Teen Beat

Ah, being a teenager. A lot of people look back on their teen years through rose-colored glasses, always smiling wistfully about the ‘best times’ of their lives. This always makes me reel back from the screen; it’s unfathomable to me that people miss being in high school. I made the best of high school, as I always try to make the best of every situation I find myself in, willingly or no; but you do eventually reach the point where you are so sick of the bullshit and the bullies and the assholes that it can’t end soon enough. I managed to make the best of high school all the way up until the second semester of my senior year, when I just reached the breaking point and just didn’t fucking care anymore–about my classmates, the other kids, the teachers, everything. I kept making the best of Kansas for another year or so–and when my parents were transferred while I was in college to California, I didn’t even think twice about deciding to leave Kansas in my rear view mirror.(I’ve also never been back since that snowy February night when I boarded Amtrak and headed west, either, other than in my fiction.) So, you’re probably wondering why I write about Kansas; why I dig into all those unpleasant memories and the horrible way I used to feel every day. In some ways, I suppose, it’s therapeutic; dealing with the memories and processing them now that I’m older, more centered and stable, and no longer hate myself. But…those are the important memories for writing about teenagers, which I do fairly regularly.

It’s always important to process your traumas by writing about them, I suppose.

It’s work-at-home Friday and Gregalicious slept a little late this morning. I was very tired last night–even fell asleep in my easy chair around ten, woke up just before eleven, and then proceeded home. I was too tired after work to get much done around here, or to do any writing, so I will definitely have to make up for that today and this weekend, once the work duties are done. I also have to get to the gym this morning to get back to the working out. After the Festivals and Paul got sick, my hands were a bit full and working out after being pronounced healed just wasn’t possible. Now I have to get back into it, adding a couple of back and chest exercises into the mix, and even having an official Leg Day work out, so as I get my strength and stamina back I can start using heavier weights and gradually get myself back to the point where I can workout the way I used to, before all the injuries and depression and so forth all kicked me off the gym wagon; hopefully by the summer I’ll be able to get myself back into some semblance of good physical condition again.

I suspect the tired thing will never go away.

We started watching Ripley last night around the Fayetteville Regional for NCAA Gymnastics, which LSU won while not having their best night, and I have to say I am enjoying it thus far. It’s a slow burn, but it’s incredibly stylish, and the black-and-white cinematography is terrific. The shots are amazing, and Andrew Scott manages to give Tom an air of menace, a kind of emotional flatness Matt Damon couldn’t have pulled off in the Minghella film version. I think part of the reason for the steady slow burn of the plot is because there’s not a lot of material…the book is actually very short (Highsmith was never wordy and rarely wasted time on back story), and my sense is that Scott’s Tom is much more like Highsmith’s ideation than the Minghella film. With all the comparisons made of Saltburn to Ripley, I’ve been thinking about the book and the Minghella film again, and this Netflix version seems like the Ripley Hitchcock would have made, which makes it more interesting to me. At first I was a little bummed not to see the Amalfi Coast in color; Italy is so beautiful, after all, but the black and white gives it a more pristine and polished look that is beautiful in an entirely different way. I’m looking forward to watching the rest of the show to see how it flows and develops–as well as comparing it to the book, the Matt Damon film, and Saltburn. It actually has made me rather happy that I haven’t finished my essay on Saltburn yet.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines for the day. Have a lovely Friday, and I may check in again later.

I Just Called To Say I Love You

How was your Thanksgiving? Ours was rather lovely; we had our deep dish pizza and a lovely visit with our friend Lisa; then Paul and I watched three movies on Netflix: Fourth Man Out, Closet Monster, and Handsome Devil. We also watched another episode of a Hulu original series, Future Man; which we had given one more episode to get better. And the fourth episode definitely delivered. We laughed a lot all the way through it; and it finally started delivering on its premise.

The three movies were all gay films, which we generally don’t watch very often. I know I should be supportive of gay films, but so often they’re aren’t very good–or at least that used to be the case. When a major studio makes one (Philadelphia, In and Out, To Wong Foo, etc.) they’re awful; indies always mean well but don’t have the budget to really do them well or cast good actors, so we stopped watching them a long time ago. Every so often, a film like Beautiful Thing or Latter Days will come along, but still, fairly rare. My incredibly cynical self is very pleased to say that the three films we watched yesterday were enjoyable in varying degrees, which also makes me tend to think that perhaps we should watch more gay cinema. And really, isn’t mainstream film always a crapshoot, too?

