Tag: Alabama

Docklands

Work at home Friday and I have to go get labs drawn this morning before my doctor’s appointment next Friday. So I can’t have anything to eat, and just black coffee before. No thanks. I’ll make a cup of coffee in a go-mug and take it with me, and once my blood is drawn I will start slurping it down.

Okay, I went and am back and am finally on my first cup, which is wonderful, I have to say. It started raining on my short drive over to Quest, and I was in and out in less than fifteen minutes. On my way home, it started pouring, so I got very wet getting from the car to the apartment and it was kind of fun. It’s still rainy and very gray outside, which is one of those lovely days for staying inside and being cozy, you know? I have a meeting this morning, and work-at-home duties as always, but I want to get some chores done and maybe some reading and writing, if the rain holds.

I was tired when I got home from work, making a bit of groceries on the way, but I still managed to get some things done. I emptied the dishwasher and refilled it (it’s running now), did a load of clothes, and worked on the kitchen while waiting for Paul to get home so we could watch the season 4 finale of The Traitors (which was fun, but more on that at another time), so I don’t have quite as much work on the house to get done today and tomorrow. Huzzah! I also know there’s a part of my brain–controlled by medication now, but it’s definitely there–that doesn’t let me write when my apartment isn’t up to my personal code; because if there’s any excuse to not write I will always jump on it. Now, I’m just not as aware of it as I used to be, if that makes sense? Now I just think oh, maybe not today and there’s always tomorrow but then tomorrow comes and I don’t want to, anymore. I actually had the thought this week–after dealing with my taxes–you know, I wouldn’t have to do this if I didn’t write anymore but that intrusive thought was quickly followed by yeah but as long as books are in print you’ll be getting royalties to be taxed on and what the hell will I do with myself if I stop? I also had an errant thought about how much I dislike the marketing side of writing (I always feel like a sideshow freak hawking snake oil), which was also one of those “for real for real” moments; but I have no choice. I am a compulsive writer, and sometimes it seems like I need a contract to make a project seem real enough for me to actually do it, you know?

There’s no better motivator than a looming deadline!

Hmm, it looks like it’s getting lighter outside so maybe this rain has passed. It wasn’t really much, maybe enough to stop the wildfires in the swamps and wetlands in the east if we were lucky (this year’s fire isn’t nearly as bad as it has been in previous years, where you can smell and almost taste the smoke). We’re in that weird post-Carnival pre-festival season weather window, where it can turn on a dime–damp and cold one day, gorgeous and hot the next, which is the time most locals have sinus and some kind of crud issues. My coffee also seems to be kicking in and I feel pretty good, to be honest. My head is clearing, and once I finish this and my meeting I am probably going to get cleaned up and get started on some work. I am going to run my errands tomorrow–parking in the neighborhood is always an issue during week days–since I have books to take to the library sale. LSU Gymnastics is also hosting Alabama tonight, so that takes care of tonight’s television entertainment (I do have to say, though, if you’ve not watched any of The Traitors, it’s a highly entertaining show and the absolute perfect escape for these times–watching it alongside the Olympics was highly enjoyable.)

And now, I think I am going to get another cup of coffee and make breakfast. Have a lovely Friday, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back again tomorrow morning.

Fitness influencer Polo Marin

Destiny

Thursday and my last day in the office this week, praise Jesus. It’s not been my best week, what with the insomnia and tiredness. It’s kind of ironic that after finally getting past the endless fatigue of the past few years, and finally getting excellent sleep for months…that the insomnia has come back. I think it’s over-caffeination, frankly–lots of coffee these last few days, which wasn’t smart; yesterday morning I really felt the effects. Not to mention the endless irritation that social media has become, with bots flooding feeds with racism, misogyny, homophobia, and the most disgusting ableism and infantilization of people with people with medical conditions that I despair of this world and start rooting for the meteor strike–failing that, any extinction event on this planet would probably be a boon to the rest of the universe. I think maybe my weariness at this insane dumpster fire we’re living through might be seeping into my soul.1 I won’t let the bastards win, though–and if they send me to a camp, well, I’ll be defiant until they kill me.

I’m not, and never will be, a good little German.

