Category: Alabama

No One Needs to Know

Somehow we’ve managed to roll around to last day in the office Thursday again, and I feel pretty good. I felt good all day yesterday and managed to make it through the day without getting tired–at least, not until I got home, at any rate. I did manage some chores last night too, once I was home, and that was terrific. I decided not to run any errands until tomorrow–I can make a grocery run and get the mail after my doctor appointment tomorrow. I am meeting my new doctor for the first time–my last one left the practice, and may have even left town for all I know, which is a shame, because he was the first doctor I’ve had in a while that I really liked. AH, well. Hopefully I’ll like my new doctor, who is a woman. (Women tend to be better doctors for me, probably the gay thing.) I slept really well, and feel a bit wrung out this morning, as one tends to feel on Thursday morning/last day of getting up at six for the week. I also have to make an appointment with my gastroenterologist. (Hey, spelled it right the first time; a good sign for the day.) I do want to watch an episode of Friday the 13th tonight, maybe do some picking up and cleaning, maybe even some reading or writing. #madness

I didn’t get a lot of things done last night because the final results finally came in and the race was called. MISSISSIPPI!!!! Even though it seemed inevitable, I didn’t put it past the establishment in that state to pull some hijinks, shenanigans, and outright fraud–which absolutely would have happened had the count not taken so damned long. Louisiana, Alabama, and Florida might flip next time around, too–I have high hopes of getting rid of Klandry next year, please God–as long as the corporate Democrats don’t fuck this up yet again. Don’t forget to write Senator-elect Turek about his betrayal of the queer community, too. I may not be an Iowa voter, but he needs to be shown the error of his craven ways.

I also took some grim satisfaction in knowing that his own party hates him so much that they would rather have the pedophile protecting piece of shit JIM JORDAN as leader than Steve Scalise. Ha ha ha ha, fuck you, Scalise, now and forever, you malignant racist homophobic piece of shit. I can’t imagine how humiliating it must have felt to know your own party–the one you sold your morality, conscience, and basic decency for–think that the moron from Ohio would make a better leader than you. If I were Scalise, I don’t know that I’d be able to show my face in public for a while…but again–no shame or conscience, so that won’t happen. I just am going to embrace that bitch slap for what it was, what it meant, and how good it was to hear the news. May the rest of your life be one humiliation after another, Steve, and I look forward to the day you’re as irrelevant as David Vitter.

Social media was abuzz yesterday with the news that Skydance fired James Gunn, and you know they are just going to fuck DC Studios hard enough to make it unsalvageable. That’s fine. I loved everything Gunn did with DC–vastly superior to its predecessors–and Superman was fucking incredible. Everything he did was. I’ve always liked DC since I was a kid and have always rooted for them to do well…now I no longer care. “Movies with Christian principles that my grandmother would have loved” is a tell, isn’t it? Makes you wonder how that is going to square with Wonder Woman, a figure based in Greek mythology who is from an island of only women? WIll she cover her bosoms for the first time in nearly a hundred years, and will she cover up her legs for the sake of modesty and not to tempt the other super-heroes with lust? I was looking forward to the next seasons of Lanterns and Peacemaker, too.

AH, well, life goes on and it’s not worth wasting any time being upset about it or anything. If that’s the worst thing that happens this month, then it’s a fucking good month. It looks like we are going to have some cold weather this weekend (for New Orleans) which means bundling up in the living room while reading or writing or watching television and marvelously deep sleep at night. I do love this time of year, and it’s almost Christmas, too…my favorite season. Maybe this year I’ll take some pictures of Christmas decor in the neighborhood. I do need to start taking walks…and with it getting dark earlier, I can go around six and the lights will be on. Huzzah! (I somehow didn’t get any Halloween pictures this year, either, like a terrible person.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely day, Constant Reader, and I will see you here bright and early before my meeting. Till then!

Statue of an Egyptian queen from antiquity; I think Nefertari, wife of Ramses the Great.

Whose Bed Have Your Boots Been Under?

Monday and back to the office with me this morning. Huzzah? I suppose. It’s in the low sixties this morning, which is brisk and lovely, and I slept really well last night. I’m feeling much better this morning than I have in days, which is also nice. I hate being sick, or under the weather; I suppose, now that I’ve been hospitalization sick, I need to be more careful about defining what sick means and how it feels to me. It was a head cold with a sore throat; not COVID or anything like that (I did check, of course), and now that it’s on the way out I am delighted. I didn’t get as much done yesterday as I would have liked; Sparky was a lap cat yesterday morning, which made it hard to get much done. I did work on an essay/newsletter which I hope to send out today, and scribbled notes in my journal. I did make a grocery run yesterday morning, and I also found some fleece sweatpants from Reebok that I really liked, so I bought them in three colors and can now get rid of those awful ones I bought last year when I was sick.

