Knock on Wood

I was Executive Vice President of Mystery Writers of America for three years (2020-2022), and it isn’t something I talk about much. I never wanted to be seen as using this volunteer position (which basically was chairman of the board) to promote myself or my career, which is why I never really talked about it much other than referring to it here as “my volunteer work.” It was exhausting, exhilarating, and frustrating at the same time. I dealt with a lot of firsts–first EVP to cancel the Edgar banquet, first EVP who had a Grand Master die on him before the Edgar presentation, on and on and on–but one thing I am really proud of that I accomplished in the role was the creation of the Lillian Jackson Braun Award, facilitated by two board members. Cozies are often overlooked when it comes to awards–they are the romance novels of the crime fiction community, looked down on, mocked, and not taken seriously–and I’ve experienced crime writers talking smack about cozies from even before I was published. The establishment of this award was a first step, I felt, for MWA to appreciate and uplift this subgenre so that it’s taken more seriously.

I had always wanted to write one, and that became A Streetcar Named Murder. I’ve also been reading more of them, too, since I realized I had allowed the opinion of others to influence my reading habits. I’ve long enjoyed Donna Andrews’ and Ellen Hart’s series, and there are so many terrific cozy writers out there…Ellen Byron, Sherry Harris, Katherine Hall Page, Leslie Budewitz; the list could go on forever, really.

So I’d been meaning to get around to the first Lillian Jackson Braun winner, presented earlier this year–and what a pleasant surprise Buried in a Good Book by Tamara Berry turned out to be.

“There are at least three dead bodies in there.”

Tess Harrow stood in front of the log cabin, mentally calculating where each of the corpses would be found. The basement would have one of them. She could see damp seeping up from the underground barracks, the stonework crumbling with neglect. It would be a crime not to store a body there. The lean-to on one side of the cabin, which was living up to its name and looked one strong breeze away from toppling over, was ideal for another. The chimney was large enough for someone small, and…

“Four. Four dead bodies.”

She nodded once and hefted her suitcase. There would be an additional corpse under the porch–she was sure of it. The rotted wood and craggy slates made the perfect cover for one final interment.

“You are so weird,” muttered Gertrude. Tess’ s teenaged daughter didn’t bother lifting her own suitcase, opting instead to dragit on the ground. The bump of the bag matched the slump of her shoulders. The prospect of sharing her home with a few corpses wasn’t doing much to improve a mood that had been questionable to begin with. “Please tell me we at least have Wi-fi out here.”

At first, I wasn’t sure what was going on in this opening sequence, and Berry draws this out a little bit, as we slowly are introduced to bestselling thriller writer Tess Harrow and her teenaged daughter, Gertrude (Gertie). Tess and Gertie’s father divorced some six months before the start of the book, and he’s pretty much ignored her since leaving Tess for a younger woman. Tess, behind on her latest book–she hasn’t started it–decided to remove herself and her daughter from Seattle and come out to stay at her grandfather’s extremely rural cabin–no power, running water, or wi-fi–so she can focus on finishing her book and get Gertie away from the Internet so she won’t know her dad isn’t reaching out to her. Within moments of their arrival, they head down to the pond on the property just as the water explodes and it starts raining fish–and body parts. A dead body had been in the pond, and the “blast fishing” not only killed the fish but dredged up the corpse. Soon we meet the local sheriff–a dead ringer for Tess’s police detective, and she starts plotting her new book by basing it on what is happening around her.

This is an wickedly clever concept: Tess isn’t investigating the murder, but trying to figure out how to plot her book since it’s based on the criminal investigation going on around her. These are some of the most amusing parts of the book–as Tess tries to change the crime so it’s not obvious she is basing it on a true crime, and changing characters and relationships around so they don’t bear too close a resemblance to the real thing, but she keeps stumbling on clues–and the police detective is getting awfully tired of her bizarre theories and interruptions. Berry makes this even funnier, by having the cop actually be one of her readers, and constantly telling her how she gets things wrong in her books. There are a lot of weird things going on up on these woods–and every element, no matter how disparate, ties in to the mystery–a flock of toucans, an eccentric’s missing cat, Bigfoot sightings, and a town full of suspects, including identical triplets (I did this in a book too!)–and there were several points where I had no idea how this was all going to play out and work out, but I was also having an incredibly good time reading it. It’s funny, and I really like the characters of Tess and Gertie, as well as their supporting cast.

