Why’s It So Hard

Here it is, Tuesday morning, and the weather is a bit cooler this morning. It rained off and on for most of the day yesterday, thanks to that tropical system to be named Edouard off the coast. It’s supposed to make landfall near the Texas-Louisiana border, with a very strong possibility that it will come ashore in or around Vermilion Parish–you know, where the big SpaceX spaceport is going to be. How much will the taxpayers be on the bag for every time a storm hits Vermilion Parish? Because you know SpaceX isn’t going to absorb any of the costs.

Anyway, we have the oddest weather here. At one point I walked past a window and rain was just pouring down…in bright sunlight. New Orleans always works to keep you slightly off-balance, which is part of the magic here. Nothing is on the level in New Orleans, and you often see things here you don’t see anywhere else. Crystal clear puddles of rainwater in the gutter, for example, or a downpour of rain while the sun shines. We’re supposed to get more rain today and through the rest of the week, and it has cooled things down a little bit–even if the humidity is more miserable as everything dries and the water evaporates. I didn’t get a lot done last night, actually. I ran some errands after work–mail and groceries–and was delighted to have my new moccasins arrive! They are very comfortable and are so cute! I got caught up on the news some, caught this week’s Real Housewives Ultimate Girls’ Trip (Vicki is completely insufferable), and then we finished off Furious, which was spectacular and absolutely nailed the landing. Emmy Rossum should at least get an Emmy nod for it, but they ignored her great work on Shameless for years.

I also woke up again at four, and slept fitfully for the next two hours before the alarm went off. That’s two days in a row, and not sure what that is all about, but I am not tired during the day. That’s the most important thing, frankly. My new shoes have ended the aches in my joints, which is awesome, and I keep thinking it’s later in the week than it actually is. Probably wishful thinking.

I haven’t watched much of the US Open thus far, but I love that Carlos Alcaraz is going viral for his longer hair and nip-slips in his tank top. He really is handsome, such a great player, and seems genuinely nice. I was also delighted to see that “Novax” Djokovic lost in the first round of a major for the first time since 2006. Maybe if you hadn’t hung our with RFK Jr. and Dr. Oz ahead of time, you wouldn’t have gotten sick? I used to like him, because he was a great player that was fun to watch and he was kind of funny. That stopped as soon as he became a COVID denier. Yes, someone who has lived in a tennis bubble and shielded from the rest of the world and reality is who I want to take my health advice from. I truly believe his on-line Google searches are the equivalent of studying epidemiology and infectious diseases for eight years. Imagine winning the most Grand Slam titles of all time for men, but your legacy is being a sideshow freak hawking snake oil.

I think the only good thing about Dolly Parton’s death (RIP, Queen) was watching the “contrarians” try to drag her on social media, only to be driven off social media for such a stupid and shitty take. Did they forget that so-called “Christian” bitch who called Dolly Parton a “false prophet” and not a real Christian in that article she wrote a while back? I participated in that internet pile-on, and gladly. If you don’t see the purest interpretation of the ministry of Jesus when you looked at her, well, there’s something inherently wrong with your readings of scripture.

And on that note, I am going to head into the spice mines. Have a terrific Tuesday, and may it be filled with tacos!

erotica

erotic…erotic…put your hands all over my body..

Madonna really recorded some bangers, didn’t she? (She still is; really enjoyed her latest record.)

So here we are on Wednesday Pay the Bills Day again, and wow, this month has certainly flown past like nobody’s business, hasn’t it? September looms, and there are even college games this weekend (nothing I’m interested in watching; but if an SEC team was playing I’d watch.

Dolly died yesterday, or at least, her passing was reported by her family on her social media channels. I’m a little taken aback, honestly, because there was something eternal about Dolly and she would always be here to help where she can and spread love and joy wherever she went. RIP, sweet princess! At least you’re with Carl again. Usually when a celebrity dies, I think oh that’s a shame if they were someone whose work I admired and pity when it’s someone I loathe (don’t try to school-marm shame me over that, either. I’ve watched too many good people die young to waste my time and energy and sympathy on a piece of shit that’s finally been flushed; not very Dolly of me, I know, but it’s who I am). Prince saddened me, but this was like a 2 x 4 to the forehead. Dolly was hardly perfect, but she was the best example of a real Christian, trying to do good to make up for whatever harm she may have caused. She distilled Christianity down to its core elements: kindness, charity, and empathy. There’s a reason she often got type cast as an angel, you know. What an incredible loss to the world.

And I will never get over the fact she wrote “Jolene” and “I Will Always Love You” on the same afternoon. I mean…wow.

