Love Without Words

Saturday, August 1, and coniglio! Coniglio!

Let’s see if that works; it did for Trixie Belden in The Mystery of the Emeralds.

It’s Saturday morning in the Lost Apartment. Sparky got me up before seven this morning–His Majesty was HUNGRY–and I decided to get up and feed him. Once I was out of the bed, I decided to get cleaned up and get going on my day. Yesterday sucked–I won’t go into the details, but suffice it to say the a/c in my car still isn’t working and I need to take it to another place first because some “body work” needs to be done, and it really doesn’t sound cheap–but I am shaking it off today. I’ve never had to spend much money on this car since buying it and it’s been about ten years. So, let it go, I can’t do anything about it until Monday, anyway, and why let that spoil my weekend when I have free time, I still feel good, and tomorrow we’re going to go see the new Spider-Man movie. So, lots to look forward to, and today I am going to try to get some stuff done around here. I need to order groceries for delivery (too hot to drive there and back), and I need to get the house back under control again. It’s not that bad, but the last couple of days I’ve let things slide a bit. I did read some of my book yesterday, and it’s really fantastic. We caught this week’s Sugar, and I think tonight we’ll dive into The Vampire Lestat.

I also have those Emily Wilson translations to dip into, as well. And a newsletter to get out, but them not going out consistently has been an issue from the first, and I do suspect the only person I am actually disappointing with any of this is me, you know? But they are fun to write, and while I do forget things I wanted to say in them from time to time, and I don’t proof them as thoroughly as I should before they go out, but I am also not going to get anxious or stressed about them. Paul is going to work with his trainer today and then is going to ride the bike at the gym, so I should have the entire afternoon to myself for downtime, reading and writing and more cleaning. Why is there always more cleaning to do? Heavy heaving sigh. I did decide to treat myself to a long birthday weekend this month, so I have my birthday and the Friday after to accept that I am officially elderly. It doesn’t bother me (much); it’s more shocking to me that I made it this far, with so much stacked against me. Making it to 65 as a gay man in this country was no small accomplishment, but honestly? Pure damn luck. I made it through the HIV pandemic without getting infected–miracle of miracles, especially when it seemed so damned unlikely any of us would make it through with anything other than PTSD and guilt. (The guilt has always been tough for me to deal with–why me? Why did so many wonderful and talented and brilliant people die? And yes, I’ve been thinking about this since the circus the other day with Dr. Fauci, whose true crime to conservatives is that he helped stop gay men from dying.)

Maybe I do see homophobia everywhere, but you know what? That’s what it almost always is–enough times that it’s not a surprise when that does turn out to be the case.

It also pleases me to no end to see Tom Holland and Zendaya starring in the two biggest movies of the summer. I’ve always liked her, and of course, his lip-sync to Rihanna made me a life long fan of our short king. He is also one of the rare examples of a child star who grew up into a successful and always working adult actor/star.

I was also amused to see the Department of Justice and that pig Jeannine Pirro had to drop charges against “reflecting pool vandals” when it turned out to be a result of shoddy installation on a (surprise!) a no-bid contract for one of the Harkonnens’ friends? Everything the Baron said about the reflecting pool was a lie (as everyone with a brain and one working eye could see), and his minions jumped in line–against all reason, against all sanity, and above all else, against the Constitution–to snap to his insane logic and mentality and excuses. His supporters should never be allowed in public again without being shamed for the bootlicking quislings they are. (I laugh every time they call him “Daddy”–showing they are all fucking betas and will roll over, ass end up in the air ready for his penetration) Karoline Leavitt and Jeannine Pirro will go on to jobs at Fox, next to Sophie “Maga Skipper” (Barbie would never) Cunningham.

And when this is finally all over? Watch the centrist Dems try to close the book and “move on.” We saw this after the Bush Crime Syndicate left office in 2009, and way back when the Republicans sold out southern Blacks for political power. (They haven’t changed from what they became under Grant.)

What this country has allowed itself to become makes me appreciate that I am old, and I do not ever wish I were younger. Ever. And I wouldn’t go back in time even if I could.