I am looking forward to the next for sure!

Reindeer Boogie

Up ungodly early on a Saturday because I have to cross the river to the West Bank to get my oil changed. One of the most interesting things about this surgery recovery is it seems to have wiped my memory banks or something–kind of like an Apple OS update. Yesterday on my way to PT I checked the car’s systems and was stunned to see that I was due for an oil change. It seemed like I’d just had it done, but now that I think about it, it may have been as far back as June, when I went to Alabama and Kentucky and back. I’ve done a lot of driving since then, including a weekend drive over to Panama City Beach in October, and so it’s not really surprising that it’s due again–and thank God I checked, right?

But I continue to sleep well, and I am really looking forward to sleeping late tomorrow and just lazing around until I feel like getting up. Monday morning I have PT early, and then have to head into the office for my paperwork day. It’ll be a great and interesting week of trying to get everything caught up so I can take my four day Christmas break with a clear conscience–at least as far as work is concerned. My PT visits continue to go well, and I like both therapists I’ve worked with so far. (If you’re local to New Orleans and need physical therapy, I highly recommend Physiofit in Uptown on Magazine Street.) I am hoping I won’t need the brace after I see my surgeon again next Friday, and what a lovely Christmas gift that would be, wouldn’t it? It’s just cumbersome and awkward now, and the greater dexterity I get with my hand the more annoying it is to have to type around having it on. I also have noticed how easily I tire now, too–but I also know my body had a major trauma that it hasn’t completely recovered from just yet, and three weeks of being sedentary wasn’t a huge help; I have to build my stamina back up.

We watched the final episode of Fellow Travelers last night and while it was terribly sad, there was a kind of release at the end as well. It’s an incredible show, and both Matt Bohmer and Jonathan Bailey deserve to be nominated for Emmys next time around. I doubt that it will get a lot of Emmy nods–It’s a Sin, which was also brilliantly done and brilliantly acted, was completely snubbed by the Emmys. Twenty years ago it would have not only gotten a lot of nominations, it would have probably run a clean sweep on award night, but sadly, the history of AIDS and gay suffering simply doesn’t have the cachet it did when everyone wore red ribbons to awards shows and red carpets. I do recommend the show, and I want to move the book up in my TBR pile. (I am taking Raquel’s Calypso, Corpses and Cooking with me this morning and I am hoping I’ll be able to finish it while I wait to get the car back.)

We also started watching the second season of Reacher, which is very fun. Alan Ritchson, who was already huge in the first season, used the time between filming to bulk up even more. He certainly embodies the character physically far better than Tom Cruise could ever hope to, with no offense to Cruise; he’s just not the right physical type, and since one of the best known facts about the character is his enormous size, well…he was never going to please fans of the books. I stopped reading the series about ten or so years ago–I have no grasp of the passage of time, so you’ll have to give me some grace on that, nor do I recall why I stopped reading it. Obviously, Lee Child isn’t missing my money, but I was a big fan of the series and still remember it fondly; there were some terrific books in that series, and The Killing Floor may be one of the best series-launch novels of all time.

I have to work today when I get home from the oil change and other errands this morning; I really need to spend some time with the book today and I also need to work on the house a lot more. The apartment has really slid, and allowing Sparky free range to do as he pleases has resulted in a lot of debris on the floor–and all of my good pens are missing. Paul’s cigarette lighters, highlighters, scissors, spoons, plastic wrap, plastic bags, dryer sheets, and a lot of other miscellaneous stuff is scattered all over the floors both up and downstairs…and he’s also wreaked havoc in the laundry room and the bathroom. The kitchen floor has never really been completely cleaned up since the ceiling collapse, either. I have decided, though, that this year’s Christmas present to myself is going to be a new microwave. My current one is well over ten years old, and it works fine…but I never read the manual and so am never sure how to use for anything than reheating something. Paul uses it more than I do, and he also never cleans it, so it’s always a filthy mess. Since I never really use it, I tend to not pay attention and then I always notice it when I don’t have time to clean it, and then forget. They had a great one on-line at Costco, so I think next weekend I’ll go pick it up, and then donate the old one (after a thorough cleaning) to work so we have one in our department.

