Category: LSU

Every Which Way But Loose

Happy Easter to all who celebrate, and a happy Sunday to those who do not. We do not celebrate Easter, but we do recognize the Easter Bunny and candy because who doesn’t? My favorite parts of “Christian holidays” are inevitably always the parts appropriated from pagan holidays. Funny how that works, isn’t it? It’s also raining, and I slept in later than I’d hoped to. Sparky eventually got impatient waiting for me to get up and scratched my face near my left eye, and while I easily and happily could have slept longer, I am glad I got up. I feel rested, which is very nice, and relaxed. I didn’t really do a whole lot yesterday; I ran my errands and got home in the early afternoon and basically chilled for the rest of the day while Paul was at his office and the gym. He got home in time to watch LSU Gymnastics to win the regional final. They didn’t have a great meet, but still almost broke 198.00–which is incredible. After that we started watching Something Very Bad Is Going to Happen, but the first episode was just weird and odd and un-involving, so we moved on to season three of The Night Agent, which is a very fun action packed high energy international intrigue thriller. Gabriel Basso, who plays the lead, is very sexy, too.

While Paul was out, I watched a couple more episodes of season 4 of The Traitors. I am really going to enjoy writing about the show, but I definitely have to outline the essay so I don’t forget to talk about something I find interesting. Yesterday’s watch reminded me of how The Traitors somehow pulls off something I wouldn’t have thought possible–redeeming people I have disliked in other media. I was resistant to watching this particular season (which was still airing when we started watching) because I hated both Lisa Rinna and Candiace Dillard from their time on Real Housewives; but I really enjoyed them of The Traitors. Same with Colton Underwood; I didn’t love how he came out after his time on The Bachelor and it seemed like the powers-that-be thought they could make him–a very pretty blue-eyed blond white man–into THE Gay Celebrity, especially given his problematic past. I actually wound up liking him on this show, and maybe I should go back to his reality series about coming out and “learning to be gay”; I’ve been wanting to watch through some gay-base reality shows I’ve watched and how terrible they inevitably are (Drag Race being the sole exception). I’m also, while rewatching, remembering how Alabama Rob charmed us all–and seeing the seeds of Rob and Maura’s bond (it literally goes back to episode one) being planted makes her loyalty to him at the end make more sense; she really wasn’t his “dicktim.” (That’s another interesting thing about rewatching; you pick up on things you didn’t notice the first time through.)

After getting the mail, I swung by the Fresh Market on my way home, which I usually don’t mind as far as grocery stores are concerned. It’s slightly more expensive, but it’s never crowded and the customers aren’t nearly as annoying as the ones at Whole Foods (I get highly annoyed every time I shop there, which I why I don’t). But it seemed like all the entitled rich old white people somehow got an alert that they needed to go to the Fresh Market and show their whole asses. I was quite relieved when I put my bags in the car and skedaddled away from that portal to hell. I never do a big shop when I go there–the slightly more expensive thing–but I love their meat counter (lots of fresh meat options there) and they also sell Jelly Belly jelly beans there by weight. I love me some Jelly Belly jelly beans, but I stopped eating them when I got sick last year and haven’t bought any since. I snacked a bit on them last night and yes, I still love them. I just cannot overdo it with them because the goal here is to lose weight.

I also mailed some books yesterday. I still have two more copies to send out, and one to drop off Uptown, but I also did very little around the house yesterday because I was being a bit on the lazy side and relaxing. I’m going to try to do some cleaning today–at least get everything picked up and put away–and I am also going to try to do some reading this morning. I also want to try to get a newsletter out today, and I know which one I am going to try to get taken care of; I want to talk about Christa Faust’s Derringer Award nominated short story “Hollywood Prometheus” from Crime Ink: Icons. (I did find a way into my essays series about masculinity yesterday, too, but I want to think about that introductory prologue essay and let it marinate in my brain for a few days.

And on that note, I am going to head into the spice mines and clean up this mess of a kitchen and work space. I also have to balance my checkbook–always a joy–and do some other thankless tasks so I am not behind on anything anymore. Heavy heaving sigh. It’s also supposed to get cold later today, too. Woo-hoo!

Sexy fitness model and BGEast wrestler Rio Garza

To Be a Man

Saturday morning in the Lost Apartment, and the Crescent City Classic marathon is already under way. I wound up staying up later last night than I usually do; I was doing the bed linens but was interrupted by my plans for the evening–I was social last night–and had to finish them when I got home. I fell asleep in my chair waiting for the last of the blankets to finish, and slept deeply, restfully, and extremely well. As such, I slept in later than I usually do, but that’s okay. I am going to run some errands today as well as do some chores around here. Paul is going to be out for most of the daylight hours; he has things to do at the office, is going to work out with his trainer, and so will most likely not be home until the early evening, which is also okay. I want to take it easy for most of the day, to rest, but we’ll see how things go. I also need to finish a newsletter; I am trying to stick to a weekend/midweek schedule. Ideally, there would be two per week, but that doesn’t always happen, does it? I need to do better with that, don’t I?

