The Fate of Ophelia

Tuesday morning, and did you miss me yesterday? LOL, I”m sure no one noticed my blog absence for a single day, especially since the world and country are burning to the ground, with a new, fresh dictatorial outrage on the hourly. I decided when I got up that I was going to ignore everything and work on getting the book finished; I had to have to it to my editor by 4 pm CST and…I got it to her by three. It still needs an epilogue and some fine tuning, but I am choosing to focus on the fact that I turned the fucking book in at long last. I wrote about twenty-five thousand new words since Friday, too–something I wasn’t so sure I could manage anymore, but there you have it: Greg can still binge write. Once that was done, I repaired to my easy chair, read more of The Haunting of Hill House, and watched television with Paul for the rest of the evening before I went to bed. Sparky let me sleep in a bit this morning before turning into a manic, frantic alarm–SPARKY NEEDED FOOD–but it was a relief to get the book turned in, not in the least because that horrible little voice in my head that I hate was taunting me that my book-writing days were behind me. Not the case, hallelujah and pass the ammunition, after all. I am a bit worn down this morning, worn out from the binge-writing, no doubt, but…I am very very happy and content this morning.

It has rained every day since Friday and we are due for more today. My windows are covered in condensation this morning, and while it is light outside, it’s also gray and gloomy. This is excellent weather for reading and binge-writing, apparently; it also helped me since I was writing about a hurricane. Today is going to be an easy day for me. I am on vacation, but not leaving to meet Dad in Alabama until tomorrow in the late afternoon. I am going to get up early to drive the car to the dealership for an oil change and to see if they can do something about that thing dragging under the car (long story, but it doesn’t affect the car’s operation, but I just can’t get to it myself to take it off) before I drive up to Alabama in the afternoon. I am also going to run some errands today, and I need to get the house cleaned up and picked up today, so I am going to try to do that around my reading.

I also wrote a lot yesterday on the laptop. Don’t get excited; I was fighting with Sparky over my desk chair (he sleeps in it while I am not home; but it’s napping in my chair is part of his daily routine, and the only choice is between being distracted and clawed to death, or let him have the chair), and finally said fuck this and settled into my chair, put the keyboard and mouse on my lap desk, and mirrored the screen with the television. I have tried doing this before, but it’s never really worked well for me but desperation and deadlines apparently can make me adapt. Good to know for the future, right? And that also removes the danger of television distraction.

I can’t remember the last time I had a day off with nothing hanging over my head to write. It’s actually kind of lovely, to be honest.

After I hit send on the manuscript yesterday, I did think about what I want to do now that Scotty X is practically finished (edits and copy edits and proofing yet to come), and it’s kind of nice having a vacation and a short trip to follow turning in a manuscript. I don’t know if I am going to have the usual post-book malaise, but it’s probably likely. The malaise has been pretty consistent for the last year or so, I’d say. It’s been a rough decade for one Gregalicious, but…be grateful it wasn’t worse, because it could have been quite easily.

And on that note, I am going to head into the spice mines, such as they are, for the day. I’ll be back tomorrow, but probably won’t be around much again until Monday, when I go back to the office.

Actually Romantic

Sunday morning in the Lost Apartment, and its rainy and gloomy. It started raining yesterday afternoon, and all through the night, which helped me sleep really well, even if my hips are a bit achy this morning I feel pretty good, which is a good thing as I have more work to do on the book today. Obviously, I would rather get my blanket, and curl up in my easy chair with a book and my coffee and be blissfully happy, but there’s work to be done and I must make some serious progress so there’s not as much stress on me tomorrow. I also need to pay some bills this morning, and am actually feeling kind of good. Probably because of the rain. I do love rain.

