The Main Thing

Work at home Friday, as we head into this weekend. It started sprinkling here around lunch time, and the deluge came after one. It was pouring, but only lasted for about an hour or so–but a lot of water came down. The rest of the day was just gray, with an occasional light sprinkle. My sinuses behaved, surprisingly, and I wasn’t that tired when I left for home. There was no traffic on the highway; I only had to slow down on the ramp to I-10 rather than the usual stop-and-go fifteen minutes it is usually. I guess a lot of people stayed home yesterday…but all of our appointments also showed up, which was nice. Looking at the weather this morning–currently sunny with scattered clouds, potential of rain at any moment until tomorrow–it appears we missed most of the rain yesterday, which wound up west of the city. The Atchafalaya basin got 11 inches of rain (!!!) yesterday instead of us; 11 inches of rain would have shut New Orleans down for the day. I slept very deeply and restfully last night, so I have no idea if we got any rain overnight. I feel pretty good this morning, too. The coffee is going down well, my coffee cake was perfection, and I’ll have either toast or cereal or yogurt as a follow up later. We’re still planning on going to Costco after work today, but that will depend on the rain. I also have dinner plans with a friend, but again–that will depend on the weather.

I did some chores when I got home from work last night–dishes and laundry–but my mind was pretty much mush by the time I was done with that, and then Paul came home while I was catching up on the news (Epstein! Epstein! Epstein!), and we started watching season two of America’s Sweethearts: The Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders–which we used to watch when it aired on TNN as Making the Team. It’s definitely lots of fun; Paul and I are always fascinated by the two women who run the program, Kelly and Judy, who’ve pretty much dedicated their entire lives to the Dallas cheerleader program. (They also belong on a Real Housewives franchise, but are probably too busy.) I’m always fascinated by how these young women are sexualized by that uniform, but the show is always very careful to focus the cameras on the ones who come across as very sweet and virginal–or can play the part for the cameras, at least. I will definitely be talking more about this show!

But we’re on the cusp of another weekend, and I don’t have nearly as many chores to get done as I usually do, so I have a bit of a head start on the weekend; I won’t have to spend tomorrow morning cleaning or doing much of anything around here, so I can focus on reading my current books (Megan Abbott, Elizabeth Peters, Jay Bennett) and write. I’m not sure if the plans for the weekend include seeing Superman, but it’s playing in convenient nearby theaters, so it’s not a huge stretch for us to be able to see it. I’ve been a Superman fan since I was a kid and discovered the comic books and all the other media featuring him; I’ve read books, comic books, watched television shows and movies with him over the years–but I am also not one of those “fans” who feels betrayed by differences in adaptations, either. (Did Archie purists whine about Riverdale?) I’ve always been interested in the concept of super-heroes/metahumans etc., and have wanted to explore it in fiction sometime. But how can you be original when so much has been already done? Sigh. I always feel derivative when I’m writing anything, but that, I suspect, is a part of my imposter syndrome.

I really wish I could analyze the imposter syndrome right out of my brain.

It looks like we aren’t getting much rain today, after all, which will make the day a lot easier to deal with for errands and so forth. Huzzah! (The sun is shining now.)

And on that note, I am going to head into the spice mines. Sorry to be so dull, but that’s just the way it goes some weeks, you know? I will be back tomorrow morning, if not sooner; one never can be sure when the mood will strike! But have a great Friday, Constant Reader!

Steve Reeves in Trojan Horse

Tears

The infusion went well–but I began running out of steam in the early to late afternoon, and ended up leaving the office earlier than I’d planned to because I was feeling very low energy and fatigue. They did show me a demonstration-model of the device I will be using to give myself infusions (more of an infusion than a shot; it takes five minutes for the medication to be all injected into me), and so I am not as worried about that as I was. I have to attach it to my thigh or my stomach with adhesive (which comes in the kit) and it will let me know when it’s done. Should be interesting, at any rate.