And I did sleep better last night. I feel better this morning, if my legs are a bit tired. I definitely hit a wall yesterday afternoon after lunch, and was so tired that I thought it was Thursday by the end of the day. I ran an errand on the way home and had groceries delivered, and I also did some chores and picked up a bit before collapsing into my easy chair with Sparky for the evening. We finished off Season 3 of The Traitors–so much traitor on traitor violence!–and did not see that ending coming at all. Maybe when the show has been around longer, and people are more familiar with it and how it works, the players will watch past seasons and catch the patterns and shifts in how people inevitably end up going along with other people when they can’t make up their own minds–or how easily people can be manipulated and steered, which is part of its appeal, I think, and when the players talk about learning lessons about themselves from playing, I can totally see that. We at home viewers can roll our eyes at players being deceived, or making insane leaps of logic, often outsmarting themselves in the process–but we also aren’t there, and we are only being shown bits and pieces of their days and their interactions–and it is possible to bond very quickly with people when you’re completely immersed in a group with no outside contact–like fraternity hell weeks, or boot camp–and it’s also a very good lesson in how perceptive and intuitive you are–as well as making you doubt yourself. The finale of season 4 airs tonight, and we shall see if Alabama Rob can pull it off with his sweet demeanor, blue eyes, and prettiness.

Never trust a pretty Southern boy from rural Alabama. Just sayin’.

The hockey mess continues, and the Olympic players keep digging themselves in deeper, and the NHL and the teams aren’t helping matters at all, either. Every social media post gets ratioed, and apparently they are hoping to ignore it till the season ends and hope it all goes away before next season. That’s how ignorant they are in their misogyny; they don’t understand women in the least. Women are, as a general rule, incredible in their ability to maintain a grudge (I admire that because I am similar). I sure as hell carry grudges to the grave with me. I’ve been to Colorado exactly twice in my life since they passed anti-gay legislation decades ago; it has since been repealed an Colorado is mostly blue now…but I still won’t spend my money there, and my visits were work-related. I just mentally crossed Colorado off my list of places to visit, and never thought about it again. Likewise, I am not too keen on ever doing anything to help Florida economically, either. When I visit my family over in Panama City Beach-which is rare–I buy gas before I cross the state line into Florida, and make sure I wait till I cross it again on the way home. Any little bit I can do to not help their economy, I am so there.

But it looks like the women’s team–and all the women medalists–are going to have a massive celebratory party in Las Vegas thrown by Flavor Flav, and companies are stepping up to participate or sponsor it. Hope those cold double cheeseburgers and Aquafina water bottles (warm, I’ll bet) and ketchup packets in that back-ass tacky conference room was so much better than anything the women will experience in Las Vegas–and the women are also getting a lot of endorsement deals. The men’s accomplishment is forever stained and tainted by allowing themselves to be used as political props for a pedophile who hates women. Job well done, assholes. The “honor” of a White House visit? There’s no honor in being used like that, and then lapping it up as you lick the very boots of the monster who is stealing your glory and using it to prop his unpopular ass up. This will haunt you until the days you die…because the Internet is forever and if you think the women players are going to forget how you pissed all over the “friends” you pretend to “support”?

But no worries guys–there’s always prostitutes and gold-diggers to fuck. And as for the NHL’s so-called “Girl Dad” campaign? It’s kind of abhorrent now that we know those dads are okay with the sex trafficking of children. That’s a very specific version of utter ick.

Ugh.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a great day, and I will be here again tomorrow!

  1. Those of you thinking the next election will change things, may I direct you to the elections of 2008 and 2020? ↩︎

Got My Name Changed Back

Saturday morning in the Lost Apartment, and all is well so far, at any rate. It’s cold this morning here in my workspace; but it will warm up during the day. I slept really well last night, and feel pretty good. Sparky got me up a little later than usual, and of course, the pile of blankets was enormously comfortable last night, too. I had the Oklahoma-Alabama game on last night while I did other things, and it was a decent game, from what I actually watched of it, with Alabama finally breaking whatever hold it was Oklahoma had over them these past two seasons and beating them. Good on you, Alabama. I imagine I will have the games on today while doing other things–after getting home from my errands that I need to do this morning. Yesterday was a good day; I got my work done and attended my meeting and worked on the apartment. I did a shit ton of laundry and cleaned the apartment thoroughly, even doing the living room floor. There’s some chores left for me to do in the kitchen, but it already looks so much better down here this morning! I also worked on the voice for Chlorine–which is crucial to getting to work on it, you know?

It’s always nice to have a lovely day, you know? It’s also super great to feel good without the exhaustion and fatigue, too. I think my dad and the doctor are 100% correct and the ulcerative colitis began in the summer off 2020, which is when the fatigue and exhaustion began, and the dehydration. It’s also nice to know that my bitter condemnations of myself as being lazy for not getting more done (which used to be the default setting) wasn’t actually laziness but a physical thing. I can’t remember feeling this good…so it’s been a hot minute, don’t you think?

