Diamonds

Monday and back to the office with me. Woo-hoo!

I did not want to get out of bed this morning, either, as the real effect of the lost hour actually is felt this morning. I could have easily stayed in bed for another couple of hours, without question–it’s also a bit chilly this morning in New Orleans; we’re having a bit of a mid-March cold spell, with evening/night temperatures dipping into the forties this week. Because that will make getting out of bed easier.

Yesterday was a strange day in which I never seemed to get my gears in working order. Looking back now on yesterday, I didn’t get much done but am not sure why or how the day managed to slip through my fingers. The weekend wasn’t a good time for me, alas; this not being able to maintain iron control over my emotions and my moods is something I don’t care much for, in all honesty. I did start watching the Academy Awards last night–I had to go to bed before the final hour of the show–but while usually I find the Oscars to be a tedious, self-congratulatory bore last night’s show didn’t seem that way. The winners all seemed to be genuinely delighted and appreciative of the honor received (as well as humble), and the speeches all seemed to not last terribly long for a change (I think my favorite, though, was the songwriter for “Naatu Naatu” who sang to the tune of the the Carpenters’ “Top of the World” a very sweet series of thank you’s. One can never go wrong choosing Karen Carpenter on any level of anything). I was happy to see upon awakening that Michelle Yeoh and Brendan Fraser won their categories (I used to have the biggest crush on him during his The Mummy/Gods and Monsters/ George of the Jungle days, and always felt he was more talented than he was given credit for, and now he’s an Oscar winner! The guy from George of the Jungle!); these Oscars seemed to be the “comeback” recognition awards–Ke Huy Quan and Jamie Lee Curtis winning supporting kind of fell into that type of win as well, but Curtis has been award-worthy before and her past as a Scream Queen always, I thought, kept her out of the running for some truly magical comedic performances over the years. It’s funny, yesterday I was thinking (and posted) about awards and so forth, and I wound up enjoying the Oscars for the first time in years. Go figure.

But this morning I’ve got to shake off the malaise or whatever the hell I experienced this weekend–I suppose it counts as a low, a valley of sorts, a holler–and get back into it this week. I know I’m supposed to be being kinder to myself these days, and that something I really want to be working on for myself going forward, but it’s hard sometimes, and when I wake up on Monday morning and see the abyss of nothing the weekend was, I kind of want to slap myself alongside the head…but that’s not really productive and the truth of the matter is sometimes you need to have those downtimes, I suppose. I am kind of tired of being all over the map emotionally lately, and the depression, which is never terribly far from the center of my brain, has really got to go. But that’s also easier said than done, by a long shot–what isn’t, really–but I guess I just need to let my mind and my subconscious and my emotional self process and go through what it needs to go through to get to the end of this.

It must have rained last night, because it’s chillier again this week than it has been, and usually a thunderstorm of some sort presages and predicts colder weather. I had to turn the heat/defroster on in the car this morning and frankly, the warm air felt lovely. I think I got a “weather alert” last night before I went to bed warning of a coming thunderstorm? I must have slept through it completely; I was out almost as soon as my head hit the pillow last night, which I didn’t think was going to happen, in all honesty; I worried about the time change and getting up an hour “later” than I usually do and all that stuff; the time change day is always kind of a waste, anyway because everything always feels off and wrong, you know? It always takes a couple of days for me to readjust and get back in sync with the clock and the calendar.

I did finish watching the Caril Fugate documentary, and I am not really sure how I feel about it. It’s trying to combat the narrative that she was a willing accomplice; one that has been pretty well established by adaptations and books and so forth that have flooded the market since the Starkweather shootings…and the fact the only evidence contradicting her story is Starkweather’s statements; I’m not so sure that he was a credible witness. It did put me in mind of how horrible it would be to experience such trauma at fourteen, then to spend over twenty years in jail for something you didn’t do, and to have that haunt you for the rest of your life when you didn’t do anything is probably the worst nightmare of a life to have. I also kind of had to wonder–why was she tried as an adult at fourteen? The way the whole case was handled in the first place was all kinds of wrong; but what would such a case look like today? A circus on a much grander, broader, global stage–as opposed to the circus of the pre-cable and pre-Internet times. With the Starkweather shootings in Nebraska coming so close on the heels of the Clutter murders in Kansas (In Cold Blood), I would imagine the people in the prairie states started locking their doors in 1958.

Ah, the prairie. I should do one of those listicles at some point for prairie noir–right off the top of my head I can think of a few books that would fit into that list.

And on that note I am heading back into the spice mines. Have a lovely Monday, Constant Reader, and I’ll keep you in my thoughts, okay?

Superstar

Don’t you remember you told me you loved me baby?

Ah, the Carpenters. I loved them so when I was younger and Karen was still alive and recording. That voice…simply amazing. One of the stranger Youtube wormholes I’ve gone down recently are young people who’ve never heard the Carpenters before reacting to their music–and without the contexts of the time when the Carpenters were recording, they can simply appreciate the music as beautifully produced and the timeless beauty of Karen Carpenter’s voice (the Carpenters weren’t considered “cool” at the time they were recording their hits and becoming one of the biggest musical acts in the country; they were clean cut, all-American goody two-shoes types that even Richard Nixon praised as “the right kind of young Americans”–and of course, the Nixon stamp of approval guaranteed they would never be considered cool).

Then again, ABBA wasn’t considered cool, either. I’ve always thought you could tell a lot about a person as to whether they liked and appreciated ABBA and the Carpenters or not.