This morning I feel better than I have in a long while, and I am also looking forward to a normal style weekend this week, but I imagine we’ll be heading over to Costco at some point this coming weekend. I did do a little bit of reading yesterday, too, which was nice, and I feel like this could actually be a really productive week for me; although we will have to wait and see, won’t we? I also need to remember that the ulcerative colitis is an auto-immune disorder, so my immune system is compromised so I don’t recover from things as quickly as I used to, and they probably hit harder than they used to, as well. I really don’t enjoy being sick.

I also started my re-watch of Friday the 13th the Series from the DVD set I recently purchased; it needs to be digitally remastered, but it’s still a lot of fun to watch. I only watched the debut episode, “The Inheritance,” which sets up the series and introduces us to the three main characters–Ryan, Mickey, Jack. Jack is a specialist in the occult, and Ryan and Mickey are cousins who’ve inherited their uncle’s antique shop. Their uncle was Lewis Vendredi, and he’d made a deal with the devil, so everything in his store was cursed. Mickey, engaged to a kind of controlling dick, just wants to liquidate and get out of there; Ryan goes along with it…but after selling a bunch of things, Jack Marshak shows up and tells them about the curse and the truth about their legacy. The first object they look for is a cursed doll, bought for an unhappy little girl with a horrific stepmother, and the doll starts killing people who upset the little girl. The mission is a success (despite a couple of deaths) and the episode ends with Mickey dumping her controlling fiancée, the three decide to team up to track down all the objects, and they rename the store Curious Goods. The visual quality isn’t great–it needs to be digitally remastered, as I noticed earlier–and of course, it was very low budget so the special effects aren’t that great, either–but the concept is great, and the cast is likable enough with strong chemistry. The rewatching will, of course, involve seeing episodes again that I’d already seen…but there are a lot of episodes I haven’t seen, and I am very excited about this prospect.

Several years ago I’d purchased a “fan companion” to the show called Curious Goods: Behind the Scenes of Friday the 13th: The Series by a USC film school graduate named Alyse Wax, which I had never gotten around to reading. Since I am now watching the series again, in order, I thought I should dig the book out and consult with it during the watch. I had to look everywhere for it before finding it, but the great thing about it was finding a bunch of other books I’d forgotten I had on hand and need to either reread or read for the first time; I have plenty of things to keep me occupied and therefore should never be truly bored. I reread the introduction to the book again yesterday, and I am looking forward to reading along while I watch! How fun is that going to be?

The Saints won yesterday in overtime, which was a lovely counter to the humiliatingly embarrassing LSU loss to Alabama on Saturday (BeBest), but I spent most of the day doing chores, playing with Sparky, and watching the news, anxious for updates on the Mississippi election. Interesting weekend in Mississippi for the racists, no? Three racist undergraduate skanks are currently under investigation by the school for being racist skanks, and of course, their humiliating home loss to Georgia also drove their entitled racist fan base to throw trash on the field and just be toxic fans in general…and they may wind up with a Black senator. Hotty Toddy, bitches. You can talk shit about LSU and its fanbase all you want, but they never act like that.

Yet theirs is the fanbase that thinks tailgating off fine china and hanging chandeliers in their tents is classy.

Well, I need to get ready for work and heading into the spice mines, so have a great day, Constant Reader, and I will be back again tomorrow morning bright and early. See you then!

His boots can go under my bed anytime—but looks can be deceiving. So many guys who look like this are lousy lays because they just lay there and want to be worshipped…

True to Life

Saturday morning in the Lost Apartment and all is well, at least so far. Yesterday was gorgeous; sunny with some cloud cover, low seventies and no humidity. It’s nice to remember, once again, that going outside isn’t always hellish here in New Orleans. I slept a bit late and feel better physically this morning than I have all week, which is marvelous. Paul had been terribly sick before I went to Baton Rouge last weekend, and this week I had a much milder version of whatever crud he had. DayQuil kept it under control for the most part, but this morning I feel ever so much better and am glad that it’s on the way out. I didn’t do much of anything this week other than tale DayQuil, blow my nose, and joyscroll social media, but reality is beginning to take over for the euphoria again and I have things to get back to work on. There’s a lot of excellent college football today, anchored by LSU-Alabama at 2:30, and there are some other key match-ups today, notably Georgia-Mississippi and Kentucky-Tennessee (among others) so I will probably spend a lot of time in my chair with the games on. I also am going to dip into and out of She Kills by Skip Hollandsworth, while also beginning a revisit of In Cold Blood for Nonfiction November.

Yesterday was pleasant. I got a lot of chores done around here after work, we took Sparky to the vet, and had a nice relaxing, low key day. I watched this week’s reality shows (why is Real Housewives of Orange County still on the air?), and we also started watching the new season of Black Doves, in which Ben Whishaw continues to kill it. Today I am going to just stick around the house and have a low-key kind of day; football games and reading and probably picking up stuff, having stuff delivered, and trying to get the house back under control as well as getting some rest so I can get back to writing tomorrow. I”m going to make a grocery run tomorrow morning, and have some things delivered today so I can make dinner later.

