Endlessly

Monday morning and it’s back to work for one Gregalicious. Memorial Day is this coming weekend, which means a lovely three day weekend for me, which will be lovely, and is even more lovely to contemplate. I didn’t get a lot done this weekend, which is NOT a good thing, but I can live with it. I feel rested and ready to go this morning, which is the most important thing to come out of a weekend in my humble opinion. It’s nice not to beat myself up over taking down time, you know?

I finished reading Where They Wait by Scott Carson, and loved it (more on that later), so I don’t consider the weekend a complete wash. We also started watching Euphoria yesterday. I’m not sure why we never watched in the first place, but damn–I thought Gossip Girl was over the top, but Euphoria is a whole other ball of wax, isn’t it? But I also love the way they tell the story, with Zendaya’s character narrating the story and filling in gaps about the other characters in the story, to give the viewers a better understanding of who they are. But whew–all the drugs and sex and drinking and porn watching and so forth–things are a lot different now than when I was in high school–although I do think this show might just take things to extremes.

It does kind of give me pause, though–my books about teenagers are nothing like this. I’m not even sure I could even write something like this, to be honest. But then again I always tend to come down on the side of innocence when it comes to teenagers…even if I do depict high school as an endless hell for the students. As I am not a high school student, my grandnieces and nephews are very religious so this wouldn’t be them, and I don’t know any high school students to ask, I will simply have to continue wondering. But I am sure that kids with access to money and so forth probably party a lot harder than we did when I was in high school (for the record, I had only had alcohol once before graduation–yeah I was one of those kids; incredibly innocent and even more naive; Dad still regrets letting me skip a grade to this day), and I sort of touched on that with #shedeservedit, but I think my next book with teens will go into more detail.

I didn’t write at all this weekend; the motivation was simply not there, which is actually shameful. It is AMAZING the excuses I can some up with to not write; I’m also beginning to think talking about plans to write instead of talking about having written is perhaps not the ideal way to go. I do feel good this morning; I don’t feel like I slept all that well last night, in all honesty, but somehow I am alert and have energy–that will undoubtedly flag a bit this afternoon before I go home. But I do hold out hope for a good week, as always.

We also tried Manhunt, the Apple series about the hunt for John Wilkes Booth and his accomplices after the Lincoln assassination; the first episode was a bit slow, but I do love Tobias Menzies and we’ll probably go back to it once we’ve finished Euphoria. I’m still not sure what the deal is with the rest of the episodes of After the Flood, but for whatever annoying reason, we only have access to the first two episodes, despite a Britbox subscription. (Note to self: see what all we are subscribed to, and cut the cord on the ones we never watch; in some cases it might be easier and cheaper to simply buy or rent the shows we want to watch.)

As you can tell, this weekend wasn’t much. Not much done, not much accomplished, and I pretty much just laid around the whole weekend, other than running to the grocery store (twice) and picking up the mail twice. I also don’t feel in the least bit sorry about it, either. I know I need to get back to writing and making some breakthroughs on things, which might engage the writing muscles again and get me back to writing, but I am really not feeling all that motivated anymore. I think a lot of it has to do with the overall inability to ever get caught up on the house. Sparky of course is no help whatsoever; he always seems to be wanting attention when I am doing anything, and he’s just too cute to ignore–even when he is attacking me with fangs and claws unsheathed. Especially then, really? But I really need to get back to writing every day, even if it’s nothing more than a couple of hundred words here and there. Every word written brings things closer to being finished, and if I have to work on multiple things at the same time, so be it; I’ve done it before and it worked, so it would work again–at least in theory.

And so on that note I am heading into the spices mines, trying to get everything onto a to-do list, which may help in some ways. I may be back later, you never know; there’s lots of blog drafts that need finishing.

Killer Queen

Ah, my lord the Duke of Buckingham; probably one of the most successful fuckboys in history.

Contemporaries wrote of his physical beauty constantly when he was a young man, and first coming to the attention of his King; and while I’ve certainly never read any biographies of George Villiers, I have always been vaguely aware of him–primarily because of his role in The Three Musketeers, which is, of course, a marvelous fiction. While I have no doubt that George may have become enamored of the French Queen (the Hapsburg Spanish princess Anne of Austria) while in France arranging the marriage of Charles I to the French Bourbon princess Henrietta Maria (which, despite the success of the marriage, was a big mistake in the macro sense; the Stuart penchant in the seventeenth century of marrying Catholic princesses eventually led to their fall and the extinction of their direct line); without reading more into the history of the period, it’s hard to say whether that fiction of Dumas’ was based in rumor or was simply his own creation–but George was definitely a fuckboy, so anything is possible.

