Category: health

24 Karat Gold

Sunday and later I have to head for the Quarter for a panel, a reading and the closing reception. I am so glad I took tomorrow off! Just thinking about the day ahead makes me tired. I was very tired yesterday but ran some errands, including picking up my copy of Enemy of My Enemy, the new Daredevil novel from the always delightful Alex Segura and making some groceries. I tried to be productive yesterday but fell into a vortex of laziness and rest that carried me through the day until I went to bed last night. I didn’t want to get up this morning, either, and Sparky was very insistent. I don’t have a lot of time this morning before I have to get ready and summon a Lyft to the Quarter. I don’t resent the wasted time yesterday–I did watch some of the figure skating–but will definitely have to recover while being productive tomorrow.

I am very glad I took tomorrow off.

I did start watching Inside the Manosphere yesterday, and didn’t last very long before I was nauseated and disgusted and had to turn it off, and I don’t even think I lasted a full ten minutes. We do very much live in the time of the grift, do we not? It seems like everywhere we turn, there’s a grifter trying to con people out of their money. I would say we are heading for a grift economy, if we aren’t already in one. The Fed said the Treasury is insolvent this past week, which is nothing new; the Treasury has been insolvent for decades now, no one has bothered to make it known. I know this is a conservative point, but the national debt isn’t a credit card where we can keep raising the limit every year. This means the truth is the world economy is really just smoke and mirrors; the United States cannot pay its debt but calling the loans and a default would collapse the world economy, so the credit ceiling keeps being raised, kicking the can and a world-wide economic collapse down the road so someone else can deal with it. (This was the thinking of the French Bourbons in the 1780s, and how did that work out for them?) I don’t have a problem with cutting federal spending, but cutting it from things that do not benefit the American people. Funny how that is always the first thing that needs to be cut, not the billions of dollars pumped into our military and into other countries as bribes to be our allies.

I don’t think there’s much benefit to being an American ally these days, is there? What do Qatar and the UAE and the Saudis and Kuwait think about that now? And of course we can’t even be certain that the news we are getting about this stupid new war is actually true, now that our mainstream media has become so deeply corrupted and untrustworthy. I’ll never trust CBS, CNN, or any of the big papers ever again. I suppose this regime has done the country a favor by showing how hollow and false and misplaced our trust has been in the institutions that supposedly make our democracy stronger. And once you see the pattern of American exceptionalism in the way we are taught to view our history and that of the rest of the world, the institutions crumble beneath the weight of the lies they’ve been telling us for years. Once you see it and the scales from your eyes are gone, you can’t unsee it, and you question everything you know.

One of the things about this decade and what I’ve been through on top of everything else we collectively have been through has been being forced to stop and slow down and think about everything. Having COVID in the summer of 2022 physically forced me not to check or answer emails or take phone calls or write or do anything other than watch television, and think. That illness and enforced rest made me realize I wasn’t very happy and I wasn’t enjoying my life anymore (or my authorial career) and that it was time to start making some changes…and after that initial illness, there were so many other times I was forced to take time off–surgeries and recoveries, etc.–and I was able to start examining myself and who I am and why I am the way I am, and to decide that ultimately the only person besides Paul that I am responsible for is me, and I am the only person who can make my life better and more peaceful. I started sorting things out for myself and dealing with my own issues, figuring out a lot of things I never took the time to do before, primarily because I didn’t want to examine any of this–and I think that I stayed so super-busy so I would never have time to think and process because my down time was spent resting because I was exhausted. I didn’t do a lot of chores or reading or writing yesterday mainly because I wanted to free up my brain to rest and think clearly and prepare. I’ve made peace with a lot of things over these past few years, and my mental health and my peace of mind is the most important thing in my life going forward.

And on that note, I am going to get ready to head into the spice mines. Have a lovely Sunday, everyone, and I’ll be back tomorrow morning.

Pyramid of the Soothsayer, Uxmal and there’s no way I would climb that thing

Starshine

Saturday morning in the Lost Apartment and all is well. I was very tired last night when I climbed the stairs and went to bed, Sparky in tow, and the little menace let me sleep in a bit this morning. I had planned to do errands this morning or in the early afternoon, but am not so sure now. Maybe after some more coffee? Maybe. Yesterday was nice and chill; I finished watching Traitors New Zealand, which was fun, but now I am out of Traitors to watch. Hmmm. I am planning on watching that manosphere documentary today at some point–I may have to take breaks from it because it might get on my nerves (if everyone’s an alpha, no one’s an alpha, and following one automatically makes you a beta, so I’ve never really been able to wrap my mind around the concept), and I should head over to Rouse’s for a few things today. I want to do some reading today, as well.

