Tag: mental-health

All Mixed Up

There are three “disturbances” out in the Atlantic with the potential to develop into tropical systems. None are a threat to the Gulf Coast (at least, not yet), but we are heading into the time where hurricane season is super-busy. This year is also the twenty-year anniversary of Katrina, so I’ll be avoiding all the coverage of that for the most part. Even after twenty years, it’s still hard for me to watch any of that stuff–but maybe this year I should break the power of the PTSD and watch it all. It was such a horrible time, truly…but we did watch that show about Memorial Hospital (Baptist). But twenty years on, maybe it is time to watch some of the coverage that I pointedly ignore every year. I dunno, we’ll see.

Yesterday I felt a little under the weather–stomach again–which had me concerned that I was having a reoccurrence of the colitis, but this morning I feel fine, even well rested for a change. I managed to get a lot done at work yesterday, which was great, and I made groceries on my way home. I was tired when I got home, but I wrote for a very little while before Sparky’s need for attention wore me down and I went to my chair. We watched some more Unspeakable Sins, which is such an amazing rollercoaster ride. More has happened in the seven or eight episodes we’ve watched than happened in an entire season of Melrose Place. Nobody does soapy thrillers quite like the Spanish language production companies. So far, we’ve had a failed blackmail seduction, two kidnappings, one faked death, and several criminal syndicates–and of course, lots of videos of wealthy and prominent people at sex parties. We also have a teenager whose stepfather got him addicted to drugs and abused him.

That is seriously one fucked up family.

We’re finally out of the heat advisories, and the maximum temperature for today is 89…which is low for August but I’ll gladly take it. Rain (gasp) is also in the forecast. The rain is predicted for late this afternoon, around when I’ll be coming home, actually, so no errands tonight for sure. I didn’t want to get up this morning, but…that’s really nothing new on a work day, is it? This is a slow week in the clinic (next week is busy busy busy), which is nice, since we’re having a site visit tomorrow. I think I have everything done that I need to have done for the visit, which was the entire goal for yesterday.

I am feeling good about most everything and am not being critical of myself for not pushing myself harder, you know? I’m also kind of still adjusting to life again, which seems to take longer to do the older I get, and seems more necessary as well more often. This has not been a great decade for me, and I can definitely state that my sixties haven’t been the best so far (I’ve pretty much forgotten the fifties, in all honesty). But the inexorable passing of time continues, as the sand in my hourglass continues to run, and my instincts are telling me to make the most of my time, so…sure, I get the I don’t want to’s still, and of course, the temptation of recharging with Sparky in my lap is always there, but I know I can get the work done when I put my nose to the grindstone.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a great Tuesday, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back tomorrow.

Hysteria

Work at Home Friday, with tasks that need doing and an apartment to clean and a Costco run later on this afternoon. After I am finished with work stuff I am free until Monday morning to do as I please, and how I please is to get things delivered so I don’t have to leave the house all weekend! I also want to clean the apartment more, as well as dive into my reading and do some writing as well. I know I promised a short story to an anthology, which is cool and yet another short story sale for the year, and of course, all the books I am currently working (horribly slowly, for the record) on and trying to finish. I had planned to do more this year, but I also didn’t take “getting horribly sick and going into the hospital for six days and then trying to get my strength back” into consideration for planning this year’s writing schedule. I had hoped to have the Scotty finished and turned in, as well as the other one I am in process with. I do have some things to get done before I finally stop letting the new Scotty steep in the files, and get back to work on it.

Man plans, and God laughs, right?

I was exhausted when I got home last night, and fell asleep in my chair around seven! Paul worked late at the office finishing a grant, and I had no clue how worn out I was. I sat down in my chair, figuring I’d rest a but would get up and do some chores after getting caught up on the news. That didn’t happen, needless to say. Being tired hit me when I got home from work, alas–I was fading at work in the late afternoon–and I thought a little rest won’t hurt me as I got sucked into the news of the day about the slow, steady collapse of the country. I have a dishwasher to empty and reload, lots of laundry to do, a staff meeting at nine this morning, and data to enter. We’re going to Costco later in the afternoon when I’ve finished work, and I need to order the groceries to be delivered this evening. I also would like to do some writing and reading tonight, too. We shall see how it goes, won’t we?

