If I Were You

Wednesday! We have almost made it to the weekend…and parade season. I don’t know why I bother thinking I can get anything done during the parade days. We’re going to try to make a Costco run on Friday and get back home before the streets close; I also have dinner plans and will have to walk there. I slept really well last night, as I was very tired when I got off from work and after running errands on my way home from the office. It’s raining–supposed to clear by nine, with no more rain for the rest of the day, and we’re back to normal February weather after the rain ends–fifties and sixties for the first parade weekend. I think the rain had something to do with the good, deep sleep, because rain always makes me sleep deeply. But I am awake, feel rested, and that’s good. I dragged some yesterday, hitting a wall in the afternoon so had to fight the urge to not run the errands after work, but I somehow managed. But it was a pretty good day at work, I stayed current on everything and caught up on a few things. I even forced myself to finish the laundry and get to work on the dishes, but forgot to run the dishwasher before i went up to bed, so will turn it on when I head out to the office.

It’s weird to feel so awake and rested in the middle of the week, but we’ll see if I can make it through the day without hitting a wall, won’t we?

But I picked up an insane amount of prescriptions yesterday, and we had a lot of mail, too. My injectable medication arrived, so I got it home and refrigerated. We watched His and Hers, and a lot of the news, to get a grasp on what is going on. the country and it seems almost completely insane–but it has for many, many years. It is interesting watching white people wake up to the hell they’ve wrought upon us all. I particularly enjoyed watching one Chad Watts of Kyle, Texas, getting his ass kicked by kids he attacked yesterday–he naturally went nowhere near the boys, the BIG MAN got out of his truck, pushed a girl down and started swinging on another. The girls were handling themselves well by beating the snot out of him, but their fellow protesters were NOT TODAY SATAN NOT TODAY and turned Mr. Big Man–who clearly only attacks those he perceives as weaker–into a fucking example. Generation Z and Alpha are not having it, and I am with them. These are the kids who’ve grown up since babyhood aware that the rest of the country was perfectly fine with them being slaughtered at school, so are we really surprised they learned run, hide, fight in kindergarten? An adult comes for a group of kids, they are ALL going to come for you because that’s what our gun culture required them to be taught as soon as they could walk. So, seeing a pro-gun MAGA getting his ass kicked by a group of high school kids around the age of fourteen? Chef’s kiss, no notes. These kids have spent their entire lives being wary of being shot in class and you think they’re going to be right wing? Their future has also been throttled, we’re busy polluting the world they have to live in (not to mention all the climate change stuff), and they are aware they may never own a house, have a career, or a family because of the world the previous generation has left for them.

Funny how “but the children”” not only doesn’t apply to making sure they have clean water, healthy food, or clean air to breathe, but their futures. But then the “but the children” people don’t think pedophilia is a un-crossable line, either–despite their trying to blame all queer people for it, right, Chaya, you fucking syphilitic skank? How DO you feel about being played for a fool these last ten years, or let me guess–you’re ploughing ahead with full steam despite the truth slapping you repeatedly in your hideously evil face. I really do need to kill her off in a book soon, don’t I?

Hmmm.

I did actually finish and send out a newsletter yesterday (you can read it here, if you like), about putting together the Scotty Bible to help with continuity issues with the series. I want to do two more, with the second going out on release day (February 10, for the record) and the other maybe between now and then. I did work on my short story a bit yesterday, too, so I am getting back in the saddle of slow going again. Anything, however, is better than nothing.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Hope your Wednesday is marvelous as you are, Constant Reader, and I’ll be here again tomorrow morning.

New Orleans really spoils us when it comes to parades. Every other parade now seems dull and pointless.

Talk to Me

Monday morning and it’s still cold. Go figure. Parades start this very Friday, and if it’s cold, well, I won’t be bold. I am not going out there to get sick from being out in the cold, and besides, I’m old. Maybe it’s all that history I read where someone old caught a chill that developed into pneumonia and death within days. As much as I joke about it, I am not in any rush to leap into my grave (or the crematorium, as it were). I just don’t like being sick–and last spring I was sick enough to last me for a lifetime, thank you very much. I am about ready for this cold to take a serious hike. Although apparently tomorrow’s high is going to be seventy? But then it gets cold again for the rest of the week, but not nearly as bad as this weekend and today are going to be. Layers, layers, layers.

