Take a Chance With Me

Well, here we are on Monday morning and I am getting my second infusion today, which means driving out to Clearview on I-10 and spending two hours in a heated massage chair as I get this stuff infused into my blood stream before heading to the office. I am already a bit groggy and sleepy/tired this morning, so who knows how I am going to feel once I am finished? I got nothing done yesterday–Paul came downstairs and turned on Wimbledon, which I then got sucked into watching, and soon enough I was no longer in the mood to get much of anything done. The chair is like a black hole sucking me in…and of course, Sparky turned my lap into a bed for most of the day as I watched the MAGA meltdown and civil war raging across all news networks and all political influencers. What can I say? I enjoyed a lot of cruel laughs at their expense (odds they’ll begin to think he’s lying about other things? Too soon to tell) last night–but while everyone not in the MAGA bubble is very well aware of the Trump/Epstein connection and have been for a very long time…I’m beginning to think they had no idea? And thought of course if your only source for news coverage is Fox or Newsmax–which would never do anything to connect Dear Leader with convicted sex trafficking pedophile–you might not have known.

Which could finally explain the shock and horror– and the outright rejection of the party line.

Could this be the tipping point? There was an awful lot of anger from the right over the weekend; even Hitler Mini-me Nick Fuentes pronounced MAGA dead and “good riddance.” Did I miss a falling out between that POS and MAGA?

And for the record, Pam Bondi has always been trash.

We did finish watching Too Much last night, and kudos to both Megan Stalter and Will Sharpe for inhabiting the main characters and their relationship. They really had great chemistry together, and Sharpe is both charismatic and handsome. He looked familiar, and I think it’s because when he was on season 2 of The White Lotus (which also got him an Emmy nomination) all the gay sites were posting shots of him from the show in his underwear, so he was kind of everywhere but not in a way that would stick in my mind (I looked him up, and once I saw the pictures from The White Lotus I knew where I knew him from). We really enjoyed the show and the romance between their characters. I don’t know if there will be a second season or not; the first season kind of definitively ended, but I can also see how they could spring a second season out of that ending.

I did do some more filing and cleaning around here yesterday, and ordered some groceries for delivery. I have to stop again on my way home from the office to get a couple of things I couldn’t order, but based on my bloodwork from the other day I probably should cut ice cream and some other high-sugar foods out of my life again. I’ve reached the weight I’d like to stay at (actually, I’m a bit heavier than my preference), so it’s time to start eating in a more healthy manner again.

I’m taking Megan Abbott’s new one with me to read during the two hours of the infusion, primarily to keep me off my phone, and get back into the swing of reading. Tonight I am going to put my editing hat back on and start tearing through all the things I need to get written by the end of the month. I’m not really sure what we are going to watch next, but I know I want to see the new Taron Edgerton show on Apple Plus; I’m a fan, what can I say? But we may have to wait until it finishes airing to stream it all at once.

And on that note, I am heading on out there. Have a lovely Monday, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back tomorrow morning with a report about whether or not the infusion made me tired again.

While My Heart is Still Beating

Sunday morning and my headache is back. Paul had Aleve on hand (I was out) and that made the headache and stiff neck go away yesterday; I will definitely be taking some more in a moment as well as having some in the groceries I am having delivered later on today. Yesterday was another lazy day in which I did very little, as I spent yesterday afternoon’s massive thunderstorm getting caught up on the Epstein files scandal. I’m kind of impressed that this is what it took to turn MAGA–and they aren’t all completely turned, either; they are roasting Pam Bondi (who has been notorious garbage since her service as Attorney General of Florida–the multi-divorced hypocrite fought same-sex marriage as much as she could with her limited brain) and many are still focusing their rage on her rather than her boss–does anyone believe Bondi wouldn’t release it all if her foul lord and master told her to? Therefore, it stands to reason that the monster is the one telling her not to; and why would that be? I can absolutely believe the Biden administration did not release it all–not to protect Democrats, but to avoid the accusations of political partisanship that would have rung out from Mar-a-Lago, Fox, and Newsmax like a clarion bell.