I still feel a bit groggy but this second cup of coffee is quite delicious, and I need to make something to eat in a moment because I certainly don’t want to be eating on camera during the meeting.

I also saw a submissions call for an anthology that feels like its right up my alley and I could easily (ha!) come up with something to submit, and I’m actually kind of excited about exploring that idea? Despite falling off the writing horse yesterday due to exhaustion and fatigue, I am still feeling like a writer again, which is a huge relief. Whenever I go into a fallow phase, for whatever reason, I always worry that I’ve exhausted my creativity and my ability to write and it won’t resurface again. I also worry about that I’ll burn out–but if my hyper-productive phases in the 2010’s didn’t do it, I can’t imagine simply being old and weary has that much power. I also, seriously, don’t feel old. I know I talk about it all the time, primarily because it catches me off-guard sometimes that I am in my mid-sixties. I have noticed that my energy reserves are more limited, but Christ–I had two surgeries three years ago and a serious illness earlier this year–and I never seem to have the time to get rested and healthy and fully recovered. I doubt that I’ll ever do four or five books per year ever again–even if I could, I don’t think I’d want to–but maybe two per year could work for me. We’ll have to see.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Friday, Constant Reader, and I’ll check in with you again probably tomorrow morning as I have a day jam-packed with stuff I need to get done.

Cody Rhodes is a fine specimen

Pour Some Sugar on Me

Thursday and my last day in the office for the week. I slept well again last night–didn’t want to get out from under my pile of blankets this morning, yet again–and we also had an amazing thunderstorm last night. Lightning was very close, the thunder rolled for what seemed like forever, and twice the power fluttered on and off before I went to bed. I had a good day at work yesterday–got a lot done there–and picked up the mail on the way home and there was plenty of it, too. This weather is the return of the system that was supposed to flood us this past weekend; it made a U-turn and basically came back. There’s no flood watch or anything, so it’s not as scary this time around, methinks. I did some chores when I got home before my usual catch-up on the news, and once Paul got home we started watching Untamed. We were on our second episode of the evening when the power blinked out then back on the first time, and it took forever for the wireless server to come back on line–Netflix is always slow to load, too–so we gave up for the evening. We’ll probably finish the show in another night or two, and then will have to find something new to watch again. Huzzah.

I am also still reeling a bit from how much my bi-monthly medication costs (#madness). It’s almost two hundred thousand dollars per year. Granted, that also includes the cost of the injection device that I have to attach to myself every eight weeks (I thought it was four; this is much better on me). It is on its way, and should be arriving sometime Friday at the postal service, so I can pop it into the refrigerator and keep it there until I need it in September. I have to go to the service on Friday anyway; I received the title pages for Double Crossing Van Dine anthology to sign (my co-editors, Donna Andrews and Art Taylor, have already signed them; I’m last to go) for the clothbound edition of the anthology. My story “The Spirit Tree,” is another Alabama story, for the record; yet another return to Corinth County! So one of the things I need to do either tonight or tomorrow morning is sign them.

Apparently I need to watch last night’s episode of South Park? Social media is completely abuzz with clips and general hilarity about this new episode, which targets Dumble-dumb. Something to stream while bonding with my precious Sparky tonight, at any rate. I also need to check my to-do list as well as make a more comprehensive one for the weekend. I have plenty of work to do at home tomorrow, of course, and lots of chores and writing and editing and cleaning to do around that, as always. I am trying to get my email inbox cleaned out, and I also need to do some studying on things. I don’t think I have to sign up for Medicare before I actually retire or stop working, according to what I have read, which is kind of a relief; I’d rather not deal with that frustrating red tape until I actually have to, you know?