I did take a Lyft down to the opening reception for Saints & Sinners last night, but it was in the evening and so I was already getting tired. I also learned that it’s not good for me to stand for a while, either. My legs were exhausted, my Achilles tendons screaming, and my hips hurt by the time I climbed into my Lyft home. I think I was there about an hour? I did see Rob Byrnes, Jean and Gillian and Trebor Healey and Steven Reigns and Eric Andrews-Katz and Fay Jacobs and Carol Rosenfeld and numerous others. I also saw Dan Boyle for the first time in decades, and finally met the marvelous Jonathan Harper, which was delightful. But I was tired and there was a lot of people and I got very overwhelmed, which was also exhausting, so I was happy to come home and watch some news and rewatched Alysa Liu’s gold medal Olympic performance, which is one of my favorites of all time.

Remember the other day when I was talking about Barbara Tuchman’s book The March of Folly, in which she examined several instances of nations acting stupidly and not in their own best interest? She use the Trojan Horse, the Renaissance Popes sparking the Reformation, the loss of Britain’s thirteen American Atlantic seaboard colonies, and of course, Vietnam. As I was watching some of those “MAGA regret” videos last night, or reading comments on them, I was struck again by how the greatest American folly wasn’t, in fact, Vietnam, but MAGA. It doesn’t matter that there are more anti-MAGA folks than MAGA, but Vietnam was never a popular war here, either–and yet our government continued it. This current WAR with Iran is also incredibly unpopular and expensive–spending money the right claims we don’t have for health care and food for children or infrastructure or anything that would better the state of the country and the lives of its people…but our government will always open the checkbook for a war which gives us literally nothing and makes us less safe. Why do so many people vote against their best interests so consistently?

Choices, as Tatianna would say.

The funniest thing to me is so many right-wing “thinkers” subscribe to Ayn Rand’s philosophy of what she called “enlightened self-interest,” which sounds much better than “selfish narcissism.” The irony that these fools fail to see their goddess would think them dullards and fools has always amused me. That philosophy is a very flawed theory. I have always wanted to write about its high-minded sounding justification for being a malign tumor on humanity, but that would also require me to revisit Rand’s works, and I’d rather wash down ground glass with bleach, thank you. (A friend once said of Rand, “her writing was the least of her crimes,” which makes me laugh to this day because accurate.)

Rand hated religion, by the way; she considered it a crime against humanity, and you know–stopped clock. So, you cannot follow Rand’s philosophy while being a Christian. Sit with that a while, right-wingers. (She hated it more than Karl Marx did.)

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Saturday, Constant Reader, and I’ll check in with you tomorrow.

80’s male model Rick Edwards

All the Beautiful Worlds

Ah, you have to love waking up and checking your email and the first subject line you see is Reminder: Inspector Hole is now on Netflix. It always makes me laugh–as does the fact his first name is Harry–because I sometimes have the maturity level of a junior high student. I’ve always meant to get to Jo Nesbø’s highly acclaimed series, just never have. The Festivals will be over by Sunday night, and so normality might return to the Lost Apartment (I’m not counting on it) soon and we can start watching a new show, or the new season of a favorite. I’ll be done with The Traitors New Zealand (I’m not enjoying this season as much thus far, but it should start kicking into gear soon. I was bitterly disappointed they banished the hottest guy already, which threw a wrench in my social theory I was developing from watching. Then again, it could be the exception that proves the rule. Sorry, Fili, you were gone too soon) by the end of the weekend. I will be heading down to the Quarter later for the Saints and Sinners opening party, but will probably come home directly after. Everything I have to do is on Sunday, which will make for a long, draining day, and am very glad I wisely took Monday off to recover and run errands and get ready for the week. I have some work-at-home duties to get done and a training later this morning on-line, so I am also going to try to clean the apartment when my eyes get bleary and start to cross. I got up and fed Sparky on time before going back to bed for a couple of hours, so I feel very rested this morning. Sparky is also playful this morning, so he’s alternating between attacking me with claws and fangs or chasing a bottlecap. He really is adorable, if a bit of a pest sometimes.

I was tired when I left the office yesterday and came straight home from work. I plopped down into my chair with Lord Sparkster and caught up on the news, which was horrible as per usual with this regime. I obviously watched an episode of The Traitors because of course I did, have you been paying attention? I was going to start watching the new Paul Theroux documentary but after seeing the toxic white men all day on social media I just couldn’t face even watching these twerps getting mocked the way I am sure the documentary does (my favorite comment to these pricks on-line is “if everyone’s an alpha no one is”), but I’ll try it tomorrow or tonight when I get home from the party.