It took me until I was a bit older to realize the relationship between my lord Buckingham and his king was a bit more than just “best buddies.”

And even then, it took me a little while longer to recognize that the Buckingham of The Three Musketeers was also the same favorite of King James’. It was his son that was the bosom buddy of Charles II; he also was the cousin of Barbara Villiers, Lady Castlemaine, one of that king’s longest running and most notorious mistresses (I named Chanse’s landlady after her, actually), so there were a lot of noble Villiers entwined with the destiny of the royal house of Stuart during the seventeenth century. Of course, given how language was blurred about Kings and their favorites in the histories I read, it never crossed my mind to read more into them until I was in my thirties (also, reading Cashelmara by Susan Howatch made me realize Edward II’s favorites also shared his bed…and then all the other pieces, about James I and Henri III of France began falling into place, even if their sexuality was determinedly erased from history.

So, when I saw the first preview for Mary and George, I was very excited. A series that actually isn’t afraid to address James Stuart’s actual sexuality, and that of his fuckboy, my lord George Villiers, the Duke of Buckingham? Starring Julianne Moore and Nicholas Galitzine? Julianne Moore was clearly relishing playing the hell out of the ambitious let-nothing-get-in-her-way mother?

I was so in.

And in all honesty, I knew Galitzine was becoming a heartthrob/sex symbol, but with blond hair he reminded me too much of Macauley Culkin and I just didn’t really see it.

But as a brunette? Beautiful, and perfectly cast.

See what I mean? Sex on a stick, just like Buckingham’s contemporaries said.

I can see why historians tried so hard to erase the truth about the rise of the Villiers family, from lower nobility to a dukedom; the fact that Mary groomed her gorgeous son to seduce the king as a way to riches and power is not something you encounter frequently in the pages of history; especially in the modern age…but this was very common throughout history with beautiful girls…they were groomed and educated with an eye to seducing a powerful man for money, prestige, and power, and if the man was a king, even better.

Mary and George is pretty historically accurate, too–more so than many of these kinds of series, where things are changed for the sake of story, but the rise of George Villiers is dramatic enough, as well as all the court intrigue behind the scenes, but…the final episode to me was the only failure in the series. Even though I knew how it would all end, I kept thinking they’d come up with some way to make the end more dramatic, but that last episode felt rushed to me, didn’t have enough set-up to work as a finale and it just then kind of….ended. But the show is gorgeously produced; the costumes, the sets, and the acting is all excellent…until the last episode. In that episode, George has already been raised to duke…yet his clothes are the most drab of the entire season other than the first episode, when his preparations to be a fuckboy get underway. George was very famous for his splendid, ornate and opulent style of dress; he was always covered in jewels from head to toe, but for some reason they tried to make him look as drab and unattractive as possible. That certainly wouldn’t have been the case when he visited the Spanish court with the Prince of Wales (excellent casting; he looked just like the paintings of Charles I); it would have undermined English prestige to show up at the court of Philip IV so underdressed.

There’s also frontal male nudity, and lots of gay sex scenes. Buckingham was undoubtedly, at best, in modern terms a bisexual; the best quote of the show about sex partners was “bodies are just bodies”–which both mother and son say any number of times as they bed both genders happily.

I highly recommend it, and would love to see more of these shows.

Heartaches by the Number

Sunday fun-day, and I am up much earlier than I was yesterday. It wasn’t a bad day, but I clearly needed to sleep in. I slept later than expected this morning, too, but here I am, up at just past eight and feeling pretty good. I really didn’t do much of anything yesterday. I did leave the house and get the mail (I got two shirts I’d ordered from Macy’s) and then swung iby the grocery store to get treats for Sparky and for us (they had the Snicker brownie cookies again, which are fucking amazing), and then I came home. I curled up in my chair with Scott Carson’s Where They Wait, which I am enjoying the hell out of, before Paul got up and we finished the first half of Bridgerton, watched The Iron Claw, and then after we watched the gymnastics meet last night, won by Simone Biles (of course), moved on to Hollywood Con Queen, which in interesting, if odd. I plan on spending some more time with the book today, hopefully finishing reading it this morning before getting some writing done today. I’d like to get this second draft of “When I Die” out of my hair, and I also need to reread and possibly revise “The Last To See Him Alive” before I submit it to an anthology. I have been very lackadaisical about my writing now for almost a year, and I need to start taking it seriously again. I think that’s been part of my feeling off for so long–I am not writing much, either and that always has an affect on my over-all well-being.