I did take the new Megan Abbott, El Dorado Drive, with me to read during the infusion (two hours), and man, did I ever get sucked into the narrative! Megan’s authorial voice and the rhythm of her language choices are unparalleled–and it again reminded me of why I always leave an unread book by my favorite authors so I know I always have another to read; I am caught up on her (she and Laura Lippman, among a few others, are the only authors I am current on) and I am already dreading the end of this book. She is so sparing with her words, but the ones she uses are always perfect; it is amazing to me how she can describe a room in like an eight-word sentence and you can see it perfectly. I honestly don’t know how she does it; her voice and writing style are so distinctive, but are fresh and new with each book. She already is one of the greats in crime fiction as well as literature, and seriously, every new book from her is a gift to us all.

I was too tired to do much of anything when I got home from work yesterday, getting home before the next round of thunderstorms–which didn’t give me a lot of motivation or energy, actually. I caught up on the news, and we started American Nightmare–I vaguely remember the case when it happened, mostly because of the Gone Girl comparisons–which is interesting, but I started dozing off during the second episode, and I went to bed shortly after nine. I did sleep very well last night, so hopefully the malaise I’ve been experiencing lately will be lifted. It’s going to be a very busy day in the clinic, so here’s hoping I can get through the day and do some writing tonight–with getting to read more of El Dorado Drive as my reward.

There’s also a tropical system moving into the Gulf of MEXICO, which could develop into something of concern later this week (Dexter will be its name, which begs the question why name a storm after a fictional and popular serial killer?) , but at the very least we’ll be getting even more rain, with street flooding. Huzzah, he typed sarcastically. This weekend we need to do the Costco run, and I’d love to head uptown to see Superman at the Prytania; but if we’re getting lots of rain and street flooding, not so sure I want to venture out into inclement weather. I am hoping to get through the week with some energy left over so I don’t fall into the trap of resting and not getting much of anything done over the weekend. I can always write, and of course, the temptation to curl up and finish the Abbott novel will be hard to put off.

There are worse things, of course.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely day, Constant Reader, and I will talk to you again tomorrow morning.

Pharaoh Thutmose III, step-son and successor to Queen Hatshepsut

Take a Chance With Me

Well, here we are on Monday morning and I am getting my second infusion today, which means driving out to Clearview on I-10 and spending two hours in a heated massage chair as I get this stuff infused into my blood stream before heading to the office. I am already a bit groggy and sleepy/tired this morning, so who knows how I am going to feel once I am finished? I got nothing done yesterday–Paul came downstairs and turned on Wimbledon, which I then got sucked into watching, and soon enough I was no longer in the mood to get much of anything done. The chair is like a black hole sucking me in…and of course, Sparky turned my lap into a bed for most of the day as I watched the MAGA meltdown and civil war raging across all news networks and all political influencers. What can I say? I enjoyed a lot of cruel laughs at their expense (odds they’ll begin to think he’s lying about other things? Too soon to tell) last night–but while everyone not in the MAGA bubble is very well aware of the Trump/Epstein connection and have been for a very long time…I’m beginning to think they had no idea? And thought of course if your only source for news coverage is Fox or Newsmax–which would never do anything to connect Dear Leader with convicted sex trafficking pedophile–you might not have known.

Which could finally explain the shock and horror– and the outright rejection of the party line.

Could this be the tipping point? There was an awful lot of anger from the right over the weekend; even Hitler Mini-me Nick Fuentes pronounced MAGA dead and “good riddance.” Did I miss a falling out between that POS and MAGA?

And for the record, Pam Bondi has always been trash.

We did finish watching Too Much last night, and kudos to both Megan Stalter and Will Sharpe for inhabiting the main characters and their relationship. They really had great chemistry together, and Sharpe is both charismatic and handsome. He looked familiar, and I think it’s because when he was on season 2 of The White Lotus (which also got him an Emmy nomination) all the gay sites were posting shots of him from the show in his underwear, so he was kind of everywhere but not in a way that would stick in my mind (I looked him up, and once I saw the pictures from The White Lotus I knew where I knew him from). We really enjoyed the show and the romance between their characters. I don’t know if there will be a second season or not; the first season kind of definitively ended, but I can also see how they could spring a second season out of that ending.