I spent most of yesterday writing or reading or editing until I was bleary-eyed and needed to quit for the day, which was pleasant. Last night we started watching Monster: The Ed Gein Story, which was incredibly disturbing to watch; so much so that we didn’t watch the second episode. We moved on to Abbott Elementary and Alien: Earth, both of which were rather interesting. I’m not really sure where this show falls in the Alien timeline–I’m not even sure I’ve seen all the movies, to be honest–but it’s interesting enough on its own, and maybe we don’t need to know any of that stuff to be entertained by the show. I did have games on during the day in the living room–but wasn’t watching, really. I do know Georgia beat Kentucky, Alabama beat Vanderbilt, Florida beat Texas (LOL), and Miami beat Florida State. Oh yes, UCLA beat Penn State1 (another LOL). But it just goes to show how little anyone knows before the season begins and any games have been played, which again demonstrates how useless polls are this early in the season–but have to have rankings to drive ratings, right?

Now remind yourself that polls used to determine the national champion at the end of the year and you can see how fucked up college football used to be, when smaller schools without the brand names of USC, Notre Dame, Ohio State, Alabama or Texas had little to no chance of landing in the top five until after the halfway point of the season. It’s called bias, and everyone is biased when things are determined by observation and personal opinion. Now those biases come out when the play-off selections are made. Sad, but true. I can’t complain too much, because LSU is now one of those brands (only Alabama has won more national titles this century), but I said all along after the Clemson brand that LSU was overrated, and I was right. I wanted to be wrong, but…

I also started my reread of The Haunting of Hill House and Shirley Jackson truly was a witch. How did she think of those sentences, these characters, this story? I always find myself in awe every time I reread this book, or whenever I read something new of hers. I’ve not read all the short stories or the novels, but I do want to at some point. I have the Hangsaman audiobook downloaded into my phone; maybe I should listen to that on my drive than what I already downloaded? Something to think over by Wednesday, for sure.

I am still boiling angry at the Kyren Lacy situation–as well as Trey Reed’s murder. When will southern white cops stop brushing aside inconvenient facts and truths when it comes to young Black men? The state cop who framed Lacy should get the death penalty as far as I am concerned, and the Lacy family should sue the state of Louisiana and bankrupt it. It’s the lack of consequence which leads to more incidents of this kind, and I for one have little to no desire to go back to the so-called halcyon past all white supremacists fantasize about.

What is even more sickening to me is wondering whether I would be as angry about this case had the young man not been a former LSU star or not, and I do have to wonder. But I can comfort myself with thinking that I watched him play for three years and was a fan, hence the outrage. I am outraged about Trey Reed, too–but perhaps its my familiarity with Lacy that makes it more visceral to me?

Both young men should be ALIVE.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. I have a lot to get done today and I need to get started. No worries, though; I will be back in the morning with another update!

This is the building where the first American born Princess of Monaco, Alice Heine, was born and raised. She was fascinating, and I don’t understand why she isn’t better known. I’ve always wanted to write about her.
  1. I believe, in my football superstitious mindset, that Penn State’s program was cursed once we all found out how craven and revolting Joe Paterno was in covering up years of sexual abuse of boys there–so they’ll never quite make it to the top of the heap, but will get their hopes up every year only to be cruelly dashed. I also think they wouldn’t have been cursed if their fans hadn’t opposed and rioted over the firing of a pedophile accomplice. Priorities. ↩︎

Only You

And here it is Wednesday again; halfway through the week, but this time I am heading into vacation time and not just the weekend. Huzzah! I feel pretty good this morning; no fatigue or aches detected, so let’s hope that lasts through the day. I was pretty fucking exhausted last night when I got home from the clinic; we weren’t super-super busy, but I was the only person counseling, so it was draining on top of being tired. I did hit a wall in the afternoon after my last patient, so came home and crashed out in my easy chair, intermittently dozing off and waking up again for a couple of hours before Paul got home. We watched the season finale of Platonic (which really is a lot of fun) and the latest Peacemaker, which had some big twists and a special guest star, too. I then went to bed early and slept deeply and well, or so it feels as I sit here swilling coffee and scarfing down coffee cake.

But that feels like a major win at this point.