I mean, that does sound like the way the Democratic Party thinks and operates, doesn’t it? Putting country (and in some cases, donors–looking at you, Fetterman) first and ahead of party is very much a Democratic thing, which could be why they lose so much. If Biden believed releasing the information wouldn’t be good for the country, he wouldn’t release it, period. (Not to going to lie, the Democratic Party has disappointed me time and again throughout my life–but I keep voting for them because at least they finally came around on queer rights. And no, #notallDemocrats, but at least they aren’t trying to take our rights away actively, the way MAGA is.

By the time the thunderstorms passed, I was worn out emotionally from the rollercoaster of getting caught up on the news, and not really in the mood to do much of anything. I spent the rest of the evening researching history for current projects, and then we watched more of Too Much. I have to say I am really impressed with Megan Stalter’s performance as the main character; it’s a completely different character than she plays on Hacks, and she really is convincing. The last episode we watched, which explores the relationship she had that ended badly, and is why she moved to London, was heartbreaking, and that was entirely due to her performance.

I didn’t even read anything yesterday. I never unloaded the dishwasher, we didn’t go to Costco, we didn’t go see Superman (which is getting RAVE reviews everywhere, which makes me happy as I have always been a Superman stan), and nothing much is different about the house from yesterday morning. Sigh. I was thinking about making a grocery run, but think I may just have stuff delivered and pick up other stuff on the way home tomorrow. I also have an infusion tomorrow morning (Part II) so I get to sleep a little later in the morning, too. I’m hoping I won’t be as dog-tired and fatigued as I was after the first one, but…it remains to be seen. I do wonder if the lackadaisical way I felt all last week, and the low energy, was from not taking the steroid anymore. I may ask about that tomorrow at the infusion center.

Other than the headache, though, I feel pretty good this morning. Once I finish this I am going to run upstairs and take some Aleve to knock out this headache, and then I am going to make a grocery list for ordering. I am going to do my chores this morning–no need to get caught up on the news, since I did so much of that shit yesterday–and then I am going to try to get the kitchen and living room under some kind of control, some semblance of order before reading and writing. The Wimbledon men’s final is this morning, but I don’t think I’ll turn that on–as it is too easy to get sucked into the television and then sit there for the rest of the day; not going to lie, Sparky used me as a bed while I watched the news yesterday and I never want to disturb him when he’s being a love bug. He’s so sweet and adorable when he’s affectionate like that–which is why I wound up doing nothing but bonding with my cat.

And I know if I sit in my chair again, he’ll crawl up into my lap and go to sleep today, too.

My test results from Friday are back, and all seem to be okay as best as I can tell. The X-ray showed nothing wrong with my hip, but there’s a reason why my left thigh feels numb, right? We just have to figure out what is causing it. It’s not like it’s life-threatening or anything–but…I am immunocompromised now, and I am not entirely sure what all that means, or how it will affect me physically. I guess I should find out at some point, right?

And on that note, I am going to head upstairs and grab some Aleve. I am also hungry, so am going to have to make something else to eat this morning….nice that my appetite, absent for the last few days, is back again. Have a lovely Sunday, sorry about the political chatter, and I will be back tomorrow morning or even perhaps later!

The Martyrdom of St. Denis

Here and Now

Saturday morning and the demon cat allowed me to sleep in until way past eight, almost nine, even. Madness! I feel rested but slightly mentally foggy. Yesterday turned out to also be a low energy day. I got my work-at-home duties completed, but we had an incredible thunderstorm all afternoon with tons of rain, and that kind of zonked me out a bit. Paul was also exhausted yesterday, so there was no Costco run to be had yesterday. I don’t know if that means we’re going today, or if we’re going to see Superman today, either. I hope so, but I could also be easily convinced to do nothing today, too. The sun is out this morning, and I think we may be done with rain for a few days–I haven’t checked the weather forecast yet.