Exciting, am I not?

I also want to work on a newsletter. After the election, I was too caught up in afterglow and possibility that I couldn’t focus on anything else. They’re still counting in both Mississippi and Alaska, and I am really hoping for that wretched Klan bitch Cindy Hyde-Smith to get the karmic bitchslap she so richly deserves. I have several that are close to fruition; one about my short story in Unloaded 3, soon to be released and, I think, only my second publication this year; one about A Streetcar Named Murder; and another in my series about masculinity. I also have some short stories I need to get back to work on, and of course, I need to get back to the book. It is sort of disheartening to know the week was a bust for writing for the most part, but election euphoria and whatever this crud I’ve been fighting off all week had a lot to do with it. At least I didn’t fall behind on my day job duties, thank you Lord and pass the ammunition. I will probably do a lot of scribbling in my journal today, too. I also need to do some other chores around here, too–and honestly don’t feel like doing a fucking thing, which is also an option. It looks to be a gorgeous day outside, so maybe I can take a walk later and get started on building up my stamina again…and I do need to update the to-do diary.

As you can see, all kinds of things for me to get going on today!

There really isn’t much going on to report on, in all honesty. Like I have said repeatedly, I am still in a euphoric state of bliss that started Tuesday night and is only now beginning to wear off. Reading some will help, without question; I am very pleased with how much I read in October; and am looking forward to this nonfiction palate cleanser. I also need to make a grocery list and order some things to be delivered. Getting the apartment cleaned up will help, too. They are dishes to unload, too. One thing I have managed to do lately is get files cleaned up while I am watching things on television.

And on that note, I am going to get cleaned up and get moving on my day. The walk isn’t going to walk itself, and the apartment isn’t going to clean itself, either. Have a great day, Constant Reader, and I will check back in with you again tomorrow morning, okay? GEAUX TIGERS!!

Those legs….

To Turn You On

Thursday and not my last day in the office for the week; I have a meeting tomorrow morning and I am also going to put some hours in at the office once it is over. Sparky is going to the vet tomorrow afternoon, too–huzzah for trimming his nails–but I plan to spend the weekend getting caught up on overdue chores. I didn’t get much done yesterday, as I was tired from staying up too late watching the glorious election returns on Tuesday night, only to wake up to even better news yesterday morning. So, yesterday I spent the day joy-scrolling and replying to MAGA tears with one of those photos of a lovely MAGA couple in their Fuck Your Feelings shirts. Because yes, I am petty and yes, these people need to be fucking trolled off the Internet. That’s me–my drag name would be Petty Davis.

Apparently the “fuck your feelings” people are *checks notes* having a lot of feelings this morning. Who knew MAGA tears were even more delicious than liberal ones? Me, I did, I knew, it was me.

I was worn out yesterday–not just from staying up later than I should have, but from the emotional release. It’s been ten fucking years of existential dread, like an albatross around my neck, and I feel like a weight has been lifted…this feels like 2006, Obama’s election, and Biden’s win times 100. I am sure they are all frantically pointing fingers at each other and tossing around a lot of blame, particularly at the Heritage Foundation and the Federalist Society (sewer princess Meghan McCain is already backpedaling away from MAGA at light speed, for one example), and it may take awhile before the new obstructionist battle plan is in place for them all to parrot without thinking, so this brief respite has been marvelous–as is their complete meltdown. I always thought Fox and others of that ilk were craven manipulators and liars who didn’t believe anything they said; but in the last couple of days I’m starting to think some of them might have actually drank the Flavor-Ade1, too–to which I can only say good, I hope it’s excruciatingly painful for you.

No more pretending about the majority of Americans being MAGA. No more pretending these hateful and destructive policies either work or are popular. No more crowd size boasts.

Finally, the God-Emperor has no clothes.

And I am glad he is still alive. I want him to go on living, alone, lonely and hated and his ego destroyed, knowing he was a complete and utter failure at his entire life. But he got his wish: he will probably be one of the most famous and studied presidents in US History…just not the way he wanted.

Your grave will be a urinal, sir. I hope I live long enough to use it as such.

I don’t think I am going to get a lot done this week, honestly. While I do feel like I am finally breathing fresh air again, I am emotionally drained and exhausted–yet need to rest to be ready to get back to work on the next Louisiana election cycle–I believe we can kick Klandry out of the governor’s mansion, and I think we can ditch the bitch Attorney General as well. FAFO, Louisiana MAGA. And there are so many great games on Saturday, I have to break my routine and come to the office tomorrow, so that day is already messed up for me anyway. I did make some groceries on the way home last night, and have an errand or two on the way home tonight. I did make some progress on the disaster area that is the apartment, and while I am sure I’ll be too tired to do much of anything once I get home this evening, I am going to try to do some things. Sparky also has to go to the vet for his annual check-up and razor-blade trim, and of course it’s bed linen day. I think I am probably just going to make my own way this weekend, and re-center and recalibrate Sunday morning.

