Monday morning and up too early for PT before work. Heavy sigh. My body aches this morning–my back is especially tight–which means today will be exhausting. It’s a paperwork/admin day anyway–unless I have to cover for someone–and it’s also terribly cold this morning: 41 degrees, to be exact. I collapsed into bed last night somewhere around nine, and was dead to the world in a matter of minutes. It was a good night’s sleep, but I really need to sleep late sometime soon–probably not till this weekend, alas.
I did listen to River Road by Carol Goodman in the car both ways instead of The Drowning Tree, and as always, loved every minute of it. I still had some time left to listen to something, but only had a short time left, so I went ahead and started an Amazon Short by Zakiya Dalila Harris, “His Happy Place”, which was decidedly creepy but also extremely well done. More on both to come, of course, once I’ve gotten back into (what passes for) a normal routine around here. This will probably be a rough, tiring week, but I hope to manage. This weekend I am going to drop off beads and books for donations, and will also hopefully keep working on the apartment.
The coffee is starting to work, which is nice. My brain and body are starting to wake up, which is great. I’m also a bit hungry, so will probably make something to eat before I leave. I have dry noodles at the office to have for lunch, and will take some breakfast snacky things with me. Tomorrow I know we are going to be super-busy in the clinic, which will make for a rough day as well. Fortunately, I enjoy my job! But this weekend will be the hard reset I need, and I just have to make it through this week, which seems to be stretching out far into the distance and is a bit overwhelming to contemplate. I also need to make a grocery list, and today I have to run some errands after I get off work. Tomorrow I’ll make groceries after work, and hopefully I’ll start feeling more settled in. Sparky was a bit stand-offish when I got home yesterday–just mewed at me reproachfully for a while, but after a few hours he forgave me and was very affectionate, obviously having missed me while I was gone. I do kind of feel like our earlier cats were more Paul’s than mine, but Sparky is kind of mine. Of course, I was chair bound for almost three weeks, so he had a place to cuddle and sleep and hang out all day, and now of course no one’s home with him all day. Once the Festivals are over, he’ll be home more and then he and Sparky can bond some more.
So really, my return to normality after Carnival has been pushed back on the calendar because of the trip over the weekend. My word, how my imagination was out of control while driving and staying in Alabama. I remembered stories and ideas I’d forgotten about as well as having more ideas (just what I need, right?) and I also figured out how to finish off my short story collection. I am hoping to get some more stories finished this week and get off to submissions while working and planning my next book. I also have a shit ton of unfinished drafts here I’d like to get done at some point so I can clear out the drafts folder.
I also took a lot of pictures this weekend, to help me describe places when I write about Alabama some more. I also realized that fictionalizing the place where I was born means it doesn’t have to be exactly the same in my work than it is in real life, you know? But that’s also my own stubborn brain trying to make everything correct when it doesn’t have to be, which happens a lot. It’s not like New Orleans, which appears as it is in my work. Corinth County is based on where we’re from, but it’s not the same. I had an idea for something completely new on my way up there; there was an In Cold Blood-kind of slaying there in the late 1960’s; a couple who ran a corner store were brutally killed and robbed, and so when I got home I started looking for information about it on-line (I’ve done this before, but not for a potential writing project; more out of idle curiosity when I was writing Bury Me in Shadows) and interestingly enough, there have been any number of crimes down there over the last forty or so decades; in fact, in one article about another murder I read a quote from someone at a café in town that the county “seems to be cursed”–which I must have read before because that has always been the underlying theme of the fictional county; it’s even in Bury Me in Shadows with people saying “the history of this county is written in blood.” Anyway, I would be interested in writing about that 1967 shooting–either fictionally or as true-crime.
And on that note, I need to get ready for PT and then heading straight to work from there. Have a lovely Monday; I may be back later as one never truly knows.
I’ll be driving back to New Orleans in a little bit, and I am exhausted. I went to bed last night ridiculously early–so early that I don’t want to admit to it publicly. I was very tired when I got here Friday afternoon. I made very good time despite some highway construction stupidity in Mississippi (which is always) but for the most part it was a nice drive and I got up here relatively easily. I stopped to get gas and eat in Toomsuba, which I’ve not done in a long time, and as I feared, once I slowed down and sat down to eat lunch, fatigue set in. I did have PT yesterday morning and left afterwards (and a few errands for good measure) and so, like always, was worn out by the time I got here.
It’s also cold here, which is hard for me to get used to as I haven’t been here during the winter very often in my life, so I always think of home as being hot and humid and muggy and miserable (going to Murder in the Magic City and Murder on the Menu doesn’t count because that doesn’t involve my kin in any way). It was bitterly cold here today as we drove around with Dad showing me places from his and my childhood. We went down to the bottoms of the Sipsey River on what used to be my grandfather’s land, which I hadn’t been to since I was a kid, and the river was really high and rushing quickly because of all the rain. (It rained really hard on Friday night). I actually slept well–which should be an indication of how tired I was, as sleeping in a hotel isn’t usually easy for me. Maybe the new drugs have helped in that regard too? I was very calm as I drove and didn’t feel the pressure of the ticking clock or the need to get there as fast as I could and feeling frustrated and irritated by any delays en route. I do not miss my anxiety in the least.