I did manage some chores yesterday–I got all the bedding washed and dried, as well as two loads of laundry, and I did clean out the kitchen sink, so the dishwasher needs to be unloaded this morning1. I was thinking about getting the car washed and making a minor grocery run this morning–Fresh Market, so I can grill burgers later today–but that will also depend on whether we are doing anything today. I did look it up yesterday, and Superman is playing at the Prytania Theater on Prytania AND the Prytania at Canal Place theaters, so we don’t have to go to Harahan to see the movie; Harahan’s AMC does not have convenient times for us today. I don’t know if he has his trainer today, either–which will make a difference on what we do, if anything. I do love that Superman is getting great reviews (except, of course, for the traitors of MAGA, who need a safe space because the movie clearly triggered their treasonous asses). But I am waking up now and my mind is clearing, which is nice. My sinuses are behaving this morning, too, which lets me know it’s perhaps not as humid as it’s been.

We started watching the new Megan Stalter show on Netflix yesterday. I’ve enjoyed Stalter since she used to post comedy reels on Instagram, and love her on Hacks. Too Much is clever, and a great showcase for Stalter’s talents. Her love interest is played by the gorgeous Will Sharpe, and they have a lovely chemistry together. There were a couple of scenes in the first episode where I thought, “Is her sister being played by Lena Dunham?” But she looked so different from the last time I saw her I wasn’t sure….then I saw her name in the credits as creator and executive producer, and I was thus torn. Do we continue watching something we enjoy and supporting Stalter and Sharpe, or do we abandon the show because of a problematic person behind the scenes? I’ve decided we should keep watching. I never watched Girls, and most of what I know about Dunham is stuff I’ve read about what a problem she is. It’s not like she’s on the Epstein client list…which apparently doesn’t exist.

Hmmm….who’ve been the primary drivers about taking the Epstein list public? Oh, that’s right, the President and his foul base…so I am enjoying watching this karmic repayment as this entire thing blows up in their fucking faces, since they are now on record as protecting pedophiles. I wonder how that bitch Libs of TikTok is rationalizing this all in her head this morning? (One of my greatest joys in leaving Twitter last summer is how little I hear about TEMU Anita Bryant now.) I am really enjoying all the awful MAGA trash realizing that they’ve been conned and lied to all this time…to which I say, “hey, if he lied about this, doesn’t that throw everything he says into doubt?” I also love the “out damned spot” moments of “I didn’t vote for this!” so many of them are having.

But you did vote for this. He lied about everything and you believed him.

Sorry, MAGA, you can’t wash your hands like Pilate and walk away. You made this mess, so you need to roll up your goddamned sleeves and get to work fixing it.

You can start by apologizing to the rest of the country.

And on that note, I am going to head into the spice mines, methinks. I slept later than I’d intended, so am a bit behind on getting things done around here. It’s almost time for the Wimbledon women’s final, which I’ll probably have on while I do stuff. I may come back for an entry later; it may wind up waiting until tomorrow. Who knows? But I hope you have a lovely Saturday, Constant Reader!

  1. See? I did get some things done yesterday. I also organized and filed. ↩︎

Rock and Roll Suspension

Monday morning after the holiday weekend, and I must return to the office today. I am not going to beat myself up over not getting as much done as I would have liked. I did get some writing work (editing, at any rate) done yesterday; we didn’t go to the movie again because we started watching Wimbledon and there was a massive thunderstorm we didn’t want to go out in. It pretty much rained for most of the day, which was a lot of fun for my sinuses, as i am sure you can imagine, Constant Reader. After the tennis we started watching We Were Liars, which I read years ago (and don’t remember much of anything about), and we are enjoying it thus far. I read a very little bit during Wimbledon, not starting the new Megan Abbott out of a fear I wouldn’t want to put it down once I’d started. I slept really well last night, too–I slept well all weekend, actually, which was lovely–so hopefully I’ll feel rested all day and can get a lot done at the office. I’ll have to run some errands on the way home, but that’s okay; there are worse things, after all.

