APT.

Thursday and my last day in the office for this week, and I actually worked in the clinic every day this week, including today! Look at me going hard, right?

Speaking of which, I’ve learned so many new things about the Right since last week’s murder on campus that I really did not need to know. I had a vague idea of what a groyper was; I also knew it involved that stupid frog image. I did know what an incel was, too, but I had no fucking idea how far out there it got, and while I could have easily gone for the rest of my life happily not being aware of any of this shit, well, now I know. I don’t think it has made me any smarter or more knowledgeable. The “transmaxxing”1 stuff? Holy fuck-balls, Batman! I think I’m just going to file all of this knowledge I gained without my complete consent under “Things I Will NEVER Understand” in my memory file cabinet. Hopefully this will be one of those things I forget.

But it never works quite like that, does it?|

And to think, I went down that wormhole thinking it might make an interesting background for some fiction. Yeah, no fucking thanks.

I’m tired this morning–and while mentally I am fine, physically I feel some fatigue. I was pretty worn out when I got home from work yesterday, read more of the manuscript (lord, the revisions are going to be a bitch and a half), and hung out with the Cuddle-bug kitty before watching the season premiere of The Morning Show, which opens in the summer of 2024, pre-Olympics…a period that will be interesting to revisit. It also set me to thinking about 2024 in a reflective, detached way; certainly there has been some distance (it does seem like another lifetime ago, doesn’t it?) and remembering again why I hate George Clooney with an undying, white-hot passion that will never cool. Remember that asshole and his op-ed in the New York Times last summer? And as authoritarian censorship starts to take hold in the country–thanks again, George! How is this regime working out for you in your Italian country estate? Oh, yes, that’s right– you’re rich enough that nothing really changes for you and you never have consequences, shithead. I also have noted that he’s been silent about politics and the state of the world ever since then. Makes you wonder, doesn’t it? Always remember his tax bracket is the one doing the best under this regime.2

There seems to be a plethora of things for us to watch over the course of the weekend; it’s always lovely when a show we enjoy returns.

I generally am not one to get emotional over the death of a celebrity, and at most, I feel a pang of oh that’s a shame. Robert Redford’s death announcement was one of those; he lived a very long life, kept his private life very private, and had some views I agreed with. I also enjoyed his film work, and always thought he was underrated because he made it look easy and he was stunningly beautiful; it is very rare when someone is that good-looking to be taken seriously as an actor. Maybe I’ll rewatch The Sting tomorrow while doing quality assurance. I saw that in the theater back when it was in release, and really enjoyed it. I did see some Redford films during my Cynical 70’s Film Festival during the pandemic (Three Days of the Condor, The Candidate, and All the President’s Men), and became even more impressed with his ability to command the screen and deliver a layered performance that was believable. (I also love The Way We Were, despite some of my misgivings about the plot and story and characters; maybe someday I’ll do a longer essay about The Way We Were.)

There will never be another Robert Redford, for sure.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Thursday, Constant Reader, and I will be back tomorrow morning!

Screenshot
  1. Please–take my word for it and do not look this up, tempting as it may be. ↩︎
  2. Same with Susan Sarandon, may she rot in hell for eternity. ↩︎

Tumbling Dice

You’ve got to ro-oh-oll me, call me the tumbling dice…

Good morning out there to my daily (or periodic) Constant Readers! I really didn’t want to get up this morning, in all honesty; it was so comfortably cozy under my blanket pile and Sparky was cuddling (and only occasionally attacking my feet), which was very blissful. My legs feel a little fatigued this morning, which isn’t a good sign for my fatigue. But yesterday at work wasn’t at all bad, or a struggle to get through; it actually went by pretty quickly and I had energy when I got home. I got started on my chores (didn’t finish them) and sat in my chair to read with Sparky in my lap, and of course, the purring curled up kitty puddle started putting me to sleep. I woke up at just past nine and went up to bed before Paul even got home from the office.

