Born Naked

RuPaul likes to say we’re all born naked–everything else is just drag, and she isn’t wrong here.

Everything we wear is a form of drag. We always try to dress properly for whatever occasion, but yes–there’s work drag and formal drag and casual drag and gym drag and sports drag and around-the-house drag and pretty much any way you want to look at clothing…it’s all kind of a costume, really. And those costumes also depend on the time period.

I used to always think that I had no fashion sense–straight women and other gay men have often been astounded at how little I care about clothes or fashion or style. I have slight color-blindness, too–it’s hard for me to differentiate between darker shades; the darkest shades of blue and purple and brown and gray and green all look black to me. I also have some difficulty determining whether colors actually go together or not–which is why when it comes to formal/dressier clothing I tend to stick to black, white and red; I have so many red dress shirts, Constant Reader, you have no idea–so as I got older, I tend to go with what is easiest and less anxiety-inducing for me.

Of course, I also worked at an airport and had to wear a uniform for over two years: airline work drag. And after years of being a personal trainer, where all I wore was workout clothes or sweats, so yeah–my fashion sense has always been untrained and severely lacking for the most part.

Louis XIV, the Sun King–but those tights! That wig! Those shoes! More like La Reine Soleil, am I right?

I also always used to deplore the fact that men’s clothes gradually became so incredibly boring from the heydays of Beau Brummel-type male fashion icons. Look at the above painting of Louis XIV. Now imagine a man wearing that outfit to an awards show or a film premiere. Even our own Founding Fathers wore tights, powder, wigs, and heeled shoes.

But somehow, those clothing items became feminized and gender swapped–of course, women in the past also wore heeled shoes, wigs, powder and tights beneath their skirts and bustles and hoops. But even in the 1930’s and 1940’s, men’s clothes were far more stylish–trench-coats and linen pants, fedoras and other hats, spats and Oxford shoes, argyle socks. I hated the “traditional” styles of dress for men that developed in the post-war period. and the utter rejection of those same styles in the 60s and 70s. Men’s clothing began to evolve a bit more during this period–and some serious fashion faux-pas were prevalent during the last decades of the century.

As I said the other day (and as so many others have pointed out), men have always dressed as women for one reason or another that had nothing to do with gender expression or identity for years. The Sun King’s gay younger brother (he also had a gay bastard son by Louise de la Valliere; homosexuality was rampant at the Sun King’s court) Philippe duc d’Orleans (whose son was the namesake for New Orleans) had many male lovers and often dressed as a woman for appearances at court. I’ve always wanted to write about Philippe, who has always fascinated me–the young gay bastard son of Louis XIV, who died young, was Louis duc de Valentinois; I’ve also had some minor interest in writing about him as well, or just gay life at Versailles in general.

There is a long-standing drag tradition in New Orleans as well. The Red Dress Run, for example, may not be full drag as we know it, but it’s essentially all about men in red dresses for charity.

One of the things I really enjoy about the modern young generation is they don’t subscribe to the antiquated rules of fashion for men and women. I love seeing young actors and celebrities showing up at red carpet events in daring outfits instead of that tired old tux look. Yes, men look dashing in tuxedos; I’ve always wanted to go full tuxedo with hat, cane, tails and gloves–but again, not the ordinary or expected.

I wore a kilt twice when I went to the Edgars, and wore it again at Bouchercon in Albany for our Real Housewives of Bouchercon panel. I loved wearing it–skirts are sooooo much more comfortable than pants–and it was definitely a fashion risk; people who didn’t know me but saw me wearing it undoubtedly thought ah, that one must be gay. I love the way the Musketeers dressed in The Three Musketeers–I think the seventeenth century was probably my favorite era for men’s clothes; I also love a pirate look from the early eighteenth as well.

One thing I definitely need to explore more with Jem is not only his sense of fashion for his clients, but for himself–both in and out of drag. Those are critical decisions for a queen–because while a particular look or style for a queen can evolve over the years, it’s very unusual for them to do something radically different than their usual; again, it probably has to do with ease more than anything else; it’s much easier to fall back on a regular look and color palette than to reinvent yourself every time or to come up with something new every time. I do think I am going to have Jem do the Madonna constant reinvention thing–mainly because it’s more interesting that way for me–because it is part of who he is as a person; Jem thinks he’s boring but he’s actually quite adventurous. Jem has very little confidence in Death Drop, which is easy for me to write because I know how that feels. One of the goals of the series is to show him develop self-confidence and self-assurance and becoming more comfortable with himself, and part of that is going to come from performing in drag and another part from actually solving crimes…which makes him start believing in himself more.

And that is always fun to write–character growth and development.

You’re the Top

One of the most frustrating things about being a queer American is the absence of any kind of history, really. Oh, sure, there’s Stonewall and some other riots/protests in the years leading up to Stonewall; the Mattachine Society and the Daughters of Bilitis. But since historians have done such a marvelous job of erasing us, trying to find our history isn’t the easiest task. You have to look for clues, coding, and signs.

