If You Could Read My Mind, Love

Work at home Friday, with a Costco trip after I get my work done! I also have to get some blood work done today (yay! my arms will continue looking hideous before all these bruises heal at long last; good thing I am far too old to be vain anymore), but c’est la vie. Que sera sera, and all of that. I also have to run by the office–I forgot some paperwork I need to work on, and I can’t find my wallet. It’s not in the house and it’s not in the car, so the only place it can be is at the office; although I looked for it there yesterday and couldn’t find it. Sigh.

You may have noticed lately that the images I’ve been adding to my blog so there’s a thumbnail image on social media have not been muscular men. Honestly? I’m kind of bored of them, to be honest. There’s a gradual sameness after a while, and I also recognize that sharing images of impossibly built young men whose entire lives revolve around maintaining that look (that most people can never achieve) may be contributing to some toxic body image issues for some men; I know I spent years trying to be physically perfect and always coming up short because of my own body image issues (there are some pictures of me from when I was really lean that I originally saw and thought, maybe another ten pounds? but now I look at them and scream eat something bitch!). So I thought I’d take a break and start using other images that I find interesting–and I have tons of pictures I’ve taken around New Orleans over the years. Maybe I’ll go back to hot guys again, but right now I’m just not feeling that.

In other exciting news, I’ve been looking for Chapter Ten of the new Scotty and not been finding it anywhere…to the point I was beginning to think maybe I hadn’t written it after all. I FOUND IT YESTERDAY MORNING! Huzzah! I was worried, since I’ve blown the deadline and the extended deadline…which is why I am having a ZOOM meeting with my editor on Sunday. I really need to get back on the writing horse sooner rather than later. But the enforced break caused by my illness again gave me lots of time to think about things, especially my writing career, and also allowed the stirrings of ambition to start rising again. Not a bad thing, really. I have to finish this Scotty and there are two others that I want to finish drafts of by the end of the year–possible, always possible–and I also want to get back into writing short stories.

And reading. I need to get back to reading, and the sooner the better. Saturday I am planning on reading my own manuscript while working on the house, and hopefully I can also dig further into Christa Faust’s The Get Off, which is superb. Some people very kindly sent me books while I was in the hospital and they all look good: Vertigo by Boileau-Jercerac (yes, the basis for the Hitchcock film); They Bloom at Night by Trang Thanh Tran; People of Means by Nancy Johnson; On Spine of Death by Tamera Berry; The Lilac People by Milo Todd; and Disco Witches of Fire Island by Blair Fell; all of which look interesting…so I must get back to reading very intensely!

I made myself a cappuccino this morning and it is very good; the taste for coffee clearly coming back–and if not, hey, I can just make a cappuccino every morning, can’t I? Yum! I feel a bit more rested this morning–Sparky let me sleep an extra hour before becoming obnoxious. But he’s also sleeping with me now, which he didn’t used to do–mainly, I think, to track my movements in case I get up to feed him–but hey, I’ll take it.

If you enjoyed Andor, I highly recommend watching Rogue One again; the series enhances the movie significantly, and makes it even more powerful. Paul and I both agreed, and I love how the TV show flows into the movie and then into Star Wars (I will never call the original anything else). When Star Wars clicks, it’s excellent; unfortunately, it doesn’t always click, alas.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Friday, and I’ll be back on the morrow.

Statue of Pharaoh Khafre, Egyptian Museum

When I Grow Up (To Be a Man)

Thursday! Wasn’t sure I’d make it this far this week, but here I am, wide awake and sipping coffee–the taste for it is coming back; I was rather jittery yesterday morning but am glad the taste is coming back because I’ve really missed my morning coffee. I am also getting stronger every day, which is nice. I walk around the office every hour or so, just to get my legs back under me. Eventually I hope to start walking in the neighborhood, and maybe someday I can get back to the gym to tighten everything back up again–everything just sags now. I was always afraid that I was destined, like all the men in my family, for Southern redneck body; where you look like a potato on tooth picks and have to wear suspenders instead of belts. I was never terribly worried about that outcome, as I have always had big legs and a big ass. NOT ANYMORE. My legs are all scrawny, and my ass is gone. Sigh.

Good thing I’m too old to be vain anymore, right?

I thought we’d finished Andor the other night, but was very delighted that the final three episodes dropped yesterday, so we got to finish it last night. Huzzah! (And yes, there will be more about that at some point.) I loved it–even more than The Mandalorian, which was a very high bar to clear. I think we may rewatch Rogue One tonight–which, outside of the original, is probably my favorite Star Wars movie.