Insurance shouldn’t be this crazy and complicated and irritating, frankly.

Neither should life.

I also want to get another newsletter out–either about the recent trend by gymbros to build up a beautiful butt1, or my one about the kids’ series featuring Vicki Barr, (pre-feminist) stewardess! I also owe a gazillion emails…sigh.

And on that note, it’s off to the spice mines with me. Have a lovely Thursday, Constant Reader, and I will be back in the morning.

The Temple of Poseidon
  1. So much of a gym trend that Men’s Health published an article about it! ↩︎

Women

Wednesday morning blog and we’re halfway through the week. I feel decent this morning, not overly tired or fatigued or brain mushy, but awake and good. My stomach is bothering me a bit this morning, but I’m not dehydrated and this doesn’t feel like a colitis flare-up–at least not so far. I slept well, and did get some things done last night when I got home. I put away the dishes, made lunches for the rest of the week, cleaned off the counters, and did some filing. We also watched another episode of Untamed, which we are enjoying. It was a pretty mellow night, with Paul getting home later than I would prefer. I also balanced my checkbook (I have more money than I thought I did, and the more money is accurate, not my register balance–I deducted a couple of things twice), and got caught up on the news–always a depressing thing no matter how little of it I catch up on. I do love seeing MAGA being hoisted on their own petard, don’t you? The people screaming about pedophiles and grooming and Jeffrey Epstein for the last ten years are suddenly all about protecting groomers and pedophiles when their foul god turns out to be one of them…but they’ve always been all-in on hypocrisy.

There are few things I despise more than hypocrisy. I especially hate it when I’m doing it.

I dealt with the specialty pharmacy yesterday to get my injection stuff sent to me yesterday–turns out it’s only every two months that I need to use the injection device to infuse my anti-colitis medication (or whatever it is), which will be interesting. I don’t need it until September, as I have one more infusion to do first, and then a month later I start using the disposable device they’ll be sending me. (I also saw the bill they sent my insurance company –almost thirty thousand dollars! I don’t know if that is for the two infusions, or for the device they’re sending me (I suspect it is for the device, because the infusion charges would come from my GTI specialist since they are done in his office), but yikes!

Thank God that’s not coming out of my pocket…I guess uninsured people just die. I mean, it’s almost two hundred grand per year for the rest of my life, which I certainly do not have.

Sigh. I suppose I should consider myself lucky that I’ve not really had to deal with health issues until I turned sixty.

I’ve also been remiss in not talking about upcoming things, haven’t I? I have about three short stories in anthologies that are all dropping in the next two months, and I am also hosting a Noir at the Bar the Thursday of Bouchercon weekend, which I should be talking about and promoting, and should be bringing more attention to the anthologies. My bad! I know I’ve mentioned the stories before–“The Rhinestone” in Crime Ink: Iconic; “The Last To See Him Alive” in Celluloid Crimes; and “The Spirit Tree” in Double Crossing Van Dine–but I should at least post a TOC and the release dates…which means actually finding out when the release dates are. I am so bad at this, oy. I promise I will get better!

I also need to start looking into Medicare and signing up for that and so on. Heavy sigh. I really hate being an adult.

Okay, on that note I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Wednesday, Constant Reader, and I’ll check in on you tomorrow.

Avalon

Many years ago, Anya Seton published a terrific historical novel set in pre-1066 England and titled Avalon. The title was a throwback to the female lead character’s bloodline; she was descended from King Arthur and thus part of the English royal family. I loved Anya Seton (Green Darkness remains one of my favorite books to this day)–it’s been a while since I’ve revisited her work, but maybe I should…her books are soooo long, though! Anyway, Avalon is an island from the Arthur mythology…I suppose this is where I admit I’ve never read anything about King Arthur other than the Mary Stewart novels, but I enjoyed those so much I never really felt much of a need to read anything else Arthurian1. For those of you who missed the 1980s, Roxy Music recorded an album titled Avalon, and the title song was gorgeous…as is the entire album, which I’ve been listening to lately. It still, for the record, holds up.