I survived getting up early and going to the office yesterday, and managed to survive both the meeting and doing some things around the office that I won’t have to do Monday before coming home to do quality assurance on paperwork while starting all the laundry. (The downstairs is a complete mess, and so will need to do something about that today.) I met some friends for a cocktail before heading uptown for my dinner date at Gautreau’s, which is somewhere I’d never eaten before. I had the roasted broccoli salad (with pine nuts, shredded cheese, and a delicious vinaigrette) and had the braised lamb linguini in a pesto sauce. My word, it was delicious, and I also allowed myself a very dry martini with my meal before catching a Lyft home. I have started a rewatch of season four of The Traitors (because I want to write about it and the entire phenomenon of the show), and even though you know who wins and who gets banished/murdered ahead of time, it’s good for rewatching because you forget things. Example: I hate Michael Rappaport so much I’d blacked his presence on the show out of my memory. (And whatever anyone’s opinion on Colton Underwood may be–and I do have several–he really is ridiculously beautiful, and that needs to be said.)

I also feel like I have to point out, as a fan of both Heated Rivalry and its cast, that I finally caught Connor Storrie’s new commercial for Verizon, filmed in a delightfully horror style, in which his butt is the actual star (and to be far, it is an incredibly nice one) and shows not only how talented he is, but also how charismatic. The camera is in love with him, and we all benefit from this. I am really looking forward to following his career as it grows–that of the entire cast, really. I haven’t gone completely parasocial–fandoms are pits of despair and neediness that should really be studied–but I am rooting for Mr. Storrie and the others to really become major stars. I don’t need to know everything about them or what they’re doing or any of that other invasive shit fans indulge in, but…I am a fan.

I really do feel rested and relaxed this morning. My legs are a bit more tired than I would prefer, but that’s okay; after I do the things I want to get done today I am planning on spending most of my day in the easy chair with the laptop and a book, and of course at five, LSU continues its quest to make it to the Elite Eight in gymnastics tonight in the regional finals. But I do really need to clean up down here before I leave the house to do things.

I’ve also added today’s title as a prospective title on the list of essays I want to write in a series about masculinity or the newsletter. I keep saying that, don’t I? I’ve been thinking about this topic–masculinity–for quite a long time, but I also want to talk about it clearly and concisely, and it’s all my perceptions anyway. I’ve always been reluctant to write personal essays about things I am interested in because I don’t consider myself an expert on anything, but I know a little about a lot of topics. Does anyone need another essay about The Great Gatsby? Probably not, nor am I known as a scholar on any subject other than my own personal experience, and I’ve often doubted or questioned my own experiences and perceptions. But writing has always helped me sort things out, processing everything to deal with it as well as make up my own mind.

Hmmm.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Saturday, Constant Reader, and I will check in with you again tomorrow.

The side patio bar at St. Vincent’s in my neighborhood, on Magazine between Orange and Race streets

We’re Ready

Friday and I have to go to a meeting at work this morning, and will probably spend the rest of the work-day there to get my usual Friday hours. We’ll see how I feel after the meeting–if I want to stay or go back home to do some quality assurance. I am meeting two friends for drinks late this afternoon and am having dinner with still another friend directly after. All this social activity will probably end up with me lying on the easy chair all day tomorrow recovering. I guess we’ll see how it all turns out. ut there are worse things, you know? I slept well again last night and don’t feel exhausted this morning, so that’s a good thing; I just don’t know how long I am going to last today. But it’s nice to not feel tired despite getting up early on a day I usually get to sleep a little later. I also wonder if my new special shoes have anything to do with my legs not being tired this morning?

Yes, I had to buy a pair of expensive specialty corrective shoes–specifically for flat-footed people whose feet also pronate–and they cost $150 (I know, I just think spending more than a hundred dollars for athletic walking shoes is insane). I used my income tax refund to pay for a pair (my doctor told me I should try them) and I started wearing them this week. At first, they felt a little weird and not much difference, but I realized last night that my legs hadn’t been tired all week and even the Achilles tendons aren’t complaining nearly as much as they did before. I was hoping that my doctor was incorrect and I wouldn’t have to pay this much for shoes again, but it looks like I am definitely going to have to keep buying these shoes. I’ll eventually stop resenting spending the money, and it’s worth it to not have my legs aching all the time.