I made a colossal mistake on social media the other day, but I thought it was something that bore making a comment. I read three or four consecutive threads by different “Christians” analyzing and trying to explain why people are atheists, which was kind of amusing because it isn’t that deep: most atheists believe in nothing. You’re born, you live, you die, and that’s it. It’s not about hating God or Jesus or authority. Sure, there are atheists who hate religion…but not the religion itself, but the organized version. So, I just posted It amuses me seeing Christians tie themselves up in knots trying to understand atheists. Why do you care? So, of course, “Christians” came at me with torches and pitchforks, almost every one of them assuming I am an atheist, which isn’t correct. The best description for me is something like agnostic; because I am not arrogant enough to think I know all the answers or what is true or not. It’s not for me to know, right? That’s what always bugs me about the cosplay Christians: the arrogance in their faith and lack of humility–which is kind of what your Lord and Savior was all about? Only two–two!–gave me an actual Christian response: we are taught to worry and try to save lost souls. Everyone else failed. SHOCK, I know. My own relationship with religion is complicated–I was groomed into Christianity since I was a baby by family and society, so I never had a choice until I was older: my ass was parked in a pew twice on Sundays and once on Wednesdays after we moved to the suburbs. I have, as I said, complicated feelings about religion, and I’ve been working on an essay about that very thing for a number of years now, so I may just get back to work on it for my newsletter, which has been dormant since I got sick. (UPDATE: Every day I feel better, but I am still a little on the fatigued side.)

I also realized that I am actually taking a steroid, which has made me a little more on edge than I’ve been since I started taking the anxiety medication. I got really angry in the car on the way home last night, and I was puzzling about it until I remembered, idiot, of course you’re feeling aggressive, you’re taking a steroid, dumbass. I also took some Vitamin b-12 this morning, so I am feeling very good. I still have a bit of a fatigue, but I feel so much better. I also started, of all things, moisturizing. I’ve always had pretty decent skin, but this illness has made it very dry and flaky. I commented on this when I saw my specialist last Monday, and he told me (he’s an older white man, but probably younger than me) that I was “ashy and needed to moisturize”–which took me aback, that he knew what “ashy” meant; I assumed he got it from The Real Housewives of Atlanta–so I asked some of the Black ladies I work with for recommendations (EOS lotion, and original Dove moisturizing soap) and I can’t believe what a difference it has already made! I told Paul I was going to have to come up with a beauty regimen since I’m older and can’t just coast on good skin anymore.

As you can see by the length of this, I am slowly getting better by the day. Huzzah!

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a great day, Constant Reader!

The Pharaoh Akhenaten the Heretic, from the Egyptian Museum

Lean on Me

Wednesday! Wasn’t sure I was going to make it this far, to be honest. But I’ve put in two full days at the office, have started pulling the house back together and making my life orderly again. I need to be orderly in order to feel settled enough to write, for one thing, and when my house is out of order I get antsy and uncomfortable and anxious. The house is filthy, so I am going to spend some time on Saturday cleaning and getting everything back into the kind of order it needs to be in, you know? It makes me feel more content somehow, and trust me, my workspace is an utter disaster area. Sigh. Sparky, of course, is no help.

I was going through my short story files last night, and I really do want to write another New Orleans Sherlock story–“The Adventure of the Voodoo Queen’s Necklace”–about the great hurricane of 1916. That will predate the one I’ve already published (“The Affair of the Purloined Rentboy”), so some things that come out in that story will still be unknown in the new one. I’m getting excited about writing again, which is a very good thing, methinks. I think maybe the illness was kind of the enforced slow down I needed? I was getting pretty burnt out as it was, and sometimes I just need to chill out and let the batteries recharge. I did manage to make it through another full day at work yesterday, but the fatigue level was plenty high by the time I got home from work. But I managed to get things done, which was lovely (again, Sparky was no help at all) and we then settled in to watch Andor–which is amazing. I wanted all of Kyril’s clothes. I’ll probably talk more about that sometime, how much I loved the show, that is.