The tropical system turned out to be not much of anything here in New Orleans, but it was rough where it did rain and flood. Yesterday–which was supposed to be the worst of it–was gorgeous for most of the day. After work, we did go to Costco and then I had dinner with a good friend at Saba, which was lovely. My Lyft drivers in both directions were pretty great, too–which was very lovely. The meal was terrific, and I allowed myself a single cocktail–A Dionysus Revival, which was an interesting mix of tequila, cucumber, and mild ancho chili; it was delicious. I also did chores yesterday around working, and the kitchen–which still needs some work–looks so much better this morning than it did yesterday morning, and that makes me very happy this morning. NO DISHES!

I hope to have a good day today, I have some errands to run around noon (mail, make a little groceries), but other than that I am home for the day. We’ll probably watch some more of America’s Sweethearts later, too. I’m not entirely sure why this show fascinates us both so much–there’s definitely a camp quality to it–but it just sucks us in every time we start watching. We, of course, are old school–we used to watch this on TNN when it was called Making the Team, and you can tell Netflix spends more money on the show than TNN ever did. My coffee is tasting marvelous this morning, Sparky let me sleep a little later than usual, and I feel very good this morning. My sinuses are behaving and I don’t have the headache that’s plagued me for the last couple of weeks. I’m also going to spend some time with the new Megan Abbott and my other current reads. Tomorrow we are going to go see Superman, which I am absolutely looking forward to seeing. Reader, there will be a newsletter about my almost life-long love of the character.

I am also hoping to get some writing done today as well. It’s about time for me to get back in the saddle again–and every day that passes when I don’t climb up on that horse again is time slipping through my fingers. It’s creeping up on football season, too–which is going to make it harder to be productive on the weekends, like it always does. I need to clean off my desk and do the floors here in the kitchen, which will be my housework for the day; and I’ll pick up in the living room later on.

Such an exciting life I lead, right?

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Saturday, Constant Reader, and I will check in with you again tomorrow morning.

  1. I did watch Camelot–we saw it in the theater when I was really young. I tried rewatching it during the pandemic, but couldn’t get through it. I’ll never understand why they didn’t cast Julie Andrews as Guinevere, since she’d played it on stage. ↩︎

India

I’ve always wanted to go to India. Now it’s yet another one of those destinations I’ve wanted to visit since I was a child and never got around to seeing. Ah, well. There are worse things.

We’re due for some shitty weather, beginning later on today. We’re in a flood watch until Saturday, and there’s a tropical system heading this way as well. Yay? The office will be monitoring the situation and determining whether or not we should close the office because of the weather. I love the rain, not going to lie, and the thought of being able to read the new Megan Abbott while under a blanket while it rains outside is very appealing.

I just hope we don’t lose power.

It’s Pay-the-Bills Wednesday again, so I’ll have to make some time this morning to do just that. This will be the first paycheck with my raise on it, yay! We were very busy at the office yesterday, with the end result that I was very fatigued by the afternoon and headed straight home after work, collapsing into my chair and providing a comfy bed for a cuddle-bug Sparky. He’s become very attached to me since I got back from Alabama, which is lovely; when I was sick he couldn’t be bothered! But in fairness to him, when I was sick I was also getting up very frequently…I don’t know why he’s become so affectionate, but I also don’t mind it in the least. It’s relaxing to have a purring, sleeping kitty in your lap, isn’t it? I also went to bed around nine. I accomplished nothing last night, but that’s okay. Today won’t be as busy at work, it’ll be raining when I come home, and of course, I am hoping to have a productive evening. What we do this weekend will be tempered by the weather but I am still hopeful we’ll be able to go to Costco and see Superman.