The world figure skating championships are also this weekend, with Ilia Malinin in first after the men’s short, with the other Americans in the Top Ten–and Amber Glenn and Isabeau Levito are third and fourth, in medal position. I was very happy to see Ilia’s short program on YouTube last night; he seems much freer and happier than he did in Italy at the Olympics.

All the homophobes are, of course, out in force since it was revealed that a future season of Bridgerton will actually feature a lesbian romance by changing the gender of the male lead to a woman. Oh, the straight white ladies—the same ones who creamed themselves—and still do—about Heated Rivalry, and members of the m/m community suddenly realizing, like gay men have been telling them for almost twenty years, that it’s a fetish for some of you and you need to listen to gay men and call out the homophobia which you never did.

For the record, you homophobic bitches, I read and consume lesbian art regularly because it’s good, not because it gets me off. If a gay man can read and enjoy lesbian art, a straight woman certainly can. Then again, if it’s okay for straight women to write vampires and space aliens why can’t they write gay men? (This has been said to me any number of times. Yes, we only exist in fiction, bitch.) I saw a lot of this misogynistic patriarchical thinking from a lot of hateful straight white women yesterday, and no, you’re never beating the allegations, ladies. Clean up your community and stop attacking gay men.

Someone also pointed out something interesting in response to one of those right-wingers who posted about how he has liberal friends and they all get along because they don’t talk about politics—they noted these posts only ever come from the right, never the left. How often do you see someone on the left post about how they’re still friends with their right-winger friends and family because they don’t talk politics? It’s never someone who isn’t MAGA, and the post inevitably was triggered by being cut off from friends and family members because you voted for a pedophile who’s destroying the world. “You make politics your personality!“ Well, I sure as fuck wouldn’t if I were MAGA, for one, and for two, it’s not politics, it’s morality. How many “I regret my vote” posts and videos have you seen from Harris voters? None? I do see a lot of pining and sadness from MAGA people who’ve been cut off, but they never seem to grasp what their vote and support actually showed decent human beings about who they actually are. I wouldn’t feel safe having my kids around people who support pedophilia, or just are okay with looking the other way.

Sigh.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Friday, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back tomorrow morning.

The Temple of Poseidon, Attica, Greece

Love Is

…definitely not getting up at six on a Monday morning, methinks. I slept pretty well, but didn’t want to get up (I never do, so nothing new there), and am a little discombobulated; yesterday kept seeming like Saturday, and it wasn’t. My primary accomplishments of the day were getting things delivered so I didn’t have to leave the house, I finished reading Mississippi Blue 42, and finished watching season 2 of The Traitors Australia, which means I am almost finished with everything up for streaming on the Peacock app and will soon be looking for something else to watch. But the Festivals are this weekend, and Paul will be back to his what-passes-for-normal in his life next week, and we are very behind on a lot of streaming shows (new seasons and new ones to watch), so picking out something to watch shouldn’t be difficult. I also managed to keep avoiding the news for the most part since leaving Thursday, and I kept it going through the weekend. I really don’t want to check back in, do I? I have noticed the increase in the cost of gas–up to over $4 a gallon here in New Orleans. Remind when precisely gas was over four dollars a gallon during the last year of the Biden administration?

Sigh.

The last time I bought gas before the funeral trip, it was $2.59 a gallon and I was irritated with myself for not filling up the day before. So. Much. Winning.

I feel a bit weird this morning–not unwell, but not well, either. I suspect it has to do with the weather being different down here than it was over in Alabama, and my sinuses are having to get used to our heavier air again here. I slept well last night, too. It was a nice, relaxing day overall, in which I did some spot cleaning and some picking up around here, and of course I had things delivered. I have to swing by the post office for the mail on the way home, and I will swing past the grocery store on my way back to the house. I need to make a list–I don’t think I need too much, actually–and I do have a few things to do when I get home tonight. I need to also check my to-do list, and add some things to it. It’s becoming more and more clear to me that I can’t trust my short-term memory anymore. I think I’m going to start watching an episode of Jeopardy every night, because it makes me think and sharpens my brain.

I’ve not even checked my email since last Thursday–there’s a lot of it, so am afraid to look, but I am sure most of it is easily delete-able sales attempts. Or loan offers at loan shark interest rates. I don’t think I’m expecting anything crucial. Wish me luck when I open the inbox later.

