Bad Girls

Thursday morning and I could have slept later for sure, LOL. But I did sleep well, which was nice despite being so rudely interrupted by my alarm. I have to get up early again tomorrow for PT before I drive to Alabama, but now I can listen to The Drowning Tree by Carol Goodman in the car (I started it when I drove to Florida last fall, but the drive was too short for me to finish, sadly), so hurray! And it’s better than driving to Kentucky, which I will be doing later this spring probably (unless airfares dramatically drop by then, which I rather doubt).

Yesterday was a weird day, obviously. I wasn’t feeling like myself yesterday. I didn’t sleep as deeply Tuesday night as I would have liked, and of course, it was probably sublimated grief. I managed to get my work done at the office, saw all my appointments and made groceries on the way home. The store was crowded, of course, because men were there buying flowers and chocolates and things for their significant others, which always makes me snicker to myself. I have a lot of thoughts about Valentine’s Day, most of them negative, but it’s going to always be the anniversary of Mom’s death from now on, and probably best to not talk about the so-called holiday going forward. The day will probably always be melancholy and sad going forward, and I really need to let go of the “stiff upper lip” thing and grieve. I have sublimated a lot of it by worrying about Dad, which I don’t think is all that healthy for me. Something else to work on for this year, I guess.

I was pretty tired when I got home, and so didn’t do a whole lot of anything. I had intended to empty the dishwasher and finish the laundry (it just needs to be folded and put away) but once I sat down, there was no getting back up again other than for necessities. Sparky is a bad influence, of course; all he wants from me when I get home is attention and it’s so easy to give in to quality time with my cat. He’s getting bigger and bigger every day, and getting smarter, too. Remember how I thought he turned the washing machine on by accident? Not an accident. If the washing machine lid is up, he’ll turn it on to watch it fill up with water, and stands on the dryer watching. So, not an accident, but deliberate. He’s also learned how to open the freezer, so I had to blockade the top of the refrigerator so he can’t climb or jump up there from the counter, which explains all those times I’ve found the freezer slightly open and not sealed and just thought need to be better about closing that.

Nope, it’s just Sparky. He is so lucky he’s adorable.

I also woke up this morning to yet another scandal about the Hugo Awards lighting up social media, making me glad my creativity doesn’t loan itself to the writing of science fiction. We do have our blow-ups in the crime fiction community (see Bouchercon 2024), but at least it’s never about the awards. Probably be more on that later–I’ve been itching to write about the Bouchercon 2024 kerfuffle and some other things going on in my corner of publishing, but it’s something that needs a gentle, delicate touch and probably needs to be more of an essay written off-line than an off-the-top of my head blog entry.

We finished season two of Abbott Elementary and started season three last night, which means we’ll be looking for something else to watch. I am intrigued by The New Look, which seems to be bent on portraying Coco Chanel as a resistance heroine, while ignoring her closeness to the Nazi occupation leaders during the actual war. It’s never been proven she was a collaborator, but it definitely tarnished her reputation a bit, and glossing over it doesn’t seem to be the right answer. I could be wrong, but I’ve never cared enough about clothes and fashion or Chanel to bother to read up on it and “do my own research”, as they say all over social media.

And on that note, I am going to get cleaned up and head into the spice mines. Have a great Thurday, Constant Reader, and I’ll chat at you probably later on.

Dancing with Myself

We interrupt your regular Gregalicious morning blog post, but your host would like to pull a title out of the air and sermonize on why he loves parade season–especially after bitching about it for the last month or so endlessly.

It’s gloomy out there this morning, and I believe there’s rain in the forecast for later today. I saw some posts yesterday on social media about contingency plans for Bacchus tonight, let me check. Okay, pleasant temps all day, rain for the next hour, and then rain again tonight around ten…when Bacchus would still be rolling. Let me check my parade app. Hmm, they show Bacchus rolling at the usual time, post Thoth. I am not going out there today–yesterday’s Iris excursion, while absolutely delightful, exhausted me to the point where I rested in my chair for the rest of the day, fatigued and aching. My stamina is down, of course, and the PT is tough and exhausting. I have PT again tomorrow morning, so I am resting today because tomorrow night is the last of my favorite parades: Orpheus. After which I will spend Fat Tuesday resting and recovering and healing from the one-two punch of parade and PT. Laissez le bon temps rouler!

Yesterday was yet another reminder of why I love Carnival, why I love parade season, and why it never gets old (though I have). It was stunningly beautiful out there at the corner, and even though I was out by myself–which almost tempted me to not go–I wasn’t really by myself. It was in the low seventies with a low cool breeze, which was lovely. I wound up being absorbed into a group of friendly young people by proximity and throw catching, and I had a lovely time. At first I primarily people-watched, and then as dance groups and marching bands started passing, I started dancing by myself…and I realized that was the cool thing about Carnival. You can dance by yourself. You can put on a costume that might reveal another layer of your true self that you usually hide from others, or one that you wear to make everyone else smile and to be fun and silly and goofy. There’s no judgement during Carnival–or there shouldn’t be, anyway–and where else in the country can you drink (I didn’t) and get a nice buzz and dance in the streets by yourself…but you’re never really by yourself because everyone else is dancing and there are no strangers during Carnival.

