Tag: blog

I’m No Stranger to the Rain

Well, it’s Tuesday morning, so we clearly survived Monday, did we not? It was bitterly cold yesterday morning; I wore a sweater, a jacket, my hoodie under the jacket, and tights under my pants so it wasn’t terrible when I left the house in the morning, either. It’s cold again this morning, and will remain so for the morning; the afternoon won’t be too terrible. I didn’t mind the cold terribly yesterday, because I dressed for it for once rather than not doing so and whining all day about being cold. I hadn’t intended to dress for it again this morning, but looks like I will not have a choice. It’s chilly here inside the windows, but I slept well and feel pretty good this morning. I didn’t do much last night once I got home from work. I did make groceries on my way home, but once I was home and snug and comfy in my easy chair with a purring kitty and my blanket, I didn’t really want to get up and do much of anything, other than catch up on the news and do some more Youtube research. The news was its usual shit-show, the way it has been for at least ten or so years, if not this entire century. Whatever we thought the twenty-first century was going to be like in 1999 is not what we wound up with. Did anyone see this coming other than the Heritage Foundation, Faux News, and the Republican Party1?

I generally don’t comment on celebrity deaths; I don’t know the deceased, after all, and who cares what I think? I was a fan of Reiner and his work–The Princess Bride remains one of my all-time favorite movies, and so eminently quotable, too–and he made a lot of great films I enjoyed. He and his wife Michelle, as you know, were murdered on Sunday, allegedly by their son who has issues, which would have been bad enough but then, of course, sewage is always going to sewage. Even the dolts who are still hanging onto their belief in their tin-pot dictator wannabe, for the most part, were horrified by him this time; why was this time so different than every other time he’s been an insensitive spoiled brat? That’s what I truly find interesting about this latest idiocy. What was it about the Reiner tragedy that triggered such a response from his followers? I mean, it can’t have been empathy, right? So why this time? I can’t quite wrap my mind around this sea change for MAGAts, and I’ll probably wonder about it for a while. But the murders were a tragedy, but both Reiners left a distinguished legacy of work behind them–and Reiner’s films will continue to bring joy to viewers as long as streaming services carry them.

And I really need to do my essay on The Princess Bride, inspired by a conversation on Twitter where I wrote a lengthy tweet-string explaining why I find the movie so magical.

And while we’re commenting on celebrity death, Anthony Geary, long-time portrayer of the anti-hero Luke Spencer on General Hospital, also died recently. I watched the show in the 1970s and 1980s fervently, and Geary was no small part of that; and Luke-and-Laura were legendary in the world of soaps. Genie Francis still plays Laura on the show. The highest rated episode of any daytime soap was the wedding of Luke and Laura back in 1980 or 1981. Geary was gay; I don’t know that he ever publicly came out, but I read it in an article about him shortly after he retired from acting, I think. I guess that’s why I was always a fan. I never got a gay vibe from him, the way I have with other actors, either. So much for my Gaydar, although it’s easy to say it was a subconscious recognition.

I really need to write my General Hospital essay, too.

My God, I am so behind on literally everything. The good news is these are all just personal deadlines, so they are anxiety-inducing (not that I have anxiety anymore–at least certainly not to the life-controlling-and-strangling way I used to). Paul is doing an excellent job of clearing out the bedroom; and I should definitely take some time and do some pruning down of all my shit–including the books–and most especially my paper files. I don’t really feel like those need to be kept anymore, and it’s all just kind of hoarding of a different sort, isn’t it? I also need to clean out the kitchen cupboards, too, and the floors are just a given. Sigh.

We’re also supposed to have rain through the weekend beginning tomorrow, which is marvelous. Cold, gray and rainy makes for a snug weekend at home with Sparky, Paul and blankets. I am definitely going to do some reading this weekend, too.

I am also getting all of my Chlorine notes organized, so I can get into the feel of the book. As I said the other day (yesterday) I think I have finally landed on the character’s voice, and have decided that, despite it being technically a historical (it is set seventy years ago) I think I am going to write it in present tense. Maybe that’s a mistake, but switching from present to past would be time consuming but not terribly difficult to do. I may even try to write the first chapter this weekend, too, and see how it goes.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a toasty terrific Tuesday, and I’ll be back in the morning.

  1. Christ, I am neither an analyst nor a political reporter, but I predicted this outcome back during the Clinton Administration. How did I see it but none of the people paid to be political experts did? ↩︎

You’ve Never Been This Far

Work at home Friday! I have to go to Quest this morning to get some bloodwork done (the joys of being an old gay in his sixties never stop, believe you me), but this is the last test for something new for awhile, and will determine whether I need additional treatment for something else… I don’t know, though. I feel pretty good and have energy and there’s not even a hint of brain fog anymore, which is kind of like having enough oxygen after breathing in smoke for years. I know that might sound extreme, but that’s how I look at it because that’s how it feels. I still have short term memory issues (i,e, going into the kitchen and forgetting why I went in there to begin with), but those are bearable and so much better than every other symptom of this nonsense I’ve been dealing with this decade. But, as I have said and will continue to say and believe, it’s so nice to know there was a medical issue to blame these past five-going-on-six years rather than it be from getting older and more frail and feeble. And, even with those issues, I managed to get things done anyway.

