I really need to start taking walks around my neighborhood in the early evening to look at, photograph, and document the Christmas decorations. New Orleans loves holidays, loves costuming, and loves holiday-themed decor; everyone just goes to town for every holiday, and it’s one of the things I love about New Orleans. New Orleans always feels somehow more Christmas season-y than any place I’ve ever lived before, even though we very rarely have a white Christmas here (we did back in 2004); the only place that seems more Christmassy to me is New York–and that has everything to do with Miracle on 34th Street and Macys. When I worked for the airline I used to go to New York for a day every December and buy my mom an ornament from Macys–their Christmas floor was so amazing, always–but now I don’t work for an airline and Mom is gone, so that’s just another one of those nice but bittersweet memories now.
I’ve really been falling down on the job since the surgery about doing blatant self-promotion for Mississippi River Mischief; having major surgery within a few weeks of having two new books drop was perhaps not the smartest decision I have ever made. I always feel weird and uncomfortable doing self-promotion, anyway; I always think people don’t want to hear about this constantly and as you can tell, I’m not really good at it. I know I should be out looking for reviews that are positive and sharing them; but looking for positive reviews inevitably leads you to finding negative reviews, and at this point in time especially I have no interest in reading about how I’ve failed at my job. My books aren’t for everyone–but that doesn’t mean they suck, either. (If I don’t like a book I’m reading, I don’t finish it and I don’t talk about it; I simply say it wasn’t for me when/if asked.)
This enforced rest from the surgery has been an interesting time. I’ve read a lot–mostly short stories, some novels–and streamed a lot of things to watch, but I’ve also been going down a lot of wormholes in my own brain; trying to remember things with a memory that was already starting to fade a bit with age, but it accelerated dramatically after my COVID experience in the summer of 2022…I had already come to realize, recognize, and accept that my memories were faulty all along anyway; we always remember things differently than other people remember the same things because of who we are and how our minds work and how our experiences–and all those little things that make up our personalities and our perspectives–shape us into who we are. I like to paraphrase Joan Didion and say we tell ourselves lies in order to live–we don’t see ourselves as bad or as the villain in any given situation; we reshape events and remember them in ways that exonerate ourselves and push the fault onto others. Over the last years–pre-pandemic, I know that is the case if I can’t remember precisely when–I know I’ve been trying to look at occurrences in my own personal history and trying to be more objective about them all.
In some ways, that was where the story of Mississippi River Mischief came from; I wanted to deal with something from Scotty’s past that I’d brought up in one of the first books in the series (the long out of print Jackson Square Jazz, which hopefully will be available again in time for its twentieth birthday next year) and I’d always wanted to go back and reexamine that incident from Scotty’s past, with an older and much wiser Scotty reflecting on it and how it shaped and developed who he is–only to have it not be how he remembered it in the first place. It crossed my mind briefly while writing Royal Street Reveillon that “oh, the aftermath of this is a good place to deal with this thing from his past1,” and given how and why the underlying case in the new book comes to the Scotty and the guys, and what happened in the last book, this was the book where I had to go there and bring it all back. Yes, Jackson Square Jazz had been out of print since 2010, so the only way anyone could get it was from second-hand sources or libraries, so a couple of pages about Scotty’s past in an unavailable book–well, I did think for a while I wouldn’t have to dredge that up in this most recent book, but it didn’t take long for me to realize that I had to–it was cowardly not to deal with it and pretend I never wrote about it in the first place (especially since I’ve always intended for the book to be rereleased), and it fit in with not only the new story but what happened in the previous book.
And the fact that it was an extremely loaded subject made it all the more important that I address Scotty’s past–being seduced by his wrestling coach in high school–so that he could see it for what it actually was rather than what he remembered it as.
And the fallout will continue into the next one. (Yes, there are going to be at least three more, and I promise not to go four years between Scotty books again.)
- Sorry, I’m trying not to give spoilers on a book that is almost six years old! ↩︎
Queer and Loathing in America 