I was very pleased that I finished reading Mississippi Blue 42. The only reason it took so long was because of brain fatigue; too tired when I get home from work to read for a while and same with the weekends. I really enjoyed it, and listening to the first half or more certainly made it easier for me to get back into reading the physical copy, which was marvelous. Eli Cranor is a marvelous writer, and the book inspired a lot of creative thoughts for me…it was also interesting because my uncle, whose funeral I attended, played college and pro ball and was a high school football coach (a successful one) until he retired. We really are such a college football family, it’s wild. I get my love of it from my family; and it’s always been so much a part of my life that I can’t imagine what it’s like not to follow college football. I turned Paul into a fanatic, too. (He was already a big sports fan, so getting him into college football wasn’t terribly hard.)

Season 2 of The Traitors Australia was absolutely amazing, with an enormous twist at the end that I saw coming, but wasn’t sure would deliver. But it DID! Now, all I have is one season of New Zealand before I am done, but I may go back and rewatch the most recent season of the US so I can evaluate and write a newsletter about.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Monday, Constant Reader, and I will check in on you again tomorrow!

The great statues of Ramesses II at Abu Simbel.

I Miss You

EDITORIAL NOTE: I started writing this Friday morning, but didn’t finish it until this morning.

Friday in Alabama!

Yesterday was an okay day for the most part. I got up feeling pretty rested–good Lord, the bed and blankets are so damned comfortable–and departed for work. I was fine at work all day and was able to get a lot done before I left at noon. I went home, packed, cleaned a little bit, and headed out. There was some traffic around Mobile, but it was a relatively easy drive and I was deeply enjoying listening to Eli Cranor’s Mississippi Blue 42. I stopped at the new Buc-ee’s in Mississippi for gas, and got lunch at Jack’s in Creota, Alabama. I got here about six o’clock, very tired, and hung out with Dad for a while. Today I am driving him over to my aunt’s to help her get things ready at the church for the funeral, before coming back here to get ready myself. I also have to stop somewhere to get the things I forgot to pack (can’t replace my hearing aids charger, so I’ll be going deaf for the service) and I am not sure what the day holds after that. I am waiting for Dad right now to come get me so I can drive him over there. There’s a Walmart here, so I am going to swing by there either this morning or later on today to get some things that I need. Honestly! But everything I forgot was not written down on my packing list, which just goes to show me that the list MUST BE THOROUGH. I woke up several times during the night, but the bed was very comfortable but I think I’ll hit a wall later today, too. I am driving back to New Orleans tomorrow morning, and should be home by the mid/early afternoon.

The funeral service was actually quite lovely, and I met some cousins’ offspring and grandchildren I’d never met before, and saw some other relatives that I see more regularly than, well, I guess never? After the church service we went to the graveside service, which, given it was hot and the sun was out and we were all wearing black dress clothes…well, maybe the preacher might have wanted to consider that before he started talking? But these things—and my relatives—always make me think about church and religion. I’m always so caught off guard by how devoted they are, and how much church is pretty much a routine part of their lives. I’ve always wondered how it felt to believe without doubt, which I’ve never been able to master when I was trying as a teenager. But my sister—who came around eventually-and I weren’t raised in the church, just around it. The beliefs and values of the Church of Christ were installed in us by everyone around us as children, and even when I started going with Mom and my sister when I was in high school, I still wasn’t quite all the way there—even when I was active in the Youth Group, and went three times a week to services and sang the hymns and said amen after every prayer. Religion is really about the fear of death, and the fear of the unknown, I realized at the graveside service, and morbid as it sounds, I don’t think I ever had that powerful fear of death motivating me to believe. I somehow somewhere believed I was going to die young , so it’s quite a jolt sometimes to realize I did grow old.

I have had a lot of close calls, though—but that’s a story for another time.`

I also finished the editing job, too, which turned out to be way more fun than I expected—the material is brilliant—and can’t wait to talk about it more when it’s closer to release. I also worked on my next newsletter last night before going to bed—back to Scotty promo stuff, after all the new subscribers I picked up eulogizing Lauren last weekend—hope they aren’t bored! I’ll probably finish it tonight before bed, revise and edit it Sunday morning, and then send it out. I have chores to do at home, of course; don’t I always? I’ll also have to make a grocery run and order some things to be delivered.

I’m loving my new iPad and its Magic Keyboard, which basically has turned it into a laptop with a touch screen, and I actually like working on it more than my MacBook Air.

SUNDAY

Well, I didn’t quite finish that and get it posted whilst I was out of town, now, did I? I did not. I didn’t sleep great either night in the hotel–I’d forgotten my evening-anxiety-help-me-sleep medications–and so was kind of tired yesterday when I drove down the on-ramp to I-65 South. I made good time, though–a little less than four hours, because I didn’t have to stop anywhere on the way. I was plenty exhausted when I pulled up and parked in front of the house yesterday afternoon. I unloaded the car, ordered lunch to be delivered, and then collapsed into my easy chair. Sparky slept in my lap all afternoon as I watched some more of The Traitors (it was weird not even watching a single episode for several days). But after a little while, my legs were no longer exhausted and tired, so I was able to get up and do the dishes and start the laundry and picking up a bit more around here; I kind of left the place messy. I also have to take inventory and figure out what groceries are needed, so I can either order them for delivery today or stop on the way home from work tomorrow. I have to go uptown to get the mail anyway, so might as well swing by the grocery store, right?