But, oh the memories that came back to me as we drove past my grandmother’s house (now crumbling and in disrepair) which was an indelible part of my childhood. My grandfather’s house, where my dad was born and raised, is also gone. I was also getting all kinds of ideas, as I always do when I come to or through this part of the state, and started really getting into this idea of a sequel to Bury Me in Shadows, only with Beau Hackworth was the main character. I really do want to write more about Alabama, and several other ideas of stories that are either in progress or exist in a very rough draft. It even occurred to me that I could do an entire collection of short stories set in Alabama. I have already published a couple of them, and I have enough ideas for another collection just for those alone–but I suppose I should finish my next one first before I think about another one, right?
This place will always have a hold on me, and it does worry me a bit that once Dad goes, my last connection to the county and my childhood summers here. And yes, I am aware that I am looking back through the nostalgic rose-colored glasses of sentiment. But summers here–how to describe them? Hot and humid, dragonflies and dirt daubers and five o’clocks, fried baloney sandwiches and buttermilk, sweat tea and cobblers, mosquitoes and watermelon and fresh blackberries from the woods, trips to town to the Piggly Wiggly and the library, long rows of cotton and corn and watermelon vines, red dust and orange clay roads, heat shimmering up from blacktop roads and how everything was so still in the lazy heat of the mid-afternoon, ghost stories and Civil War legends and lost treasure.
I miss my mom. It’s hard to wrap my mind around the idea that she’s buried here, that her remains are there under the ground between the big HERREN headstone and the foot-stone with her name and the dates underneath. It was such a cruel twist of fate for her to go on Valentine’s Day, which was also the anniversary of their first date sixty-six years ago. But in this time since she died I’ve also spent a lot more time with Dad and have gotten closer to him, which is really nice. I’ve also spent more time with the rest of the family, too, which is even nicer.
I know I’ll be exhausted tomorrow and I am starting the day with PT, so I will be really tired when I get home tomorrow night. I guarantee when the weekend rolls around again, I am sleeping as late as I feel like on Saturday, period.
Well, I didn’t get to post this before Dad called my room to get me to come downstairs for breakfast, after which I helped him load up his truck, I loaded my car, and we said our goodbyes and I headed for New Orleans while he made a detour on his way to Kentucky to say goodbye to Mom again.
The drive back to New Orleans was easy, little traffic, and I made it in slightly under four and a half hours, which is excellent time. I was exhausted once I got home, and then Paul and I got caught up on Abbott Elementary, we watched an unsettling documentary (but really, aren’t they all?) and then I started watching Alexander. Paul went upstairs to work, and so I did some chores and then remembered I never posted this. Not really sure what I’ll write about tomorrow morning, if anything at all. It’s going to be a long, tiring day.
And on that note, I am going to go sit in my chair and finish watching Alexander on Netflix. Maybe I can talk about that tomorrow? Have a lovely evening.
I am off to Alabama later this morning. I have PT in a bit, some errands to run, and then home to get cleaned up and hit the road. Carol Goodman’s The Drowning Tree is cued up on Audible. It should be a nice day for a drive, but it’s going to be cold in Alabama. I’ve not taken a nice drive in almost four months, and it’s always good for firing up the creative synapses and loosening the bindings on my imagination. The worst part of the drive for me is always getting out of New Orleans through the East and I am not a fan of the twin spans to the north shore or getting through Slidell. But once you get on I-55 North, it becomes a very relaxing drive through rural Mississippi. Not much traffic other than around the bigger cities (Hattiesburg, Meridian, Laurel) and then you’re in Alabama. Alabama is also beautiful, and of course it always always always makes my mind wander back to my childhood and stories of the county, histories and legends and gossip and tall tales of a time so different it may as well be an another planet.
I submitted a story yesterday, which felt like progress back into my career again. I finished editing it last night and sent it off without a second thought, logged it into my spreadsheet (which didn’t include my last sale, so I included it as well) and started working on my swamp ghost story again. I made some necessary changes (correcting the wrong geography by using a map) and moved on a bit. I am very pleased with the story, but it’s already very very long so there will be some necessary cuts and revisions in future drafts–but again, it felt good to be writing fiction again. I’ve also been getting things written in my journal–lists of things to get for the apartment as well as what stories to write and submit where; what books I want to work and finish this year and when I’m going to write them. It feels good, frankly, to be creative again.
Paul didn’t make it home last night before I went to bed, which was a pity, but I’ll see him before I leave today; he should be up by then I would hope.
I did watch this week’s episode of Feud last night. The performances are amazing, the show’s production values (particularly in set and costume design), but it’s also not a lot of fun to watch someone on a downward self-destructive trajectory, either, particularly when they’re as talented as Capote was. That seemed to be a lot more common place with writers back in the day–they all seemed to have substance abuse problems, but I suppose if you had to type everything…it would eventually drive you to drink.