One last thing: COME ON MISSISSIPPI!

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Thursday, Constant Reader, and isn’t it marvelous knowing we aren’t waking up to another new fresher hell every morning? Woo-hoo! And see you tomorrow morning!

  1. One of my biggest factual irritations is “drinking the Kool-Ade.” Jones was too cheap and used Flavor-Ade to save a couple of cents per package. I think that detail is both important and telling. ↩︎

While My Heart Is Still Beating

I left work early yesterday because I felt something coming on, and thought it best to come home to try to get ahead of it. Some OTC meds later and I felt much better; so am going to take some of those with me in case, and will mask when I have clients. After work I am going to vote, walking the two blocks to the International School to once again hopefully vote for change in Louisiana. I am cautiously optimistic and not getting my hopes up–this country’s voters have disappointed me too many times in the last twenty-six years to feel confident about anything. The media’s devotion to polling, which has been wrong more than it’s been right this century, really needs to be studied. Somehow everyone has also seemed to have forgotten Nate Silver’s bullshit, and his ass is being treated as reliable again for some reason I don’t know and will probably never understand. And since we have arrived on election day at long last, can we please have a respite from campaigns and money requests for a day or two? I won’t know how this all comes out until tomorrow morning, probably, and depending on what happens will have an impact on my day on Wednesday. I just hope it’s not another hellish J-6 situation…or worse. I will be voting tonight after I get home from work.

I feel much better this morning, thank you for your concern. I brought the DayQuil with me, and yes, I’ll be masking around my clients and co-workers; I don’t want to be Typhoid Greg. I feel fine–no coughing or crud or anything–but better safe than sorry. I’m glad I feel better, and when you have an autoimmune disorder it’s always a bit concerning when you don’t feel well. But I am thinking the heavy rain over the weekend sent my sinuses into overdrive and it all built up until yesterday morning and me feeling like shit. I still have a bit of a tickle in my throat, but I also think that’s from the post-nasal sinus thing.

Sparky doesn’t know the time changed, so he’s trying to wake me up at five every morning, the dear little thing. I don’t get up, of course, but he gets really insistent now when the alarm goes off, so snooze is currently a thing of the past, or at least until his body clock gets reset, and who knows when that will be? He also thought it was dinner time when I got home from work early, so of course, that was a bit of a hassle. He did cuddle in my lap for a while, but when the meds kicked in, he was gone. I did manage to do some chores when I was feeling better, and I made chicken noodle soup for dinner, which also made me feel much better. We started watching a Spanish language show on Netflix, Fate, which is about a cab driver whom a bullfighter decides is his good luck charm, and gets hired on to drive him–but it has to be the cab. It looks interesting, there are only six episodes, and they appear to all be about a half an hour per. Some other shows we like are coming back this week, too, and of course, I have those Friday the 13th the Series DVD’s. There is also a lot of good football this weekend: Missouri-Texas, LSU-Alabama, Ohio State-Oregon, Miami-Notre Dame, Mississippi-Georgia, South Carolina-A&M, and Florida-Oklahoma, so that should make for a tense but fun day. The Saints are also playing on Saturday. I have to come into the office Friday morning for a department meeting, and I’ll probably put a few more hours in while I am here before departing for the day and starting my weekend. I want and need to get back into writing more this week, after not really doing much the last few weeks other than editing, and I also need to find a place to send my story that I wrote for the Bouchercon anthology when I had the deadline incorrect.

A new newsletter went out yesterday; (in which I discuss Tananarive Due’s terrific Mazywood) click on the parenthetical if you’d like to read it.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Hope you have a lovely day, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back tomorrow morning…I’m almost afraid to go to bed tonight because of what tomorrow may bring, but it will have to be faced at some point. Sigh. Till then.

A recent Playgirl Man of the Month, but won’t get banned by the censors. I plan to write about Playgirl someday for the newsletter.

