You Better Run

Friday morning and I am up early yet again to head into the office for a meeting, after which I can come home before I head to have labs done at two different places (one is an actual blood draw–Labcorp–and the other is to drop off a sample at Quest…and they are both in the same building, thank you Baby Jesus) before coming home and settling in for a day of work-at-home duties as well as cleaning chores. I was a little spacy yesterday morning as it got later, but it was more about being hungry (I’m still getting used to how it feels to be hungry, as it’s not something I’ve experienced much, but that’s a tale for another time.)

I did write and send out a newsletter yesterday, about queer bookstores and how much I miss them, which you read by clicking here. I’ve also finished my entry on A Violent Masterpiece, which I set to go out on July 1, after Pride month has ended–because all I’m doing in the newsletter this month is being gay gay gay. What can I say? Isn’t it a requirement that I shove my sexuality down the throats of the poor, sad, pathetic homophobes or thirty days? I mean, it is one of my favorite times of the year, precisely for that reason. It’s so tiring though, watching the trash be homophobic with their tired whines and complaints; can’t you lazy fucks come up with something new? Christ on the cross, already. Get better writers.

I wasn’t terribly tired when I got home yesterday–I ran an errand on the way home, too–and did a few chores once I got home, but once I was ensconced into my easy chair, I felt a bit worn out. I didn’t have any issues getting up this morning, and I feel rested and good; who could ask for anything more? The day will get a little hectic once I leave here and start running around town, but soon enough I’ll be home and doing my quality assurance work, which I am very behind on. I dug out my to-do notebook this morning, and there was quite a bit for me to cross off, which was lovely. I think the used up pages are due to be removed, though. I am going to try to be better this weekend about being productive and getting things done. I am itching to write some fiction–I’ve got to stop letting the pressure of the newsletter to get under my skin in my subconscious; the only person who’s disappointed when I don’t finish one and send it out is me, so…

We started watching a documentary series, Bring Me the Beauties, which is a bizarre story about a man who believed he was an alien, started a cult, and was connected to male modeling, especially a model whose professional name was Hoyt Richards. This is new to me; I’d not heard that story before, so it was interesting, and then we started watching a new show on Apple, Cape Fear, obviously based on the previous films and the book (The Executioners by John D. MacDonald), and it has both an excellent cast and is very well produced. I don’t know why we need a series to tell the story again, but streamers hedge their bets with using already existing IPs, don’t they? It’s really good, and I am looking forward to watching more–as well as getting through The Boroughs and other things we are currently watching. We also need to finish The Comeback, and some other things we’ve started. I’ll probably put on another season of The Traitors in the background while I work and clean today.

I actually am feeling good this morning, now that the coffee is kicking in. There’s something to getting up earlier, isn’t there? Well, let’s hope this holds through the entire weekend!

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely day, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back with you tomorrow morning!

The temple of Ramesses II at Abu Simbel, at night. Gorgeous.

No You Don’t

Wednesday and how is it pay-the-bills day again already? #madness.

But sure enough, it sure is pay-the-bills Wednesday again! The week is on its downward slide into the weekend, and today is probably my busiest day at the office. I do have some stuff to catch up on, but I feel good. I slept well, and am not even a little bit groggy or tired, although this morning I am not as awake and on top of things as I was yesterday. That’s also fine. I don’t need to spring out of bed every morning to the alarm, bright-eyed and bushy-tailed (which is a really weird saying when you think about it), so long as I don’t feel an urgent need to go back to sleep.

Yesterday was a good day. Paul’s a bit grumpy from having to stay at home and be mostly immobile, which is usually the case; he doesn’t really like being inactive for a period of time. He’ got his physical therapy today, so that’ll get him out of the house and moving, which is a good thing. Huzzah! We gave up on season 2 of The Four Seasons last night, and also started something else which we noped out of after five minutes–we have a 15 minute rule for movies and a two episode rule for television series, but whatever that was, it was embarrassingly bad and removed from our watch list quickly. We settled in for Widow’s Bay and started The Boroughs, which is interesting and very well done. There’s also a new Tatianna Maslany series we want to check out at some point, too. Maybe we should go back and revisit that rebooted Perry Mason series, with Matthew Rhys–now that we’ve become fans.