I also think the overwhelming pile of things I am working on has a lot to do with my feeling at sea and uninspired, to be honest. I do love to write, but as always, I have to make myself do something I love. I also am much easier to distract these days, too–which I do not like–but when I am home working it’s Sparky who distracts me (he’s adorable and sweet, so it’s hard not to give him attention when he wants some), or Paul getting up and wanting to watch something–I will always drop everything to hang out with him, whether I can afford the loss of time or no, sorry/not sorry–but I do need to get some focus. Maybe I should listen to music on my headphones? Music always works, usually; but who knows if the old tricks will continue to work now?

I also need to get caught up on blog entries, too. I still have to finish my posts about Dead Boy Detectives and Mary and George, I’ll have to do one when I finish reading this book, and of course there are any number of others that are dangling in my drafts folder. I also came up with a really good title for another story yesterday, sigh, which I scribbled down in my journal. My creativity is still there, of course, but it needs to be harnessed again so I can take it out for a ride. I also spent alot of time yesterday thinking about something I definitely want to blog about, which was triggered by Marjorie Taylor Greene, the cro magnon congresswoman from Georgia being the white trash piece of shit she was by attacking Jasmine Crockett’s appearance the other day–don’t come for Jasmine unless she calls you, bleached blonde bad built butch body bitch–and the whole “going high” thing. Much as I love Michelle Obama, I have been saying since the of Rush and Fox News that going high doesn’t work when they are going low; they see going high as being weak and they go lower. The only way to defeat them and shut them up is to give their own back to them with a vengeance–I bet the inbred trash will think twice about coming for someone’s looks again. And as someone who has had people going low at him for most of his life, I will not go high. You open that door and I will fucking shred you–and I also will not be shamed by “allies” (always straight white cisgender women, for the record) for giving it back to them. We are literally in a war for the soul and future of this country; going high with these kind of stakes on the line simply does not work, and I am tired of the right saying racist, homophobic, and misogynist bullshit while being told to “go high.” Sorry, Michelle, I love you–and I love you even more for your class and dignity, but I would love to listen to you read Melania for the racist gold-digging filth she is sometime.

The sad truth is you never win while seated on your high horse, and we as a nation simply cannot afford to lose. And they cannot stand on ANY moral high ground while pedophiles like Matt Gaetz and inbreds like Marjorie Greene are serving in the People’s House, period–as well as any traitors, and there are a LOT of those on the Republican side of the aisle right now.

(I’m also enjoying watching all the trash who hated the Chiefs because of Travis and Taylor now worshipping them because of Hairy Butt. Pick a fucking lane.)

And on that note, I am having some breakfast and then reading for a while. Have a lovely Sunday, Constant Reader, and I will probably show up again a little later.

Petite Fleur

Saturday and the weekend blooms this morning, huzzah huzzah! Well, I slept super-late for me this morning, not arising until a bit before ten, and I do have to run to the store to pick-up something I forgot yesterday (Sparky’s treats, and he is NOT happy to have had a treat-less 24 hours, believe you me), but other than that, I’ve pretty much decided to spend the day reading and not stressing about anything. I feel like I need a low-energy day, and since today is feeling that way, may as well make it today. I did spend some time yesterday reading my book, which I am really enjoying, and when Paul got home last night we watched the finale of Mary and George, which was kind of a letdown in some ways, and then the next two episodes of Bridgerton, which we are enjoying precisely because it’s just meant to be frothy fun–and that’s not a bad thing, and it’s not easy to do while making it all look easy. I don’t have much desire to read the books, to be honest, and the Regency period has never really interested me much; which is kind of interesting and perhaps something I should explore; but the wretched sons of George III and Queen Charlotte are sublimely uninteresting.

A wonderful thunderstorm woke me around six this morning–that, and a treat-less cat–which was marvelous, and I went right back to sleep. I also didn’t stay up super-late last night (eleven rather than ten), so that doesn’t explain it.

I also read some research for another book I am considering writing (separate from the Noah Presgrove death in Oklahoma one I’ve been talking about) and I think I am beginning to understand how I need to write that book, and how to write myself into it. I’ve also been thinking a lot about some other projects that I would like to get done, and now I need to make a plan and figure out how I am going to get everything done that needs to be done. I’ve already come up with a financial plan for the rest of the year (very little travel, very little spending, and trying to clear some debts), and now I need to just get it together for writing.