As a cat bed, I spent most of the evening watching news clips on Youtube and doomscrolling social media, which was an utter waste of the night but I was too exhausted/fatigued from the day to do much of anything else. Of course I am trying not to berate myself for having such an unproductive evening, but I was fatigued and too befuddled to do much of anything, so let it go, Gregalicious. I do have a lot to get done, but it’s all dependent on my energy levels. Today I am going to review and revise my to-do list and start working on it. I don’t need to doomscroll social media much anymore–social media really isn’t much fun anymore. I used to interact with people a lot more before the billionaires began showing their evil hands. Facebook is mostly a waste of time with very little interaction, and I don’t use the Twitter replacements nearly as much as how I used to use Twitter back in the day. Now social media is nothing but a waste of time; if I’m not having interactions with friends and fun people, what is the point?

And yet I still go to Facebook a few times per day, mostly to post this blog or a newsletter, but the fun is gone. And was the fun worth the cost? On the one hand, I’m glad I found out some people I know are utter and complete garbage, but on the other, that also makes me a little sad. Social media took the mask off a lot of people, didn’t it? It kind of took the mask off the country, too, for that matter. Before this most recent election, I was always smugly confident that when push came to shove, Americans would always do the right thing and reject bigotry and prejudice. Joke’s on me, right? Sadly, it’s also a joke on the country, which I now think of as a joke myself.

But I feel good and rested this morning, which is always a plus. We’re going to be busier than I thought (the schedule got booked up overnight, or at least since I left yesterday), so I may be fatigued when I get off work and head homeward, but them’s the breaks and when I do get home, I have to do things before I become a cat-bed again.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Wednesday and I will see you in the morning again…if we don’t wash away over night.

Take a Chance With Me

Well, here we are on Monday morning and I am getting my second infusion today, which means driving out to Clearview on I-10 and spending two hours in a heated massage chair as I get this stuff infused into my blood stream before heading to the office. I am already a bit groggy and sleepy/tired this morning, so who knows how I am going to feel once I am finished? I got nothing done yesterday–Paul came downstairs and turned on Wimbledon, which I then got sucked into watching, and soon enough I was no longer in the mood to get much of anything done. The chair is like a black hole sucking me in…and of course, Sparky turned my lap into a bed for most of the day as I watched the MAGA meltdown and civil war raging across all news networks and all political influencers. What can I say? I enjoyed a lot of cruel laughs at their expense (odds they’ll begin to think he’s lying about other things? Too soon to tell) last night–but while everyone not in the MAGA bubble is very well aware of the Trump/Epstein connection and have been for a very long time…I’m beginning to think they had no idea? And thought of course if your only source for news coverage is Fox or Newsmax–which would never do anything to connect Dear Leader with convicted sex trafficking pedophile–you might not have known.

Which could finally explain the shock and horror– and the outright rejection of the party line.

Could this be the tipping point? There was an awful lot of anger from the right over the weekend; even Hitler Mini-me Nick Fuentes pronounced MAGA dead and “good riddance.” Did I miss a falling out between that POS and MAGA?

And for the record, Pam Bondi has always been trash.

We did finish watching Too Much last night, and kudos to both Megan Stalter and Will Sharpe for inhabiting the main characters and their relationship. They really had great chemistry together, and Sharpe is both charismatic and handsome. He looked familiar, and I think it’s because when he was on season 2 of The White Lotus (which also got him an Emmy nomination) all the gay sites were posting shots of him from the show in his underwear, so he was kind of everywhere but not in a way that would stick in my mind (I looked him up, and once I saw the pictures from The White Lotus I knew where I knew him from). We really enjoyed the show and the romance between their characters. I don’t know if there will be a second season or not; the first season kind of definitively ended, but I can also see how they could spring a second season out of that ending.

