Every day’s a holiday on Primrose Lane…
Well, good morning, Constant Reader! I am currently fighting Sparky for space on my desk. Seeing him sprawled across my desk this morning has made me realize just how big he’s getting. YIKES. I feel rested this morning–another good night’s sleep, which was very welcome–and pretty good overall. I wrote last night when I got home, and it felt good. I didn’t read my book last night at all, much to my own regret, but Paul got home shortly after I moved over to the easy chair and we finished Young Royals, which we enjoyed (even if we got annoyed with certain characters at various times) before going to bed relatively early. This week is going to be busy at work, so I am trying to steel myself for facing the next few days. I hope to stay on the writing roll I started last night, and get some progress made before the weekend. I also need to finish my taxes, sigh; an odious chore to be sure, but there’s nothing more patriotic than paying your taxes. I SAID WHAT I SAID.
It was also a little surreal this morning to wake up to a Facebook tag for Banned Books Week here in New Orleans for September–and to see the reason I was tagged was because someone is going to be reading MY work. That was startling, to say the least, but kind of cool. No one ever seemed to care about the fact that I was banned–particularly when it was happening–and I eventually got tired of telling the story and hoping someone else would be as outraged about the entire experience as I was. (NARRATOR VOICE: No one ever was, outside of the ACLU of Virginia.) I overheard someone saying after a panel I was on, where it came up, sometime in the late aughts, “I am so tired of him telling that story over and over again” and so I stopped talking about it much, even on here. Now that I am remembering that bitch (cis white woman, of course, and probably from fucking Metairie), I should have tapped her on the shoulder and said, “Imagine having to live it, bitch.”
That thought–about that woman, and being banned and no one caring (not even my local newspaper covered the story, at least not that I can recall; on the other hand, maybe they did and I just never saw it)–led me around a circular driveway to another point, the one that I’ve thought a lot about lately: why do I always have such a chip on my shoulder when it comes to writing? I think it has to do with primarily my own issues, really; I just assumed people weren’t treating me like a serious person and were dismissive of me because I did work out and stay in shape; something I didn’t quite understand–why shouldn’t writers take care of themselves? It also has to do with the horrific experience I had in college with my first writing teacher–you’ll never be a published writer so you need to find another dream (I was reminded of this lately because I was asked if someone could use the introduction to the ebook of Murder in the Rue Dauphine as a blog entry for a writing site, and that introduction is where I tell that story. Sidebar: I had also forgotten completely that I’d done a new introduction to the reissue, which will fit nicely into my essay collection). So I always felt that not only was I fighting all the odds against being a published writer but I had to also additionally prove that I wasn’t a lunkhead gym bunny.
Maybe this was all in my head? It’s entirely possible–generalized anxiety disorder could have easily put that all into my mind. Sigh.
This decade has been interesting for me. The world is on fire, of course, and has been for quite some time; but my little corner of the world has been very different. Granted, there was a pandemic and all of those things, but my longevity in this business–which is really my stubborn refusal to ever give up–seems to be starting to pay dividends of a sort, I guess? The “academy”, whatever that may be, may still not take me or my work seriously, but longevity eventually begins to work in your favor; i.e. “you’ve lasted this long, so there must be something to your work.” And you know what? I’ll take it. Really, probably thinking that way about five or ten years ago would have irritated me and got my back up a bit; now I don’t care so much about the things that seemed to matter so much to me back in the early days. Ultimately, none of it mattered. I have had an enviable career, once I divorce myself from it and view it from an outside perspective. Well over forty novels, fifty short stories, and I’ve edited over twenty anthologies. I’ve lost count of the award nominations, and don’t care enough to go back and try to count them all. I’ve gotten some pretty great reviews, and I have a readership, or following, or whatever you want to call it.
I really have nothing to complain about.
And on that rather introspective note, I am heading into the spice mines. May your Tuesday be terrific, and I may check in with you again later.
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