Fire

I’m riding in your car…you turn on the radio…

I love the Pointer Sisters, and “Fire” is definitely one of my favorite Pointer Sisters songs. I saw them in concert in the summer of 1985 on Oakland–and the live rendition of “Fire” was, simply stated, phenomenal. The opening act was Katrina and the Waves and the headliner was Wham! Most of the people there were there for Wham (I wasn’t), and when I tell you the Pointer Sisters turned that sold-out crowd in the Oakland Coliseum into fans, I am not lying. Three songs into their set and the entire place was on its feet and dancing. I was a fan before, but seeing them live turned me into a super-fan. (In fairness, I wasn’t a fan of Wham, but seeing them live turned me into one…and I remain grateful that I saw George Michael perform live, when he was still barely out of his teens.)

Well, it’s Pay-the-Bills Wednesday again, and Paul is moving into the hotel for the weekend so won’t be here tonight when I get home from work. Sparky will be terribly needy all evening when I get home, which is fine. I really need to get my act together for this weekend, although I suspect that getting prepared in the morning every day will be enough. Hey, at least I prepare now, which I didn’t used to do. Can’t imagine why I always had such stage fright, can you? Of course, that was also the anxiety controlling me, although I probably should have come up with a different coping mechanism than alcohol, which is what I used for a very long time.

Don’t miss that in the least.

I worked on the book last night, and I realized also that it was a transitional chapter–which I’ve always struggled with. But it’s done, and now I can move on with the book. I’ve a lot of writing to do in order to meet the deadline on this book–and as always, present-Greg is very annoyed with past-Greg, for once again doing this to myself. I always think, when I’m in the middle of rushing to finish a book, that I am never going to do this again and then…I do it again with the next one, and the next and the next…heavy heaving sigh. It’s the story of my life, over and over and over again. I am also not going to lie; I’ve worried that having my anxiety now controlled by medication meant that I’d not be as driven to write as I was before, but it seems like nothing’s really changed, rather than the level of anxiety I have about finishing a book. But…I’ve sold three short stories already this year, how cool is that? And now that I am rolling with the writing again, I am starting to get excited about the next book to write and finishing some other short stories. Woo-hoo!

I was too fried after writing last night to do any reading, so here’s hoping I’ll be able to get back into reading tonight. I’ll probably do some straightening up around the place once I get my writing done for the night, too. Huzzah!

And on that note, I am going to head into the spice mines. Have a lovely day, and I must pay the bills. Be back later!

You Wanna Jitterbug?

I’m not really sure when I became aware of Wham!, if I’m being completely honest. I think I remember seeing the video for either “Wham Rap” or “Bad Boys” on MTV, and I immediately clocked the lead singer, a handsome young boy with brown hair and an amazing smile…but thought the other guy (who turned out to be Andrew Ridgely) was more attractive. When they released their next album, Make It Big, I really liked the debut single, “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go,” which was catchy and boppy and a lot of fun. The video was probably one of the gayest things I’d ever seen, but again–it was light and catchy and fun and silly, like the song. I bought the album, which was far better than I could have ever imagined it being, but I never became a big fan. Their next release, Music from the Edge of Heaven, included my favorite song of theirs (“I’m Your Man”), and I actually saw them in concert, in Oakland. I was working at a department store at the time, and some of my co-workers were HUGE fans. They’d bought tickets to a Wham concert, and one of the people dropped out…and they offered me the ticket. I was already burning out on concerts at this point, didn’t really want to drive to Oakland for a concert, and wasn’t a huge fan of the main act….but there were two opening acts: Katrina and the Waves, whom I also liked, and the Pointer Sisters, whom I loved. So, I agreed to go and use the ticket, figuring at least I know the Pointer Sisters will be amazing live (they were), but I wasn’t prepared for how fantastic this little teeny-bopper bubblegum teen idol-style act would be. George Michael was incredible live.