I read deeper into the manuscript (before dozing off last night), and it’s not bad; it’s just kind of awkward and unpolished, which naturally is a bit of a relief about the revisions that need to be done in addition to the chapters that need to be finished before I can turn it in. I am taking it with me to work to read over lunch and breaks, and may get started on writing the rest of it tonight. LSU has one of those throwaway games this weekend–against Southeastern Louisiana, out of Hammond–so while I do want to watch (if it’s even on television) it’s not one of the big games of the season and I am not even sure who else is playing this weekend. I’ve not even bothered to look into who’s playing yet! I hope to have a successful writing/editing weekend; fingers crossed!

One can hope, at any rate.

My creativity is coming back, though; which usually happens when I am coming down to the wire on another project. Working on that short story to finish it Monday night kicked that door open–not like it was, back in the day, but I’ll take it–and started thinking about other short stories to write and what to work on with this book and how to get it all under control and working and something that my Constant Readers will like. I think I am going to finish Chlorine after this; probably work on it and Muscles at the same time, most likely. I also have some short stories I want to finish by the end of the year, and it has been a very hot minute since my last newsletter, hasn’t it? The Katrina one was, I think, the last one; and that was around two-three weeks ago, wasn’t it? I am really at sea; did Bouchercon and the return of the fatigue really set me that far back on everything?

Apparently so.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a great Wednesday (mine already feels like a Thursday) and I shall return on the morrow. Cheerio!

The sack of Constantinople by the 4th Crusade, 1204

Beach Baby

I love this song still to this very day. It came out during a time where nostalgia was big–especially the 1950s–and the Beach Boys had just made another comeback and their album Endless Summer was a huge hit. The song is very reminiscent of the Beach Boys–all that California sun and surf and cheerfulness and high school hops–but there was a melancholy under all that cheerful nostalgia, especially with the background refrain, oft-repeated through it, of do you remember? do you remember? (The song also come out around the same time as a book called What Really Happened to the Class of 65? and I always associated the song with the book.)

It is Tuesday morning and I am up early, as always, swilling coffee and eating coffee cake, care of Costco. I did finish editing that story, and got it turned in. I hope the editor likes it. I had the idea for it many years ago–not that long, but it seems like it now–and started writing it, getting a draft done before wondering where to try to sell it. I was going to submit it to the Minneapolis Bouchercon anthology I edited, putting it through the anonymous read process as I did for the New Orleans and St. Petersburg ones because it would look like “insider pool” if I was accepted. (I have not submitted to a Bouchercon anthology since being told this, by the way. If their board thinks I would just automatically put my own story in there instead of following the same procedure as everyone else? I don’t need to be in any of their anthologies in the future.) I’ve had the idea for a long time–going back to when I actually lived in Minneapolis, which is where I also came up with the title, which is one of my favorites of all my titles. I did try selling some other places, but the story was still…not quite right, and was rejected, as it should have been. I think I was able to fix it, but…we’ll have to see. But it felt good to work on it, and I also realized that just because it doesn’t “feel” the same to write and edit as it used to, doesn’t mean I’m not doing good work. I’ve changed, both physically and mentally, and that’s going to make things seem different to me than how they used to work, you know?

Yesterday wasn’t a bad day, you know. We weren’t as busy at work as I had expected, primarily from no-shows and last minute reschedules, so I wasn’t exhausted when I got home from work and worked on the story. I didn’t do any chores–the kitchen somehow exploded again, I don’t know how all this happens, honestly–so when I get home tonight I can’t write or read or even catch up on the news until those chores are completed. I hate when the downstairs is a mess, and the whole apartment, when it’s out of order, feels very cramped and small and claustrophobic. Because I am all about the claustrophobia? Apparently so. I slept well again last night and don’t feel terribly sleepy or tired this morning, which is a good thing. Sparky was a combination cuddle-bug/attack kitty this morning before I got up, and went into attack mode again while I was putting my shoes on. I think Paul will be working late at the office tonight, if I am not mistaken, and so it’ll be time for some bonding time after I write (or while I read and edit). I doubt I’ll be catching up on the news; the current story dominating the legacy “media” doesn’t interest me, nor am I interested in being shamed for not mourning someone who advocated me being stoned to death, either. (Miss me with the “he didn’t say that!” Okay, then, tell me one positive thing he ever said about queer rights and equality. I’ll wait.)

