Tag: mental-health

Hard to Believe

Thursday? And tomorrow’s a holiday? Praise be for a three day weekend! I only am working three days next week, too, as I am meeting Dad in Alabama. And the week after is yet another holiday weekend.

I woke up to thunder around five this morning; we were also having a massive downpour. A tornado alert came to my phone about twenty minutes after the alert that we were in a warning, but I have no idea what part of the city said tornado was striking. YIKES. I always love that the alerts tell us to take shelter in an interior room or basement; New Orleans doesn’t have basements (the house are raised off the ground in most neighborhoods) and we don’t have interior rooms that would trap the heat in summer. I haven’t gotten any notification that the tornado has ended or moved on, either. Having lived five years in Kansas, I have plenty of experience with tornadoes–which makes it more alarming. At least I am medicated this time around. Ah, a quick view of the news has informed me the threat is over, and so are the tornado watches. We’re still in a flash flood alert, though, until around nine this morning. Work wasn’t cancelled, so we must have power in the building…I also don’t have to be there as early as I usually do, either. We’re slow in the clinic today–if anyone shows up at all–and checking Entergy, we do have power so all is well on that front, too, so I need to get it together and get a move on. I wasn’t terribly tired when I got home last night, but what I didn’t want to happen did; when I got home Paul was already on the couch watching television, I sat down for a few minutes to decompress after feeding Sparky and the next thing I knew, it was time for bed. We watched the finale of Widow’s Bay, which I may rewatch to get a better handle on, moved on to Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed, and finished the night off with an episode of America’s Sweethearts.

It’s okay, though. I realized last night that I would probably blow the chores off again tonight and would have to catch up on everything Friday morning, like I usually do. But…no work-at-home this week because of the holiday. Maybe I can get back on the writing horse tonight, too. I am not stopping to make groceries, either, on my way home tonight. We have plenty of foodstuffs with which to make meals, and yes, his Majesty is nearly out of treats, which would be a high crime and misdemeanor in the Lost Apartment. Sigh. Maybe I should stop on the way home. Such a spoiled little baby he is!

Paul’s doing much better; it seems like every day he is getting around better and he isn’t getting antsy about leaving the house, either. I suspect he won’t be terribly thrilled when he has to start going back to the office, I know I wasn’t! But my coffee is starting to kick in and I am feeling more awake and alert with every passing minute. Huzzah! I do have things I need to get caught up on at the office, but I also get to leave early, which is awesome….so yeah, if the weather isn’t too inclement, I should make some groceries–even though we don’t really need much of anything. Hmmm. Play it by ear and see how the weather is going; if the CBD is flooding I’m not going to go that way! The last thing I need is having a flood total my car.

Sorry my life hasn’t been more interesting, Constant Reader. I really don’t want to talk about the current events going on in the world right now; every day the news is even more absurd and insane than the day before. Are we great again yet? I know I am tired of all of this kind of winning, if that’s what you can call it.

But the one bright spot of the week has been the videos posted of foreigners coming to the US for the first time and having the best time. It’s kind of funny that we go visit historic sites or natural wonders when we go to their countries; when they come here, oddly enough, they want to try fast food and go see Walmart and Costco and Buc-ee’s, and loving every minute of it1. Apparently Europeans didn’t think we actually had yellow school buses, and are tripping their minds when they see one? I also saw a video of a European watching an intense thunderstorm in Arkansas and being blown away because they don’t have them over there. Seeing their wonder and love for everything they are doing–and the way Americans have embraced them–they are also surprised by how friendly and nice everyone is (one video was just a collection of scenes of this guy shocked that people will hold the door open for the people behind them, which is something we don’t think about and is absolutely automatic. I love that Boston and Scotland have fallen in love with each other. I’m also amazed at how many are having issues with the heat here–and it’s still spring. I kind of wish they’d used the Superdome for one of the games, so we could enjoy some foreign visitors, too. It also serves as a reminder that we do have a pretty cool country, for the most part–just because one-third of the population is bottom-feeding garbage doesn’t mean we all are, and that our country is worth fighting the fascists for. We’ve never lived up to our ideals as a nation, but we can get there someday.

Who knew the World Cup would turn out to be such a bright spot for us? We definitely needed this boost, for sure.

