Tag: Are You Man Enough?

The Bird Hunters

Wednesday!

It was cold here yesterday, but we didn’t get any snow, more’s the pity. I actually enjoyed the snow days we had earlier this year; it was so weird and beautiful, and the way it made the city look was also strangely gorgeous. I screen-shot or grabbed so many pictures of it from all over the Internet…I am even thinking about setting a Scotty during the snow (Bayou Blizzard Boogie, which is an extremely fun title, and the book could get one of those snowy images of the city for the cover and…this is how my brain works, y’all, and you wonder why I question my sanity at times? What do you mean, you don’t wonder about it because it’s so obvious? How very dare you! lol). But the cold is now gone; it’s in the fifties this morning, with a high predicted in the seventies, so we’re back to normal weather for New Orleans November.

Yesterday was a good day, more or less. Yes, we were busy at work and yes, I was the only counselor working in the clinic (the rest of the week and month, it looks like), but I got through it. I’m a little behind again on admin duties, but I think I’ll be able to catch up this afternoon. The morning was back to back when I last looked yesterday, but the afternoon wasn’t quite as intense. I managed to get home and do chores last night (huzzah!) before settling in to finish off The Diplomat‘s third season, which is spectacular. HIGHLY recommend this show; if you’ve not already seen it, jump in head first. You won’t regret it.

I also started making my to-do list yesterday; yes, it’s rather late to make a weekly to-do list, but I can make a new one every Monday and ease my way back into the habit of the lists and following them; the organization of this pleases my anxiety to no end. I need to put “clean out inbox” on it, because the list of my unanswered emails is getting rather lengthy, and there are few things I like better than opening my inbox and seeing nothing in it. I do not miss the days of volunteer work that resulted in hundreds more emails every week. The problem is when there’s not a lot to answer it’s very easy to blow it off for another day, and since I always lose track of days and time, next thing I know it’s been a few weeks! My apologies to anyone who’s expecting an email from me…

But it’s actually been a good week. No fatigue, which has been marvelous, and just normal being 64 tired, which is lovely. My body has been through the ringer already this decade, and so it’s not that unusual for me to still not be back to whatever the new normal is going to be. I worried that the fatigue and exhaustion was the new normal, but that doesn’t appear to be the case. The most important thing for me to do is ensure I never have a relapse with the colitis, although it will never ever get as bad as it was when I had to be hospitalized, since we now know what the problem is and it doesn’t need to be diagnosed, and my GI specialist will know what to do to get me through it as quickly as possible. I don’t think I’ll ever lose that much weight that quickly ever again, either. DO NOT RECOMMEND.

I also started organizing bigger projects for my newsletter. Ooooh, Gregalicious, explain more! I’ve been wanting to tackle two subjects there–masculinity and religion–but have been hesitant because they are such big topics, and there is some crossover between the two. It occurred to me this weekend that I could simply pick subjects that fall under either umbrella and post/write/share as chapters. How cool! (I’d also been idly thinking about writing a continuing story there when the lightbulb went on over my head; it is truly sad how oblivious I can be to the obvious.) So, now I am pulling all the essay ideas I have for either topic into one document with a descriptive paragraph–an outline, if you will–so I can get started with both: the masculinity essays will go under the over-arching umbrella of “Are You Man Enough?” and religion will go under “Recovering Christian.”

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely midweek Wednesday, Constant Reader, and I will check in with you again tomorrow.

The Ramses II temple at Abu Simbel at night. This must be beautiful to see from the Nile.

Unchained Melody

Sunday morning in the Lost Apartment and yesterday was a rather lovely day, in all honesty. I didn’t put any pressure on myself, but did make some progress on the apartment itself. I cleared out two boxes off the top of the cabinets, and know now what the others are–and know they can simply go into the attic once it is cleared out. This means…I am getting to the point where I can start working on the attic. This pleases me enormously, and there’s some other stuff that needs to be done here in the workspace this morning before I make a minor grocery run. We watched this week’s Bad Monkey, which I am loving, and then some more Solar Opposites. I also managed to get a week’s worth of dishes taken care of–I was really lazy and taking advantage of the entire “birthday week” excuse this week, I am a bit red-faced to admit–and reminded myself to never let it get that bad again…which will last probably about a week.

I also watched the Georgia Tech-Florida State game. I simply flipped over to it while looking for a movie to watch (to no avail; nothing sounded good) to see the score, and saw the end of the second half with the score tied 14-14. That intrigued me enough to continue watching, and it turned out to be a rather good game, as Georgia Tech kicked a field goal on the last play of the game to upset #10 Florida State, 24-21. It was a great game–I do sometimes watch college football when I don’t care about either team–made even greater by the upset win for Georgia Tech (I am not a FSU fan), and that kind of got me into the mood for football season. LSU’s first game is this weekend; Sunday evening in Las Vegas, of all places. I have no idea how good LSU is going to be this year–I am not one of those people who reads analysts and so forth and practice reports; they are meaningless really until it’s actually a game and they’re keeping score. I prefer to be surprised, and college football is always full of surprises. I don’t even pay attention to the NFL preseason, either.

I wasn’t a complete sloth yesterday. I did do some things around the house, and looking around this morning, there’s more that needs to be done. I’m not used to having all this free time, which is the primary adjustment I am having to make in the present day…and it’s kind of nice, you know? I still need to figure out how to be more productive, and how to utilize the time, but I worked so hard for so very long and never had a minute’s peace for so long that it’s just kind of nice to not be worried about things anymore. I plan to spend some time this morning straightening up the kitchen again, and picking things up and filing, and I also want to do the floors. I didn’t leave the house yesterday so I have to make that grocery run today (to make dinner tonight I have to go), but that’s not a big deal, really. It’s nice, though, to not be stressed and anxious about not working in my free time.