I left that concert a George Michael fan, and shortly thereafter Wham dissolved and George went solo…and had the kind of solo career that all artists hope for, which completely eclipsed Wham. Andrew and Wham played a small role in the two George Michael documentaries we watched recently, but when I saw that there was a Netflix documentary that focused solely on Wham, I thought, I need to watch that because no one really remembers how fucking HUGE Wham was before George went solo.

And taking into consideration that they were in their late teens/early twenties when they blew up…that’s pretty remarkable.

As I said, I tagged George Michael as gay the first time I saw one of their videos. (I also tagged Freddie Mercury the first time I saw him; Greg Louganis at the Montreal Olympics; Elton John; and any number of others who eventually came out.) I couldn’t tell you what it was about George; whether it was his voice, his posture, the way he moved, what it was about him, but every alarm in my head went off. He’s gay was my first thought, and my second was one of sympathy. Sure, I was in my early twenties, deeply closeted and deeply conflicted about my life and my future, but I still felt sorry for a rising pop star/teen idol on the cusp of superstardom because all I could think was, if not being myself is making ME so miserable and I’m just a college student, how awful would it be if you were a worldwide star/celebrity? I felt nothing but sympathy for anyone else, regardless of class or status, who had to lead a closeted existence.

How much worse was it for someone in show business, who achieved worldwide superstardom?

And while obviously Andrew Ridgely is the only one of the two still around, it’s pretty clear he and George remained close until George’s death. They were childhood friends; the pictures of them from childhood are astonishing. Andrew was always a pretty boy–he’s kind of always looked the same, really; for me it’s the eyes–while George was kind of plain and drab; who knew he’d grow up and have supermodel looks? I always wondered, you know. Andrew always seemed kind of superfluous to the group, if I’m being honest; I guess he co-wrote some of their songs, and I also guess his presence–his own exuberance and showmanship–helped George with his own shyness and the support was there for him always; he mentioned in one of the documentaries about his life that the mutual agreement to disband also meant that he was going to have to face all of it on his own for the first time.

But the primary takeaway from the documentary–outside of what a good friend Andrew truly was–is how HUGE Wham actually was world-wide before they disbanded. They toured Communist China in the mid-80’s to sold out arenas. That was kind of a big deal back then, as Western entertainers were viewed by the regime as “decadent.”

How did I know George Michael and the others were gay the first time I ever laid eyes on them on my television screen? I honestly don’t know. I’ve never looked at or considered “gaydar” as anything other than a joke, really; something all gay men joke about as we wish for the hottest of male celebrities–singers, musicians, athletes, actors–to turn out to be gay after all. Representation matters so much, and with more and more celebrities feeling comfortable and confident enough to come out over the last decade or so, we’re getting queer characters on television series and in books; we’re even getting television series and movies with gays as primary characters. I don’t like it, obviously, when the representation is bad, but at the same time we gays come in every shape, size, and type of person. There are gay villains and demons just as there are role models and angels. I do wonder, when my mind is wandering and I am tired, if gaydar is actually a thing; something that was programmed into our collective DNA millennia ago, giving same-sex attracted person a subconscious sense that recognizes like, as in oh he is like me as a protective measure? What was it about George Michael, and Elton John, Greg Louganis and Freddie Mercury before him, that triggered something identifiable in my brain? (I did wonder about Rock Hudson when watching McMillan and Wife.)

It’s curious, isn’t it?

If you’re a George Michael fan, I highly recommend Wham, because the fact that George was a huge star already before he went solo sometimes (often) gets left out of the story.

And Make it Big is still a good record.

Heaven Must Be Missing An Angel

It started raining last night as I retired to bed. Lovely, I thought, the sound of rain always helps me sleep better. There’s just something about being warm and dry underneath blankets while it’s pouring rain outside that, I don’t know, that makes me feel comfortable and relax, which is, quite naturally, rather lovely. It rained pretty heavily all night, actually; thunder woke me a couple of times, but I was able to easily go back to sleep, which was quite marvelous. I woke up this morning a little later than usual, and after seeing articles like this one, popping up on my notifications when I sat down at my computer, I might not have known how bad the raining–and subsequent flooding–actually was. My street generally doesn’t flood–it might take on an inch or so or water, but the entire neighborhood basically drains to Coliseum Square–but I did go out and check. I didn’t see any telltale leaves or dirt on the sides of any of the cars parked out there, so I am going to assume my car is okay this morning.