Yesterday wasn’t bad, outside of losing Dolly. I wasn’t quite as groggy when I got up yesterday morning and felt pretty good all day. Sparky was incredibly needy when I got home, so he demanded a lap and some cuddles to feel safe and secure again. He’s very neurotic, much more so than any other cat we’ve had; when we boarded him the last time I went to Alabama he was very traumatized and terrified; his abandonment as a kitten must have been very traumatizing for him…to the point I don’t think we can ever board him again. (It’s hard enough thinking that the cat thinks you’re dumping him again…) Paul was late getting home, and when he did we watched an Outer Banks, in which John B and Sarah ran off to New Orleans to find her mother, who has the scytale, which…it’s one of those insane treasure hunt plots that sounds even more insane when you try explaining it, so I won’t. (Every time someone said “the Big Easy” Paul and I said, in unison, don’t call it that. LOL. And we’re not entirely sure it was actually filmed here…somehow they got to a body of water here without going over a levee, and it couldn’t be the river because there was no current.) Every time I start to wonder if I am still a New Orleanian… I see something that makes me think oh, yes, you still are a snobby New Orleanian.

If I’ve learned anything from watching Game of Thrones, it’s you can never go wrong wondering what the worst reason for someone to do something like this–and you’ll only go wrong due to a failure of your imagination to realize just how corrupt, vile, and disgusting some human beings can be. When I saw the horrible golf club commercial, my jaw literally dropped. As I was reading some of the social media postings about it, I assumed it was probably bad…but I had no idea how bad. I still can’t believe a company in this year of our Lord 2026 was okay with this commercial. The fact that the man shoving and threatening the woman is a co-founder of Good Good, who made the ad, tells me one thing–they’re all misogynist pigs who think violence against women is absolutely legitimate and okay and funny. (After all, same co-creator posted a selfie with the creature from the spray-tan lagoon, so yeah, I’m sure he respects women) Anyway, Callaway, the golf accessory company they made the video for? Their stock tanked and they’re buying it back! Sounds like some market manipulation to me, and yes, evil. “Yes, this will make everyone mad and people will start dumping their stock and the pigs we really market to will appreciate it, think it’s funny, and maybe will even use their drivers on their wives! And we won’t lose sales and we get a lot of stock back! Win! Win!”

Maybe I’m cynical, but this is the world we live in. I do think this was a ploy to manipulate their stock. But I don’t think the outrage is going to go away. Ask Target how that went for them. And yes, that is the worst reason I could think of for posting that ad; but the reality is probably even worse to the point I can’t imagine it…and I don’t mind that failure of imagination.

Heavy sigh.

I also managed some work on the book yesterday–not any actual writing-writing, but background work and realizing I need to do some of the work I should have done before I started writing the book, but I also wanted to get started to get me going on it. I need to focus, though…but I do think I’m getting better about things like that. Baby steps.

Oh! I sent out another newsletter yesterday! You can read it here, if you like.

And on that note I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Wednesday, and I will check in with you again tomorrow for my last day in the office for the week!

Former collegiate wrestler turned onlyfans model Wrestle Chris.

Papa Don’t Preach

…I’m in trouble deep! Oh, Madonna–another hit song, another controversy. Love her or hate her, I think everyone can agree we’ll never see another artist/star like her. She literally changed the world in so many ways–and IMAGINE how conservatives got upset over a young woman who owned and flaunted her own sexuality…those videos are all so tame now, and even then the haters missed the point of most of them. (Google the controversy about her “Like a Prayer” video, and then actually watch the video. It’s about racism and doing the right thing.)

So here we are on Friday morning in the Lost Apartment and all is well. Sparky has been fed and is now curled up under my desk. I slept very well and a little bit later this morning, and feel pretty well rested from a good night’s sleep. I have a meeting on-line in a few hours, some work to get done, and lots of chores to do. I also need to do some reading and writing, and order some things to be delivered. I am going to try not to leave the house this weekend, if at all possible. I want to finish a newsletter and get it sent out tomorrow morning, too. I did wind up getting a bit tired in the afternoon, and had errands to run after work. Traffic heading uptown was absolutely horrible, but with proper a/c in the car it wasn’t terrible. I picked up the mail, a prescription, and a few things at the grocery store–I cut it back because we were in a heat advisory and I didn’t want to have to deal with getting the wagon and so forth, figuring I’d just pay to have it delivered today or tomorrow. What can I say? I’m old and there was a heat advisory called that lasts until tonight at eight, I think. YIKES!

I’ve been listening to Fleetwood Mac and Stevie Nicks records in the car, and I finally decided to make a Rumours playlist, my own mix of the record’s line-up. I’ve always thought it was wrong that “Silver Spring” wasn’t included on that album, and I knew exactly where it belonged: between “Go Your Own Way” and “The Chain,’ replacing “Songbird,” which I replaced “Oh Daddy” with, and added “Fireflies” after “Gold Dust Woman.” This playlist is perfect, frankly. That is exactly where “Silver Spring” belongs, and the three songs all play into each other, like they’re finally in the right order. I also realized that “Songbird” wound up where it is because it was the final song on Side One of the record. and it was a nice mellow way of getting you up to flip the record over. I can’t believe it took me this long to make said playlist, and despite almost fifty years of listening to it in its original order, I don’t expect to hear “Songbird” when “Go Your Own Way” fades out.