Yesterday morning was disrupted by the power outage. It was only out for an hour, but it was enough to disrupt the day and throw it off track. I did read in bed under my blankets with my coffee until the power came back on, which was lovely. After which, I went downstairs and read while watching the news. I was pleased that Carlos Alcaraz won the Australian Open (I am no longer a fan of anti-vaxxer Novak Djokovic). After Paul got up we finished The Night Manager before moving on to His and Hers, which is interesting so far. I do enjoy Jon Bernthal, so there’s always that. (I didn’t like his take on American Gigolo, which could have been really great, but we didn’t finish.) I didn’t get a lot of anything done yesterday, overall, but I did get some chores done and the house won’t take much to look orderly. We’ll see how I feel when I get home. I have to make groceries on the way, but that’s not a big deal. I have some dishes to do and such, but other than that and straightening out the kitchen rugs, I think I am pretty caught up on the house? There’s no laundry left to do, the dishwasher is empty and ready to be loaded, so once I put away the groceries, I can do that.

The news, for the most part, has been good lately–or at least, better than it has been. This weekend’s Epstein reveals were staggering, and are only going to continue to get worse and worse. Murder? Rape? Torture? Cannibalism? How nice that our modern elites looked at Caligula’s court and said “hold my beer”, right? I mean, we’re still living under a fascist government, so the news can only be so good, you know? Minneapolis is still under siege, the Supreme Court continues to be a joke on the regular, and day by day the trash that voted for him to “own the libs” are slowly peeling away from him because the hellish policies of the mad king are affecting them, too–which “isn’t what they voted for.” Aw, shucks, sugar, we warned you and you mocked us–and while I am pragmatic enough to understand we need them to turn on all of this and vote it out; but that doesn’t mean I am forgiving anyone. Even those of us who voted for the lady with the weird laugh own this, too–because we’re Americans, and we could have done more to stop this. None of us get to say we aren’t responsible for this because it is our government, we’ve allowed this all to happen, and now we all have to come together to rebuilt it all back together and clean up this fucking mess.

That was part of the reason I wanted to watch Judgment at Nuremberg again–we haven’t finished, we only got about forty minutes into it–because of the entire notion of societal responsibility and guilt. After the war, the common German people–who’d seig heil‘ed and gone to the rallies and threw flowers and cheered the military parades–weren’t allowed to look away from their government had done in their name. The question of “true believer” or “too afraid to say anything” is something that can never really be answered. I was born sixteen years after the war ended in a neighborhood filled with war and post-war refugees from eastern Europe. I was shown the military films of the freeing of the camps in elementary school. I learned very young that fascism and Nazism were both evil. My childhood and teens were filled with stories of the MOSSAD tracking down Nazi war criminals, all over the world. There was a lot of World War II historical fiction out there, too, and even more fiction about Nazism rising again out of the ashes of history–William Goldman’s Marathon Man, for one, and Ira Levin’s brilliant The Boys from Brazil–and I did see Judgment at Nuremberg in my teens, which got me interested in the day-to-day German people, how the scourge rose to power, and what they lived through and experienced. We were taught that Nazis and fascism and antisemitism were societal evils…and that we Americans, with our freedoms and our democratic republic, were morally superior. (We were not–and in our American arrogance we also believed that such a thing could happen here.) Now we are in a situation (again) where our government has turned us into a rogue, authoritarian wannabe dictatorship–just as the Roman republic declined into an autocracy. Don’t blame us! we post on social media in response to foreign scolding, we didn’t vote for this!

How does that make us any better than the former supporters saying this now? The American penchant for dodging responsibility is perhaps our worst, most narcissistic, societal and cultural flaw.

And on that somber note, I am going to head into the spice mines. Have a lovely day, Constant Reader, and try to stay warm if you can.