LSU Gymnastics won their regional qualifier last night, and scored their highest score of the season, despite leaving points on the mats. The regional final is tomorrow, so here’s hoping LSU makes it to the national semi-finals. They have a good shot at winning the national title yet again this year, which is incredibly exciting. GEAUX TIGERS! And Kailin Chio got two 10’s! It was fun to watch, and I am looking forward to this weekend’s regional final.

The good news/bad news of yesterday was of course, the firing of Nazi bitch Pam Bondi. For the record, Ms. Christian is on her fourth husband while fighting against marriage equality in Florida, and this regime didn’t corrupt her; she was a disgrace to the bar as Attorney General of Florida. Here’s hoping she’s disbarred and eventually charged for crimes committed under her oversight. Everything he touches dies–and isn’t it hilarious how many people can convince themselves to throw morality under the bus and work for him, thinking they’ll be the exception to come out smelling like a rose? But don’t blame the regime for Bondi’s evil–her evil and corruption was why she got the job in the first place. Look who’s the loser lawyer now, bitch! Start praying, and may you never have a moment’s peace any time you go out in public.

It’s also Easter weekend with today being Good Friday; the Crescent City Classic is also this weekend (tomorrow) but it won’t affect me; the route is from Poydras and Rampart to City Park–so CBD and Midcity neighborhoods, not my frequent haunts, which is a very good thing. That means I can run errands tomorrow after all, so I can just stay home on Easter and take it easy. Huzzah!

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Good Friday, however you choose to spend it, and I’ll be back tomorrow morning with a smile on my face and my eyes all bright!

Few things were sexier than a pretty boy in cut-off jeans in the early 1980s—and Christopher Atkins definitely fit that bill

Candlebright

There was another water main break in Uptown Thursday–this time nearer to the Tulane campus–but it did not come with yet another boil water advisory this time. It really is awful the way the city’s infrastructure is crumbling below our feet. New Orleans is an impossible city in almost every way, but it’s also necessary, which is why we keep rebuilding and living here. It’s also one of the most unique and charming and lovely cities in this country. But despite being called “the Big Easy” (a name the locals hate and never use), it ain’t all that easy to live here, you know?

But it’s now Saturday morning and the day stretches out in front of me, full of possibilities. There are all kinds of drunken St. Patrick’s Day events going on everywhere today (including the Irisy working at home; driving to the Apple Store in Metairie to get a new iPad before stopping by Costco on my way back into the city. Much as I enjoy Costco–and it wasn’t crowded late yesterday when I was there. I lost my membership cards ages ago (Paul usually goes with me and we use his, but the Festivals are in a few more weeks so…), so had to get a new one, which was remarkably easy, and then I shopped my merry way to a ridiculous amount of money changing hands at the cash register. I came home, had to unload the car, and then put everything away and was exhausted by the time all of that was done, so I sank into my easy chair and watched a couple of episodes of you should know by now and then watched LSU Gymnastics against Arkansas, which was an incredible meet; LSU’s Kailin Chio got a 10 on the three apparatus (apparatii?) she competed on! So exciting! And the new iPad is lovely, if a bit frustrating (the number of passwords I had to reset…), and I am pleased with it. I can use it for writing, and its actually less cumbersome than the laptop (which will be seven years old this year). I was also doing the laundry (and there was a lot of it) all day, and I finished all stages of the dishes by unloading the dishwasher and putting everything away. I did wind up staying up later last night than I’d originally intended, but c’est la vie. I also slept later this morning, which was lovely and I feel rested this morning. My Achilles tendons are still tender, so I am going to ice them off and on all day.

I think today is going to be a mostly chill out, relax, and clean day. The apartment is a mess (Costco and iPad packaging debris–Apple’s packaging is very nice, but unnecessary) so I need to make several pilgrimages to the garbage cans this morning. I want to spend some time reading, and I am going to get up early tomorrow to get some work done–writing, emails, editing–as well as pack up the books I need to get in the mail. I am hoping to have a very good week next week; hopefully we won’t have a boil water advisory Monday, and I won’t be sick. Not sure what the deal has been lately with my Mondays, but it needs to stop!

I also did some reading–not much–last night; my reread of the juvenile Rick Brant Science Adventures’ The Egyptian Cat Mystery, and this time the racism and stereotypes–not to mention white condescension–just jumps off the page at me. The book was originally published in the 1961, the year I was born, and so it also very dated; there is no longer a United Arab Republic, for one example. But I should have expected a 1961 mystery for kids to have been chock full of the horrible societal ills of American exceptionalism–which will be an interesting take for the essay I plan to write when I finish this book. I am also looking forward to diving back into Eli Cranor’s latest, as well as Sarah Weinman’s new one.