Fourth Man Out was the first movie we watched; its about a group of four guys who’ve been best friends since they were kids and then one of them comes out to the others. It was a comedy, so the coming out was handled in a comedic fashion; the friends were a little taken aback, and then there was some awkwardness about what you can or can’t say around your gay friend which was sweet and kind of cute. The gay character was a mechanic, so there was a sense to me of ‘see, a gay guy can be just a regular guy’ about the movie which was well-intentioned but…the really charming part of the movie was watching the friends try to help him navigate the gay dating world, and there was a really charming scene where they take him to his first gay bar. And the ‘meeting someone from on-line’ trope was treated as comedy (and who hasn’t met someone whose picture wasn’t them?) and there were some moments that I thought might have been in questionable taste–but overall the film was charming. The lead, gay Adam, was played by Evan Todd, who’s very good-looking:

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His best friend, Chris–and their relationship/chemistry was quite charming, was played by the impossibly good-looking Parker Young:

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Another one of the guys was played by Glee’s Chord Overstreet, almost recognizable in a heavy beard. But the movie’s true charm was the relationship between Adam and Chris; how they learn from each other and grow and finally find their perfect matches because of their friendship.

Closet Monster starred Connor Jessup from American Crime, who is an appealing and talented young actor I would pretty much watch in anything.

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This movie was apparently very popular on the indie art film festival circuit and won lots of awards; for me, it was the weakest of the three and were it not for Connor Jessup, we would have probably stopped watching. As a little boy, around the time his parents broke up in a very nasty and volatile break-up, young Oscar witnessed a violent hate crime against a gay teenager–and that, plus the divorce, have been deeply internalized and traumatized him as he comes of age as a gay teenager with an interest in horror movies and a desire to become a make-up artist for horror films. He’s applied to the best school for this in New York, and cannot wait to get away from this awful town he lives in. He’s desperately unhappy–who can’t relate to that–with big dreams, and is developing a crush on another boy he works with at a Home Depot type store. Wilder, played by Aliocha Schneider, is coolly confident in himself and tries to draw Oscar out of his own shell, with some success.

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The point of the movie is ultimately that Oscar needs to stop spinning his wheels and move in a positive direction in his life; and it does eventually get there after a bizarre costume party where he has his first sexual experience with a stranger and comes to terms with his feelings for his mother; his relationship with his father remains unresolved. But it was an arty film; Oscar’s hamster speaks to him in Isabella Rossellini’s voice–he got the hamster originally the day his mother left his father so it symbolizes the last time he was happy; and there’s a lot of moments where the director slaps the viewer in the face with his symbolism and hidden depths. There are some gorgeous shots, particularly at the end, but there are also some serious plot holes. But as I said, Connor Jessup is a very talented and appealing young actor, and he carries the entire movie.

The last film we watched, Handsome Devil, was by far and away the best of the three. Set in an Irish boarding school obsessed with its rugby team, it’s from the point of view of young Ned, who is bullied by his schoolmates in no small part because he doesn’t care about rugby and doesn’t fit in; he is played charmingly by Fionn O’Shea. He comes back to school against his will–his father and stepmother live in Dubai and for some reason he can’t live with them there; it’s kind of implied that he’s an inconvenience for them. He’s delighted when he gets to school to find out he’s got a single room and won’t be sharing. There’s also a really funny sequence where he talks about his English teacher; he simply turns in the lyrics to old songs for papers and get’s A’s; the song that is handed back to him with an A written on it to illustrate this voice over is Lou Reed’s “Walk on the Walk Side,” which is hilarious if you know the words.

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But he winds up with a roommate after all, Connor. Connor can’t go back to his old school–he was kicked out for ‘fighting’–AND it turns out Connor is a great rugby player; the long-missing piece for the school’s team which will make them champions. Ned reacts by moving all of their furniture to the center of the room, kind of forming a Berlin wall. They also have a new English teacher this term, Mr. Sherry, who is played by Sherlock’s Andrew Scott. Mr. Sherry, and his class, reminded me of Dead Poets’ Society, and I don’t think that was accidental. But Ned and Connor slowly become friends–Connor is Ned’s first friend, really–and of course there’s the requisite homophobia (they all treat Ned like he’s gay, but we never really know for sure) and obstacles for the boys to face before the film’s end. This movie is really charming, and is about friendship, and has some absolutely lovely moments. O’Shea is fantastic as Ned, and you can’t help but root for him as he learns who he is and what being a friend really means; Nicholas Galitzine plays Connor and does a fine job with a less complex part; but the chemistry between the two boys is terrific. I highly recommend this movie.

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It was also highly educational to watch these films, and it also made me realize that I’m a bit of a snob when it comes to gay-themed films; I should probably watch more of them in the future–and I think I’m going to. Watching these movies reminded me of the kinds of novels Kensington used to publish after the turn of the century; particularly the novels of Timothy James Beck. I miss those novels, and Kensington did a great job of finding and publishing fun gay-themed novels in those days. I was one of Kensington’s authors; Kensington was where the first three Scotty books were published, and pulling together the Scotty Bible has also put me in mind of those days again. Kensington first published Rob Byrnes,  and also those wonderful novels by Michael Thomas Ford. Kensington was also home to William J. Mann’s fiction, from The Biograph Girl to The Men from the Boys, All-American Boy, and several others; Kensington also published Andrew Beierle’s The Winter of Our Discotheque, which remains to this day one of my favorite gay novels.

Sigh.

And now back to the spice mines.