I did get some work done on the book, but I was so damned tired I didn’t get very far with it before my brain shut down. And it’s October already! Where the hell did September go? This is what comes from wishing it were the weekend already and counting down the days; time goes by much faster, doesn’t it? I guess that’s what Mom meant by “wishing your life away,” wasn’t it? But I didn’t finish The Hunting Wives and it’s already Halloween Horror Month, so I am going to begin my reread of The Haunting of Hill House tonight. I also downloaded Clown in a Cornfield 2: Frendo Lives to listen to in the car while driving this weekend, and am taking a couple of books with me to read before bed every night in Alabama next weekend. I should read horror more throughout the year, of course, but the inability to focus and read something as quickly as I used to really bugs me. I also want to watch some new-to-me horror films, and probably rewatch some, like Halloween (always seasonally appropriate for October) and The Haunting–I may even rewatch Sinners so I can pick up on more things I missed the first time through.

I also need to finish writing this book so I can write some newsletters. It’s been a very hot minute; the last one was my Katrina anniversary essay, and that was now over a month ago. But Bouchercon exhausted me, and it took me a while to get over that issue, only to have the reaction to my vaccine from this past weekend. It feels almost like I spent all of September fatigued and tired. But I also learned how to give myself my bi-monthly injection this month, so that’s a win, and I also reconnected with my writing brain, which was a HUGE win. That has also improved my mood and outlook dramatically; I hate when I fear that the writing part of my brain has dried up or atrophied. I doubt that I will ever get to be as prolific as I used to be, and not certain that I would even want that, to be honest–at least not while I still am working full time. I just don’t have the energy or the bandwidth to produce between three and five books in a year anymore…or the desire. I know I have a lot of book and story ideas I may never get around to writing, but whereas that thought used to fill me with panic…I’ve resigned myself to that reality and no longer get anxious about that inevitable truth.

Of course, that could be a side effect of the anxiety medication, too. I did also worry that the medication had sapped my will to write…but that is clearly not the case.

I have lots of things to get done around the office this morning, too…but I don’t think the clinic is very busy today, and it’s not just me this morning. I need to do some chores tonight in addition to writing–I was too tired last night and the kitchen is a disaster area, literally, again–but am feeling good about things and getting back on top of everything.

And on that note, I am going to get cleaned up and head into the spice mines. Have a great Wednesday, Constant Reader, and I’ll say hello again tomorrow morning.

Jacob Elordi in Saltburn, looking like a snack despite the poor choice in reading materials.

Love Story

And here we are on Monday morning yet again, Constant Reader. I still feel fatigued this morning, which is not a good thing. My hips and legs are aching this morning, but at least it’s better than yesterday, when standing up and walking was actually super-painful. It’s not that bad this morning so far, but it’s going to make for a super long and awful day at work. I should probably stay home and try to rest, but I don’t have enough sick time to take an entire day off. Ah, well. I took next week off to go visit family, but that was canceled and I am now only going to Alabama for that weekend (Mom’s birthday), so all I have to do is make it through this week and then I can get some rest. The fatigue shouldn’t last much longer, should it? I am not fond of this new reality, in all honesty, but next week’s staycation will be nice. It’s been a long time since I’ve been home so long without having had surgery or being horribly sick. I hope to get a lot of reading, cleaning and some writing done that week, too. We’ll see how it all turns out, I suppose.

Yesterday was the peak of the reaction to the vaccine (I do not regret getting it, so miss me with anti-vax bullshit; reminder that I block for idiocy about public health), but I still am a bit worn out this morning. Glad it’s not as bad as yesterday, but it’s still not great. I was able to get some things done yesterday while Paul was at the office–but not as much as I would have wanted to as I was so fucking fatigued. Heavy heaving sigh. Clearly I need to get future COVID vaccinations late on Thursdays so I can recover from the fatigue reaction. This year’s flu shot about a month ago didn’t phase me in the least, whereas it usually makes me feverish for a day or so. Go figure. I am hoping it will wear off throughout today.

The Saints lost again to drop to 0-4…and haven’t been really competitive since their “moment of silence” for a Nazi. What was that phrase? “Not woke, go broke”? I also saw that Harrison Butker, the asshole kicker for the Chiefs, has now missed a field goal in every game this season…maybe he should take his tongue out of Josh Hawley’s butthole and focus on, I don’t know, kicking? It sure would suck for him to get fired and have to be a stay-at-home Dad, wouldn’t it? It’s almost like he cursed the team, isn’t it?