I also slept really well last night, too. Sparky woke me up by clobbering me in the face this morning, claws out, so I now have a scratch on my nose and another on my cheek. Perfect timing, right? Heavy heaving sigh. I also have some scratches on my shoulders and chest, from him riding on my shoulders. We really do need to learn how to trim his nails. I also caught him last night trying to get on top of the refrigerator again. He really is a mischievous child. Sigh.
And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. I have to leave for PT in a moment, and I need to start getting everything together for the trip. Have a lovely Friday, Constant Reader, and bear with me–I may not be back until Monday.
Thursday morning and I could have slept later for sure, LOL. But I did sleep well, which was nice despite being so rudely interrupted by my alarm. I have to get up early again tomorrow for PT before I drive to Alabama, but now I can listen to The Drowning Tree by Carol Goodman in the car (I started it when I drove to Florida last fall, but the drive was too short for me to finish, sadly), so hurray! And it’s better than driving to Kentucky, which I will be doing later this spring probably (unless airfares dramatically drop by then, which I rather doubt).
Yesterday was a weird day, obviously. I wasn’t feeling like myself yesterday. I didn’t sleep as deeply Tuesday night as I would have liked, and of course, it was probably sublimated grief. I managed to get my work done at the office, saw all my appointments and made groceries on the way home. The store was crowded, of course, because men were there buying flowers and chocolates and things for their significant others, which always makes me snicker to myself. I have a lot of thoughts about Valentine’s Day, most of them negative, but it’s going to always be the anniversary of Mom’s death from now on, and probably best to not talk about the so-called holiday going forward. The day will probably always be melancholy and sad going forward, and I really need to let go of the “stiff upper lip” thing and grieve. I have sublimated a lot of it by worrying about Dad, which I don’t think is all that healthy for me. Something else to work on for this year, I guess.
I was pretty tired when I got home, and so didn’t do a whole lot of anything. I had intended to empty the dishwasher and finish the laundry (it just needs to be folded and put away) but once I sat down, there was no getting back up again other than for necessities. Sparky is a bad influence, of course; all he wants from me when I get home is attention and it’s so easy to give in to quality time with my cat. He’s getting bigger and bigger every day, and getting smarter, too. Remember how I thought he turned the washing machine on by accident? Not an accident. If the washing machine lid is up, he’ll turn it on to watch it fill up with water, and stands on the dryer watching. So, not an accident, but deliberate. He’s also learned how to open the freezer, so I had to blockade the top of the refrigerator so he can’t climb or jump up there from the counter, which explains all those times I’ve found the freezer slightly open and not sealed and just thought need to be better about closing that.
Nope, it’s just Sparky. He is so lucky he’s adorable.
I also woke up this morning to yet another scandal about the Hugo Awards lighting up social media, making me glad my creativity doesn’t loan itself to the writing of science fiction. We do have our blow-ups in the crime fiction community (see Bouchercon 2024), but at least it’s never about the awards. Probably be more on that later–I’ve been itching to write about the Bouchercon 2024 kerfuffle and some other things going on in my corner of publishing, but it’s something that needs a gentle, delicate touch and probably needs to be more of an essay written off-line than an off-the-top of my head blog entry.
We finished season two of Abbott Elementary and started season three last night, which means we’ll be looking for something else to watch. I am intrigued by The New Look, which seems to be bent on portraying Coco Chanel as a resistance heroine, while ignoring her closeness to the Nazi occupation leaders during the actual war. It’s never been proven she was a collaborator, but it definitely tarnished her reputation a bit, and glossing over it doesn’t seem to be the right answer. I could be wrong, but I’ve never cared enough about clothes and fashion or Chanel to bother to read up on it and “do my own research”, as they say all over social media.
And on that note, I am going to get cleaned up and head into the spice mines. Have a great Thurday, Constant Reader, and I’ll chat at you probably later on.
I didn’t sleep well last night, for the first time since getting the new night meds, and as I sit here blearily this morning drinking my coffee it occurs to me that anticipation of this day probably had a lot to do with it.
Yesterday was a nice day. I slept super-well and even a bit late, came downstairs, posted three blog entries throughout the day, and managed to get a lot done. I got some laundry done, cleaned out the sink and ran a load in the dishwasher, straightened up around my desk some, did some filing and organizing, worked on cleaning up computer files, and so came downstairs to a relatively clean kitchen. Huzzah! I also started making lists of things I need to write this year as well as the things I need to write this year. I am also trying to sort my short stories predicated on submission calls I’d like to send work to and establish some kind of timeline (just the remotest suggestion of one, knowing mood and energy levels will affect that and I won’t make all of them) for getting them done and keeping myself on track. I also want to finish this y/a novel that’s been languishing in the files for quite some time, and I even started thinking about Scotty X, Hurricane Party Hustle1 , which was kind of nice, too.
