Tag: psoriasis

Baby I’m Yours

Remote Friday, in which I get to work at home! Woo-hoo! I kind of slept later this morning than usual, but I was also very tired yesterday. I went to my appointments, and by the time I got home from that running around I was worn down. I got a new prescription for my glasses, ordered a new pair which should arrive next week, and also saw the dermatologist. I have two more appointments to go over the next week before those are all out of the way (I’ll also have to fast and do labs before I leave for Kentucky.) I have on-line trainings to do for working at home today–I’ll start on those once I finish this and a second cup of coffee, and maybe eat some breakfast, and I also have a lot of cleaning up to do around here after I finish working. I also am planning on walking to city hall this afternoon to vote, because I understand the assignment. I also read more of Gabino’s book, which I am enjoying and savoring, and hope to get that finished this weekend. I also found my paperback of Shadowland, so I can go ahead and listen to it on my way north week after next. That is exciting, even if it will be after Halloween and Halloween Horror Month will technically be complete…but I also didn’t get to read as much this month as I would have liked, so I don’t have a problem with my horror reading spilling over into November. I think after that I am going to make an effort to read for at least an hour every night when I get home from work; I really need to get back into my love of reading, which has always sustained me for most of my life.

I also like my dermatologist, and we’re going to explore more treatment options for my psoriasis. He also shot up my elbows with some steroids to try to clear up those nasty patches of it that never go away. He did say I had minor psoriasis–which was another shot at my egocentrism; the four or five small patches on my body are nothing, really; most people have even more than that, and it’s not really considered a major problem if it’s less than fifty percent of your skin? I wasn’t wearing my hearing aids, so I’m not entirely certain I heard everything correctly. I also have to go back in a month to see how the steroid shots (some were nothing, some hurt like a motherfucker) worked, and possibly get more of them. Now that I’m older and somewhat smarter, I am using my health insurance instead of “saving” it for some ungodly reason. I was thinking about this very thing last night–how little of my adult life I’ve actually had health insurance, and how little I’ve used it once I secured it–and needing to get all of these things checked out. I am seeing a podiatrist this coming week to see if there’s anything that can be done about my feet’s pronation and the collapsed arches and so forth. I don’t want ankle replacements–knees or hips, either–but this is to see also whether I have arthritis in my big toes, too. (I have ignored my feet for far too long as an adult as well, but that’s more of a story for an essay about insurance and its importance and how it really needs more regulation than it currently has, along with insurance horror stories.)

Better late than never, right?

Paul was also late getting home last night, so I spent some quality time as a kitty bed last night in my chair for Sparky, who is getting more and more cuddly as he gets older. I spent most of the evening alternating between college football coverage and news clips; I am so much happier now that I’ve blocked the legacy media from my socials and deleted Twitter from my life. I don’t spend as much time on social media as I used to, and that maybe is the best thing that has come from the murder of Twitter; my social media addiction is far less urgent and far less important and much easier to think meh why bother? It’s really not a bad thing, and blocking everyone who is ignorant or trolling on the social media I have left is a godsend. I don’t need to know what the right is saying or doing; there’s no cellar for them to reach in their race to the bottom. Do I need to know Tucker Carlson’s creepy child spanking fantasies? No. I don’t need to know what he or his team are saying or doing to know that he’s a threat to the country and to the Republic, and the cognitive dissonance from the ‘patriots’ who also seem to hate their country–how can you be a patriot and have such flagrant contempt for your government and country? They want to elect a dictator, but they’re the real Americans. That kind of stupidity should hurt, you know?

And yes, part of the reason I want to walk to City Hall to vote today is because the Swifties have taken over New Orleans for the Eras Tour, which has three (!) shows this weekend at the Superdome. Friendship bracelets are draped over the Dome, which is totally amazing, and the Swifties have such good energy, can you blame me for wanting to be in the midst of this, and see how the CBD has done itself up for the weekend to welcome them? There were a lot of them posting about their trips down here for the shows on social media and how excited they were to not only see her but to do it during Halloween season in New Orleans? Chef’s kiss, no notes. The walk will undoubtedly wear me out, but that’s fine and I definitely could use the exercise as I try to will myself back into better physical condition. Tomorrow I’ll make groceries and clean and read and watch football games. I did get most of the dishes done last night, and need to clean out the refrigerator today at some point. I’m kind of looking forward to this last weekend of peace and quiet and writing and reading and college football–and getting caught up on our shows tonight. Huzzah!

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a great day, Constant Reader, and I may be back later; one never knows.

There really is nothing sexier than black underwear.