The good news is the book isn’t one tenth as terrible as I originally thought it was, so huzzah for that, right? I will definitely be diving back into it when I get home from the office today, and after I make a small grocery run on the way. I am hoping to get it all done before the staycation, so I can relax and get things done around the house before I leave for Alabama next week.

Not much to report this morning, is there? Maybe I should take the hint and head into the spice mines…see you tomorrow morning!

Hero

Work at home Friday! Man, I was tired yesterday when I got off work–not the fatigue, thank God, just a little burned out. I had dinner with a friend at Acamaya in the Bywater (highly recommend) and then came home to just collapse into my easy chair for the evening with Sparky the Needy (Paul did stay at the office late, so li’l Sparkster was home alone much longer than he usually is, so yes, he has abandonment issues) and catch up on the news. I didn’t work on the book because I was very tired, but I only have to work a few hours this morning and then I get to run a couple of errands before diving headfirst into the book. The house is also a horrible mess…too tired last night to do anything. I probably wasn’t great company at dinner, because I really did hit a wall, and this morning my hips and legs ache. I’m beginning to think I can’t even have a solitary cocktail anymore; I had one with dinner last night and this morning I feel like I’ve been through the wringer. No hangover–it was one drink, after all, a margarita–but the fatigue is here in a very big way. And the house is a mess, mess, mess.

Heavy heaving sigh.

But the coffee and breakfast (yay, caffeine and blood sugar spike!) are starting to kick in and my body is warming/waking up and so is my mind. Huzzah! It also looks like a bright, sunshine day outside; low humidity and sunny and warm, of course.

When Paul got home we watched this week’s South Park, which was hilarious in its ruthless political satire. I’m not sure why or when we stopped watching South Park regularly; probably in the times after Hurricane Katrina, and while I am enjoying watching again–I am not at the point where I would want to go back and watch the YEARS I’ve not seen. I fell asleep in my chair at some point, waking up to go to bed around eleven thirty. I did sleep well last night, so I am not sure where this fatigue this morning is coming from…is it because of the work week, was it the drink I had with dinner, or was it both? I feel it much more this Friday than I did last Friday, so I am going to have to go with the cocktail. I don’t mind giving up alcohol completely; I was already down to the point where I only had alcohol when having dinner with friends, usually even then only white wine as a rule…so it’s not like I’m giving up something I do all the time and enjoy. And let’s face it; I started drinking alcohol when I was sixteen–so yeah, giving it up after almost fifty years of it isn’t really that big of a deal.

There are also a lot of great football games tomorrow, so after I get my writing work done for the day I am going to probably just watch games while cleaning or reading. LSU plays at 2:30, and it’s at Mississippi; I don’t think LSU has won up in Oxford since 2019, but I could be mistaken. I know LSU lost the last time in Oxford for sure–that was that insane game than ended up something like 59-54 or something like that, with Jayden Daniels playing unbelievably well; if we’d only had a defense that year we could have gone all the way, methinks. And of course Alabama-Georgia is tomorrow, too; Auburn is at Texas A&M, and I’ve not really looked at much more than that other than Notre Dame at Arkansas (GO HOGS!). So, today I am going to do data entry, have an on-line team meeting, and then I am going to run my errands before coming home to get the house back under control and write, write, write and edit, edit, edit.

And now, I am going to go get another cup of coffee before getting to work on the laundry and opening my data entry website. Have a lovely Friday, Constant Reader, and I will be back tomorrow morning. See you then!

I will always love Joe Burrow, and will always be grateful for that 2019 LSU championship team. I am also super-grateful that I got to see them play twice in person.

Abraham, Martin and John

Wednesday and Pay-the-Bills Day has rolled around for the first time in September. I didn’t sleep all that great, but don’t feel groggy at all this morning. However, if I had to I could easily go back to bed and fall asleep all over again. I am slowly starting to lift myself out of the abyss and pull my life back together. Yesterday was a pretty good day, actually. I felt great all day, not tired at all, and was able to get a lot done at the office. I wasn’t even tired when I got home after work, either! Huzzah and hurray! I spent some time getting caught up on the news when I got home, and then read for a while before Paul got home and I went to bed. I don’t know if this is all because of the injection on Monday, but whatever caused it, I am delighted and thrilled it happened. I suspect I’ll be a bit more tired this evening than I was yesterday, but I will happily take it, you know? The fatigue over the weekend was so intense and brutal–I’ve never been so tired it hurt, you know?–and I hope I never experience that again.