I did do some more filing and cleaning around here yesterday, and ordered some groceries for delivery. I have to stop again on my way home from the office to get a couple of things I couldn’t order, but based on my bloodwork from the other day I probably should cut ice cream and some other high-sugar foods out of my life again. I’ve reached the weight I’d like to stay at (actually, I’m a bit heavier than my preference), so it’s time to start eating in a more healthy manner again.

I’m taking Megan Abbott’s new one with me to read during the two hours of the infusion, primarily to keep me off my phone, and get back into the swing of reading. Tonight I am going to put my editing hat back on and start tearing through all the things I need to get written by the end of the month. I’m not really sure what we are going to watch next, but I know I want to see the new Taron Edgerton show on Apple Plus; I’m a fan, what can I say? But we may have to wait until it finishes airing to stream it all at once.

And on that note, I am heading on out there. Have a lovely Monday, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back tomorrow morning with a report about whether or not the infusion made me tired again.

No Way Out

Work at home Friday, and I’ve already gotten my bloodwork done and my X-rays taken. It was amazingly easy and took very little time. I drove over to Touro this morning and was out of Quest Labs by 8:10, after which I took the pedestrian bridge across the street to Touro Hospital, and was all X-rayed and back in my car by 8:30 and home by 8:35! It all went so easily and quickly I never had a chance to open the book I brought with me–Megan Abbott’s El Dorado Drive–so that will have to wait until I take a break at some point today. I am very excited to have a new Megan Abbott to read; I’ve been a huge fan since I read Bury Me Deep for an award over fifteen years ago, I think? I have now read all of her works, and so always anxiously await the arrival of a new one. I think we’re going to Costco when I finish my work today, and this weekend we’ll be seeing Superman–the MAGA outrage only serving to whet my appetite for the film all the more. The apartment is, of course, it’s usual disaster area this morning, but the dishwasher is running and I’m about to start the laundry. Getting there!

I also need to get back on my writing horse. The headache (which I still have) this week has been highly annoying and has interfered with most of my intellectual pursuits this week, which truly sucks. I still get new ideas all the time–that curse will carry me to the grave, methinks–but I’m struggling to actually get writing done. This is what happens when you fall off the wagon and don’t write for a while; you get out of practice–at least I do, and it’s hard to get back into that groove again, which kind of sucks. I am hoping that this weekend will do the trick for me. I don’t feel tired this morning (just the damned headache), and actually feel pretty awake, so maybe today will be a good day.

I was groggy most of yesterday at work–that Thursday malaise–and made groceries on my way home from the office AND picked up the mail. Sparky was pretty needy and I was tired by the time I got home, so I just sat in my chair getting caught up on the news–always a depressing slog–until Paul got home. We finished MurderBot last night, and was sorry to see it end, frankly. Would I find Alexander Skarsgard as charming and likable if he wasn’t gorgeous? But the actor and character are certainly perfectly matched, and when I looked it up last night the show has been renewed for a second season, which could be difficult to pull off–given the finale of the first season. We’ll give it a go, of course–the one thing I prefer about Apple+ to Prime and Netflix is they give shows more than one season.

I wish they’d bring The Morning Show back for another season.

And football season looms just over the horizon, too.

And the demon cat has grown bored with attacking me and has disappeared. *Whew*, now I can get some things done without getting bitten and clawed. (He’s just playing, I know, but that doesn’t make the teeth or claws any less sharp and skin-piercing!) I feel pretty good–the coffee is hitting the spot and my breakfast is going down well. I’m not as hungry as I was since getting out of the hospital, so maybe my body is settling back into being what it normally was. I’ve not had dinner–or had any desire for it–since Monday night; which was also the last day I was on the steroid. Maybe the headache is steroid withdrawal? It could be.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Friday, and I’ll be back either tonight or tomorrow morning.