The dragon float arrives at the Orpheus Ball

I Can’t Wait

Work-at-home Friday, and all through the Lost Apartment only Sparky and I are stirring. He’s scarfing down his breakfast as I type, while sipping my coffee. The extreme cold weather forecast has now been extended through Sunday at noon. Heavy sigh. It could at least snow! Somehow, the magic of snow in New Orleans last year made me forget about how cold it was…I still can’t get over how beautiful the city looked buried in snow. I slept really well last night, and feel pretty good this morning. I hope to get a lot done this weekend, but–no big deal if I don’t. I have my biweekly team meeting at ten this morning, and some admin work to get done before I call it a day. I was thinking I might take a break and do some errands, but I may let that slide until tomorrow; I do have to go uptown at some point this weekend, but maybe not today. I’ll see how I feel. I do want to get finished with reading my books this weekend, and I do want to spend some time organizing my writing and figuring out what to do with these short stories and calls for submissions. I also want to prune the books and make progress on my to-do list.

I bought a notebook with Things I need to get done but probably won’t on the cover, and I am using it as a running to-do list. Yes, this is kind of inspired by Donna Andrews1‘ marvelous Meg Langslow characters “notebook-that-tells-me-when-to-breathe,” and I kind of like it. You cross things off but keeping adding to it. I always numbered those lists when I made them, and am still doing that, but need to break the habit because it’ll eventually be in the hundreds, won’t it? How daunting would that be? “I just crossed number 435 off my to-do list!” I mean, yikes.

It’s hard to believe that a week from today the parades start and madness descends upon the city, but it’s a joyous kind of madness. I hate the logistics of life during the season–finding a place to park, having to be strategic about making groceries, having to leave work early, the noise down at the corner when I go to bed early…but I have Lundi Gras off, so that morning I can make a grocery run and get back before the streets close again. I also don’t have the stamina for standing outside for hours yet, so I will probably got a bit worn down again. At least this year I am not going into it full of depredation before finally giving into it–you can’t beat it, after all, so you might as well not resist and just dive-in head first.

And the bead trees of St. Charles will be blooming again soon.

Yesterday was a busy day at the clinic–almost everyone showed up, so I saw quite a few patients–but despite that I was able to stay caught-up on my “at the office” admin work. I came straight home from work, came inside the house and unloaded, fed Sparky, and started working on the laundry and some other chores. By the time Paul got home, I had done quite a bit around here, including organizing files. I do have more chores to get done today–the never-ending cycle of laundry is quite remarkable–but I need to reattach the dryer hose to the vent, which came loose this past week. I can still run the dryer but the heat stays in the room, and…there’s stuff on the pantry shelves that moist heat can wreck, so I need to pull the dryer out and reattach the hose. I just need to take everything off that bottom shelf and remove it temporarily so I can get back there–which is why I’ve not already done it. It’ll also help me with my reorganize the pantry shelves project. Paul got home late, and we watched this week’s The Beauty, which is insane but highly watchable (more on that later) and we also watched some of the Australian Open. The Olympics open that first parade weekend, too. #madness

And on that note, I think I am going to get cleaned up and started on my day. Thanks as always for stopping by, Constant Reader, and I hope you’re safe, snug and warm during this Arctic blast cold spell. I’ll be back in the morning, so see you then!

The bead trees will start blooming one week from today!

Sister Honey

Thursday and my last day in the office for the week, and my last free weekend before parades. It’s so weird to think that parades are starting next weekend. Holy shit, right? But a week from tomorrow is the first night of parades, with Alla and Cleopatra, with six on Saturday and three on Sunday before all the true madness really begins the following week. I hope the weather is nice for the parades this year, since this is the first time in years I’m actually feeling like I can enjoy them this season. I don’t know how long I’ll be able to stand at the corner, but I always seem to forget being old and tired when I am out there and the throws are a-flyin’. I also forget about it being damp and cold, too. Paul and I stood out in the rain one night for Orpheus and had the best time. I slept really well and actually woke up around five, to nap on and off until Sparky became determined to get me up for a feeding. Since I did go to the bathroom when I woke up at five, I saw that he was curled up at my feet in the bed–and when I came back, he cuddled up to my calves. Such a sweet, adorable baby…until he started nipping my fingers so I would get up to feed him.