More Than This

Monday and back to the office with me today. Lovely lazy day just recuperating and laying around, doing things when I felt like it, and basically just had a marvelous time being lazy and resting without feeling any guilt, and did feel worn out all day, like my batteries needed recharging. We had an early dinner with friends I’d not seen in almost a decade, if not more–which was marvelous. Paul is in the final stages of whatever crud he had last week, which is an enormous relief, of course. Yesterday just thinking about getting up this morning and my end of the month duties at the office and had no concept of having the energy to do everything–but this morning I feel rested, awake and alert, which is a very good thing. Yesterday was also the first day of Nonfiction November; so I read the introduction and forward to She Kills by Skip Hollandsworth (I keep wanting to write Hollingsworth!), which whetted my appetite to dive into it some more. I also need to get back to work on writing. I plan on working on a short story every week as well as a chapter of the book; it’s ambitious, of course, and probably overly so, but that’s fine. I don’t berate myself anymore when I don’t deliver on my own plans. I’m also disappointed with myself for not getting pictures of Halloween decorations around the city again this year, but…the weather has changed now, so I can start taking my walks in the evenings and mornings of the weekend to try to get my stamina built back up again so I can walk to the gym. I did get my headphones synced with my phone over the weekend, so I can either listen to books, podcasts, or music while I am walking and/or lifting weights, which would be absolutely awesome.

I was saddened, as so many others were, by the death of Sir Patrick Stewart, a brilliant actor and a longtime queer ally. One of my favorite Stewart performances will always be his supporting turn in Jeffrey, a rom-com-in-the-time-of-AIDS movie; he literally stole the film right out from under his co-stars effortlessly. After the movie came out, people were asking him, fairly regularly, if he were gay and his response was perfect: Why does nobody ask me if I am really a starship captain? I always enjoyed him in everything he did; oh, those classically trained British actors are so remarkable, aren’t they?

Saturday night I really didn’t pay much attention to the college games that were on and didn’t watch any of them, and am not actually sure who all won and who all lost–or who they actually played. I do know, however, that USC beat Ohio State. Aw, what a shame. I blame Vivek Ramaswamy. The Saints were off for the weekend, but this coming weekend is Alabama-LSU in Baton Rouge, which is always daunting. LSU has only beaten Alabama four times since 2008–twice in Baton Rouge, twice in Tuscaloosa, so home field advantage doesn’t really apply in this instance. There aren’t many teams who play Alabama regularly and have a winning record against them; the few teams that do have winning records against the Tide usually only play them in the post-season, and even amongst those there aren’t many. I am just hoping for a good game, honestly. I need to see who else is playing this weekend, too.

I cannot wait for this election to be over because I am so sick to death of campaigns and elections…will we even get a day respite before the 2028 campaigns start? Please note: elections were never supposed to be a billion dollar plus industry. a lot of people make a lot of money off campaigns, which just adds to the utter corruption of the entire process; US politics has become an embarrassment of bribes, corruption, and dirty back room double-dealing. The system has alwys been a morass od bigotry, slander, and smears masquerading as policy–and our uneducated voters will decide to vote based on emotion rather than careful consideration every single time. Imagine being so racist and ignorant that you will vote for inflation, higher gas and energy prices, and a Nazi-like purge of brown people from this country happily because you’re so arrogant you think none of it will blow back on you?

And man, did Michigan dodge a bullet with that piece of shit Haley Stevens or what? Congratulations, you ignorant bitch, for accomplishing something I didn’t think possible: uniting the Democrats behind a Muslim. When even Chuck Schumer calls you out for Islamophobia–girl, you done fucked up in the worst possible way, and blew up any chance of a political future for yourself. People are speculating she wants to torpedo el-Sayed so she can run again against Mike Rogers when he comes up for reelection; that’s never going to happen now, bitch. You can run against him in the Republican primary if he somehow manages to win this race, but the only vote you’ll ever get, you skank, in a Democratic primary will be your own. Although she can always try to run against el-Sayed in six years as a Republican, I suppose–but when you’ve exposed yourself to the world and ripped off your mask to show the craven opportunist that was always there. Fuck you and your fiance, bitch, and for the sake of the rest of the world do not breed. Your outsides, while ugly as all fuck, isn’t as ugly as your inside.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Monday, everyone, and of course I will be here again in the morning.

The rape of Persephone by Hades. Art, with titles like this, is why I thought “rape” meant kidnapping when I was growing up…

Follow My Heart

Thursday and my last day in the office for the week. I didn’t sleep well, so I feel a bit off this morning–I’ve kind of have felt weird all week, but last night I figured it out; I keep forgetting that my meds remove my mental anxiety, but my subconscious continues to send anxiety messaging to my body, which reacts…it’s very disconcerting, but not enough to stop taking them, ever. It’s nice not having my mind going into those horrible spirals anymore. Last night, I was very relaxed and comfortable in bed but never felt like I went into a deep sleep and kept waking up. But I don’t feel tired, just off a bit still–identifying why doesn’t solve the problem. I am hoping for a good day before my work at home day/drive to Baton Rouge for author party tomorrow. I plan on going to the party and probably just having a single glass of white wine (if that) and heading back to the hotel to read in bed–I’d love to finish Mazywood before the 31st, but it’s not a big deal if I don’t. See? That would have stressed me out before medication.