My first beads caught at Iris were definitely a good augury of the parade. I caught the krewe’s signature medallion beads!

My first catch were the krewe medallion beads, which was a very good omen.

It was right about this time that I started talking to a lovely older African-American couple and their differently abled son, who was very sweet. There were also some couples with small children around, which brings me to a very important rule about catching throws as a grown man out on the parade route who doesn’t have kids: if you catch anything plushie or toy-like, you always should give it to a kid. (Plus, I don’t need more of that in the house.) Also, if you and someone else catch beads at the same time, you always yield them to the person standing more forward, and if you’re standing side-by-side, I always yield to the right. If the other person yields before you attempt, then you can keep them.

Another casual observation from the route? Mom jeans, and Daisy Duke cut-off Mom jeans. are definitely back.

I had also forgotten how nice it is to just be outside during the day, dancing in the street and having fun with total strangers, while drinking and maintaining a slight buzz. I didn’t drink yesterday because it’s too rough on me now.

Another casual observation from the route: there were an awful lot of women out there in full “glam”. Many of them were young and pretty, some were older and pretty, and some had made interesting choices in clothing and make-up and hair options. I finally realized, to my delight, that they were simply costuming as The Real Housewives of Metairie.1

Despite how fatigued everything in my body feels this morning, and how late I slept, I am definitely glad I went to Iris. Scotty’s sister is in Iris, and I remembered while I was out there how Mardi Gras Mambo originally had to do with Iris, which was why the parade opens the book. Maybe the next one will be built around Iris? You never know.

And now back to our originally scheduled blog post.

  1. Society women, or even those on the edges of New Orleans society, would never stoop to a reality show. The ones in Metairie definitely would. ↩︎

Vincent

Here we are on Iris Saturday and I feel fine.

PT was hard yesterday–it keeps getting harder every time–but I got through it, did very well with it, and then walked outside, my endorphins pumping through my veins and it was simply a beautiful, sunny day in New Orleans. I picked up my prescription before PT, and got the mail afterwards before driving home down Prytania Street. I did have trouble finding a place to park on the way there, so was a few minutes late–it’s close to Napoleon and people were already camping out on the parade route for the night parades–so I was certain I wouldn’t find parking when I got home. My spot was there Thursday night when I got home, so what were the odds I’d have parade parking luck two days in a row? But lo and behold, my spot was waiting for me when I got home.

Needless to say, that also dramatically picked up my spirits! And now the car won’t move again until Monday…which begs the question, will I have parking when I get home after PT Monday morning?

I spent most of my time out on the corner Thursday night just marveling at it, the way I always do at first–so many people, so many costumes, so much partying and so much joy; how dark it is here at night, so it’s like the dark is reaching down from the sky to absorb the lights from the parade and flames of the flambeaux, and everyone is a good mood. It’s so lovely to just go out and hang with friends and neighbors and strangers. You always end up talking to total strangers and having a good time, relaxed and a slightly buzzed (some people do overdo it and become Carnival tragedies) and watchings kids tossing footballs around on the street when there’s a break between parades (or a breakdown in the parade) and of course, the marching bands are fucking amazing. I am going to write about Mardi Gras again soon, so it’s good to drink it all in again and remember fun times of past seasons.

I was too fatigued from the PT yesterday to go out there last night, so we watched LSU Gymnastics beat Georgia last night and then just relaxed for the rest of the night. I did watch the first episode of Abbott Elementary, which I really enjoyed, so we’ll continue watching that, I think. Despite a great night’s sleep, I am still feeling fatigued this morning, which means I’ll be dead tired after Iris today. We’ll see how I feel about Tucks after Iris is over. Sunday is always insane down there at the corner, so we generally skip Sundays, and then it’s Orpheus Monday.

I did get some chores done yesterday, too. I worked on the laundry room and swept the living room, got all the bedding laundered, and rested after getting my work-at-home duties completed. I think since it’s Iris Saturday, all I will do today is read and watch television or some movies or something. I did finish reading Deliberate Cruelty, so I am going to try not to start another one until all the ones I am in the middle of are complete. I also need to make a series of to-do lists: one for the apartment, one for my career, and one for my every day life. I need to snap out of the lethargy, and I really need to dive headfirst into writing again. I want to get these stories finished and I want to get back to work on the book I’m in the midst of and has been stalled for quite some time.

And on that note, I am going to get cleaned up and ready for Iris to roll. See you later, Constant Reader, and may your Saturday be everything you desire in one.