I did do some more filing and cleaning around here yesterday, and ordered some groceries for delivery. I have to stop again on my way home from the office to get a couple of things I couldn’t order, but based on my bloodwork from the other day I probably should cut ice cream and some other high-sugar foods out of my life again. I’ve reached the weight I’d like to stay at (actually, I’m a bit heavier than my preference), so it’s time to start eating in a more healthy manner again.

I’m taking Megan Abbott’s new one with me to read during the two hours of the infusion, primarily to keep me off my phone, and get back into the swing of reading. Tonight I am going to put my editing hat back on and start tearing through all the things I need to get written by the end of the month. I’m not really sure what we are going to watch next, but I know I want to see the new Taron Edgerton show on Apple Plus; I’m a fan, what can I say? But we may have to wait until it finishes airing to stream it all at once.

And on that note, I am heading on out there. Have a lovely Monday, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back tomorrow morning with a report about whether or not the infusion made me tired again.

While My Heart is Still Beating

Sunday morning and my headache is back. Paul had Aleve on hand (I was out) and that made the headache and stiff neck go away yesterday; I will definitely be taking some more in a moment as well as having some in the groceries I am having delivered later on today. Yesterday was another lazy day in which I did very little, as I spent yesterday afternoon’s massive thunderstorm getting caught up on the Epstein files scandal. I’m kind of impressed that this is what it took to turn MAGA–and they aren’t all completely turned, either; they are roasting Pam Bondi (who has been notorious garbage since her service as Attorney General of Florida–the multi-divorced hypocrite fought same-sex marriage as much as she could with her limited brain) and many are still focusing their rage on her rather than her boss–does anyone believe Bondi wouldn’t release it all if her foul lord and master told her to? Therefore, it stands to reason that the monster is the one telling her not to; and why would that be? I can absolutely believe the Biden administration did not release it all–not to protect Democrats, but to avoid the accusations of political partisanship that would have rung out from Mar-a-Lago, Fox, and Newsmax like a clarion bell.

I mean, that does sound like the way the Democratic Party thinks and operates, doesn’t it? Putting country (and in some cases, donors–looking at you, Fetterman) first and ahead of party is very much a Democratic thing, which could be why they lose so much. If Biden believed releasing the information wouldn’t be good for the country, he wouldn’t release it, period. (Not to going to lie, the Democratic Party has disappointed me time and again throughout my life–but I keep voting for them because at least they finally came around on queer rights. And no, #notallDemocrats, but at least they aren’t trying to take our rights away actively, the way MAGA is.

By the time the thunderstorms passed, I was worn out emotionally from the rollercoaster of getting caught up on the news, and not really in the mood to do much of anything. I spent the rest of the evening researching history for current projects, and then we watched more of Too Much. I have to say I am really impressed with Megan Stalter’s performance as the main character; it’s a completely different character than she plays on Hacks, and she really is convincing. The last episode we watched, which explores the relationship she had that ended badly, and is why she moved to London, was heartbreaking, and that was entirely due to her performance.

I didn’t even read anything yesterday. I never unloaded the dishwasher, we didn’t go to Costco, we didn’t go see Superman (which is getting RAVE reviews everywhere, which makes me happy as I have always been a Superman stan), and nothing much is different about the house from yesterday morning. Sigh. I was thinking about making a grocery run, but think I may just have stuff delivered and pick up other stuff on the way home tomorrow. I also have an infusion tomorrow morning (Part II) so I get to sleep a little later in the morning, too. I’m hoping I won’t be as dog-tired and fatigued as I was after the first one, but…it remains to be seen. I do wonder if the lackadaisical way I felt all last week, and the low energy, was from not taking the steroid anymore. I may ask about that tomorrow at the infusion center.