The lovely thing about my weekends now is that I have so much free time on them now that I don’t feel like I work very hard on them now, but manage to get things done. It feels like I am being lazy, honestly, but then I am like, but look at what you got done! I’m still adjusting to the last twenty years or so of being insanely busy. It’s kind of nice when your to-do notebook doesn’t have a lot of things in it to do, isn’t it? I am going to make a list just for today–it’s so satisfying to cross things off, it pleases me to no end–so I can make sure to stay on track. I also have a short work week coming up; I’ve taken Thursday and Friday off for my birthday next week. Huzzah!

As for this weekend, I am going to try to get stuff done while relaxing. We’ll see how that goes, but I do want to get Chapters 1-4 checked for continuity issues, the files updated, and work on an strong outline of the first four and get some character work as well. I may work on some short stories, and I may get going on some organization of thoughts for the next Scotty, which will be called New Orleans Nemesis. (I’ve always loved the word nemesis, and I am excited to be using it as a title.) I have some amorphous thoughts rolling around in my head–thoughts that include the pirate Dominique Youx, the German Coast slave rebellion, a prized jewel from the past, the murder of one of Scotty’s ex-friends, and Scotty’s past haunting him yet again.

And the Saints are back for the preseason tomorrow! GEAUX SAINTS! I cannot believe it is almost football season…and on that note, I am going to get cleaned up and going on my day. Have a delightful Friday, Constant Reader, and I will be in the morning. See you then!

Sexy underground wrestler Zack Ramos

Cerebral Man

Wednesday Pay the Bills Day has rolled around again somehow, and so I get to spend some part of my day doing just that: paying the goddamned bills. Evangelicals keep promising the rapture, can y’all get your shit together and let us know when exactly this is going to happen? I intend to have fun during the end times, and I have zero interest is paying my bills during that time. Of course, whenever I think about these things, I do reflect on what a paradise it will be without the evangelicals here….oh, wait. They were Left Behind? (see what I did there?1) After the rapture, think how much fun it will be reminding evangelicals why they are still here.

I’m petty, what can I say?

I’ve been listening to the new Madonna album, Confessions II, and it’s good; probably her best album since the original Confessions on a Dance Floor and I have to admit, it’s a lot of fun having Madonna back on form again. As I listen to it while I drive around, I remember other Madonna bangers–there were quite a few–and what a fucking legend she is, and it also takes me back to my gay bar days and weekends. I don’t miss going out and dancing all night–much too old for that now–but I do have a lot of marvelous memories–or would if I could remember any of it, ha ha ha. I feel another essay coming on…there’s no celebrity that I am such a huge fan of that I can’t judge their work independently; I am not a “I love everything so-and-so has ever done” unless I actually do love everything so-and-so has ever done; but I don’t cape for famous people nor do I try to defend them against the indefensible on-line. I’ve stopped being a fan of some celebrities once I realize they aren’t good people–looking at you, Gloria Gaynor and Carrie Underwood, just off the top of my head (nothing makes me madder than people who use gay men for money and fame like that two-faced MAGA skank Kristin Chenowith; Judy or Liza would never). Also, there are people–adults now–who know nothing of Madonna, which is insane to me. If you want to talk disruptors…she was the original, and we’re all the better for it.

I feel rested this morning, so I think I slept better last night than I have the last two nights–or my body has adapted to getting up early. I have an employee development thing at work on Friday–everyone in the agency has to go–so once again, not a normal weekend for one Gregalicious. Sigh. The highs for the rest of the week are in the nineties, and I am sure the heat advisories are back, too, although we didn’t have one yesterday. It was actually kind of nice and cool when I left for the office yesterday morning, and according to the forecast the rain is returning this weekend. It was overcast a lot for the rest of the day after the rain passed in the morning, and it was definitely hot when I came home. I had to swing by the post office on my way home yesterday to pick up a package, and dashed into the grocery store for one item. I washed the dishes and cleaned out the sink last night, running the dishwasher just before I went up to bed. So yes, came down to a lovely clean kitchen (well, cleaner at any rate) this morning, which was absolutely lovely.

My coffee is kicking in! I like this leaving for the office later thing I’ve been doing, and I don’t care if I have to stay there until 5, you know? Yay! I do have some things I want to get done today. I didn’t do much work on the book yesterday–a couple of hundred words, at best, and I honestly don’t think I hit a hundred with fiction yesterday. I have to pay the bills and have another task I need to get finished today–preferably this morning, actually, or over lunch–and I have some stuff to order and have delivered, either tonight or tomorrow.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Wednesday, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back tomorrow morning. Till then!