That’s something, isn’t it?

I did stop on the way home last night to make groceries, but forgot a few things (of course) so am going to have to go out this weekend to get those, or perhaps simply have them delivered. After I got home and Sparky commanded my attention while watching the news, I did get some laundry started, but that was about it. I went down some Youtube wormholes for research–I am writing an essay about US History, wrapped around the PBS series The American Revolution, with a shout out to Hamilton–which was a lot of fun. I do love me some history. I also am going to start writing my essays about powerful women of the sixteenth century, under the Monstrous Regiment of Women umbrella. I also scanned some notes from my journal for Chlorine, and I hope to get that finished today. There’s no college football this weekend, so Saturday yawns wide open and free.

I’ve already been to Quest to get the lab work done and have come home to finish this and do my work-at-home duties along with my other chores. I wasn’t gone more than thirty minutes, including driving and parking, which really isn’t bad. Of course, before the anxiety medicine I would have been sitting in the lobby, scrolling through my phone or reading my book or some combination of the two, while fidgeting the entire time. I left here just after eight and was back by eight forty, which isn’t terrible. Feeling good and better rested and losing the brain fog has made me really appreciate the anti-anxiety medication all the more, because there’s not that tension building inside all the time anymore, which is also very relaxing; not being tightly wound is quite marvelous, and I don’t know how I managed sixty years plus without said medication. Better late than never.

I saw yesterday that Liam Neeson did the narration for an antivax documentary singing the praises of RFK Jr, and the dangers of vaccines and the COVID hoax and so forth; welp, Mr. Neeson will never be watched in anything ever again in this household. It speaks a lot to who he is, doesn’t it? Either he’s a medical conspiracy moron, or he’s a whore who’ll take a paycheck no matter what he has to do for it. In either case, not someone whose career I have any interest in continuing to support any longer. (I also noted that Sydney Sweeney has also decided to distance herself from MAGA and her white supremacy antics–now that her career is taking and her films are bombing. Never forget that smug smirk on her face when she declined to comment on the controversy. She’s fucking trash. MAGA men just like your tits, bitch, they aren’t going to see your movies.) I also refuse to support any garbage actors who are getting Harry Potter paychecks in the future. You know who and what the Chatelaine of Castle TERF is; don’t plead fucking ignorance. You like blood money. Nice to know who’d be filming with Leni Reifenstahl in the 1930s.

I also saw the Supergirl trailer yesterday and really liked it. I’m sure the comic book incels will hate it, as they hate all women super-heroes. Seriously, little boys–why do powerful women trigger you so much?

Sigh.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a marvelous Friday, Constant Reader, and I’ll see you again tomorrow morning.

Travelin’ Soldier

Today’s title is one of my all-time favorite songs, by the Chicks (remember them? Pre-MAGA canceled them for opposing the Iraq War–and shock! It turned out the Chicks were right all along). It was also the song that gave me the idea for my short story “Unsent,” which is one of my personal favorites of my own stories.

Two days past eighteen, he was waiting for the bus in his army greens…

It always makes me choke up a bit, and their harmonies are just angelic on this song. Natalie Maines is one of the best singers of my lifetime, bar none.

Well, yesterday was a nice day. The chili I made on Sunday (and I thought was kind of bland) actually turned out to be much better on the second day, who knew? That was a pleasant surprise for me yesterday, which was a very good day overall. I got a lot done at the office, am caught up on almost everything, and came home. I unloaded the dishwasher and folded the clothes, and straightened up the kitchen. I also did some filing, which was cool. I am wide awake this morning, too, having only hit snooze once. Unusual, and Sparky was thrilled that he didn’t have to wait the usual cycle of snooze before I got up. I’ve been feeling better every day, which is awesome. I’m going to have lab work done on Friday morning this week, too, and I need to get my Christmas cards done at some point (if I am actually going to shock everyone by sending cards this year). I did start marking things off on my to-do list, too, which was pretty awesome, frankly. Yay, me!

We are still getting warm weather this week, but it’s been moved to the weekend; Friday and Saturday it will be in the 70s, which will be a very good time for me to start taking walks again. I am serious about getting back into better physical condition (now that everything else seems to be finally clearing up), and as I mentioned before, I am thinking about starting back up at the gym again after Carnival. I don’t care about losing weight or building muscle or anything aesthetic-related; I am more concerned about building up my strength and stamina again. It’s so nice to feel good and not tired anymore, you know?