Because, you know, we’ve always been here. We have also always consistently, despite the muzzling of the overarching culture and society’s constant attempts to erase us from the pages of history, managed to sneak traces of our existence and our sensibilities into the art of the times. Ever wonder why so many statues and paintings decorating cathedrals, cemeteries, and palaces in Europe are depictions of well-muscled, physically beautiful men? Because the artists were gay and the only way they could make art celebrating the beauty of the male body was to do so in a religious setting. (The depictions of the martyrdom of St. Sebastian, in particular, are insanely homoerotic; one such painting was used for the cover art of Anne Rice’s Violin, which I think may be her finest novel.)

This entry’s title is also one of those sneaky gay songs passing for straight. Good old Cole Porter, the witty and intelligent composer and songwriter and overall bon vivant. Queer coding is everywhere in old books and movies and television shows and music. (I’m currently reading Matt Baume’s marvelous Hi Honey I’m Homo, which focuses on queer representation on old television series from the 70s and 80s, focusing primarily on comedy shows.)

There have been queer Kings and Queens and Emperors–and two of the greatest military minds of all time were gay Kings: Alexander the Great and Frederick the Great. But our history always gets erased–and homophobic historians will argue till their dying breath that unless there’s definitive proof, those sexualities and identities cannot be named. This is both infuriating and frustrating; take the instance of King James I of England–he of the King James Version of the Bible. He didn’t have female favorites–he had male ones, and he gifted them titles, money, jewels and estates and raised them into high positions of power. But because there’s no diaries where King James admits to taking it up the bum or going down on Robert Carr, there’s no proof. Well, likewise, the only proof the man was straight was because he was married and had children…which was also his duty as King. I know of no women favorites of King James. Likewise, there are no letters or journals written by Frederick the Great where he talks about some soldier having a nice ass or having sex with some hot young ambitious Prussian noble. So, no, there’s no actual proof. There are no photographs, no videos, no nothing. But…while he was married, he had no children; and he would go years without seeing his wife. Women were banned from his court. He also wrote his actually confirmed gay secretary a letter during the course of which he said: “My hemorrhoids affectionately greet your cock.” (The hoops historians will leap through to deny that Frederick the Great was a big ole bottom, and that sentence doesn’t mean what it actually said, are worthy of Ringling Brothers.) There was a lot of gossip, and Frederick’s preference for young men was openly gossiped about at other European courts. And most of his art collection celebrated homoeroticism.

I would love to write a biography of Frederick, seriously.

I also find Louis XIV’s younger brother “Monsieur,” Philippe, duc d’Orléans, fascinating as well–another one who’d be interesting to write about, especially since he is known as the Father of Europe; almost every European monarch from at least 1800 is one of his descendants, despite his sexuality and his predilection for wearing women’s clothes to court.

My story in The Faking of the President addressed this erasure; I chose James Buchanan to write about because he is the only president who never married and he was allegedly in a long-term relationship with Senator Rufus King (Andrew Jackson referred to Buchanan as “Aunt Fancy”). There’s no evidence that Buchanan and King were actually a couple; all of Buchanan’s correspondence was burned, on his instructions, when he died. I wrote my story about a gay historian who firmly believed Buchanan was gay…and after effectively wrecking his academic career, someone contacts him who claims to have the long lost letters to Buchanan from his fiancée when he was a very young man–and the letters will prove his thesis.

Believe me, I get the frustrations he experienced. I don’t think I’d go to the same lengths he did to get that proof, but I empathized.

But this also is an issue in even more recent history. When I was with Mystery Writers of America, at one point I wanted to try to figure out how many queer authors were members…but the impracticality soon became evident. First, you have to start with the question of what precisely counts as queer fiction, and what is a queer book? Is it the sexuality of the author what matters? What if they are openly queer but don’t write queer characters and stories? What about a straight person who writes queer stories and characters? Does that count? Lambda Literary went through hell over this, and there’s literally no way to please everyone. Is it the book, or the author? I’ve always been a firm believer that it’s the book when it comes to awards. Yes, the author gets the award, but it’s for writing the book. So, in my opinion, I would consider Call Me By Your Name a gay novel, despite the author being straight, and my own A Streetcar Named Murder to not be one, despite my being gay. The argument can be made, of course, that being gay gives me a different perspective and point of view that’s more queered than that of straight writers, but I don’t think there’s any “gay sensibility” to Streetcar.

Maybe I’m wrong. I’m not the final word on my books, really.