And someday we can make the ideal of true freedom and equality a reality for everyone.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Holiday Eve, everyone, and I will be back tomorrow morning.

The pier in Panama City Beach
  1. I also love how they all fall in love with ranch dip! ↩︎

It’s a Tuff Life

And somehow, it is already Pay-the-Bills Wednesday again somehow, which is wild to me, you know? Yesterday was okay. I had slept weirdly Monday night; I kept waking up. The first time was at 12:30, and then it was every hour or so until the alarm went off. Sparky has now taken to getting into the bed before the alarm and cuddling with me until it starts beeping; then he feels he can whine at me, smack my face with his paw, rub his cheeks all over my face while purring. It’s kind of nice, actually. We had off and on rain from this as yet unnamed (it will be Arthur, if it gets more organized) tropical system off the coast of Texas. This storm is predicted (at least as of now) to came ashore along the state line with Texas and then blow northeast across Louisiana. It’s not going to pass directly over New Orleans, but we’ll be on the east side of it, which means a lot of rain…they’re thinking between ten and fifteen inches between now and Friday…which could be a problem. Our street has only flooded once, and even then, my car was fine because I was parked across the street, which is higher than our side. Sigh.

I was also a bit on the groggy side yesterday, and I originally thought it was because of the sleep interruptions, but when I got home from work I had a massive sinus attack. Of course my sinuses were going to react to the pressure change from a tropical system. Ah, well. I was a bit tired when I got home, so just relaxed a bit and hung out with Paul and Sparky in the living room. (We also finished watching Bring Me the Beauties, which is completely insane.) I didn’t do anything once I got home from work because I was a little drained from the day. I’d started off feeling a bit off, but really hit the wall in the afternoon. We were busy in the clinic (not so much today, so I can get caught up on things), so that kept me on my toes, and I literally collapsed into my easy chair once I’d gotten home and changed into my sweats.

The air is very heavy and damp this morning, which really makes me want to go back to bed and get under my blankets. Here’s hoping this doesn’t lure me into sleepiness! But seriously, is there anything better than being under blankets and warm when it’s damp and cold?

I didn’t do any writing or reading yesterday, either, which is understandable, given the weird head-space I was in yesterday. I am hoping my mind’s creativity isn’t groggy today, and really, that’s what was groggy yesterday and is a bit this morning, too–apparently my intelligence is groggy this morning too. This is what I mean by malaise. Sometimes after doing some writing I need to let my brain and creativity recharge and power up again. I do have things to do when I get home, and I have to run an errand on my way home as well. The kitchen is almost out of control again, so I need to do the dishes and empty the dishwasher and reload it and there are several loads of laundry that need doing. If I can stay focused when I get home, I can get that stuff done before we settle in for the night. We also started watching the new season of America’s Sweethearts, which is always interesting to me. We’re OG’s with this show–I remember when it was on TNN as Making the Squad. It’s the same show, but they clearly have a much higher budget and Netflix exposed it to the world…meaning the individual girls now have lots of fans and demands on them, as opposed to them as a team. An interesting turn of events! Can Kelli and Judy keep that team spirit alive in the girls in the face of all this attention? Stay tuned!

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a great Wednesday everyone! I’ll be back here tomorrow!

Promises in the Dark

Monday and back to the office with me today. Friday is a holiday, which is lovely, and the next two weeks are short ones for me, too.

I think we’re going to be busy in the clinic this week and short-handed, but it’s a four day week with a lovely holiday on Friday. Yesterday was nice and relaxing. I wrote a bit, read a bit, and cleaned up a bit. I made my mash-up Swedish meatballs stroganoff, and this batch turned out well–even though I forgot to put shallots in the sauce or garnish with diced green onions. I also used the Maldon salt and beef bone broth, too, which also kicked in the flavor even more. They will make wonderful leftovers for work today, too. They always taste better the second day. Lucky me! I also slept well, and feel rested an ready for a new work week. Huzzah? My coffee is good, and on the way home from work tonight I have to get a few things at the grocery store. The car has a full tank so I don’t need to worry about gas until I leave next week. We are pretty well-stocked over all, and of course, I get paid again on Wednesday.