One of the things I did yesterday was map out my essay series about my interest in Egypt and Egyptian things, and it was rather lengthy! I was trying to remember books about or set in Egypt (crime novels, mostly) that I read when I was a kid–I’m trying to remember the influences on me as a writer and how I got interested in certain things–and was amazed at how many there actually were, you know? And I am pretty certain I am not remembering everything, but the things I do remember are pretty clear and vivid in my head. I mean, Amelia Peabody is one of my favorite fictional characters of all time, so it would be very hard to forget a favorite character from a favorite author, wouldn’t it? I can’t really remember what triggered my interest in ancient Egypt; whether it was from the Encyclopedia or the movie Cleopatra, or even if it was one of those things. I just known I have had a lifelong interest in the art, architecture, and history of the ancient kingdom. (I also didn’t know how to pronounce pharaoh for years, pronouncing it “fair-ah-oh.”) I’ve also always wanted to write about Egypt; I’ve always been fascinated by Akhenaten and his religious revolution, and it’s aftermath–I also remember being endlessly interested in Tutankhamen. I know those Time/Life Great Ages of Man books triggered a lot of my imagination and interest in history.

I guess maybe I should have been an historian, and specialized in the sixteenth century. Oh, well. Coulda shoulda woulda never does anyone any good, does it?

If the weather is nice and lovely tomorrow, I think I am going to take a walk through the neighborhood with my phone, taking daytime pictures of Christmas decorations, and maybe on the night of Christmas Eve Eve, I’ll do it after I get home from work to capture them at night.

And on that note, I am going to go read for a bit before heading into the spice mines for the day. Have a great Saturday, Constant Reader, and I’ll check back in with you again tomorrow.

The perspective on this shot is off, but in a kind of delightful way

Ghost Town

Monday morning and back to the office with me in a little bit. It is very dark this morning, and I kept waking up all night, too. But I feel okay this morning, if a bit tired, and that’s perfectly fine. It is the last week of October, after all; but I am going to run my Halloween Horror Month into the weekend as well. It was a nice weekend overall. I loved the rain and the coziness of it all on Friday night and most of the day Saturday and even into Sunday. Next weekend we also gain an hour of sleep–which means it will definitely be dark every night when I come home from the office. That always feels a bit oppressive, but I’ll live through it, I suppose.

LSU fired Brian Kelly yesterday, after Saturday night’s embarrassing debacle in Tiger Stadium (the students apparently were chanting “Fire Brian Kelly” in the fourth quarter), so the season is pretty much over now for sure. Interesting that we’ve fired every coach since NIck Saban left two decades ago…but Kelly also breaks the streak of three consecutive coaches winning a natty, too. I was never a fan of Coach Kelly–he never impressed me when he was at Notre Dame–and I also thought the way he fucked them over to come to LSU was kind of shitty. But he was hired and deserved a chance to prove himself, but after that first season’s win over Alabama and Jayden Daniels’ Heisman Trophy (both of which were more due to Daniels’ talents rather than anything else), he kind of has been on a bit of a skid. I have no idea who the new coach will be, or what will happen with the players, but here we are. Things are really not looking well for Louisiana football this year, with only Tulane really holding up the state’s football honor.

Who would have thunk it? Roll Wave!

I started reading Scott Carson’s Lost Man’s Lane, but after binge-reading Holukoa Road on Saturday (you can read my review of it here, if you like) my reading brain was a bit fried yesterday and I didn’t get very deep into the book. We binge-watched the rest of Alien: Earth yesterday, which was a lot of fun and very interesting. I also got the Scotty epilogue done and turned in yesterday, so for now I am going to bask in the glow of being finished with that before diving into anything else. I don’t think I have anything else promised anywhere, so I can focus on things I want to write and see what happens to them when I throw them at the wall, right?

I also watched Scream 2 yesterday, and rewatching it so soon after a Scream rewatch reminded me of how much better the first was than the second. The second was good, don’t get me wrong; but it wasn’t as ground-breaking and clever as the first, nor was it as layered. But it was clever; it just wasn’t as clever as the first. Next weekend I’ll probably watch Scream 3, the original trilogy, and will most likely watch the next three before the release of Scream 7.