After I ran my errands in the bitter cold on my way home from work, I came home and just collapsed into my easy chair. Sparky curled up in my lap (after being fed, of course) while I caught up on the day’s horrors–er, news–before turning to the final episode of the finale for Real Housewives of Salt Lake City’s reunion. I’m not really sure there’s any point to these reunions/rehashings of the season–it just gives them all a chance to yell at each other all over again, with a noncommittal resolution that’s seems required by that smug expired twinkie Andy Cohen (at some point I will do a newsletter about the Housewives shows).

The amount of virality that continues with Heated Rivalry and its stars continues to astound and amaze me. It does also please me; I’ve become rather entranced with them myself and feel almost paternally protective of them. I watch reels and videos about them and their journey to international stardom. They all have such adorable personalities, and are all so humble about all this sudden success and fame…and it’s just kind of fun to see, you know?1 And who doesn’t love a rags to riches story? It also amazes me how different Connor Storrie is from the character he played–and I don’t just mean the acting. He looks different. Similar, but different. As Ilya, he doesn’t really use his very expressive face the way he does as himself; so much so that he doesn’t seem like the same person. I feel like physical actors don’t get as much credit as they deserve; I always think of that scene in Superman where Christopher Reeve changes from Clark Kent into Superman but only in posture and physically, and it was extraordinary; he never got the credit he deserved for his acting talent.

Yesterday was an odd one, energy-wise. I wasn’t tired, and I ran my errands on the way home, coming straight home tonight with no stops, might have things delivered if I need anything over the weekend. We had a lot of no-shows yesterday–I think I wound up only seeing two or three people total–so I found myself catching up on a lot of other work that doesn’t involve seeing clients. We’re scheduled heavier than yesterday and I am alone in the clinic yet again…and I have some other things I need to get done today around clients. I feel pretty good this morning, though, and like I’ll be able to get everything under control today. Tonight when I get home I have some chores to do once His Majesty has been fed and gotten enough attention, and then I think I’ll probably catch up on the news before watching this week’s The Beauty. We’re also a bit behind on The Night Manager, too. And of course the Australian Open is on, and the Olympics are also coming up…during parade season!

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Thursday, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back tomorrow morning.

  1. I’m still bitter about Boots being canceled. ↩︎

Rock a Little

Monday morning and it’s back to the spice mines with me this morning. There are worse things I could do, one supposes. The cold has arrived; it’s only 29 outside and I can absolutely tell as I swill coffee and shiver a bit here at my home workspace. Sparky has been glued to me since I got up–although why he isn’t cuddled up with Paul in the bed is indeed a mystery to me; that’s where I’d be if the alarm hadn’t gone off and I could have slept another few hours, comfy and cozy and warm under my pile of blankets. But I am awake, it’s not terribly cold inside (it could be worse) and we didn’t lose power, which is a big plus. That was my primary concern–the loss of power and no heat, like that year we didn’t have heat and it froze on Mardi Gras day. Shiver. That was beyond miserable, and not an experience I would like to relive at any point in my life.

This is my first full week of work this year so far–I think; there may have been one earlier that I’ve forgotten about, but it’s been a hot minute since I’ve had to go into the office four days in a row. I don’t think I have to work in the clinic this morning, but have been wrong before. Either way, it’ll be fine. I do hope Dad and the rest of my family in Kentucky have power and are safe and warm and staying inside. They are–I just checked the power outage map up there. Whew. It’s really not feeling too terribly cold this morning; despite the low temperature, but my hips, ankles and Achilles tendons are aching this morning. The most fun thing about being old when it gets cold is these aches I never used to have.

I found myself in a bit of malaise yesterday; more of an emotional exhaustion than anything else. The state of the country and the world just got to be a bit overwhelming for me this weekend–the existential horror of everything was a bit too much and it kind of got to me. What can I say? How are you coping with the daily burning of the Constitution by the fascist administration? I couldn’t focus to write–I did take some notes, but when thinking about anything that I am currently writing, it just seemed kind of pointless and frivolous. I know we need art and literature to help people get through these horrifying times, and feeling and expressing and creating joy in dark times can be a beacon of hope for people trying to cope…but sometimes, I just need to accept that it’s overwhelming and sometimes it causes paralysis. I didn’t do much of anything yesterday other than do some dishes and just mindlessly watch political commentary or old sports highlights or history videos while paging through a non-fiction history (The Fall of the Dynasties, to be exact). I did watch the I Want My MTV documentary–the cultural impact of MTV in the 1980s cannot ever be overestimated–which was kind of fun and had me remembering the early days of it and how we were all addicted to it back then.

