Tag: mental-health

18 Wheels and a Dozen Roses

Monday morning and back to the office with me today. I slept well last night and feel alive and awake this morning, so huzzah for that at any rate. I don’t know how busy we are today in the clinic, but it’s just me for now and going forward for I don’t know how long and so I don’t know how tired I will be getting this week at work, either. Meh, we’ll see how it all goes, won’t we? It was a nice weekend of not getting a lot done, which is okay. I felt drained yesterday, and very low energy, so mostly spent the day in my chair with Sparky watching research videos1; I also made a lot of notes in my journal, which is always a good thing. I wasn’t particularly motivated, either. I also read for a while into my Donna Andrews book, but wasn’t really able to focus a lot and thus didn’t read much, but it was a nice start. Maybe this week and this weekend I can get the book finished; I can also take it with me on the trip to finish, if need be. It’s hard to believe that next week is actually Thanksgiving already, and time for my lengthy drive up north. Heavy sigh. But it’ll be very nice to be up there, methinks, and despite the inevitable exhaustion and fatigue that will come from said drive, I’ll enjoy spending time with Dad.

And I am not going to worry about writing or doing anything while I am up there, other than reading and resting and relaxing….since that is all that ever happens when I am up there. Which is not a bad thing, I am learning that taking down time to recalibrate and rest and recharge my batteries WITHOUT GUILT is actually necessary, and I am tired of beating myself up all the time because I am not more driven than I already am, you know? One of my goals for this year was to be kinder to myself, and that’s kind of going fairly well. I still slip back into the old, self-defeating mentality every once in a while, though, but it’s not a daily thing and not being anxious all the time is also kind of nice.

I’ve also been paging through The Late Great Planet Earth by Hal Lindsey, and remembering now how stupid the whole thing was when I first read the book when I was in my teens and soaking up conspiracy theories and strange history2; for Lindsey’s writings and interpretations to be correct, they are predicated on two things: one, you have to believe the Bible is literal truth, and that not a single word in it was ever changed over millennia. Considering the original Christian schism (Rome v. Constantinople) was about the West adding words to the Bible…(the filioque controversy) so yeah, that shows Lindsey’s theories, conclusions, interpretations and writings begin with a logical fallacy, and thus, can they really be believed at this point? Please remember that some of his writings in the 1960s have since, all claims to the contrary, been proven false. There’s going to be an absolutely marvelous essay coming out of this revisiting, as part of my essay series on religion.

We also watched more episodes of Lazarus last night, leaving the finale for tonight. I am really enjoying the show, and it is all making so much more sense to me than it was initially; I don’t know how the supernatural aspects of the story are going to be explained, but it’s a fun show to watch, with plenty of marvelous twists and surprises. Not sure what is up for our next binge, but I want to watch Frankenstein before leaving for my trip. LSU plays Western Kentucky this weekend, which may not even be televised, and I am not really sure about other big games coming on this weekend. I am still kind of in shock that Alabama lost to Oklahoma again for the second year in a row, and if they don’t make the playoffs again, their coach is going to be in a very warm chair. There’s a lot of talk swirling about Lane Kiffen leaving Mississippi for either LSU or Florida, but I don’t see it, honestly. Both states have shitty governors and legislators who have no problem with sticking their fingers into the flagship university’s affairs, and he pretty much has free rein up in Oxford. (I stand corrected; LSU is playing Saturday night at the same time as Florida-Tennessee.) It’ll be interesting, I guess.

We also watched the ice dance and women’s finals for Skate America yesterday, which was pretty cool. I think we’re going to field a pretty good Olympic team in figure skating this cycle.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Monday, Constant Reader, and I’ll check in with you again tomorrow morning,.

  1. Saw a really excellent one about the 1054 Christian schism, when Roman Catholicism divorced Eastern Orthodoxy. I also saw some interesting videos about the birth of Zionism and how the current Middle Eastern problems initially developed, and it always goes back to Rome, doesn’t it? ↩︎
  2. This isn’t the only “conspiracy theory” style book I read and saw the flaws in said theory immediately; I also thought Erich von Daniken’s work and Holy Grail Holy Blood (the basis for The Da Vinci Code, for the record) were full of holes, as were Graham Hancock’s….and I was just a teenager. ↩︎

Something in the Orange

Work at home Friday, and all is well, at least as well as can be expected on this fine morning. I do have some meetings to attend via ZOOM this morning, and then I am going to get all my data entry and quality assurance finished before running an errand or two and doing chores–I am thinking about saving the really big cleaning efforts for tomorrow during college football. The LSU game is in the morning (v. Arkansas; my supervisor went there and is going to her first game in Tiger Stadium…as a fan for the visitors; I don’t know that I would do that, honestly–go to an away LSU game. Fans can really be assholes), which is an example of how far both programs have fallen, and I don’t even know who’s playing during the rest of day nor do I care; it’s going to be background noise while I write and clean and read.