And on that note, I am going to get some more coffee and take my book over to my easy chair. Have a lovely Saturday, Constant Reader, and I’ll check in with you again tomorrow morning.

I’ve always loved stained glass. I played with it as a hobby in my twenties, but could never ever dream of doing something so artistic.

Bizarre

And here we are on another work-at-home Friday, and I am up early because I am heading to the car dealership on the West Bank, hopefully to get an oil change, tire rotation, and some freon added to the climate control so it will blow cold air again. I’ve never had any added since I bought the car, and it’s been nearly ten years since that day. Hard to believe so much time has passed, and I do not miss the monthly car payment in the fucking least, but here’s hoping this car will last me until I am in the ground because I never want to have to deal with buying a car again so long as I should live. Please God, make it so. But I do love my car, because it’s mine. No one else has owned it, and hopefully no one else ever will. (Barring a windfall, of course, but I will never buy a car on payments again, if I can help it.)

The plumber did come and installed a new sink for us, which is very cool. I wasn’t expecting a new sink! I had thought I wasn’t going to run errands last night, but a package was delivered for me and my copies of Emily Wilson’s translations of The Iliad and The Odyssey also came in and needed retrieving. I was anxious to get home, though, and see the new sink as well as wash what dishes remained. It really is sad that I got so excited over a new sink, isn’t it? My kitchen sink has been the bane of my existence since we moved into this apartment; no good water pressure which meant the sprayer didn’t work, and the faucet itself has been loose. I think it’s the same sink we had when we moved in here back in that summer of 2005? Anyway, it’s marvelous! The sprayer hose works! I did the dishes last night, and it was so much easier than it used to be…fingers crossed the car will be just as easily handled. I”m going to take my book with me to read so hopefully I won’t be on my phone the entire time, which is completely unnecessary and a habit I need to break. I don’t like this phone habit, and am really good about not being on my phone all night after work, or on the weekends. I do not need to be instantly available for anyone or anything.

I do feel a bit tired this morning, but that’s to be expected on a Friday anyway. We finished watching Ride or Die last night, and we loved it. The finale set up a second season perfectly, and I hope it does get renewed. I liked that, for once, the show focused on the friendship between the two women, which was loving and caring and supportive. The plot was fun, if it a little thin–but the action kept the story barreling along, and the chemistry between Hannah Waddingham and Octavia Spencer is off the charts. Highly recommend it! I think this weekend we are going to move on to The Vampire Lestat, and we have an episode of Sugar to catch up on, too. And we’ll probably watch The Devil Wears Prada 2.

So, they sent me home in an Uber so I wouldn’t have to wait there, which tells me it’s going to be a minute before the car is done and the a/c is going to cost me at least $199 (erased if I have the repair work done), so I know it will be that. much in the least. But yes, I am not gaslighting myself, either; getting into the Uber, the driver had the a/c on low and I was comfortable in the backseat, and I wasn’t when I drove over there. Here’s hoping for just freon and a new filter. Hopefully it won’t take most of the day; they are going to send me an Uber when the car is finished, and I have an errand to run on the way home…and I can get some things done this morning/early afternoon while I am waiting, including my day job responsibilities. I also feel pretty good this morning, too, if hungry. I was tired when I first got up, but I’m feeling a lot better now. I started reading The Last House on Needless Street (I was there for half an hour when they decided to treat me to a ride home) and I am loving it so far; it’s very dreamy (fever dream, but still a dream) and hypnotic, and it’s very plain from the opening sentence that the narrator will be unreliable. There’s a sense of We Have Always Lived in the Castle to it, and it’s making me think of small towns in the South (as so many things often do) and a novella I need to revisit and revise; the endless list of unfinished projects in my files is truly horrifying. After work today I am going to work on my book some and maybe some short stories, and an excellent project for me to do today is look at the submission calls I have on hand that I may have something for and decide what to work on alongside the book.

And on that note, methinks I shall head into the spice mines. Have a lovely Friday/August Eve, Constant Reader, and I will be back here tomorrow morning, bright and early.

