Tag: dentist

Dirty Laundry

Tuesday and soon enough I’ll be heading out to the dentist for my final fitting of the dentures–which means the next time I go, I will actually get them and be off this hateful soft food diet once and for all. I’ve kind of gotten used to it, though–but as much as I will miss the pint of ice cream, I can still have yogurt and the super-hot-and-spicy ramen on top of everything else. I think I am going to give myself to the end of the year–since I missed out on so much unhealthy food since the surgery–before I change my eating habits in order to be healthier going forward. The New Year will also be about six weeks after the surgery, so hopefully I’ll be in better condition by then to actually go ahead and change the way both Paul and I eat–Paul already eats much healthier than I do; so I just need to adjust mine a bit. But I can cut the ice cream out, as well as some of the snacking. Popcorn is really healthier, and it’s not hard to make, either. And I like it, just as I like pretzels, which are also healthier than chips (I think). At any rate, I need to spend some more time in the kitchen figuring out how to cook things I’ll like that are good for me.

And every once in a while, I can make Swedish meatballs or shrimp-n-grits as a treat…

Yes, because looking at food as a potential reward/treat is completely the healthy mindset I should have.

I’ve always had issues with my body and with food, for that matter; a lot of it stupid, a lot of it a product of my malfunctioning brain, and part of it from being, well, shamed for not being in the best physical condition possible. I don’t know when it all started, but I know when I was in high school–when I really started paying attention to male bodies–that I wasn’t built like other boys, and certainly not the ones all the girls were madly crushing on (for the record, I have never, nor will I ever, understand straight women’s taste in men), so I began thinking there must be something wrong with my body. I did eventually stop doing sports and so forth once I was in college, and that was also right around the time my metabolism slowed down from what it had been previously, so I gained weight–and I’ve never really been right in the head about my body and weight management ever since, I’m over sixty now, of course, and a lot of that body image stuff is in the past–but I do sometimes see pictures of myself and cringe at how big I look, which is patently absurd on its face and a mentality I need to get rid of once and for all. This soft food diet has helped me drop some extra weight–about ten pounds or so at this point–and I bet I lose even more after the surgery. Note to self: you need to buy a wagon to carry groceries in from the car, since you won’t have the use of both arms for a while.

It’s below sixty this morning and we’re having a middle of the week cold snap, even getting colder than fifty theoretically tonight. It’s also supposed to rain throughout the day. I am off to the dentist in a little while, so it’s one of those wretched days when I have to run all over town throughout the day, which is fine. I woke up this morning at five–and of course, Tug did his usual morning leap over Paul onto me and curled up on my pillow at around five-forty-five, waiting for the alarm so I would get up and feed him. He really is adorable, and loves to play like all kittens do; I need to buy him some toys, is what I need to do, and several laser lights because he got hold of the original one I bought and it’s disappeared, probably either under the couch or behind something. Maybe I should either swing by Petco or order something from their website to be delivered. I think he’d love one of those birds on a stick things; he was playing fetch with one of Scooter’s mice last night. But he’s adapted completely now to being our indoor cat, and he definitely feels like he is King of the Castle. He’s also curious about everything and still fearless, climbing under the couch or the dishwasher or wherever he can get–and he loves getting into the cabinets. He also broke my lunchbox yesterday; he knocked it off the counter after I packed it, and the clip for the shoulder strap broke. Sigh. I had to order another one.

I also got some book mail yesterday: Adam Cesare’s Clown in a Cornfield 2: Frendo Lives and Lisa Unger’s Christmas Presents. Lisa Unger is one of my favorite writers, but is one of those I always forget to mention when people ask me about favorite authors in interviews and things. I read some more short stories from Alfred Hitchcock Presents Stories That Scared Even Me, and they were okay; more morbid and weird than anything else, but interesting. One was “It” by Theodore Sturgeon, which was very peculiar and strange but was kind of fun to read (even though a dog dies terribly in it) and “Casablanca” by Thomas M. Disch, which was interesting; about an American couple visiting Morocco when a nuclear war breaks out between the Soviet Union and the United States, and how things change for them during that period, as they slowly lose their ugly American haughtiness and privilege. It was difficult to feel sorry for them because they were so awful and so used to their being American being a magic ticket that they become nasty and unpleasant as they begin to realize that being American means nothing anymore. It was kind of haunting to remember that paranoia we were so used to living with when I was a child; that fear that at any moment bombs would be incoming that would change the world forever; the American cultural obsession with nuclear doomsday when I was growing up was really something and popped up in movies and books and stories all the time. The one I remember the most (literature wise) is Alas Babylon, and the movies–Testament and The Day After. When I was in high school PBS ran a documentary about the possibility of nuclear war and what it would like; which was when I learned nuclear missile bases dotted the Midwest and particularly Kansas–the abandoned missile base just outside of Bushong in north Lyon County was actually mentioned in the show as a target despite being abandoned in the early 1970’s (that missile base shows up in my story “This Thing of Darkness,” and sometimes I think it might be fun to set an entire book there–high school kids exploring an abandoned missile base only to find something horrible and deadly there), which was all we could talk about at school that week–the morbid fascination that out there in the middle of nowhere Kansas we were still Soviet targets.