In other words, yesterday was one of the best days I’ve had since the surgery, and today will probably not be one of my better ones. I don’t feel grief-stricken or anything, but it’s still difficult. I’m glad I am meeting Dad in Alabama this weekend2. I feel good now that the caffeine is percolating through my veins and my body is responding to it. I don’t feel fatigued, but then again it’s also still early in the morning and I haven’t yet had the inevitable caffeine crash that will come this afternoon. I do have to make groceries again today (it really never ends), but I think after that I can just go straight home, which is great. Any other errands can wait until after PT on Friday, before I head up north to Alabama. I know I’ll be sad once I am around Dad, and it’ll be hard saying goodbye on Sunday and heading back south, but that is a lot easier than having to live in her house.
And really, I had my mother for sixty-one years. Thank God they started young, right?
We also watched The Last Voyage of the Demeter yesterday afternoon, and it was very entertaining, although it’s very hard to maintain suspense once you know it’s based on the captain’s log entries from Dracula, and the movie opens with the ship wrecked on the shore with no survivors. SPOILER. right? But it was a clever idea–I’m always a fan of expanding the mythology from books that weren’t addressed fully in the book, especially for movies and television (like Castle Rock and Chapelthwaite built out from the Stephen King universe), because I think it’s cool, it doesn’t take away from my enjoyment of the originals, and I’ve done some homage work myself (Timothy).
And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely day!
I’m not sure of this wisdom of this title, honestly. It was supposed to be the fourth Scotty, and I had sent the proposal to my editor the week before Katrina. Certainly, there’s a lot of superstition involved in that kind of thinking, but at the same time I feel kind of squeamish and may come up with something else. ↩︎
I was thinking about my next Alabama book, too. ↩︎
Let me tell you about the very rich. They are different from you and me.
So F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote in his short story “The Rich Boys,” and he was, of course, very right in that observation, and that hasn’t changed in the hundred years since he typed the sentence.
It’s been very clear, since I started watching Capote v. the Swans, that my ignoring aspects of Truman Capote’s personal life because of my own internal distaste to his effeminacy (due to both internalized homophobia and self-loathing) was probably a mistake, and what I really needed to do was take a long hard look at myself as well as examine his life in more detail–I will read the Gerald Clarke biography at some point over the summer–and as such, while I was slightly aware of what happened between him and his swans, I didn’t know of the Ann Woodward involvement. When I bought the below book, I actually thought it was fiction, not true crime. Once I started watching the show, I decided to find the book and read it.
And I enjoyed it.
If Ann Woodward had resolved to live a quiet life in Europe, where she could mourn her late husband, Billy Woodward, far from the madding crowd of the American press, the town of Saint Moritz, high in the Swiss Alps, was certainly an unusual place to retreat to. Renowned for its winter sports, popular as a spa hamlet, and exclusive as a community where entertainers, celebrities, and assorted socialites gathered, Saint Moritzwas a lesser European sun around which various society moons revolved. While summer tourism was popular, it was in winter that this small city shined. Luminaries descended in head-to-toe furs inthe daytime and flashy jewels at night, their diamonds and bangles competing with the glittering snow. In the fall of 1956, Ann Woodward was once again the center of attention as she sat down for dinner at one of Europe’s most elite restaurants.
Back in the United States, those familiar with Ann Woodward–and lately there were few who had not heard of her, whether over lunch at the Colony on New York’s Upper East Side, or on the front pages of tabloids–believed that she had been banished to Europe by her formidable mother-in-law, Elsie Woodward, and was now likely leading a lonely life, without family or friends, much less a lover, with plenty of time to reflect on the transgressions that had forced her into exile.
But as Truman Capote watched her from a table across the restaurant, he saw that she was not the solitary widow they expected. Capote was not only surprised to see her in this particular location, but astonished to see her in the company of a man, which was cause for raised eyebrows, considering she had entered her widowhood by her own hand not so very long ago. But Ann Woodward did not seem rattled by the patrons staring with obvious disdain as she exchanged languid looks with her companion.
(The man with her was none other than Claus von Bülow, who would have his own notoriety splashed across newspaper headlines for decades, and about whose alleged attempts to murder his wealthy heiress wife, was the basis for the film Reversal of Fortune.)
I knew about the Woodward case before, but as I have mentioned numerous times, I didn’t know about Truman Capote’s role in her life and eventual suicide. I remember when Dominick Dunne published his first novel, The Two Mrs. Grenvilles, which was a huge bestseller and was made into a television film with Ann-Margret and Claudette Colbert. It was mentioned that the book was based on a real case, which I assumed was the murder of Zack Smith Reynolds, and the suspicion that his actress/wife Libby Holman might have done it and the tobacco rich Reynolds family covered it all up. (This was the basis for the Robert Wilder novel Written on the Wind, which was filmed–and altered–with Rock Hudson, Lauren Bacall, Robert Stack and Oscar-winner Dorothy Malone.) A few years later I heard about the Woodward case, and realized that it was the basis for Dunne’s book (all of his novels were based on actual murders; Dunne himself kind of took Capote’s métier after Capote’s death, writing about gossip and murder in the world of the rich and powerful; I could do another entry on Dunne’s work, and probably will. I downloaded the ebook of The Two Mrs. Grenvilles, as well as anthologies collecting his true crime reporting for Vanity Fair.) but still had no idea of the connection between Capote and Woodward.