One of the few bright spots of this year so far has been the enormous reception to Heated Rivalry, and how its two young stars–Connor Storie and Hudson Williams–have become global superstars in a matter of weeks. I was happy to see they got to carry the Olympic torch in Italy, which was incredibly cool for them. I wish them nothing but the best, and I have to say that I am absolutely delighted for them both, for the show, and the representation. Can we also drop the “but it was written by a woman!” nonsense? Regardless of the politics of who writes who and what is or isn’t cultural appropriation and so forth–which is far too nuanced to be discussed in 120 characters or whatever the fuck the limit is on those Twitter-style social media apps–can’t we just enjoy the fact that a show about two men falling in love is the hottest thing on the planet right now? Can we stop being concerned about straight people watching and their opinions, and whether or not they’re pandering for views or clicks?

I would like to take a moment to remind everyone that the biggest selling gay novel of the modern post-Stonewall era was The Front Runner by Patricia Nell Warren? I knew Patricia very well, and I can assure you that she was definitely not a man.

Heavy sigh.

And on that note, it’s off to the spice mines with me for the day. Wish me luck on the day–who knows what it will bring in its wake. I’ll be back tomorrow, though. No worries!

Nightbird

And it’s back to the office on this odd week of day off, day on alternating since Monday. It’s going to be warm all day–it’s sixty outside right now–before the cold weather returns with a vengeance this weekend. I slept well last night, and as usual, didn’t want to get out of bed this morning. Yesterday was different; going to a memorial service in the middle of the day was certainly something new and unusual and out of the ordinary. I felt emotionally drained after we got back home–it was lovely seeing people I’ve not seen in years, of course–but it also required me to interact socially, which wore me down and out. I watched the second episode of the Salt Lake City reunion, and we got an episode of The Night Manager out of the way, too, before calling it an evening and going to bed early, which is on the agenda for this evening, too. I can come straight home after work–we got the mail yesterday, so I shouldn’t have to leave the apartment all weekend–and hopefully get some chores out of the way, if I’m not terribly tired when I get home. I also have a lot of things to do at work today…so yeah, I might be tired tonight. And so what if I am?

It’s kind of nice not having anxiety anymore.

But I am not achy or tired physically this morning, so I think I am now past the bodily shake-up and shock from the car accident Monday afternoon. That seems like a million years ago now, with the way that time passes so quickly these days. It’s February and Carnival before we know it, and then the Festivals loom on the horizon. This is the best I’ve felt all week in the morning, so I suspect there was some lingering exhaustion from something or another–which is nice; I always worry I’m about to have another UC attack because I sure as hell don’t want to go through another bout of that–although I do wonder how it would be treated now that I am on the medication. Who knows? I am not a doctor nor do I play one on television.

It was a year ago that New Orleans was buried in snow and the entire city shut down for two days. It was delightful, and made me rethink my long-time hatred of snow. It helped that I didn’t have to go outside as work closed for the duration; instead, me and Sparky were nice and toasty warm inside the Lost Apartment, watching television and loving how the city was reacting to this weather weirdness. I kind of wish we’d get snow again, but even with this enormous and dangerous winter storm coming, it’s still a very long shot.

I feel very alert and rested, now that the coffee has started kicking into gear and I’ve had some coffee cake. I got a Hubig’s cream cheese King cake the other day when I made groceries, and it is quite delicious–though there’s not nearly as much cream cheese as they put in the Rouse’s brand ones, which is what I usually get. Yes, I know there are some amazing king cakes to be had in New Orleans, but the store brand has always worked for us and we’ve never been king cake snobs. I do like the more bougie ones, but I only have those when someone brings one in to work, or we go to a party somewhere during the season. My supervisor will occasionally bring some really good ones from Cannata’s Bakery out in Houma, where she lives; they are quite delicious.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Thursday (it feels like Monday, and I feel like I usually do on Mondays), Constant Reader, and I will be back home tomorrow for work-at-home Friday.