Without You

And now its Muses Thursday. How we got here so quickly is a mystery, but here we are. I am slowly waking up, the coffee is helping, and yesterday was actually a very good day, perhaps one of the best I’ve had in a long time. It was the first time in a very long time (several weeks, at least) where I was alert and awake and felt good. I was also in a good mood all day…all of which added up to a very productive day. I ran my errands after work (I left early because parades) and managed to get everything done AND find a place to park close to the house when I got home. I put the laundry away and started working on chores, getting things cleaned up and taken care of. It was nice to wake up on a Thursday and come down the stairs to a tidy kitchen. I watched my reality television shows (Vanderpump Rules, which is actually boring this season, and Real Housewives of Beverly Hills) and then Paul got home. We got to hang and chat for about half an hour before it was time for me to go to bed, and I went out almost immediately. I like this new sleep pattern, and having the right kind of medication that helps me not only sleep deeply but feel very rested when my body and brain finish waking up–it’s much easier than before, that’s for damned sure.

In honor of Muses, I switched to a new pair of every day shoes this morning, and it’s always quite an adjustment. I should probably change every-day shoes more regularly; I have flat feet and my feet (the technical/medical term for it is overpronation; eventually my shoes will reflect that and need to be changed out) roll inward. Shoe inserts have helped dramatically with my ankles, knees, and hips; before using inserts I needed to get new shoes every six weeks. They last longer now, but I still need to change out my shoes more regularly than most…which is why I always buy at least two pairs of shoes every time, so I have the next pair ready to go when I change them out, always buying two pair when I start wearing the second pair and thus no longer have a pair of shoes “on deck”. I also don’t have to walk to the office and home, or stand out on the corner hawking condom packs to partying people all weekend–which of course will help my shoes last longer. (I still miss my old office, though.)

I’m just fascinating this morning, aren’t I?

The Krewe of White Supremacy and the Lost Cause rolled again last night, but once again New Orleans said nix to Nyx and their dying, pathetic parade needs to have its fucking permit pulled once and for all. Let them parade in Metairie or the North Shore where their deeply offensive and archaic values would be more appealing. New Orleans doesn’t forget and holds a grudge forever. You racist skanks and your Confederate flag throws aren’t welcome in New Orleans, and you know it, so why do you bitches keep parading to empty streets and the utter contempt of New Orleans? To prove a point? Think of all the money they waste to prove a point. I can’t wait to write my book about the murder of an all-female all-racist krewe captain. I had no difficulty finding a place to park on my block last night after four, which doesn’t happen on days when the popular parades that everyone goes to–no matter how minor it may be–roll. I could have probably left the office at the usual time yesterday and still been able to find a place to park on my street (note for next year if this year wasn’t their death rattle). Tonight I will drive straight home and probably won’t be able to find a place to park, Sigh.

I am going to Alabama the weekend after Fat Tuesday to meet Dad. I’m really glad to spend the time with him, but I hate the reason for it.

There’s controversy brewing again in the mystery community, and while I generally don’t opine on these kinds of things, I kind of am feeling my oats and I may just have to voice an opinion. I always forget that I had anxiety with my commentary and observations about controversies in publishing because of my volunteer work on the MWA board; I never wanted anyone to ever think I was speaking for the organization when I was not and didn’t want to have to deal with any controversies for the org things I said may have caused. But my anxiety is gone now, I have very few (if any) fucks left to give about anything or anyone, and I have a voice and a platform (no matter how small it may be in the overall scheme of things) so I should make better use of it than introspective navel-gazing about my life and career and so forth. So what if I piss off a few people? No one cares if they piss me off, do they? And I’ve been the target of other people’s bullshit far too many times and for far too long to worry about offending people who find my very existence offensive, so they can fuck right off. I’m not saying I’m going back to channeling my inner Julia Sugarbaker regularly or anything, but I will probably be speaking out more in the future…and I have some definite thoughts about the current one. LOTS of them, in fact.

So, buckle up, buttercup. 2024 is a whole new mentality for me.

Tainted Love

Saturday morning in the Lost Apartment and there are six parades today (I was wrong yesterday; I substituted Alla in for Druids for last night’s parades. I told you I don’t have the schedule memorized!), which can make for a long day and of course means I can’t really go anywhere at all today as I am trapped inside the parade route. They did move them all up so they roll during the morning and afternoon (threat of heavy rains in the evening) and if I am not mistaken they have done the same tomorrow? I was too tired and was almost asleep by the time the parades got to the neighborhood last night–and slept for just over ten hours, so clearly–Gregalicious was exhausted yesterday, and then some.