I also managed to do some chores; I washed all the dishes and ran the dishwasher overnight, which was a very good thing to get done and out of the way; tonight I’m going to unload the dishwasher, clean the counters, and rearrange the kitchen rugs. I also need to get things out of the living room, and should take that pile of clothes to the dry-cleaner at some point. There are boxes of books that need to go to the library sale (Saturday morning, I’m looking at you), and of course, the living room floor also needs some attention, as do the stairs. Making my house a home is an endless chore, isn’t it? I also want to get some reading done this week. I also need to realize that just because Paul is on the couch watching television doesn’t need to mean I have to sit in there, too; it’s just a natural inclination at this point to grab something to drink and plop down in the easy chair.

It’s hard to say no to both Paul and Sparky, you know.

I also have to have labs drawn on Friday morning, after my in-person meeting at the office at nine. I don’t need to bring my work laptop home, since I am coming in Friday morning, which will be nice. I imagine I’ll just go ahead and get up at the usual time and get here around seven-thirty, after which I head home and then uptown. It’s very muggy and humid this morning; it did come a downpour last night while we were watching television; we’re all supposed to have thunderstorms this afternoon and evening. I am going to run uptown to get the mail on the way home from work tonight, and I may make a bit of groceries as well, but probably not; I can do that after getting labs drawn Friday. Yes, that sounds like an excellent plan. I’ll get out my daily planner and make notes for the next two days on primary things that need to be done.

I really do feel good this morning; no muscle fatigue and no brain fog, which is wonderful. These mornings where I am not tired or groggy are becoming more common, so either I am recovering from everything at long last, and getting a better idea of what it is actually going to be like to be a senior citizen.

A senior citizen.

That’s kind of humbling, isn’t it?

And on THAT note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely day, Constant Reader, and I will be back on the morrow.

At first, I couldn’t understand why his trunks fit so poorly before realizing it was the rope in the foreground!

Rock and Roll Suspension

Monday morning after the holiday weekend, and I must return to the office today. I am not going to beat myself up over not getting as much done as I would have liked. I did get some writing work (editing, at any rate) done yesterday; we didn’t go to the movie again because we started watching Wimbledon and there was a massive thunderstorm we didn’t want to go out in. It pretty much rained for most of the day, which was a lot of fun for my sinuses, as i am sure you can imagine, Constant Reader. After the tennis we started watching We Were Liars, which I read years ago (and don’t remember much of anything about), and we are enjoying it thus far. I read a very little bit during Wimbledon, not starting the new Megan Abbott out of a fear I wouldn’t want to put it down once I’d started. I slept really well last night, too–I slept well all weekend, actually, which was lovely–so hopefully I’ll feel rested all day and can get a lot done at the office. I’ll have to run some errands on the way home, but that’s okay; there are worse things, after all.

There’s always worse things.

I am officially off the steroid treatment as of today, and my next infusion is next Monday morning. I don’t know if round 2 will make me as tired as round 1 did, so we’ll have to see and I’ll have to get things done before next Monday just in case the fatigue returns. Will the lack of a testosterone pill make a difference in how this weeks goes? Perhaps, perhaps not. I was down to a quarter of a pill per day, anyway, so probably no change in anything, really.