I published another newsletter, about The Rocky Horror Picture Show, which you can read by clicking right here. I have a few more entries to do this month, and I am thinking about writing one to close out the month that will help lead into more essays about masculinity and being a sexual suspect in these United States. According to the weather report, we are supposed to be inundated with rain this morning, and the rest of the day is going to be cloudy and overcast. I took out the trash last night, and gasped when I went outside, the air was so damned thick and damp and hot and heavy. We also binged the second season of Running Point, which is kind of Ted Lasso-like if the show primarily focused on Rebecca, and we really enjoyed it. We also watched this week’s episode of Cape Fear, which is very well-cast and very well done. I’m not really sure where this all is going–it’s not the plot I remember from the book or the movies, but my memory isn’t the best, but so far it seems like the only similarities is the wife is a lawyer who convicted Max Cady (instead of the husband) and they have a son as well as the daughter. Juliette Lewis popped in for this most recent episode, which was, honestly, a nice touch.

I’m not loving the show, though. It’s shot very well, the actors are stellar, but…it’s not gripping me the way a thriller should, but maybe it’s because it’s a slow-burn? I’ll keep watching, of course, for the cast and the production values but they need to get this train moving soon.

I also wrote some this weekend. I started two more projects–just to get them out of my mind–and made some progress on some short stories I am working on. It’s nice, so very nice, to be into creating and writing again. This is what I love–not the conventions or book signings or promotion or any of the marketing side of being a writer; but maybe that will change with the anxiety finally under control. I also think I’m doing good work; I’m trying to write in the present tense more than the past, which is my comfort zone and my default; I always have to go back and correct the tenses.

I feel good this morning, too. It’s going to be a good week, at least it already feels like a good one.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines for the day. Have a lovely Monday, Constant Reader!

Evil Genius

Sunday morning, and how are you doing this morning, Constant Reader? Yesterday was actually quite a lovely day, and yes, I did manage to get quite a bit accomplished. I got up a little later than usual, did some chores around the house in the morning, got cleaned up and ran errands. I bought gas at Harmony Circle; $3.79 per gallon (and how sad is it that was a relief? Sure, it was all “economic anxiety.” Bitch, please.), bought more pens at Office Depot, picked up the dry cleaning before heading uptown to get the mail, and then swung by to make groceries. I also ordered things for delivery, so we are now all stocked up for quite a while, at least. I was exhausted when I got home; the heat and humidity were incredibly oppressive. Yes, I know where I live, but this was more like late August in the peak of the dog days of summer rather than mid-June. That heat just sucks the life and energy right out of you the way cold weather can drain a car battery. But it felt good to feel good and get all of that done, and it really didn’t take terribly long, either.

I also spent, all told, nearly three hundred dollars on groceries over four stores. Seriously.

Fuck everyone who didn’t vote for the weird laugh lady. Seriously. Now and forever.

But it was a good day. We had a marvelous rainstorm yesterday afternoon, and I cooked out once it was over. I also had a delicious slice of Creole tomato on my bacon cheeseburger; I pity everyone who doesn’t have easy access to them during the season. I did get some cleaning done in the kitchen, but not nearly enough so I will have to spend some time working on that today. But I feel great about the weekend and I feel great about the work I’m doing, too. It feels weird because I also have free time at the same time I’m writing, which is something I’m not used to.

I also kind of just let my mind wander free and I wound up starting this horrible little short story called “The Itsy-Bitsy Spider.” I don’t know where it came from, but I’d had the title in my head for a few days for some reason (I honestly don’t know, but my brain skitters around in an almost constant free flowing stream of consciousness that flashes by so quickly I often don’t remember where the thoughts that stick come from) and scribbled the title down. I saw it again yesterday, heard the nursery rhyme in my head, and had the most twisted thought…so I started writing it. I also realized that perhaps the reason I’ve never had much success as a horror writer is because I am afraid to let my mind go and be as freaky and wild as it can possibly get. (I’ve been wanting to write more horror lately, and…I have the time now, so why not?) I also spent a lot of time wanting to be a horror writer in my twenties; my first three young adult novels were horror of a sort, and I did write those in the early 1990s.