And that’s how I know I am officially old: appliances are my preferred gift.

Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree

It just doesn’t feel like Christmas until I’ve read this year’s new Donna Andrews Christmas murder mystery, and spend a little time in my favorite small town in North America, Caerphilly, Virginia. It’s a marvelous place, where everyone (or most everyone) is kind, everyone goes out of their way to help people who need it without a second thought, where all the churches get along and collaborate, and there’s even a small college. I always, always, always love every chance I get to go back there and visit–and I even put aside my utter disdain and hatred for cold weather and snow when it comes to Caerphilly Christmases. I’m not sure (without actually counting) how many Meg Langslow Christmas mysteries there have been so far, but Andrews always manages to come up with something charming, fresh, and new every year, and I always get excited when I see the announcement of the pub date for the new Christmas book, and the preorder is an absolute no brainer.

“You can still change your mind, you know.”

I closed my eyes and counted to ten. Then I opened them again. I crawled out from under the rough-hewn medieval-style trestle table I’d been repairing and looked up. Alec Franzetti was staring down at me with a pleading expression on his broad, bearded face. both of his enormous, hairy hands were clutching a clipboard that held an untidy, inch-thick sheaf of paper. He gripped it tightly enough to turn his knuckles white. He looked so stressed that the temptation to snap at him vanished. I made sure my tone was gentle. Gentle, but firm.

“No, Alec,” I said. “I’m very happy doing what I’m doing.”

His face fell, and he sighed loudly.

“Is there anything I can help you with?” I stood up and gestured at the clipboard.

“Probably.” He flipped through a couple of the top papers. “Let me think.”

He glanced down at the clipboard, then wandered off, looking distracted and lost.

“Change your mind about what?” came a voice from behind me.

I jumped at the sound. Alec’s anxiety was rubbing off on me. I turned and smiled when I saw my old friend Caroline Willner.

As I said, others may think it’s not Christmas until it snows, or they’ve seen Frosty or It’s a Wonderful Life or Rudolph or A Charlie Brown Christmas, but for me it’s not Christmas until I’ve read the new Meg Langslow Christmas mystery. Caerphilly is one of my favorite fictional places, and Meg’s enormous network of friends and family never ceases to amaze me every time I dive into the pages of one of her books. What an absolutely marvelous place it is, where everyone is welcomed and everyone is treated fairly and even the little feuds that inevitably spring up between people are gently amusing. Caerphilly is a popular tourist destination, especially at Christmas; Meg’s husband does an annual one-man show reading A Christmas Carol, and even when something goes awry and someone gets murdered–every year–everything is usually handled in time for everyone to have a delightful, and love-filled holiday. The books always make me feel warm inside, and every time I close the book when I’ve finished, I smile, enormously pleased and satisfied. Somehow, Andrews has the magic touch of how to make people feel warm and happy about the holidays, without becoming treacly, melodramatic, or overly sentimental.

This year round, there’s a competition reality show filming in Caerphilly, out at the local retired heavy metal rock star’s (Ragnar Ragnarson) goth castle–Blades of Glory–and Meg is resisting being cast so they have a woman blacksmith in the competition. (Distinction, pointed out early: the show is actually about blade smithing, making weapons, which is an entirely different skillset from black smithing. A blacksmith can make blades, but can also make other things. A bladesmith specializes, obviously, in making weapons–knives, daggers, swords, etc.) Meg’s mentor and trainer, Faulk, is competing in the show–but when he is attacked from behind on the castle grounds with a baseball bat, his arm broken–Meg agrees to take his place, but only when she finds out Faulk has invested money in the show and the show falling apart could ruin him and his partner. Who could have attacked Faulk? Someone in the crew of the show, or one of the other competitors? Then there are shenanigans during the filming of the first competition being filmed; one of the contestants sabotages the others, but Meg has proof on film; she became suspicious when her forge was set at the wrong temperature, so had mini-cameras set up to record, and she has the culprit red-handed. Later on that same night, he is murdered–and the case is off and running.