I also know I am going to write about my friend who passed away this week, but I am still sorting my complicated feelings about that right now. I am trying to only remember the good memories, but some of the negative ones inevitably surface, and I am also trying to let go of that negativity. There’s no sense in holding onto any of that now that she’s gone, you know? But I know I’ll get there; maybe I should start writing it because it will sort my feelings–maybe not but it’s worth the old college try.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Saturday, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back tomorrow morning.

Gorgeous Taylor Zakhar-Perez, of Red White and Royal Blue fame.

Every Day

Monday and back to the office with me this morning. The weekend was lovely, if not particularly productive in terms of getting things done, but I do need to rest from time to time. Yesterday I had to do some work for Paul–nothing really, just didn’t want to do it, you know how that goes. I slept later than I’d wanted, but it rained overnight and was still raining in the early morning, which is why I was so asleep and didn’t want to get up. The rest of the day was damp and chill, if humid and gray, but I did manage to get some things done. I didn’t find the time change particularly grueling this year; I just went to bed early on Saturday and slept in a bit. I did have some trouble sleeping last night, and got up to yet another boil water advisory and low water pressure. Heavy sigh. I hope I can shower and have a normal Monday this week–but the fates do seem to be conspiring against me. Oh, well; there are always worse things.

Yesterday was restful which was very nice. I didn’t get as much done as I would have liked on the house yesterday, but that’s okay. I spent time icing my calves to try to help the Achilles tendons stop being sore–they are very much better than they were, it’s barely noticeable now–and made dinner and did do some things before we watched LSU Gymnastics at Florida, and then went to The Traitors-UK again. (I’m hoping there’s enough of it to get me through the Festivals, at any rate. Overall, I had a lovely, relaxing and restful weekend, which was necessary and lovely. I got all errands done that were necessary, did some clean up around here, and got the rest I needed in order to face down this week. I think we’re busy in the clinic this week, too–and I’m a bit behind on my work, so I need to use today to get everything caught up before I am back in the clinic tomorrow (Monday is my administrative day where I try to get everything caught up from the week before). No pressure there, right? I’ll manage somehow. I always do.

I’m dreading looking at the news; over the weekend I don’t pay attention much because I can only take so much, so I limit my exposure to it as much as I can. It isn’t that I don’t want to be informed or know what’s going on in the world around me, but the reality is “24 news” doesn’t mean reporting on news for twenty-four hours, it means regurgitating the same news over and over again while everyone you can get on camera to discuss, argue and debate the same news until you really want to throw something sharp and hard through the television screen. Who have we bombed and/or invaded today? What rights are being curtailed by either Congress, executive order, or the most corrupt and lawless Supreme Court since the Dred Scott decision (which hounded Roger B. Taney for the rest of his life, as it should have)? What other allies are now refusing to share intelligence with us because our president and his court are all Russian assets? (I remember the days when not a single Republican dared support anything Russian; their entire party was grounded in anti-Russia sentiment, only to do a complete 180? The North remembers.) I remember still all the Vietnam news reports when I was a child…

As I mentioned, I didn’t sleep that great last night; I had a fever during the night and woke up to a damp pillow and a damp spot in the bed where I’d sweated. Obviously, I flipped the pillow over and rearranged things so there was a layer of blanket between me and the damp spot in the sheets, and I didn’t feel that great. I woke up several more times during the night–love waking up to a boil water advisory, but at least there was enough pressure for a shower this morning, praise Jesus. I have something going on with my stomach again, but I am hoping it’s not a relapse, and not entirely sure what I would have to do to ward that off. I think maybe I ate too much yesterday–always a possibility–and that’s what the issue is this morning (and was overnight). I also forgot to take my pills yesterday, which also could be a part of this stomach annoyance.

And on that pleasant note, I am going to head into the spice mines. Have a lovely Monday, Constant Reader, and I’ll check in with you again tomorrow.

The Colossi of Memnon, during the Nile flood

Unconditional Love

Saturday morning and all is well here in the Lost Apartment. Yesterday turned out lovely, after the rain, there was this lovely chill dampness to the air that was quite nice. I got all of my work done without a problem, and worked on the house. The kitchen looks terrific now–I still need to do the floors and some touch up; same with living room–and it was nice to come downstairs to a very clean kitchen and work space. I also did all the dishes and all the laundry! I also spent some time icing my ankles, and will probably do that some more today. I never got around to writing yesterday, and I didn’t read anything I have in progress already (I honestly don’t know what’s wrong with my brain lately), but as I was moving things around I picked up a couple of books that I paged through a bit (The Last Picture Show and Michelangelo, but more on those later), so that’s something. I watched the reunions for The Traitors seasons 3 and 4, which were fun (more on those later). When Paul came down, I finished the day’s chores and settled in for the LSU-Dartmouth baseball game, before we switched over to the LSU Gymnastics meet against Alabama (yes, if you didn’t know already, we are a very LSU house), and then it was off to bed. I slept really well for the first time in a while, and feel rested. My Achilles tendons also need icing this morning before I head out for my errands later this morning.