I had a doctor’s appointment that went swimmingly well yesterday morning (establishing primary care with a new doctor, whom I really liked on first meeting; he had a good manner, didn’t seem distracted, and asked probing follow-up questions to things I talked about–genetic predispositions to things and so forth, and genuinely seemed interested and had suggestions and answers for me about other things. His office building also has free parking, with is also lovely. That appointment took a very long time, so I didn’t have to wait terribly long before yesterday morning’s PT…in which my therapist Jacob introduced a weight bar to the therapy, so yes, we’ve moved on from dumbbells to that, and he even found a way to make planks more painful and tiring. So after making a quick grocery run (and still forgot a few things) I managed to come home for work-at-home duties. After that was completed, I tried reading for a little while to no avail, and finally watched the LSU-Arkansas Gymnastics meet, in which LSU got back to business and scored the highest team score in LSU Gymnastics History, which was pretty awesome. After that we tried to watch an episode of Lupin but we both fell asleep, which was a shame because it looked like a really good episode.

Today I am going to do more chores and try to get some more writing and reading done. There are six (!!!) parades, all starting at about a half-hour or so of each other (9, 9:30, 10, etc.) so they should all be past by the early evening –so if I want to run an errand or we needed something, I could easily (in theory) get out of the box tonight. I don’t think we will, really–we are low on crunchy salty snacks but that’s not a tragedy or anything to really be worried or concerned about. I do want to get the dishes and kitchen done, and establish some kind of order to the house (not easy with Mr. Wants To Get In Everything running around looking for play). Yesterday afternoon Sparky managed to get to the sink counter, from there to the top of the refrigerator, and then climbed up on top of the cabinets. In my imagination I saw everything stored up there some crashing down (and there were dishes soaking in the sink, so yes, it could have proved catastrophic) but it only took about ten minutes for him to get bored up there and realize it’s a long way down and start whimpering, so I had to get the little ladder out and climb up on the counter myself so I could reach and grab him so I could get hime down. He didn’t like that, either–he was clawing and terrified until I was able to put him down on the counter so he could jump to the floor and scramble off to safety, Sigh, the adventures of Big Kitten Energy are certainly something to experience.

I don’t think I’ll skip parades entirely today–I might go out every now and then just to take some pictures, watch the marching bands, and get a sense of the crowd and the energy of this Carnival. I don’t really remember the last Carnival I attended, which was actually the 2022 one (I was gone for 2023, 2021 was cancelled and was the year of the house floats, which was so amazing and so New Orleans); but I’ve no recollection of that year’s festivities at all. Maybe I should go back and look at my blog entries for then? Maybe I don’t need to really remember it much, either. Most of my Carnival memories are those of long ago, when we also used to go out all the time and truly celebrate the season before we got too old to walk to the Quarter and come home in the cold gray foggy mornings to rest up for a while before starting all over again. Carnival really is a magical time, and all it takes it to walk down to the corner on a beautiful day and once I catch that first throw I am right back into the spirit of things.

But still too old to walk to the Quarter.

I did finally take a walk around the neighborhood last night once I was finished with work for the day. I walked for about forty minutes, just around the neighborhood and down streets I rarely, if ever, venture down. It was indeed a beautiful day, in the low seventies and sunny, and that was still the case when I went on my walk as the cops were putting up barricades and closing streets, parking spaces disappearing throughout the neighborhood as people parked and walked over to the Avenue in their festive garb with coolers and rolling carts filled with food and ice and alcohol, boas were everywhere and goofy hats and those rugby striped shirts in the Carnival colors of purple, gold and green. But the end result of that unexpected exercise is tired legs and a sore lower back this morning (which could also have been from the PT as well) so I am going to just relax for a bit this morning and do some reading as I finish my coffee. There’s always FOMO involved in skipping parades–and the neighborhood did smell like grease and peppers and onions last night; that particular Carnival smell that becomes hardly noticeable by the second weekend, as the trees along the Avenue become festooned with sparking strings of beads in every color imaginable. Fences, porches and railings spring beads like crepe myrtles erupt with blossoms every spring.

There’s a winsome magic about Carnival, so that as it progresses you grow less frustrated with the parade traffic and the difficulty finding a place to park at home and the crowds of people and the trash growing exponentially on your street. Even just now typing all of this I’ve started thinking oh you can spend the afternoon out there which is, in and itself, the mentality that leads to pure exhaustion.

And on that note, I am going to my easy chair to read and swill coffee for a moment or two. Have a lovely Saturday wherever you are, and remember–it’s Carnival in New Orleans, so celebrate a bit for us. You’re allowed.

Keep the Fire Burnin’

Monday morning and back to the office, with parades starting this weekend and how did it get to be parade season so damned fast? I slept decently last night, but it’s cold (not as cold as it’s been though) again this morning and the heater ran all night so downstairs doesn’t feel chippy the way it was when it was ultra cold. I have PT tonight after I get off work, too, which is going to be challenging again as I suspect my weights will go up. I don’t know about the kettlebell exercise; how well will I do with it today? Balance has never been one of my strengths. after all, and that was the primary problem I had with the kettlebell thing the other day. I am not client-facing today, either, which is nice. I didn’t get nearly enough done this weekend as I would have liked–what else is new, really–and so I am facing down yet another week of work in the office with parades on the horizon and next weekend being even a wilder weekend of parades and so forth.