I think we will probably finish Bridgerton this weekend, and we also want to watch The Iron Claw. There are some other shows we are thinking about watching, and some that we need to catch up on…I’m still trying to figure out why only the first two episodes of After the Flood are available. We watched the first, but are holding off on the second until the rest are available to watch–and will probably have to go back and watch the first again.

Very exciting, aren’t I?

Louisiana’s “bathroom bill” is currently making its way through our demonic legislature, which is beginning to resist our Christofascist governor. They passed a law this week to display the Ten Commandments in every public school in the state (there will be lawsuits), and are working on legitimizing a voucher system so Louisiana taxpayers can pay to send rich kids to private school while defunding public education here, already deplorably underfunded…which makes me wonder; Louisiana Lottery proceeds were supposedly earmarked for public education–but we never hear that anymore, so where is that money going? For the record, this piece of shit makes Bobby Jindal look like a moderate, and look at the damage Jindal did in eight years….this guy is on track to drive Louisiana right into a drainage sewer canal much faster than Piyush ever dared to dream. Environmental protections stripped to benefit oil and petrochemical corporations? Done. Tax breaks for the wealthy? Done. Attempts to turn Louisiana into a theocracy? Well on its way! Thanks again, Louisiana bigots, for foisting this piece of shit and this sewage legislature on us all.

Jindal went out of office with his career and ambitions basically gone. Here’s hoping Landry’s fall from grace is swifter and even more brutal.

The Tijuana Jail

Ah, Tijuana. I went there several times when I lived in California, and it was always…well, a sloppy messy good time. It’s also where I got my soft wool blankets, the most comfortable bed linens I’ve ever owned. The first one finally fell apart about six years ago, and the second one is starting to fray and unravel. The first was purchased in 1987 and lasted over thirty years; the second was bought in 1997 and is going on twenty-seven. I’ve looked for something similar on-line but so far it’s been to no avail. Sigh. I dread the day when the newer one finally starts to completely unravel.

But I never spent any time in the Tijuana jail, thank the Lord. That’s probably one of my biggest anxieties about foreign travel–winding up in jail through some unintentional mistake. Probably PTSD from watching Midnight Express in the theater at twenty and going in blind with no clue as to what it was about other than I thought the lead actor was kind of attractive. There were a lot of those “out of their element Americans in danger somewhere” movies in the 1970s, when I think back, like how disaster movies also proliferated in that decade.

Last night we had some major weather–bad thunderstorms with eighty mile-per-hour winds. It was in the middle of the downpour and thunder that I went to bed, and as always when it’s storming, I went into a very deep and restful sleep almost immediately. I do feel very good this morning, which is very nice. I feel very rested this morning, too, and am looking forward to getting to work today. I also have errands to run later on today, hopefully around the storms forecast for today. It’s supposed to be worse in the evening that the first blast this afternoon, so we shall see. It’s also nice to wake up on Friday morning and have most of the chores finished already. I don’t have to clean the kitchen, for example, or do any dishes or catch up on laundry or anything like that, which is great. I’d like to do some writing later, definitely some filing, and some reading, too. I’d love to finish the Scott Carson and move on to my next read this weekend…which of course would mean having to pick one out of the pile and there’s too many good choices, frankly–a delightful problem to have. Something newly released, or something that’s been waiting to be chosen for some time now?

We also started watching the new season of Bridgerton last night, and it’s really quite a nice show. Nothing terribly serious, some terrific acting and chemistry, light and frothy entertainment done with incredible style and costuming and set design; it’s absolutely lovely to look at, and appealing enough it its tales of love and romance in the British upper class during the Regency. (It’s interesting that the only royal we ever see is Queen Charlotte, but the Prince Regent was a disgusting pig of a man and that wouldn’t work in this tale of pretty rich people at the top of the food chain.) Jonathan Bailey is such a convincing straight man, too–so much for the ‘gays can only play gays’ tropes–and I do hope he has a lovely career befitting his talents.

I was also delighted to wake up to the news that the City Council booted the Klan of Nyx (the racist homophobic suburban hags who’ve been polluting the parade route and giving, for one example, Confederate flag beads to Black children; the people cancelled Nyx several years ago for their horrific behavior and “All Lives Matter” bullshit in a majority Black city?) from parading the final two weeks of Mardi Gras–and the likelihood of getting permission to ride before the last two weeks is highly unlikely. I am going to do another Mardi Gras book, and it’s going to be “ripped” from these headlines.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely and safe Friday, Constant Reader, wherever you may be. And you never know; I may be back later.