I have a headache this morning, probably due to thunderstorms and sinuses, which is really annoying. It’s going to rain again all afternoon and into the evening, which should be lots of fun. But despite all these hurdles I am determined to have a good, productive day. I have a gazillion emails to answer, for one, and I need to get my checkbook balanced and make sure the bills were all paid and all of that fun stuff, too. I also have to figure out what I do owe on medical bills and what I don’t; you have to love deductibles, don’t you, and a health insurance company that makes it very hard to figure this shit out? Heavy heaving sigh. I also have to get a hip X-ray done, and bloodwork again this week. Lord. I guess the smart thing to do would be to get the bloodwork done first thing Friday morning, then walk over to Touro for the hip X-ray. Remember how I was dizzy and kept losing my balance when I was sick? One time I lost my balance going out to get a delivery at the front gate and fell, hip first, into the fence. My leg had felt bruised after that, and I only recently realized it a) still felt bruised; b) it couldn’t still be bruised and c) it’s actually numb. My doctor thinks I may have pinched a nerve when I fell, hence the X-ray. Yay.

Getting old is fine for the most part, but the physical decay absolutely sucks.

As I was finish reading Summerhouse (which I really enjoyed), shortly after finishing Laura Lippman’s Murder Takes a Vacation, it occurred to me that maybe I should try writing about older characters (since I’m now older myself and my Imposter Syndrome–which rarely needs any help to kick into gear–makes me question my ability to write about people younger than myself anymore); but what would I say? For me, being older has meant being more delicate physically, obviously; aches and pains and getting tired more easily–but again, I am not sure if that’s part of getting older or just a by-product of all the illnesses, injuries and medical treatments I’ve needed since 2020. It could be interesting, though, and I could potentially make it really funny, too. The last thing in the world that I ever want to write is about some bitchy and bitter old queen who’s constantly living in the past and thinks the past was better than the present. Who would want to read such a thing? Certainly not me.

But I am capable of creating likable characters, aren’t I? Maybe I could create a likable older gay male character, full of wisdom and experience, who accepts his age and is happy about it? But…the plague years! I’ve never wanted to write about the plague years, and it would be kind of hard to avoid with an older gay male character, wouldn’t it?

Sigh.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Monday, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back in the morning.

I Can’t Get No Satisfaction

Blergh.

I am up way too early this morning, and I can’t even have any coffee. I am having labs drawn this morning, and I need to fast for them…so I always schedule it for super-early so I can get it over and done with and back home to the shower and my coffee. I am not working at home today like I usually do; we’re having a department meeting and although I had permission to join the meeting on Teams…I also had some admin work to do in the office so I figured I might as well just go in person and do my work time there. I mean, I took Monday and Tuesday off, so missing out on a work-at-home day when I have four days off in a row isn’t going to be a major issue for me. And it’s not a full day, anyway. We’re going to Costco after I get home from work later, and I do have some errands to get taken care of this weekend. But I took Monday and Tuesday off for my birthday, so I have four days to relax, read, clean, or just do nothing if I so choose.

Well, I am home from having the labs drawn. I won’t spare you the gruesome story of the poor phlebotomist who had to locate a vein–the vein he finally found in my right forearm only gave one vial, so he then had to use my left hand; it actually didn’t hurt (I’ve steeled myself to having blood drawn, and having it done so regularly for my PrEP prescription has kind of inured me to sharp pointy metal things going into my skin. I also scheduled my flu shot and my RSV vaccine for tomorrow morning, so look at me–getting all this medical stuff knocked out and being pro-active about my own health, which is actually kind of lovely. It’s one of those things that I consider “ooh, look at me being a responsible adult” which is kind of a reaction to being told for so long that I was so completely irresponsible by so many people. I do enjoy, however, those moments when I behave like an actual adult. (I’ve set the bar pretty low for myself, in case you couldn’t tell.)