Today’s Washington weather looks pretty amazing, actually, he typed with a smirk on his face. No rain for us today, but we’ll get some thunderstorms tomorrow. Today I need to do some writing and reading, and cleaning for sure. I want to make Swedish meatballs for dinner; and that’s going to make a mess for sure. Since Creole tomatoes are back in season, I had one of my marvelous grilled cheese yesterday–with a diced slice of tomato, some bacon, and guacamole, using Maldon garlic salt for seasoning. My God, was that thing delicious. We also got all the way caught up on Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed, which is actually quite good; Tatiana Maslany slays, as always, in the lead.

And on that note, I am going to head into the spice mines. Hope your Sunday is as marvelous as you, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back tomorrow, bright and early, as I return to the office. And of course, Happy Pride to everyone.

The majesty of Yosemite

Little Paradise

Tuesday morning and so far, so good. I had no problem getting up and going to work yesterday morning, and I made some groceries on the way home last night. Today I am leaving early from the office to go record Susan Larson’s show for local NPR (YAY! Love Susan!) and later on I am seeing my gastroenterologist for the yearly follow up on the ulcerative colitis, which is why I had so many labs to get drawn over the last few weeks. I don’t think I’ll have to see him again for six months or so; who knows? I guess we’ll see how it goes.

Yesterday wasn’t bad, by any means. I am mostly caught up on my work–always a lovely feeling at the day job–and I got some emails answered; emails always beget emails, alas. I correspond regularly with two friends and my dad, so it’s not like I have a lot to answer anymore these days. (I remember waking up to over 300 new emails in my inbox; something I do not miss the remotest bit.) Now I think back to how busy I used to be and think, I didn’t need to ever be that busy, and it’s true. I didn’t. No regrets though, I worked very hard but I also had a lot of fun. I couldn’t possibly ever be that busy again; maybe, I don’t know, but I also don’t want to find out, either. I like getting up and going to work, not dreading checking my emails, I like writing my blog and my newsletter (it’s right here, if you’re so inclined; it’s about the International Male Catalogue), I like running my errands, and I like having time to rest and recharge whenever I need to. It’s kind of nice, actually. And the primary issue I’ve had with the day job this decade is being tired in the mornings and being exhausted by the end of the day…which doesn’t really seem to be a problem anymore. Physically and mentally I feel better than I have in years; it’s almost like I’d forgotten how that felt.

It had been a hot minute, for real.

After getting home last night, Paul and I watched some more of The Boroughs, after which we watched videos of President Harkonnen1 getting royally booed in New York at the Knicks game–good. The Boroughs is interesting; something different I’ve not seen in horror media before. I like that the cast is all mostly older, and it’s focused on a retirement community–the one from HELL. We’ll finish that tonight after I get home from everything and all the running around I have to do today. Heavy sigh. I need to have some things delivered tonight, too. I really need to get more organized, always a struggle under the best of times and the best of situations. I have a sink full of dishes I need to get into the dishwasher tonight, and of course, the floors always need attention. So does the refrigerator, frankly. I definitely need to just do chores when I get home from my appointment today before I do anything else; definitely something that I need to get done. I also looked over some of the writing I got done over the weekend and simply couldn’t be more pleased, frankly. I really like the work I am doing now, and I don’t know that I’ve ever said or felt that way before?

Thank you, medication.

Apparently, the Mormons are learning what I could have told them all along–Republicans and evangelicals are not your friends no matter how much money you give them or how many times you vote for them. The Catholics are next, of course–although the fact MAGA demands they put their faith in Lord Harkonnen rather than the Pope should have tipped them off. I always knew they were cosplay Christians, but even I didn’t expect them to embrace apostasy and blasphemy so publicly. Where’s the Inquisition when you need it?

Seriously.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a fabulous Tuesday, Constant Reader, and I will check back in with you tomorrow.