Today, I am going to pick up the mail, and make some groceries on the way back home. I had planned on washing the car, but now I don’t think I am going to. I also need to get mailing envelopes because I’ve been terribly lazy about sending the copies of my book to the people I need to; but this whole month has been kind of weird in some ways, which I am still thinking about and processing. I am also a little freaked out that tomorrow is March 1 already, but that’s how time passes in New Orleans in the first two months of the year. It also looks gray outside this morning, but it’s supposed to be sunny and warm by the early afternoon.

As I had mentioned, as I was moving books around yesterday, I came across copies of Larry McMurtry’s The Last Picture Show and Michelangelo by William E. Wallace, both books I enjoyed, and The Last Picture Show was influential on me, I think, as a writer. The Last Picture Show was basically another, male-driven version of Peyton Place–the dark, dirty sex secrets of a small town, and it also made me a lifelong fan of McMurtry. (I also loved the film version.) I was going to reread it a few summers ago, but I gave up on the read when we got to the calf-fucking and taking Billy to the hooker who bloodied his nose. Billy was unable to give consent to anything, so from a modern reading this entire sequence is pretty disturbing, but I think I will give it another go because of how the book treats homosexuality; I’d like to see the book through that lens, and see precisely how the future Oscar winning screenwriter of Brokeback Mountain dealt with it in an early novel.

Left Coast Crime is criming right now, and of course I am enjoying everyone’s social media posts, but…I don’t have any FOMO? Considering FOMO has been a major driving factor throughout my life, and often to my own detriment, I think this is some serious personal growth. I never really liked the “pick me” side of my fractured personality, and I am not in the least bit sorry to banish that part of my brain into some remote, dusty and not easily accessed back wrinkle in the very back of my skull. I think this is a big step forward for me, you know?

Connor Storrie is hosting Saturday Night Live tonight, and I may stay up to watch some of it–I can also replay it on Peacock tomorrow morning, or find clips on Youtube if I can’t stay up that late. They are also bringing on one or two of the Hughes bros–trying to rehab them in front of the audience Connor will bring them (straight women and gay men–yeah, I am sure they’ll be embraced by the live audience and we should be prepared for NBC to mute any negative audience reactions to their stain of an appearance. Since NBC also hosts the Olympics, obviously they feel the need to rehabilitate the men who can’t say sorry, ladies, we totally fucked up in the moment and we are so sorry to spit in your faces about your accomplishments like that. You see how institutions always rally to the cause of infantile boys who never grow up? I do love the way the country has stepped up for the women, though. My favorite thing this past week has been reading the comments on the social media posts of the NHL or the teams’ accounts.

And I think a harsh critique and rebuke of that infantilizing “boys will be boys/locker room talk” enabling bullshit is in order, and could be the introduction to my essays series on masculinity. Hmmm.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely day, Constant Reader, and I will be back tomorrow morning.

David Florentine is a great New Orleans photographer; check out his work! I especially love the spectral mist in this shot. You can check out his website here.

Docklands

Work at home Friday and I have to go get labs drawn this morning before my doctor’s appointment next Friday. So I can’t have anything to eat, and just black coffee before. No thanks. I’ll make a cup of coffee in a go-mug and take it with me, and once my blood is drawn I will start slurping it down.

Okay, I went and am back and am finally on my first cup, which is wonderful, I have to say. It started raining on my short drive over to Quest, and I was in and out in less than fifteen minutes. On my way home, it started pouring, so I got very wet getting from the car to the apartment and it was kind of fun. It’s still rainy and very gray outside, which is one of those lovely days for staying inside and being cozy, you know? I have a meeting this morning, and work-at-home duties as always, but I want to get some chores done and maybe some reading and writing, if the rain holds.