This book was an absolute delight. I laughed aloud several times, and yes, sighed in satisfaction when I closed it after reading the last page.

But now I have to wait until August of next year for the next book to come out so I can visit again.

Seriously, folks, you need to read this series. I can’t rave enough about it.

All I Want for Christmas Is You

All evidence to the contrary, I do love Christmas. I love the decorations, I love the mentality behind it, I love the festive spirit that people try to keep up during the season, and I even like the music for the most part. (I also find many things wrong with American Christmas, but that’s for another time.) I detest cheap sentimentality, or melodrama for the sake of a cheap emotional response from the audience/reader. I don’t enjoy Hallmark or Lifetime Christmas movies as a genre–predictable, sickly sweet, cloyingly sentimental like cheap perfume–but I don’t care that other people do; my preference is never to yuck someone else’s yum. Obviously, there’s a big market for those films and books, but they generally aren’t for me. I just don’t buy into them when I watch, I suppose, is the best way to put it?

This is also partly why I don’t read a lot of romance novels. But when I saw that David Valdes had written a young adult Christmas romance novel, I thought, you know what? I bet this is really good, so I procured a copy and spent a lovely afternoon reading it.

I loved it.

No one can accuse my dad of being subtle. He loves Christmas the way most guys in the Pioneer Valley love the Patriots. Instead of team jerseys, he has a collection of ugly holiday sweaters that would be kind of impressive if it wasn’t so embarrassing. (Seriously, the llama ones lights up. I can’t.) So I shouldn’t be surprised that when I arrive home for my first, or maybe last, winter break from college, the house looks like, I don’t know, Frosty Con. Snowmen everywhere.

I’m so not in the mood.

Don’t get me wrong: I like Christmas well enough. Even though Halloween is my favorite holiday because of the costumes, I love all the twinkling lights, and you can’t really overplay “All I Want For Christmas Is You.” But’s it been a long day on the bus from NYC, and before it was a long day, it was a long week in a long semester. Not that I’m ready to admit that to my dad.

I purposely chose a bus that would get me home to Lindell while he was working. Yes, it’s, like, almost two miles from the bus stop in front of the old town hall to our place, but dragging my bag for forty minutes was worth it for the chance to come home to an empty house. I need some time alone in the privacy of my own room before Dad gets here and I become the grinch, the carol killer, the fly in the eggnog.

I have to tell him that I’m failing out of school.

And so we meet Cam, first semester Theater major from the small town of Lindell, Massachusetts, coming home with his head bowed and thinking he’s failed at making it in the big city. He was THE theater kid at his high school, but once he’s made it to the city and school of his dreams, he’s just another face in the crowd–and doesn’t feel like he fits in. He’s doing fine in his required courses…it’s the theater ones he’s having trouble with, and his father is working two jobs and he may lose his scholarship. He doesn’t have the heart to disappoint his father and ruin Christmas, so he bides his time with the terrible news–like everyone teen, avoiding the bad news or put it off till later. A chance trip to the new mall in town winds up with him getting a job as an elf in Santaland, where he meets his fellow elves–an older retired military man; a blonde good two-shoes, a Goth girl, and perpetually happy, cheerful and annoying Marco. He also runs into his ex, LeRoy, and isn’t sure if he wants to start up with him again or not; he dumped LeRoy the summer before he left for college, thinking it was better to not try the long-distance thing.

The best part of the job? The elves are in a competition to win a five thousand dollar prize–which will make up for the scholarship he’s losing–by winning a popular on-line vote. As the days pass and he gets to know his fellow elves better, he starts opening up a little bit himself and seeing things from perspectives other than his own. All the other elves help with this process, but especially Marco–who seems to be the embodiment of the Christmas spirit and just a genuinely kind, empathetic soul.

The book is a romantic comedy, so there are funny moments as well as the ones that make you sigh and warm your heart–all of it earned, mind you, and not there for story purposes–but it’s also about Cam growing up into a better, less self-absorbed person who maybe doesn’t project his impressions onto other people and sees them with a kinder eye. Valdes nails the teen voice perfectly; Cam is at heart a good person, if a bit too wrapped up inside his own head with his own issues and problems, but he is deftly drawn and fully conceived, so you root for him even as you groan at his poor choices; you want him to do better, be better, because he really is a good person.