Rock and Roll Suspension

Monday morning after the holiday weekend, and I must return to the office today. I am not going to beat myself up over not getting as much done as I would have liked. I did get some writing work (editing, at any rate) done yesterday; we didn’t go to the movie again because we started watching Wimbledon and there was a massive thunderstorm we didn’t want to go out in. It pretty much rained for most of the day, which was a lot of fun for my sinuses, as i am sure you can imagine, Constant Reader. After the tennis we started watching We Were Liars, which I read years ago (and don’t remember much of anything about), and we are enjoying it thus far. I read a very little bit during Wimbledon, not starting the new Megan Abbott out of a fear I wouldn’t want to put it down once I’d started. I slept really well last night, too–I slept well all weekend, actually, which was lovely–so hopefully I’ll feel rested all day and can get a lot done at the office. I’ll have to run some errands on the way home, but that’s okay; there are worse things, after all.

There’s always worse things.

I am officially off the steroid treatment as of today, and my next infusion is next Monday morning. I don’t know if round 2 will make me as tired as round 1 did, so we’ll have to see and I’ll have to get things done before next Monday just in case the fatigue returns. Will the lack of a testosterone pill make a difference in how this weeks goes? Perhaps, perhaps not. I was down to a quarter of a pill per day, anyway, so probably no change in anything, really.

I have a headache this morning, probably due to thunderstorms and sinuses, which is really annoying. It’s going to rain again all afternoon and into the evening, which should be lots of fun. But despite all these hurdles I am determined to have a good, productive day. I have a gazillion emails to answer, for one, and I need to get my checkbook balanced and make sure the bills were all paid and all of that fun stuff, too. I also have to figure out what I do owe on medical bills and what I don’t; you have to love deductibles, don’t you, and a health insurance company that makes it very hard to figure this shit out? Heavy heaving sigh. I also have to get a hip X-ray done, and bloodwork again this week. Lord. I guess the smart thing to do would be to get the bloodwork done first thing Friday morning, then walk over to Touro for the hip X-ray. Remember how I was dizzy and kept losing my balance when I was sick? One time I lost my balance going out to get a delivery at the front gate and fell, hip first, into the fence. My leg had felt bruised after that, and I only recently realized it a) still felt bruised; b) it couldn’t still be bruised and c) it’s actually numb. My doctor thinks I may have pinched a nerve when I fell, hence the X-ray. Yay.

Getting old is fine for the most part, but the physical decay absolutely sucks.

As I was finish reading Summerhouse (which I really enjoyed), shortly after finishing Laura Lippman’s Murder Takes a Vacation, it occurred to me that maybe I should try writing about older characters (since I’m now older myself and my Imposter Syndrome–which rarely needs any help to kick into gear–makes me question my ability to write about people younger than myself anymore); but what would I say? For me, being older has meant being more delicate physically, obviously; aches and pains and getting tired more easily–but again, I am not sure if that’s part of getting older or just a by-product of all the illnesses, injuries and medical treatments I’ve needed since 2020. It could be interesting, though, and I could potentially make it really funny, too. The last thing in the world that I ever want to write is about some bitchy and bitter old queen who’s constantly living in the past and thinks the past was better than the present. Who would want to read such a thing? Certainly not me.

But I am capable of creating likable characters, aren’t I? Maybe I could create a likable older gay male character, full of wisdom and experience, who accepts his age and is happy about it? But…the plague years! I’ve never wanted to write about the plague years, and it would be kind of hard to avoid with an older gay male character, wouldn’t it?

Sigh.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Monday, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back in the morning.

Fall

Sunday of the holiday weekend and I finally feel rested. Yesterday was another sinus day, but I did get some things done. I did some clean-up around the apartment, finished reading Summerhouse (which I really enjoyed) as well as some more of my other two current reads; I’d forgotten how chilling The Crying Child was. We also started watching a show with Jensen Ackles called Countdown. It’s mildly entertaining, and might get better, but the only reason we started and continued was Jensen Ackles. We’re both fans, what can I say? We’re still planning on seeing Jurassic World Rebirth this afternoon, so there are things I need to do before we leave for that today (Paul did have his trainer yesterday). I want to get started on Megan Abbott’s El Dorado Drive, I want to get my next newsletter finished and sent, and I want to do some writing today. I haven’t consulted my to-do list all weekend, which was a strategic error, I believe–but the apartment looks a lot better this morning than it did yesterday morning when I got up, so I will take that as a win.