Tonight after work I have to run some errands on the way home, and then I hope to get a few chores (dishes, mostly) taken care of once I get home. The weather is going to be more fall-like after today–this week has highs in the upper sixties/lows in the fifties, which won’t be a ton of fun, but I am embracing it this year. LSU also has the weekend off, so I won’t be as pressed to watch football games this weekend, and that’s also fine. I have better ways to spend my time, although I can always read while a game is on in the background. I’d like to get the Carson book finished by the end of the weekend, so I can move on to Church of Frendo, but after that I think I am going to read a new-to-me classic crime novel; maybe something by Dorothy B. Hughes or a revisiting of Charlotte Armstrong. I also want to get a lot of books taken to the library sale Saturday morning.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines with high hopes for another marvelous week here in New Orleans. Have a terrific day, Constant Reader, and I’ll check in with you again tomorrow morning.

The Number of the Beast

Last day in the office for the week Thursday, and I am dragging a little this morning. My legs are a bit fatigued, but my brain is alert and the coffee is hitting, so…so far so good? I’m working in the clinic by myself again today, and I am not sure how busy we’re going to be. I think it was all afternoon appointments and none this morning? I don’t remember, but I think that’s right, unless something changed overnight. I slept well again last night–it’s been getting cold at nights here lately, which is absolutely lovely. Next week the temperatures are going to drop even more, and of course we have to keep an eye on Melissa out there in the western Caribbean. I have to get up early again tomorrow to take the car in for a new battery, two new tires, and some other minor maintenance–which will be horribly expensive but better that than having the battery die on me (it’s lasted five years, whereas the original one only lasted four) or having a tire explode while I’m driving. (These are the last two original tires that came with the car, I think, which is a pretty good track record. I also can’t believe how old the car is now, either. Still don’t have fifty thousand miles on it yet! Probably wouldn’t even have thirty if not for all the trips to Alabama and Kentucky.) My injectable medication is also arriving today, so I’ll have to go uptown to get the mail on my way home. And then I get to go home and have my Thursday night bonding session with Sparky; Paul has to go to some important thing tonight so we will be home alone, and maybe I might watch Scream 2 or A Nightmare on Elm Street. I think we are going to Costco and running some other errands tomorrow after I finish my work-at-home duties. We’re forecast to have thunderstorms all day Sunday, too, which will make staying home under a blanket in my easy chair reading all the more cozy and comfortable.

The apartment needs work, too. There are dishes to be washed and loaded into the dishwasher, and there’s crap scattered everywhere around the entire downstairs. I’ve not been terribly motivated when I’ve gotten home from work. Last night I did a big grocery run at the Carrollton Rouse’s on my way home; it was nice getting that out of the way. I know I’ll have to run to make groceries on Saturday morning for some things I am going to make this weekend, and perhaps pick up the mail, but other than that I plan on not going outside much other than to start taking walks. I finally got wired earbuds for my new phone, so I can listen to books while I am taking my walks. This is my plan to start getting back into shape, slowly and carefully and not trying to rush anything.

I did watch The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City last night, and I must say I never thought I’d see an argument about farts between women on a reality show. Very interesting.

I also need to update my to-do list and pay some more bills. In fact, I don’t even remember what is even ON the to-do list, but…I’ve noticed that I am better about NOT forgetting things. When I made groceries last night, for example, Paul asked me to get him crackers (saltines). I forgot because I couldn’t find my list, but once I got back to the car and put everything in the trunk, I remembered! I ran back in, grabbed a box, and checked out at the service desk. I was very pleased with this, for the record. Yesterday I also remembered to do some things at work I’d been asked to do and hadn’t written down, so I am getting better with my memory, too. Maybe that’s also part of the recovery process? I certainly hope that is the case.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines for the day. Have a lovely Thursday, Constant Reader, and I will see you tomorrow; probably not until I get back from the dealership.

Unholy

Monday and back to the office with me this morning. Huzzah, I think. I felt good yesterday, and read a lot further into Hokuloa Road, which I am also really enjoying (more on that later). It was, overall, a nice and relaxed day here in the Lost Apartment. Sparky was good cuddle-boy all day, too, for the most part. He still does his best to get me up at six every morning, but much more intensely when he hears the alarm go off. He knows that means I have to get up, and so he is more persistent on those mornings (like this morning). But I feel rested and good, which is always a better way of starting the week rather than feeling tired, which is how last week developed, and that tired feeling lasted through the week and most of the weekend.