Tall Paul

Thursday and my last day in the office for the week, which is quite lovely to contemplate this fine morning as I swill down my first cup of coffee and blearily look ahead to the rest of my day. Tomorrow I get to work at home, and I do have some tedious duties to do that should fill out the majority of the workday. I only have to work about six hours or so, which really isn’t that bad, and since I am at home, there won’t be much in the way of distraction…outside of Demon Kitty Sparky, of course.

I slept really well last night–the kind of dead-to-the-world sleep that I love, so I feel rested and relaxed this morning for the first time this week, so naturally it’s Thursday, right? This was happening before I left on the trip, if I am remembering correctly; the later in the week the more rested I was feeling, which again is odd. It doesn’t make sense, really, when you think about it, does it? You should feel more tired towards the end of the week? But you know what, I’ll take it. It’s nice to feel more like myself the way I do this morning. I am still struggling a bit with things–motivation is hard to feel these days for some reason–but things are getting better for me emotionally and so forth.

I’ve been following the Kansas City Chiefs kicker controversy, which just makes me shake my head. You’re beliefs are fine. Believe what you want to, and be happy however you need to get there as long as you aren’t harming anyone has always been my approach to other people’s values and way of life. If you need to believe you have an authoritarian sky daddy and the threat of eternal damnation to be a good person, well, that’s not really saying much about who you are at the core of your being, does it? I personally am not sure what I believe, to be honest, and I had some great conversations with my dad about faith and religion, and I appreciate his honesty and candor. He was raised by a mother who was a borderline religious fanatic (but never seemed to get any joy from her rather simplistic faith), and while religion took with his older siblings, it never really did with him. I grew up evangelical-adjacent; Dad never cared if we went to church or not, and when we did, he didn’t go with us. Mom was the one who started taking us to church, and she’d go without Dad a lot after they moved to Kentucky. I never understand the focus on the do’s and don’ts and dogma and ritual by the faithful…the rituals and dogma are the least of it. It doesn’t make sense to me, but whatever makes life easier for people, you know? Harrison Butken (and you know he was called Harry Butt all through his public education career, which would ordinarily make me a bit more sympathetic to him) didn’t need to get up on that stage and demean women as lesser figures in the eyes of the Lord. He didn’t need to get up there and slander the queer community with baseless, judgmental slurs and insults. ANd of course, the asswipes are out in force screaming “free speech!”

And once again, I will repeat for those in the back: the government isn’t punishing him for his views and speech; and the minute anyone starts screaming about their free speech rights, it usually means they can’t defend what was said in the first place so they fall back on the Constitution–something they’ve never read, do not understand, and cannot comprehend in any meaningful way. But these are the same people who’d argue that the Second Amendment gives you the right to a personal nuclear arsenal, so they aren’t exactly the sharpest tools in the shed.

But Harry Butt was also homophobic as well as misogynist; the misogyny is getting most of the press and commentary, but he basically called the queer community freaks and perverts and weirdos…as I always say, you only rarely go wrong suspecting someone with a dead Confederate general beard of being a jackass (there are exceptions; Eli Cranor, for example, who’s not only a gifted author but a super-nice guy, too); those kinds of beards always put my hackles up whenever I spy one, and yes I know it’s a stereotype, just like all the shit Harry Butt said about queers, but live by the stereotype, die by a stereotype. And misogyny and homophobia inevitably go hand-in-hand with racism, which leads me to believe the Chiefs will probably get a lot of roughing the kicker penalties in the upcoming season…

I did manage to get some things done when I got home from work yesterday. I cleaned the kitchen and worked on the laundry some more–but I’ll have to finish the laundry tonight when I get home from work. I was going to do errands tonight, too, but think I’ll push that off until tomorrow or the weekend. But it was nice to come down to a clean kitchen this morning, and that puts me ahead on chores for the weekend. Huzzah!

And on that note, I am going to head into the spice mines. Have a lovely Thursday, Constant Reader, and I may be back later; you never know.

We Will Rock You

While I was in Kentucky, the Anthony Award finalists were announced, and as always, a friend-studded list. So many great books (and people) listed here. Congrats to all!