I was very tired when I got home last night–so tired. I did manage to work on the kitchen and make dinner–always a plus–and yes, I’m fidgety and unable to keep still (I guess I had enough of that in the hospital), so am always getting up to do something. I wasn’t able to read last night, unfortunately, because I am getting back into Christa Faust’s amazing The Get Off (there really is no other creative force and voice in the world than hers), so maybe tonight when I get home. I have to get the mail, too, and was thinking about stopping at Yogurtland, which is near the post office; I love soft serve frozen yogurt and should stop there more often. My appetite is back (with a vengeance) so I don’t think I’ll have too much trouble getting the thirty pounds back on. My skin has also dehydrated and become ashy and flakey, so I am going to have to start using a moisturizer.

This morning’s coffee is tasting better–I was worried I had lost my taste for it this week as it’s been tasting terrible–but I also changed the filter in the Keurig and that probably has helped some on that score. I am feeling a lot better, if still weak and fatigued, which is a relief. I am eating normally again (although as I said, hungry all the time), which is great. I need to eat more healthily, but I’ll worry about that when I start gaining weight again. I’m still under 190, which feels weird and yes, I look very gaunt and skeletal. But there are worse things, and at least I am on the mend at last, right?

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Wednesday, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back tomorrow morning.

David Florentine is a local photographer who takes incredible images of New Orleans. Follow him on social media!

Strong Medicine

It’s so nice to be readjusting back to normalcy–or what passes for it around here.

Sunday when I got home from the hospital, I kind of just took the day off to resettle and start putting the house back together. Sparky was sulky and made sure to let me know he wasn’t happy about me being gone for so long. All I am these days is a food dispenser anyway. But Paul and I settled into the living room and finished The Four Seasons, which we really enjoyed a lot more than we thought we would; caught up on Hacks, which is finally getting back on track this season; The Studio, about which I have some thoughts; and started Andor, which we are really enjoying–no analogies to be drawn from the show to where we are heading in the US, eh? We watched more of it last night; it’s probably my favorite Star Wars show thus far.

My mind has lain fallow for so long, but I did have a book idea while I was in the hospital (like I really need another one?). It’s a good idea, and it’s basically taking a failed manuscript and rebooting it into this one, which I really like the idea of. I also need to write that short story I came up with while sick; looking through my files there are all kinds of things I need to finish. I would like to publish some more short stories, and I have so many that need finishing or revising extensively; I hadn’t realized it had all gotten so out of control. Sigh. But this week is about getting reacclimated to my reality, such as it is, and so I need to buckle down and get to work this weekend. Paul was taking care of all the chores while I was sick, and I am grateful–but now I can’t find anything and I need to get the kitchen back under control. I worked on that a bit last night, but I was exhausted after going back to the office for a full days for the first time in weeks. I’m still a bit wobbly on my feet, so I made sure to take walks around the office every once in a while. Slowly but surely, right?

Sparky the Starving got me up just before six this morning, but on the other hand I was able to load the dishwasher and fold a load of clothes–which I won’t have to do after work tonight (huzzah!); but I noticed last night while we were watching Andor that I kept getting up to do things–which I hadn’t been doing since I got sick. So I am getting back to myself, too. (I can never just sit still and watch the TV without getting up to do something periodically.) I also have a ZOOM call scheduled with my editor this weekend so I should be getting back on track with the writing again soon. Fingers crossed!

I need to make a to-do list. And I seem to have lost my taste for coffee, which is very weird. I’ll be trying to get that back for sure!

And now it’s off to the spice mines. Have a great Tuesday, Constant Reader!

Help Me Rhonda

Well, I got up late this morning and I don’t feel the least bit sorry or shamed at my sloth-like behavior this morning. I feel rested–I slept very well, thank you very much–and am up for a lovely day today. Bouchercon is in Nashville this upcoming week, and I am sure I will be terribly envious when I see the posts and pictures that will start appearing on my social media soon. It’s also Southern Decadence that same weekend, an odd confluence of things I really (or used to) enjoy. Years ago that would have been a very difficult choice to make; now, I am not doing either.

Sparky is feeling rambunctious this morning; he just tipped the recycling over and if I look over at the can, all I can see is his tail sticking out amidst the clean, rinsed out plastic bottles now scattered over the floor.