I was greatly enjoying listening to Eli Cranor’s Mississippi Blue 42, and I am going to finish reading it in hard copy today. The drive down was nice, if I was a bit impatient to get home. There really wasn’t much traffic, and I didn’t even get terribly delayed by the infamous I-10 to I-90 ramp. My creativity also amped up yesterday as I was doing chores and watching videos on Youtube about Alabama–you know the type; “Ten Ghost Towns in Alabama” or “Twenty Cool Things You Didn’t Know About Alabama”–and they were really cool and great and interesting, and yes, gave me some ideas. I wish I had more time to take off from work so I can just go exploring, both here in Louisiana and in Alabama; I’d love to visit Moundville near Tuscaloosa again. My aunt took my sister and I there where we were kids, and the only thing I really remember was my aunt bought me a Davy Crockett raccoon skin cap, complete with the bushy tail. I’d also like to see Poverty Point here in Louisiana.

And I want to get back to writing fiction regularly again. I can get started this week, even with the Festivals coming up this weekend (AIEEEE), an of course Paul will be moving into the hotel on Wednesday night, leaving me home alone with Sparky, who will be lonely and feeling abandoned. I also have to be careful to ensure I don’t get worn out, and must reserve my energy. We certainly don’t want a repeat of last year, which resulted in me winding up in the hospital. The two things aren’t related, but my brain associates them together, alas–just like I associate Hurricane Season Hustle with being sick because it happened while I was writing the book.

And on that note, I am going to head over to my easy chair to finish reading Elis book, and figure out what to do with the rest of my day. Have a good one, and I will see you again tomorrow in the morning.

Former collegiate wrestler and now fitness influences @fitnesspeach. I do wonder if Meta will hide this image as “adult content” because a bit of cheek is exposed.

Fall from Grace

Thursday morning and I am driving to Alabama this afternoon. I slept well yesterday, but still got tired yesterday afternoon. I am almost finished with an editorial job, which hopefully I will get done tonight before I go to bed at the hotel. I didn’t do much of anything when I got home because I was tired; I just ran the dishwasher (I’d meant to turn it on before I left yesterday morning but didn’t) and repaired to the chair with my purring cuddle kitty and finished The Traitors Australia’s first season. There’s only one of those left and one season of New Zealand on Peacock, and then I am going to have to track down how to stream Canada’s. I am going to listen to Eli Cranor’s latest novel on the drive over and the drive back, and should finish the entire novel by the end of the weekend.

Sigh. I also didn’t pack last night, figuring I could do it after work. My original plan was to drive over this afternoon then drive home after the service tomorrow–old-timey thinking on my part; get it over and get home. Then I realized I have to take Friday off regardless, so why not drive back on Saturday morning? I also thought I’d only leave two hours early, and go from the office. (Dad pointed out that it was kind of nuts to drive back on Friday; which is when I realized how stupid I was being about this entire trip.) Instead I am going to leave work at noon, come home to do some chores and pack, and still get on the road around the time I planned originally to leave work. I don’t have to rush anymore, and rushing always amped up the stress in the pre-medicated days. Now I can just take my time and relax, you know? I can make a packing list this morning at the office and be organized better. I have things to do at the office today before I leave as well, but as long as I stay motivated, I can get everything finished before I head out.

Sigh. Here’s hoping, at any rate.

And it’s yet another messed up week for me; I think this is three or four in a row? There was the water main breaks affecting two separate Mondays and I was sick the Monday in between those two. This week is disrupted by an unexpected trip. But getting home Saturday afternoon will give me the chance to get things caught up, make groceries, and maybe do some cleaning and get the apartment back under control. I do feel like I am actually getting a grip or a handle on my life again…and I just remembered the Festivals are next weekend, too, so that’s not going to be a normal pair of weeks, either. Ah, well, maybe some sense of order will return to my life in April.