BEST HARDCOVER NOVEL

  • All the Sinners Bleed by S.A. Cosby
  • Everybody Knows by Jordan Harper
  • Time’s Undoing by Cheryl A. Head
  • Face of Greed by James L’Etoile
  • The Last Devil to Die by Richard Osman

BEST PAPERBACK NOVEL

  • No Home for Killers by E.A. Aymar
  • Hide by Tracy Clark
  • Because the Night by James D.F. Hannah
  • The Taken Ones by Jess Lourey
  • Magic City Blues by Bobby Matthews
  • Lowdown Road by Scott Von Doviak

BEST FIRST NOVEL

  • The Peacock and the Sparrow by I.S. Berry
  • Play the Fool by Lina Chern
  • Scorched Grace by Margot Douaihy
  • Mother-Daughter Murder Night by Nina Simon
  • City Under One Roof by Iris Yamashita

BEST CHILDREN’S/YA

  • Finney and the Secret Tunnel by Jamie Lane Barber
  • Myrtle, Means, and Opportunity by Elizabeth C. Bunch
  • The Sasquatch of Hawthorne Elementary by K.B. Jackson
  • The Mystery of the Radcliffe Riddle by Taryn Souders
  • Enola Holmes and the Mark of the Mongoose by Nancy Springer

BEST CRITICAL/NONFICTION

  • Finders: Justice, Faith, and Identity in Irish Crime Fiction by Anjili Babbar
  • Spillane: King of Pulp Fiction by Max Allan Collins and James L. Traylor
  • A Mystery of Mysteries: The Death and Life of Edgar Allan Poe by Mark Dawidziak
  • A Fever in the Heartland: The Ku Klux Klan’s Plot to Take Over America, and the Woman Who Stopped Them by Timothy Egan
  • Fallen Angel: The Life of Edgar Allan Poe by Robert Morgan
  • Agatha Christie, She Watched: One Woman’s Plot to Watch 201 Christie Adaptations Without Murdering the Director, Screenwriter, Cast, or Her Husband by Teresa Peschel
  • Love Me Fierce In Danger – The Life of James Ellroy by Steven Powell

BEST ANTHOLOGY/COLLECTION

  • School of Hard Knox, edited by Donna Andrews, Greg Herren, and Art Taylor
  • Here in the Dark: Stories by Meagan Luca
  • Happiness Is a Warm Gun: Crime Fiction Inspired by the Songs of The Beatles, edited by Josh Pachter
  • The Adventure of the Castle Thief and Other Expeditions and Indiscretions by Art Taylor
  • Killin’ Time in San Diego: Bouchercon Anthology 2023, edited by Holly West

BEST SHORT STORY

  • “Real Courage” by Barb Goffman
  • “Knock” by James D.F. Hannah
  • “Green and California Bound” by Curtis Ippolito
  • “Ticket to Ride” by Dru Ann Love and Kristopher Zgorski
  • “Tell Me No Lies” by Holly West

It’s Late

Wednesday and midweek, with only two days (inclusive) left in the office, can we say hallelujah? I am still struggling to adjust back to getting up early and going into the office, and this morning was a bit better than the others this morning in terms of getting up–my alarm went off, for one–but I am still struggling yet to adjust. I was low energy most of the day yesterday (I got all my work done, though) and then came home to do literally next to nothing the rest of the evening. I pretty much wasted most of the night, really, because I was physically and mentally fatigued. I fell asleep almost the moment I got into the bed, and I slept well for the night. But this too shall pass, and hopefully next week will be a return to my normality as far as sleep and work are concerned.

I continue to follow this Oklahoma suspicious death–the autopsy was recently released, and it’s horrific what happened to this kid–and also realized last night that I not only didn’t want to use All Their Guilty Stains as the title of the book that might grow out of this case; but didn’t know what to use instead, and I always have to have a title before I can do much of anything with the research etc. It hit me right in the face this morning; Justice for Abel, which is a stopgap name for the victim that I’ll probably change later. There are also several ways to write such a book–from the perspective of several people from the area impacted by the death; from a journalistic POV, of either a reporter or true crime writer interested in the case; or as a straight up cop story, like a deputy sheriff or something who becomes very aware there’s corruption in the area’s justice system (or a Kansas Bureau of Investigation agent). But I’m nowhere near ready to write this one, and so I need to just vomit out all the ideas and thoughts about it so I don’t forget them, and dig into the unfinished stuff I need to get done. I know what I am going to be working on next, of course, but I also need to get some of these damned short stories finished, too. Focus, Gregalicious, focus.

I also need to get back to my Scott Carson book, so I can move on to my next read, which will most likely either be the latest Kellye Garrett, Angie Kim, or something else out from the stack of books.