I greatly enjoyed Montillo’s book. She covers the story of the Woodwards, and then moves onto the feud between Capote and Woodward; opening the book with the confrontation that made Capote viciously turn on her and nickname her “Mrs. Bang Bang,” and always talking about how she got away with murder. It’s well written and moves fast; it’s a marvelous and very quick read. If you’re interested in either true crime, Mrs. Woodward, or Capote, I do recommend it. I enjoyed it very much, and Montillo is kind to both of her main characters.
(While in one of the many Capote wormholes I’ve gone down, I’ve started getting an inkling of why Capote turned on his wealthy swans, writing about them so cruelly and viciously in that short story but the time is not right for this discussion–but I totally understand why he did, in terms of this explanation; whether it was true or not remains to be seen.)
Oddly enough, the second Chanse was the fourth novel I published, and therein lies a tale.
Funny how with these earlier books there’s always a story, isn’t it?
So, I sold Murder in the Rue Dauphine to Alyson in September of 1999–but the pub date wasn’t until February 2002. I saw no point in writing a sequel to the book immediately; primarily because there was a nearly two and a half year wait between signing the contract and when they were able to schedule me in. So, I figured I had about a year and a half before I needed to get it finished (everyone told me it would be released a year after the first, and in all honesty, what was the point of writing two or three books while waiting for the first to come out so the others could be scheduled?), and so, with time to spare and a lengthy period of time to “waste”, I decided to start thinking about the “what ifs”–what if the book sells super-well and is popular? What if this isn’t just a one-off standalone and could be turned into a series? The more I thought about it, the more I liked the idea and I liked letting my mind roam.
So, what would I do if the series took off and I needed to write more?
Being creative and full of energy in my late thirties, and thrilled to death that now I wouldn’t die without having published a novel, I reread the manuscript and my analysis of who Chanse was and why he was who he was, and I started mapping out a personal journey for him, that lasted several books. He was a cynical loner, with a couple of friends, and he was still really not adjusted to being gay when the first book opens. He was estranged from his immediate family of younger sister and brother and his parents; he never returned to Cottonwood Wells after leaving for LSU. He’s ashamed of his family but he also knows they will never accept his sexuality, either, so it’s very easy for him to cut them off almost entirely. So, his journey was going to be like that of the main characters of the show Moonlighting; each case would teach himself something about life and himself, and he would grow from the lesson learned in each book. Each book going forward would have a life lesson for him (Rue Dauphine did as well; the lesson was ‘you can’t just trust someone automatically because they’re queer.’); and the one he’d learn in the second book would be about love and trust (the third would be about sacrifice, the fourth would deal with his family, the fifth would have him fall in love with someone else, the sixth would deal with him dealing with losing his best friend to her husband and realizing he does need other people, and the seventh, the swan song for the story, would find him ready to finally commit to someone and live with them, so the series would be seven books long).
Shortly after I sold the first book, I again learned that lesson myself–the case in the first book was inspired by a gay con artist who’d gotten involved with a non-profit here in the city and then blew out of town overnight, having stolen/embezzled a shit ton of money and leaving a pile of debts behind. I had written to a local color magazine for the gay community (I can’t remember the name!) about writing for them. I wrote something for them, and they hired me to be editor of the magazine, as the business was expanding and it would free up the founder to focus on the new directions while I ran the magazine. It was fun, I got to work with a lot of fun new friends, and…then it all blew up in our faces. It was very similar to the earlier situation–a gay con artist blows into town, makes a lot of promises, runs up a lot of debt and then it just blew up completely. Turns out the guy was a con artist with a record of credit card fraud, and he was on the FBI watchlist so yes, I did get interviewed several times by the local office of the FBI.
The second book, which had the working title Murder in the Rue Royal, was based on that story, but I had already been playing around with a stalker storyline, and then I realized how I could cross the two stories into one seamlessly and write the book. I managed to get another first draft finished when a two-book deal to write the Scotty series for Kensington and Alyson dropped the option for the second book, saying “two mystery series with a gay main character in the same city by the same author are too similar to each other”–which I took as a challenge to make Bourbon Street Blues and Scotty as different as I possibly could to prove them wrong. So, the manuscript went into a drawer and I started happily working on Scotty instead…and again, it was a stand-alone that morphed into a series.
This was the Insightoutbooks edition cover of Murder in the Rue St. AnnThis is the new cover the book got when Bild Strokes Books republished the book as an ebook.
I took a streetcar named St. Charles down to Canal, crossed the street and walked down to Royal.
It was eleven o’clock in the morning on one of those splendidly sunny September days that makes you glad to be alive. Taking the streetcar had been a good idea. The long heat of summer had broken, and the air was crisp and in the mid-seventies. The sky was that blue unique to New Orleans, with wispy white clouds scattered across its expanse. There was just a hint of cool moisture in the air. There were a lot of people milling around the sidewalks on Canal— a good sign for the tourist season. Canal used to be the main shopping drag of the city, with huge department stores like Maison Blanche and D. H. Holmes. Those were long gone. They had either gone out of business or fled to the suburbs— now it was mostly hotels, fast food, and Foot Lockers.