It just ain’t the rural south unless there’s a car from the 1950‘s rusting in a field. I actually wrote a short story about one a million years ago; I wonder where that is? They make great story prompts.
  1. A Dune reference, for those who didn’t catch it. Baron Harkonnen is the revolting villain of Dune. ↩︎

Wuthering Heights

How is it Sunday already? From whence didst my weekend goeth? (I am sure that is incorrect usage, but I can’t be bothered to check) Yet it is gone already and tomorrow morning I’ll be up early again to head into the office. I was still running a bit on accessory and still recharging yesterday, and that was okay. I slept later than I’d expected, but that was fine. I drank my coffee and had my breakfast and made my entry yesterday morning. I read for a bit, caught up some on the news, and then ran my errands. I took a load of clothes to the dry cleaner and two boxes of books to the library sale. I also stopped at the Fresh Market to pick up a few things, and came home to just kind of chill and read some more of my book before Paul got up. I. had thought about heading to the Creole Tomato Festival at the French Market yesterday, but there was some kind of stupid other thing going on at the other end of the Quarter–right on my way to the Market, so I decided not to bother. I got some great ones at the grocery store on Friday, anyway, and I cut one up to have with mozzarella salad for lunch, and it was marvelous. Probably having the same lunch today, too.

Creole tomatoes are the best. I love Creole tomato season.

I also wrote a little bit more yesterday while the television was on in the background while Nurse Sparky took care of Paul (sleeping on him), which also felt kind of nice. It’s also kind of strange that I am learning how much I love writing again by going back to the very beginning; I am writing everything by hand in my journal, and my handwriting is getting prettier and prettier as well as more precise. I also wrote on the computer, about a thousand words overall on some short stories, about four in all, which was kind of scattered and fun again. I also started writing the opening of yet another novel–but I was worried about forgetting how I wanted that particular novel to open, so I wrote it.

It’s nice to be writing again, even if it is all pretty much scattered and all over the place.

I spent most of the day in my easy chair, either scribbling in my journal or watching television. We watched more of Cape Fear, Sweetpea, and The Boroughs last evening. We still haven’t watched Bridgerton or Stranger Things, and I’m not sure why we lost interest in either. Maybe because there was so much time between seasons? I don’t know. There’s a new Harlan Coben show dropping next week, and we’re looking forward to that–we always love Harlan’s shows–and I also did some reading yesterday morning. I would like to do some more reading this morning, and maybe even some more writing; one never can be certain how the day is going to go. I slept in this morning, and feel a bit tired, too.

But my coffee is going down nicely and my body is also waking up. My workspace is a complete and utter mess this morning, and I should work on that some. All the stuff I dropped off yesterday enabled me to clean and organize that corner of the living room, and maybe it’s time to start clearing out the bead trunk, too. I can keep things in there besides the beads–all the living room blankets, for one–and then close it for another clean surface. I’ll look into that this week, to see if ARCNO still has bead donations spots up and running around the city.

And I should do some cleaning and organizing of the kitchen.

And on that note, I am going to bring this to a close, so I can get another cup of coffee and make my breakfast to get this day started. Will it be a productive one, or will it not? It remains to be seen, and I will check in with you again tomorrow. See you then!

El Castillo, Chichen Itza, Mexico. And yes, despite being both afraid of heights AND falling, Greg climbed that thing. Coming down was much worse.

So Sincere

Saturday morning in the Lost Apartment and all is well–at least so far. 🙂 Today, all I have to do is swing by the Latter Library to drop off books to the book sale and stop at the Fresh Market on my way home from the library. It rained last night (I know, surprise) and I slept well,. I also slept a little later this morning because I was very tired last night because I had to get up at six to go to the office for a meeting. After that I had to run some errands (lab work, mail, groceries) before heading home to do my work and clean. I did manage to get some cleaning done–I got the bed linens and a load of laundry done, and did some picking up and organizing while season one of The Traitors played in the background. We also watched Pillion last night, and while I was appreciative of the attempt made by the film to show that kind of a relationship, it didn’t click with me and I kind of found it to be a bit dull–which is not something you want with a movie about sub/dom. I hadn’t wanted to see it, despite its subject matter (something spicy and gay–and yes, much as I hate using the word spicy to describe sex, it kind of works) because a good friend who is more knowledgeable and experienced with dom/sub relationships had hated it; which told me everything I needed to know about whether I should watch or not. They were right, too–I disliked the movie and thought it was kind of dull; I appreciated the attempt, though. Years ago it wouldn’t have been made, so there’s that. Progress? Maybe?