Or maybe I’m finally becoming a morning person? Perish the thought! But, it’s not a bad thing. It is very rare when I sleep in past eight here–gone are the days of sleeping till noon–but the rest I am getting now is much better than the last fourteen years or so. I also spent some time last night thinking about my new book project and am rather excited about it, to be perfectly honest. It’s been a hot minute since I started a new book project and wasn’t exhausted, sick, or recovering from something–I think the last one was Royal Street Reveillon, honestly–and so am kind of excited to see how this one goes, you know? There’s also an anthology I’d like to submit to, and the deadline is December 31st. It’s nice to feel excited about writing again, you know? (I’m also conveniently forgetting how hard writing actually is…) I also have some newsletters to finish, which should be fun, too. I have another couple of series of essays I want to do (along with the ones talking about masculinity and religion); Egypt and history and of course, juvenile series. This having a newsletter is a lot more fun than I ever thought it would be, you know?

Tonight after work I’ll head uptown to get the mail, and when I get home I need to do the dishes and reload the dishwasher. I may even vacuum tonight (madness) so this weekend won’t be so bad about keeping up with chores and cleaning. I’ll probably do some reading as well as my new project continues percolating in my head. I also need to answer some emails and need to get started on an editing project.

And on that cheery note, I am heading into the spice mines for now. Have a great Tuesday, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back tomorrow morning, I promise.

Such pretty eyes!

Polk Salad Annie

That may be the name of the song, but I always thought it was “poke salad,” because you used pokeweed to make it. But I’ve also always had hearing issues, and have misheard (and mis-said) things almost my entire life before learning how wrong they were! The funny thing is, before the hearing aids, I was kind of ashamed of being unable to hear so I would never ask someone to repeat themselves; now that I have them, I have no problem with that? Strange, isn’t it?

I have to pack tonight when I get home because I want to get an early start tomorrow morning. I don’t like driving after dark, and with the time change it’ll start getting dark between four and five, and I lose a time zone hour once I cross the Georgia state line for a brief moment before catching I-75 in Chattanooga. I hope to sleep well again tonight, since the drive will most likely be exhausting. This is my first lengthy drive since being sick, and so I guess it will be indicative of how my recovery is going, won’t it? Plus, leaving early might help with traffic along the way. I can even load the car for the most part this evening as well, which is cool. I don’t know how much I will be here while I am up north this week, so bear with me; you may not see me again until this coming Sunday morning. I will miss the games on Sunday, but I can always check scores on my phone and I may get home in time to catch the tail end of Auburn-Alabama. LSU is at Oklahoma, so who knows how that will go and which team will show up in Norman. I don’t have a lot of confidence or hope in a team that just beat Western Kentucky by only three points at HOME. (It was actually kind of sad, especially for Senior Night. What a disaster this season turned out to be for my Tigers. Sigh. But I said they were overrated at the beginning of the season and guess what? I was right.)

I spent some time yesterday going through my journals to mark pages with Chlorine notes, and there were a lot. I only got through about five of them, but there was a lot of interesting notes and information and ideas for the story, and for the main character’s back story. I know, I know, I’ve been threatening to write this book for almost a decade, but one of the things I came to realize yesterday looking at the journals is how erratic my creative mind is and how all-over-the-map it can be. My journals serve many purposes; I like to write long-handed, for one thing, and somehow the mind-hand connection frees my mind to wander and create free-style, and it always works. It’s also kind of interesting to see how past novels and stories have developed. Sometimes I’ll write a story or a chapter fragment in long hand; the long hand freestyle thing has always worked for whenever I am stuck on something. I also learned a lot going through the journals looking for Chlorine notes; both story and character and situations. I also realized yesterday that the reason I’ve never really worked on it seriously was because I was very tied to that opening scene, and the original story I developed; but now I have realized that there was an enormous hole in the plot that cannot really be fixed without revising and rewriting the entire first three chapters, which I’ve been trying to fix and polish for years when it couldn’t be fixed; spending some time immersing myself in the book, by writing in my journal, has opened the entire thing up for me and I think I should be more than ready to get a first draft done by the end of the year. I’m actually excited, rather than intimidated, about writing it! I think feeling better physically, emotionally, and mentally has helped a lot, too. I spent a lot of time these past few years thinking that I might retire from writing…nah, I just wasn’t 100%!

I am also very excited to start listening to Laurie R. King’s O Jerusalem tomorrow in the car! It’s longer than the drive, so I am going to take the book with me to finish reading, along with my Donna Andrews novel to read while I am up there so I can listen to either her Christmas audiobook from last year, or A Letter of Mary by Laurie on the way home on Saturday. I am hoping to rest and relax and read and spend some nice time with Dad and my sister. It’ll be cold, of course, but I am not dreading it the way I usually do. I think I’ve finally made peace with colder weather? I blame this past January’s blizzard, really. It reminded me how nice it is to be safe and warm inside while the snow is coming down outside. Very, very cozy, and maybe the weather is kind of worth it for that kind of comfort? The older I get, the more I appreciate comfort. (Note to self: get new sheets.)