It’s kind of nice not being vested in this season, actually.

My friend Angel Luis Colon posted a hilarious burn on pro-pedophile skank Megyn Kelly yesterday; More like Megyn R. Kelly…which was incredibly spot on. It’s also been a lot of fun watching MAGA and their spokes-trash, like Kelly and bottom feeder Jesse Waters and CNN’s sad excuse for a man Scott Jennings desperately spinning, after ten years of calling Democrats pedophiles and screaming for the Epstein files….that, you know, Ghislaine Maxwell, a trusted source and not biased at all, denied their foul god-emperor was involved despite all evidence to the contrary, or “fifteen isn’t really pedophilia it’s barely legal”1, or any of the other horrible talking points that were sent out to the loyal state media…if you weren’t convinced before that GOP stands for “guardians of pedophiles” or they are all lying liars who only care about power and oppression, I don’t know how you can deny any of it today, or play “what about.” My morality isn’t partisan, for the record, and if Obama and Clinton or any other Democrat is in the files, lock them up.

The fact these trash have spent the last decade fear-mongering queer and trans people and calling us pedophiles and groomers only to walk it all the way back and now defend grooming and pedophilia is really something to see.

I will never stop hating MAGA, ever. They’re unspeakably vile, monstrous excuses for human beings, and wrapping their monstrosity in religion is even more vile. Talk about taking their Lord’s name in vain…

I ran my errands after work and came home a bit tired, but not too terribly bad. I did the dishes, another load of laundry, and while I didn’t pick up or clean a whole lot around here last night, I did get some things done, so I am a little bit ahead of the game this morning. I have my meetings, as I mentioned, and then have some data entry to do. Later on, as I said, I’ll probably run some errands and make a bit of groceries so I can be in for the weekend. The weather has warmed up–I went outside to put the wagon away and it’s really nice out–which is a nice change (the cold is coming back; we’re getting a freeze, apparently, on Thanksgiving day itself); I do need to wash and clean out the car, but might wait until the weekend before I drive to Kentucky to do that.

I also want to do some writing and reading over the weekend, which is made easier by the LSU game being so early in the day. It’ll be over before three, and then I can get other things done around here as well. Last night when I got home I mostly got caught up on the news (not paying attention to it while I’m at work every day has been a blessing, really; I can focus on doing my job without my blood pressure–already medicated–rising, and that has made a difference. I am almost completely caught up on all day job duties; after today I think I will be current on everything, which is a really nice feeling. Now if I can apply the same logic to my writing….

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines for the day. You have a lovely day in whatever way you so desire, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back tomorrow before the LSU game.

This stele from the Karnak temple at Luxor looks other-wordly in this light…
  1. Barely legal means legal, you stupid fucks, not legal in three more years. ↩︎

The Bird Hunters

Wednesday!

It was cold here yesterday, but we didn’t get any snow, more’s the pity. I actually enjoyed the snow days we had earlier this year; it was so weird and beautiful, and the way it made the city look was also strangely gorgeous. I screen-shot or grabbed so many pictures of it from all over the Internet…I am even thinking about setting a Scotty during the snow (Bayou Blizzard Boogie, which is an extremely fun title, and the book could get one of those snowy images of the city for the cover and…this is how my brain works, y’all, and you wonder why I question my sanity at times? What do you mean, you don’t wonder about it because it’s so obvious? How very dare you! lol). But the cold is now gone; it’s in the fifties this morning, with a high predicted in the seventies, so we’re back to normal weather for New Orleans November.

Yesterday was a good day, more or less. Yes, we were busy at work and yes, I was the only counselor working in the clinic (the rest of the week and month, it looks like), but I got through it. I’m a little behind again on admin duties, but I think I’ll be able to catch up this afternoon. The morning was back to back when I last looked yesterday, but the afternoon wasn’t quite as intense. I managed to get home and do chores last night (huzzah!) before settling in to finish off The Diplomat‘s third season, which is spectacular. HIGHLY recommend this show; if you’ve not already seen it, jump in head first. You won’t regret it.