One most excellent thing that happened yesterday was a conversation in a group text with some friends led my mind to spiral into what the plot for the next Scotty and its title (French Quarter Follies), so I madly scribbled down some notes and now I know what Scotty XI (eleven???) will be; I was a bit worried because I hadn’t been able to come up with anything, other than I wanted it to be another swing at Carnival. That was kind of exciting; my creativity has been mostly limited to non-fiction (blog and newsletters) since I finished writing the last book and now I am starting to get some of the old creative ADHD back. I’ve not been able to harness and focus it yet, so I am letting it have free reign to bounce all over the place and see what happens. I think listening to Eli’s book on the drive will also kickstart me back into reading fiction again–and I think my next reread with be a Phyllis A. Whitney classic–my very first of her novels for adults, Listen for the Whisperer. (I love that title, too.) I need to complete my reread of The Egyptian Cat Mystery, too.

I also picked up a copy of Bob the Drag Queen’s novel Harriet Tubman: Live in Concert, based on recommendations by Kristopher Zgorski and Catriona McPherson, which I’d really like to dig into.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have yourself a merry little Thursday, and most likely won’t be back until Saturday when I get home, or may even wait until Sunday. Until then, au revoir.

It’s Only Love

Wednesday and halfway through the work week! Huzzah! Yesterday wasn’t terrible. The funeral plans for later this week are cemented and I’ll drive over on Thursday afternoon and back home afterwards on Saturday. I am going to listen to Eli Cranor’s Mississippi Blue 42 in the car going and coming, and then I can finish it off once I get home. Reading progress is reading progress, after all, even if it is listening, after all. I had slept well on Monday night, but I still hit a wall at work yesterday afternoon. I ran by the mail service to get the mail and had some groceries made and delivered, but was very happy to get home and feed the Sparkster, change into my sweats, did a load of dishes, and provide Sparky a warm lap for the evening. I’m still bingeing The Traitors (season 1, Australia, for those keeping track) and went to bed relatively early. I slept gloriously, and Sparky was even cuddled up with me when I woke up without the alarm (I forgot to set it as I climbed into bed last night). I am feeling good this morning so far, and my coffee tastes amazing. I don’t know how cold it is out there–today’s low is 44–but again it’ll be a layers day. I have to pack tonight–it just hit me that I am driving over tomorrow afternoon–when I get home from work. At least this drive isn’t up 59; I-10 to Mobile and then 65 north. I’ve not been this way in eons; the last time was my last book signing or event in Atlanta, whenever that was.

Heavy sigh.

I don’t think I’m going to be terribly busy today with clients at work, which is great because I have a lot of paperwork to get caught up on. I think when I get back on Saturday I won’t have any errands or anything to do that will require my leaving the house; I can always have things delivered, and I can stay home and rest and relax and try to get caught up more on everything. The Festivals are next weekend (!!!) and so I probably won’t get a lot done at all then, either. Where has March gone, seriously? I guess I lost track of days and time during this Traitors binge I’ve been on. Tomorrow I’ll come home before leaving town, so I can load up the car and head out. I should pass through Mobile before rush hour, and once I am on 65 N it will be an easy, simple drive. The drive home should be even easier. Woo-hoo! God, how anxious I used to get when driving out of town! It’s lovely having no travel anxiety any longer.

Then again, I’ve not flown anywhere in several years, have I? And really have no desire whatsoever to set foot on another plane at any other time soon, either. But I do know the last time I flew–I think for San Diego Bouchercon?–I primed myself and refused to get stressed or anxious, and I managed to succeed without the medication I was put on later for it! I do have a rather strong will when I want to, don’t I? I just don’t understand why I have so much trouble motivating myself and always default to being lazy. (Is it being lazy? I used to get yelled at a lot growing up for being lazy, but I was always reading, so maybe in my head I associate reading with being lazy? And since I am not really reading at the moment, I am definitely being lazy. But it’s also nice to relax my brain, too, you know?

I can literally justify or rationalize anything, can’t I?

And on that note–sorry to be so brief, but very little is actually going on at the moment, and my mind is consumed with finishing an editing project and getting ready for this drive tomorrow. I will be here tomorrow, but most likely not again until I get home on Saturday afternoon. Have a lovely Wednesday, Constant Reader, and I will see you tomorrow morning.

BGEast wrestler Mitch Colby

Candlebright

There was another water main break in Uptown Thursday–this time nearer to the Tulane campus–but it did not come with yet another boil water advisory this time. It really is awful the way the city’s infrastructure is crumbling below our feet. New Orleans is an impossible city in almost every way, but it’s also necessary, which is why we keep rebuilding and living here. It’s also one of the most unique and charming and lovely cities in this country. But despite being called “the Big Easy” (a name the locals hate and never use), it ain’t all that easy to live here, you know?