Despite being tired on my way home from work last night, I did do a speck of writing. I’ve been thinking a lot about a short story that’s been in progress for almost ten years, but I was never really sure how to end it, or really what it was about. I got the idea for it when I had to stop to use the rest room at a rest stop in the Smoky Mountains in Tennessee. There was only one other car there, and it was running with the passenger door open. At first I was amused–I guess someone really had to use the bathroom pretty badly–and of course my next thought was that it was probably a woman…but as I walked up to the building and went into the bathroom there was no one in the men’s room, so I assumed I was right. But after washing my hands, I walked back out and the car was exactly the same as it was when I passed. I called Highway Assistance–in case it was something serious and there was a woman lying on the floor in the bathroom or something, and once I was back on the road again, I thought about the situation all the way to my parents’, and pictured a woman coming to the same rest stop and encountering the same situation, only she finds an unconscious bleeding woman in the bathroom…and the main character is really not in a position herself to call the police. A picture of the Smoky Mountains on Facebook–the riotous colors of fall–came across my feed over the weekend, and it put the story back into my frontal lobe, so I decided to work on it some more this week since it was taking form in my head. I know why the main character is there, I know why the bleeding woman is there, and all I have left is deciding which ending is the best. I didn’t write much–Sparky kept distracting me before Paul came down to watch television with me–but I did get some writing done, and that feels simply wonderful.

Anyway, this day is going to feel off all day because it’s out of the ordinary. Getting up and out for the lab work; coming into the office for a meeting and to catch up on Admin work here that should be done before I leave for my brief vacation this weekend–odds and ends, really, that shouldn’t wait until I return to the office on Wednesday.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines for this strange Friday. Have a lovely day, Constant Reader, and I doubt I’ll be back before tomorrow morning.

Don’t Stop Believin’

Thursday morning and last day in the office this week. I think I have a prescription to pick up; I neede to call and see if it’s ready or not during the day today. I was tired yesterday–I’ve been mentally weary all week for some reason–and was very happy to come straight home from work. I resisted Sparky and finished the dishes, which need to be put away tonight. It was very nice to come down to a clean kitchen with nothing on the counters and the sink empty. This kind of also puts me ahead on the weekend, too. Huzzah! I still have some filing and straightening and organizing to do around the house. The Olympics end this weekend, which means technically I can start writing again this weekend–I mean, ending a few days early on the embargo isn’t going to be the end of the world or anything, and I am kind of itching to get back to writing again. That, by the way, feels good.

I feel decent this morning, too. I’ll probably get tired at some point during the morning, and I am sure my butt will be dragging come this afternoon. I also need to get the mail today–maybe tomorrow; it depends on timing–and I do have some errands to run tomorrow. Maybe the mail can wait? Who knows? I do have a meeting tomorrow in the morning, and I made an appointment to get my labs drawn next Friday (fasting labs, and no way am I fasting all morning and not having coffee; there was nothing available for tomorrow until the time of my meeting). I feel very good about getting back on top of my health stuff, and my insurance issues are all ironed out. I have one more leftover issue from the surgery, and I hope to get that taken care of this weekend. Thank God.

In other big news, I deleted my Twitter account yesterday. I just bit the bullet, went in, and deactivated my account. I don’t care if someone else uses it because I don’t think I will ever go back there. I know, I know, I should have done it a long time ago. Being there only helps as another user to count towards advertising revenue, and I don’t want any part of that on my soul and conscience anymore. I went back and forth over the morality of being there still (friends who are only there, etc. v. being complicit with that vile company) and pondered the hypocrisy of that, while keeping my newsletter on Substack1 and actively working to build an audience there. It wound up not being that difficult of a decision, really; I realized that the only times this week I’ve been tense or irritated has been because of Twitter and morally bankrupt people there, so it’s clearly not good for my mental health. I deleted it for my own well-being in the end, but making it about ‘taking an ethical stand’ is verifiably false. I don’t like getting credit for something I don’t deserve, and there was nothing noble about deleting my account other than self-preservation. I don’t even know why I went there in the first place, to be honest. I’ve never really gotten much joy out of being there, and what joy I managed to find there didn’t make up for the absolute horror of being there. I was never targeted or swarmed, it was never anything like that…but what is allowed there under the guise of “free speech” (and they decide what is protected and what is not, with a heavy thumb down on the scale on the side of being fascist or enabling it) is horrific and shameful and disgusting.