I also started making my to-do list yesterday; yes, it’s rather late to make a weekly to-do list, but I can make a new one every Monday and ease my way back into the habit of the lists and following them; the organization of this pleases my anxiety to no end. I need to put “clean out inbox” on it, because the list of my unanswered emails is getting rather lengthy, and there are few things I like better than opening my inbox and seeing nothing in it. I do not miss the days of volunteer work that resulted in hundreds more emails every week. The problem is when there’s not a lot to answer it’s very easy to blow it off for another day, and since I always lose track of days and time, next thing I know it’s been a few weeks! My apologies to anyone who’s expecting an email from me…

But it’s actually been a good week. No fatigue, which has been marvelous, and just normal being 64 tired, which is lovely. My body has been through the ringer already this decade, and so it’s not that unusual for me to still not be back to whatever the new normal is going to be. I worried that the fatigue and exhaustion was the new normal, but that doesn’t appear to be the case. The most important thing for me to do is ensure I never have a relapse with the colitis, although it will never ever get as bad as it was when I had to be hospitalized, since we now know what the problem is and it doesn’t need to be diagnosed, and my GI specialist will know what to do to get me through it as quickly as possible. I don’t think I’ll ever lose that much weight that quickly ever again, either. DO NOT RECOMMEND.

I also started organizing bigger projects for my newsletter. Ooooh, Gregalicious, explain more! I’ve been wanting to tackle two subjects there–masculinity and religion–but have been hesitant because they are such big topics, and there is some crossover between the two. It occurred to me this weekend that I could simply pick subjects that fall under either umbrella and post/write/share as chapters. How cool! (I’d also been idly thinking about writing a continuing story there when the lightbulb went on over my head; it is truly sad how oblivious I can be to the obvious.) So, now I am pulling all the essay ideas I have for either topic into one document with a descriptive paragraph–an outline, if you will–so I can get started with both: the masculinity essays will go under the over-arching umbrella of “Are You Man Enough?” and religion will go under “Recovering Christian.”

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely midweek Wednesday, Constant Reader, and I will check in with you again tomorrow.

The Ramses II temple at Abu Simbel at night. This must be beautiful to see from the Nile.

I Hold On

Well, here we are on an extremely cold Tuesday morning and it is very chilly here in the work station here in the kitchen; I don’t even want to think about how cold the floor would be against bare feet (which is why I have a very comfortable pair of house shoes). It is bitterly cold outside this morning; about thirty-one degrees, per the local weather. It ends tonight, by the way, and we’ll recede back into fall from winter tomorrow (highs in the high 60s, low 70s) with a chance at winter coming back relatively soon. I just laughed at myself for talking about the weather; I kind of do that every day, don’t I?

Then again, I am sixty-four, and the right age to sit outside a country store in a rocking chair wearing a railroad cap and overalls and chewing tobacco. There, but for choices…but I don’t think old men hang around outside the country store/gas station in rural areas anymore; that’s part and parcel of my childhood and that world doesn’t really exist anymore, much as I’d like to think that it does. It often crops up when I am writing about Alabama–because that’s how I remember it, and that Alabama is so far gone in the rear view mirror it cannot even be seen.

Despite Chuckie and the Quislings, yesterday was also a lovely day because that horrible witch Kim Davis’ appeal of the six figure settlement awarded to a couple that sued her skank cosplay christian ass for refusing to issue a marriage license for them? Yeah, for once the Supreme Court did the right thing and refused to hear her case. Womp fucking womp, bitch. Have fun in bankruptcy hell. Maybe your buddies in the Huckabee family will help you pay off that oh-so-deserved debt liability, you miserable bitch. Now you can slink back to the bog you slithered out of, and you will forever be known as a hateful bitch deserted by the people who used her to try to overturn Obergefell1, which SCOTUS is just itching to do (her case wasn’t good enough for even those partisan hacks to overturn their previous decision; they’re waiting for the right one, you know. They have lifetime appointments and aren’t going anywhere soon). Just like the murdering thugs George Zimmerman and that pasty Mama’s soft boy whose name I can’t even remember at the moment, they abandoned her as soon as she ceased to be of use to them. What a shame.