I was horrified to see the scope of the flash flooding and loss of life in Texas, and no, I don’t care that Texas is a red state (Louisiana is as well, remember?). Are some right-wingers callous and hateful and disgusting when a natural disaster strikes a blue state? Absolutely; I’m old enough to remember “christians” blaming Hurricane Katrina on the gay community, and also some Republican elected officials basically saying fuck New Orleans, it’ll just happen again. Does that mean I will point and laugh and enjoy suffering somewhere else? Of course not. You cannot call out the right for their cruelty when disaster strikes a blue state when you return the cruelty when one hits a red state, period. I get the impulse, of course; but this is one instance where my empathy outweighs my anger and desire for revenge on all MAGA. The loss of children especially–I don’t celebrate mass shootings in red states, either. It really is a matter of humanity. No parent should lose their child this way (anti-vaxxer parents, on the other hand,,,), and really, no parent should outlive their child. Those people who lost everything in the flooding are going to be suffering enough as is with the cuts to FEMA–North Carolina victims of Helene last year are still suffering, and their requests for government assistance were all rejected-and let’s face it, a fully funded FEMA was hard enough to deal with, let alone what an underfunded FEMA will be like.

And yes, I am well aware that if and when another disaster strikes a blue state, MAGA will be cheering for the disaster. But that’s on them. I certainly don’t expect awful people to change, or suddenly discover they are capable of empathy after all. That ship has sailed, alas.

Of course, Wimbledon is also going on, so we may not be going to the movie after all–but we are definitely watching Superman next weekend.

Heavy heaving sigh.

And of course, there’s no telling what Chantal is doing to South Carolina as I type this.

And it’s only July–who knows what this hurricane season is going to bring with it? I’m confident Louisiana’s two MAGA senators will fight for us if the state gets hit this year…yeah, right. I doubt either would be able to stop licking boots long enough to do anything for Louisiana; they certainly haven’t done a fucking thing since their first day in the Senate.

It’s depressing to think about it, isn’t it? Ah, well.

It is what it is.

Well, I probably should finish this and get back to work around here. I’d like to get some writing done this morning before moving to my chair to read. There’s so much to work on, so much cleaning and chores to do, more coffee to drink, more breakfast to eat (I’m starving this morning for some reason), and always, always–there’s always something else to do, isn’t there? I need to empty the dishwasher, wipe down the kitchen counters and do some more filing and organizing…so I should head into the spice mines and get to work. So, have a lovely Sunday, and I’ll be back in the morning, most likely.

It Ain’t None of Your Business

I woke up this morning with congestion and post nasal drip, which isn’t much fun. It’s been a while since I’ve had sinus issues, and it occurs to me that this bout might have something to do with my compromised immune system. Great! Another lovely side effect of my illness and its treatment…but of course, as always, it could be worse. (Theorem: bad situations can always be worse.) The Flonase is kicking in now, and I feel a lot better already. My coffee is delicious, and the coffee cake is quite tasty (chocolate marble swirl, if you must know(

I was tired when I got home from work, but I had a very productive day at the office and managed to get everything done that needed to be done for the end of the fiscal year. (Much worse for my supervisor than for me, and I do try to make it easier for her, but there’s only so much I can do.) She’s on vacation next week, which leaves me in charge–I’ll worry about that when Monday rolls around again; the last thing I need is to worry about work over this holiday weekend. I did run some errands on my way home, and managed to get some things done around the apartment as well, but there’s more to do as always. I’ve got some laundry going right now, and it’s also “wash the bedding” day, too. Paul’s planning on going to the gym this morning when he gets up, and then we’re going to probably go see the latest Jurassic movie as a treat to ourselves. Just before bed last night I started writing a post about the holiday, and the signing of the Declaration of Independence, and how I don’t really feel particularly proud of my country anymore after yesterday’s passage of the heinous legislation that takes us back to pre-FDR days…which was such a great time in our history for the poor and the working and middle classes. I’ll probably finish it this morning and post it–else I’ll have to save it for another time, and is there a more appropriate time to look back as well as to mourn for the country?