But it’s now Saturday morning and the day stretches out in front of me, full of possibilities. There are all kinds of drunken St. Patrick’s Day events going on everywhere today (including the Irisy working at home; driving to the Apple Store in Metairie to get a new iPad before stopping by Costco on my way back into the city. Much as I enjoy Costco–and it wasn’t crowded late yesterday when I was there. I lost my membership cards ages ago (Paul usually goes with me and we use his, but the Festivals are in a few more weeks so…), so had to get a new one, which was remarkably easy, and then I shopped my merry way to a ridiculous amount of money changing hands at the cash register. I came home, had to unload the car, and then put everything away and was exhausted by the time all of that was done, so I sank into my easy chair and watched a couple of episodes of you should know by now and then watched LSU Gymnastics against Arkansas, which was an incredible meet; LSU’s Kailin Chio got a 10 on the three apparatus (apparatii?) she competed on! So exciting! And the new iPad is lovely, if a bit frustrating (the number of passwords I had to reset…), and I am pleased with it. I can use it for writing, and its actually less cumbersome than the laptop (which will be seven years old this year). I was also doing the laundry (and there was a lot of it) all day, and I finished all stages of the dishes by unloading the dishwasher and putting everything away. I did wind up staying up later last night than I’d originally intended, but c’est la vie. I also slept later this morning, which was lovely and I feel rested this morning. My Achilles tendons are still tender, so I am going to ice them off and on all day.

I think today is going to be a mostly chill out, relax, and clean day. The apartment is a mess (Costco and iPad packaging debris–Apple’s packaging is very nice, but unnecessary) so I need to make several pilgrimages to the garbage cans this morning. I want to spend some time reading, and I am going to get up early tomorrow to get some work done–writing, emails, editing–as well as pack up the books I need to get in the mail. I am hoping to have a very good week next week; hopefully we won’t have a boil water advisory Monday, and I won’t be sick. Not sure what the deal has been lately with my Mondays, but it needs to stop!

I also did some reading–not much–last night; my reread of the juvenile Rick Brant Science Adventures’ The Egyptian Cat Mystery, and this time the racism and stereotypes–not to mention white condescension–just jumps off the page at me. The book was originally published in the 1961, the year I was born, and so it also very dated; there is no longer a United Arab Republic, for one example. But I should have expected a 1961 mystery for kids to have been chock full of the horrible societal ills of American exceptionalism–which will be an interesting take for the essay I plan to write when I finish this book. I am also looking forward to diving back into Eli Cranor’s latest, as well as Sarah Weinman’s new one.

I also know I am going to write about my friend who passed away this week, but I am still sorting my complicated feelings about that right now. I am trying to only remember the good memories, but some of the negative ones inevitably surface, and I am also trying to let go of that negativity. There’s no sense in holding onto any of that now that she’s gone, you know? But I know I’ll get there; maybe I should start writing it because it will sort my feelings–maybe not but it’s worth the old college try.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Saturday, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back tomorrow morning.

Gorgeous Taylor Zakhar-Perez, of Red White and Royal Blue fame.

Too Far from Texas

Work-at-home Friday, and I have a lot to do today. I have a meeting this morning, some paperwork to get taken care of, and then I have like a gazillion errands to run. I have to pick up a prescription, get the mail, pay bills, and run by Costco–and who knows what else is on the agenda? It will develop, no doubt, as the day passes and I remember other things I need to do and/or pick up. I slept in this morning a bit (thank you, Sparky) and was feeling a bit stiff and sore when I got up. I did ice my left calf last night (the Achilles tendons were screaming) and everything feels a bit tired this morning. I was very productive after work, despite being exhausted when I got home from the office. I stopped on my way home from work at Office Depot to pick up mailing envelopes so I can finally mail out this stack of books on my desk, and collapsed into my easy chair, turning myself into a cat bed for a while so my ankle could be iced and I caught up on the news (ugh) and a few episodes of The Traitors UK to cleanse my mind of negativity, gloom and despair. But while I was sitting there and my purr machine was in my lap, I relaxed enough so I could get up and do some chores before going to bed…so I came downstairs to a relatively clean kitchen and workspace this morning, which was lovely. I have a meeting in a bit before doing some more quality assurance in my chair before I am freed to go attempt to clear my errands and settle back into my chair for more Traitors and the LSU-Arkansas Gymnastics meet tonight.

I’m still debating about the new iPad, but am starting to really lean into it. It won’t kill me to drive out to the Apple Store tomorrow morning, and the parade won’t affect my ability to do that, either–or I can look at them at Costco when I swing by there this afternoon. Yes, I’ve decided finally to go ahead and get the new one. It’s a very nice little reward for myself, and I am going to be completely responsible for the rest of this found money gift from Victoria.1

The sun is shining outside this morning, but it felt terribly cold in the bathroom this morning–yes it is a mere 58 degrees outside on this Friday the 13th–which means the sun will make it very hot inside the car as I drive around this afternoon.