We finished watching Below, which really took a turn in the final two episodes I most definitely didn’t see coming. At the time, I was disappointed with the sharp turn it took, but the more I think about it the more I do appreciate it, even if there was kind of a tonal shift in the story. Josh Hartnett has aged beautifully, and he is good as the male lead, an ice harvester trying to scrape out a living for him and his kids on a rough little island off the Newfoundland coast. I was also pleased to see two familiar faces in Charlie Heaton (Stranger Things) and Rohan Campbell (The Hardy Boys). The episodes average about thirty minutes or so; so it can be taken in little bites or all at once in a binge pretty easily.

I also managed to get a newsletter out for Halloween Horror Month, in which I revisited the book version of The Amityville Horror (click on the blue if you want to read it), which actually offended my intelligence on the second read, approximately fifty years after the first. I don’t know what went before my own awareness of these things (I have started saying “I noticed this first” rather than stating something as a fact; because just because I didn’t experience, or was aware of, something doesn’t mean that that it was new when I discovered it for the first time.) I did notice, because my interest was intrigued, by things that cannot be explained, and that seemed to be very prevalent in my second decade. I did always love Ripley’s Believe It or Not on the comics page, and used to buy the book collections…which naturally led me to curiosity about things like Atlantis (whether it was the first time I’d heard of it or not, Atlantis the Lost Continent on the afternoon movie is a film I never forgot), the Bermuda Triangle, UFOs, Area 51–all those marvelous things that popped up into the culture during the 1970s, were all things I explored as a teenager. (It was also the decade that saw a horror revival with Rosemary’s Baby, The Exorcist and The Other.)

I also spend some time yesterday working on a newsletter essay about the trap of masculinity and rigid definitions of this; I’ve always felt that, since I am a man, anything I do is therefore masculine by definition. Maybe not in the way society likes to define masculinity, at any rate, but who made those rules, why are they so restrictive, and why does raising a son seem to mean breaking his spirit and turning him into an emotionally stunted, distant person? I often wonder–and I don’t have the time to investigate–I can’t research everything I think is interesting, after all–if men are performing masculinity for approval (which means you ain’t no alpha, bitch boi) rather than actually feeling it…it could explain a lot about the so-called “masculinity crisis.” I also wonder if an infant with no socializing as of yet will actually be drawn to toys and colors that are traditionally gendered, rigidly. (No straight man would be caught wearing pink, at least not until the 80s, without suspicion, is another example of this idiocy. (One of the reasons I want to revisit Larry McMurtry’s The Last Picture Show is because a lot of the boys’ behavior is just that, a performance, especially from Sonny. There’s also some queer content in the book which especially needs revisiting (remember, McMurtry co-wrote the screenplay for Brokeback Mountain).

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely day, Constant Reader, and I will chat with you again tomorrow morning once Sparky gets me out of bed. Till then!

The Sipsey River bottoms on the old family farm in Alabama. It was high because there had been a lot of rain.

Keep On Loving You

Here we are on Sunday morning and I stayed in bed far too late for me to have any reason to. I didn’t do a whole hell of a lot–there were a lot of great games to watch yesterday; college football is insane this season (more on that later)–besides some chores and brainstorming, but it was, over all, an absolutely lovely day around here. I was dragging a little bit, not going to lie, but by eleven I was parked in my easy chair while Paul departed to workout with his trainer and then ride the bike at the gym, watching the LSU game with Sparky curled up in my lap, which is where he stayed all day. One time when I got up he wouldn’t move, and so I had to carry him to get something to drink, grumbling the entire way, and by the time we were back in the chair, he grumbled, made a circle, and went back to a deep, dreaming sleep so he made interesting noises and twitched every now and then.

Pets are pretty amazing, and I will never understand why people don’t like cats. Sparky is always waiting in my workspace windows when I comehome from work, and once he sees me he jumps down and runs to the front door. It’s so nice, and then he always wants me to pick him up and cuddle with him before he wants down and to eat, and then he camps out in my lap. All of our cats have been affectionate.

The Saints are playing in Paris, even as I type this, but it just feels wrong to be watching a football game over breakfast and coffee.

I did do some brainstorming yesterday for some stories I am working on, and then found all the notes I made for my essay about The Only One Left …and of course didn’t include any of the points and comparisons I had wanted to, which is maddening because they were all smart and insightful. Heavy heaving sigh. Oh, well, can probably use them again at another time, talking about Gothics–because I will most certainly write more about Gothics and my theories about them. I love educating myself–and I no longer worry if my “insights” are nothing new. I am not an academic and all my education in genres and so forth are mostly self-education…I certainly have learned more by reading on my own than I ever did in any class. I also realize that fear was part of the anxiety I no longer feel, which is another lovely discovery I’ve made since my better living through pharmaceuticals move several years ago.