I was tired last night when I got home from the errands in the cold. Well, tired isn’t the right word; more like I felt drained and listless. The apartment wasn’t cold, but I didn’t really feel 100% most of the day, either. I feel better this morning–not much of a reach there–so maybe I’ll be able to get some things done tonight when I get home from work, whether it’s writing or reading my Donna Andrews mystery. (I have to say, when I was moving stuff around on the end table–reordering the TBR Next Pile; Wanda Morris is up next–and I opened the book to just take a look at the opening…and she talks about the mass suicide at Igbo Landing, which I’ve been reading about!!! I cannot wait to read this book now! I should also see how far behind I am on Wanda’s work….and it’s only this one I’ve not gotten to yet. Huzzah! Note to self: email her.) I also have dishes to put away and dishes to put in the dishwasher. Sigh. There are worse things, after all.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Tuesday, Constant Reader, and I’ll check in with you again on Midweek Wednesday morning.

  1. She also needs to keep Jesus out of her skank mouth. Jesus never once preached arrogance in the faith or cruelty. You, madam, are arrogant in your faith AND cruel. Enjoy doing the breaststroke in the lake of eternal fire, blasphemer. ↩︎

Mercy Now

Monday and its back to the office with me this morning. It’s also cold; before you mock me, it’s in the forties, and I had to turn the heat1 on when I got up this morning otherwise I’d freeze after my shower. I slept decently, but woke up a few times during the night yet had no trouble rising up out of the warmth of my heavy covers into the chill of the apartment. I was also feeling a bit under the weather when I woke up, but my coffee and being awake are making me feel better by the moment. I laid out my clothes before slipping under the covers last night, and was happy to put out not only my tights but a sweater. I do love wearing a sweater, and it’s also soup/chili weather, too, which is always pleasant. I know the cold is going to last through tomorrow, getting even colder; not sure what happens beyond Tuesday and not really caring about it, in all honesty. There’s never any point to looking beyond two days because the forecast always changes.

Looks like winter is here!

Yesterday was kind of a nice lazy day. I devoted myself to mostly reading. I finished reading The Hunting Wives, which I really enjoyed, and even started writing my newsletter about the book and the show. I also read some short stories, and reread some of my own writing that I want to work on this week. I’m not really sure why I wasn’t motivated to work much this past weekend, but there it is, and there we go, you know? The fact that I am not beating myself up over this is nice, but a bit weird. Anxiety medication, perhaps? It could be, I don’t know. I was worried that taking my anxiety away might be problematic for me doing my work and not worrying about finishing anything on time; which could also be just another example of the anxiety riddling my brain. Oy. Why do I always make things worse for myself? A mystery that will never be solved, methinks.

I am so angry about the Senate Democrats that I am not going to post about it just yet. I’ve hated Schumer now for years; how did this milquetoast quisling ever become a senate party leader? Best not be hitting me up for any donations for the foreseeable future, trust me on that. I may even go back and register as an Independent again, because I am no longer sure I want to be considered part of this pathetic bunch of losers. As for Tim Kaine, henceforth I will be referring to him as “the reason Hillary lost and this nightmare began”. Fuck that fascist-adjacent piece of shit now and forever. Fuck all the Neville and the Chamberlains bandmembers, now and forever, forever and ever, amen. Especially doing this so soon after the voting public gave the Fascists a major rebuke. Way to piss on your voters and base, asswipes.

I hope I live long enough to complete my “pissing on traitors’ graves” tour of the country.

I didn’t feel so hot when I got up this morning, which was kind of tied to my restless sleep. I made dinner last night and thus ate a big meal later in the evening than I am used to, and I think that stomach distress is what bothered me all night and into this morning. But my toast and sausage breakfast sandwich seem to have settled things down abdominally, and I am feeling pretty great at the moment….which could just be a caffeine high. But that’s okay; even if it does wear off later. I have to run some errands on my way home from work on this cold day (tonight is going to be even colder! Eeee!), and order some things for delivery (which I will probably do tomorrow), before I can get my ass back into the warmth of my apartment, the comfort of my easy chair, and a purring kitty sleeping in my lap while I start reading Donna Andrews’ Between a Flock and a Hard Place, which will enable me to listen to one of her Christmas novels on the way back from Kentucky in a few weeks. Huzzah!

Oh, and the Supreme Court declined to hear Kim Davis’ appeal to them to overturn Obergefell. I’m happy about this, of course, but I can’t believe the fascist conservatives on the court would pass up a chance to fuck over the queers, so they must have another card to play at some point in the future, rest assured. The fucks always have a plan.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines on this chilled morning. Have a great day, Constant Reader, and I’ll check in with you again tomorrow–on an even more chilled morning!

The ceiling of the temple at Luxor, Egypt
  1. It is so lovely having an HVAC system that works properly; the apartment was comfortable when I went up to shower; and the working HVAC is probably part and parcel of why I don’t mind the cold so much anymore. ↩︎

You’ll Think of Me

Work-at-home Friday, and not a single meeting on my agenda for the day. Huzzah! I really hate meetings; I always have, primarily because so many of them fall into the “this could have been an email” category.