I’ve been up and down lately about my career; which is, of course stupid to think about right now. Of course your career feels a bit off this year–last year was horrific emotionally, spiritually, and physically–so it was kind of a lost year, and this year has been pretty much a wash. I seem to be coming out from under all of that at the moment (at least for the time being) and so I need to make a summer to-do list as well as one for this weekend and next week. It’s been a hot minute since I set any kind of goals for myself, and I don’t think it’s wrong for me to take it easy this week and put no pressure on myself to acclimate faster to my reality. So it takes a while to get back in the saddle and feel like I belong in my own life when I was able to bounce back from trips and breaks in routine faster. But I am in my sixties now and that does impact everything…even if I forget to account for it regularly. I do worry that I am simply justifying being lazy–something I’ve been accused of for so long now that I’ve simply accepted the fact that I am and don’t defend myself when someone says it anymore. But that’s a touch of anxiety, isn’t it? No one cares how hard I work when I am not at my day job, and as I often remind myself when I start to head down the path of self-recrimination, everyone else gets time off, so why shouldn’t I? And not taking down time to rest my creativity and my intellect and my body would just lead to burn out faster, and when I’m burned out there’s nothing I can do at all, so what is better?

So, here’s hoping I can make a to-do list today, get some chores done when I get home from the office, and read for a bit before Paul gets home. I am going to take my leave of you now, Constant Reader, before I head into the spice mines. Have a lovely Wednesday!

Along Came Jones

Our power went out last night, around 5:45 a.m. per the email from Entergy (if our power is out, how do they expect me to read an email? I guess my cell phone, but still), but for whatever reason, somehow Paul got up to wake me up at the time I usually rise (my Cat Alarm, aka Sparky, also failed this morning but once Paul got up, he started), but I slept so well last night that it took me awhile this morning to get up and going. Not sure what that’s about (thunderstorm, no doubt), but my coffee tastes good and it looks like the kitchen roof didn’t leak last night, so that’s a good thing. We’re supposed to have heavy weather this morning with off and on showers all day (at least that was the forecast yesterday). A quick glance at my phone, however, has let me know that later this morning it will get sunny and it will stay that way the rest of the day. That’s nice. In fact, the sun is out already so I think that forecast may be off. I know there were tornado warnings west and north of the city last night, and most of the truly bad weather missed us.

I’m not going to lie, I felt very off-balance at work yesterday. It started raining in the early afternoon, which certainly didn’t help (damp air and rain always makes me sleepy), and there were some other things that went on in the early morning after I arrived at the office that had me wondering why the hell didn’t you call in sick this morning, dumb ass? But it all worked out in the end, and the rest of the day went swimmingly. I ran my errands once I was out of the office, and then came home. I was a little tired by then, so didn’t get much of anything done last night other than bonding with Sparky (i.e. being a cat bed). We started watching a new British show called After the Flood, which looked really interesting, but I also noted that only the first two episodes (of six) were up on Britbox, which is…odd. We really liked the show, so I am going to have to figure out how to watch the other four episodes. But that’s peculiar, isn’t it? I think I may have let my subscription go, which is probably why we can only access the first two episodes. Heavy sigh. I really need to get a handle on the streaming services I pay for, don’t I?

I am trying to get a handle on easing back into my normality again–a week off is so disorienting, but nice at the same time–so I figured this wasn’t going to wind up being highly productive, either. I need to at least stay on top of things, though, so I am not buried this weekend trying to get caught up. I need to get the dishes done tonight when I get home, and there’s some laundry and other straightening up to do, and I need to get back to reading my book, too. I managed to get all the book posts done yesterday, but still need to get the one for Dead Boy Detectives, which I loved, finished as well. If you’ve not watched, you really should get cracking on it; it’s definitely one of my favorite new shows of the year. It’s been so long since I finished watching that it may be difficult to write about it now (I finished before I left on the trip), but it pleased me enormously, and I loved all the queerness, especially the Cat King (Lukas Gage, who is fantastic in the part). Of course, you can never go wrong with Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman, or anything that comes out of it.

I didn’t read last night when I got home, either, being tired. But I am looking forward to spending some more time with Where They Wait, which I was really enjoying reading last week in Kentucky. I also kind of feel a bit off with the writing stuff, too–it’s been a hot minute since I’ve written anything other than the blog, so the muscles, already rusted, have kind of tightened up on me again, but I also need to deal with things I’ve been putting off because I didn’t want to deal with them and that’s really not a good way to deal with anything. I need to make a to-do list, too.

And on that note, I am heading back into the spice mines. Have a lovely day, Constant Reader, and I hope to be back here at some point later on.