But this becomes problematic in two regards: one, if someone never officially stated anywhere that they weren’t straight, can it be inferred? Not every man or woman who never married was queer; but marriage itself isn’t proof of heterosexuality because a lot of queer people marry opposite sex spouses and get divorced when they come out later. I was engaged at nineteen; does that serve as proof to future generations that I was straight, despite all of my writings to the contrary? People still don’t feel completely comfortable coming out TODAY, let alone before Stonewall. Take Cornell Woolrich, for example. He never married, lived with his mother for a very long time, and was an alcoholic, pretty much had a miserable, horrible life. He never said he was, but would he have during the time in which he lived? Likewise George Baxt, who wrote a series about an openly gay Black police detective in the 1960’s. Baxt never made any announcements or pronouncements one way or the other; some of his acquaintances have said that he was but Baxt himself never did in any meaningful, definitive way. So, was Baxt or someone else the first gay crime writer? Joseph Hansen was definitely out, and his David Brandstetter series was not only groundbreaking but still remains one of the definitive gay crime series.

Secondly, it also becomes a matter of privacy as well. I know any number of authors who identify as queer but don’t write queer; how do you know how far out of the closet someone actually is in their life? There’s a hugely successful thriller writer who is a gay man, but I won’t say his name here or to anyone else because I don’t know how out he is…and whose business is it, anyway? There’s a hugely successful crime writer that I know for a fact is a lesbian. But if I google her name and lesbian, there are no hits. I generally put myself into their place, really, and ask myself, okay, what if you had somehow managed to start getting published when you were closeted? You wouldn’t have written books or stories about gay men, for one, and for another, I absolutely hated when people speculated about my sexuality–because it never meant anything good for me would come of it.

I’ve never been militant about people’s need to come out, and I also don’t think it’s anyone’s place to out anyone; with the caveat that if you are closeted and actively doing the community harm, you absolutely should be outed. That congressman from Illinois, the über-conservative congressman from Illinois who was outed? Ah yes, Aaron Schock. He deserved it–and while I don’t think he ever repented from his self-loathing brand of conservatism, he certainly has been living the gay high life since it happened. J. Edgar Hoover should have been outed; he was a monster, as was the always disgusting Roy Cohn. But actors and singers? Models? Writers? People who are just navigating their lives and coming to terms with who they are? Everyone should have the time and space to come out when they are ready.

The closet is a horrible place, and it seriously fucks with the people who are living there. I can be empathetic because I know how hard it is, how terrifying it can be. It can twist people (Aaron Schock, for example, clearly felt the need to be über-homophobic just to show he wasn’t one of those people, and yes, that is twisted and sick and sad, and why I am able to feel some empathy–not sympathy–for him as his life must have been hellish, even if it was his choice), and warp them into horrific behavior….but accountability, respect, and atonement are also necessary if the closet turns you into an Aaron Schock. I mean, how much self-loathing had to be there in his mind?

Not everyone has to be a spokesperson. It depends on your level of comfort. And please give people the grace to come out at their own pace and on their own terms. Struggling to accept and love yourself–realizing there’s nothing wrong with you–is a process that isn’t made easier by speculation. I’ve indulged in speculation about actors and singers and other public figures. That kind of speculation usually happens because there are so few queer role models in the public sphere; but I can also understand why people in the public sphere would want their privacy. Being a role model is daunting and full of pressure and potholes and dips and swerves in the road. And it also begs the question–what do we out queers owe to the rest of the community? What is our responsibility? Can we opt out of those things if we aren’t comfortable? I’m certainly not comfortable speaking for the entire community; I always say “in my experience” rather than making my own the community’s.

And we do live in dark times. There is a vast right-wing conspiracy (thank you, Madam Secretary, for that accurate phrase) to wipe queers off the face of the country–and don’t you dare call me an extremist for thinking that. We are being dehumanized and devalued on a daily basis by a bunch of evil people who think they are somehow doing God’s work (that arrogance alone will keep them from Heaven), and if dehumanization isn’t the first step towards eradication, study your Weimar Republic history. This country is at a tipping point–and it wouldn’t take much to tip us over into becoming the 4th Reich, which is terrifying. Oh, Greg, you always look at the worst case scenario!

That may be true, but I’m rarely wrong–and usually the reality is much worse than I imagined.

But I still hold out hope that decent people in this country outnumber the monsters, and that decency will inevitably prevail again. The importance of coming out, because the more of us there are and the more visible we are, cannot be underestimated. This is also where that lack of history bites us in the ass. It’s very easy for haters and bigots to dismiss us as “something new” or “it was better when you were quieter” or the ever-popular “I don’t care just don’t shove it in my face” (which literally has the opposite effect on me–tell me that and I will rub your nose in it) because we’ve been erased from history and a lot of the language around us is new. Language has changed and evolved over the course of my life, as we get more information and learn more, and yes, that means you have to keep up and might actually make a mistake by saying something you didn’t know had become dated or offensive. I am learning all the time, and want to continue to learn because I want to keep growing into the best version of myself that I can be (thank you again, Ted Lasso) and I don’t understand people who don’t want to grow but would rather stagnate and calcify.