After I finished working yesterday I wrote a lot last night. One of my major problems with self-destructive mental patterns is that I don’t consider anything to be actually “writing” unless I’ve written some fiction. But last night as I sat in my chair, I wrote a lot in my journal, and it wasn’t just free flowing stream of consciousness stuff while my mind wandered. I actually planned out several short stories and novellas (already in progress, but I rarely do a lot of prep work for short stories, which could be the problem), which felt great–I rarely work out the stories and plots and usually just have an idea and start typing and hoping my brain keeps going. Just typing that made me see the absolute failure of logic there and maybe I just rewired my brain. I’ve filled almost an entire journal with my scribblings since I started a new one several weeks ago…which is a lot of fucking writing that I don’t count, as well as the blog and newsletter. Maybe this is why I am called prolific so much? I just scoff when people say that because I always think I can do more.

Learn to accept a compliment, Gregalicious.

I think I will probably take things a bit slow today–at least this morning, at any rate–because I do feel a bit tired. I need to take boxes of books to the library sale, stop by Fresh Market, and pick up the mail. Oh! One of my errands yesterday was also to pick up the new Lev Rosen, The Disaster Gay Detective Agency, which I’m hoping to read after I finish All of Us Murderers. I am also behind on his Andy Mills series; I still have the last two to go. I am going to spend some time reading this morning, and we’ll see how the day goes. I am a little worn down from the week, but I made it through the week without feeling tired or worn out or exhausted or fatigued. This morning feels like I’m on accessory power while my batteries recharge–and the errands aren’t going to help much, I don’t think. I also want to run by the dry cleaners and drop some things off that have been in the living room since the Festivals–it’s funny how you dump things in a chair and think oh, I’ll get to that later only to lose track of days and weeks and suddenly that stuff has been sitting there for months. I hope there’s no afterlife because Mom would be judging the fuck out of me!

And on that note, I am going to bring this to a close, get more coffee, and adjourn to my easy chair where I can check out the news and read for a bit before getting cleaned up to run my errands. I hope you have a fabulous day, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back tomorrow morning, bright-eyed and rested and a-rarin’ to go.

Yes, great body and all, but I think he’s got a handsome face and I love that half-smile.

You Better Run

Friday morning and I am up early yet again to head into the office for a meeting, after which I can come home before I head to have labs done at two different places (one is an actual blood draw–Labcorp–and the other is to drop off a sample at Quest…and they are both in the same building, thank you Baby Jesus) before coming home and settling in for a day of work-at-home duties as well as cleaning chores. I was a little spacy yesterday morning as it got later, but it was more about being hungry (I’m still getting used to how it feels to be hungry, as it’s not something I’ve experienced much, but that’s a tale for another time.)

I did write and send out a newsletter yesterday, about queer bookstores and how much I miss them, which you read by clicking here. I’ve also finished my entry on A Violent Masterpiece, which I set to go out on July 1, after Pride month has ended–because all I’m doing in the newsletter this month is being gay gay gay. What can I say? Isn’t it a requirement that I shove my sexuality down the throats of the poor, sad, pathetic homophobes or thirty days? I mean, it is one of my favorite times of the year, precisely for that reason. It’s so tiring though, watching the trash be homophobic with their tired whines and complaints; can’t you lazy fucks come up with something new? Christ on the cross, already. Get better writers.

I wasn’t terribly tired when I got home yesterday–I ran an errand on the way home, too–and did a few chores once I got home, but once I was ensconced into my easy chair, I felt a bit worn out. I didn’t have any issues getting up this morning, and I feel rested and good; who could ask for anything more? The day will get a little hectic once I leave here and start running around town, but soon enough I’ll be home and doing my quality assurance work, which I am very behind on. I dug out my to-do notebook this morning, and there was quite a bit for me to cross off, which was lovely. I think the used up pages are due to be removed, though. I am going to try to be better this weekend about being productive and getting things done. I am itching to write some fiction–I’ve got to stop letting the pressure of the newsletter to get under my skin in my subconscious; the only person who’s disappointed when I don’t finish one and send it out is me, so…

We started watching a documentary series, Bring Me the Beauties, which is a bizarre story about a man who believed he was an alien, started a cult, and was connected to male modeling, especially a model whose professional name was Hoyt Richards. This is new to me; I’d not heard that story before, so it was interesting, and then we started watching a new show on Apple, Cape Fear, obviously based on the previous films and the book (The Executioners by John D. MacDonald), and it has both an excellent cast and is very well produced. I don’t know why we need a series to tell the story again, but streamers hedge their bets with using already existing IPs, don’t they? It’s really good, and I am looking forward to watching more–as well as getting through The Boroughs and other things we are currently watching. We also need to finish The Comeback, and some other things we’ve started. I’ll probably put on another season of The Traitors in the background while I work and clean today.