I am a bit tired this morning (mostly because of restless sleep and waking up several times during the night), but it’s not that horrible fatigue, which I fucking despise. I feel a little off, but nothing terrible that I can’t deal with, but no promises for this afternoon, you know? I was thinking about ordering groceries to be delivered this evening, but am not sure I shouldn’t just wait until Saturday. I am going to barbecue for the LSU-Florida game–burgers and cheese dogs, the regular tailgating action–and there are an awful lot of great games Saturday–Georgia-Tennessee, Wisconsin-Alabama, and two other games at the same time as LSU, Vanderbilt-South Carolina and Texas A&M-Notre Dame. I do love football season, even as it takes away from my productivity.

At least I enjoy cleaning while the games are on.

The world and country continue to burn to the ground, and social media continues to be filled with bots, grifters, rage baiters, and sad, broken people lashing out in a pathetic attempt to somehow feel better about themselves as American mediocrities and failures. I have very little hope for the future of this country, now that the small-minded hateful bigots who don’t understand the first thing about freedom and liberty are in control. It’s also interesting to see how many Americans are into the whole fascism thing. Sinclair Lewis was very prescient with It Can’t Happen Here, wasn’t he? I also saw some insane shit-posting about To Kill a Mockingbird being racist1, but not for the reasons most people do. No, this empty-minded moron was bitching about the book being racist because it showed an all-white jury wrongfully convicting a Black man for a crime they knew he didn’t commit thus making white people look bad.

Excuse the fuck out of me?

As I replied, you’re right–it would have never gotten to trial. He would have been lynched the same night he was accused.

Because that was how it was done in Alabama in the 1930s, and to suggest anything else is a blatant lie.

I also love the MAGA bitch from Georgia who got the proposed Hyundai plant shut down completely, dealing a harsh blow to her own state’s economy and that of the district she is running to represent. If this were an episode of Law & Order, her body would be found and they’d work their way back around to her ignorance and stupidity. I am so tired of the rampant stupidity as the American empire crumbles and dies…this is going to be one of those times future history students will look back on and think but why were they so stupid? Couldn’t they SEE?

I was once that child reading history.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely, lovely day, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back tomorrow.

Artist’s rendering of the Temple at Edfu, Egypt
  1. My feelings about To Kill a Mockingbird are very conflicted, as I don’t see it as a great American novel about race the way most white people see it, and that may become an essay at some point. ↩︎

Galveston

I always wanted to write a romantic suspense novel, a la Phyllis A. Whitney’s, set in Galveston where some of the mystery dates back to the Great Hurricane of 1900. It seemed like the perfect setting for one of her novels–she was very much a master of place and wanted her readers to get a very strong sense of where the books were set–and who knows? Maybe someday I will. Maybe someday I’ll take a week and spent it on the island doing research and getting a sense of the place.

Stranger things have happened, after all.

Good morning on this fine Labor Day, and I am up early because Sparky was incredibly hungry and hadn’t been fed in forever (per him) but I don’t mind being up early. I have things to do today and I’ve been fatigued all weekend and unable to do much of anything. I’m not entirely sure how this weekend slipped so completely through my fingers the way it did, but that’s fine. I must have needed the rest. Yesterday started out fine but by the time the afternoon rolled around I was fatigued and around two I finally gave up on getting much done and plopped down in my chair to watch the South Carolina/Virginia Tech and Miami/Notre Dame games (both teams I wanted to win, did. Huzzah!). We did take some time off from the Miami game to finish watching Hostage, which was quite excellent, before switching back to the game. I feel asleep and went to bed before it was over, so naturally I checked the score first thing this morning over my coffee. It was an interesting weekend of college football to get the season started. This week’s rankings will be interesting, but I am also of the mindset that rankings this early in the season–before we know how good anyone is–are pointless and predicated on reputation and how well they did last year…but that’s also a fallacy nowadays. Florida State was 2-10 last year; who would have ever thought they would beat ALABAMA this year?