I Will Run to You

Sunday morning, I am up early, and it’s 35 degrees here. No snow here that I am aware of, but some places along the Gulf Coast did get snow, like Gulf Shores, Alabama. This morning is the best I’ve felt in the morning this entire weekend, and I think after yesterday’s low-energy-didn’t-even-unload-the-dishwasher day, it’ll be nice to get things done this morning and have a nice day. I did run those errands yesterday, so I don’t have to leave the house today (tomorrow may be a different story); and it’s warm and cozy inside this morning, too, which is marvelous–can some time in my easy chair with a book and a blanket be in my future? Absolutely! I am also going to shave and get thoroughly cleaned up this morning, too. AMBITIOUS, right? Getting up early and feeling genuinely rested is a lovely feeling, I must say.

We finished Run Away last night, which was fun and interesting and went into an entirely different path than I expected from the beginning. We then moved on to the new Agatha Christie adaptation, Seven Dials, which is based on one of my favorite Agatha Christies, The Seven Dials Mystery. I’ve always been an odd Christie fan; I started reading her when I was about ten or eleven, and spent most of my teens reading the entire Christie canon. While I did enjoy her more famous and iconic novels, my favorites of hers have always been lesser-known, and are probably considered her weaker ones. My absolute favorite is Endless Night, followed by The Secret of Chimneys, Death Comes as the End, N or M?, and The Pale Horse, among others. I really liked the character of Bundle (Lady Eileen Brent), and she is quite fun in this adaptation as well. We watched the first two episodes last night, and there is one more to go today. I suppose we’ll watch Stranger Things next, as completists, but there’s a lot of good shows to watch at the current moment, a tough problem to have.

As I mentioned, yesterday wound up being a low energy day. I didn’t run all the errands I needed to, cutting some things out because I was tired and didn’t want to push my luck. I did make groceries at Rouses and the Fresh Market, but after bringing everything in I was pretty wiped for the rest of the day, and my brain couldn’t really focus enough to read, so it was back to documentaries for me in the afternoon while Sparky napped in my lap. I did clean up and organize some computer files–an endless task indeed–which I will probably do more of today. The apartment isn’t neat and orderly, but it’s getting there. Today may also be a “prune the books” kind of day, too. I definitely need to empty the dishwasher and take the recycling out, for sure, and get the rugs back in order. It’s weird to have tomorrow of as well, but…there are worse things. I took Wednesday off for a funeral, too, so this is going to be a very strange week for me. Normality will return next week, but then it’s Carnival.

Sigh.

I’m really getting used to–and spoiled–by all this time off from work.

Despite the temperature, it’s beautiful and sunny outside today, with a blue sky and no clouds to be seen anywhere. I just saw that it also snowed in Pensacola, which is wild…Pensacola being about two hours or so from New Orleans east on I-10. Snow below I-10 is kind of crazy; I always joke that I moved south of I-10 specifically to avoid cold weather. I definitely need to write a Scotty set during the blizzard last year…I’ve decided to jump ahead with the series rather than trying to keep the books in a continuous timeframe, realizing at the way things are going in a couple of years the books would be considered historical fiction if I kept on the way I was, so I am going to skip ahead and recap in the intro to the next one. I can also go back and write more that are out of order, if need be; other series have done that, too.

And on that note, I am going to get another cup of coffee and read for a bit. Have a lovely Sunday, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back tomorrow morning.

Smokin’

Pay the Bills Wednesday has somehow rolled around again, and yes, there are bills to pay and errands to run and all of that fun stuff for me after work this evening. It was cold again yesterday, but this time I was smarter and wore layers. I don’t think it was as cold in the office yesterday as it was Monday…but again, that could have simply been layers. It’s also not as cold this morning as it has been, and I am wondering if I should do the layer thing again today anyway; the office has been horrifically cold this week for some reason. A quick check of the weather app on ye olde phone and no, it isn’t going to be in the forties. I slept well last night, so I feel very rested and awake this morning–a pleasant surprise, actually. I came straight home from work yesterday, and of course, had to play with and cuddle with Sparky, as he won’t be denied. I got caught up on the horrible news before watching another episode of Run Away, a particularly twisty show we are enjoying, despite the annoying male main character’s toxicity, and then it was off to bed for me.