Yes, yes, people are interested in his brains.
  1. If you are fortunate enough to be unaware, I am talking about the post-Rapture books by the evangelical scum by Tim LaHaye and Jerry Jenkins, which were popular for a few years around the turn of the century. Three films (starring certifiable freak Kirk Cameron), all as forgettable as the poorly written books. Most don’t remember them at all, and if I just reminded you of them, my apologies BUT WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO SUFFER ALONE?? ↩︎

Fight It Out

Friday morning and the office is closed for the holiday today, so no work-at-home chores for me today. Sparky let me sleep a little later this morning and I definitely didn’t want to get up this morning, either. I feel a bit worn down today, and a bit foggy, but I’ll be fine once I shower. I was able to leave work early yesterday and run a few errands on the way home (my medication arrived in the mail; had to get another prescription; and pick up my dry cleaning) but I did feel a bit wrung out when I got home. I did some chores (laundry, dishes) and we started watching Margo’s Got Money Problems but didn’t really care much for it, and thus gave up on it. I want to read a bit this morning and do some cleaning around here, and hopefully get some writing done as well. I want to work on newsletters today, too–I have my entry about A Violent Masterpiece to share, and I also want to write about the weirdness of this holiday weekend. They haven’t issued a heat advisory for us yet, but it’s still possible. It currently “feels like” 104 and it’s not even nine yet. There’s a possibility of thunderstorms this afternoon, too. I may have some things delivered today, to get it out of the way so I don’t have to go outside other than to take out trash. That sounds like a lovely plan to me.

It’s hard for me to believe and wrap my mind around the idea that the Bicentennial was fifty years ago; the summer I turned fifteen and was about to start my junior year of high school, starting over again in Kansas, where I stuck out like a sore thumb the moment I crossed the threshold. This is the summer I turn sixty-five, and the country is in a very different mood this time around. Apparently, Ba’al is planning to give an epically long speech tomorrow at the Great American State Embarrassment, and is threatening to go as long as he possibly can to prove that he did. No incumbent president has ever died on July 4th, but at the very least his make-up is going to run–and no telling what will happen to his rat’s nest. However, President Zachary Taylor went to a lengthy celebration of the 4th on a very hot humid day, ate some cold milk and cucumbers to cool down, and got sick and died a few days later.

Dare I dream?

Essence is also this weekend here in New Orleans, and I hope that it’s back to its best form; there were a lot of complaints and some scandals in recent years. Louisiana racists hate Essence Festival (just as they hate Bayou Classic weekend, another Black event), and were pretty gleeful about its possible demise the last couple of years (there are also Quarter businesses that close both weekends, but they’re not racist, wink wink),so here’s hoping its back to form this year and rebuilds back bigger and better than ever before.

The battle between New Orleans and Louisiana rages on, with a grand jury here indicting our criminalistic conservative skank Attorney General for, among other things, abuse of power. Our lovely governor has promised to “pardon her instantly” for any convictions she may get in New Orleans…(that MAGA love and respect for the law and the Constitution on full display here, may they both burn in their own hells for all eternity)…yet conservatives called Huey Long a dictator…when Huey never pulled any of this kind of shit on his own, and he and his candidates always won in landslides. At least the day to day people loved Huey because he fought the 1% to benefit the people–which our modern day demagoguery can’t be bothered with.

I’ve been listening to some old favorites lately in the car as I drive to and from work and around town–albums by Fleetwood Mac, Stevie Nicks, and Pat Benatar from my youth and most of them still hold up today and could be hits. Some of Stevie’s 1980s albums are very much of their time, vastly over-produced like the most excessive Bonnie Tyler hits of the period, unfortunately; I’d love to hear them remade with a more timeless production style.

And on that note, I am going to get cleaned up and head into the spice mines for the day. I need to do some chores, and I need to get the kitchen and my workspace back under control. I hope you have a lovely Holiday Eve, Constant Reader, and I hope to see you again here tomorrow morning on the nation’s birthday. Until then, Constant Reader!

The Sweetest Thing

Y’all, I wrote fiction yesterday. I know, right? Needless to say, I was thrilled and delighted, and I definitely am still feeling euphoric this morning about it.

It was only a thousand or so new words on the new first chapter of Chlorine, but y’all–I didn’t have to force it and it flowed out of me the way that it used to. His voice was loud and clear in my head and I was there, in that zone, and Mary Mother of God1, when I tell you I can’t even describe how good it felt to be doing this work, setting up the story, sharing who the main character is, seeing it all through his eyes…marvelous. What precisely was I so afraid of, again? Oh yes, that it wouldn’t come back, and who could blame it? We live in interesting times, I’ve gotten much older, and I am still not 100% completely healthy in mind and spirit…but my spirit is centered and where it needs to be, and motherfuckers, I wrote fiction yesterday. I still can do it. I still have whatever it is in my brain that channels this through my fingers and onto the page, and it’s glorious. It may come and go, as it is wont to do sometimes, but this is the first time I’ve written fiction in a long time–and it’s also the first time in a long time that it actually felt good to do it.