As I mentioned earlier, college football was a bit crazy yesterday. The renewal of the Tiger Bowl was disappointing. I hate rooting against Auburn, but I do always appreciate it when it’s a great game–and there have been some absolutely amazing games in the series…but LSU was up 31-10 half-time, and the final score ws 38-17. Sure, I’m glad LSU won, but…Auburn was flat after their huge win over Georgia last weekend. I don’t know that LSU was that much better than Auburn, but it looked like LSU played well…but that’s just the way things are in college football, and the SEC in particular, these days. South Carolina upset Tennessee in a thriller; UCF beat BYU in a thriller a week after BYU upset Notre Dame; Alabama looked like they were in trouble with Texas A&M before putting them away; and the capper on the night was Texas’ upset over Mississippi (thanks for hooking them, Horns!).

I also finished my newsletter about Peter Straub’s Shadowland, which I enjoyed very much (You can click here to read it!). Peter Straub is just one of those writers, you know? Everything is good. I remember his Blue Rose trilogy, but I don’t remember much about it other than I didn’t really understand it? I should definitely go back and reread those–Koko, Mystery and there’s one other. I have so much rereading to do!

I’ve ordered some groceries to be delivered, and I am going to go read more of Mazywood once I post this; I have some more newsletters to work on as well as some editing and writing. I also have some chores to try to get around to…so I should probably head into the spice mines and finish this up, no? I’ll be back tomorrow morning as I return to work for a new week…so I will see you again then, and thanks for stopping by!

Statues of the Egyptian lion-headed goddess Sekhmet

Let’s Go

I like the nightlife baby!

Sorry, had a The Cars moment. Their music, by the way, still holds up.

So it’s Saturday morning in the Lost Apartment, LSU is playing Auburn at eleven, and most likely will have some things delivered. I’ll probably do chores while the games play; after that I’ll do stuff while switching between Texas A&M-Alabama and Tennessee-South Carolina. This evening, I’ll hate Mississippi even more for making me root for Texas again this season. (Don’t worry, friends who are UT fans, with all the SEC weirdness going on these days I will definitely be rooting for the Longhorns again, more than once, before the season ends. Realignment has changed things for sure; more on that at another time–I know most of y’all couldn’t give less of a fuck about college football, and I appreciate your not minding and bearing with me on it.) I feel good and rested this morning, and once this is posted, I’ll move to my easy chair where I’ll read before the games. I also want to get some of my newsletters worked on, another one sent out, and I definitely want to finish Mazywood, which is superb. I also need to do some research, work on a short story or two, and edit the book so I can move on to writing the next chapter. Bouchercon is going on right now, but I have no FOMO–I’m getting used to not attending things, and I really don’t miss it. Don’t get me wrong, most of my conference experiences in the crime fiction world have been pleasant, at least for the last twelve years or so, at any rate.

Yesterday was a good, if weird, day. I was a bit off yesterday for some reason I can’t quite understand; I took the wrong exit off the interstate for Costco, for one, and construction on the way back meant a detour to the Earhart which…actually wasn’t a bad way to come home from Costco. We spent over four hundred dollars, but didn’t seem to get all that much, either. I forgot to turn the dishwasher on before bed. I forgot about finishing the bed linens , so wasn’t able to go to bed until that was all done–can’t go to bed without sheets on it, can I? We finished The Diplomat last night, which is excellent, and then AHS:13, which is a hot mess but kind of fun; I actually enjoyed last night’s episode–about Madison’s falling in love with Satan’s son–but none of it makes any real sense; it’s like they threw in everything including the kitchen sink. We also watched this week’s Traitors (spoiler: they murdered one of the hot boys, so no more shower shots of him lathering his glistening wet muscles), which was very fun. I did run my errands yesterday morning, so I don’t have any to do today–I have to order things to be delivered, but that’s not a big deal–and I’ll probably run one tomorrow morning, which is fine.

I am loving this chillier weather; it was nice not getting drenched with sweat and overheating yesterday on the Costco trip, which is probably why I was finding it so exhausting to go. I love that I am feeling better and better with every passing day; sixty-five isn’t that bad. I thought how bad i felt was going to be the new normal (“you’re just getting older”–fuck you, quack doctor, if it were up to you I’d be dead now, you miserable homophobic prick), but now that I am healthier and recovering more all the time, this sixties thing isn’t so terrible. I like the lack of fucks I have now, and I am very glad that treating my anxiety has released me from the horrors of everyone has to like me I can’t have anyone dislike me and now? I couldn’t care less if people like me or not. I have very dear friends that I cherish, and I know a lot of people whose company I enjoy being in–but my default is always going to be solitude (Paul doesn’t count) and while I do marvel at how different my life could have been had I gotten it treated before, I don’t want any do-overs or anything. It is amazing how much my anxiety drove me to bad behavior on occasion, but at least now I understand it. Doesn’t excuse me behaving in a manner of which I am not proud, but it’s nice to know why. That dichotomy of not caring whether I am “popular” while having deep-rooted anxiety about not being liked created some intense cognitive dissonance–and I am hoping that isn’t going to be an issue anymore.