Ah growing up in the second half of the twentieth century was such a joy.

And on that note, I am going to get showered and cleaned up and head for the dentist’s office. Have a lovely Tuesday, Constant Reader, and I’ll check in with you again later.

One More Time

I”m up earlier than usual on a Friday because I have to go to the dentist’s office this morning to get fitted for my new dentures. I don’t know when they’re going to be ready, and I know it’s too much to hope for that I would get temporary ones today so I can start eating normally again, but an old gay man can dream, can’t he? I left work yesterday to go meet with the cardiologist, to be cleared for my surgery as well as to check and see if i also have the same congenital heart issue that eventually killed Mom (her father died in his sleep in his forties; there’s a concern that it’s not only congenital but genetic); good news is my heart is strong and functioning completely the way it’s supposed to; no concerns there, with a sonogram scheduled to see if my arteries are normal or I have the same issue Mom had. He also changed my cholesterol medicine (giving me something stronger), and i need to have another blood draw done. Yay? My schedule between now and the surgery looks to be filled with appointments for tests and things. Heavy heaving sigh.

I slept really well last night. Paul was late getting home–we watched Only Murders in the Building–and I did some chores. I took the evening off from writing and tried to do chores mostly. I watched a documentary on Youtube about Charles VI of France–aka Charles the Mad, the king who lost France to Henry V of England–and the “glass delusion,” which the King suffered from as did many others during the time period; the belief that he was made of glass and would shatter. I had wanted at one point to write a story about the glass delusion (because it absolutely fascinates me), but am not sure how to do it or whether Iwant to write about the king himself or come up with someone new to have the delusion. He was an interesting person, had an interesting and tumultuous reign–whichof course indirectly led to the rise of Joan of Arc, which really is fascinating. St. Joan and her voices have always struck my curiosity–more on that at another time, anyway. So, yes, I went down a wormhole on Youtube on the Hundred Years’ War, the madness of King Charles, and the fifteenth century. The fifteenth was also a calamitous century, to use the language Barbara Tuchman used to describe the fourteenth in her book A Distant Mirror (which may be my favorite history book of all time). I don’t want to write about the fifteenth the same way I want to write about the sixteenth, because it would have to cover the Hundred Years’ War but also the Wars of the Roses, and those have been written about already endlessly so I have no desire to write about either of them.

But my sixteenth century and women ruling Europe book is something I would still like to do.

Okay, so now I am home again and irritated. I stopped to make a few groceries on the way home from the dentist, and apparently left one of my bags in the shopping cart, which is super annoying–especially since that was the bag that had the stuff I specifically stopped for; all the rest was just lagniappe I picked up because I was there already. Heavy sigh. Ah well, I can go back later on–probably will, because I do need those things–but still irritating to just throw money away like that. Ah, well. I’ll be getting my new temporaries in about a week or so; which is the best news, really, and I also have to get my checkbook register caught up and all my new follow-up appointments put onto my calendar.

And of course, this afternoon we’re going to the SPCA on the west bank to get a cat. YAY! (Maybe I can pick up the stuff I need on the West Bank before we go look at the kitties.) I am not going to stress about it, nor am I going to get anxious about it, either.

So I have some work-at-home duties to take care of this morning before we head across the river to adopt a cat (I’m a little excited but trying really hard to contain myself). I also have laundry and dishes and other tedious chores around here to get done over the weekend. Tomorrow I’m going to take the books to the library sale and see if I can get my vaccinations that I need at CVS; worst case scenario I can’t get it there and will have to wait some more. I’d like to have it before I see my elderly relative next weekend in Panama City Beach, for obvious reasons; I’d feel terrible if I gave any of them COVID at their ages. (Dad is the youngest at nearly eighty-two.) It’s just a quick trip, over on Saturday and back on Sunday, but since I won’t be able to head up north for the holidays I don’t want to miss a chance of seeing Dad when he’s that close, and I can finish Carol Goodman’s marvelous The Drowning Tree in the car.

And on that note, I should probably head into the spice mines and take care of my work-at-home duties before Paul gets up. Have a lovely Friday, Constant Reader, and I am sure there will be a picture of my new kitty to post later on.

Pledging My Love

Well, that was unpleasant.