I did some chores yesterday and made progress on getting everything organized and filed away, around reading the book. I also made some progress on other things, too, which was very cool. It was nice having a productive weekend for a change, other than one where I am trying to get rested and nothing much gets done. The LSU loss Saturday morning also kind of killed my interest in watching games on Saturday, which helped me get things done. They play at night this Saturday, hosting undefeated Texas A&M, who have never won in Baton Rouge since joining the SEC–they beat Alabama before they beat LSU, in fact–but they are pretty good this year and LSU is not, so…probably be a long night this Saturday.

I also need to revise and update my to-do list this morning at some point. I’m not sure how busy we will be in the clinic today, but when I checked Thursday it wasn’t bad–that obviously could have changed between then and now. We shall see.

It was both weird and nice to spend so much time reading yesterday. I always forget how much I love reading (I have noted, before, many times, how weird it is that I have to force myself to do things that I love), until I really get caught up in a book. I was hoping it would rain yesterday, but alas–it was not to be. That would have been lovely–raining outside, snuggled under a blanket in my easy chair with Sparky and a cup of coffee, all snug while I read. It just doesn’t get better than that, you know? I am planning on reading some more tonight when I get home from the office before doing some chores–Sparky loves to sleep in my lap once I get home for the day–and if I can do that every night, I can make some progress on this out-of-control TBR pile.

As I said, I am enjoying Hokuloa Road. It’s a slow burn, which I like, slowly picking up speed as you go. It’s set on a made-up island in the Hawaiian Island chain (best I can tell; apologies if I am incorrect and the unnamed island actually does exist), which is fun. I love Hawaii, even if I haven’t been back there in thirty years. It was my parents’ absolute favorite place to go in the world; so every year I worked at the airline we’d go. I fell in love with Hawaii myself more every time we went, and the last time we went I broke away and did gay things; went to the gay bars, went to the gay beach every day, and even got laid a couple of times while I was there. It was a lot of fun, and I had always wanted to write about Hawaii–but only did once, in an erotic short story and like Elizabeth Hand, I never named the setting as a Hawaiian beach. (The story was called “The Sea Where It’s Shallow”–one of my all-time favorite titles–and I don’t remember where it was published originally, but I do know it’s in my collection Promises in Every Star.) I worry about exoticizing Hawaii and it’s native people, as a haole. Maybe I should revisit it? I do know that some novels I’ve read set in Hawaii were very much that…

I also started writing a short story this weekend, with the working title “Even Katydids Dream,” and yes, that’s a very obvious Shirley Jackson reference. It was inspired by that call for submissions for one (!) lucky writer to get into that Stephen King The Shining appreciation anthology–and the furor that followed the announcement. I really don’t like when authors call out anthology editors for opportunities they don’t think are “fair.” Fairness has nothing to do with it, for the record, and it’s their anthology; they can make the rules whatever they want them to be. I was criticized by people for the last open call I did for an anthology because they didn’t like my rules–and I replied to every whining email “don’t submit.” (I also tracked them, so I could be certain not to accept a story from someone who established from the very fucking beginning they would be difficult to work with and entitled–and I almost always back the writers, so for me to be critical of writers…yeah.) Nothing is fair in publishing, so get used to it unless you want to be angry all the time.

I’d rather channel that energy into writing, frankly.

The more I thought about the pompous and pretentious complaints I saw over the course of a few days last week, the more I started thinking about writing something in that universe. But what? And then the idea came to me, followed by the title, so I started writing it. I probably won’t submit it to the call–one of the submission rules (the timing) is something I’m not sure I would be able to handle. They are only considering the first five hundred stories, so when the window opens you have to have everything ready to go so you can hit send when the minute turns–and I know myself too well to think I’ll remember to get up early on that day. But I like the story, and I can always strip all that Overlook Hotel stuff out of it and use it somewhere else if I want to. I may not ever finish it. Who knows?

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Monday, Constant Reader, and I’ll check in with you again tomorrow.

Thunder Island

TIGERS WIN!!!

It’s been a very hot minute since LSU won a season opener (it was Joe Burrow’s senior season, for the record), AND it was over a Top 5 team AND it was on the road AND it was Clemson and their faux Death Valley. GEAUX TIGERS! It was a nerve-wracking game, and because the score was so close, I was worried the Season Opener Jinx would strike. When was the last time the LSU defense won the game? Last night was the first time since 2019 where I was impressed by the defense, and they were amazing. Like Tiger teams of old. It was an excellent capper to an interesting day of football that saw both Texas and Alabama lose. Of course, now I am going to get my hopes up for the season, but I am trying to be cautiously optimistic. Both Texas and Alabama looked terrible, frankly, and it was kind of a shock. I wouldn’t want to be the Alabama coach this morning…but Alabama always has down years after a legendary coach retires after rebuilding the program from mediocre to the heights of college football again. It happened when Bear Bryant retired, after all. No one has ever come into Alabama when they’re at the pinnacle and keeps them there.