It may not be a good season for Alabama fans, who are the most impatient in the world.

I also spent some time yesterday reading The Hunting Wives, which is very different thus far than the television show–but in a good way, which is like enjoying the same story twice. If you like the story, you should enjoy it, right? The television show reminded me of glossy melodramatic soaps from the 1980s, Knots Landing and Dallas and Lace and others of a similar tone, and was incredibly fun with lots of twists and turns. The book is different. It’s glossy the way the show is, but there’s also a raw kernel of honesty/unreliability in the POV character that is very different from the show. I did some writing work–mostly thinking some things through and taking notes–but not much and I’ll need to do more today.

I need to make a to-do list for today only and see how it all works out. I should also update the weekly one I currently am working on. At least I am up early, right? I am not sure how busy we’ll be in the office this week, but I only have two days in the office this week anyway. Paul has his trainer this afternoon, and so will be out of the house most of the day after sleeping in, so I’ll have some focus time for writing today.

I love my new phone, by the way, but need to stop playing with it all the time.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Labor Day, Constant Reader, and I will be back in the morning again.

Thunder Island

TIGERS WIN!!!

It’s been a very hot minute since LSU won a season opener (it was Joe Burrow’s senior season, for the record), AND it was over a Top 5 team AND it was on the road AND it was Clemson and their faux Death Valley. GEAUX TIGERS! It was a nerve-wracking game, and because the score was so close, I was worried the Season Opener Jinx would strike. When was the last time the LSU defense won the game? Last night was the first time since 2019 where I was impressed by the defense, and they were amazing. Like Tiger teams of old. It was an excellent capper to an interesting day of football that saw both Texas and Alabama lose. Of course, now I am going to get my hopes up for the season, but I am trying to be cautiously optimistic. Both Texas and Alabama looked terrible, frankly, and it was kind of a shock. I wouldn’t want to be the Alabama coach this morning…but Alabama always has down years after a legendary coach retires after rebuilding the program from mediocre to the heights of college football again. It happened when Bear Bryant retired, after all. No one has ever come into Alabama when they’re at the pinnacle and keeps them there.

And it could have just been a hiccup for both Texas and Alabama, you never know. (I said to Paul during the second half of Alabama’s game last night, “The alumni group chat is probably lit right now raising the money to buy DeBoer out.”) But it’s very nice to have a season opening win. It’s been so long…

Tulane also thumped Northwestern; they’re calling it the “Beatdown in Uptown” here locally, which I find amusing.

Yesterday I went uptown to the AT&T store on Magazine (in the same strip mall where I used to do my laundry whenever I don’t have a working washer or dryer) and finally got the phone situation squared away, which was great. I made a small bit of groceries, and went by the post office, too, before coming home to do some light cleaning while watching the football games. I was feeling pretty fatigued yesterday–oh, the aching of my tired legs–so didn’t think I’d get much of anything done and was right for the most part. I think I needed that do-nothing rest day, in all honesty. I also realized, in the 36 hours or so I was without a phone, that I’m horribly addicted to mine. Yesterday during the games I was scrolling endlessly through the damned thing until I finally made myself put the damned thing down. I do not like being addicted to screens or the Internet, frankly. I think less screen time will be a goal for 2026.

Today, Paul has his trainer and will be gone most of the afternoon (he always does cardio for a couple of hours after) so I should be able to get some things done today. It’s also nice that I have tomorrow off as well (thank you, three day weekend!). I should be able to get some things done that I want and/or need to get done by the time I have to return to the office Tuesday morning. I’m going to do some more reading this morning with the rest of my morning coffee before I get cleaned up and spring forth into another day. The kitchen looks much better than it did Friday, and hopefully will look even better by the time I go to bed this evening. I also have some filing to do, both from around my workspace and my digital files as well, which is always something mindless to do but it’s amazing how much time it kills.

I was also thinking a lot yesterday about books, short stories, and essays I am working on, which is always a good thing. I didn’t take many notes, just let my mind wander through the fertile fields of my creativity. I need to get this fatigue shit under control so I can do more work…or at least figure out a workaround so I can get things done anyway. I always think I’m being lazy, you know? But when you’re too fatigued to focus…well, that’s rarely if ever a good thing, you know?