We watched some more of the final season of Solar Opposites, which I’m not enjoying as much as I did the earlier seasons…but I also watched them all in a binge, so was a lot more vested and it’s hard to get back into it after so long. It’s still insanely clever, though. We also watched Family Plan 2 so you don’t have to (the first one was cute and clever; the second went back to the well and it doesn’t play as well the second time around) and I have to ask again, how is Marky Mark a movie star? (I prefer to use his name from when he was a trouser-dropping “recording artist.”) He has no range at all, and all the promise he showed as a young actor in movies like Boogie Nights has been lost into a charmless “character” he plays over and over and over again, in action flick after action flick. Basically, he just shows up and cashes the paycheck. I do like Michelle Monaghan, though. It played while I was going through my journals; Paul kept falling asleep. Then we watched Devil in Disguise, and seriously? This is how serial killer mini-series or limited series or whatever they fuck they call them now should be done. Not glamorous, not visually beautiful, and the sexiness of the cast isn’t highlighted, but rather buried under period hair and clothing. The really get that 1970s accurately; it was almost triggering. I also liked that they aren’t glamourizing Gacy and are focusing, not just on him, but on selected victims and telling their stories along with his. (We had to stop watching the latest Ryan Murphy Monster season.)

I feel good this morning. I didn’t want to get up, but that wasn’t from wanting to sleep more, it was the warm comfort of the bed I didn’t want to leave. I am not tired or sore, and my hip joints feel pretty good, too. I am not in the clinic today, but I have an awful lot of things to get caught up on before I head home this afternoon, and a lot to do when I do get there, too. I’ll just have to avoid Sparky’s wiles and the lure of the easy chair–or remind myself to get up after resting and get it all done so I can leave tomorrow morning and not be concerned about coming home to a disaster area Saturday.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Monday, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back before I leave tomorrow morning.

18 Wheels and a Dozen Roses

Monday morning and back to the office with me today. I slept well last night and feel alive and awake this morning, so huzzah for that at any rate. I don’t know how busy we are today in the clinic, but it’s just me for now and going forward for I don’t know how long and so I don’t know how tired I will be getting this week at work, either. Meh, we’ll see how it all goes, won’t we? It was a nice weekend of not getting a lot done, which is okay. I felt drained yesterday, and very low energy, so mostly spent the day in my chair with Sparky watching research videos1; I also made a lot of notes in my journal, which is always a good thing. I wasn’t particularly motivated, either. I also read for a while into my Donna Andrews book, but wasn’t really able to focus a lot and thus didn’t read much, but it was a nice start. Maybe this week and this weekend I can get the book finished; I can also take it with me on the trip to finish, if need be. It’s hard to believe that next week is actually Thanksgiving already, and time for my lengthy drive up north. Heavy sigh. But it’ll be very nice to be up there, methinks, and despite the inevitable exhaustion and fatigue that will come from said drive, I’ll enjoy spending time with Dad.

And I am not going to worry about writing or doing anything while I am up there, other than reading and resting and relaxing….since that is all that ever happens when I am up there. Which is not a bad thing, I am learning that taking down time to recalibrate and rest and recharge my batteries WITHOUT GUILT is actually necessary, and I am tired of beating myself up all the time because I am not more driven than I already am, you know? One of my goals for this year was to be kinder to myself, and that’s kind of going fairly well. I still slip back into the old, self-defeating mentality every once in a while, though, but it’s not a daily thing and not being anxious all the time is also kind of nice.

I’ve also been paging through The Late Great Planet Earth by Hal Lindsey, and remembering now how stupid the whole thing was when I first read the book when I was in my teens and soaking up conspiracy theories and strange history2; for Lindsey’s writings and interpretations to be correct, they are predicated on two things: one, you have to believe the Bible is literal truth, and that not a single word in it was ever changed over millennia. Considering the original Christian schism (Rome v. Constantinople) was about the West adding words to the Bible…(the filioque controversy) so yeah, that shows Lindsey’s theories, conclusions, interpretations and writings begin with a logical fallacy, and thus, can they really be believed at this point? Please remember that some of his writings in the 1960s have since, all claims to the contrary, been proven false. There’s going to be an absolutely marvelous essay coming out of this revisiting, as part of my essay series on religion.