Other than the headache, though, I feel pretty good this morning. Once I finish this I am going to run upstairs and take some Aleve to knock out this headache, and then I am going to make a grocery list for ordering. I am going to do my chores this morning–no need to get caught up on the news, since I did so much of that shit yesterday–and then I am going to try to get the kitchen and living room under some kind of control, some semblance of order before reading and writing. The Wimbledon men’s final is this morning, but I don’t think I’ll turn that on–as it is too easy to get sucked into the television and then sit there for the rest of the day; not going to lie, Sparky used me as a bed while I watched the news yesterday and I never want to disturb him when he’s being a love bug. He’s so sweet and adorable when he’s affectionate like that–which is why I wound up doing nothing but bonding with my cat.

And I know if I sit in my chair again, he’ll crawl up into my lap and go to sleep today, too.

My test results from Friday are back, and all seem to be okay as best as I can tell. The X-ray showed nothing wrong with my hip, but there’s a reason why my left thigh feels numb, right? We just have to figure out what is causing it. It’s not like it’s life-threatening or anything–but…I am immunocompromised now, and I am not entirely sure what all that means, or how it will affect me physically. I guess I should find out at some point, right?

And on that note, I am going to head upstairs and grab some Aleve. I am also hungry, so am going to have to make something else to eat this morning….nice that my appetite, absent for the last few days, is back again. Have a lovely Sunday, sorry about the political chatter, and I will be back tomorrow morning or even perhaps later!

The Martyrdom of St. Denis

No Way Out

Work at home Friday, and I’ve already gotten my bloodwork done and my X-rays taken. It was amazingly easy and took very little time. I drove over to Touro this morning and was out of Quest Labs by 8:10, after which I took the pedestrian bridge across the street to Touro Hospital, and was all X-rayed and back in my car by 8:30 and home by 8:35! It all went so easily and quickly I never had a chance to open the book I brought with me–Megan Abbott’s El Dorado Drive–so that will have to wait until I take a break at some point today. I am very excited to have a new Megan Abbott to read; I’ve been a huge fan since I read Bury Me Deep for an award over fifteen years ago, I think? I have now read all of her works, and so always anxiously await the arrival of a new one. I think we’re going to Costco when I finish my work today, and this weekend we’ll be seeing Superman–the MAGA outrage only serving to whet my appetite for the film all the more. The apartment is, of course, it’s usual disaster area this morning, but the dishwasher is running and I’m about to start the laundry. Getting there!

I also need to get back on my writing horse. The headache (which I still have) this week has been highly annoying and has interfered with most of my intellectual pursuits this week, which truly sucks. I still get new ideas all the time–that curse will carry me to the grave, methinks–but I’m struggling to actually get writing done. This is what happens when you fall off the wagon and don’t write for a while; you get out of practice–at least I do, and it’s hard to get back into that groove again, which kind of sucks. I am hoping that this weekend will do the trick for me. I don’t feel tired this morning (just the damned headache), and actually feel pretty awake, so maybe today will be a good day.

I was groggy most of yesterday at work–that Thursday malaise–and made groceries on my way home from the office AND picked up the mail. Sparky was pretty needy and I was tired by the time I got home, so I just sat in my chair getting caught up on the news–always a depressing slog–until Paul got home. We finished MurderBot last night, and was sorry to see it end, frankly. Would I find Alexander Skarsgard as charming and likable if he wasn’t gorgeous? But the actor and character are certainly perfectly matched, and when I looked it up last night the show has been renewed for a second season, which could be difficult to pull off–given the finale of the first season. We’ll give it a go, of course–the one thing I prefer about Apple+ to Prime and Netflix is they give shows more than one season.

I wish they’d bring The Morning Show back for another season.

And football season looms just over the horizon, too.

And the demon cat has grown bored with attacking me and has disappeared. *Whew*, now I can get some things done without getting bitten and clawed. (He’s just playing, I know, but that doesn’t make the teeth or claws any less sharp and skin-piercing!) I feel pretty good–the coffee is hitting the spot and my breakfast is going down well. I’m not as hungry as I was since getting out of the hospital, so maybe my body is settling back into being what it normally was. I’ve not had dinner–or had any desire for it–since Monday night; which was also the last day I was on the steroid. Maybe the headache is steroid withdrawal? It could be.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Friday, and I’ll be back either tonight or tomorrow morning.