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Sunday, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back on the morrow.

When I’m Sixty-four

For the first time in decades, I am not taking my birthday off.

That’s why I am up at this ungodly hour, swilling down coffee and consuming coffee cake like it’s going out of style. I need to conserve my PTO, because I am going to the panhandle (barring unforeseen circumstances) for a week with my dad in October after a weekend in Alabama for Dad’s and Mom’s birthdays. I also have to take some time off during Bouchercon–there’s no way I can work all day and then host Noir at the Bar that Thursday, and probably not going to be able to do much work that Friday, either. I think I’ve managed to get it all planned out so that I will have just enough vacation time left to do the family thing in October, and then let things start building back up again for the new year. It’s going to be weird going to work on my birthday–I generally take the day off because I don’t need or want the attention that comes with it–but I will survive, I am sure.

Sixty. Four.

Christ on the cross.

I never planned for my future because I never thought I would have one. When I was a kid, I was certain I wasn’t going to have much of an adult life; I always had nightmares about not only dying but how I would die; either in a car accident, or a fall from a high place. This is why I am always, to this day, a little bit tense when I’m in a car and a LOT tense when I am the passenger. In my early twenties, I thought I was going to seroconvert and die from AIDS–why would I ever think that I would survive that pandemic? The next thing I knew I had somehow made it to fifty, then sixty–and now I am sixty-four, with another milestone birthday just a year in my future, should I make it till then. I am woefully unprepared for retirement, so most likely will continue to work for another few years to at least try to get my debt down to a manageable place. Ha ha ha ha, I’m so adorable, aren’t I?

I guess the ship has sailed on me dying young, hasn’t it?

But it’s been a pretty good life thus far, I have to say. I’ve written and published a shit ton of work, which can never be taken away from me, and neither can the awards I’ve either won or made the shortlist for…how many authors never make a shortlist of any kind? But the childhood conditioning that celebrating myself and things I’ve accomplished is a hubristic tempting of fate; how many stories and myths and fables are there about hubristic humans who anger a god? Like I often say, I live in the city I love with the man I love doing work that I love. All of my dreams came true, no matter what happens in the future.

My sixties haven’t been easy on me, and I don’t have the energy I used to have so recovery from physical, emotional, and professional blows doesn’t happen as fast as it used to; but I’m still pretty pleased and happy with my life. I try not to worry about future outcomes that I can’t control, and can only prepare for the things I can. If my thirties were about getting myself mentally healthy so I could have the life I wanted, and the forties were about getting started in my career and the fifties were about getting further along and getting better as a writer, my sixties have been a time of revisiting and rethinking my past, finally getting to understand myself and where a lot of my neuroses stem from. The anxiety medication has helped me enormously in that regard, too. Realizing how emotionally crippling my anxiety was when I was a minor also has enabled me to remember, and those memories aren’t painful anymore because so much of my misery was directly attributable to said anxiety.

So now I am sixty-four. I am older than my grandparents were throughout my childhood, which is also a staggering realization. It’s also weird to think that I was born sixteen years after the end of World War II, the country was sinking into the depths of the Cold War, and President Kennedy hadn’t even been in office for a full year yet. I never imagined what it would be like to be this age, mainly because I, as stated earlier, never thought I would live this long. I’m trying not to be that old person–you know, “When I was your age” or “We used to call it” and that sort of thing, because no one really wants to hear it. I’ve seen a lot in my life, witnessed all kinds of events (the Challenger explosion, 9/11, Watergate hearings, on and on), and lived through all kinds of things. I’ve lived in Alabama, Chicago, Kansas, California, Houston, Tampa, Minneapolis, and New Orleans. I went to two high schools in different states, and two colleges in different states. I went to Italy for a week over ten years ago. I’ve had so many jobs, but being a writer/sexual health counselor were the only things that took with me.

Life’s been good to me so far.

After work, I am going to head home and just hang out with Sparky. If I had to hazard a guess, Paul will probably get us Hoshun for dinner tonight. But I got my vacuum cleaner last week, and that’s all I really cared about.