I was tired when I got home from work, making a bit of groceries on the way, but I still managed to get some things done. I emptied the dishwasher and refilled it (it’s running now), did a load of clothes, and worked on the kitchen while waiting for Paul to get home so we could watch the season 4 finale of The Traitors (which was fun, but more on that at another time), so I don’t have quite as much work on the house to get done today and tomorrow. Huzzah! I also know there’s a part of my brain–controlled by medication now, but it’s definitely there–that doesn’t let me write when my apartment isn’t up to my personal code; because if there’s any excuse to not write I will always jump on it. Now, I’m just not as aware of it as I used to be, if that makes sense? Now I just think oh, maybe not today and there’s always tomorrow but then tomorrow comes and I don’t want to, anymore. I actually had the thought this week–after dealing with my taxes–you know, I wouldn’t have to do this if I didn’t write anymore but that intrusive thought was quickly followed by yeah but as long as books are in print you’ll be getting royalties to be taxed on and what the hell will I do with myself if I stop? I also had an errant thought about how much I dislike the marketing side of writing (I always feel like a sideshow freak hawking snake oil), which was also one of those “for real for real” moments; but I have no choice. I am a compulsive writer, and sometimes it seems like I need a contract to make a project seem real enough for me to actually do it, you know?

There’s no better motivator than a looming deadline!

Hmm, it looks like it’s getting lighter outside so maybe this rain has passed. It wasn’t really much, maybe enough to stop the wildfires in the swamps and wetlands in the east if we were lucky (this year’s fire isn’t nearly as bad as it has been in previous years, where you can smell and almost taste the smoke). We’re in that weird post-Carnival pre-festival season weather window, where it can turn on a dime–damp and cold one day, gorgeous and hot the next, which is the time most locals have sinus and some kind of crud issues. My coffee also seems to be kicking in and I feel pretty good, to be honest. My head is clearing, and once I finish this and my meeting I am probably going to get cleaned up and get started on some work. I am going to run my errands tomorrow–parking in the neighborhood is always an issue during week days–since I have books to take to the library sale. LSU Gymnastics is also hosting Alabama tonight, so that takes care of tonight’s television entertainment (I do have to say, though, if you’ve not watched any of The Traitors, it’s a highly entertaining show and the absolute perfect escape for these times–watching it alongside the Olympics was highly enjoyable.)

And now, I think I am going to get another cup of coffee and make breakfast. Have a lovely Friday, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back again tomorrow morning.

Fitness influencer Polo Marin

Doing the Best That I Can

Sunday in the Lost Apartment and all is quiet here. Today’s four parades start later this morning and literally run all day. I suspect I’m going to skip them all today. I wandered out to Iris, but just can’t stand for very long; I’m just not in good enough physical condition yet to exert myself into anything other than sitting in a chair resting and icing my ankles, which I did for quite some time yesterday. I overslept in the morning–Sparky was cuddled up with me again, with the occasional plaintive “mew” to try to wake me up. The bed did feel marvelous yesterday morning, but the morning was already pretty much over by the time I was caffeinated and finished with yesterday’s blog entry. I read for a while (and this reread of The Secret of Hangman’s Inn is showing me, at long last, the primary flaw in kids’ detective fiction–which is also why The Three Investigators have held up better than most of their contemporaries), and did some here and there chores. I don’t, after all, have to go back to the office until Wednesday morning, so having another day that was mostly for resting my body and my brain didn’t seem like a waste, you know?

I finished rewatching Judgment at Nuremberg and it remarkably holds up still in modern times. Not going to lie, and if the reasons I rewatched it aren’t quite as obvious in this modern time, let me explai it to you: we are, despite all the lessons and warnings from the past, sliding into that same kind of world where “just following orders” is no longer merely about ‘doing your job’ but doing evil. Nuremberg is one of the best films–if American propaganda heavy–dealing with these questions of national guilt and national morality; I remember someone writing (or saying) after 1945 how amazing it was that no German was really a Nazi and how none of them “knew.”

Did people admit shamefacedly to being in the Klan after? Still?

I’ve always given the common German people a bit of slack about being Nazis, simply because, monstrous as Nazism was, they weren’t making the plans and the decisions. So, how much culpability did the rank-and-file people actually bear? The cogs in the killing machine?

For example, how culpable are all Americans in what is going on in the country now? Was it possible for every day Germans to not know what was being done in their name?

We don’t know what’s going on in our own concentration camps, do we? But we know they exist and more are being built, don’t we? As Americans, how much culpability do we have as citizens? It is easy to say “we didn’t vote for this” or “I was opposed to Vietnam” or “dropping nuclear weapons on Japan was necessary to save American lives” or “my ancestors didn’t own slaves/weren’t in the Klan/didn’t benefit from systemic discrimination” but…wasn’t enslavement human trafficking, and on a scale modern minds can scarcely comprehend how big it was, how horrible it was, and historians and American propagandists have done an excellent job of downplaying the horrors and dismissing the immorality of owning other people. Human beings had less rights than animals in the so-called land of the free; and this is not even taking into consideration the genocide of the indigenous peoples and the mistreatment of those survivors for generations. History will not look back and think all of that horror was unknown to most Americans. They will say it was a horrible part of US History, a spreading stain that soaked in and spread for hundreds of years. Is not the whole world responsible for not stopping Hitler when they could have? The Allies knew about the camps as early as 1940, if not sooner, and did not only nothing but actively worked to suppress the information. Why?