Ferry Cross the Mersey

Thursday and I am off for doctors’ appointments today. I got to sleep a little later this morning (other than getting up to give Sparky breakfast, after which I went back to bed happily for a little more time), and I can leisurely take my time going from appointment to appointment. The first is in Metairie–eyes and new glasses–and then I get to go to a dermatologist for the first time in about fifteen or so years. I’ve been using the same stuff to try to control my eczema (or psoriasis, I’m not sure which is the one I have because I’ve been told both at different times)1, and I want to primarily see if there’s another way to treat/control it. After I am done with those things, I’ll run my errands and then come home to read, write, and clean. I work at home again tomorrow morning, and have some on-line trainings to get through before I am free for the weekend again. Huzzah!

I was tired when I got home last night, but I did work on a short story for a bit before becoming a Sparky bed. There’s plenty of stuff to keep me occupied around here this morning–including a sink full of dishes–and I have things that I want to do once the appointments are over. Tomorrow is my remote day (which I’ve always called “work-at-home” day, but this is the terminology my employer uses, so I should use it as well), which is nice and I have a lot of on-line trainings to get done before the end of the month…can’t really believe it’s almost November already, can you? I also need to get back to work on the book. I signed the contract for Hurricane Season Hustle last night, so the book is absolutely going to happen. The release date will be in the fall, but I’m not sure of the exact date at the moment.

We finished watching season 3 of American Horror Stories last night, and while the final episodes weren’t really my favorites (although I did like the final one of the season), I’ve had to revise my theory that the show’s not good overall. There was surprisingly little gay content (there was a gay episode that was delightfully twisty and creepy from whence it began), which was disappointing–and less gratuitous sexy male bodies than I would ordinarily expect from a Ryan Murphy show for sure. The show itself is nothing terribly new, just a modern reboot of The Twilight Zone or Tales from the Crypt–both being shows I loved, I must point out–so some episodes are better than others, but the lesser ones are entertaining enough, and the twisty endings are surprising in many cases. I do love a good plot twist–Ira Levin was such a master of these, as was Daphne du Maurier; which is partly why I love them both so much. I really do need to find my copy of Rosemary’s Baby…

It’s weird to be almost finished with October, isn’t it? Of course, the beginning of the year now seems like it was a million years ago, and I don’t really remember much of Carnival this year. I didn’t have to go out of town during it this year, and probably won’t next year, either. I kind of want to enjoy parade season this year, in all honesty. We haven’t really been able to enjoy ourselves for several years during Carnival now, and it would be nice to get back into the spirit of the entire thing again, rather than simply thinking of it as a nuisance. I mean, I always thought it was a nuisance before the first parades started rolling, but I always got back into it the further into the parades we got. These last three or four years? Not so much, so I hope this year will be different.

We can but hope. I don’t think I will be as exhausted as I was the last few years, either.

And on that note, I am going to head into the spice mines and have some breakfast. Not much exciting to write about this morning, was there? My apologies. I hope to be more entertaining at some point in the future. Until then, adieu!

  1. Next week I get to see the podiatrist to see if I have arthritis in my toes. ↩︎

Our Lips Are Sealed

Back in the Lost Apartment on Orpheus Monday/Lundi Gras, and I am very tired and drained and exhausted. I’ve lost all sense of time and dates, and I am sure there are things I should have been doing that need to get done but I don’t know what any of them are and at this point, I don’t think I really care all that much. It’s depression, I know; I’ve dealt with it before and know how it feels and manifests, both emotionally and physically, in my life.

Interestingly enough, my toe seems to be getting better. The shoes I brought for the funeral were new and had never been worn before. I wrapped up the toe yesterday morning, put on the socks, and then the I was barely able to get the shoe on. It was so tight that it was almost painful, but as the day progressed it hurt less and less. This morning when I got up it was still red but the swelling had gone down a lot. I think if I wrap it up again, elevate it. and ice it a bit it may go back to normal entirely. I should probably talk to my doctor about it (I am very uneasy about the possibility of gout–how eighteenth century!–or psoriatic arthritis. That toe always has psoriasis on it, and my psoriasis causing arthritis is something my doctor has been concerned about. Yay) But it’s an enormous relief to not have to go to the emergency room or try to get into the doctor’s office; I’ll just message him on my medical app.

It’s funny, because as I was finishing listening to The Other Mother (by Carol Goodman, do yourself a favor and get a copy) on my way home today I was thinking about my mom and the fact that I’m listening to a book about mothers and that revisiting the places I based Bury Me in Shadows on and around also gave me a bit of pause because I realized that one of the major themes of the book was ,well, mothers and sons. I don’t know if I’d planned on writing it that way or if it just happened organically; I guess I would have to find my journals and notes for the book and reread them to see if it was a conscious choice or something that simply happened, or maybe I just have mothers and sons on my mind these last few weeks and it’s a coping mechanism my oh-so-clever-and-sly brain developed to help shield me. I don’t know. I don’t know much, honestly. I am very tired.