There were hopes that putting the Canal streetcar line back in place would stimulate a recovery for the street. So far, all the construction work had simply made the Quarter difficult to get to from uptown. Add to that the chore of trying to find a place to park that would get me a ticket in two hours or cost ten dollars, and I was kind of glad I was having car trouble—the streetcar down and a cab home was very simple.
Not that riding the streetcar didn’t bring its own set of aggravations. If the cars ran on any fixed schedule, I’d never been able to figure it out. You could wait for one for half an hour and then three in a row, all packed to the gills, would show up. The streetcar ostensibly operated as public transportation, but was also a de rigeur tourist attraction. There was no way of telling when you’d be able to catch one with a place to sit. But when you did, it was nice to find a window seat on a sunny day and enjoy the city clacking by.
So, when Alyson chose to drop the Chanse series after I signed with Kensington, Murder in the Rue Royal went back into a drawer, which was fine–it wasn’t a good book–and I moved on with my life. The advance for signing with Kensington paid for our move back to New Orleans from Washington, and moving back here was absolutely worth ending the Chanse series for, seriously. I still didn’t have an agent, but I’d been signed to book contracts by two publishers already, and I figured it might be easier now. We accomplished the move, get our new apartment set up on Sophie B. Wright Place, and started putting our lives back together. I don’t remember the timeline of how it came to be, but I was still working with Alyson on my first and second erotic anthologies (Full Body Contact and FRATSEX), so I was aware when my editor left and a new person, that I knew slightly, moved from assistant editor to senior editor. We were talking on the phone one day about Full Body Contact and she casually mentioned, “I don’t see your second Chanse book here on the schedule, what’s going on?” and I told her the story, “Oh for fuck’s sake, when can you get it done by?” and that became the second contract for Chanse.
So, after finished Jackson Square Jazz and turning it in, I broke out Murder in the Rue Royal (the title had already been changed on the contract to Murder in the Rue St. Ann; my new editor didn’t like the alliteration) from the drawer, blew the dust off it, and reread the manuscript. I looked at my timeline for the series, and saw that this was the one where he was supposed to fuck up his relationship, but I didn’t see it in the manuscript. I reread the first book, thought long and hard about Chanse and who he was at this point in his life and after several long days of musing it hit me, between the eyes: jealousy. Jealousy would be what fucks up his relationship, and it only made more sense to me that Chanse would be the jealous one. Paul had a loving, accepting family and was more secure in and of himself as a gay man and what he wanted out of life. Paul was considering becoming ground-based at the New Orleans airport so he could settle down and have more of a life with Chanse, which also has Chanse very alarmed and makes the jealousy even more intense….so what would be the thing that would set Chanse’s jealousy off? Something from Paul’s past that Chanse didn’t know but finds out about in the worst possible way?
I had had some issues, believe it or not, with stalkers over the years. I had always wanted to write about a stalker, so what if Paul had a stalker? Why would Paul have a stalker? And then it occurred to me that Paul had a past he wasn’t ashamed of, but had never mentioned to Chanse. Not out of a fear that Chanse wouldn’t understand, but mainly because he had no need to tell him because it wasn’t anything dark. He had done some nude modeling when he was younger and he had also done some soft-core wrestling fetish porn, which is where the stalker came from. And what if I could work the con man he’s been hired by was someone Paul knew from the soft-core fetish porn? What if the guy contacted Paul because he’d been getting threatening notes on top of everything else going on in his life? And what if Chanse ran into Paul when he was leaving the con man’s offices, which brings all this out about Paul’s past? What if it shook a jealous, possessive, insecure Chanse enough for them to fight about it? And what if Paul disappears after the con man is murdered?
That was something I could work with, and so I did.
I’ve always called Murder in the Rue St. Ann my most under-appreciated work. By the time the book had come out, Paul had lost his eye to the muggers and we were in recovery mode. I didn’t do much of anything to promote the book (other than a signing at Outwrite in Atlanta, where I signed all of my books until they closed), and it kind of came and went quickly. I felt it was the most unappreciated of all my books. Jackson Square Jazz had come out earlier in the year before Paul was attacked, and it sucked all the oxygen up that year intended for me–it was the Lambda nominee, not Rue St. Ann–and I didn’t pay much attention to the book after it came out, either. The ‘christians” came for me a few months after the book’s release as well, and then Katrina…so yeah, Rue St. Ann got no press, got no attention, but somehow still managed to sell well.
I did have the next one planned, Murder in the Rue St. Claude, which there was a proposal in for, but Alyson was also going through other, deeply concerning changes that showed how little the higher-ups knew about anything, let alone publishing. But that’s a tale for another time, I think.
