Tomorrow Belongs to Me

Ah, Cabaret.

I first became aware of this movie from commercials on television, and it looked very weird to young Greg. I had no idea what the movie was about, other than it was a musical; starred Liza Minnelli; also had the gorgeous Michael York in the cast; and seemed to be set in old pre-Nazi Germany. It also came out in the same year as The Godfather, which sucked all the air out of the year when it comes to film. I had also read that book that year because of the movie…which also got me interested in Marlon Brando, which is a whole other entry. (Not to mention the sex scenes, which were really confusing in a lot of ways…especially Lucy Mancini’s over-large vagina.) But Liza was everywhere that year, too–every talk show, had her own special “Liza with a Z”, magazine covers and newspapers and periodicals like you wouldn’t believe.

I had no clue what the plot was, other than decadence and debauchery?

I remember asking a friend that year if she knew what Cabaret was about–her parents were European immigrants from after the war; her father was Czech and mother German–and she told me her parents had seen it and her mother said, “It’s all about homosexuals”, which naturally got me incredibly interested in the movie. I finally saw it several years later when it aired on television, but everything queer was sliced out of the movie and it was disjointed and didn’t make a lot of sense, so I thought well, that was shit, how did it win all those Oscars?

Because of course, all the queer stuff has been excised from the movie; the movie was basically castrated and to me, seemed like nothing more than a vehicle to move the movie along to the next musical number–many musicals are like this, so I really didn’t understand what the big deal was about this one.

A few years later, I caught the original uncut version on HBO…and have been a fan ever since.

Cabaret never should have been sold to television for airing because it had to be gutted to make it ready for prime time. I only hope no one involved with the film saw that version of it, but it really was a desecration.

By the time I saw the movie as Bob Fosse originally intended it to be seen, I had become aware of the source material: Goodbye to Berlin by Christopher Isherwood, an autobiographical novel about his experiences in Weimar Berlin and witnessing the rise of the Nazis–and how their malevolence was poisoning German society and culture. It had been adapted for the stage by John Van Druten as I Am a Camera (which is the opening sentence of the second paragraph of the book), and the play was also filmed, starring Julie Harris, who may have played Sally on stage, too. I Am a Camera was adapted into the musical Cabaret, but significant changes were made from the stage version of the musical in adapting it for the screen–and the screen adaptation also wound up causing the stage version to revised, remodeled, and reinvented as well. (And to make things even more confusing, Isherwood later wrote a memoir about that time period in Berlin called Christopher and His Kind, which was also filmed.)

I had not seen the earlier film, nor had I read the book when I saw the uncut version of Cabaret.

And you really couldn’t go wrong casting Michael York in the 1970s. Stunningly handsome, and that velvety voice that just dripped syrup.

I mean, really. I think this is from Something for Everyone, which is a great, little-known queer movie also starring Angela Lansbury! (There’s a watchable version uploaded to Youtube, but the sound and picture quality isn’t great.)

I rewatch the film every now and then. I went through an Isherwood phase in the late 90’s/early aughts, when I read everything he wrote, and I enjoyed them all. And when I see some political movements today (hello, MAGAts!), Cabaret is never far from my mind.

It’s astonishing that the film was even made, given that homosexuality was still considered a mental illness in 1972, and the film didn’t judge. It simply presented these alternative sexualities as normal, and while the times themselves weren’t normal, there was also a very strong sense that the Weimar period–which is endlessly fascinating, which is one of many reasons I love Babylon Berlin so much–that filled the German political vacuum between the wars wasn’t very different from the twenties everywhere else, either; a time when the society and culture rejected the old, more conservative times that led to the first war, and everyone just wanted to have a good time because so much was misery. (I often wonder how much the American Stock Market crash of 1929 had to do with the rise of fascism in Germany; it was the economy, after all, that really caused the problems, and wasn’t the global economy heavily impacted by the collapse of Wall Street? We never realize how what happens in our country affects the rest of the world, because the United States is just as narcissistic as the convicted felon the Republicans are running.)

But the underlying message of Cabaret is one that is hard to miss: that living in your own bubble and ignoring the world outside is precisely how garbage like the Nazis rise to power…the assumption that someone else will do something to take care of it, and we’ll just keep having fun. In the late 1980s and early 1990s I thought we as a country we’re headed down that path; the unholy marriage between the right wing and evangelical christianity (I will never capitalize that C because cults don’t deserve that respect) certainly made it very clear to me that there was a very large segment of the American population that would be more than happy to put all racialized people and queer people into death camps. (I even started toying with the idea for a novel about that very thing; I still think about that idea A LOT, and even more so since 2016–which is also when I started rewatching Cabaret again on a more regular basis. Cabaret, and Bob Fosse’s vision of what it should be, was very powerful; and it changed the face of what movie musicals looked like and could be, and has influenced stage and screen musicals ever since. It’s a stunningly shot film, and now I can say that I understand why Fosse won the Oscar instead of Francis Ford Coppola for The Godfather; both films are masterpieces, but Cabaret was more “showy,” and that always wins over diligent and detailed craft.