And it could have just been a hiccup for both Texas and Alabama, you never know. (I said to Paul during the second half of Alabama’s game last night, “The alumni group chat is probably lit right now raising the money to buy DeBoer out.”) But it’s very nice to have a season opening win. It’s been so long…

Tulane also thumped Northwestern; they’re calling it the “Beatdown in Uptown” here locally, which I find amusing.

Yesterday I went uptown to the AT&T store on Magazine (in the same strip mall where I used to do my laundry whenever I don’t have a working washer or dryer) and finally got the phone situation squared away, which was great. I made a small bit of groceries, and went by the post office, too, before coming home to do some light cleaning while watching the football games. I was feeling pretty fatigued yesterday–oh, the aching of my tired legs–so didn’t think I’d get much of anything done and was right for the most part. I think I needed that do-nothing rest day, in all honesty. I also realized, in the 36 hours or so I was without a phone, that I’m horribly addicted to mine. Yesterday during the games I was scrolling endlessly through the damned thing until I finally made myself put the damned thing down. I do not like being addicted to screens or the Internet, frankly. I think less screen time will be a goal for 2026.

Today, Paul has his trainer and will be gone most of the afternoon (he always does cardio for a couple of hours after) so I should be able to get some things done today. It’s also nice that I have tomorrow off as well (thank you, three day weekend!). I should be able to get some things done that I want and/or need to get done by the time I have to return to the office Tuesday morning. I’m going to do some more reading this morning with the rest of my morning coffee before I get cleaned up and spring forth into another day. The kitchen looks much better than it did Friday, and hopefully will look even better by the time I go to bed this evening. I also have some filing to do, both from around my workspace and my digital files as well, which is always something mindless to do but it’s amazing how much time it kills.

I was also thinking a lot yesterday about books, short stories, and essays I am working on, which is always a good thing. I didn’t take many notes, just let my mind wander through the fertile fields of my creativity. I need to get this fatigue shit under control so I can do more work…or at least figure out a workaround so I can get things done anyway. I always think I’m being lazy, you know? But when you’re too fatigued to focus…well, that’s rarely if ever a good thing, you know?

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Sunday, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back on the morrow.

I Did Something Bad

Wednesday! Short weeks really do seem to zoom past, don’t they? Yesterday was actually a good day. I felt rested and not tired–but by the time I got home from running my errands I had to rest a bit before doing the chores, which I did do: unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher, and folding a load of clothes. Now the week is half-over, and I am staying on top of the daily chores so this weekend I can do some more deep clean, organizing, reading, resting, and writing. I also spent some time reading both Moonraker and Murder Takes a Vacation (which I am loving, but I knew I would because I loved the character, Mrs. Blossom, since Laura Lippman introduced her in one of her Tess books).

And it’s always a pleasure to read good writing, you know?

In other exciting news, the weight loss has stopped. I weighed 177 at the doctor’s office last week; yesterday I weighed 192. It was also a good day; I , I was walking better, and I even walked across the street at lunchtime to CVS to get ice cream and a candy bar (still have some weight to gain back, after all!) and didn’t get worn out. I was tired by the end of the work day and while running my errands, but that’s fine. I stayed at the office all day and didn’t leave early, so that should have been expected. I finally got my new debit card, the purple LSU eye of the tiger card, and it’s gorgeous. I’ve also been kind of overeating lately but am hungry all the time and craving things. This weekend I am going to try one of those delivery apps to get lunch; I need to pop that cherry.

I also picked up my copy of Summer House by Yigit Karaahmet, translated by Nicholas Glastonbury; which came highly recommended by Kristopher Zgorski’s BOLOBooks blog, which always has great tips for books to read. I also swung by the library to pick up Sisterhood of the Lost Cause: Confederate Widows in the New South racism, which I am reading as research for my lengthy entry on the Lost Cause mythology, and an even deeper dive into the history of racism in this country and how it was allowed to perpetuate after the Civil War–which was a huge fucking mistake. It’s also going to be helpful as I continue to unpack my own grooming into prejudice and bigotry as I try to be a better person than what I was raised to be.