We did watch the figure skating yesterday to see Ilia Malinin take his second US title; Paul mentioned this was probably the first time he could remember all four winners in all four disciplines not skating a clean final program. He may be right–its unusual for ice dancers to make major and noticeable mistakes–but I can’t remember who has won national titles over the years anymore. I used to remember, but I don’t anymore. I am comforting myself with this particular lack of memory being explained away as “well, you’re older and thus have more to remember than you used to”, which is a bit of a comfort. I also kept track of the football games without watching; happy for Taylor and the Chiefs as well as a little disappointed that the Lions didn’t make their first ever super bowl; remembering that magic year when the Saints went to and won their first always makes me hope that some other city and fan-base gets to experience that magical delirium the way we did all those years ago. (I inevitably always will root for the underdog; it’s just how I’ve always been.) But congratulations to both the Chiefs and the 49ers for making the Super Bowl. One fanbase is going to be really happy in a couple of weeks. So does that mean the Super Bowl is also on Bacchus Sunday? Guess I won’t be watching–not that I would have in the first place, not being a fan of either team…but it is fun watching Taylor Swift trigger the MAGAts.

I didn’t read much this weekend either. I didn’t write or read much, but I did put a lot of thought into writing–you know, the writing-in-your-head thing that we all do and absolutely it counts as writing, thank you very much. I had kind of gotten lost in the story currently under construction, and then of course while watching something this weekend it occurred to me that I needed a different opening and then it hit me how to finish the story, and how the end needed to be threaded throughout the story…so I decided that I am, indeed, going to start rewriting it from the beginning and hopefully that will give me the impetus to get the story’s first draft finished so I can move on to the next one whose ending I’ve also solved in my head already before moving on to one that I already know the ending of but don’t know the middle. Heavy heaving sigh–it’s always something, isn’t it?

(I did start reading the novelization of The Last of Sheila, which will be discussed at greater length once I finish it.)

And now January is almost finished. I cannot believe this Thursday is the 1st–yay, all the bills are coming due again–but that’s cool. I think I am going to just take Lundi Gras off so I can have a four day weekend and won’t have to mess with trying to get to work or dealing with getting home that day. PT is also going to be a major bitch to try to figure out along the way as well. This week isn’t so bad, I have it scheduled for Friday morning and I have another appointment that morning as well, but next week? Monday should be fine, and if I can schedule it for Friday morning that should be perfect. I can also go on Lundi Gras in the morning, and then we will have made it through parade season. I also have an appointment with my surgeon later in February, so I can find out how much more PT I have to endure before I am considered healed again.

It’s kind of weird that I’ve been dealing with this for over a year now, isn’t it?

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines to get my day going. Have a lovely Monday wherever you are, Constant Reader, and I’ll check in with you again later.

Even the Nights Are Better

I slept in again this morning, and I feel rested and marvelous–if a bit chilly. (And yes, a quick check of the weather shows that it’s in the fifties this morning, and will dip into the forties overnight.) My plan to not leave the house this entire weekend has hit a snag; I do have to go make groceries this morning because there are a few things that are needed, alas and alack. But my coffee is tasting rather marvelous this morning, and as I said, I feel rested and good. Yesterday was a lazy day in which I didn’t do a whole lot of anything, really. I did some cleaning and laundry and put some things away, but mostly worked on cleaning up computer files (it is horrifying how out of control those all are, really) as well as spending quality time with Sparky. We watched both the ice dance and pairs finals yesterday for the US Figure Skating Championships, and binged Lupin in between. I didn’t stay up much later, and went to bed before ten…which makes the oversleeping particularly curious and interesting. But not complaining here at all. Sure, it would have been nice to get up earlier and get more things done this morning, but part of anxiety-free living very much includes not beating myself up over things I can no longer control. I can’t go back in time and get up earlier, so why feel regret or shame over it?

Constant Reader, I may actually be getting healthier mentally–finally.

So, yes, I do have to leave the house this morning–best to do it early and get it out of the way, right? I think I will also go to Mid-city to make the groceries. I like that I am willing to break routines now, and do things differently than the way I always used to. Does that sound odd or crazy? But I fall into ruts quite easily, partly because of my desire to always maximize efficiency and use my time most effectively. I still do this, of course–that will never change, methinks–I always try to plan how to run errands the most efficient way, but I’m not sure it’s necessary anymore. I find myself with time on my hands to waste these days. My inbox is always crammed full with things I have to at the very least acknowledge and read, and I like that very much; I’m always behind on my emails now because I no longer get as many so I no longer feel the need to answer everything immediately. I also don’t feel the urgency to pick up the mail every day the way I used to, either.