There’s the added plus that being critical of the administration will no doubt get me on a list, if I’m not on one already just for being a gay creative with socialist beliefs and values.

Ironically, we streamed a movie last night which was a fun, enjoyable watch–Heads of State, starring John Cena and Idris Elba and Priyanka Chopra, with Jack Quaid in a hilarious supporting role. It’s a silly premise, and it’s an action-adventure movie which opens with Air Force One being shot out of the sky above Belarus, and the President (Cena) and the British Prime Minister (Elba) escape with parachutes and have to get back to civilization to save the NATO Alliance, while trying to figure out who is the insider who helped set up the attack on Air Force One and sent assassins to finish them off. Lots of action, lots of funny situations and dialogue, and a very charismatic, likable cast made it a lot of fun to watch. It’s not going to ever make AFI’s Top 100 Films of All Time list, but it was a terrific diversion for the evening. I did stay up later than usual–the whole 4th of July entry thing, which may actually be better for the newsletter than the blog…decisions, decisions. It’s cloudy this morning, but according to the weather there’s no chance of rain for the weekend, which is a bit disappointing as I love the rain, but what can you do?

I want to finish reading Summerhouse this weekend, and make headway on The Crying Child and Sing Me a Death Song, too. My next read is going to be Megan Abbott’s El Dorado Drive. and will probably do another Jay Bennett for y/a and the next reread will be maybe something by either Mary Stewart or Phyllis A. Whitney, as I love them both and I want to write more about them both. I also want to get some writing done this weekend, as well. I don’t feel tired this morning, which is a nice thing, and Sparky isn’t demanding either my desk chair or my lap (yet, at any rate) so I am going to work on the kitchen a bit this morning while having Youtube on so I can get caught up on the insanity of the world (someone really should write a series of essays about where we are as a nation and what led us here and call it As the World Burns) which will inevitably make me angry and/or depressed and will spoil the rest of the day and maybe I’ll just not do that? There are always LSU highlight videos, after all.

In other exciting news, I found Go Ask Alice on a streaming service, and Paul and I agreed that a rewatch for the first time in fifty years could be campy fun; it was a message-oriented made for television movie based on a fraudulent “diary” novel that hit you over the head with its message and probably was the first real ABC Afterschool Special (I knew the book was bullshit when I read it, and was only eleven, but it fooled a shit ton of people).

And on that note, I have dishes to wash and laundry to fold, so I am going to bring this to a close and open the 4th of July draft to work on while doing the chores. Have a lovely holiday, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back shortly!

Adorable out actor Brandon Flynn, whose career is really taking off.

Windows

It’s the eve of July 4th, and all through the house–not a creature is stirring (besides me and Sparky), not even a mouse! (Thank God. The lack of mice means Sparky is earning his keep. I’ve not even seen a flying roach in the house this year.)

Sigh.

I woke up feeling sinus-y this morning, with a bit of a sore throat and a runny nose. I took a Claritin a little while ago, which hopefully will clear this all up. One can hope, at any rate. I was tired last night when I got home, so was kind of useless for the evening. We finished watching Olympo, which picked up the pace significantly in its final episodes, and I’m not sure there’s going to be another season, although they did leave most everything hanging in the meantime, and there was a cliffhanger. I am also feeling a bit worn down this morning as I sip my coffee and Sparky climbs all over me and my desk. It’s going to rain this afternoon (and most of the day tomorrow, it looks like), and I have some errands to run after I get off work–so I don’t have to run any this weekend. We’re thinking about going to see Jurassic World Rebirth tomorrow (Jonathan Bailey and his slutty glasses are a big draw); and I must confess I’ve never seen anything Jurassic on the big screen. (We are also going to see Superman next weekend.)