And there were American Nazis before the war–lots of them. Still are, in fact. So much for never forgetting, right?

Heavy thoughts on Bacchus Sunday, but Judgment at Nuremberg is a still important and necessary film.

After the movie finished, we watched The Fighting Tiger, the ESPN documentary on D-D Breaux, the legendary LSU Gymnastics coach for over forty years, who single-handedly built the program up from nothing, which was incredibly fun and also reminded me of how long Paul and I have been watching LSU Gymnastics. I had been meaning to check out this most recent season of The Traitors, because Johnny Weir and Tara Lipinski are both on, so I switched over to that. We’d never watched the show before, but MY GOD were we entertained! I was kind of hesitant because I despise Lisa Rinna (a complete turn on her, by the way; I was a fan before she was a real housewife), but this show is perfect for her! She stopped being fun as a housewife, but this is the Rinna I enjoyed in her first seasons on the show. We stayed up much later than we intended because we simply couldn’t turn it off–and there are former seasons to catch up on, too! HUZZAH!!!

It looks like its going to be another gorgeous day out on the parade route–maybe I’ll wander down there to take some pictures; tomorrow I plan on walking over to Office Depot and take some current pictures of the bead trees; one of the many things I miss about our office on Frenchmen Street is walking to and from there during parade season, and all the bead debris along the way. There was also a racist moment in Tucks yesterday, apparently, with some riders hanging a black doll over the side of the float by the neck with beads–so it looked like a lynching victim, which is completely and totally disgusting and unacceptable. I hope the fucks who did it are publicly named and shamed; they deserve worse. There’s no excuse for that shit ever–let alone during Carnival. They should have been pulled off the float and had the shit kicked out of them.

And on that note, my easy chair and my ice machine are calling me this morning. Seriously, I cannot wait for Paul to get up so we can get back to The Traitors, which is my new addiction! Have a great Sunday wherever you are, and I’ll be back for a Lundi Gras post tomorrow.

Long Way To Go

I slept in a little this morning, until His Majesty King Sparky, Lord of the Lost Apartment, had enough of waiting for his meal and got me up. I feel rested–it really is amazing what a difference waking up naturally (rather than to an alarm) makes. I have to brave the cold today and run some errands, but I intend to get back home and inside as quickly as possible. This morning feels like a read in my chair morning with a blanket draped over me before getting cleaned up and running errands while slurping coffee, which absolutely sounds marvelous. I want to get some writing done today. I had an idea for a short story yesterday for a call for submissions I really would love to do something for, and I would like to get some of that done today or tomorrow. I was also thinking about other stories, and Chlorine, while I worked on the apartment, and also made some notes, which was pretty cool.

Yesterday was a lovely day around here–not so much in the outside world, as ever and always, more on that horror later on–in which I got up, got cleaned up, did my day job duties, and started cleaning and organizing the apartment. I got all the laundry done, a start on the books again, and started organizing the laundry room/pantry shelves. I tried reattaching the exhaust hose to the dryer vent numerous times, but it kept coming loose again, turning the room into a sauna briefly. This is going to call for drastic measures, methinks, like Gorilla tape or something similar. But the shelves in the pantry are starting to look neater and more organized, which is always a plus, you know? And very pleasing to look at, you know? I do still like neatness, organization, and tidiness.

I had the news on while I cleaned and organized and occasionally sat down for a break. I greatly enjoyed all the news about the Bezos bribe documentary, Melania, which might be worth streaming for free for the unintentionally funny parts. (Paul does the best imitation of her opening line from the shitty trailer, here we go again, that is so eerily spot on it creeps me out while making me laugh at the same time.) I doubt that it will become a cult classic for midnight viewing, like Showgirls or The Rocky Horror Picture Show, but you know it’s laughably bad. The review in The Guardian was hilariously brutal; I’ve bookmarked it to go back and read it again whenever I feel down and need a cruel laugh to cheer me back up, and who better to laugh at than the soulless Slovenian concubine? The latest Epstein files drop was particularly horrifying (I don’t think most of us have the creatively evil kind of imagination to even consider how horrible all of it actually is–but all you have to do is look at what this vile regime is doing to simply distract us from it to know that its filled with unimaginable horrors. I’ve always said killing the kids was all a part of it, and that was just scratching the surface; the start of the unspeakably vile horrors on that island and various other places. I mean, they arrested a journalist, kidnapped a head of state, killed Americans and Venezuelans, and bombed Iran (unsuccessfully). It’s big, its huge, and the national security of any number of countries are also involved–and we would see behind the curtains at last to see how the wealthy elites have been enriching themselves at our expense in order to do this kind of shit.