Yesterday was a very good day. Yes, I was alone in the clinic yesterday without a nurse, but we weren’t terribly busy and I was able to get a lot of my Admin duties–the ones that have to be done in the office–finished. I am almost completely caught up on everything, and I have been doing a very good job of keeping up with everything rather than the ever-popular meh, I can do it tomorrow thinking I so often fall into. But I’ve not been tired this week, which probably had to do with the time change and sleeping an hour later (technically) than I was. Once I am used to it, I’ll probably go back to being sleepy and tired all the time again. Something to look forward to?

And in other delightful news, a jury of his peers found Sean Dunn not guilty of a misdemeanor for throwing a Subway sandwich at an ICE agent, or “assault with a deadly sandwich.” This entire case–and that this went to fucking trial–is yet another indicator of the Keystone Cops-like approach to governance in this current “administration” and its authoritarian Fascistic policies. My personal favorite was the “victim” testifying about his PTSD from the sandwich exploding…despite the fact the sandwich can clearly be seen afterward, on the ground, still in its wrapper. I guess Mr. Alpha Male Ice Agent will be forever traumatized by the smell of onions and mustard. Grow a pair, you little bitch–balls or ovaries, I don’t care which. And seriously, everyone–yes, their grasp on power means their idiocy and fascism is scary, but this is yet another example of what whiny cry-babies the right are. Fuck them and forever, seriously. Their posturing has no basis or courage behind it.

As I said, when I got home from work last night, I wasn’t tired or fatigued; my hips didn’t even ache. I didn’t do a whole lot of anything around here, either; I caught up on watching the news and did some organizing of computer files, and I did write for a little while. It was, all in all, a very nice and relaxing evening at home. Before I start my work duties this morning, I am going to make a to-do list and put the dishes away and finish the laundry. I am thinking today is going to be my “don’t leave the house at all” day for the weekend–tomorrow I’ll make a short grocery run and get the mail–and hopefully this day, and the weekend, will be productive as well as relaxing. This morning, Sparky let me sleep in a bit before I finally got up, which was very appreciated. I feel good and rested this morning, and it looks to be a lovely day. This weekend we’re going to have extremely cold temperatures over night–potential freeze, too–so it’s a good “stay in my chair under a blanket” weather. I want to finish reading The Hunting Wives this weekend, and get started on my next book. I am going to go back to the pre-Halloween Horror Month methodology for reading something new to me, rereading something else, and reading a juvenile/young adult novel all at the same time. Maybe I can swap one of those out for nonfiction? I don’t know, we’ll have to see how The Hunting Wives goes this weekend. I’d also like to finish another newsletter essay, whether it’s the one about Boots or the one about going to my dad’s high school homecoming game when I was last in Alabama.

And of course, there’s always computer files to clean up and hard copy filing to do, too. And the chores; but I tried to keep up with them as much as I could this past week, so the downstairs isn’t too terrible.

I also can’t keep horror out of my mind, probably because I immersed myself so thoroughly in the genre for all of October. But watching those podcasts on Youtube about Appalachian/Southern lore and legend has been incredibly inspirational for my own horror writing. I’d also like to get some good foundational work done on Chlorine this weekend, too. I’m also still glowing from the election results from Tuesday; it’s nice to experience the audacity of hope again.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Friday, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back on the morrow!

We really have the most gorgeous sky here.

Lookin’ for Love

…in all the wrong places1…

Thursday and my last day in the office for this week. How exciting! I have no idea what the weekend holds for me; I know I will watch the LSU game for a while, but if it goes the way I’m expecting it to I won’t need to watch after half-time. I’m not sure what other games are this weekend, but I’ll have the television on for sure playing games all day while I do other things, like pick up and clean and read and write and all the other fun things I get to do every weekend. I was a bit tired yesterday when I got off from work yesterday (I started to say night, but is it night at five? The sun was still up…sort of), but came straight home. I did some chores (laundry, the dishes) and picked up some around the kitchen. I also caught up on the news (I am really enjoying the MAGA meltdown2, because I am far pettier than they could ever hope to be), and then did a little writing–not much, just a smidgen. But it still counts!