We also watched more episodes of Lazarus last night, leaving the finale for tonight. I am really enjoying the show, and it is all making so much more sense to me than it was initially; I don’t know how the supernatural aspects of the story are going to be explained, but it’s a fun show to watch, with plenty of marvelous twists and surprises. Not sure what is up for our next binge, but I want to watch Frankenstein before leaving for my trip. LSU plays Western Kentucky this weekend, which may not even be televised, and I am not really sure about other big games coming on this weekend. I am still kind of in shock that Alabama lost to Oklahoma again for the second year in a row, and if they don’t make the playoffs again, their coach is going to be in a very warm chair. There’s a lot of talk swirling about Lane Kiffen leaving Mississippi for either LSU or Florida, but I don’t see it, honestly. Both states have shitty governors and legislators who have no problem with sticking their fingers into the flagship university’s affairs, and he pretty much has free rein up in Oxford. (I stand corrected; LSU is playing Saturday night at the same time as Florida-Tennessee.) It’ll be interesting, I guess.

We also watched the ice dance and women’s finals for Skate America yesterday, which was pretty cool. I think we’re going to field a pretty good Olympic team in figure skating this cycle.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Monday, Constant Reader, and I’ll check in with you again tomorrow morning,.

  1. Saw a really excellent one about the 1054 Christian schism, when Roman Catholicism divorced Eastern Orthodoxy. I also saw some interesting videos about the birth of Zionism and how the current Middle Eastern problems initially developed, and it always goes back to Rome, doesn’t it? ↩︎
  2. This isn’t the only “conspiracy theory” style book I read and saw the flaws in said theory immediately; I also thought Erich von Daniken’s work and Holy Grail Holy Blood (the basis for The Da Vinci Code, for the record) were full of holes, as were Graham Hancock’s….and I was just a teenager. ↩︎

The Bird Hunters

Wednesday!

It was cold here yesterday, but we didn’t get any snow, more’s the pity. I actually enjoyed the snow days we had earlier this year; it was so weird and beautiful, and the way it made the city look was also strangely gorgeous. I screen-shot or grabbed so many pictures of it from all over the Internet…I am even thinking about setting a Scotty during the snow (Bayou Blizzard Boogie, which is an extremely fun title, and the book could get one of those snowy images of the city for the cover and…this is how my brain works, y’all, and you wonder why I question my sanity at times? What do you mean, you don’t wonder about it because it’s so obvious? How very dare you! lol). But the cold is now gone; it’s in the fifties this morning, with a high predicted in the seventies, so we’re back to normal weather for New Orleans November.

Yesterday was a good day, more or less. Yes, we were busy at work and yes, I was the only counselor working in the clinic (the rest of the week and month, it looks like), but I got through it. I’m a little behind again on admin duties, but I think I’ll be able to catch up this afternoon. The morning was back to back when I last looked yesterday, but the afternoon wasn’t quite as intense. I managed to get home and do chores last night (huzzah!) before settling in to finish off The Diplomat‘s third season, which is spectacular. HIGHLY recommend this show; if you’ve not already seen it, jump in head first. You won’t regret it.

I also started making my to-do list yesterday; yes, it’s rather late to make a weekly to-do list, but I can make a new one every Monday and ease my way back into the habit of the lists and following them; the organization of this pleases my anxiety to no end. I need to put “clean out inbox” on it, because the list of my unanswered emails is getting rather lengthy, and there are few things I like better than opening my inbox and seeing nothing in it. I do not miss the days of volunteer work that resulted in hundreds more emails every week. The problem is when there’s not a lot to answer it’s very easy to blow it off for another day, and since I always lose track of days and time, next thing I know it’s been a few weeks! My apologies to anyone who’s expecting an email from me…

But it’s actually been a good week. No fatigue, which has been marvelous, and just normal being 64 tired, which is lovely. My body has been through the ringer already this decade, and so it’s not that unusual for me to still not be back to whatever the new normal is going to be. I worried that the fatigue and exhaustion was the new normal, but that doesn’t appear to be the case. The most important thing for me to do is ensure I never have a relapse with the colitis, although it will never ever get as bad as it was when I had to be hospitalized, since we now know what the problem is and it doesn’t need to be diagnosed, and my GI specialist will know what to do to get me through it as quickly as possible. I don’t think I’ll ever lose that much weight that quickly ever again, either. DO NOT RECOMMEND.

I also started organizing bigger projects for my newsletter. Ooooh, Gregalicious, explain more! I’ve been wanting to tackle two subjects there–masculinity and religion–but have been hesitant because they are such big topics, and there is some crossover between the two. It occurred to me this weekend that I could simply pick subjects that fall under either umbrella and post/write/share as chapters. How cool! (I’d also been idly thinking about writing a continuing story there when the lightbulb went on over my head; it is truly sad how oblivious I can be to the obvious.) So, now I am pulling all the essay ideas I have for either topic into one document with a descriptive paragraph–an outline, if you will–so I can get started with both: the masculinity essays will go under the over-arching umbrella of “Are You Man Enough?” and religion will go under “Recovering Christian.”