I am hoping to get some rest this holiday weekend. I think my lethargy this week was a kind of hangover from the trip last weekend, despite having Sunday as a recovery day. I keep forgetting that I am older than I was and my body has already been through a massive trauma this year already that I am still recovering from as well. It was probably too close to the illness for me to do all that driving and exertion; but I’ve also never been that ill before so am not sure how long the recovery will take–or if this is the new normal. That’s the lovely thing about getting old without a user manual; you always wonder if something is a result of getting older and this is how it’s going to be for the rest of your life. I am hoping, at any rate, to do some writing tonight and over the weekend, finish reading the three books I am currently in process of enjoying, and pick out three new ones. I got the new Megan Abbott, El Dorado Drive, this week and it may hop to the top of the pile. My reading goal for the year is to reread a bunch of Gothics, read/reread some young adult novels, and get through the books in the stack on the end table in the living room before moving on to the top shelf of the left bookcase (who am I kidding, once I clear off the end table I’ll make a new stack on the end table). I also have a lot of other books from the past year or so that I’d like to get caught up on, but I don’t seem to read as fast as I used to, and I am not going on another road trip until October when I can listen to another book.

I hate not having the energy that I used to have.

And I have another infusion a week from Monday. Hopefully I am getting used to them, and the second won’t make me as tired and lethargic as the first one did. We shall see. I still need to go get lab work done before my next appointment with my primary care physician in August, and I need to figure out which of these bills I need to pay and which ones I don’t–I hit my deductible but am getting bills still, which is kind of confusing? One of the things on my to-do list is to get this all figured out. I just don’t want to pay anything I don’t have to, you know? It’s so fucking exhausting, you know? Heavy heaving sigh. But at least work today is going to be fairly easy; we have a light schedule so I can get a lot of my Admin work done and get things caught up for the end of the fiscal year. I do have to run some errands on the way home tonight–mail and a relatively minor grocery run–but after that, I am hoping to get the chores done and the house in some better semblance of order.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely July 4th Eve, and I will most likely be back in the morning.

Nuno Gallego, formerly of Elite and now starring in OLYMPO

A Little More Love

Saturday morning in the Lost Apartment and I am very tired. It was a lovely first day of the Festivals yesterday, in which I saw and hung out with some friends, met some new-to-me writers (Ashley Elston, who lives in Shreveport! Who knew?1), and went to the opening parties for both Festivals, then had dinner with friends. I also walked home from the Quarter last night, and as always, it was humid and about two blocks from home the delayed-sweat of night time humidity struck and I was drenched and sticky when I got home. Sparky was terribly needy, too, and I collapsed into my chair to see what fresh hells I had missed in the news yesterday (I do love being in a Festival bubble, I have to admit) and dozed off. I managed to wake up around midnight and go up to bed, and this morning…I am feeling very tired and worn out (not used to socializing, either), but once I am fully conscious and awake, I am going to have a great day. There’s a panel at eleven thirty that I’d like to see–Laura Lippman, Gillian Flynn, Megan Abbott and Alafair Burke (talk about a power panel)–and I need to do some research before the panel I am moderating this afternoon. I also have to speak at the anthology launch tonight, and after that I’m having dinner with some queer crime writers. Tomorrow I am on a panel and doing the Dorothy Allison Tribute Reading, and then the closing.

Thank God I took Monday off, because I will be completely drained and an empty husk.

I made my word count yesterday, but am not sure I can get it done today. Maybe after getting that research done on my panelists? The book’s end is getting tantalizingly close, but I know I am not going to be done when I need to be done, which is Tuesday. Why am I so unprofessional and difficult? Why can’t I ever make a deadline? That is a mystery for the ages, methinks. Oop, there’s the coffee kicking in at last…

In other exciting news, our auction raising funds for the Transgender Law Center continues to cook along, and today I am pleased to say that as of this morning, two signed Stephen King hardcovers are up for bid. The auction is open through Tuesday, so check it out, see what looks good to you, and bid on some excellent items! We’re almost to $30k in bids; which is fifty percent more than our goal, which is also amazing. Well done, community!