I had a good day yesterday. I got my work-at-home duties done, then ran my errands and tried to get the house back under control. I was also a bit lazy about everything, too. Paul stayed at the office late last night so I rewatched some old movies I love (Star Wars, Body Heat) which were as much fun as ever–although I’ll never understand why Body Heat wasn’t nominated for any Oscars, especially for Kathleen Turner (on the other hand, she was only nominated once, which was a crime and a definite oversight, and the film she was nominated for was not one of her best). That was kind of nice, actually; I may watch another movie this afternoon while Paul is off doing whatever it is he does on Saturdays (trainer, gym, office), something old and classic that I’ve never seen; or maybe some wonderful old noir that I’ve already seen, like The Strange Love of Martha Ivers or In a Lonely Place. Both are marvelous, and both are definitely worth watching again.1

Today I am going to run a box of books over to the library sale, pick up the mail, and stop at the Fresh Market to get a few things for the weekend (fresh meat, gourmet jelly beans to which I am now horribly addicted, maybe some veggies),and then tomorrow I am going to go to the gym in the morning and then spend the rest of the day at home. I’ve decided to make groceries on the way home from work on Monday, and I want to read and clean and maybe even write today (madness, right?). I’ve been thinking about the next Scotty, and may start working on that today. I did make a to-do list that I need to check, and I know I wanted to get some of the boxes down from the tops of the cabinets and maybe even a box out of the attic, go through them, and decide what to do with the contents. I also still have a drawer in the filing cabinet to organize–and the entire cabinet needs to be alphabetized; I used to try to separate files by what their purpose was, but I think I am just going to merge it all into one big alphabetized cabinet and be done with it; it will certainly make finding things easier.

And God knows, making things easier to find for me is a definite plus.

And on that note, I think I’ll head into the spice mines. Have a lovely Saturday, Constant Reader, and since my day plans are so amorphous, I may be back later. It depends on how lazy I am feeling today!

  1. Although thinking about Kathleen Turner has me thinking about rewatching Romancing the Stone, which is one of my favorite movies of the 1980s. ↩︎

The Girl I Met Somewhere

Saturday morning and how are you, Constant Reader?

My work at home day was lovely, although I allowed nonsense to get under my skin yesterday. I am so over everything these days, you know? Just tired of the endless stupidity and tired of always being Cassandra, never listened to but inevitably correct in the end. It’s out of my control, people are going to fiddle while Rome burns, and fifty years from now people will look back and wonder, what happened? I just need to focus on me and getting through everything, and the best and easiest thing to do is focus on my work.

I can never go wrong by focusing on my work.

I still have the occasional doubts, of course; that’s never going to change, but at least the medications have calmed it down to something I can reasonably handle without spiraling.I am a good writer, this book is going to be terrific and a complete departure for me, and that excites me, quite a bit. I did get some chores done, too, and then after everything was done and it was time, we watched the season premiere of The Serpent Queen (well done, and very wise to do a time jump after the last season1) before getting back into Outer Range, which is much better in the second season and a lot more interesting. We also got caught up on The Acolyte; Paul still didn’t care for it, but I think it got better from episode four on. I also had my journal in my lap and was scribbling madly away in it all evening–focusing on the next few chapters of the book, fleshing out a bit more what’s going on in his new apartment and him getting to start his new life in New Orleans, and starting to feel free for the first time in his life; free to be whomever he wanted to be, and comfortable at last in his own skin. I also loosely sketched out the next chapter after that as well–which is very pleasing. I also had some other ideas while scribbling, so there was that, too. I also managed to get all my angst about the future of the world scribbled out in there, so I should be good for at least a little while here. It felt somehow more freeing to write it all out in longhand, my beautiful cursive2, and so maybe that’s what I should do–get the journal out when I am tempted to vent here and probably shouldn’t. I just get so angry when people literally forget that my life and my rights hang in the balance for every election, and seeing people who will be fine no matter the outcome being so fucking flippant about it is enraging.

So much godly concern for the welfare of others there, isn’t there?

Today I slept in a bit. I went back to bed after Sparky got me up for food at seven, and stayed there for another two hours. I don’t think I am leaving the house today for anything, but I definitely need to do some things around here. I want to write this weekend, if it kills me (sometimes I wonder), and I also want to finish reading my book. The fact that it’s taking so long isn’t an indication of the quality of the book–which is superb–it’s just my mind hasn’t been in a reading phase lately and I have to just go along with it and start reading when my mind is ready. I’m going to try another hour today and see if that leads me to break through the reading obstruction in my brain. I do not like that I can’t read while I am writing these days, which I’ve always been able to do before. Maybe it’s an age brain thing, I don’t know…but this getting older thing is definitely for the birds. I am not very fond of it, honestly.

There’s a mess in my kitchen this morning I need to clean up, too. I really have to stop letting things slide until the weekend; it’s so much easier to clean as you go rather than just keep going and letting the messes to stack and grow until I feel like I have the “time” to get it all caught up, which is dumb as it never takes very long to do, really.