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely midweek Wednesday, Constant Reader, and I will check in with you again tomorrow.

The Ramses II temple at Abu Simbel at night. This must be beautiful to see from the Nile.

I Hold On

Well, here we are on an extremely cold Tuesday morning and it is very chilly here in the work station here in the kitchen; I don’t even want to think about how cold the floor would be against bare feet (which is why I have a very comfortable pair of house shoes). It is bitterly cold outside this morning; about thirty-one degrees, per the local weather. It ends tonight, by the way, and we’ll recede back into fall from winter tomorrow (highs in the high 60s, low 70s) with a chance at winter coming back relatively soon. I just laughed at myself for talking about the weather; I kind of do that every day, don’t I?

Then again, I am sixty-four, and the right age to sit outside a country store in a rocking chair wearing a railroad cap and overalls and chewing tobacco. There, but for choices…but I don’t think old men hang around outside the country store/gas station in rural areas anymore; that’s part and parcel of my childhood and that world doesn’t really exist anymore, much as I’d like to think that it does. It often crops up when I am writing about Alabama–because that’s how I remember it, and that Alabama is so far gone in the rear view mirror it cannot even be seen.

Despite Chuckie and the Quislings, yesterday was also a lovely day because that horrible witch Kim Davis’ appeal of the six figure settlement awarded to a couple that sued her skank cosplay christian ass for refusing to issue a marriage license for them? Yeah, for once the Supreme Court did the right thing and refused to hear her case. Womp fucking womp, bitch. Have fun in bankruptcy hell. Maybe your buddies in the Huckabee family will help you pay off that oh-so-deserved debt liability, you miserable bitch. Now you can slink back to the bog you slithered out of, and you will forever be known as a hateful bitch deserted by the people who used her to try to overturn Obergefell1, which SCOTUS is just itching to do (her case wasn’t good enough for even those partisan hacks to overturn their previous decision; they’re waiting for the right one, you know. They have lifetime appointments and aren’t going anywhere soon). Just like the murdering thugs George Zimmerman and that pasty Mama’s soft boy whose name I can’t even remember at the moment, they abandoned her as soon as she ceased to be of use to them. What a shame.

I was tired last night when I got home from the errands in the cold. Well, tired isn’t the right word; more like I felt drained and listless. The apartment wasn’t cold, but I didn’t really feel 100% most of the day, either. I feel better this morning–not much of a reach there–so maybe I’ll be able to get some things done tonight when I get home from work, whether it’s writing or reading my Donna Andrews mystery. (I have to say, when I was moving stuff around on the end table–reordering the TBR Next Pile; Wanda Morris is up next–and I opened the book to just take a look at the opening…and she talks about the mass suicide at Igbo Landing, which I’ve been reading about!!! I cannot wait to read this book now! I should also see how far behind I am on Wanda’s work….and it’s only this one I’ve not gotten to yet. Huzzah! Note to self: email her.) I also have dishes to put away and dishes to put in the dishwasher. Sigh. There are worse things, after all.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Tuesday, Constant Reader, and I’ll check in with you again on Midweek Wednesday morning.

  1. She also needs to keep Jesus out of her skank mouth. Jesus never once preached arrogance in the faith or cruelty. You, madam, are arrogant in your faith AND cruel. Enjoy doing the breaststroke in the lake of eternal fire, blasphemer. ↩︎

Mercy Now

Monday and its back to the office with me this morning. It’s also cold; before you mock me, it’s in the forties, and I had to turn the heat1 on when I got up this morning otherwise I’d freeze after my shower. I slept decently, but woke up a few times during the night yet had no trouble rising up out of the warmth of my heavy covers into the chill of the apartment. I was also feeling a bit under the weather when I woke up, but my coffee and being awake are making me feel better by the moment. I laid out my clothes before slipping under the covers last night, and was happy to put out not only my tights but a sweater. I do love wearing a sweater, and it’s also soup/chili weather, too, which is always pleasant. I know the cold is going to last through tomorrow, getting even colder; not sure what happens beyond Tuesday and not really caring about it, in all honesty. There’s never any point to looking beyond two days because the forecast always changes.

Looks like winter is here!

Yesterday was kind of a nice lazy day. I devoted myself to mostly reading. I finished reading The Hunting Wives, which I really enjoyed, and even started writing my newsletter about the book and the show. I also read some short stories, and reread some of my own writing that I want to work on this week. I’m not really sure why I wasn’t motivated to work much this past weekend, but there it is, and there we go, you know? The fact that I am not beating myself up over this is nice, but a bit weird. Anxiety medication, perhaps? It could be, I don’t know. I was worried that taking my anxiety away might be problematic for me doing my work and not worrying about finishing anything on time; which could also be just another example of the anxiety riddling my brain. Oy. Why do I always make things worse for myself? A mystery that will never be solved, methinks.