The drive was quick and easy. I had no idea of how to get out of where we’re from in Alabama, but I knew when the Google Maps app started giving me directions that they were different from how I got there–since I’d gotten off a highway to get the motel and the app didn’t tell me to get back on the highway to come back. It took me all through the backroads and countryside of Alabama, and then before I knew it I was crossing over into Mississippi and I still wasn’t on an interstate highway. I kept checking the phone to make sure I hadn’t missed something or had put the wrong address into it or something, but after a little while and some lovely scenery, I came into Meridian from the north and hopped on I-59 South and BOOM. Here I am. I made it in just barely over five hours, including one stop for the bathroom and gas. Why is it always faster for me to come back to New Orleans every time I drive north? Unexplained mysteries, for sure.

Well, Scooter wants some attention and I am hungry, so I am going to bring this to a close. Sorry to be brief, but I am also really tired. I’ll check in with you again later, Constant Reader. And happy Lundi Gras.

Winning Ugly

Well, once I’ve swilled enough coffee I’ll be loading up the car and driving north yet again. And while my trip last weekend involved only driving through Alabama, this is my third consecutive weekend of travel that somehow involves my birth state. I’ve been gone the last three weekends; I am not sure I am going to know how to act next weekend when I actually get to stay home for a change. I’ll drive back first thing Monday morning, so I can get home before the Orpheus parade, and then I’ll be on bereavement leave for the rest of next week. I could have taken it this past week but I also didn’t know when the funeral was going to be so I just went into the office every day this week and muddled through. I know this next week isn’t going to end with everything healed and me past it all–you never get over it, you just learn to live with it–but I need the time to actually recalibrate and settle back into my normal life, which I’ve not really had much opportunity to do these last few weeks. After the trip to the library events then came Mom’s issues and here we are. Throw parade season into the mix for added discombobulation, the whatever-it-is-I-did-to-my-toe–and let’s also not forget my dryer stopped working before the library events weekend, which hasn’t helped either. I’m going to try to fix it–if its just the fuse–after Fat Tuesday is over and I can head over to Lowe’s while looking at repair videos on Youtube; if that doesn’t work then we need to get a new one, which sucks–we also need a new refrigerator, which has been even more of a challenge, because all refrigerators now are too tall to fit into the cubby hole made for it by the kitchen cabinets, which may mean the cabinets over the refrigerator need to be taken out, which is an even bigger pain in the ass than just getting a new refrigerator. I really want one with the freezer on the bottom to alleviate stooping and bending (I’m getting really old, y’all), but those are all too big to fit but even the traditional freezer on top ones are too tall for the space, which is strange and weird and who knows what all.

I slept really well last night. I kept my toe elevated most of the day and was occasionally alternating between hot and cold on it, so it’s not quite so swollen and painful this morning. I think the smartest thing for me to actually do is just wear my house shoes to drive in the car–they will keep the toe cushioned better than my regular shoes–and while it may very well be gout (Paul and another friend have suggested it as a possibility, which I wouldn’t have considered, I’m thinking it might not be. I do have psoriasis and that too can cause an arthritis attack–if that is what this is; gout is a form of arthritis), there are all kinds of other options. The primary concern that I have is that my only option may be going to the emergency room, and how long will something as low-priority as having gout or pain in my big toe keep me in the waiting room there? But I do think it’s something I need to do Monday when I get back here–if it doesn’t clear up. If it does…I don’t know. Like I said, it still hurting this morning but not nearly as bad as it did yesterday so maybe keeping it elevated and alternating heat and cold is the right way to go with it more tonight? I honestly don’t know, but I do know this couldn’t have happened at a less opportune time. But at least it isn’t throbbing today, which it did yesterday. Progress? Improvement? I’ll take either one. I don’t think the driving will help, but who knows? And at least the Hampton Inn should have an ice machine, which should make it much easier to ice it.