I also have a lot of emails to reply to, as well as some serious organizing to get done around here. As I was cleaning last night, I was thinking about writing and reading and think I might be about ready to climb back into the saddle. I do miss both reading and writing, and they definitely spark joy for me, so I should get back to it. I think finding joy in these dark times we are experiencing is vital to our mental health and our survival. During the pandemic, Schitt’s Creek and Ted Lasso filled those roles for me, and now I have Heated Rivalry and The Traitors. I also really love the entire cast of Heated Rivalry, and seeing them blow up into global stars out of nowhere in just a few months has been so delightful to watch–the fact it’s a queer show makes it even more amazing and phenomenal (I suspect, given how the Hollywood formula is to make carbon copies from successes, we are going to see a lot of pale imitators–whether the athletes play hockey or some other sport, they aren’t going to look much past the surface veneer to understand what made the show so successful and the cast so popular).

There has been some amazing queer film and television this decade thus far.

And on that note, I need to get busy and ready for my first meeting of the day. Have a lovely Friday, Constant Reader, and I will be back tomorrow morning.

Aerial view of Queen Hatshepsut’s temple on the west bank of the Nile
  1. I’m still incredibly honored and touched that she left me a nice little gift in her will, and she would have wanted me to indulge myself a bit. ↩︎

Planets of the Universe

Thursday and my last day in the office for the week, as tomorrow is work-at-home Friday. I did feel better yesterday than I had all week, but was off-balance a bit because someone else I know died; it was particularly sad because this was a long-time friend I had to go no-contact with, and there was (is) always a spot in my brain that always thinks you know, maybe someday you’ll reconcile, and I think part of my sadness and being off-balance yesterday is because now that remote possibility is gone. I do mourn the friendship we once had; we had such good times together laughing until my sides actually ached with pain, and of course she will always be a part of my memories of our trip to Italy (one of the highest points of my life). I need to process this more thoroughly, of course, and won’t really have time to devote to it until this weekend.

Obviously, it’s intuitive that the longer you live the more friends and loved ones will die, but that was a very major part of my own obliviousness–losing people I genuinely love was never anything I saw coming or thought would ever happen, which, of course, isn’t particularly smart. Perhaps the obliviousness was a protective thing because I had so much anxiety, and morbid thoughts about the deaths of people I care about would have given me even more anxiety–so I think my brain went into coping mode and developed a subconscious filter as a protective shield of sorts. But seriously, Grim Reaper–could you direct your energies outside of my circle for a while? Please?

The St Patrick’s Day Irish Channel parade is this Saturday, so I will, most likely, run as many errands as I can tomorrow so I don’t have to leave the house and deal with parade nonsense Saturday. I need to go to Costco for sure, pick up the mail, and get some office supplies, pick up a prescription, and I also need to swing by CVS to get some more Claritin-D, the only thing that really works on my sinuses (sinii?) as we are heading into that season again. It’s been hot and muggy all week, with the occasional shower (nothing gully-washing, alas; it did rain for a while yesterday afternoon but when I was coming home after work it was already all over other than the thick, cloying watery air. I made some groceries on the way, too, so tonight after work I can just come straight home, change into my sweats, and do a few chores. I was also very tired yesterday after work, and I feel a bit tired this morning, too. Whether or not I have the energy to do some chores tonight remains to be seen, or I may just sit in my chair, make a cat bed for my sweet Sparky, and watch some more of The Traitors UK. I finished season three last night, so will be delving into season four tonight.

We also had storms overnight that helped me sleep well; I didn’t even know until I saw that everything outside was still wet this morning. We apparently were also in a tornado watch, but…heavy weather always sends me into a deeper sleep. I think I could hear the windows rattling in the wind a few times last night, but immediately went back into the death-like embrace of my deep sleep. I feel rested but a bit tired, typical for a Thursday morning. I don’t think it’ll rain more, but it’s also colder this morning than it has been all week. Maybe we were having some false spring with the heat and humidity? It’s also coming up on stinging caterpillar season. Fortunately, we don’t have any live oaks on the property or our block, so I won’t run the risk of stepping on one. The pollen is also back, and everything seems to be getting a regular dusting of yellow. This “cold” spell–fifties at night, seventies during the day–is more typical of early to mid-March, and this seems to be the case running through the weekend. Maybe–just maybe–this weekend will be the weekend when I get my shit together and get back to reading and writing. Perchance to dream, right?

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines for this fine Thursday morning. Have a lovely day and I’ll check back in with you again tomorrow morning!

Screenshot