So, unless my plans get derailed this morning, my plan is to write this, answer some emails, do some cleaning around here and work on “When I Die” some more before getting cleaned up and heading for the grocery. I had hoped to finish that story and another this weekend, but Paul/Sparky time yesterday proved too much of a distraction and a necessity; Paul and I generally don’t see each other much during these last few months before the festivals, so when the opportunity presents itself, it becomes my priority and I will never apologize for that. I know I’ll watch the men’s final this afternoon, most likely, so I’ll definitely need to get a move on this morning to get everything accomplished that I want to accomplish before the skating starts. I also want to spend some time with Lina’s book, which I am really enjoying and want to carve out some time to enjoy it as well today. I did rearrange and reorganize the books yesterday–it’s amazing what a difference that makes for the appearance of tidiness in the living room, and hope to do the same for the laundry room shelves at some point; there are also some things stored there–the cake carrier, the brace–that don’t need to be there, which opens up more shelf-space.

I also got a new set of knives this week. My old set, which I’d bought about eight years ago at Costco, was just getting too dull and had been sharpened too many times, so I broke down and found a nice set of Oster stainless steel knives (dishwasher safe, no less) on-line and ordered them; and wow, I’d forgotten what it was like to actually have sharp knives. The cheese knife slices through block cheese like its warm butter, and when I cut up the rotisserie chicken for chicken salad yesterday I couldn’t believe how easily the knife was dicing the chicken and the celery. Clearly, I’d waited too long to buy a new set of knives, and I do really like them, you know. The block is smaller than the old one so it takes up less counter space, and the stainless steel handles look so modern and stylish–so yes, you could say that I am very pleased with myself regarding the knives. There are some other things I need to get around here to make life easier–blinds for my windows, since the crepe myrtles are gone and not coming back; a medal case for those medals I won for y/a (Sleeping Angel and Lake Thirteen were the books that won–gold and silver); and maybe this rolling cart I saw at Office Depot that can replace this little table next to my desk so that I can keep the office supples and so forth in, emptying out other drawers so I can use them for something else.

New knives, new microwave: who dis? Hell, I even bought more spoons to replace the ones that had gone missing!

I really do like getting better organized, what can I say? It gives me the illusion that my life is somehow ordered and orderly, and so what if it’s a delusion? It makes me feel better, and yeah, that’s probably partly an anxiety issue but it’s not as intense as it used to be and I don’t look at mess in horror anymore, but rather as something that can be tidied, and that is still satisfying for me to do.

And on that note, I think I am going to head into the spice mines. Y’all have a great Sunday now, you hear? And I may be back later; I may not be back until tomorrow morning. Who knows? We shall see how it all turns out, shan’t we?

Goodbye to You

And just like that, the brace is gone! Hallelujah! Not wearing it is going to take some getting used to, but that is something I can live with. I also had my first piece of king cake yesterday, officially marking the opening of Carnival season–and am going to have another this morning, thank you very much. I can’t believe it’s Carnival again already; last year’s was all tied up with Mom going into hospice and dying; I missed the first weekend driving up to Kentucky, and the second driving to Alabama for the funeral. I used to associate Carbival with Whitney Houston dying; she died on Endymion Saturday that year, but I guess now Carnival–and especially Valentine’s Day, will now always have losing Mom as an association. It’ll be rough these first years, I suspect, but gradually it’ll become more of a nice, regular reminder.

My surgeon also moved up my strength therapy, from twelve weeks post to eight weeks post. I have one more dexterity therapy session tomorrow, and then I can sit out until around the 21st or so of this month before I get to start that again. So the recovery is going well, the surgeon is very pleased, and so, frankly, am I. Now that the webbing mesh is off (he removed it) the incisions are so small the scarring is actually going to be minimal, which was an unexpected delight, and the stitches themselves will gradually dissolve. It was so nice to go make groceries and drive without the damned brace, you have no idea, Constant Reader, and going to bed without it was even better. Managing to and from work in addition to the therapy is going to be a bit of a bitch during parade season, but I’ll figure it out somehow. But right now, today, I am going to enjoy the fact that I can type without the inconvenience of the brace–but I also have to pay attention to the arm, and when it gets tired and so forth.

I started reading Tara Laskowski’s The Weekend Retreat, which is quite good and sucks you right in, yesterday and will most likely spend some more time with it today. I worked on filing and organizing and getting the apartment back into shape again for the most part yesterday–dishes and floors and filing, oh my–and there’s a little touching up that needs to be done around here today while I write and read and get things done around here. We also started watching the new Harlan Coben show on Netflix, Fool Me Once, which is also quite engaging, and will probably finish it today. I also watched some more War of the Worlds and an episode of the original Jonny Quest show, which I had started rewatching a long time ago but they didn’t have all the original episodes available. Jonny Quest is one of the first cartoons I can remember watching, and I loved it–the Rick Brant science adventure series reminded me a lot of this show, and is part of the reason I enjoyed it so much. It doesn’t quite hold up in modern times and with modern sensibilities as it did when I was a child with a single digit age, but it was done very well–outside and around the rampant racism that was everywhere in entertainment in the 1960’s. I may rewatch the entire original series so I can review it and assess it here, but the show also pulled me into the world of mysteries and adventure, so there’s always that, too.