I did enjoy removing the app from my phone, though. It was almost as satisfying as slamming down the phone receiver used to be.

We’re also still in a boil water advisory, and today’s “feels like” is going to be 110. Woo-hoo! But it’s August, what can I expect or what more can I want? This weekend is also the Red Dress Run (which is how Garden District Gothic opens, or was it a different Scotty? Sigh), and there are some other things going on around town as always–Dirty Linen in the Quarter (it’s the Quarter’s version of White Linen Night, and I really should write about both) and there’s a Drew Brees pickleball tournament (I’m not really sure what pickleball is, to be honest, and not sure that I want to, either), too. Sounds like a good weekend to stay home to me, doesn’t it? It’s going to also be horrifically and horribly hot, too.

And on that note, I am heading down into the spice mines. Have a lovely Thursday, Constant Reader, and I’ll most likely be back at some point later.

Greg Louganis, seen here in his Olympic debut in Montreal as a teenager, winning the silver medal. I was enchanted by his incredible physical beauty.
  1. Two people I really respect in this business are still at Substack, and since they have better ethics than me and are, in general, much better humans than I am, I will defer to their judgment in this case. ↩︎

Sorcerer

Thursday Thursday–Thor’s Day. Last day of getting up at six for the week–tomorrow I get to sleep in till seven, woo-hoo–and while I am not feeling tired this morning I am also not completely awake. I think I slept well last night–it’s always hard to tell–but I feel rested this morning. How long will that feeling last remains to be seen…but I think we have a fairly light client schedule at the office today. That would be nice, of course, but I don’t expect it to happen either. It could easily have filled up yesterday after I left for the day early. I had a check-up with my primary care physician, nothing more than the every-six-month check-up so my prescriptions can get refilled, but it’s really in everyone’s best interest that my Alprazolam get refilled, trust me on this.

We watched the new episode of Only Murders in the Building but I have to say, I am not loving this season the way I loved the first. It just seems like there are a lot of filler episodes and not much actual crime-solving, as there was in the first season, or maybe the novelty of it has worn off. I still think Martin Short and Steve Martin are fantastic as two of the series leads (I go back and forth on Selena Gomez), but it seems like this season is all over the map and we’re still no closer to finding out who killed Bunny as we were at the end of season one. We’ve also been watching the second season of Into the Night, a French/Belgian thriller series that’s a nonstop adrenaline-based thrill ride from the very start.

After my appointment yesterday, I was tired when I got home to the Lost Apartment. It had been raining most of the day, and after my appointment I decided to run a couple of errands–pick up the mail, make a very small grocery run–and of course, there was flooding going on in Uptown, which always makes me nervous to have to drive through. I also have to go get the mail again today after work, because some packages were alas delivered after I stopped in yesterday, and I also have to stop at CVS to see what the deal with my prescriptions is (it looks like two of them were filled, but it also has that Check with your pharmacy about your refills note appended to them, so I don’t know what that means and it also shows that I don’t have any ready for pick-up either; so I can swing by there and talk to them today after I get the mail and head home.

I also have a personal-care appointment on Saturday morning, and I think I may just go ahead and order groceries on-line again this weekend–why the hell not? Save myself the hassle of actually doing the actual shopping itself, so perhaps I should start thinking about what to order. Hmmm.

And I scheduled my blood draw for the biannual check-in for Monday morning, so I can just wake up, wash my face and brush my teeth, roll out to the car and get it done before I eat or drink anything–yay, fasting–but these are the things you need to get taken care of regularly when you’re of A Certain Age. (Interesting title that would make, no? A Certain Age. I like it.) And I hope to get everything else that is needing to get done by Sunday….done by Sunday.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Thor’s Day, Constant Reader.