My Sins Are My Savior

Sunday morning in the Lost Apartment and all is well thus far. I am having a very nice weekend, and I do hope you are having one as well, Constant Reader. I’m hoping for another good day today. I’m not sure what Paul’s plans are for the day, but mine will include finding something new to watch, since we finished Cross yesterday. I am tempted, of course, to start The Vampire Lestat but I’d rather wait to watch it until it’s all finished airing. (I’ve always been a bit of an Anne Rice fan-boy, and her connection to New Orleans was one of the things that originally made me think about living here, after reading The Witching Hour, which I should also revisit sometime.) I quite enjoyed Interview with the Vampire, and I might need to revisit those two seasons as well. I just saw yesterday there will be s fourth season, aptly titled The Queen of the Damned, so maybe the entire series will be filmed for television, which would be kind of cool; I did enjoy some of the later books, too. I also like this cast a lot. Anyway, how could I have forgotten Ride or Die? Clearly that would be the best option for our next watch. Octavia Butler and Hannah Wasddingham? Sign me the fuck up.There’s also another film streaming now that I want to see.

I had some groceries delivered, and made baked potatoes for dinner–so delicious with Kerrygold butter, cheddar cheese, fresh ground black pepper, and Maldon salt, with bacon bits and some chives. We’re both trying to eat not only healthier food but smaller portions as well to take off some weight. I bought a new pair of jeans at Costco on Friday (yes, that’s me, the gay fashion plate), and I’d like to get back down to two hundred pounds again, which I think is do-able. Paul worked out with his trainer and then went to the gym to ride the bike for a few hours. Sparky was cuddly and wanted my lap, and I really wanted to finish reading my book…so I put on the 2022 Alabama-LSU game on Youtube while I read and did some things. I finished the laundry and put away the dishes, ordered some groceries to be delivered, and had a very good day overall, despite the late start. When that game finished I put on 2019 LSU-Florida (which we were actually in the stadium for; it was one of my favorite games I’ve attended–the weather was perfect, the game was lit, and the crowd was on fire).

I actually came up with a working title for the new Scotty as well as the opening to the prologue, and the opening of Chapter One as well–and since I also have the disparate threads of plots decided upon, just not how to really tie them all together as of yet; I thought that was some excellent work on a day where I felt like I was being lazy, to be honest. I’ve been writing in my easy chair on the MacBook Air, and I’m getting more and more used to writing on it, so I have less excuses for not writing, which is a good thing.

I also wrote and sent out a new newsletter, which you can read by clicking here! This time out I talk about Lev AC Rosen’s Rough Pages, which I finished yesterday and absolutely loved. I think I am going to reread Larry Kramer’s Faggots next, along with getting back to my reread of The Ivy Tree and I think my next new read will be either Wanda Morris’ latest, or maybe something neither gay nor crime, but will pick out a few today to choose from; I do have so many marvelous books I have yet to read. I ordered copies of Emily Wilson’s translations of The Odyssey and The Iliad, and may get around to the Aeneid, too; it’s been a long ass time and my perspective has shiufted since then. There’s also Celebrity, which a friend reminded me of lately, and I had been thinking about writing about because one of the three main characters is a deeply closted gay man who is also a major movie star–and what I remember about how his sexuality was depicted is, well, pitiful. the life he was living wasn’t enviable, and was actually horrifically sad. I’d like to reread it, not only to reexamine Mack’s depiction but how the book was structured, which I have always felt was intricately built so would like to deconstruct it some.