The guillotine is too merciful for these pricks. And I hope Don Lemon sues the fuck out of all of them for violating his civil rights, wrongful arrest, targeted prosecution, and abuse of fucking power.

God, how I hate them all.

I have been thinking about my next short story collection, This Town and Other Stories, and finally got the notebook down with the manuscript and notes to take a look and see what I have for it, and what else would need to be finished to finish the collection, and was very pleased to see that I’ve published and sold enough stories since the last time I thought about it that I do have an entire collection of published stories, and won’t need to do write any new ones for it, except as perhaps a bonus for the readers? But we shall see, won’t we?

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines.

Ole Smokey, the Orpheus train float, is one of my favorites.

More Than a Feeling

Sunday morning after yet another low energy Saturday. I slept late again and did next to nothing yesterday, other than a couple of errands (more on that later) and a load of laundry. I spent most of yesterday hanging out with Paul and Sparky and watching television; there was a gymnastics meet that LSU competed in as well as the figure skating finals for men’s and ice dance. That was my entire day, really, and I also was lazy enough to let everything slide, so I have a messy kitchen and living room to deal with this morning. I didn’t read, and we didn’t watch much of anything else other than some news and other clips on Youtube between the gymnastics and figure skating. I do feel more rested today, which is a plus, and I slept late again this morning, too. No worries, I decided yesterday that regretting sleeping longer than usual is counter-productive. I need to rest, and it’s not laziness if you want to sleep later. One thing I need to unpack and process and get over this year is the fear of being thought lazy–and you’re not lazy if you’re not doing something productive every minute and second of every single day. (Thanks, Mom!)

I have no idea what today is going to be like and I am not really making definitive plans for the day. I do need to update my to-do list, make a grocery list, pay some bills, and I do need to do something about the kitchen/living room. I did notice the other day that the barricades for St. Charles’ Carnival Slalom Course are already out on the neutral grounds on the Avenue, which is going to be fun driving down on my way home from work during the parade weeks as I rush to get home before they close the Avenue off, sealing those of us who live in the Box off from the rest of the city. I forgot to bring home boxes from work to pack up more books for the library sale, having finally reached the acceptance phase of knowing I’ll never read all the books I have on hand and should give someone else the opportunity to read them. I paid for them already, after all, so the authors have gotten a royalty from me so why not let someone else have them, right? Books aren’t for decor, they are to be read and enjoyed and shared, and I no longer need to have books stuffed on every available surface and into cabinets and the attic and so forth, to feel comfort. I always used to be afraid I’d run out of something to read and so always needed a big TBR pile. I don’t need that anymore, and I will never run out of things to read so long as I have my iPad.

I also don’t have the anxiety that drove the book hoarding anymore, either.

I see that the Virulently Anti-Black Queens offered a non-apology yesterday that went over almost as well as their racism and misogyny did in the first place. I believe people when they show me who they are the first time, thanks. I also loved seeing gay white men telling Black people on social media what is and isn’t racism. Way to beat the allegations that we’re racists, guys. It also pisses me off because I always want to support queer people and their art, but I can’t be supportive of problematic gay men, especially when they target Black people for disdain and contempt that is clearly rooted in white supremacy–there are plenty of white gay men who think because they’re marginalized they can’t be racist. Au contraire, mon frere–being marginalized yourself doesn’t mean you can marginalize and belittle others because you’re white or have proximity to whiteness. Do better, people. I’m not perfect and make mistakes all the fucking time–but I also try to take responsibility for my words, and learn. We all have to unpack things we learned and absorbed from the culture and society we were raised in–those things aren’t our fault entirely, but not unpacking them and clearing them out of our psyches IS.

It’s not really that hard to look at other demographics through a lens of humanity first, and it really shouldn’t be that difficult for all of us to be more empathetic and to call out dehumanizing behavior and language.

When I picked up the mail yesterday, my box o’books for Hurricane Season Hustle had arrived. And while it’s always a thrill to get said author copies–that never gets old–I did have a bit of a pang, thinking Yay! followed by Christ, where am I going to keep these? That was a new reaction, and probably due to not having the anxiety anymore and being more pragmatic about the book hoarding. The kitchen was too messy to take a picture of the box o’books to post the way I always do; so I’ll have to get some work done on the room before I can unpack the box and do my usual routine with the books.

And on that note, the kitchen isn’t going to clean itself and Sparky wants my desk chair for his morning nap, so…I am going to close this and head into the spice mines, whether I want to or not. Enjoy your Sunday, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back tomorrow morning before work.