Paul won’t be home tonight until I’ve probably fallen asleep; he’s going to some gala event fundraiser. I probably should go and be Mrs. Festival, but I’ll be so tired I’d fall asleep in a chair somewhere. I feel like I slept well–my mind is alert and other than some ache in my hips, everything else feels fine, which is definitely odd for a Thursday. I’m alone and without a nurse in the clinic again today, but I also don’t think we’re going to be very busy, either. I feel much better overall since my injection on Monday, which is very cool. Maybe I’ll actually be able to get some writing done tonight, since I have the house to myself. Stranger things have happened. Or I’ll just watch some more videos about Appalachian legend and lore. I am really enjoying these, as well as the “Dixie After Dark” podcast, which is really interesting and fun to listen to…and inspirational.

I finally got my email inbox cleared out yesterday, and I definitely like having an empty inbox. I usually fall behind on it, slowly but surely, and a trip will always make me fall behind. Now that my anxiety is (mostly) under control these days, having a full inbox no longer makes me tense and nervous. Weird, I know, but a leftover from serving on boards and getting buried in blizzards of emails. I had to stay current on my email then in order to not get so far behind I could never catch up…but that is certainly no longer the case, so it’s never that much work to empty it, to be honest, and I love that for me.

This week’s episode of Real Housewives of Salt Lake City wasn’t as good as last week’s–a very high bar to clear–but I was highly entertained for the entire episode and never got bored–you never get bored with this cast. I also have to applaud production, because it’s very clear they know what people are watching for and they camp the show up considerably, making it even more fun than just the usual women-screaming-at-each-other-over-petty -shit. I did laugh multiple times, and it took me out of the our present doom-scape (like the election results did; I think my favorite outcome of all was the ouster of the Moms for Liberty3 skanks from school boards everywhere, including red states, cities, and counties. Fuck off, Libs of Tiktok, now and forever. Odd that your concern for children doesn’t extend to voting for and supporting pedophiles. It’s like you don’t really care about children as anything other than political pawns, which is both reprehensible and evil.

Turns out most Americans think you’re scum, too.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Thursday, Constant Reader, and I’ll check in with you again tomorrow.

  1. Yes, I remember when Urban Cowboy came out and country went more mainstream. I remember a bar in Emporia even put in a mechanical bull–and no, I never did it myself. ↩︎
  2. Also was able to use the Islamophobic posts to block and delete people from my feed. I stand for no bigotry and never want to see it on my feed. The Debra Messing meltdown was something else entirely, but I was never a fan of hers. Maybe someday I’ll critique Will and Grace. ↩︎
  3. Any group that puts “liberty” in their name actually is fascist and should be side-eyed and blocked from any electoral office. ↩︎

Wagon Wheel

Looks like Wednesday Pay-the-Bills Day has rolled around again, woo-hoo! Apparently another cold front is swooping down on us from the frozen north; temperatures dipping down into the forties (!!!!) this weekend. The meteorologists are also saying we’re done with temperatures in the 80s until spring–but I am not holding my breath on that one. New Orleans weather always has a habit of making forecasters look foolish because, well, it’s New Orleans weather. It snowed earlier this year, for example.1 But I am actually enjoying this respite from the heat and humidity, and I am sleeping like a stone every night since the weather changed, which is delightful. Even the time change wasn’t as disruptive as it usually is–although last night I fell asleep in my chair around eight-ish, which used to be nine-ish. But I don’t mind. I didn’t get much done when I got home from work yesterday, because I was feeling tired, and Sparky was feeling needy. I did run some errands on the way home, getting the mail and picking up prescriptions (two more will be ready for pick-up today, I think), but once I was home, I didn’t really do a lot of anything. I was on edge a bit about yesterday’s elections, but checked the news before going to bed and saw that the Reich Wing was getting trounced everywhere–so much for MAGA’s popularity–and was even more delighted to see this morning that those results held. Three seats in Mississippi’s state house flipped Democratic, too–in Mississippi. MISSISSIPPI. Think about that for a moment…and what it implies about the midterms. I’m feeling hopeful, at least for this morning at any rate.

Darth Cheney died, and there was a massive blue wave. Who could ask for anything more? If voters are this angry with MAGA now, imagine how the midterms could go. What a lovely way for November to start, am I right?

Today is going to be a busy one at work. Our nurse is out, and it’s just me in the clinic today. Undoubtedly I will be exhausted when I get home tonight, but I also decided last night to go back and finish reading The Hunting Wives (which was interrupted by Halloween Horror Month), since I was only a chapter into the Scott Carson. I will be rejiggering my reading schedule and what is up next over the next few days. I do need to get caught up a bit on my Donna Andrews, so I can listen to one of her Christmas mysteries on the way up to Kentucky later this month for Thanksgiving. I am not dreading that drive as much as I usually do, and I suppose this is the first major test of the recovery, isn’t it? Twelve hours in a car? But the key is to take my time and not get stressed about anything, and I may even try going a different way–through Nashville and up the Cumberland Parkway. Anything to avoid Chatta-fucking-nooga. I’ll drive home the old way, most likely, but it’s not a bad thing to shake things up a little bit, is it?