I even thought about writing projects yesterday. I am really leaning towards shelving Never Kiss a Stranger for now; I realized yesterday it was one of those stupid “stubbornly obsessive” things that I get into my head every once in a while. I remembered yesterday that originally I had intended to finish my novella collection this summer, which meant working on that, and then I realized it was more of a book than a novella, and decided to write that for the summer. And even though I was having trouble with it on almost every level of turning what I already had into a novel, I was stubbornly refusing to shelve it and move on, which was counter-productive. No one cares if I finish that book now or at some other time, or if I never write it at all. So, I am going to put it aside for now and forget about it for a while. It only makes sense to get back into regular writing with a Scotty book, and a Scotty book will be somewhat easier for me to write…and easier for me to get back into the swing of writing again after so much time away from it.

I also realized that the MAGA meltdown over Gus Walz was an excellent way to open my essay “Are You Man Enough?”, and so I did scribble some notes on that yesterday as well. I am actually kind of looking forward to this work week, believe it or not, and I do think getting to work on another Scotty–Hurricane Season Hustle–will be a lot more fun for me going forward.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Sunday, Constant Reader, and I will check in with you again tomorrow.

Screenshot

Story

Yesterday was a bit of an emotionally challenging one at work yesterday, but handling days like yesterday is the most important part of my job, and part of the primary reason I took the job in the first place. It does get to me sometimes; not as often as one might think, but that’s also having years of experience in doing the work, too. I was emotionally and mentally tired when I got off work, decided not to run any errands and just come home to have some time to myself for a little while instead. There were chores that needed doing, of course, so I put on my big boy pants and went to work. Chores are always lovely when you’re processing things, or when you’re writing something. I like how satisfying it feels to be doing something mindless with your hands while your mind works away at something.

I did manage to do some work on the sequel to Death Drop, and got about 1200 words down, so that’s something. It wasn’t as easy as the work was on Sunday, but I was also better rested then and hadn’t already worked a full day when I sat down to work on the first chapter of the new Valerie, too. Both manuscripts are starting to come together in my mind, which is nice–but I am not sure if this “work on one for a chapter and then switch to the other” is going to be productive or help me at all in getting them both done, either. And the chores helped me assess the chapter and come up with the things that need to be said and written in it, which I will do tonight. So yay for the chores again!

I’ve been toying with the idea for a blog entry for several years now that is actually turning into a longer-form essay. (It’s been sitting in my drafts for a very long time here.) It began as a response to a homophobic op/ed run in a college paper at a major Southern university that was so incredibly offensive on every possible level (there wasn’t a homophobic dog-whistle the little bigot writer didn’t blow) that it was hard to believe a college student in this day and age could write, unashamedly and with such great pleasure and glee, such incredibly bigoted rhetoric disguised as “concern” when what was actually written was nothing more than an uninformed, un-researched, and completely emotional rant, entirely based in nothing factual. All it did was merely give the author a chance to expose their anger and feelings of contempt for queer people. That person should never ever be given any kind of platform again under any fucking circumstance–unless she goes to work for the Murdochs. That post then continued growing, until it became something else entirely, eventually consuming another blog post draft I’d been toying with for a very long time about authenticity and #ownvoices and cultural appropriation. It’s a separate piece from the other essay I’ve been developing (“Are You Man Enough?” about masculinity)–apparently, I’m getting into the writing of essays now, even though no one will want to ever publish them–but it’s something I feel strongly about, especially with that recent nonsensical essay making the rounds about gay romance that erases gay writers almost completely. Yes, yes, we get it, you think straight women invented gay romance.

You can say it a million times, you can even believe it–but that still doesn’t make it true.

Erasure of queer people is an ongoing effort.

The water situation in New Orleans–always dire, no matter how you look at it really–is finally getting national attention (which means I’m hearing about it from friends and family), and this is a question/problem that is going to continue, and not just here, either. Florida seems just as determined to make a quick buck at every moment without any concern for their fresh water supply, which is being steadily poisoned by chemicals and other pollutants; I am sure the rise of the seas is going to also gradually impact the Florida aquifer, too, as well as those of cities along rivers on the coasts. Now imagine a major hurricane coming this way and sending a twenty-foot storm surge of saltwater up the river. It was never a concern before…but it is from now on. Yay! Obviously, Louisiana’s environmental issues are something I’ve always been concerned about, but the concern is definitely ratcheting up a lot lately. This brutally hot summer, the drought, the river level being so low for so long…it’s hard not to think about it. It should be our legislature’s primary concern…but they’re too busy legislating against trans people and banning books because, you know, priorities.

I also started watching, while waiting for Paul to come home from work last night, some old episodes of the original Dark Shadows, which I’ve been thinking about a lot lately. The funny thing about the show and my memories of it are that I don’t really remember a lot of the storylines or characters beyond the original; probably because the “Barnabas is a vampire” storyline was also made into a feature film (House of Dark Shadows) and when the series was rebooted in 1989, they started with that same storyline. Prime used to have the individual episodes; now they have them bunched together with titles–I was watching the episodes when Quentin (David Selby) first came on the show; the grouping is called The Haunting of Collinwood, which made it more fun because I don’t know how the storyline runs–although I know Quentin became one of the stars of the show so this evil persona he’s inhabiting here inevitably must be redeemed. I may have to rent House of Dark Shadows to watch again.

As you can see, I am starting to get into the Halloween Horror Month spirit already!

And on that note I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Wednesday (oh! It’s Pay-the-Bills day!) and I’ll talk to you again later.