I am feeling so much better these days, and people are noticing that I look better, too. I look healthier and not as gaunt and skeletal (that fifteen pounds came in handy, clearly), which is also incredibly nice. I’m still not there and I know it’s going to take a hot minute, and I have to be patient, but I’ve also tentatively scheduled a trip to Alabama to meet Dad for their anniversary in late June. That will be the real test, won’t it? I’ve gotten behind on my audiobooks in the car listening, too, so that trip will probably help get me going on that as well. If someone would have told me twenty years ago that I’d love audiobooks, I would have laughed in their face. I’ve never liked being read to, but somehow audiobooks are different.

As far as the Patti LuPone discourse on-line is concerned, all I have to say is she needs to play Helen Lawson in a remake of Valley of the Dolls and leave it at that.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely midweek Wednesday, and I’ll be back later.

Bold Strokes retreat, Bombay Beach, album cover photo

The Devil Went Down to Georgia

God, how I hate that fucking song. Maybe it was okay the first two or three hundred times I heard it, but now? It sets my teeth on edge and I kind of root for the devil now.

Sparky got me up early this morning, which is fine. I feel a little tired and sore from standing out on the parade route for a couple of hours yesterday (three or so, to be exact) for the Iris parade. Iris is my favorite of all the parades, and always has been. I fell in love with the ladies of Iris that first time I came here for Carnival back in 1995, and that has never changed. It was a beautiful day for parades, too. It was sunny, not a cloud in the sky, and the temperature hovering the mid 70s. I also forget how much fun the parades are from year to year. It is fun out there. Everyone is in a good, festive mood; everyone is friendly; and you meet lots of people out there on the route. The parades always create this incredible feeling of community that’s kind of hard to describe. No one is completely wasted, everyone is just buzzed and vibing and having fun. We got buried in beads like we always do at Iris, and then we came inside and skipped Tucks. My legs feel fatigued this morning, so I don’t know if I’ll be going out today (there are four: Okeanos, Mid-city, Thoth, and Bacchus. Bacchus and Thoth are extremely popular, so it will be madness down at the corner too. I may wander out there, I may not, it depends on how I feel. I took tomorrow off so as not to have to deal with traffic and parking (I’d have to leave the office at two anyway, at the very least), and we’ll be going out for Orpheus tomorrow night. Today I really need to be more active–I need to clean and I need to write and I need to get my act together.

A running theme on this blog, methinks. Some things never change.

I did get a chance to speak to my sister yesterday as well, and found out that I was correct–we had both had the measles when we were kids (“freedom freckles,” as someone said on Threads yesterday), which confers immunity so I don’t need to get a booster. I thought we had, but wasn’t sure. (She currently has shingles, despite the vaccine, but it’s a much milder case than had she not.) We had the mumps and the measles at the same time (and I just realized how terrified our parents must have been back then, since measles could kill or do even worse damage; I can’t even fathom 1/10th of how much worry they had when we were small kids), and chicken pox by itself at a later date (hence immunity from all poxes). I also remember getting the polio vaccine and rubella; I remember lining up in second grade to get them. So, fuck you, anti-vaxxers, your kids aren’t going to give me anything that could potentially kill me. Can’t say the same for your kids, though. The recent rubella outbreak in Texas? Hey anti-vaxxer trash: why don’t you go ahead and google what happens when a pregnant woman gets rubella, you fucking self-absorbed bitches? Isn’t it bad enough that you’re entire thesis is “I’d rather have a dead child than an autistic one”? All those tombstones for children in those old Alabama cemeteries…interesting how few recent graves there are for children. So, just go ahead and miss me with your Dr. Google research on vaccines, trash. If you want your kids to die, have at it. But why should other people’s children have to die to satisfy your egocentric narcissism?

And miss me with your “pro-life” stance and your Christianity. Suffer the little children wasn’t a directive.

Honestly.

We got caught up on our shows last night, and started watching this new Robert De Niro show on Netflix called Zero Day. It was entertaining enough and has an incredible cast–Joan Allen, Angela Bassett, Connie Britton, De Niro himself–and the writing seems pretty top notch. It’s a political thriller about the aftermath of a massive cyber attack on the United States, and De Niro is a retired president (Bassett is the current), asked to head up a new agency to find out who did it and how to stop them from doing it again. It’s not an action show–De Niro isn’t getting into fistfights and gun battles with bad guys–but more cerebral with twists and turns. (Seriously, the fistfights and gun battles all start to seem the same after awhile, and some of the shows–The Recruit, The Night Agent, Prime Target–also start running together, too. Reacher remains fantastic, though.) Political thrillers are kind of hard to watch now for me–the insanity running the country currently kind of makes them quaint in a way–but here we are, you know? I also saw that Fletcher Knebel’s old thriller about an insane president–Night of Camp David–is making the rounds again (I read it the first time around with this bullshit), but not even Knebel, who wrote a lot of political thrillers, could have imagined a United States where a political party would rally around a sociopathic narcissist, with the media working hand in glove with them to present this as normal and sane. Not even John LeCarré or Robert Ludlum could have come up with this kind of story. (Stephen King foresaw it also with The Dead Zone–a book that I don’t think gets enough appreciation for its brilliance– but even he couldn’t see it winning in the end.)