I was again tired when I got home from the office yesterday. I did some laundry and a load of dishes while Scooter howled constantly at me to go sit down so he could sleep in my lap. Usually he’ll sleep there for about five minutes then get bored and go somewhere else; this time he stayed in my lap for hours. I couldn’t focus on reading anything new–I tried, but my brain was too tired–and so I went down a Youtube wormhole for a while watching history videos. I didn’t work on my story at all yesterday, but I did get some other things–more of a mindless nature–worked on as well. Slowly but surely I am making progress down my to-do list, and I am not feeling quite so overwhelmed today as I was feeling yesterday morning. I still have ridiculous amounts of work to do and get done, but it’s not so seemingly impossible this morning as it looked yesterday morning. It may have something to do with the terrific night’s sleep I enjoyed last night–one never can be sure, after all–but I do feel very well rested this morning and maybe not quite “I can conquer the world” good, but more awake and aware and alive than I felt yesterday morning.

I’m also starting to get excited about next week’s trip to New York. I am still dreading having to get up on-stage and speak–fortunately I don’t have to be up there for long–which is still long enough for me to spend the entire day stressed and worried and unable to relax. But New York will be marvelous, and I hope to see friends while I am up there in and around and at the Edgar banquet. I’ve not been to the banquet is a good long time–we also haven’t had one for two years, but even before that it had been a hot minute, maybe four or five years since the last time I went? So I am looking forward to the trip and looking forward to seeing people, but there’s also an underlying sense and feeling of dread.

I still haven’t decided what my next book to read will be; there’s so many good ones in my TBR pile that it is very difficult to decide sometimes. I got some more book mail yesterday, every last one of them looking really interesting and fun to read, and so on top of the pile they went. Heavy heaving sigh. But I will have airport time and flights to get some reading done next week; so it’s just a matter of deciding what I want to read on the trip. Which reminds me, there’s yet another trip for this summer I need to plan, provided the world doesn’t shut down again. Heavy heaving sigh.

And on that note I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely day, Constant Reader and I will check in with you again tomorrow.

Sleeping Single in a Double Bed

I’m a little more tired this morning than I was yesterday morning, which is fine. Hopefully the coffee will do its daily trick and get my eyes further open and my brain more functional, because I have a very long day in front of me and I have, as always, a lot to get done. I did get quite a bit done yesterday–not quite enough, as ever–but I manage to get almost everything on my to-do list crossed off before getting started on writing a new one, but I only wrote one thing down and then I got it done, so I get to start over yet again this morning, Huzzah, I think?

I also see a lot of new emails that need to be answered at some point today as well. Heavy sigh.

It’s cold in the Lost Apartment again this morning, and the sun is beginning to rise in the east. The first news push I saw since sitting down at the computer indicates that the river is rising again. I wasn’t so aware that there was so much snow and rain upstream this year in the Midwest, or maybe a rising river every year in January is something we get to look forward to dealing with from now on; I don’t know. Water is the city’s natural and mortal enemy, and always has been since the French arrived 302 years ago and founded a settlement on a high bank of land between swampy bayous and the river. Reading all this New Orleans history as I’ve been doing lately–over the last year or so–has given me a truly deeper appreciation of the city, its people and culture, than I ever had before. Richard Campanella’s Bourbon Street–which is now up the 1980’s, as tourism began to rise as one of the more important economic bases of the city–has been truly fascinating. A lot of the hotels and businesses and buildings, for example, that I thought had been there forever are a lot more recent than I would have ever dared imagine; even the Bourbon Orleans, which I had always believed was simply an old convent converted into a hotel, was actually built fairly recently; not much of the original convent is still there.

Kind of makes those stories about the hotel being haunted by former nuns and dead Civil War soldiers (the convent was used as a military hospital during that war) kind of suspect now, doesn’t it? I suppose ghosts could haunt a location rather than an actual building; could remain to haunt the newer construction as well as the old.

I still have to write that historical Sherlock Holmes story as well. The French Quarter, in the time I would be writing about, wasn’t the Quarter it is today; it was more rundown in the early twentieth century, and was primarily home to a lot of Italian/Sicilian immigrants, who worked primarily on the docks or in the factories (yes, there were factories in the French Quarter) and most locals regarded the Quarter as barely more than a slum and a rough part of town–not much has really changed in that opinion, frankly, other than no one thinks of it as a slum these days, but locals tend to think of the Quarter as a rough part of town and Bourbon Street as a place primarily targeted for tourists, other than, of course, Galatoire’s, Arnaud’s, and Antoine’s.

I also need to get back to work on the Secret Project, which I had hoped to do last night yet was too tired to bother with when I got home from work late last night. I did managed to cook some chicken breasts for snacking and to take for lunch as well as do the dishes and run the dishwasher, but other than that I was pretty much lying in my reclining chair with Scooter asleep in my lap as I let Youtube do as it wished by allowing it to run unabated or unstopped once I clicked on a Carpenters video–I’ve been listening to the Carpenters a lot lately; consistently amazed at the remarkably pure quality of Karen Carpenter’s voice–which inevitably leads to thinking about how her remarkable, extraordinary talent was essentially destroyed by an eating disorder than killed her, very young; I believe that Karen Carpenter was the first very public person to die from anorexia nervosa, and that death brought a lot of attention to eating disorders, which have never really been out of the public consciousness since she died.

It’s sad to think about all the great music she could have made had she lived longer.

Okay, this morning’s coffee is kicking in, so it’s back to the spice mines with me. Have a lovely Tuesday, Constant Reader.

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