I’m very interesting this morning, aren’t I?

We’re in a heat advisory yet again until seven this evening, which is another reason I don’t want to leave the house today. I’m sure we’ll be in one tomorrow morning, too–but I can go make groceries long before the sweltering really and truly begins. Which means making a list–which I can do this morning. I also need to make a to-do list, and take a look at my calendar to see if there are any short story calls I want to submit to at the end of the month (or next month). I also really need to get back into actually writing, even if what I write isn’t very good because it’s never very good the first time around. Why do we always forget what it’s like to write a book, about how that first draft inevitably will convince you that you don’t know how to write anything and you were stupid to ever believe you could and it was always just a matter of time till the drive to write finally became merely a path to write and the talent and creativity (such as they were) dried up without me knowing it? Every. Single. Time.

Or maybe it’s just me. Who knows?

And on that note, I am going to finish this and head into the spice mines. I am going to clean the dishes and run the dishwasher, get cleaned up and get this mess organized and make that to-do list and dive into the next chapter I am working on. I’ll probably be back later; there are a couple of posts that are almost finished and I should get them done this weekend and posted. Have a great rest of your Saturday!

Screenshot
  1. Because we’re getting to the Wars of Religion, and that’s really the most interesting part of her life. ↩︎
  2. I have the loveliest handwriting. I get compliments on it all the time. ↩︎

Go West

I was never a fan of Westerns.

They were everywhere when I was growing up—movies and television shows—and my father has been a lifelong fan, so whenever there was a Western on TV, our set was tuned to it. Gunsmoke, Bonanza, The Rifleman—you name it, we watched it. Looking back, my dislike of Westerns was rooted in several things: toxic masculinity, racist depictions of indigenous peoples, and how entertainment in this genre was primarily used to create a mythological portrait of the settling (colonizing) of this continent and make it seem as though Europeans were doing the right thing (even using religion) even though they really weren’t. I never saw the natives as villains, and I didn’t like how easily Westerns picked up the trope of heroic white people and savage natives. Even as a child I could see it was all bullshit and I didn’t buy into it. I was about eleven or twelve when indigenous people occupied the massacre site at Wounded Knee, bringing attention to those false narratives and trying to change what was then culturally-accepted racist viewpoints on the indigenous Americans.

Look at the words used for the indigenous people–“savages”, “redskins”, “braves”, etc.; all dehumanizing and differentiating; “they are not like us so have no rights or privileges and we need to kill them all” was pretty much the US government’s policy to the natives.

Many sports teams still perpetuate this—how many teams still used these offensive names until recently? How many still do? And how upset do people get when those names are changed?

Anyway, I also mentioned in passing on another post that I’d like to explore Western tropes and why I’ve never been terribly interested in them as a genre. When I was in Kentucky the last time visiting Dad some movie channel was having a John Wayne film festival, which kind of made my heart sink. I’ve never really been much of a John Wayne fan (although I do love both True Grit and Rooster Cogburn) and generally avoid his films. The first movie was Hondo, with Geraldine Page (of all people; I wonder what she thought of the experience), and you know, I actually enjoyed it…and it made me think maybe I should revisit John Wayne and check out some of his other, better films. But Christa Faust, who is one of my favorite people in this community, commented she’d love to hear my thoughts on Westerns and their tropes.

She also turned me on to this:

If you aren’t aware of Christa Faust and her work by now, you really should be ashamed of yourself.

Redemption is an amazing Western graphic novel she wrote, and I very happily downloaded it as soon as she let me know of its existence. It also made me recognize and understand my own comics-fandom to a degree, too, and I may need to reevaluate that and explore it. I had thought about doing a Pride post about comic books and super-heroes, but it might need to be a longer form personal essay. Anyway, I don’t read enough graphic novels. I’d known that Christa had done scripts for comics before, but it never occurred to me that I should read them as well as be supportive of my friends who create this way. It is just another form of writing, really.

Christa is one of my favorite writers, and Money Shot remains to this day one of my favorite American noir novels. She’s also one of my favorite people; I love just sitting around shooting the shit with her.

And what she does with Redemption is absolute feminist magic.