And no, the movie isn’t “all about homosexuals”–even though there’s a minor character who is a trans woman; the main character is gay and bi-curious, and Max, Sally’s other love interest, is also bi and sleeps with them both cheerily. That was VERY avant-garde attitude to have in a 1972 Hollywood movie made for American audiences.

I wonder how seeing it on the screen in 1972 might have impacted me? But I also can’t imagine my mother and sister sitting through it, either.

Cabaret is a must-see if you’re interested in queer film–or great American cinema, for that matter. And I will judge you for not seeing it. In fact, I’m doing that right now.

My Sharona

Wedesday pay-the-bills day, after a very good night’s sleep and this is the first time this week I’ve awakened feeling…awake, if that makes sense. I had a decent day at work yesterday, ran errands on the way home from work (will be doing that again tonight), and then got home, feeling inside out and tired. Sparky was feeling needy after being home alone all day, so I decided to just relax in my chair and let him cuddle up to me and go to sleep, which was pretty much how we spent the rest of the evening, with the occasional getting up for the bathroom or something to drink. We watched a documentary on Youtube about the backstory of Cabaret, which was interesting, from Isherwood’s Berlin Stories1 to the stage and film adaptation as I Am a Camera, and then finally stage and screen versions of Cabaret, along with the revivals. It was interesting; I knew there were a lot of differences between the play and the film, and that later revivals often used songs that were original to the film. That sort of thing always interests me. I spent most of the rest of the night reading news reports, trying to get back on top of what is going on in the world while I’ve been focusing on my recovery and getting through the days productively, and I have to say it was horrifying, absolutely horrifying. I’ve been aware of everything going on, of course, it’s just not something I’ve allowed myself to really think about and/or through until last evening.

The world is indeed in terrible shape.

My arm feels fatigued this morning, too, from Monday’s night’s PT. The muscles in my left arm were twitching/spasming a bit last night, but they did the same thing on Sunday. I don’t think it’s a big deal or anything that needs to be reported at any time before I have PT on Friday, when I can talk to my actual physical therapist about it, but again–I think that’s just a natural reaction to working hard, which the arm is definitely not completely used to yet. I still feel good about my progress, and I am trying valiantly to resist frustration at not being fully recovered yet. But hell, I’ve made it this far already so why complain?

NARRATOR VOICE: He can always complain.

I have to say, now that I made my decision about Bouchercon and posted about it, I feel a lot more relaxed and less anxious about the whole thing–and really, that should tell me something: if I am feeling anxious about something, or dismiss it when I think about it so it won’t stress me out, that should be when I decide not to attend or do something. It would definitely make my life easier. I still have a ton of entries in the draft folder I need to eventually do something with, but hopefully tonight when I get home I will feel like getting some work done and Sparky won’t be needy–since I cannot seem to resist his wiles ever. He’s just so sweet (when he isn’t being a terror).

And so, here I am on the midway point of my work week. Things appear to be picking up, after the slow start to everything this week. The apartment still has chores that need to be done–laundry and dishes and so forth–and yesterday’s mail had a shower caddy that I ordered; one that goes over the shower head. I bought one a while ago–and every time I got in the shower I’d think I need to get one that goes over the shower head because the one I got doesn’t fit there and is a pain in the ass, but I would never remember to buy and/or order one that works better. Of course, assembly was required (and a Phillips head screwdriver! What is this madness?) and I just wasn’t there last night to do it properly, plus Sparky was trying to knock everything off the counter and I just said fuck it and shoved everything back in the box to do at another time. I also got my new, magnetic measuring spoons yesterday, which means they will either stick together when not in use or will stick to the refrigerator or the oven hood. Huzzah!

And as always when I am feeling alive and energetic in the middle of the week, I am already thinking about all the things I can get done over the weekend. WHY do I always think I can/will do more than I wind up doing? I think this is part of the constant self-defeating thing that I do; I think I will be able to do more than usual but inevitably will wind up not doing it all so I can feel like I’ve failed and thus can self-reproach, which is really not the best way to live one’s life.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. There are, after all, bills to be paid. I may be back later, one can never be entirely certain. Have a lovely Wednesday at any rate!

  1. I am thinking it may be time to revisit Isherwood; and I don’t think I’ve read Christopher and His Kind, which would be a great place to start. ↩︎