Apparently there are youngsters who don’t know who THE Madonna is? Shame on you all! Madonna is a fucking legend, bitches–put some goddamned respect on her name! ESPECIALLY YOU YOUNG QUEERS. Know your history, know your icons and why they are icons, and be better. MADONNA stood up for the queer community during HIV/AIDS before most celebrities and she has always been a huge ally for us. I suppose next they’re not going to know who Elizabeth Taylor was…I saw a theory on-line yesterday about how these things are now possible, while we knew the music and stars of previous generations because we all didn’t have personal phones, and there were only three channels on the television, and we were exposed to the art of previous generations that way (and listening to the communal car radio on drives) and now…everyone has their own phones and playlists and so forth, so such cross-generational sharing of art no longer happens. It was an interesting theory, and it’s been echoing in my brain since I first saw it. My father loved 1950’s music and country; Mom was more mellow and loved Lawrence Welk and the kind of music she played on the piano growing up. My childhood was filled with the music of Patsy Cline, Willie Nelson, Johnny Cash, George Jones, and that entire generation of country legends, and even the lesser known ones. I’m also glad this kind of exposure broadened my own musical tastes and aesthetics, and damn it, every young queer should know who Madonna and Elizabeth Taylor are/were. It’s queer history. There are many others, too, that you should know. Always remember, queer history isn’t as well-documented as it should be, nor is it reported on properly, so passing the knowledge down by word of mouth has always been important. Maybe the young, with their phones and ear buds and all the information of the world at their fingertips, don’t think they need to know about those who came before? I do remember explaining who Sylvester was to some young co-workers, and even playing the video for “You Make Me Feel Mighty Real” for them.

Yes, kids, we’ve always had bops.

I had a good day yesterday, although I could tell my injection is due today. Nothing major, but heartburn and gas and a mild discomfort, and a little dehydration to go with it. Like I said, I actually wrote fiction, read a chapter of Listen for the Whisperer, and as mentioned earlier, I worked on my own fiction writing, which was terrific and as I mentioned already, am still a bit euphoric. The Bold Strokes Book-a-thon was a lot of fun and reminded me that yes, Greg, you are a writer even if you never write anything else ever again, and of course, I write this every day (even though I only count fiction). My supervisor is in London for two weeks for a very well-deserved vacation, so I have more duties and responsibilities while she’s gone (hurray), but I’m hoping it won’t be a stressful, tiring week, and of course at the end of next week I am off to Alabama/Florida for Decoration Day and to see my recently widowed aunt. This month has really been nuts, hasn’t it? And next month is all about the doctors appointments, and blood work. Onward and upward, as I always say.

We started watching a creepy documentary about FLDS, called Trust Me: The False Prophet, which is about the aftermath of the arrest and conviction of their former child molesting prophet, Warren Jeffs (we’ve watched several documentaries about that pedophile already) and someone who stepped in and claimed Jeffs had “claimed and named” him as the new prophet so he could accumulate wealth (he was kind of a loser) and wives–including underage ones. I had never really thought about it before, but of course those women are groomed and conditioned to accept whatever their Prophet tells them is the Lord’s will. It really is fascinating to see how easy people can be conditioned to follow a man (or men in general) who is stealing their lives, their skills and abilities, and who they actually should have grown up to be. I do hope Sarah Weinman takes this on at some point.

I’m feeling a little bit more connected to myself these days, too–maybe I should have started all this introspective naval-gazing sooner? No, probably not. There was a reason for me to not examine myself and my life more deeply and objectively, and I needed to get older (and medicated) in order to do this work on myself. I’m trying very hard to get rid of the last vestiges of trying to please that is still wired into my brain.

I also started working on my next newsletter, which may even go out on Wednesday like it’s supposed to. Consistency, that’s me. The on-line rape academy report recently published by CNN (which came under attack almost immediately, because we must not ever talk bad about the menfolk! Their fragile egos and incredibly weak senses of self must be protected at all costs!!!) was disgusting but also my way in to talk about another reason I felt isolated from other boys (later, men), namely, that I never held girls/women in contempt the same way my male peers did?

Here’s hoping I hit that Wednesday target.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. The temperature dropped yesterday when the rain finally concluded, but I am sure will be sweltering by the time I get off work. Until tomorrow, Constant Reader, and have a good one!

The temple at Edfu, Egypt
  1. Shout out to Pope Leo! ↩︎

Sometimes It’s a Bitch

Ah, Wednesday morning in the Lost Apartment and I guess all is well–no mice stirring, I hope–and it should be another lovely day in New Orleans. I am hoping I am all better this morning; yesterday the cold was more annoying than anything else, really, and the constant having to blow my nose was aggravating. I slept really well and I feel pretty good so far–all I think is going on is some mild throat scratchiness and some mild head congestion, but feeling good when I first get up should be indicative of a pretty good day ahead. We weren’t terribly busy yesterday in the clinic, and was able to get caught up on my work despite missing Monday. Today isn’t bad, either–tomorrow is the busiest day on the schedule–and so tonight when I get home I absolutely need to do some chores I intended to do last night but…had to be a lap for a needy kitty while I caught up on the horrible news. Apparently he started another war while I slept? I am really tired of living in interesting times.