Not entirely true. My dentist is very good at what he does and I neither felt or heard anything other than some pressure. Some teeth had to be wiggled out, which was weird as I felt nothing but could tell it was being wiggled. But they are out, I have some pain meds, and in three weeks I will go get fitted for my new upper denture and the new, never had before lower. So, those of you at Bouchercon? You saw me looking like a toothless hillbilly from the holler for the last time. It also wound up being a lot cheaper than I was originally quoted; I was told a ballpark figure of $3000 for everything and it was less than two thousand. I was also originally told my hearing aids would be about that same amount, but thanks to Costco I only paid half. So I went from thinking this would all cost me about six grand in total, but I got everything for slightly more than half of that total, which is amazing. Nothing is ever cheaper than you are quoted, right? I am supposed to take it easy the rest of the day, just relax and lay down and keep my head elevated. I can’t have anything other than soft food for the next three days, and even after that I need to stay away from heavily spiced and/or anything super crunchy. That’s not terrible. I can make meatballs on Sunday in the slow cooker for lunches next week, and depending on how I feel when Monday rolls around–I may just go ahead and go into the office and not use any sick time. Thank you, COVID surge; no one will think anything of my being masked the entire time until I get my replacement teeth.

So…now I am officially old, bald, out of shape and toothless. This would have been my worst nightmare when I was in my thirties and early forties; I am so glad I aged out of the pointless vanity–which, let’s be honest, stemmed absolutely from insecurity. When I look back at those pictures of me now, I just shake my head. You really thought you needed to lose more weight and tighten up your body back then, I remember ruefully, while surveying the wreckage of my currently aged and debilitated body. Had someone told me back then that by the time I’d be sixty two I’d no longer be able to wear 29-30 waist jeans, hadn’t set foot in the gym in over a year, and even worse wouldn’t care, I would still be laughing.

While I was waiting (I was early; some parts of the anxiety I will never master or control) I started reading S. A. (Shawn) Cosby’s new All The Sinners Bleed and I can already tell it’s going to be his best so far, which is really saying something. It’s immersive and the language is so smart and strong, and his gift for character is apparent from the very first page. It’s amazing that Shawn keeps getting better with every book, which is every writer’s goal–to have your best work ahead of you. This is why I never understand why some writers get jealous of other writer’s careers; success is always a crapshoot in this business. Great writers who deserve huge audiences, sales, and acclaim too often fly under the radar (Vicky Hendricks is an excellent example of this), and no one ever knows whose career is going to take off and whose is not; we cannot control any of that, so you have to write the best book you can and market and promote the best you can and hope for the best. Being jealous of someone else’s success is a fool’s game destined to leave you broken, bitter, and not much fun to be around. The only envy I have for other writers is for their talent, and even then it’s more of a call for me to push myself harder and farther and take bigger risks.

It’s always lovely when kind and generous and talented people like Shawn break out, and I always celebrate the success of others.

I can feel the novocaine beginning to fade, so I am going to take a pain killer and go over to my chair with Shawn’s bed. Enjoy your Friday, everyone.

Shallow Then Halo

Monday morning and heading into the office to start the work week. I have tomorrow off, as I have a dentist’s appointment, and with no idea how long that would take or what they might be doing to me while I am there, I just figured it was easier, much easier, to simply take the day off so as not to worry about coverage and when I can get to the office and so forth. I am very sick of my mouth and very sick of dealing with my teeth; I am very tired of looking like someone from the holler and I’d like to get it all taken care of once and for all. I will spare you my rant about dentists and my teeth, but make no promises for how I may be after the appointment.

Probably safer to take the day off.

I slept well again last night and feel very rested this morning, which is a lovely way to start the week but I am not fully awake yet, I don’t think. Come on, coffee, work your magic. I did get progress made on the revision this weekend, which has me actually back on schedule, which, of course, is absolutely lovely. I shall just keep plugging away at this every day until it’s finished, which will be this week and then I have to do revisions on another book and when that’s finished, I can breathe again. Both of these should have been finished long ago, but then again here we are, you know? I didn’t expect everything to go off the rails the way it did after Thanksgiving (although things were already off the rails and had been for quite some time, frankly, I just refused to accept or admit it), but that also just goes to show you need to be careful when setting incredibly tight deadlines–you can never completely and fully prepare for everything life is going to throw at you, but it definitely appears as though scheduling tight deadlines is kind of asking for it, in a way. You’d think I’d eventually learn, but then again–I am a stubborn-ass kind of fool who never learns when it comes to deadlines.