And I suppose once I am home on Monday, then I can start the moving on with my life. Before I leave this morning there are some chores around the house I’d like to do (mainly so I don’t have to come home to them after the funeral) and of course I have to swing by a gas station (I don’t really want to even think about my gas credit card bill) on the way out. According to Google Maps, it’s a five and a half hour drive of 349 miles, approximately. Since the first of the month I think, by the time I get home, I will have driven about five or so thousand miles? I hadn’t even hit thirty thousand miles on the odometer since buying the car back in 2017 yet before all this started–and if you take drives to Kentucky and/or Alabama for the library events, I don’t think I would even have twenty thousand miles on it, frankly. This past week has been a weird one. As it progressed I found myself getting less overwhelmed and sad and breaking down as much later in the week than I had earlier in the week, so I guess that’s all a part of the process, and the funeral itself will be the final curtain on all of this. It’s still hard for my mind to entirely grasp yet–oh yeah Mom’s gone–but it’s going to be much easier on me than it is on the rest of the family; they saw her all the time while I only saw her once or twice a year. I’ve not gone down the I could have been a better son route–mainly because I dealt with all that guilt a long time ago and have moved past it all; it is what it was and I’ve never wasted energy on regret, nor am I about to now…although I’ve come close a couple of times since Mom’s death. I also have to pack, but I’m not terribly worried about that. I am going to wear sweats in the car (and my house shoes) and so all I really need to pack is socks and underwear and my shaving kit. I also need to try on my black slacks to see if they fit, else I’ll have to go to Walmart at some point and buy a new pair that will fit my fat ass.

Heavy sigh. Seriously.

And on that note, I am going to make something to eat, get some more coffee, and start getting organized for yet another weekend drive. Sorry, Ladies of Iris–I am going to miss your parade for only the second time since 1996. Talk to you later, Constant Reader.

Some Things You Never Get Used To

I had intended to get up early and take the car in–oil change and tire repair–but of course I overslept and now it’s too late–I would be at the dealership all day and that’s simply not an option for me today. Sure, it can be put off easily for another week–I just need to re-air the tire at some point this weekend and it should be fine–but it’s annoying because I really wanted to get it over and done with this morning. Instead, I’ll do chores around here until it’s time for my work-at-home duties. At some point tomorrow I’ll need to run to make groceries–which is fine, I’ll need to get the mail tomorrow and I can drop off a box of books at the library sale while I am out and about; and I can also make a grocery list as well as take some time to select some more books to dispose of as well. It’ll be fine, ultimately; I just don’t like when my plans get disrupted by oversleeping and having to recalibrate as a result. I’ll live, really–am just a trifle annoyed, and ultimately, truth be told I must have needed the sleep, right?

I did work pretty hard this week–the last two weeks, really–and I still have things to get done, of course. But the pressure isn’t quite as extreme as it was before, and I just have a lot of tedious housekeeping to do on one project that needs to be finished by the end of the month–and time, as always, is slipping through my fingers the way it always seems to do. But that’s okay; since I cannot get the things done that I had scheduled for this morning I’ll utilize the time productively around here at the Lost Apartment. I think this weekend I am going to begin the “tossing of paper” project in order to clear out the filing cabinets so the filing can start getting under control (a long term goal of the year); every little bit helps, of course, and gets me closer to the end goal of getting rid of significant amounts of clutter.

At least, that’s the theory, at any rate. (I just looked into a file cabinet drawer and wondered if all those files could, in fact, be as easily tossed as I’d like to think; I suspect that won’t be the case because my default instinct to hoard paper will kick into gear–but this file was created over thirty years ago–I am going to have to be absolutely heartless while I do this, I am aware.)

Everything sounds good in theory, right?

But it’s weird to not have a writing deadline looming over my head–oh, there are still some out there, of course, I’m never completely free from deadline-stress–but there’s plenty of time left before any of them become critical and stressful. (I am very happy that I made that to-do list this week, Constant Reader! It’s amazing what a difference such a little thing can make in one’s life and productivity; but as I have always said, getting and staying organized is my goal for this year and every little bit helps.) Another goal is not to wait till the last minute on short story deadlines, to relieve stressors (the over-arching goal of the year is to relieve my own stress levels so I can make it to retirement in five years) so that my psoriasis doesn’t keep making a return (love seeing a patch of crusty, scaly red skin appear somewhere on my body with a smirk and saying I’m baaaaaaaaaack, bitch) and so that the insomnia remains at bay. This week has seen an amazing string of deep restful sleeps for me every night, which has been absolutely lovely, as Constant Reader can probably imagine. I also think my body clock is starting to adjust to getting up early so many days of the week (this morning’s oversleep being an exception to that rule) and I’ve also kind of decided that I should just go ahead and get up when my body wakes me up from a deep sleep rather than lazing in the bed for another couple of hours (I still can’t get over the oversleep this morning), but so far on my work-at-home days and days off that hasn’t really happened…I just manage to stay in the warm comfort of the bed and fall back asleep with the greatest of ease.

But I am hoping to change that and add more hours of productivity to my days. I’ll keep you posted on how that turns out.

I also intend to return to the gym (!!!!) this weekend; there will be updates of this momentous occasion to come, of course.

And on that note, time to clean out some files, do some filing and organizing and cleaning; my work at home duties do not officially begin until noon. Talk to you tomorrow, Constant Reader, but for now–it’s off to the spice mines with me.