Does Maureen Dowd still stand by her column “Donald the Dove, Hillary the Hawk”? I won’t give the New York Times a dime of my money ever again, so I can’t check in on her–but that column alone should provide enough shame and disgrace that she should retire and disappear, forever, from public life. It’s funny, but I think some people are finally starting to wake up to “it could never happen here” to “holy shit, when did this happen?” Well, you know, Bill’s peccadilloes were Hillary’s fault and Kamala didn’t work at McDonalds and that LAUGH! Fascism is far, far better than either of those options, right? Future generations–if we don’t end up in a nuclear apocalypse–will look back and wonder, “They really hated women so much they were willing to give up their liberties. Wow.” I also see that Texas restricted voting in the Democratic primary–can’t imagine what they’ll do in the general, can you? They are going to do everything they can to suppress and/or rig the midterms–and that will be the end of the country as we knew it. Some of it deserved to die–the bigotry baked into the system, for one–but it’s better than what we’re going to have come the new year, believe you me. I hate being pessimistic like that, but you really can’t ever go wrong overestimating how evil the Right is in this country at this point in time. I’ve been ringing the warning bells since the 1990s, and oh, how I hate being proven right.

And I still keep hoping, as I have ever since the 90s, that I am wrong.

As my coffee kicks in and I am awake longer, I am feeling even better. This is the best I’ve felt in the morning in days, and I am neither groggy nor tired, which is also pretty nice. My Achilles tendons feel not bad this morning, either–I did spend some time icing them last night, which I really need to do every night until they aren’t sore anymore. Physically I feel better than I have in a few weeks–which is very nice, too; I’d forgotten what I felt like to not ache somewhere.

I’d been listening to Taylor Swift’s The Life of a Showgirl in the car, mystified why this record was bashed so much, when it finished playing yesterday and Spotify went into one of those “if you listened to that you may like this” mixes. First up was Chappell Roan’s “Pink Pony Club,” which I’d only heard snippets of before and never all the way through, and you know, I liked it. It then mixed in a Charlie XCX song–I’d heard of her, but never heard her–and I kind of liked that too. I haven’t listened to the radio in decades–not since playing music through the car stereos from my iPod or iPhone became an option, any way–and so I’ve not been familiar with a lot of the popular current music since then. (Although the people I’d heard of nominated for Grammys has steadily declined since the 1990s, too.) So, I think I am going to queue up some new(er) artists. Why not? Expand my brain a bit and get out of the comfort zone? It also might be nice to know what people are talking about when they talk about popular music…and not feel like a rusty relic from another time. (Which is what I actually am, aren’t I? Sigh.)

And on that note, I am going to get cleaned up and head into the spice mines. Hope your day is as wonderful as you are, Constant Reader, and please know how grateful I am for all eternity that you check in periodically!

A gilded cross in the plaza by il Duomo in Florence

Crazy Arms

Sunday morning and all is calm in the house. I feel good, very well-rested and cheerful, which of course is lovely. The Sparkster let me sleep in till almost eight, and now I am finishing my first cup of coffee and have already had this morning’s slice of chocolate marble swirl coffee cake (can’t imagine why I can’t lose weight, can you?), and am about to get another cup of coffee. I did get some things done yesterday, which is cool, and have more things to do today as well. I have one errand to run later this morning, and I’m going to get that out of the way, come home and get cleaned up and get back into working for a bit. Yesterday was a lovely day. I worked some more on the apartment, and delved even more deeply into my renamed main character in the current work. I’m also going to try writing it in the first person present tense, which is going to be really hard for me. (I tend to always use first person past tense.)

The best part of writing a book is this part–even if a lot of this background work never makes it into the finished part.

I’ve been listening a lot to old Fleetwood Mac albums in the car lately, and while they’ve always been my favorite band of all time–every album is a gem, in its own way–when I go for a while without listening I sometimes forget why they are my favorite band of all time. This past week I was listening to their Christine McVie-less recording from the early aughts, Say You Will, which is really good, but kind of Buckingham Nicks 2.0, really. I also like watching Youtube videos of young people listening to their recordings for the first time, and appreciating the artistry, talent, sound, and production values. Rumours will always be my favorite album of all time, and my favorite album of theirs, but the others are also excellent and merit more listening.

We watched this week’s episode of Heated Rivalry, which was probably the best, and most engaging, episode of the show thus far (I loved episode 3, spoiler alert); the first time I cared whether the main characters were just fuck buddies or a couple slowly falling in love. I still have some thoughts about the show, some quibbles as it were, mostly about relationship roles and the feminization of bottoms, but that can wait till I’ve finished watching the show and review it for the newsletter. (I’m still bitter about the cancelation of Boots, but…they also could have seriously fucked up a second season, so I’m choosing to see this cancelation, evil as it was, as a good thing.)

I did have the college football games on yesterday, but the only one we watched was Miami-Texas A&M, which was the only good game of the day. We turned off the later games to watch other things once it was clear they were not going to be competitive. Despite their blowout losses, good for both Tulane and James Madison for having breakout seasons and making it to the playoffs before a lot of name brand schools did. I don’t know if I’ll watch the quarterfinals or not; I don’t care who wins but I am also not a big fan of any school still left in it–although I always pull for underdogs, so I kind of would like to see Indiana do well–so am not sure.