I woke up to a very cold apartment. The temperature dropped overnight and so, this morning I switched the HVAC from “cool” to “heat” and will wait to shower and so forth until the apartment is warm and toasty. I slept late again today–something I’ve done every say since Friday–but it felt good and every day I’ve felt rested and relaxed. PT was brutal yesterday and so when it was time for Proteus and Orpheus…the combination of exhaustion/fatigue along with the falling temperatures kept me very much inside. The good news is I am doing so well in PT that next week I am graduating to one PT session and one session at my gym on my own–I am trusted and recovered enough to try light weights for the arm and shoulder. This is nice, actually, and the transition from going to PT twice a week to going to the gym twice a week, gradually adding a third day, is going to be awesome. For me, it’s still going to be about fatigue and exhaustion until my stamina returns. And the only way for stamina to return fully is to…well, keep pushing myself, and isn’t that what exercises are about in the first place? It’s going to be a long and tough road, I reckon, but putting it off will only make it harder. And in all honesty, I actually enjoy going to PT. I love the endorphin rush, I love how I feel…it’s just been a while since I’ve felt exercise fatigue. and need to get used to it again.
I also made groceries last night after PT (and picked up the mail) and totally stocked up in a way I haven’t in a while; or it was just the most I’ve spent at the grocery store since my surgery. I also had the gods of Carnival parking looking out for me, as a spot in front of the house was open when I got back. On Orpheus Monday. That’s three times now that the parking gods have blessed me with ease. Paul apparently finished off our last king cake last night (I didn’t buy another, as you aren’t supposed to eat them on or after Ash Wednesday, so it would have had to be completely eaten today, and that’s a nope), which is great. I’ve maintained the weight loss from the surgery so far–my weight now fluctuates between 203 and 208, whereas before it was between 216-220; I’ll take it, thank you very much, and now that the Carnival “excuse” is over, I can’t really justify eating sweets and chips and things except as an occasional treat. I’ve been living on turkey sandwiches now for several weeks, for the most part. And if I start taking walks every night around the neighborhood (or on the nights where I don’t have to run errands), that will also help me sleep better (although that’s not been an issue since my new meds; apparently I slept soundly through a horrific overnight storm, which included hail in some places and flooding rains, on Sunday night). 2024 is my get healthy year, and by that I mean both mentally and physically.
Once I experienced the endorphin crash yesterday I was pretty much down for the day. I did do some cleaning and organizing, but then I crashed into my chair and pretty much stayed there for the rest of the day. I pretty much wasted most of the day, in all honesty, because I was definitely fatigued. I also got a book I’d bought from eBay that I had always wanted to read but never did, and thought of it recently for some reason I cannot recall right now: The Little Wax Doll by Norah Lofts. Ms. Lofts is very much forgotten today and never talked about much, but she was a terrific British mid-century writer who wrote historical novels, occasionally wrote about the romantic lives of royal women (some of her subjects included Eleanor of Aquitaine, Hortense de Beauharnais, Katherine of Aragon, Anne Boleyn, and Isabella of Castile, to name a few) and she also wrote modern stories, usually some sort of suspense novel. The Little Wax Doll is horror/suspense, and it’s kind of irritating that I’ve never read it. I picked it up and read a chapter, was sucked in, and read another few before putting it down. I loved her short story collection of ghost stories (Hauntings: Is There Anybody There?), and look forward to reading this book and talking about Lofts more.
Zulu is passing; one of the fun things about waking up on Fat Tuesday is hearing a parade passing at the corner. When I woke up there was a Whitney Houston remix playing, now I can hear a marching band. I’m kind of glad it’s cold today, because I won’t wax sentimental about staying in on Mardi Gras. It’s not like I wouldn’t collapse with exhaustion by the time we walked to Canal Street anyway.
We also watched some more Abbott Elementary last night, and I have to say I love this show. Everyone in the cast is fantastic and the kids are adorable for the most part. And it’s clever, character driven, and funny as hell.
And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. It’s still a bit cold in there, so the shower will definitely have to wait, but I can get some other things done in the meantime. Have a lovely Tuesday, everyone, and I may be back later.
Lundi Gras, aka Orpheus Monday, and I have taken the day off from work. I have to make groceries and lay in supplies since we’ll be trapped in the neighborhood except for a brief six or seven hour window after Orpheus and before Zulu tomorrow morning. I am up early because of PT at ten this morning, and here’s hoping I can get this done before it’s time for me to fly. It looks like a lovely day out there already, which means a hopefully lovely night for parades. Orpheus is my favorite night parade, mainly because I love Ole Smokey, the Orpheus train float, which is gorgeous. Orpheus also throws a shit ton. I did very well at Iris on Saturday morning, and while my endurance was sapped, I am glad I started going to parades again this year after missing last year. My moods this year are all over the place, since this is when Mom was in hospice last year. The anxiety medication works, of course, but even it isn’t strong enough to conquer grief, I guess.