The Space Between

Thursday morning and still suffering from my sinuses. Bloody hell! Yesterday the headache plagued me for most of the day, and of course the air conditioning in the office made me want to curl up and sleep after yesterday’s thunderstorm. It’s going to rain for most of the day today, and so I’ll run my errands in the rain today after work. At least we made it to Thursday, right? Tomorrow morning I have to get up and get bloodwork done as well as get my left hip X-rayed; I’m not sure if I have told you about that already, Constant Reader, and don’t want to bore you with information I’ve shared previously, but…when I was sick, I would lose my balance and start to fall–unexpectedly and at any time. Walking out to get a delivery, I lost my balance and fell sideways into the fence. My leg bothered me after that, but I just assumed I had bruised it. Before I saw my primary care doctor I realized that my leg still felt bruised, but it should have healed. I also realized that what I thought was bruising was actually numbness, so I am getting my hip X-rayed to see if it’s a pinched nerve or something else.

Here’s hoping it doesn’t involve another surgery. Christ.

We finished watching We Were Liars and I must confess to some disappointment with the show’s “big twist,” which sort of explained some of the issues I was having with the plot, but…yeah. It also opened up even more questions–things were mentioned during the season, but never explained later. I suppose the ending left a second season as a possibility–which would also account for not wrapping up some of those subplots–but I don’t know if we’re onboard with more of the show, honestly. I can’t explain my disappointment without giving spoilers, and I don’t want to ever do that, in case you may want to watch. Maybe you’ll enjoy it and not see the problems we noted while watching.

Again, last night, when I got home I didn’t do much of anything. I tried to edit and revise for a while but it really was like pulling teeth so I finally gave up and sat in my chair with Sparky. I didn’t do any of the chores I needed to do last night, so I will have to do them when I get home tonight. (I’ll have to ignore Sparky’s pleas to sit in my easy chair–not easy because he is very spoiled and used to getting what he wants.) I think maybe this week my body is getting used to not taking the steroid every morning. I’ve noticed also that I am not that hungry as I was and am not eating as much as I was just last week. It could also be that my body thinks it’s reached the proper weight for me, so is signaling I don’t need to eat more. I don’t know. I just know that the last couple of days I’ve not eaten as much breakfast or lunch as I did last week, and I’ve not eaten anything for dinner either day. It can’t be coincidence that my appetite disappeared as soon as I stopped taking the prednisone, can it? The weight gain seems to have tapered off a bit; I weighed two pounds more this morning than I did last week, which is always within the margin of error because of water weight. (Most people’s weight fluctuates up and down in the range of three pounds either way.)

I feel good this morning–the sinus headache is still there and may not be going away any time soon; it may not be sinus related, either. I noticed this morning that my neck is a little stiff (it has been all week), and when I move my head a certain way, I am aware of the stiffness AND the headache. The headache itself isn’t constant; I only feel it every few seconds and it feels like a sharp object is being stuck in my head on the top but just behind the ear. It may be related to the neck stiffness.

Sigh. Being old really sucks sometimes.

But as we head into my work-at-home day and the weekend, I am hoping to be able to get a lot done (don’t I always?). I know we are going to go see Superman (the MAGA boycott only makes the film more appealing to me) this weekend, and I’ll need to do some things–like wash the car and make groceries–so I am hoping it will be a good weekend.

There’s always hope.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Friday Eve, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back tomorrow, probably after the blood draw and so forth. We’ll see how it goes.

Former collegiate wrestler and now a fitness influencer @wrestle.chris on Instagram–there may even be an OnlyFans, too—I just checked and yes, there are links on his Insta to OnlyFans.