I loved this story from first word to last, and I really wish these kinds of books had been available when I was a teenager. Something like Finding My Elf could be a lifeline for a kid in a bleak rural area who feels so alone and lonely and hopeless.

Perfect Christmas gift for any queer teen you may know, and frankly, it’s a strong enough read for adults, too.

God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen

Christmas and crime don’t get together often enough for my liking–although I always love to call It’s a Wonderful Life a Christmas noir, because it’s actually an incredibly dark film if you look below the effervescent sugary surface. (I’ve always wanted to write a book set in the world created had George Bailey never existed–Potterville.) Agatha Christie handled the holidays in a couple of books, most notably Murder for Christmas, and the occasional short story. (This is a good place to note that when I was talking about my own Christmas writings, I’d forgotten “The Snow Globe”, which is my most Christmas story of them all; the one I did remember to mention, “The Snow Queen,” was more a winter’s tale than a Christmas one.)

Lisa Unger is one of my favorite writers, and she’s also pretty prolific; I turned and looked away for a moment and suddenly I was way behind on reading her books. I had never caught up on the backlist, either; so I think focusing on that is a good plan for 2024. When i saw that she had written a Christmas novella, getting it was a no-brainer–and I read it in one day…and it reminded me again why I love her work so much.

I always loved Christmas. I still remember how magical it was to believe in Santa Claus, lying in bed at night, trying to stay up to hear the pitter-patter of reindeer hoofs on the roof. Then falling asleep and waking up to the tree glowing downstairs, the floor covered with gifts, my parents groggy and smiling.

I saw him, my sister would say. On the lawn, climbing out of his sleigh.

And I would be so jealous that she got to see Santa, while I couldn’t keep my eyes open long enough. She was always first. Always better. Still is.

I lean against the pole now, arching my back, all eyes on me. The music pulses and the stage lights beneath my high heels flash–purple, blue, orange, red. I am alive here, all of it moving through me. Tonight, I perform to various Katy Perry songs–a playlist I made. “Hummingbird Heartbeat.” “Peacock.” “Part of Me.” All songs that are sexy and upbeat but have a secret message. Like me. No one is listening to the music though. The smattering of men sitting on stools and in various booths, nursing drinks, are only thinking about one thing.

Ten years ago, Madeline Martin survived a brutal night in which her best friend was murdered, and two others disappeared. Maddie herself was stabbed multiple times and the side of her face slashed. Her boyfriend was convicted of the crimes and sent to prison–he was a rich bad boy exiled to their upstate New York town (but further south than the Hollows, the town Unger writes about a lot), and for whatever reason, he just kind of went nuts that night during a wild party at his home a few days before Christmas. The two sisters who vanished were never found, and the assumption has always been he killed them also and got rid of the bodies…which really doesn’t make a lot of sense. Maddie’s father was the sheriff, and he has recently had a stroke, requiring at home care, while she runs her own bookstore with some success. Maddie has also closed herself off from dating–who wouldn’t, when your high school boyfriend turned out to be a psycho killer–and at the very beginning of the book, true crime podcaster/writer Harley Granger has come to town, buying the home where the missing sisters once lived, to turn over the stones and interview people–he doesn’t believe for one moment that Evan Handy had the time and ability to not only do what witnesses saw (stabbing Maddie and killing her friend) AND kidnap and murder and hide the bodies of the missing sisters. Harley thinks Evan either had help, or there’s an unrelated serial killer operating in the area–and the disappearance of a stripper named Lolly from the area is proof–along with some other young women gone missing in the years since that nightmare of a night that Maddie can barely remember.

This is Lisa Unger at her best; she writes brilliantly, defining and developing realistic characters that the reader can identify with and relate to and root for; delving into the psychology of what it must be like to survive a night like the one Maddie did as a teenager allows for complexity and many layers and facets to her character, and despite the shortness of the story (compared to Unger’s novels), it’s fully realized, compelling, and hard to put down. Unger’s pacing is urgent, grabs you by the throat and refuses to let go until you’ve turned the final page.

Which is why she is one of my favorite writers.