I actually am feeling good this morning, now that the coffee is kicking in. There’s something to getting up earlier, isn’t there? Well, let’s hope this holds through the entire weekend!

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely day, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back with you tomorrow morning!

The temple of Ramesses II at Abu Simbel, at night. Gorgeous.

Never Wanna Leave You

Thursday morning coming in strong, how are you doing? Yesterday was kind of drab and overcast and rainy, which was terrific–you know I love me some rain–and a huge relief after how thick and awful the humidity was when I left for the office yesterday morning. That also explains the sinus attack I had when I got up–I had to take a Claritin-D, it was so bad–but I could tell by the time I got to the office it was going to rain. I didn’t get any “flood watch” texts or emails, so it wasn’t too bad. We’re supposed to get a lot more rain today and tomorrow, with it clearing up a bit on the weekend. It’s rained a lot here this late spring, and I can’t remember the last time we had such a wet May and June. I love it, of course–I really do want it to rain all day Friday so after I finish my work-at-home chores I can read under a blanket while it storms outside. I did some chores last night when I got home from work, and felt pretty good. Paul and I watched some television–we started Sweetpea, which is delightfully wicked and twisted in a deliciously macabre kind of way–and then it was time for bed.

I feel good this morning, and I wasn’t terribly tired when I got home yesterday, which was most definitely a good thing. I think not only am I getting close to being back to what would be considered normal, health-wise, again for the first time in years but maybe I’m finally getting used to getting up at six in the morning every day, which would be lovely. It’s lovely not to feel tired when I am working with a client, it’s lovely to think oh, I have the energy to get some things done tonight on the way home from work, but i also have to get used to the idea that just because Paul is on the couch watching television doesn’t mean I have to join him, but it’s lovely to have time together just watching our shows or finding new ones. I hate when I am a Festival widow, because there’s nothing I enjoy more than just hanging out with Paul and Sparky while relaxing. (If it’s raining outside? Chef’s kiss! We are getting a lot of rain lately; I’m starting to see social media posts about locals being tired of the rain, so…)

I did write a newsletter that is scheduled to go out today for Pride Month; about the missing queer bookstores and how much I used to love them, and how good they were to me as an author. This was actually inspired by seeing a post on Tampa Bay LGBT History’s Facebook page about Tomes and Treasures, mentioning the guy who owned it, whom I actually met at the store (it was the first gay bookstore I ever entered) and how that store opened up my life to the vastness that was gay fiction and non-fiction, as well as all the other colors of the rainbow). As I am someone who has always learned best by reading (which is why I always sucked at math), books helped me get a better understanding of our history, how much of that is hidden in plain sight (I mean, I knew when reading history books that while they didn’t come right out and say is “oh, this king preferred men”–I knew what the truth of Edward II, Henri III, Frederick the Great, Philippe d’Orleans, and others really was), it was pretty safe to assume any king or emperor or great lord who had male favorites (Henri III’s were called “the mignons”) was actually a queen.

After Tuesday’s elections, I saw one of those “leftist influencers,” (whom I’ve never trusted; for one, he’s a nepo-baby and comes from money) who always gave me a homophobic vibe, dropped the mask entirely, claiming California voters gave into the “homo-fascist agenda” and several other unspeakably vile things–demeaning and degrading an already vilified minority group really isn’t the way to go for a straight white cisgender nepo-baby. It doesn’t take long for their masks to drop, does it? How is this any different from gay men like Keith Edwards who are racists and carrying water for white supremacy and misogyny? (You’re GAY, Keith, they will turn on you once you’ve sold everyone else out.) Well, you can miss me with all of your stans’ excuses and homophobia, Mr. Nepo-Baby. Fuck you. I’m waiting for the girls you date-raped while in your fraternity to come forward–and you know they are there because he’s clearly a pig with a massive ego.