I did watch some more Appalachian lore videos last night, which are always fun and inspiring. I started thinking about the next Scotty last night–trying to land on a title and a time of the year, leaning towards Halloween Party Hijinks–which is also kind of fun. I have no idea what the plot of that would be, but I always have to have the title and the time of the year first. Does it make any sense? Not in the least, but I am extremely different from every other writer out there; not better nor worse, just different when it comes to writing and the writing process. I want to work some more on my novella tonight, too. So far, tomorrow looks like a very easy day in the clinic, despite again not having a nurse and working the schedule entirely on my own, which will wear me out for sure.

Oh, and People named Jonathan Bailey as the first openly gay Sexiest Man Alive. Yesterday was a very good day, wasn’t it? To be fair, he definitely is one of the sexiest men alive, and it’s not something that I ever pay that much attention to–the last one I remember was the joke selection of Blake Shelton (bitch, please) and that was nearly ten years ago–but this is landmark, and also a bitch-slap to the mouth-breathing haters. I’m actually surprised President Stillson hasn’t whined about never being picked for this…

And on that note, I should pay some bills before I head into the office.

Have a lovely mid-week Wednesday, and I will be back tomorrow morning for sure, for sure.

  1. The snow days, and the novelty of snow, was fun…but not something I want to experience all the time. ↩︎

You’re the Reason Our Kids Are Ugly

You can always count on country music for great titles, you know? “Drop Kick Me Jesus (Through the Goalposts of Life)” remains an all-time favorite title for anything, really. But it’s Sunday morning of the time change, I got to sleep a bit more than usual, and I am feeling pretty good this morning. Paul was worn out from working on a grant into the wee hours of the morning yesterday, so we didn’t run any errands yesterday. I cleaned and organized for the most part–it was so lovely coming downstairs to a very clean and neat and orderly kitchen–and worked on filing and so forth. I decided to just give my brain the day off and not worry about either reading or writing anything or pressuring myself into something out of guilt, and it was kind of nice and relaxing.

I did watch some football games yesterday–well, had them on while I was doing other things, at any rate. The games I had on yesterday were Vanderbilt-Texas, Oklahoma-Tennessee, and Georgia-Florida. No one I was rooting for in any of these games won, and it was particularly galling to root for Tennessee and Florida1 (both of whom I despise), only to have them lose. They were all good games that kind of came down to the wire, and I was really hoping that Vandy would finish their comeback; they came soooo close. I’m rooting for them to go to the playoffs, to be honest; I almost always will root for an underdog program like theirs to shine when it gets a chance, you know? It’s also not being vested in the season anymore, too; now I can just kind of watch from a remote distant and make observations.

What I did do for the most part yesterday, as far as intellectual stimulation is concerned, was revisit The Haunting of Hill House a bit as I worked on my newsletter about the book and why I love it so much. It is such an extraordinary piece of writing, with so much left vague and uncertain that it’s very easy for the reader to fill in the blanks and interpret the story and the characters in their own way–and it’s also possible to read it very differently every time you read it, gleaning new thoughts and interpretations with each reread (like Rebecca, which also should be taught). I’m hoping to get it finished and posted either today or tomorrow, as part of Halloween Horror Month’s last gasp, which also includes reading another horror novel, too. (Finishing the one I started–the Scott Carson–before returning to The Hunting Wives and moving forward from there.) And props to me, he typed modestly, for really sticking with HHM and focusing on it. I had also wanted to rewatch Scream 2 and A Nightmare on Elm Street to talk about; I even thought about rewatching the original Halloween again, so I could write about all of them…but I managed to do most of the things I wanted to do for it, so it’s a win that I am feeling pleased on this chilly Sunday November morning.

And isn’t that mentally healthy? Before anxiety medication I would be bashing myself and feeling like a lazy loser, which has always been a self-perpetuating thing for me anyway. I consider that excellent progress, and by accepting it as a victory rather than as a loss, maybe I can start being a little kinder with myself. I would always set the bar for myself so damned high that it would be impossible for 99% of people to clear, let alone me, so I could berate myself and go through the entire “you’re such a lazy loser” cycle of mental self-abuse, including such treasured gems of self-defeat like this is why you never get anywhere or way to prove all those awful people right and on it goes, spiraling down into the Pit of Despair.