I worked on the house yesterday a bit but my mind was too fatigued to read, which was a real bummer. I want to write this afternoon after I get home; time really slips through your fingers the older you get. I do need to work on the house some more today as well. We also streamed more of Abbott Elementary, keeping track of the Super Bowl on my phone. I did watch the boring first half, so gladly changed the channel when Paul came downstairs to take a break from working. Ironically, the second half turned out to be a lot more exciting, with the Chiefs winning in overtime 25-22. That sound we all heard last night was MAGA heads exploding. They are still exploding this morning–especially the MAGA christians (lower c deliberate, not a typo)–who’ve decided that the only Black woman in the Kelce suite (Ice Spice), who was wearing an upside down cross, is a Satanist because of it. The horrors! Satanism!
I’m sure it has nothing to do with her being Black. Might as well include a side of racism, right?
Fucking idiots. Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor. Have fun in hell, apostates. I do love calling them on their sanctimony with a Bible verse. 1 Timothy 2:12 is my favorite when they’re women…
But then again, we’ve known they were dangerously stupid morons since 2015, and every day is a new lesson in their dangerous stupidity.
Heavy sigh.
I did do some good scribbling in my cool new journal yesterday as well. It’s always lovely when you’re starting a new journal, with all those fresh and clean pages to fill in, and there’s always a bit of sadness when I finish the old one. This last one was red, and one of the things I need to do either today or tomorrow is transcribe any notes on any story or book or essay that’s written in there that I haven’t already. I think I’ve managed somehow to get everything from the early part of the journal done, but you never know. If I don’t transcribe them, I need to at least put sticky notes on important pages so they are easier for me to find.
My memory continues to suck royally, but the lack of anxiety about it is nice (thank you, new medications!). I’m still trying to adapt to this new world for me; and of course I worry that my lack of anxiety is going to be a problem with motivating myself to write. I don’t think I’ve actually finished anything since the change in meds, but that was also correlated to my surgery and the recovery and the loss of stamina/endurance….which has me wondering how long I’ll be able to last at Orpheus, especially since I’ll be exhausted from PT this morning. I just checked the weather and it’s going to be windy and chilly tonight, in the low 50s, which is also unappealing.
Sigh.
Ah, well. It is what it is, I guess. So I am going to put on my PT clothes, finish my grocery list, and get a little more cleaned up before leaving for my appointment at PhysioFit. I will probably be back later. One never knows.
Sunday morning and everything aches. I went out to Iris yesterday by myself (see previous post) and had a lovely time. It was indeed a gorgeous day and a wonderful reminder of how much I love everything about Carnival–and why I put up with the challenges of living inside the box; because once you are safely home and have parked your car, the convenience of the parades being only a half-block away simply cannot be beat. I got a lovely haul of beads, caught numerous plushies and cups and various other toys–including a super-hero Iris cape–which I gave to the children who were near where I was standing. I also gave away a lot of beads. Despite my gradual exhaustion that came on slowly, it was marvelous and despite having to spend the rest of the day in my easy chair (and still feeling the muscle fatigue this morning) I do not regret going out there, just as I will not regret going out there for Orpheus tomorrow.
I guess the Super Bowl is tonight and I also suppose we may end up watching. I don’t really care about either team that much, honestly; I lived in Kansas so I have a connection to the Chiefs, and I also lived in California and San Francisco is the motherland of my people. Of course, I’ll wind up rooting for Taylor’s boyfriend because it is fun watching the MAGAts lose their minds over this. I also love that “liberals” have now ruined football for them. They can’t root for Taylor’s boyfriend so they’ll root for the queer homeland and Nancy Pelosi’s team?
Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha! Eat shit and die, MAGAts. You don’t own football, either.
Paul stayed up late Friday night working and so he was asleep until shortly after I came in from the parades to find a toy for Sparky on our doorknob from the neighbor ladies; it’s one of those serpentine tunnels for cats, and Sparky loves his already. I think I’m going to get him some more toys once i get the house back into some semblance of order. I am going to try to work on that today and work on some writing as well; I also want to spend some time reading Lina Chern’s book, which I’ll probably do after I finish this post. It’s quite good actually, despite my taking so long to read it–which definitely should not be seen as a criticism of the book, which will get its own entry at some point. Once he got up we watched My Best Friend’s Exorcism on Prime. It’s based on the Grady Hendrix novel, and I do need to read his work. (I really loved Paperbacks from Hell, which was his first book, about the horror boom of the 1970’s thru the early 1990’s.) He’s also openly gay, and the movie is terrific. It’s set in the 1980’s, and while I was a teenager in the 1970’s I was only in my twenties during the 1980’s, so all of it–cultural references, clothes, the music–was also pleasant nostalgia for me. (The 1980’s was a difficult time for me, but I really need to confront that decade and my memories and move past them at some point.)
I then showed Paul the pilot for Abbott Elementary, and we then binged the entire first season and well into the second before it was time for me to call it a night. This show is amazing, and I had always meant for us to get around to it. I’m glad we finally are watching, because the cast is fantastic; the writing is sharp, crisp and funny; and the characters are fun and interesting. Highly recommended, and looking forward to getting back into it before watching the Super Bowl (or not. I can certainly follow the game on social media).
And on that note, I am bringing this to a close. Have a lovely Sunday, Constant Reader, and I’ll catch you again later.