There’s always worse things.

I am officially off the steroid treatment as of today, and my next infusion is next Monday morning. I don’t know if round 2 will make me as tired as round 1 did, so we’ll have to see and I’ll have to get things done before next Monday just in case the fatigue returns. Will the lack of a testosterone pill make a difference in how this weeks goes? Perhaps, perhaps not. I was down to a quarter of a pill per day, anyway, so probably no change in anything, really.

I have a headache this morning, probably due to thunderstorms and sinuses, which is really annoying. It’s going to rain again all afternoon and into the evening, which should be lots of fun. But despite all these hurdles I am determined to have a good, productive day. I have a gazillion emails to answer, for one, and I need to get my checkbook balanced and make sure the bills were all paid and all of that fun stuff, too. I also have to figure out what I do owe on medical bills and what I don’t; you have to love deductibles, don’t you, and a health insurance company that makes it very hard to figure this shit out? Heavy heaving sigh. I also have to get a hip X-ray done, and bloodwork again this week. Lord. I guess the smart thing to do would be to get the bloodwork done first thing Friday morning, then walk over to Touro for the hip X-ray. Remember how I was dizzy and kept losing my balance when I was sick? One time I lost my balance going out to get a delivery at the front gate and fell, hip first, into the fence. My leg had felt bruised after that, and I only recently realized it a) still felt bruised; b) it couldn’t still be bruised and c) it’s actually numb. My doctor thinks I may have pinched a nerve when I fell, hence the X-ray. Yay.

Getting old is fine for the most part, but the physical decay absolutely sucks.

As I was finish reading Summerhouse (which I really enjoyed), shortly after finishing Laura Lippman’s Murder Takes a Vacation, it occurred to me that maybe I should try writing about older characters (since I’m now older myself and my Imposter Syndrome–which rarely needs any help to kick into gear–makes me question my ability to write about people younger than myself anymore); but what would I say? For me, being older has meant being more delicate physically, obviously; aches and pains and getting tired more easily–but again, I am not sure if that’s part of getting older or just a by-product of all the illnesses, injuries and medical treatments I’ve needed since 2020. It could be interesting, though, and I could potentially make it really funny, too. The last thing in the world that I ever want to write is about some bitchy and bitter old queen who’s constantly living in the past and thinks the past was better than the present. Who would want to read such a thing? Certainly not me.

But I am capable of creating likable characters, aren’t I? Maybe I could create a likable older gay male character, full of wisdom and experience, who accepts his age and is happy about it? But…the plague years! I’ve never wanted to write about the plague years, and it would be kind of hard to avoid with an older gay male character, wouldn’t it?

Sigh.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Monday, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back in the morning.

Fall

Sunday of the holiday weekend and I finally feel rested. Yesterday was another sinus day, but I did get some things done. I did some clean-up around the apartment, finished reading Summerhouse (which I really enjoyed) as well as some more of my other two current reads; I’d forgotten how chilling The Crying Child was. We also started watching a show with Jensen Ackles called Countdown. It’s mildly entertaining, and might get better, but the only reason we started and continued was Jensen Ackles. We’re both fans, what can I say? We’re still planning on seeing Jurassic World Rebirth this afternoon, so there are things I need to do before we leave for that today (Paul did have his trainer yesterday). I want to get started on Megan Abbott’s El Dorado Drive, I want to get my next newsletter finished and sent, and I want to do some writing today. I haven’t consulted my to-do list all weekend, which was a strategic error, I believe–but the apartment looks a lot better this morning than it did yesterday morning when I got up, so I will take that as a win.