You see, the thing about Western tropes is they can often be adapted to other genres–including literary (Lonesome Dove is my father’s favorite novel)–and the first Star Wars movie (I will never call it anything other than Star Wars) borrowed heavily from Westerns, as does The Mandalorian. You can see the influence of Westerns on pop culture almost everywhere you look, really (and really, Western tropes are often influenced by medieval tales of lone knights and paladin, which in turn were influenced by Greek mythology), and Redemption isn’t a classic Western set in the 1800’s; this Old West is the result of some kind of apocalyptic happening, with the end result that the town of Redemption has walled itself off from the rest of the world (for their own safety) and is being run by your typical right-wing doom-and-gloom Christian type, who uses God and the Bible for control rather than for inspiration. The town’s doctor, who is not only a Latina woman but a fierce feminist, has been tried and convicted for providing an abortion to a woman whose child died in the womb and was endangering her life.

She has also been sentenced to death.

If you are seeing parallels between this and our modern world, well, I am pretty fucking sure that’s entirely intentional.

The doctor’s daughter’s only hope to save her mother is to find a legendary gunslinger called the Butcher–who had a past with the doctor when they were young. No one is even sure if the Butcher is real, or if she’s merely a legend.

And in the character of the Butcher, Faust sets Westerns on their ear by taking the typical closed-mouth gunslinger (think Clint Eastwood in all those movies about the Man with No Name) and made her a woman, but without stripping any of the gender expectations for men in Westerns. She’s old, she’s tired, and she’s done with bullshit–but she can still outdraw and outshoot any and every man she runs up against.

The art by Mike Deodato is also incredible.

Highly recommended; and again, check out her other work if you’re not familiar with it. You can thank me later.

Sylvia’s Mother

Thursday last day in the office blog, and how are you this morning? I slept really well last night again, and am a bit groggy with my coffee thus far but things are starting to clear up, which is lovely. Yesterday was a pretty decent day. I was tired when I get off work last night–I actually had to do walk-in testing yesterday as the clinic was slow, and I’d gotten so used to my regular clinic clients that I’d forgotten what it was like to do that, and it was a bit draining. I think that was because I was out of practice with it? Anyway, I ran some errands after work (my vacuum arrived!) and I also picked up my copy of John Copenhaver’s new book, Hall of Mirrors, which is a sequel to The Savage Kind, which I really enjoyed. Paul was late getting home, and of course Sparky was a terror last night. He turned off the power cord to the wifi, and took me a while to figure out that he’d committed such an egregious sin. Sigh. I even reset the modem. Gotta love a Big Energy Kitten.

I was also delighted to see a list of “must-read” queer crime novels for Pride Month, compiled by John Copenhaver, which included me and my Bury Me in Shadows, which was a lovely and delightful surprise. You can read that here. It’s a very impressive list to be included on, and I was enormously flattered and got a bit of an ego boost from it, in all honesty, and it kind of felt good. Writers live in so much of a vacuum, for the most part, and get so many blows–and those are what we remember–that when something nice like that happens, it’s always a delightful surprise and it makes my day. God, what amazing books I have in my TBR pile, and how on earth am I ever going to decide which one to read when I finish my current? It also occurred to me last night that maybe my recent disinterest in reading has something to do with still trying to find the voice for this prologue–I can never read when I am still in the weeds with something I’m writing, because I don’t want to try to mimic the voice I am reading with what I am writing, if that makes sense? I’m getting closer to the right voice, and hopefully this weekend I can get that all finalized and cleaned up once and for all. Paul is going to be at Pride all day Saturday, manning a table for Saints and Sinners, so I’ll be home all day by myself, which will give me lots of time to get things done. After I finish working tomorrow, I’ll run errands so I won’t have to over the weekend, and so if I get everything done on Saturday that I need to, I can enjoy Sunday with Paul streaming things all day. I’m very excited for this new Star Wars show on Disney….but then I am always excited about anything new and Star Wars.

I do feel a bit tired today–physically, not mentally–so I think after work tonight I am just going to come home and finish the chores. I started laundry last night, and I have dishes to put away. I still need to try to repair the garbage disposal, which I should try to do tomorrow night/afternoon after work. I also need to try to clear out my email inbox again–I have fallen behind on a discussion that I will need to catch up on–but I also think I am going to assemble the new vacuum cleaner when I get home and finish the other chores, and will then do a trial run on the kitchen rugs. My word, the exciting life I lead, right?

And on that exciting note, I am going to head into the spice mines for the day. I may be back later; you never know. Have a happy Thursday, Constant Reader!

Look at this shot–tell me wrestling isn’t soft core gay porn!