We’ve taken our country for granted for so long that none of us could ever believe it could come to an end…kind of like the Trojans and the Carthaginians and Rome itself. Everything ends. I had hoped it would last until I no longer had to worry about it, but I guess I lived longer than I should have.

And on that grim note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely day, Constant Reader, and I will talk to you later.

Love Is The Answer

Thursday morning and heading out on the highway to Alabama this afternoon, after I put in some hours at the office. I can also get on the highway not far from the office, which will save me a little time–not much, an insignificant amount to be sure–but it’s going to be smooth sailing….I hope. I slept pretty well last night; I ran errands on my way home and managed to get my chores done once I got home, and packed. I feel a bit tired this morning, though, so I hope that means I am going to be able to sleep tonight when I get there. I also just realized I forgot to pack some things, so I’ll have to go home and get them before I head out–but at least I remembered. It would have sucked to get up there and realize oh no, I forgot this stuff, which has happened before. It’s never pleasant–I’ve gone on trips where I’ve forgotten my sleeping meds and thus didn’t sleep the entire trip (most unpleasant) and been miserable.

Well, didn’t finish that this morning, did I? I am now in west/central Alabama, checked into my hotel and a little tired. I hate driving these back country state roads after dark, seriously. The last hour or so of the drive was nerve-wracking; it’s so pitch dark at night here, there are no lights anywhere, and it was a little foggy. I don’t know the roads enough to anticipate hills and dips and hollows and stop signs and curves, and of course there’s always some inbred in a raised hundred-thousand dollar pick up truck (but bitches about the price of eggs) tailgating you for miles before they can pass. (I think I wrote about this in Bury Me in Shadows; how spooky and scary it is to drive up here after dark.) I am now here and very tired. I may lay down in a moment and see what happens. If I fall asleep, so be it.

After I got off 59N/20E in Tuscaloosa (Lurleen Wallace 1Boulevard, to be exact) and as I drove through, I couldn’t help but think you know, Tuscaloosa is a pretty little city…and then I saw an enormous billboard reading THANK YOU PRESIDENT TRUMP NO PRESIDENT HAS DONE MORE FOR THE AMERICAN PEOPLE and remembered that beneath the beauty is the same moral decay and rot that’s been here since statehood in 1819. It’s really a shame. There’s an entire essay (or nonfiction personal memoir of being a gay Southern white man) I could write about the South’s pathetic longing for a past when everything was better2 because everything is so “awful” down here now. I mean, Black people can use the same bathrooms and water fountains now! Perish the thought!

That billboard, by the way, was sponsored by a church. Imagine how many hungry children that colossal waste of money could have fed. Glad to know there are no hungry children in Alabama–or Tuscaloosa, either, so that a church could waste parishioners’ tithes in a manner worthy of a Medici pope during the Renaissance. Cannot imagine why people are turning away from Christianity–and the Christian Nationalist fascist government that is currently being installed is only going to drive more and more of the faithful away. Evangelicals deny Christ every day with their words and actions, rather than bearing witness by doing good works. Faith without works is dead, after all–which means showing up twice on Sunday and once on Wednesday isn’t going to get you into heaven when your piety is only for when you’re inside the actual church building.

Someday I am going to explore my relationship with religion in a long-form essay because that will be just fascinating, won’t it?

And on that note, I think I’m going to go lay down now. Have a lovely night, COnstant Reader, and who knows if I’ll be here tomorrow? I certainly don’t!

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  1. Lurleen Wallace was the first woman elected governor of Alabama. It wasn’t as big of a deal as it should have been because she was also George Wallace’s first wife, and back then a governor of Alabama couldn’t succeed himself. She ran in his place and won. It was all for naught, though, as she died of cancer one year into her term as “governor.” But tell us about the corruption in blue states again? ↩︎
  2. NARRATOR VOICE: It was, in fact, not based in reality. ↩︎