Happy birthday to me! And may my next year be a lovely one!

The only picture of my face as a baby, my first day home from the hospital.

Spirit in the Sky

I have written another Alabama story! It will be in the Crippen & Landru anthology Double Crossing Van Dine, which you can preorder right here. My story is called “The Spirit Tree,” which was a lot of fun to write, and am very excited that the anthology will release later this month/early September. I again got an editing credit (along with Donna Andrews and Art Taylor, both of whom do a lot more work than I do on these books), and I do absolutely love that cover.

Isn’t this a great cover?

Turn right on Simmons Road and in a half mile, your destination will be on the right.

Tom Forrester slowed his official State Bureau of Investigation SUV and glanced in the rearview mirror. Nothing behind him but blacktop state highway back to the S curve he’d just negotiated. He flipped on the turn signal and made the turn onto a back road. It stretched out before him, a narrow expanse of red dirt and gravel down to the bottom of a hollow and climbing back up the other side. He was getting a headache and wished again he’d asked for someone to come with him. He’d never been to Corinth County before, hadn’t even driven through it. Yes, it was in his district, but it was remote. At least an hour to the nearest interstate. Outsiders had to want to come to Corinth County to get there.

It amazed him that there were still these random remote counties all over the deep South, seemingly untouched by the outside world.

But the county seat, for all its population of about three thousand, had a Wal-Mart and a McDonalds, and almost every house or trailer he’d seen from the road had a satellite dish either in the yard or affixed to the building. Was anything truly remote anymore?

The road wasn’t wide enough for two cars, so he hoped he didn’t meet anyone coming from the other direction. A cloud of red dust followed closely behind the vehicle. At the bottom of the hollow there was a small stream flowing through corrugated iron beneath the pitiful road. And he noticed a rusty barbed wire fence running along the front of the pine forest on the left side, caught a glimpse of a rusted tin roof surrounded by overgrowth.

It looked…familiar.

Not a bad start, right?

The anthology also has an impressive table of contents:

You can find Van Dine’s commandments (there are twenty) here, if you want to look them up.

Mine was: The problem of the crime must be solved by strictly naturalistic means. Such methods for learning the truth as slate-writing, ouija-boards, mind-reading, spiritualistic séances, crystal-gazing, and the like, are taboo. A reader has a chance when matching his wits with a rationalistic detective, but if he must compete with the world of spirits and go chasing about the fourth dimension of metaphysics, he is defeated ab initio.

So, yes, like I did in the last anthology of this nature that I was in, chose supernatural/occult as my way of breaking said rule. I’ve done this before, of course, in novels; two subgenres I prefer are crime and horror–and I do love crossing/blurring the lines between the two of them.

Several years ago (it may have been last year; my grasp of time isn’t the best anymore) I read a book called Salvation on Sand Mountain, about snake-handlers in north Alabama (I’d also watched a documentary called Alabama Rattlesnake) which reminded me of a bit of country magic. When I was a little boy–a very little boy–I remember visiting someone in Alabama–and there was a small tree beside the front porch, with bottles slipped over the ends and catching the sun in colorful flashes and making tinkling sounds when the wind blew the branches together. I asked, and was told it was a ‘spirit tree,’–the sound of the bottles kept evil spirits and ghosts out of the house. I’d forgotten about it until I read it in the book, and I remembered it all very clearly.

So, I sat down and wrote an opening scene, in which a state investigator is going to a crime scene, and when he gets there, there’s a spirit tree beside the porch. I had no idea what to do with the story–how to finish it, who was murdered and why, etc.–and it went into the files. When I was asked for a story (and a by-line credit) for this anthology, I looked for the supernatural rule, claimed it, and pulled out “The Spirit Tree.”

Yes, it’s another Corinth County story, like Bury Me in Shadows and “Smalltown Boy” and “The Ditch,” not connected to the others by anything other than location, really, but it’s location is pretty much everything!

Hope you enjoy it–and the rest of the contributors are exceptional writers, so I know you’ll enjoy theirs, too! What are you waiting for? PRE ORDERS ARE ALWAYS WELCOMED!