owning the libs.” Good job. Now someone else is going to own your land and you’ll be homeless and on the dole. Come on guys! Aren’t you the “pull yourself up by your bootstraps real men who don’t need anyone” types? Seriously, go fuck yourselves now and forever.

I was also highly amused to see that the Tate Brothers had to admit to a court that they are broke, they don’t own any of the properties or cars or jewelry they paraded around on-line to give unfuckable young men something to cling to since the world is “so unfair to them!” Whatever happened to “nobody ever said life was fair?” Has anyone checked on the incels today? What with Spider-man whomping on Jake Lang1 this weekend, the collapse of the Tate Brothers…can the collapse of the bros and the so-called man-o-sphere (cuck-o-sphere is more accurate) be far behind?

We started watching Lanterns this weekend, too, and I’m enjoying it. I do like both Kyle Chandler and Aaron Pierre (my God that man is beautiful), and I’ve always liked Green Lantern (I pretend that execrable film with Ryan Reynolds never happened). The show has a kind of slow burn feel to it, and I like that a lot.

I was pleased to see that Nicholas Hoult has bowed out of the TERF Queen’s tv show because of “scheduling conflicts”…I saw someone on-line said, “Yeah, the scheduling conflict was a phone call from an angry James Gunn asking him, why are you buttfucking my Superman sequel?” I, for one, was perfectly willing to never see anything he’s in again–I’ve been a big fan since Warm Bodies–but…he’s still kind of tarnished with homophobic slime, now. I don’t think I’ll ever be as big a fan of his again. His replacement can’t act anyway and mostly looks constipated–so no loss not watching him in anything again…which I’d pretty much decided after Pompeii already. Pompeii was exponentially worse than all of the Twilight movies combined. And I fucking despise Twilight with the white hot passion of a dozen burning suns.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. I am going straight home from work tonight, no stops, and hope to get the kitchen under control. I’ll be back tomorrow, of course. See you then!

I took this picture from the upper balcony at the Times-Picayune office on St. Charles; Paul and I were there for their Friday night before Mardi Gras parade party. I just love how it turned out.
  1. And why is someone with an ankle monitor able to travel so freely between states? Who is bankrolling him? Inquiring minds want to know. ↩︎

Love Song

Saturday morning and I have really lost the plot on what day it is. I kept thinking it was Saturday all day yesterday, which was annoying. And as much as I was wanting to have another day off yesterday (planning on working more today and tomorrow), I actually started writing my next chapter of the WIP, and even worked some on my newsletter drafts, which is becoming more and more fun the more I do of them. Obviously, we didn’t go see the movie because I was writing and had gotten settled into that “in my sweats and I’m in my chair working on my laptop” mode, and so I thought it was better to go ahead and do what work I could while doing my chores. I wound up writing about 1500 words on the new chapter, which was a pleasant and unexpected surprise. Whether they are any good or not is another story, but I am taking the win. I also stayed up later than usual, doing the laundry, and Sparky tried to get me up early again but settled in for cuddles when I didn’t get up.

I watched some more documentaries about the Pacific War again yesterday, which is technically research for the book–since my main character served in the South Pacific during the war. It also occurred to me yesterday that I should watch South Pacific again–I watched it when I was a kid, and never revisited, but thought it might be interesting from a sociological and research point of view; how did they depict sailors with no access to women? It’s been so long I don’t remember much of the movie, or the book either for that matter (Tales of the South Pacific was my entry point for James A. Michener’s work) so one of these weekend mornings when I don’t have much else to do along the lines of reading or chores I could put it on. I liked musicals a lot when I was a kid–I remember seeing The Sound of Music and Camelot on the big screen–but kind of got away from them as a teenager and the post-teen years…the fact that not many were made might have had a lot to do with it. Anyway, it couldn’t hurt, right? And if I can consider something as a kind of sideways research, it doesn’t feel like I’m just wasting my time…see, what you saw right there is an anxiety coping mechanism: I’d feel guilty and anxious for not being productive, so I needed a rationale for it that made sense to my brain.

And while we didn’t go see the movie yesterday after all–and probably won’t this weekend either–we are going to Costco tomorrow.

I watched more of The Burbs yesterday, and when Paul came down from his work-at-home duties, we caught up on both The Shards and Reacher. This most recent episode of The Shards was probably one of the best ones so far, but it’s still Ryan Murphy so there’s kind of a glitzy veneer over it all and character motivations don’t seem to be important (they never are to Murphy)…and almost all of the characters are unlikable, because I at least never feel any sympathy for any of them–and kind of enjoy their failures…I am not sure that’s the primary intent here, but that’s my reaction to it. It’s addicting, though, like so many things are that are nothing more than empty calories, like cotton candy or soda.

I was actually kind of glad we didn’t go to the movie yesterday because around the time we would have left, some amazing thunderstorms rolled into the metro area. The band of bad weather lasted for about six or seven hours, too–with street flooding uptown and there was also HAIL uptown, big chunks of ice hurtling down from the sky. We didn’t have any here at the Lost Apartment, thank the Lord, and it sure would have sucked to bring Costco home during a thunderstorm. Yikes.

Some rather interesting news broke yesterday regarding the Karmelo Anthony case, and a better picture of what happened that day is starting to emerge. When I first heard the news, my first thought was “self-defense” and my second was “they are going to roast and railroad this kid” and I was right about that, too. (Just like when Nolan Wells went missing and my reaction was “he’s dead and those white kids did something, they may not have killed him but they certainly didn’t act like innocent people who didn’t know anything” and as more facts come out…)

Because inevitably it will always turn out to be some kind of bullshit white shenanigans. And that kid Karmelo Anthony killed sounds to me like he was already well on his way to becoming a full-fledged sociopath. We need to stop treating white kids with kid gloves. Hell, we need to stop centering white people, period.

And on that somber note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Saturday, Constant Reader, and I will check in on you again tomorrow morning, okay? Til then!

I’ve never understood the “must shave body and be smooth at all times” mentality. Body hair can be sexy, too—and very masculine.