Desert Moon

The spice must flow…

I read Dune for the first time when I was in high school. At the time, it was merely a trilogy, and the original was just starting to move from cult classic to widely read accepted classic. In the 1970s, the book was noted primarily for its commentary on ecology and the environment. I had never read anything like that. I’d not been into reading science fiction up until that time, and I didn’t really much care for science fiction movies, either; with their incredibly low budgets and amateurish special effects that always took you out of the story no matter how much you were enjoying it. I used to watch Flash Gordon serials, when some of those afternoon kids’ shows that Chicago’s television stations would run them–and while badly produced on a shoestring, the stories themselves were compelling enough to hold my interest, and Buster Crabbe was certainly good-looking enough to keep me interested.

I digress.

But reading Dune turned me into more of a science fiction fan than I had been already. Like I said, I’d never read anything like it, and while my teenaged self primarily was interested in the space opera elements of the story–prince loses everything to mortal enemies, but gets revenge on everyone, defeats the enemies of his family, and rises to become not only the new emperor but messiah of a new religion that takes over the vast reaches of the empire, and the holy war (jihad) of conversion that followed. One of the things I loved about the way Frank Herbert wrote the book was how it bounced around the galaxy, uncovering the mindsets and other conspiracies going on throughout the empire (politics) in what seemed like disconnected stories that all converged in the end and were resolved…while showing the connections that were there all along. I read the other two books in the original trilogy that year–Dune Messiah and Children of Dune–and I always thought the second was perhaps the weakest of the series. I’ve never reread any of the books–I think the series grew to six or seven before Herbert died and his heirs took over; I’ve not read any not-Frank generated Dune novels–other than the first, and I know the last time I reread Dune, I was really taken aback by the writing, which seemed poor. I would like to revisit Dune Messiah at some point because it’s more political than anything else; and also set up the rest of the series while the original remains as the only book of the series that can be read as a stand-alone.

Timothée Chalamet as Paul Atreides, the reluctant messiah

Star Wars was released the summer before my senior year in high school, and it changed special effects, and science fiction films, forever. So when the David Lynch film was released in the early 1980;s, I went into it expecting it to be more than it turned out to be. I had wondered how all the internal monologues would be handled, as well as the entire backstory that was necessary for the film to make sense to people who’ve not read the book. It was a big film, to be sure, but the effects weren’t great–and the choice to hear the internal thoughts as whispers, which meant almost fifty percent of the picture was whispered–weakened it. And really, most of the real action of the story takes place in the second half–and basically the Lynch film condensed the second half of the book to a quick transitional jump, and it wrapped up very quickly. (Having Paul bring rain to Arrakis in the final scene was also a bad choice, which negated everything about Dune’s ecology and the secret of the worms.) But I did like it, if parts (mostly Harkonnens) were over the top. But I was kind of excited to hear Denis Villeneuve was shooting it in two parts. I enjoyed the first part, but the second? Exceptional, and proved that Villeneuve’s vision for the property was the right one.

Dune Part 2 follows the book far more closely than any other adaptation has, which usually seems to run out of steam and time by the time Paul and his mother flee into the desert to seek safety with the Fremen. I also really liked how reluctant Paul was to assume leadership, or to launch his “religion”–because he IS the fulfillment of the Bene Gesserit “prophecy,” which was really just propaganda spread by Sisterhood missionaries centuries, if not millennia, before. He can see the possible futures as well as the entire past, and he knows his holy war will kill millions, if not billions, and he doesn’t want to be responsible for that. Dune Part 2 plays like a galactic Game of Thrones, and I appreciated all the politics on top of the action. I feel like this Villeneuve version of the story is the closest to what Herbert wrote and created. It’s an epic film, shot on an epic scale, with stunning visuals and strong performances–Austin Butler’s Feyd-Rautha makes you forget all about Sting’s bizarre performance in the Lynch version–and I do look forward to the next chapter in this sprawling saga.

Highly recommended.

Jambalaya

Louisiana is beautiful.

The state’s nickname is “sportsmen’s paradise,” because all of the macho male outdoor sports–hunting, boating, fishing–are available here in abundance. We’re also called the Pelican State (most prevalent) and several other nicknames, not all of which are complimentary.