I still want to write a series for middle-grade before I die, too.

And this morning’s slice of king cake (and yes, you always leave the knife in the box, unless you’re a heathen) is delicious.

I feel good this morning, which is terrific, and hopefully will last through the morning and the early afternoon. I suppose we’ll watch the Golden Globes until it’s time for me to go to bed so I can get up early and start my work week, but next weekend we have another three day weekend, which is going to be amazing and lovely again. So far, 2024 has gone well, and let’s keep that mentality and energy going, shall we?

And on that note, I’m going to make a second cup of coffee and get going on my day. Have a lovely Sunday, Constant Reader, and I may be back later; one never really knows with me, do we?

Fever

And today I am off to the airport to head up to Bethesda for Malice Domestic. How exciting! I’ve not been to Malice in a very long time; I don’t remember what year it was, but it was also my first trip to New York for the Edgars; the two events merged into a single trip. It was quite fun. There were a lot of friends there, and I know we had a lovely after-party on Saturday night post-banquet that was so much fun my sides hurt from laughing. I don’t know that this Malice will live up to the great time I had the first time I went, but I am glad I decided to go, after a little push from Catriona McPherson once the Agatha nominations were announced earlier this year. And while I tend to not make a big deal out of award nominations, I also realized when are you ever going to be nominated for an Agatha again? Never, that’s when so bearing that in mind I decided what the hell, I’ll spend the money–which I will regret later, undoubtedly–and go.

And let’s be honest; I am not traveling for book business again for the rest of the year other than Bouchercon. (note to self: start tracking expenses for the year so you can keep up and be ready at the end of the year–something I say I will do every year and never end up doing) I’ve already checked in for my flight (huzzah!) and have my boarding pass, and it’s a nonstop, coming and going. I used to not mind changing planes when I was younger; now that I’m getting older it’s just one more ordeal as part of traveling. As much as I want to go back to Europe–we’re thinking about Amsterdam and Berlin next year–the thought of all that flying and all that time in airports just exhausts me. Maybe I can get my doctor to prescribe something for me just for the longer overseas flight that will knock me out immediately.

I have to finish packing in a moment. I was tired last night when I got home from work, and had to do stuff–laundry, the dishes–after working on the book and then tried to start gathering what I need to take with me. I have almost everything clothing wise gathered already; I just need my dress shoes and some jeans, my slippers and some sweats…and I also have to gather all the technology I need to take with me–cords, chargers, accoutrement for my laptop–as well as the books I am taking on the trip with me. I really don’t want to get ready or do anything; all I feel like doing is going back to bed, in all honesty–but I am sure once the coffee starts kicking in, I’ll light a fire under my ass and get me going. The weather is supposed to be rainy today; I think I’ve packed the right clothing for the trip. It’s going to be warm during the days and chillier at night; I am not taking a jacket with me so any out of doors ventures after dark will probably wind up being terribly cold for me.

I’ll live, I would imagine.

I do wish I would have had more time to work on getting the house cleaned and organized; I’m going to hate coming back home to a messy house. But I also took off Monday so I can have a day to reorient myself back to my life again, run errands, and so forth. I also have a doctor’s appointment in the afternoon that day–I’ll probably swing by the store and make groceries on the way home from that. And of course, next weekend I will be driving up to Alabama to see my dad–long story, too long for now–so yes, there will be lots of pressure and time issues when it comes to getting this manuscript finished. And I have another one to edit, great.

And on that note, I need to get back to preparing for the trip. Have a great Thursday, Constant Reader, and tomorrow I’ll be checking in from Malice.

This Used To Be My Playground

Monday morning of Malice week. Ugh, all the little things one has to do to get ready for traveling. Make a list of what to pack, take inventory of the kitchen to make sure Paul has what he needs while I’m gone, and so on and so forth. Heavy heaving sigh. But my flight Thursday isn’t super early; eleven-ish, if I recall correctly, which means I don’t have to be at the airport until around nine, which isn’t bad. I’m going to take some books with me to read for pleasure at the airports and while in flight; I will be editing when I can in my room periodically trying to get this revision finished by the end of the month. The weekend wasn’t nearly as productive as it could have been–there was another wave of depression and grief to be gotten through this weekend, unfortunately–but I did make some progress, which I am taking as a win. I did also make a to-do list for the week; that should help in some ways.