I am so angry about the Senate Democrats that I am not going to post about it just yet. I’ve hated Schumer now for years; how did this milquetoast quisling ever become a senate party leader? Best not be hitting me up for any donations for the foreseeable future, trust me on that. I may even go back and register as an Independent again, because I am no longer sure I want to be considered part of this pathetic bunch of losers. As for Tim Kaine, henceforth I will be referring to him as “the reason Hillary lost and this nightmare began”. Fuck that fascist-adjacent piece of shit now and forever. Fuck all the Neville and the Chamberlains bandmembers, now and forever, forever and ever, amen. Especially doing this so soon after the voting public gave the Fascists a major rebuke. Way to piss on your voters and base, asswipes.

I hope I live long enough to complete my “pissing on traitors’ graves” tour of the country.

I didn’t feel so hot when I got up this morning, which was kind of tied to my restless sleep. I made dinner last night and thus ate a big meal later in the evening than I am used to, and I think that stomach distress is what bothered me all night and into this morning. But my toast and sausage breakfast sandwich seem to have settled things down abdominally, and I am feeling pretty great at the moment….which could just be a caffeine high. But that’s okay; even if it does wear off later. I have to run some errands on my way home from work on this cold day (tonight is going to be even colder! Eeee!), and order some things for delivery (which I will probably do tomorrow), before I can get my ass back into the warmth of my apartment, the comfort of my easy chair, and a purring kitty sleeping in my lap while I start reading Donna Andrews’ Between a Flock and a Hard Place, which will enable me to listen to one of her Christmas novels on the way back from Kentucky in a few weeks. Huzzah!

Oh, and the Supreme Court declined to hear Kim Davis’ appeal to them to overturn Obergefell. I’m happy about this, of course, but I can’t believe the fascist conservatives on the court would pass up a chance to fuck over the queers, so they must have another card to play at some point in the future, rest assured. The fucks always have a plan.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines on this chilled morning. Have a great day, Constant Reader, and I’ll check in with you again tomorrow–on an even more chilled morning!

The ceiling of the temple at Luxor, Egypt
  1. It is so lovely having an HVAC system that works properly; the apartment was comfortable when I went up to shower; and the working HVAC is probably part and parcel of why I don’t mind the cold so much anymore. ↩︎

The Joke

And here we are on Sunday morning, rested and refreshed and ready to dive into my last day off for this weekend. I slept late again today, after not having much of a busy day; mostly, I watched football games while doing chores and reading. LSU lost, but it wasn’t as bad as I feared it would be. And who knew that Auburn-Vanderbilt would be the game of the day? It was the best I’ve seen Auburn play all season, and it was a shame they lost in overtime. Apparently, Kentucky shellacked Florida last night, too. Tulane played Friday night, and they also won, continuing to be the pride of Louisiana football. Roll Wave!

As I read deeper into The Hunting Wives, the book continues to deviate from the show (which was very fun) and the tone is very different. I will, of course, write about the book and the show once I’ve finished reading it. I had also pushed off writing about Boots until after Halloween, and now I am not sure I remember it well enough to write about it. Ah, well, I have some other newsletters that I need to get written, too. I had a crisis of confidence last night about Chlorine; which is normal for me, I think. (I was spending some time plotting the story and had one of those you’re going to blow this great idea moments; which is self-defeating and the entire point of those wretched kind of thoughts and spirals. Those are holdovers from untreated anxiety, and if I let them run their course without allowing them to take root, they always pass. I’m confident about it again this morning, so this methodology definitely seems to work.) I’ll probably read some more this morning before I hop into the shower and get cleaned up. I am making my own version of Swedish meatballs later on, too.

The cold apparently will descend upon us later today. It’s warm this morning, if cloudy; we’ll probably have thunderstorms in the evening and overnight as the temperature drops to a low of 37 (!!!) overnight. Yesterday was lovely when I ran my errands; I also spent some time pruning the books down again. You can actually see the dent I made in my book hoarder stacks! This is enormously pleasing, and while I did end up putting some books back into the stacks that I considered donating (they intrigued me again while looking at them), I did make the kind of progress I wanted. Maybe next weekend I can be even more ruthless…I mean, some of these I bought ten years or so ago and still haven’t read; maybe it’s time to set them free so someone else can enjoy them instead of collecting dust here in the Lost Apartment, right? And at least I paid for them.