I also managed to get my latest newsletter (which you can read by clicking here if you so desire: America America), which is about my passion for US History and watching the Ken Burns documentary, The American Revolution, which I watched last month and enjoyed. I also found it timely–it reminded me and its viewers of the noble principles of freedom and liberty from oppressive government with which this country was founded–in spite of its legacy of enslavement and genocide, we’ve never really achieved the democratic utopia the founders envisioned (because of the enslavement and genocide)–and whatever this is that we’re living through is about as far from that utopian (for white men) ideal as we ever have been. The so-called “melting pot” theory of the United States has always been kind of bullshit, hasn’t it? The nation of immigrants that slams the door shut on immigration? Just horrific.

Scott Adams, the sad tragic piece of shit who blew up his successful career in comic strips by being very publicly an asshole and turning off the majority of his readers, died this week from prostate cancer. However, as a true MAGA believer he of course distrusted medicine and used quack medicine from quacks to treat it, only for it to not work and to start proper treatment too late: a suicide by stupidity, if you will. The only reason I mention this is his death triggered a post on social media by Kevin M. Kruse, noted US historian, reminding us all of Bill Amend and Foxtrot, a strip I used to absolutely love but had forgotten about, so I subscribed to get his weekly Sunday strip. Huzzah! (Adams, a bottom-feeding scavenging scum piece of shit, also converted–in theory, anyway–to Christianity to save himself from the flames of hell…which is the thing about Christianity that is so bogus to me. You can live your life as the most hateful asshole on the planet, convert on your deathbed and still go to heaven? While someone else, who spends their entire life doing for others and helping people, will go to hell because they didn’t convert? Fuck that shit.)

Which again begs the question: which Christian franchise is the real one? Sigh.

But over all, it’s been a pretty good week overall, as we head into yet another three day weekend.

Erich von Daniken also died recently, which was kind of weird; I was surprised he had only just now passed, to be honest. I have been outlining an essay around the subject of weird takes and lore, beginning with Chariots of the Gods and going on to the Bermuda Triangle and numerous other strange books about strange theories or occurrences that I read a lot about when I was growing up and how those weird books–many of which I didn’t really buy into because of the poor scholarship and lack of actual evidence. But they were interesting ideas and theories that triggered my imagination and anything that does that is worth reading.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Wednesday, and I’ll be back tomorrow!

Peace of Mind

Monday morning and back to the office with me, after am over-all pleasant weekend around here, despite the insanity of everything happening, not just in this country but everywhere around the world–or so it seems. It’s so hard to keep up with the shit in this country to try to keep seeing what’s going on everywhere else, like Ukraine, Sudan, Gaza, and on and on and on. Venezuela is a complete anarchic mess now (I’m seeing reports that gangs are hunting Americans; unconfirmed), the not-so-secret military police body count is on the rise, and every last one of us is unsafe in this country. How are we supposed to go about our daily business and routine like nothing is going on? Write books? Do data entry? And there’s always this sense that looking away from the shit-show that is currently the country is somehow, I don’t know, not helping? I don’t know. Heavy heaving sigh.

And yet…

The grind never lets up, does it? Bills and jobs don’t pause for fascism, alas; the world keeps turning and if I want to eat and have shelter, I have to go to work and make money. Even doing this blog (and my newsletter) and thinking about promoting my book (which drops on 2-10; preorders from your preferred bookseller are always appreciated, by the way) seem frivolous, out of touch, and in poor taste somehow. And yet…we have to keep going somehow, as the Constitution burns and the American experiment in self-rule continues its pitiful and oh-so-tragic decline into fascism. Talking about work, talking about writing, watching television and movies and so on make me feel like Sally in Cabaret–ignoring what is happening around us while focusing on my own needs and career and…I don’t know.

It does seem, though, that we need to find joy in these times wherever we can find it–even if it feels tone-deaf.