I did finally finish reading The Postman Always Rings Twice yesterday; it’s really a nasty little book, isn’t it? I now can see why it was controversial; for one, it’s told from the villain’s point of view, which may or may not have been shocking to readers in the 1930s. (This particular reread also made me realize I need to delve more deeply into Chlorine and my main character–who he is, what he wants–and very glad I did; this reread was crucial.) Postman also deserves its own newsletter (I need to get some of the others done and out of the way already, don’t I?), where I can talk about this vicious little novella that changed everything in the crime fiction genre (I”m talking out of my ass here, but I would imagine it did challenge the sensibilities of readers conditioned to Christie, Queen, and Sayers, among many others), and its impact on me, both as a writer and a reader. I also generally don’t revisit Postman often; usually I just revisit Double Indemnity and Mildred Pierce, but am very glad I did. It made me see what was wrong with what I had already done on this book.

I also gave my main character a new stage name–because the old one really didn’t work. It was more modern than the weird names movie stars were given in the late 1940s and early 1950s (Tab Hunter, Rock Hudson, Troy Donahue), and so yesterday one of those dopey names came to me as I was cleaning the house; and realized it would work, plus would help define the amorality and narcissism in the character. I will reuse the working name for him in another book, certainly–it’s a good name–but this new one is even better.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. The sun is shining outside (it’s gorgeous out, just as it was yesterday), and I still have some things to do this morning. I’m going to start reading the new Eli Cranor. methinks, while also revisiting a classic juvenile series mystery from one of my favorite juvenile series. I also have some short stories I want to work on, too. Have a lovely Sunday, Constant Reader, and I will be back in the morning before I head in for my last two work days before Christmas.

The gift where they meant well, but didn’t think about the cost-feeding, clothing, cleaning up after him, etc.

Long Long Time

Thursday and my last day in the office before the weekend. I slept really well last night–I even forgot to set the alarm but woke up on time on my own, without an assist from Sparky. My legs feel a bit fatigued, but that’s not a big deal. I was also very productive last night when I got home from work. I did the dishes and finished the laundry, and then made mac ‘n’ cheese for our potluck today at work. (I now have more dishes to do, but that’s okay.) Paul has a gala event for the TWF to attend tonight, so he’ll be home late, probably after I fall asleep. I watched The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City, by far and away my favorite of these marvelously trashy shows, and went to bed relatively early. Tonight when I get home (after an errand) I will unload the dishwasher and reload it, and try to get the kitchen straightened up as much as I can so I don’t have to do it over the weekend. I also need to make a list for the trip–things to take, and things to get done before I leave–and after I do all that tonight, I’ll probably read for a bit.

Being oblivious, it never dawned on me that this month is Noirvember (despite seeing lots of posts about it, and even commenting on some…my grasp of the obvious is slippery at best) which would have made it perfect for another reading project. Sigh. I should have spent this month reading (and watching) noir! Especially since I am getting ready to really immerse myself in writing one. Making I can make the project Noir for the Holidays, and move it back to December? Heavy heaving sigh. I have a ton of noirs in my ebook library–there was a big sale on the marvelous Dorothy B. Hughes recently and I snapped up quite few of them, and two–Ride the Pink Horse and The Fallen Sparrow– look especially interesting, as do some of the Jim Thompsons I’ve also gotten on sale. I also want to revisit some of James M. Cain’s classics, and maybe even some I’ve not read. I also would like to rewatch In a Lonely Place and The Strange Love of Martha Ivers…so much awesome noir out there!!

I’ve also been revisiting Fleetwood Mac lately, mostly inspired by Buckingham Nicks finally being released on DVD and to streaming services. It’s a great album, yes, but as I listened and enjoyed it, I kept thinking it was missing something. Yesterday on my way to work I played Rumours in the car (and on the way home; today I am listening to Mirage) and it hit me: that is what’s missing from Buckingham Nicks–the keyboards and harmonies of Christine McVie, and that incomparable rhythm section of Mick and John. Some of these songs got repurposed later as Fleetwood Mac recordings, but really–they should have just rerecorded it as a Fleetwood Mac record. The interesting thing about their music collectively is it holds up still, all these years later, and most of the albums are masterpieces.

Oh, if you’re interested in trying my mac ‘n’;’ cheese, the recipe is here, if you’d like to give it a try. HIGHLY RECOMMEND. It is a LOT of cheese, and if you’re dieting, don’t bother, as it also calls for heavy cream, half-and-half, and sour cream on top of about 32 ounces of cheese.