And on that note, I am going to get some cereal and another cup of coffee and head into ye olde Mines d’Spice. Have a happy Saturday, and above all else, GEAUX TIGERS!

Shoo Be Doo

Thursday and my last day in the office for the week. Tonight I am having dinner with a friend at Le Petit Grocery uptown, which is a marvelous place to eat, and how much do I love having a lovely meal with a good friend? I love it a lot, thank you for asking. I’m not completely agoraphobic, but I do prefer being home to being most places. Dad admitted when I was in Kentucky that he doesn’t have groceries delivered because it gets him out of the house…and I had to admit that not leaving the house ever sounds pretty amazing to me, which is probably not a good thing. I am solitary by nature (my lifelong dream has always been to live alone–Paul is probably the only person I could live with, and I do miss him when he’s gone, so that’s something, right?), and really, I never minded not being popular and I didn’t really miss it, either, other than having a sense that I was supposed to want those things. I would have been fine had I not been bullied, you know? That was what made school miserable for me–so why would I ever want to be around people in general? You can never go wrong never completely trusting straight people, harsh as that sounds, because they’ll almost always disappoint you1–and I’m not that trusting of gay white males, either. I have also found that standing with, and listening to (most) Black women will never steer you wrong2.

I also sent out a newsletter yesterday, about Riley Sager’s delightful The Only One Left, and you can click on the title there to read it, if you so desire. It’s really not horror–it’s a thriller, first and foremost–but as a Gothic, I feel like it can be considered “light horror,” at least. There are so many novels that straddle the line between crime and horror, and Gothic suspense definitely can go either way; Victoria Holt’s ghost monk in Kirkland Revels was absolutely terrifying and scary. I love that Gothic mood of tightly wound tension kept in check but keeps building until it explodes.

I don’t feel tired this morning, and I got out of bed at six promptly, having been already awake since five thirty. I was awake when Sparky jumped into the bed this morning, curling up at my feet to wait for the alarm. My joints don’t ache and my legs don’t feel tired, which is a big win, as it not being mentally tired. I clearly needed the time off, didn’t I? Tomorrow I have work at home chores to do, and some errands to run, but it should be a good day. I found another anthology I want to write a story for, and when talking about it with a friend3, he gave me an absolutely brilliant concept for the story, which I am kind of excited about writing, and now I have to come up with a working title, at the very least. I may even make it a Scotty Bradley story, if I can make it work that way. My first ever Scotty short story! I wrote a Chanse short story for the collection I did a few (probably more; I have no concept of times past) years ago, but no Scotty, ever. Maybe now that’s he’s older and not a bar slut anymore? I do want to get a lot of writing done this weekend, wish me luck. I started working on another short story for another anthology–well, finishing one that’s been moldering in the files for years, but fits a call I saw.

The Tiger Bowl (LSU-Auburn) is this weekend, and it’s always a mixed bag for me. I hate for either team to lose, so inevitably I just hope for a good game. Conference realignment killed the rivalry, since they now no longer play every year, which makes football season a little easier for me, but Auburn has rotated onto LSU’s schedule, and this year the game is at 11 in the morning and is at Jordan-Hare. I suspect when the time for the game to air was decided, no one dreamed both teams would be ranked and have the same record–or that Auburn would pull off the big upset at Georgia last weekend. I do like it–although it feels weird–when LSU is finished playing by three, because the rest of the games don’t really require watching; I usually watch games until the LSU game is over, and whatever is on after that isn’t as important to me to watch. I usually do–for example, was really glad to have watched BYU-Notre Dame last week4. I probably should check the TV schedule; I know Mississippi is at Texas (and damn them for making me root for Texas again), and I think both Missouri and Kentucky have a tough row to hoe. (Correction: Kentucky plays Vanderbilt, and Missouri has a bye.) I’ll probably have the Alabama-A&M game on while I do other things.

And on that note, I am going to head into the spice mines. Have a marvelous Thursday, and I will check in with you again tomorrow morning on Work-at-Home Friday. See you then!

This is the ad for Peachy Clean, a gummy that helps you clean out before being penetrated. I am simply amazed at how small his waist is.
  1. I cherish my straight friends. I cherish all of my actual friends, to be honest. I always make it sound like I don’t have any, which isn’t true. But it’s also true that I am not very social, and getting less so all the time. ↩︎
  2. Then there’s the Candace Owens types. We don’t talk about them. ↩︎
  3. See? I do have friends. ↩︎
  4. My family can’t be the only ones who watch Notre Dame games hoping to see them lose, can we? ↩︎