I really hate the Pit of Despair, and never, ever want to go back there.

We also watched this week’s The Morning Show, which was interesting and good (during the second half of the Tennessee game), and probably this evening will watch some more of our shows and possibly the Jurassic World movie we never got around the seeing in the theater this summer as well as our other shows, including The Diplomat, which is most excellent.

I’ve not commented on the weirdness between the couch-fucker and the the non-grieving, grifting widow in pleather pants so tight she must have gotten a yeast infection, mainly because the unholy alliance everyone is predicting developing on social media doesn’t interest me in the least. Yes, people grieve differently, but if there was an actual investigation into the gum-challenged one’s murder, she would be suspect number one; how many times have we seen someone convicted incorrectly because they didn’t grieve their spouse/children the way everyone thinks they should? I know one thing; if Paul was murdered, there would be no pyrotechnics and high production values for his funeral, and I wouldn’t be getting groped on national television mere months afterward. But sure, it’s same-sex marriage that is unnatural, right? My dad is still not over my mother, and it’s been almost three years.

Then again, Dad loved Mom. Not judging the Widow, mind you, but I do find it strange, but MAGA evangelicals are strange. Imagine if the Widow were Hillary Clinton, and what MAGA would say about her in this situation.

And on that note, I have some filing and reading to do. Have a lovely Sunday, Constant Reader, and I’ll see you tomorrow morning before I head into the office.

  1. I did see that Auburn somehow lost to Kentucky; which should be the obituary for Hugh Freeze’s career there. Glad I didn’t watch that. ↩︎

Ghost Riders in the Sky

Wednesday morning and I was tired yesterday. I’m not sure why that was; but I really hit a wall yesterday afternoon and thus skipped running errands after work. I came home, collapsed into my easy chair, and settled in for the evening. We watched two more episodes of The Diplomat after dinner, and then I stumbled up the stairs to bed. I feel like I slept much better last night, although I did wake up once or twice–wide awake at five, but stayed in bed until the alarm went off. It’s also supposed to be colder today, with a high no greater than the mid-sixties. THE COLD FRONT IS HERE. It does feel a bit cooler inside this morning, and the air hasn’t kicked on, so…but I feel comfortable rather than cold.

The pictures and news out of Jamaica doesn’t look great; Melissa is now battering Cuba, with tracks leading it away from the Gulf and up the Atlantic, away from shore. Apparently we’re in a high wind alert, particularly for Lake Pontchartrain and Lake Maurepas. Should make for an interesting drive to work this morning, at any rate, especially since I-10 is elevated over Claiborne Avenue almost the entire way.

Apparently there was an accident on I-59 yesterday that resulted in lab monkeys escaping in Mississippi. The monkeys were from Tulane’s research arm, and per news reporting, were infected with Hepatitis C, herpes (a particularly virulent kind) and COVID. As I rolled my eyes, I initially thought along the lines of “this is how it starts in all those plague thrillers, like Michael Crichton would write” but as I thought about it more, the involvement of an elite university in this along with two of the most poorly run states in the union had me thinking more along the lines of Carl Hiassen or an old Burt Reynolds caper movie; it really could go either way. I’m not an intricate plotter, though, and the thing with Hiassen is that he is a master at plotting. Because he writes funny, he doesn’t get the kind of recognition that other master crime writers do (funny is never taken as seriously as tragedy even though it is much harder to be funny), but I have nothing but the utmost respect for him, and Bad Monkey1 is probably my favorite funny novel that I’ve read so far.

But checking the news this morning, it seems like all the monkeys were killed…and they weren’t actually infected with anything. So it’s a tragedy, not a comedy, after all.

Since I feel so much more rested (mentally and physically) today I am hoping that I’ll be able to get some writing done when I get home tonight. I would like to get a first draft of a novella and a short story finished by the end of the weekend, and with no LSU game to watch that should make my weekend more of my own, you know? I do want to finish reading the Scott Carson novel I barely started last weekend, so between reading and writing and cleaning my weekend should be plenty full. I do have some errands to run on Friday once I finish my work-at-home duties, but other than that…I should be home for most of the weekend, other than the walks I need to start taking. I also need to start stretching, too.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Wednesday, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back in the morning for my last day in the office for the week blog. Till then, au revoir.

  1. The irony that my favorite funny caper/crime novel is titled Bad Monkey did not escape me. ↩︎