Wednesday morning madness, but the week is half over and we are sliding down into the weekend, which is kind of nice and cool, honestly. It does seem like this week is taking forever to finish, though. I was tired when I got home last night, but managed to get a little over a thousand words done on the book, which was nice if painful and painstaking. But I am getting back into the writing habit again, and the muscles are rusty and tired and complaining, but…I always complain, don’t I? Ah, well. I am writing again and making progress on the book and isn’t that the most important thing? I’d like to get at least one more book written this year, if I can, and the only way to do that is plant ass in chair and start typing every day, even if it’s not a whole lot getting done. Something is better than nothing. I’m going to run some errands tonight after work again–it seems like I’ve been running errands every night after work for the last week or so–but after tonight I don’t think I’ll run any until the weekend again.
Fascinating, right?
I do find it interesting that in the wake of a terrorist attack and with the Super Bowl this weekend (and FOTUS being in town for it) that this is the week the FBI decided to replace the special agent in charge of the New Orleans office. Strange, isn’t it? I know I won’t be leaving the house all weekend, that’s for sure, especially now that we have Kristi “I Shot My Kid’s Puppy In The Face” Noem in charge of national security…it also occurred to me last night that since we’re following the Nazi playbook now, is it too much of a stretch to think her incompetence is precisely why she was appointed? Do you think she or her foul lord and master would pay any attention to a memo (not that their FBI or CIA would produce any such memo) reading SO AND SO DETERMINE TO STRIKE INSIDE THE US? George W and his gang of monsters certainly didn’t. And wouldn’t a big terrorist attack justify martial law, suspension of everything, and invasions all over the world in the name of “national security?” Kind of like 9/11?
Everything old is new again.
It’s also very easy, when you’re marginalized, to go where you feel welcomed. I voted Left even when the Democrats were not doing anything for the queers, and weren’t much better than the Right because they were the only alternative. (My conscience will never allow me to vote for a Republican; in any race where there’s only Republicans running I do not vote.) I didn’t have a high opinion of the Democrats during the 1980s; they were all too happy to let us die from HIV/AIDS as much as their right-wing brethren were–but they weren’t laughing about letting us die, either. But their support was always lukewarm, and they really weren’t willing to fight for us–hence all our advances had to come through the courts (an option we no longer have, thanks to protest votes in 2016–and we learned nothing from that, or from when it popped up the first time in 2000). The courts are geared up now to take all of those advances away again–I really thought I’d never have to keep fighting for my rights as a senior citizens but I will be damned if I let that fucking trash win. So, I’m gearing up for another fight–one that will only end in my death or victory–which is why we have to reserve our strength, protect our mental well-being, and tag out when it’s necessary without guilt.
I also noticed yesterday that this illegal regime decided to erase trans people from existing on government websites; references to the “LGBTQ+ community” became the “LGB community.” Oh, uh uh, no way, no fucking how. I know there are queers in this community who are transphobes…and I think they are just as vile and disgusting as the MAGA ones. There’s one of those groups in the UK, I think; you’d think people who’ve been marginalized their entire lives would be more open-minded and understanding? But…there are racist gays, and there are misogynist gays–clinging to their whiteness or their masculine privilege rather than recognizing and fighting the true oppressors–straight white men and their awful wives. I remember back when I was on the board of directors for the National Stonewall Democrats, and the House had the votes to pass ENDA…if they removed the transgender community from its protections. White gay men screamed about ENDA and how the trans community wasn’t worth losing ENDA for everyone else, and “we could always add them later!” No, nope, nuh uh, not having it, and we wouldn’t. We came out strongly against it (branding it SPLENDA or ENDA-lite) refusing to send our trans siblings under the bus for political gain. I was furious; how was I supposed to explain that to trans people? “We got ours, now we’ll TRY to get yours.” The trans community felt hurt and betrayed, and who could blame them? I was willing to leave the party over it, and I am just as willing to walk out of anything that targets MY community. MY queer community is strong and beautiful and marvelous, and wouldn’t be without every goddamned color in our rainbow.
I will never cut my conscience to fit whatever this year’s fashions are.
And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have as good a day as you can, Constant Reader, and take breaks to breathe and re-center yourself whenever you need to. It’s going to be a long, hard, ugly fight–but worth every second of it.
Queer and Loathing in America 