One can hope, at any rate.

So, yesterday I managed to write quite a bit in a very short period of time; over three thousand words on chapters nine and ten, finishing them off and bringing me back to the point where I have to start writing new chapters. Revising these first ten chapters has, as intended, brought me back into the story again, so today I am going to try to write Chapter Eleven as well as map out the rest of the middle of the book. This pleases me inordinately; I should be able to get the rest of this first draft finished by the end of the month; there’s also a three day weekend to look forward to, which is also kind of awesome. It felt great doing all that writing yesterday, and when I was finished for the day I was amazed at how great I felt. It was also a bit of a relief; whenever writing becomes hard, you always begin to question whether or not the well has run dry and your glory days are behind you.

I think that becomes worse the older you get, too–because things you’ve become used to over the course of your life begin to go away the older you get, you know? Things like teeth and hair and firm skin…the ability to write.

I watched the first episode of Fosse Verdon last night, and greatly enjoyed it. I was sort of familiar already with the story–I watched All That Jazz a very long time ago, and that film sort of spelled out the Fosse story, while of course centering Fosse and shoving Verdon’s importance to his career to the side (as always); I’m glad to see this series making this very clear. Michelle Williams and Sam Rockwell are incredible; I don’t know who the actress playing young Liza Minnelli is, but she also knocked it out of the part, turning what could very easily have been your standard caricature into an actual performance. It also didn’t hurt that the first episode primarily focused on the filming of Cabaret, a film I first saw when I was very young and didn’t much care for, but as an older adult have grown to appreciate all the more–and watching this episode actually made me want to see it yet again. It’s a very good show; I hope people are watching.

I am also still thinking about Dead to Me, which is absolutely superb. Seriously, Constant Reader, you need to watch this show.

So, yesterday, as you can tell, was a good day for the most part–the overnight street flooding aside–and I also managed to get some filing and organizing and cleaning done, which was also pretty marvelous. The Lost Apartment looks better than it has in quite some time–I was managing the cleaning/writing balance pretty well–and when I was finished (quite early, actually) with the writing I was able to focus on the cleaning/filing/organizing, and it all went well. I did some backing up of computer files–the computer is getting wonky again–and did all the dishes and so forth, which was also quite lovely. I also did some note-taking in my journal.

Go, Gregalicious!

I am also really loving my Spotify subscription; I am truly sorry I didn’t discover it and its magic long ago. I’m listening to a lot of albums I used to love and reacquainting myself with how much I love them–the Cars, the Go-Go’s, Saturday Night Fever soundtrack, Aretha Franklin, Pat Benatar, the Pointer Sisters, Josie Cotton, Tina Turner, ’til Tuesday–the list goes on forever, really. I’ve saved tons of albums to my library, and have been having the best time listening to them and–as music always does–being swept back in time to when I used to listen to them originally; I guess revisiting my youth?

It’s also daunting to realize how old some of these records actually are; I mean, Fleetwood Mac’s Rumours is about forty-two years old now…which again adds to the horror of how old I am. AIEEEEE! But so many of them still hold up today, you know, and don’t sound dated at all, and I’m really enjoying rediscovering how great some of the records I owned in the past were and had just forgotten about. I mean, I’d absolutely forgotten how amazing the Cars were, or how terrific the Pointer Sisters’ Break Out album actually was–and still is.

So, today, I intend to write Chapter Eleven, map out some future chapters, and get some other things done before Game of Thrones tonight.

And then the entire week starts all over again, lather, rinse, repeat.

But I do have high hopes for getting things done today. Fingers crossed, Constant Reader, fingers crossed!

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