I was also thinking yesterday about my newsletter/blog/personal essays, and how I am always so reluctant to talk deeply about my affinity for some authors and the books I love because I don’t have a degree in Literature and don’t read extensively academic explorations of literature, which makes me fear that anything I might have to say might have already been said (multiple times) by any number of Lit professors, and been dissected, deconstructed, and developed through vigorous debate and argument. It was more self-defeating talk; I may not have read as much of the classics as I maybe should have (most of which I didn’t enjoy in the least) or practiced such things on classics in the collegiate classroom (some day, I will discuss at great length my many failures at secondary education), but ultimately, it always boils down to opinion, doesn’t it? The newsletter essays also aren’t something I generally just write off the top of my head as I experience them; they marinate for a while in my head and I may take more than one run at the topic, too, before sharing them with my slowly growing subscription base. (This blog, on the other hand, is whatever comes to mind in the morning as I drink my coffee, and yawn and stretch and try to come alive.) That’s why I decided to separate opinion essays on movies, books, and television out from here to the newsletter, which eases the time burden on thinking about culture I consume. And the essays are supposed to be creative outlets for me to write about things that interest me, and I have soooo many varied interests.

And it also allows me to write personal essays about my life and past. I am writing one now that was inspired by going to my parents’ high school’s Homecoming game the last time I went up to Alabama. I also thought some yesterday, not just about Chlorine but several other things I am writing or have in progress that I’d love to get off my desk throughout the end of this year and next. I think maybe finishing all this work in progress might make me feel a little less harried and frenzied and behind on everything? Who knows?

And on that note, my book is calling to me, so I am going to head to my easy chair to do some reading. Have a great Sunday and I will be back in the morning.

Maidens supporting a roof on the Acropolis, Athens.

You’ll Think of Me

Work-at-home Friday, and not a single meeting on my agenda for the day. Huzzah! I really hate meetings; I always have, primarily because so many of them fall into the “this could have been an email” category.

Yesterday was a very good day. Yes, I was alone in the clinic yesterday without a nurse, but we weren’t terribly busy and I was able to get a lot of my Admin duties–the ones that have to be done in the office–finished. I am almost completely caught up on everything, and I have been doing a very good job of keeping up with everything rather than the ever-popular meh, I can do it tomorrow thinking I so often fall into. But I’ve not been tired this week, which probably had to do with the time change and sleeping an hour later (technically) than I was. Once I am used to it, I’ll probably go back to being sleepy and tired all the time again. Something to look forward to?

And in other delightful news, a jury of his peers found Sean Dunn not guilty of a misdemeanor for throwing a Subway sandwich at an ICE agent, or “assault with a deadly sandwich.” This entire case–and that this went to fucking trial–is yet another indicator of the Keystone Cops-like approach to governance in this current “administration” and its authoritarian Fascistic policies. My personal favorite was the “victim” testifying about his PTSD from the sandwich exploding…despite the fact the sandwich can clearly be seen afterward, on the ground, still in its wrapper. I guess Mr. Alpha Male Ice Agent will be forever traumatized by the smell of onions and mustard. Grow a pair, you little bitch–balls or ovaries, I don’t care which. And seriously, everyone–yes, their grasp on power means their idiocy and fascism is scary, but this is yet another example of what whiny cry-babies the right are. Fuck them and forever, seriously. Their posturing has no basis or courage behind it.

As I said, when I got home from work last night, I wasn’t tired or fatigued; my hips didn’t even ache. I didn’t do a whole lot of anything around here, either; I caught up on watching the news and did some organizing of computer files, and I did write for a little while. It was, all in all, a very nice and relaxing evening at home. Before I start my work duties this morning, I am going to make a to-do list and put the dishes away and finish the laundry. I am thinking today is going to be my “don’t leave the house at all” day for the weekend–tomorrow I’ll make a short grocery run and get the mail–and hopefully this day, and the weekend, will be productive as well as relaxing. This morning, Sparky let me sleep in a bit before I finally got up, which was very appreciated. I feel good and rested this morning, and it looks to be a lovely day. This weekend we’re going to have extremely cold temperatures over night–potential freeze, too–so it’s a good “stay in my chair under a blanket” weather. I want to finish reading The Hunting Wives this weekend, and get started on my next book. I am going to go back to the pre-Halloween Horror Month methodology for reading something new to me, rereading something else, and reading a juvenile/young adult novel all at the same time. Maybe I can swap one of those out for nonfiction? I don’t know, we’ll have to see how The Hunting Wives goes this weekend. I’d also like to finish another newsletter essay, whether it’s the one about Boots or the one about going to my dad’s high school homecoming game when I was last in Alabama.

And of course, there’s always computer files to clean up and hard copy filing to do, too. And the chores; but I tried to keep up with them as much as I could this past week, so the downstairs isn’t too terrible.

I also can’t keep horror out of my mind, probably because I immersed myself so thoroughly in the genre for all of October. But watching those podcasts on Youtube about Appalachian/Southern lore and legend has been incredibly inspirational for my own horror writing. I’d also like to get some good foundational work done on Chlorine this weekend, too. I’m also still glowing from the election results from Tuesday; it’s nice to experience the audacity of hope again.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Friday, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back on the morrow!

We really have the most gorgeous sky here.