Oh, and Mr. Nepo Baby? You’re not that hot, babe. Bet you’ve got some super-sexy back hair, too.

This is also why I get so angry when I see anyone on the left ready and willing to throw trans people under the bus; because it wasn’t that long ago that the left was willing to throw us ALL under the bus–gay, lesbian, bi, trans etc.

The fact that no one calls it out, ever, is even more sickening and disgusting.

And Nepo-Baby bottom-feeder said this shit during PRIDE MONTH.

Miss me with your excuses and explanations. There is no way that saying “homo-fascist” under ANY circumstance isn’t homophobic.

And I believe people when they show me who they are. Hence my lack of empathy, pity or sympathy for anyone MAGA, or voted MAGA while claiming not to be. You pissed all over my rights to own the libs. Fuck you now, and fuck you forever.

Homophobia will always be unforgivable. I wouldn’t piss on him if he was on fire in front of me; I’d look for things to stoke the fire.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. May your Thursday be awesome and your month homophobia free. I’ll be back tomorrow, see you then!

I would love to go to Carnival in Venice and wear one of these amazing costumes.

No You Don’t

Wednesday and how is it pay-the-bills day again already? #madness.

But sure enough, it sure is pay-the-bills Wednesday again! The week is on its downward slide into the weekend, and today is probably my busiest day at the office. I do have some stuff to catch up on, but I feel good. I slept well, and am not even a little bit groggy or tired, although this morning I am not as awake and on top of things as I was yesterday. That’s also fine. I don’t need to spring out of bed every morning to the alarm, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed (which is a really weird saying when you think about it), so long as I don’t feel an urgent need to go back to sleep.

Yesterday was a good day. Paul’s a bit grumpy from having to stay at home and be mostly immobile, which is usually the case; he doesn’t really like being inactive for a period of time. He’ got his physical therapy today, so that’ll get him out of the house and moving, which is a good thing. Huzzah! We gave up on season 2 of The Four Seasons last night, and also started something else which we noped out of after five minutes–we have a 15 minute rule for movies and a two episode rule for television series, but whatever that was, it was embarrassingly bad and removed from our watch list quickly. We settled in for Widow’s Bay and started The Boroughs, which is interesting and very well done. There’s also a new Tatianna Maslany series we want to check out at some point, too. Maybe we should go back and revisit that rebooted Perry Mason series, with Matthew Rhys–now that we’ve become fans.

I also managed to do some chores; I washed all the dishes and ran the dishwasher overnight, which was a very good thing to get done and out of the way; tonight I’m going to unload the dishwasher, clean the counters, and rearrange the kitchen rugs. I also need to get things out of the living room, and should take that pile of clothes to the dry-cleaner at some point. There are boxes of books that need to go to the library sale (Saturday morning, I’m looking at you), and of course, the living room floor also needs some attention, as do the stairs. Making my house a home is an endless chore, isn’t it? I also want to get some reading done this week. I also need to realize that just because Paul is on the couch watching television doesn’t need to mean I have to sit in there, too; it’s just a natural inclination at this point to grab something to drink and plop down in the easy chair.

It’s hard to say no to both Paul and Sparky, you know.

I also have to have labs drawn on Friday morning, after my in-person meeting at the office at nine. I don’t need to bring my work laptop home, since I am coming in Friday morning, which will be nice. I imagine I’ll just go ahead and get up at the usual time and get here around seven-thirty, after which I head home and then uptown. It’s very muggy and humid this morning; it did come a downpour last night while we were watching television; we’re all supposed to have thunderstorms this afternoon and evening. I am going to run uptown to get the mail on the way home from work tonight, and I may make a bit of groceries as well, but probably not; I can do that after getting labs drawn Friday. Yes, that sounds like an excellent plan. I’ll get out my daily planner and make notes for the next two days on primary things that need to be done.

I really do feel good this morning; no muscle fatigue and no brain fog, which is wonderful. These mornings where I am not tired or groggy are becoming more common, so either I am recovering from everything at long last, and getting a better idea of what it is actually going to be like to be a senior citizen.

A senior citizen.

That’s kind of humbling, isn’t it?

And on THAT note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely day, Constant Reader, and I will be back on the morrow.

At first, I couldn’t understand why his trunks fit so poorly before realizing it was the rope in the foreground!