And on that note, I need to get moving. Sorry to be so brief, and won’t be back until tomorrow.

  1. Apparently a lot of people, since her debut hit Number One on the New York Times bestseller list! She’s lovely, by the way, and I am looking forward to reading her. ↩︎

Goodbye Jimmy Goodbye

Here it is Tuesday, and I am feeling okay this morning–awake and rested, if a little creaky (which is every morning these days)–and my coffee is really tasty this morning, which is lovely. I slept pretty well, other than the occasional sniffing/clawing/biting from Sparky, and I could have easily stayed in bed for another hour or so, but that’s okay. Functionality is perfectly fine.

We watched more Euphoria last night, and I have to say, we are really enjoying it. Nate is a monster, played beautifully (see what I did there?) by Jacob Elordi; but as wild and over-the-top as the show is, it’s also marvelously queer–and also shows the difference between a miserable existence that is completely a lie (Nate’s dad) to Rue’s unabashed, unquestioned bisexuality, and of course there’s a marvelous trans character as well, who is just as developed and three-dimensional and has an interior life as much as the others, which is terrific. Represent, HBO! I’m also a bit surprised that this show hasn’t been targeted by the right–drugs and sex and drinking and teenagers, oh my! But they never came after Gossip Girl either; selective outrage is never consistent, after all.

I did write some last night; it was all garbage, but at least it was something, right? Even as I was typing the words as they came to me, I knew it wasn’t any good. I had the voice completely wrong, and the words, which I’d intended to create a dream-like kind of mood (the way Megan Abbott does, so effortlessly), weren’t good either. It’s just a prologue, and it’s not the actual book I want to write quite yet, but at least it was something–and it was in my mind so much I couldn’t really do much of anything else until I got it out of my system. It’s only about 1500 words or so, and needs to be redone, but I can work on that while I work on these other stories I need to get taken care of. There’s a lot that has to go into this book, which is probably going to wind up being shorter than I had really ever thought about–it kind of needs to be, kind of quick and nasty and dreamy.

Now that I’ve finished Where They Wait (more on that later), I am going to go back to something I’d started before my trip, and then I have some others I’d like to get through relatively quickly; but I do have a three day weekend to look forward to; so hopefully I can get some other reading done, too. I know we are going to Costco this weekend–I need to make a list–and I also need to make groceries, but I’ll probably swing by the grocery store on my way home from work tomorrow since it’s Pay-the-Bills Day. I also want to get a lot of the apartment taken care of, so I can take books to the library on Saturday and I can also drop off the dry cleaning, which will be a lovely start towards making the living room look like a living room and not a fraternity dorm room.

I do continue to keep tabs on the Noah Presgrove case in Oklahoma; his autopsy report was finally released last week (why did it take eight months is another good question), and it’s brutal. I knew it was bad, but Jesus. He literally was beaten to death, and the injuries are horrific. I also became aware of another case yesterday–Tom Brown in Canadian, Texas–which is also weird, is also small town stuff, and Canadian isn’t very far from Comanche, Oklahoma…although I doubt the cases are connected, despite the proximity; poor Tom disappeared on Thanksgiving, and his remains weren’t found for almost two years. Skin Hollandsworth had done an eight-part series on Tom for Texas Monthly, which I will probably read over the course of the weekend. It also occurred to me last night that I have become obsessed with the murders of teenaged boys in rural America lately. But how many cases like this are there, where a teenaged boy (granted, Noah was nineteen, but that still counts) is murdered in a small town where everyone knows everyone, but no one knows who the killer/killers is/are? Come on, now. I’m not buying that for a second.

There’s no corruption quite like small town corruption, is there? That’s also uniquely American, I think, and tells quite a different story than all the “real America/Joe Sixpack” right wing bullshit they try to sell us, where every small town is Mayberry and good American values are still appreciated. Well, in my experience every small town is either Twin Peaks or Peyton Place, and if that defines America….well, we need to rethink that.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely day, Constant Reader, and I’ll probably be back later.