And ICE is here, staying at the Riverside Hilton and apparently using the Riverwalk parking as a staging area for evil. I bet those ICE agents were also really excited about being reassigned to New Orleans…mwah ha ha ha ha. New Orleans is a city known for its, well, everything, but its hospitality is always top notch, unless you aren’t wanted here. Sure, Louisiana is a red state (look at the pitiful fools we sent to Washington and our state government of fools–a true confederacy of dunces), but New Orleans gave 83% of its vote to Harris/Walz. The orangutan never even drew twenty percent of the vote here once in three tries, and immigrants rebuilt this city after Katrina. This isn’t going to go the way ICE thinks it will…and there’s so much interference on a basic level here. It’s not like our streets make sense to begin with, and they are riddled with deceptively deep potholes. We have second-lines all the time, and it’s also marching band practice season with Carnival just around the corner. High speed chases here end in fatalities all the time because the streets make no sense, are often insanely narrow, and change one-way directions all over the city. Compass directions make no sense here; the sun rises over the West Bank every morning and you drive east to get to the north shore. I hope we have several flooding rains here during their stay.

And on that note, I am going to head into the spice mines. Have a great Thursday, everyone, and I’ll check in with you again tomorrow morning.

Since I Held You

Ah, another work at home Friday and man, was I fatigued yesterday. I’m hoping that sleeping late this morning and tomorrow will knock the last of the fatigue out of my system. I was more mentally alert in the morning than I’d been since the infusion, but the brain wiring started sparking and malfunctioning in the afternoon. I do hate when that happens, and my legs get super-tired and my feet feel like I’m just dragging them along for the ride. Most unpleasant, actually. Needless to say, I didn’t run any errands on the way home last night, but after getting caught up on the news once I was home, I started doing research again on the 1970s by watching Youtube videos. (It’s amazing how much I’ve forgotten about the 1970s.) Today after work we’re going to go to Costco and run some various other errands, which means I’ll probably be exhausted again tonight. But that’s okay, I feel rested (my legs are still fatigued, though) and it’s always nice to get up to a cat alarm than to the horrible electronic beeping tones of an alarm.

I was kind of bummed there wasn’t a new episode of South Park this week, and I have to say, between the show and Gavin Newsom, I think this marks a sea change in the country. Turns out the MAGArbage doesn’t like being treated the way they’ve treated other people for the last ten years. Aw, they’re needing safe spaces like the precious, unique little snowflakes they are and always have been. But the masks are off them now permanently, and their narcissistic tantrums about “their” country and their “true” patriotism.

Sorry, if you try to overthrow the government, you’re not a patriot. And have we forgotten “Let’s go Brandon”? You’re not a patriot if you’re trying to cram your beliefs and values (such as they are) down the throats of everyone. You’re not a patriot if you celebrate and applaud violations of the Constitution. You can fetish worship symbols you don’t understand (for the record, wearing the flag as an article of clothing is also considered a desecration) all you want, but that doesn’t make you a patriot, especially if you don’t understand and appreciate what they symbolize.

And for the record, I am not about forgiving and forgetting. Straight white people, if and when this horrible period actually ends, will be all about that… just as they were after the Civil War. They always prefer to support other white people than oppressed minorities, to the detriment of the country, and we just wind up back where we were yet again because so many white people won’t address their bigotries and prejudices.

And as for Jillian Michaels, she has always been a garbage person. Anyone who calls herself a “gay woman” instead of “lesbian”? That’s kind of telling. She wants to join, and only associate, with the rich conservative cisgender white gays1. I do take some consolation in knowing that her unspeakable vileness means she is miserable and unhappy; it’s written all over her face. She must really be bitter that she can’t shame and embarrass overweight people on national television anymore. She was a disgrace to the fitness profession, and she’s a massive embarrassment of a human being. I hope she marries someone just like her and forgets the prenup. Irrelevant and useless, why does being a hateful bitch on television make her an authority on history and politics? Because she once had a reality show? Bitch, please.

This week, Taylor Swift announced, on the Kelce Brothers podcast, that she was dropping a new album, The Life of a Showgirl, in October. Yesterday she released the four alternate covers of the album, one of which is this:

One of the covers for Taylor Swift’s new album, The Life of a Showgirl.

She looks amazing, doesn’t she? But of course, trolls (who really need to get a life) did what they usually do whenever she does anything. The cover above was shared on social media by some bitter pill of a man in Houston, saying “She has young fans! How is this appropriate?” I personally have seen more skin on the beach or at a pool, and sometimes in the French Quarter. Yes, this is the problem, not a president who’s in the Epstein files for child rape, or all the youth pastors, or preachers, or priests arrested on the daily for raping kids. No, Taylor Swift in a Las Vegas-style showgirl outfit–on theme for her album–is the real problem2 kids are facing today.

God give me strength.

I am pleased to report, however, these zeta males were thoroughly ratioed and dragged in the comments…I don’t understand this sick need some people have for negative attention and being humiliated on-line (probably bots, but in some cases they are actually people), and probably never will.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Friday, Constant Reader, and I will most likely not be back until tomorrow morning.

  1. The Log Cabins are vile, period. ↩︎
  2. Where is all the upset about kids possibly finding out about Laura Loomer and “Arbys in her pants”? Give me a break. ↩︎