I was horrified to see the scope of the flash flooding and loss of life in Texas, and no, I don’t care that Texas is a red state (Louisiana is as well, remember?). Are some right-wingers callous and hateful and disgusting when a natural disaster strikes a blue state? Absolutely; I’m old enough to remember “christians” blaming Hurricane Katrina on the gay community, and also some Republican elected officials basically saying fuck New Orleans, it’ll just happen again. Does that mean I will point and laugh and enjoy suffering somewhere else? Of course not. You cannot call out the right for their cruelty when disaster strikes a blue state when you return the cruelty when one hits a red state, period. I get the impulse, of course; but this is one instance where my empathy outweighs my anger and desire for revenge on all MAGA. The loss of children especially–I don’t celebrate mass shootings in red states, either. It really is a matter of humanity. No parent should lose their child this way (anti-vaxxer parents, on the other hand,,,), and really, no parent should outlive their child. Those people who lost everything in the flooding are going to be suffering enough as is with the cuts to FEMA–North Carolina victims of Helene last year are still suffering, and their requests for government assistance were all rejected-and let’s face it, a fully funded FEMA was hard enough to deal with, let alone what an underfunded FEMA will be like.

And yes, I am well aware that if and when another disaster strikes a blue state, MAGA will be cheering for the disaster. But that’s on them. I certainly don’t expect awful people to change, or suddenly discover they are capable of empathy after all. That ship has sailed, alas.

Of course, Wimbledon is also going on, so we may not be going to the movie after all–but we are definitely watching Superman next weekend.

Heavy heaving sigh.

And of course, there’s no telling what Chantal is doing to South Carolina as I type this.

And it’s only July–who knows what this hurricane season is going to bring with it? I’m confident Louisiana’s two MAGA senators will fight for us if the state gets hit this year…yeah, right. I doubt either would be able to stop licking boots long enough to do anything for Louisiana; they certainly haven’t done a fucking thing since their first day in the Senate.

It’s depressing to think about it, isn’t it? Ah, well.

It is what it is.

Well, I probably should finish this and get back to work around here. I’d like to get some writing done this morning before moving to my chair to read. There’s so much to work on, so much cleaning and chores to do, more coffee to drink, more breakfast to eat (I’m starving this morning for some reason), and always, always–there’s always something else to do, isn’t there? I need to empty the dishwasher, wipe down the kitchen counters and do some more filing and organizing…so I should head into the spice mines and get to work. So, have a lovely Sunday, and I’ll be back in the morning, most likely.

True Blue

I got up this morning to watch Wimbledon, and while I was sad to see Serena not tie the record for most slam titles ever–I always enjoy watching her play. The men’s semi-final between Nadal and Djokovic was also amazing and great to watch. I have errands to run this morning, but have already started on my household chores. I want to get the errands done and then go to the gym, then come home and finish my chores.

All right, I am home from all my errands and I am exhausted. I still have my chores to do, too. The heat and humidity just sucks the energy right out of you. I may–I may skip the gym today and go tomorrow; I can actually watch the tennis while there on the treadmill, which might be the smarter thing to do. Right now all I really want to do is curl up into a ball and go back to sleep somewhere, but I have to do my chores.

I started reading Lou Berney’s November Road last night, and it is amazing, as I suspected it would be. Maybe I could curl up in my easy chair for a while and just read it. Or maybe after I’ve made some progress on my chores. I’d love to do some writing today; but right now I am so drained and tired…perhaps getting cleaned up might do the trick? Perhaps it might.

Sigh.

Yes, I’m not seeing any writing getting done today, although making notes and thinking about writing might be in the cards. I remembered a tremendous loose end in the Scotty book that needs to be tied up–and it’s a big one. I am also going to do the epilogue differently (every Scotty book has both a prologue and an epilogue; the prologue is where Scotty introduces himself and his family to the reader, while i use the prologue to tie up things and let the reader know what happened after the story) in that this time, for the first time since I think Mardi Gras Mambo, it will actually take place at a reveillon meal, probably at Brennan’s, and while the family is having their meal, Scotty will look around the table and think about everything that’s happened since the end of the story. As I have mentioned before, this is probably the most complicated Scotty plot I’ve done thus far–which makes it the most complicated plot I’ve ever done–and it’s a challenge that, when I think about it more, gets more and more daunting and intimidating.

That could be the exhaustion talking.

And on that note, tis back to the spice mines.

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