Louisiana has always been a conservative state, despite the existence of New Orleans. Originally French then Spanish before becoming American, Louisiana also was a part of the Confederacy and had an economy based on enslavement. We weren’t that far removed from David Duke’s gubernatorial bid (which came all too close to succeeding), and I remember Paul had gone on site visits with his boss at the Arts Council south of the city, and came home saying, completely in disbelief, that “people had yard signs saying ‘this is Duke country’–and me replying, sadly, “in the South they don’t bother to hide the racism–they see it as a positive.” But you cannot really go anywhere in Louisiana without being awed by the natural beauty on display here. I love Madisonville, and the Tchefuncte River area. It’s always a lovely drive to take 90 east when you head north (yes, I am aware I am saying you take an east-west highway to go north; welcome to New Orleans), and head out through the Venetian Isles area and drive along that narrow strip of land separating the lakes, crossing the Rigolets bridge and heading into Slidell.

A while ago, I was following a Twitter conversation about Burt Reynolds movies from the 1970s. Mind you, when I was living in Kansas our movie options were limited. There was a drive-in movie theater on the way from our little town Americus to the county seat of Emporia, and there was a small twin cinema on Commercial Street. The summer before my senior year Smokey and the Bandit opened on a Friday, and the following Friday Star Wars opened in the other theater. Both movies ran for about three months….so I saw them both repeatedly as there was very little else to do. The 1970’s were an interesting time for depictions of rural Southern sheriffs; Jackie Gleason hamming it up and going completely over the top. This was also the same time period that gave us corrupt politician Boss Hogg and the inept sheriff and deputies he controlled. These were always played for laughs, but the thing is–there really wasn’t anything funny about these types of characters in real life. Political and police corruption have always gone hand-in-hand in the Southern states; the police merely existing to enforce and enable the existing power structure. That Twitter conversation, along with reading Ethan Brown’s Murder on the Bayou and the various true crime documentaries about the Jeff Davis 8, put me in mind of writing about that kind of corruption. But I also kept wondering, but is this still true in the South? Do these kind of corrupt power structures still exist in the South? Would this read like a period piece?

And then the Murtaugh scandal broke.

Guess what? It IS still like this in the rural South. Thanks, Murtaughs!

I already had an idea for the next Scotty, and was pulling it all together, using a relatively minor political scandal here locally as the starting point for the story–which involved a conservative politician getting involved with a teenaged boy who worked at the food court at a mall, mostly buying him presents–clothes, underwear, swimsuits–and having the kid send him pictures wearing it. The age of consent in Louisiana is seventeen, and the kid was over seventeen, but while still being an icky thing, it wasn’t illegal–and they never did anything beyond that. It was mostly a harmless flirtation, until the kid, who was gay, realized that the nice man buying him gifts was actually a hardcore far right family values politician, so he went public. I still needed a murder, but I thought it would be simple to come up with one–the politician would have every reason in the world to kill to protect his secret, and he had his parish sheriff’s department to help commit and/or cover up the crime.

I did borrow two of the Murtaugh crimes for the book, but as starting points more than anything else, and came up with my own theories of said crimes for my own story–I wasn’t writing true crime, after all, and I wasn’t interested in proving the guilt of the Murtaughs. What I was interested in was exploring the decline and fall of a politically powerful family that had controlled a parish in Louisiana for well over a hundred years, almost like an absolute monarchy with primogeniture. I had also originally started the story with the kid coming to Scotty and Frank (through Scotty’s old buddy and former workout partner, David, who now teaches at NOCCA) because he gets a text from an unknown number which contains one of the pictures he has sent his older male friend (that he doesn’t know is a family values politician), and is worried about his own future if the information comes out. I wrote an entire draft of this story, but it didn’t work and I didn’t care for it…which was when it clicked into place: use two of the Murtaugh crimes to start with, and built it out from there. I decided that the kid at the mall wasn’t the original target of the politician, and that the original target was killed in a hit-and-run accident the year before; I also used the boat crash, turning it from a boat hitting a bridge to a pick-up truck hitting a bridge and pitching the passengers in the back into the bayou.

I also liked the teenager/older man dynamic, because it had played out with Taylor in the previous book–and Scotty had his own past with an older man when he was a teenager, which I was finally able to circle back around to.

I also invented the parish–surprisingly enough, there is no St. Jeanne d’Arc Parish in Louisiana–but it’s based loosely on what are known as the bayou and river parishes (Terrebone, Lafourche, St. Charles, St. John the Baptist). I already had a fictional parish on that side of the river (Redemption), but I decided Redemption wouldn’t work for this book, so I made it a neighboring parish.