It was a nice weekend, really. I couldn’t focus on reading non-fiction, so spent some more time with nonfiction, which is nice. I really should make the time to read for an hour every day. I think it would help stimulate my creativity, and reading is always a learning experience for me. I try to shut off the editorial brain when I am reading something for pleasure, but it’s not always easy–nor is the oh, that was a clever way to do that or I wish I had thought of that or what a lovely piece of writing that paragraph was! Nope, that’s just as hard to turn off as the editorial brain. I’ve also been editing a manuscript, and that also has something to do with the editorial brain; I am already in that mode and I was also revising one of my own; not really surprising that I’m not able to consume and enjoy fiction whilst in the middle of doing that. I did get some chores done and I did get some revising done and I also got some rest, which is always important. We finished watching Now and Then on Apple, which was full of surprises, and then moved on to season two of The Lake, a cute little half-hour comedy on Amazon Prime. The stars are Julia Stiles (who plays the uptight bitch stepsister to perfection) and the guy who played Felix on Orphan Black, whose name I can’t think of at the moment…JORDAN GAVARIS. I think he’s an out gay actor (or he’s an actor who primarily plays gay men) who was simply brilliant in Orphan Black (the entire cast was terrific, but it was hard to notice given Tatiana Maslany’s tour-de-force as all the clones), and he is fantastic as a self-absorbed drama queen on this show, which is clever and original and funny. I recommend the show; it’s witty and funny and pretty original–and no one is talking about it, which is a shame.

Of course I am going to spend a week with my dad later this month and hopefully, I won’t have to worry about having anything due or checking emails that week, so I should be able to get a lot of reading done while I am up there. I’ll probably listen to another Carol Goodman on the way up there, but I am also starting to run out of Carol Goodmans (write more, Carol!) but I also suppose I could find another author who’d be fun to listen to in the car. (Another author I was listening to on long drives really pissed me off with her last one I listened to, so won’t be going back to her for a while.) Oooh, Lisa Lutz! Lisa Unger! Jennifer McMahon! There are so many good writers and I have soooo much reading to catch up on, too…

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Monday, Constant Reader, and I will check in with you again later.

Got to Get You Into My Life

Wednesday, and my mind is all over the map this week. I kept thinking yesterday was Monday and had to keep reminding myself that it wasn’t, that it was actually Tuesday, and the rest of my week is going to be relatively light, in terms of time spent in the actual office. I do have to drive out to Metairie after work on Thursday for my eye exam (new glasses! hurray!) which means driving back into the city during the worst of rush hour traffic (hurray!) but….I only have to work half-a-day on Friday, so there’s the trade off. And then it’s the weekend, again…

I am literally wishing my life away, aren’t I?

I managed another chapter and three thousand words, give or take, yesterday, and it felt good to be back on that horse. Note that I am not saying the chapter/3000 words are good, mind you–but I did get them done, and I am really pleased with myself, he typed smugly. I may not get this finished by the end of the month as I originally intended, but I will get it done sooner than I was estimating. I was actually worried I might have to put it to the side and get back to work on something else because I failed so miserably at getting it done in May, but if I keep up the pace I should be able to get this draft finished and still have time to get back to work on the other manuscript before I have to work on a different project entirely.

It never ends, really.

So here it is Wednesday, and I am still a little off. The shorter weeks, despite my love of them, are a bit disruptive to someone who enjoys routine, finding peace (in a recognizably and understandably bizarre way) in repetition and the sameness of following the same routine. It’s sort of like cleaning; I enjoy the mindlessness of cleaning and the feeling of satisfaction once it’s finished and everything is completely in order. Today is also payday, which means it’s time to start paying the end of the month/start of the month bills, which is always a completely odious chore. Ugh, how I hate paying the bills.

But it must be done, sadly, and the brief moment of satisfaction derived from seeing a momentarily swollen bank account will be fleeting, as always; fleeting and over and done with in a matter of moments. I try to derive satisfaction from paying the bills; getting a sense of completion from accomplishing a task, no matter how much I loathe said task, of course.

Tomorrow after work I have to head out to Metairie for an eye appointment; I am looking forward to getting new glasses and a new prescription for contact lenses, which I am determined to actually try again this year. My eyesight has gotten so bad that contact lenses aren’t necessarily the best option for me (I either need the progressive ones, which I don’t like that much, or to get regular ones and use reading glasses. The problem is I am so blind I’d have to wear the reading glasses all the time, which kind of negates the entire purpose of contact lenses), but I am going to give it the old college try once again. I am actually kind of excited, weirdly enough, about heading out there tomorrow; I generally detest going to Metairie, particularly if Veterans Boulevard is involved (which it will be, alas), and I’ll have to drive back into the city during the worst of the traffic–which I absolutely love the idea of, he typed sarcastically. But part of my goals for this year is to get everything taken care of that I should get taken care of, and take advantage of the various insurance plans to which I have access. After the eyes are taken care of, it’s the dentist…which is a terrifying thought.

I really hate the dentist.

But I feel rested and recharged this morning for the bill paying that must be done and the errands that must be run before work, which is a good thing and not how I usually feel on Wednesdays, so this is a lovely change.

And on that note, tis back to the spice mines.

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