It’s cold this morning–forty degrees–and am very glad I turned the heat on before bed last night. I can feel the cold floor through my slippers! But I am enjoying my coffee this morning and I do have to make some groceries after work tonight. On my to-do list is to update my to-do list; I even bought a specific notebook for that purpose (shades of Meg Langslow’s “notebook-that-tells-me-when-to-breathe”)–it’s one of those silly ones that has shit I have to write down because I’m old on the cover. This weekend is yet another three-day one; and then it’s almost parade season and then it’s March. This time of year always flies around here. Suddenly it’s April and hot and you can’t stop wondering where the first part of the year went…and so it goes, right?

We started watching Harlan Coben’s new show, Run Away, last night and got sucked in almost immediately. We burned through the first three episodes, and it’s super nice to get involved in another show again. It’s been a hot minute since we’ve watched anything, and yesterday was, overall, a pretty good day. I felt more motivated than I had all weekend, and got some things done before Paul and I settled in for the evening with dinner and the show. The kitchen is a mess this morning, so when I get home tonight I am going to have to put the groceries away and unload the dishwasher so I can fill it up again. Woo-hoo! I think there’s another load of laundry, too. The chores never end, do they?

And I did make some more notes on the new book yesterday; I think I am actually going to go ahead and start writing it from the beginning this week. I am kind of excited and not feeling any trepidation yet? I’ll be sweating (and swearing) about it soon enough, I am sure.

And now I am going to head into the spice mines. Have a lovely day, remember to stay centered and focused and determined, and we’ll make it through another day. See you in the morning!

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Sea of Heartbreak

Well, we’ve made it to Wednesday, and the seasonal transition from Christmas to Carnival is now complete. I had my first piece of King Cake yesterday, and it was marvelous, as always. I’m a little more excited about Carnival this year than I have been in–oh, I don’t know how long. That last one before the pandemic–2020–was cold and wet and unpleasant and I didn’t enjoy it very much, and then of course the disease started kicking into gear and I’ve not really had much opportunity to enjoy it very much these past few years. Part of it is having to get up so early for work makes staying out late on the parade route counter-intuitive; and the other was of course being so fucking tired all the time.

I’m feeling a bit tired this morning. I’ve worked in the clinic for two days (I had to cover for someone on my Admin Day Monday), we’ve been busy, and I was alone yesterday and for the rest of the week and we’re going to continue to be busy today and tomorrow as well. Sigh. At least I am not fatigued! I was sleepy last night and went to bed early, but managed to get some chores done (I am really trying to stay on top of the chores so I don’t have to spend time on the weekend trying to get them done) before going to bed. I slept well last night, too, which was awesome. My 21 year anniversary is coming up (it already has passed in reality; I started working on the 2nd of January, but they have my “hire date” as one day next week. This mystified me for a while, and gradually figured that the date they have in the files for me was the first time I got paid), which is crazy to me–my temporary part time job somehow turned into a career of sorts, but I was reflecting on that yesterday while remembering previous jobs that I absolutely hated. But I got a lot done at work yesterday and am all caught up on everything, which is great. The goal is to always stay current, and since I am no longer fighting fatigue every day, it’s not that hard to do. Now to get back into the writing habit…

I also have a book coming out next month, and I really should start promoting it, shouldn’t I? I am so terrible at this, and I always forget that I really need to start doing some promotion until the book is almost ready to come out–or is already out. How do I still have a career in writing? One of those mysteries, I suppose, that will never be solved. Heavy heaving sigh.

And TWFest/S&S season is also kicking into gear, and I am about to become my annual period of Festival widowing. Paul will be working almost nonstop–or sleeping; that’s pretty much his schedule from now till April. Heavy sigh. But this is a good opportunity and time for me to get some things done that I need to get done. I am definitely pruning the fuck out of the books; many of them I will never get around to reading, and much as I like always being surrounded by books…until I am seriously reading regularly again I need to stop buying more books. I did an excellent job last year restricting myself from buying tons of books I’ll probably never read, but yeah–it’s time to clean everything out, methinks. There are also well over a hundred books on my iPad, too. I also think I’m going to start clearing out files, too; I can always make notes in a journal of anything that looks interesting or useful in the future. STOP HOARDING GREGALICIOUS!!!

And on that note, I am going to head into the spice mines. Have a lovely day, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back tomorrow for sure.