Yesterday Once More

I have sung the praises of Carol Goodman and her fantastic novels numerous times here on this blog; literally to the point that I have begun to wonder at times whether or not I have said certain things about her work before. I know I always bring up Dark Shadows and the great Gothic writers of my youth that I loved; give me a dark brooding mansion and a sinister legend of murders and ghosts and I am in my favorite place. But it does get repetitive, and that will hardly convince you, Constant Reader, to pick up one of her books (you won’t regret it), will it?

So, this time around, rather than talking about her Gothic sensibility, this might be a good time to look at this most recent read of hers in a different way.

“I’m just having trouble getting back on track.”

Nina Lawson isn’t the first student this semester–or even the first today–to attribute their academic woes to a deviation from some metaphorical track. As Dean of Liberal Arts, I’ve heard every excuse, sob story, and tragedy over the course of the last two years. But the image, coming as it does at the end of a long day at the end of a very long year, jolts me as if we’re both on a train that has suddenly jumped off the rails into an abyss.

To give myself time to craft a response I look down at Nina’s folder. I see that she comes from Newburgh–a small city about an hour south of campus–that she did well in her public high school even after her classes went remote in March of her senior year, and she’s earned the Raven Society writing scholarship to Briarwood on the basis of a short story she wrote in high school. There’s a note in my assistant’s meticulous handwriting that Nina had to defer admission for a year to help her single, out-of-work mother with the bills. She has a work-study job in the financial office and an off-campus job at a local restaurant. No wonder she looks tired, I think, gazing up at her. Her light brown skin is mottled with acne. She’s slouched in a zippered sweatshirt, hood up, eyes swollen and bloodshot, lips raw and chapped. “I wish you had come to see me sooner,” I say in my firm-but-gentle voice. “The withdrawal deadline passed six weeks ago.”

“Someone told me it had been extended,” she says, not looking up.

This opening scene establishes several things: the book is going to be set at a prestigious small private college; the school has an excellent creative writing program; and our main character is getting a little jaundiced and world-weary in her position. The “I’ve heard it all before” is a problem for people in these kinds of jobs, and often occurs in education–the weariness and suspicion that students are lazy and just don’t want to work eventually becomes so engrained that they have a closed mind before the student even starts talking. I’ve experienced this myself any number of times–this past week I related two experiences I had in school where I was basically called a liar by an educational authority figure only to get an apology later when I was proved to be telling the truth to my dad, which ended with an airy “teachers never believed me, ever”–which probably explains why I never really got into school the way other smart kids did. But fortunately, Nell gives Nina the withdrawal permission, because she thinks something else is going on with Nina and she wants to help her (which was lovely to read), but Nina won’t open up to her. Briarwood is getting ready to open it’s new Writer’s Center, and there’s a big celebratory party coming up–as well as a bad winter storm–and that night, at a traditional ceremony where the students carry candles up the side of a mountain, there’s an accident and Nina falls into one of the ice caves…and when she is rescued, the skeleton of a young woman is found–which triggers Nell’s memories of being a writing student twenty-five years ago, the friends she made in the program, and the secrets they’ve kept ever since.

Which means the book is also a dual-timeline novel, which is one of my favorite tropes in crime novels (any novels, really); the book is also a master class in how to do a dual-timeline novel. Part of Goodman’s skill is taking those young, wet-behind-the-ears college students and evolving them as they make their way through their college years, as well as who they’ve turned into in the intervening years. There’s not a single false step in any of the character development, which isn’t easy when you’re juggling any number of characters.

And in the present day timeline, Goodman pays homage to several classic crime novels–particularly Christie’s And Then There Were None, which was delightful. She also made several references, throughout the book, to MARY STEWART, who I often think of as Goodman’s literary godmother…and with the past story, there’s some real The Secret History stuff going on, too. The Stewart references aren’t for the terrific suspense novels she wrote, but the equally terrific Arthurian saga she created (The Crystal Cave, The Hollow Hills, The Last Enchantment, This Wicked Day), which I should revisit sometime.

The suspense and tension continues to build, and with everyone trapped on campus by a winter storm–and characters start dying, one by one…the suspense almost becomes unbearable as the secrets and lies from the past finally come home to roost in the present.

(I will say that when I started listening to the book, I thought to myself if this were a Gothic novel this is who the killer would be–only to be correct! But the motive wasn’t what I thought it was…)

The Bones of the Story is well-written, with great language, terrific tone and style, and very literate and smart…so another feather in the cap of the divine Carol Goodman.