We also watched Masters of the Universe last night. Nicholas Galitzine looks pretty (despite the lack of fur bikini) and Dolph Lundgren (whio played him in the last live action movie) had a cameo close to the beginning. Despite being visually beautiful and cinematic, as well as clever and funny at times, but the story’s not great; it’s a cartoon story that doesn’t really translate well into a live action big budget film. Masters of the Universe was always an infomercial for toys rather than an actual show, and not much creative thought went into it–He-Man? Skeletor? Evilynn? Sorceress? I remember the Saturday morning cartoon was popular while I worked at Toys R Us. I fucking hated working that aisle, and how stupid I thought the kids who were into it had to be to not recognize how basic and simple everything was. They need so little creativity for their entertainments? I saw the original film in the theater, with Dolph Lundgren and Frank Langella, with a very young Courtney Cox (fresh off that Bruce Springsteen video) and her love interest was the guy who’d played Charlie Brent on All My Children (with Lauren Holly as his love interest, no less–Pine Valley had some very good young talent pass through for teen drama storylines). The movie was fun, but Dolph’s cloak concealed his fur bikini too much for my taste. It was fun and silly and not anything I ever needed to watch again…and I feel the same way about this version. Just empty calories, but there’s nothing wrong with that either. There’s also a strong 1980 Flash Gordon aesthetic I appreciate to the movie–there was even a point where Paul started singing “FLASH! Ah ah, savior of the universe!” and I had been literally thinking the same thing.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Sunday, Constant Reader, and I will do the same here in New Orleans. See you tomorrow morning!

The ruins of Fort Livingston on Grand Terre Island; another evocative writing-prompt image!

Bring Your Love

Here we are on Wednesday morning with a tropical storm heading this way, and no one seems to know what kind of impact it will have on the city. I know we are in a heat advisory with “feels like” temperatures up to 1171 (!!!) at some point this afternoon. We’re definitely going to have some intense wind, some rain (potentially 2 to 4 inches) with the possibility of street flooding, but should be all over by tomorrow, I think. It changes almost hourly, which is part and parcel of living along the Gulf Coast. AH, well, I guess we’ll see how it goes. There’s also no need for me to check on work stuff; since the impact, if any, isn’t due until this afternoon there’s no chance the office is closing for the day; at best, we’ll go in for the morning and be sent home in the afternoon. I’d rather that not be the case; I’d rather have a normal day as my body is getting used to my regular routine again. I slept pretty well and actually feel pretty good this morning, which is also pretty cool. I was pretty tired when I got home last night–but I’ve also noticed the days at work go by a lot faster than they used to; I was doing some of my work yesterday afternoon only to be startled to look up and see that it was almost four! The car was also insanely hot inside when I got off work, which didn’t encourage me to stop on the way home to make groceries. (I did not do this errand, because the heat drained everything out of me, and I couldn’t face carrying in the groceries in the heat.)

I did work on an essay yesterday for the newsletter, but I want to edit it again before posting it. It’s an important subject, and I want to be certain that my argument is cohesive and logical, and that it doesn’t bounce around all over the place, as I tend to be with my writing of personal non-fiction. I’ve not sent out a newsletter in well over several weeks or so (not that anyone is pounding down my door, desperate to get the next one in their inbox), and I should send one out for the sake of consistency, at any rate. Heavy sigh.

Sigh. Maybe there’s another one in drafts I can complete easily and get sent out, and I can save the other for this weekend when I can work on it leisurely and not feel rushed. I’ll add that to today’s to-do list.

I’ve been actually enjoying all the on-line discourse on The Odyssey (while obviously avoiding anything right-wing oriented, because they’ll hate it without even seeing it), and as I said yesterday, I definitely am thinking about getting the Emily Wilson translations of the three epic poems that are Troy related; can it hurt to revisit them again as an adult? When I originally read them (and other Greek mythology) I didn’t know what rape was; I thought it meant abduction2they kidnapped the women. Later on, when I learned the true definition of rape, I realized just how rapey Greek myth was, and I didn’t want to revisit them , plus the conflict between the classical definition of hero versus the modern-day one (like the definition of romance in literature has also dramatically changed) was jarring. Now, at my advanced age, the rape stuff will still bug me, but I also understand what their mythology was really about much more so now than I did at that age.

Storm update: Bertha is now projected to pass to the south of New Orleans, but we’re going to get some rain this afternoon/early evening. Whew.

And on that relief note, I am going to head into the spice mines and head to work. Have a great day, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back on the morrow. Stay safe, and stay vigilant!

The Taleon Imperial Hotel, St. Petersburg, Russia
  1. I told Paul to work at home today, because there’s no need for him to go out into this heat we’re going to experience. ↩︎
  2. I think this came from seeing a painting called The Rape of the Sabine Women, depicting the Trojan exiles carrying off the women, in the copy of Virgil that I read. ↩︎