We watched A Knock at the Cabin last night, which I enjoyed; a lot more than I usually enjoy an M. Night Shyamalan movie. I had also enjoyed the book on which it was based, The Cabin at the End of the World by Paul Tremblay, who is one of our best horror writers today; I’ve enjoyed everything of his I’ve read thus far. The film follows the book very closely; it’s one of those claustrophobic horror stories where some city folk take a vacation in the country at a remote cabin–but remote and country are very much staples of horror; someone really should do a look at the trope of “city folk in the country” horror–and things of course go very south. The film is very well cast; Jonathan Groff and Ben Aldridge play Eric and Andrew, a gay couple who’ve adopted a young Asian girl they’ve named Wen and they make an adorable little family group. The location of the cabin is idyllic and tranquil and beautiful; the perfect spot for some city folk who want to get away from the every day and rest and relax. Wen collects grasshoppers in a jar because she wants to study them; the movie opens with her catching grasshoppers and then catching a glimpse of a very big man coming through the woods to talk to her. This is Leonard, played very well by Dave Bautista, who is the leader of a group of four people who have seen visions and have concluded that in order to stop the apocalyptic end of the world, they must come to this cabin and present the family with a horrible choice: they have to sacrifice one of their own in order to stop the end of the world. Are they crazy? They sound like it, as they try to reason with the family…but what if they aren’t? The movie’s ending is different than the book’s–there was no way they could film the book’s ending, really–but I do prefer the book’s ending than the film’s; it seemed like the inevitable outcome, and made the most sense. It’s a good movie, I do recommend it, but one thing I’ve always been curious about since reading the book and was only heightened by viewing the film: why a gay family? I gave Tremblay props when I read the book, because they were very real and didn’t seem forced or stereotypical at all; I thought it should stand as an excellent example of someone who is not gay writing gay characters. The politics of the representation–gays in peril–is one I am not going to give any time to; sure, the gay family was in danger almost from the minute the credits rolled, and it was nice having a gay couple to root for in a horror film. Horror by its very nature is disturbing and tragic; you cannot have gay representation in horror and then not expect the gay people to go through some things, you know? And having gay characters also adds another dimension to the home invasion situation–are they crazy, are they telling the truth, or did they target a gay family purposely? There’s an essay to be written about the book and the movie from a sociopolitical and sociocultural perspective, but I don’t know that I am the right person to write such a thing; I’m not an academic, after all, and have very little desire to ever be an academic.,.although that sometimes can explain my insecurities about thinking deep and heavy thoughts and wanting to write deep and heavy essays picking apart and deconstructing gay representation in modern fiction, with an emphasis on horror and crime.

I also read some academic treatises this weekend, one about being gay and the gay rights movement’s intersectionality and how it got away from that in the beginning only to circle back around to it in the present day, and the other about the television show Dark Shadows, which probably had more influence on me, my writing, and my preferences when it comes to reading, film, and television than anything else I’ve watched or read in my life. I know I used to watch classic black and white films with my grandmother (she was a big fan of the gay icons, ironically: Bette Davis, Joan Crawford, Barbara Stanwyck, and Katharine Hepburn; she also liked horror and noir, and she was a fan of Dark Shadows, as was our babysitter down the street, Mrs. Harris), so pretty much my course was set when I was a little boy–gay writer was my future. I should write more about Dark Shadows–I was actually thinking last night that I should write a memoir of being a writer; my influences and how they shaped my creativity and what I actually write–not that anyone would be interested in reading such a thing, of course; which is partly why I don’t write more personal essays. Just as I’ve never really been interested in writing a writing manual, or one of those Greg Herren teaches you how to write a novel things. I always feel like a fraud when I talk about writing; never does my Imposter Syndrome strike as hard as it does when I am talking about writing or teaching a workshop. I don’t know.

It’s back into the office with me today. It’s a light day for me; mostly busy work, like data entry, filing, resupplying testing rooms, that sort of thing. It’s always nice to ease back into the week with an easy day in the office. It’s also weird to know that I am leaving on Thursday morning; the trip doesn’t seem real to me yet even though I’ve already made plans to meet up with people while I am there. Looks like I’m going to have to take a Lyft or an Uber from the airport once there, which is fine. And then of course when I get home I have to make up for lost time with the manuscript. Heavy heaving sigh. It wasn’t a good weekend for working, really; I kept spiraling and had to finally, on both days, remind myself that my mental health was more important than a deadline and so focused on positivity and and worked when I was able to get things done. The house isn’t nearly in the kind of shape I would like for it to be in when I am leaving for a weekend (two in a row; the next weekend I am off to Alabama) but seriously–when is it ever? I just need to make sure everything is in order before I go away on Thursday morning. Heavy heaving sigh.

And my books that I’ll be taking to read with me are going to be That Summer Night on Frenchmen Street, Wined and Died in La,, Let Me Die in His Footsteps, and Monday’s Lie. I am not going to get through all of these, of course; I may even cut it down to two–like I won’t be buying books in the book room, please–and I will also be working on the revision while I am there, too. (I so wanted to be finished before I leave…)

And on that note, I am going to get cleaned up and head into the office. Have a lovely Monday, Constant Reader, and I will check in with you again tomorrow.