The story not getting this fawning, wall-to-wall coverage from the legacy media? How about the two men lynched on consecutive days in Mississippi? The Mississippi “police” already determined the Black college student’s death had “no evidence of foul play.” Really? The other victim was a white homeless man, and their names were, respectively, Trey Reed of Delta State University and Cory Zukatis. After all, it’s not like the Mississippi police have a history of covering up hate crimes or anything. (eye roll to infinity)

We are living in dark times, indeed.

And on that grim note, I am heading into the spice mines. Stay safe, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back in the morning.

Third Rate Romance

Monday and back to the office with me this morning. The Saints lost yesterday, but at least it was an exciting game. I slept well and feel good this morning, which is a good thing. I have to cover the clinic today instead of having an Admin day, and we’re book pretty solid, just as we were last Thursday and almost everyone showed up. It’s fine, I do love my job after all, but sometimes that’s a little draining. Ah, well, I can go home after work and chill out with my Sparky, who was cuddling with me this morning after the first tap of the snooze button. Bless his little heart, that’s not exactly helping me get up in the morning.

Yesterday, despite the Saints loss, was pretty good. I felt good when I got up in the morning–there was some fatigue still in my hips, but nothing horrifying–and while I didn’t do all the chores I wanted to get done, I did do some, and ran the dishwasher. I still have all those boxes from Costco to take out to the trash, but maybe I can get that done tonight after work. But while the Saints game was on, I actually wrote and read some more of The Hunting Wives, which is so different from the show but in a very interesting way. And the writing work I got done was good work; I could tell as I was working that this was good stuff, which is awesome. The short story is due today, and I just need to sand down some of the rougher edges on it before I turn it in, and then full focus on getting Scotty finished. I was actually thinking a lot about the Scotty yesterday, too, which is kind of cool. I feel like I’m getting back into the writing groove again, and once the Scotty is finished, I’d like to get a rough draft of Chlorine finished by the end of the year and perhaps start another novel before January 1. We’ll see, I guess.

We also didn’t watch the Emmys, primarily because we don’t care that much, choosing to watch The Thursday Murder Club, with its incredible cast, instead. I’ve not read the book it was based on, but have heard great things about it, and the movie was absolutely charming and very well done. I do hope there will be more of these…and then we watched this week’s Platonic before starting the new season of Only Murders in the Building. (I saw someone on social media this weekend say that they were convinced the best way to watch the show was to assume Steve Martin and Martin Short are playing a gay couple–which I can actually see, but alas not canon.)

As many of us saw many so-called allies to marginalized communities slip into their Klan robes over the course of the last week and weekend, outing themselves as, if not racists and homophobes, then are certainly okay with homophobia and racism and oppression…this morning I noticed on social media that there’s yet another furor in the m/m community; this time about those conservative women who idolized the late unlamented provocateur and everything he stood for…I generally no longer comment on this subgenre of literature as a general rule because I have nothing to gain by saying anything. I noticed back in the late aughts that there was an awful lot of homophobia and bigotry and fetishization in that community, and merely asking “why do you want to write about gay men when you hate and marginalize them?” unleashed a torrent of hatred on me…you know, typical straight white women who cannot stand being questioned about anything. One of the “authors” publicly claimed that I was “clearly jealous of their careers”–um, you’re neither Harlan Coben nor Stephen King nor Nora Roberts; why would I be jealous of you? The vitriol and hate and dogpiling by these horrible women ON ACTUAL GAY MEN with questions about them and their motivations…no, can’t possibly be homophobic, could they? They also would threaten us with voting against queer equality unless we knuckled under to their appropriation and creation of a fake public homosexuality. The stark refusal of any m/m authors to denounce homophobes within their own community back then was kind of a tell to me that I and other gay men are not only not safe in those communities, but that they would always close ranks if there was anything critical from an “outsider.”

I’ve never cared who writes what, to be honest. If you want to write about gay men falling in love and finding their happily ever after, go for it and I wish you well with your writing and I hope you do well with it, as I do every other author out there (until you prove yourself to be filth). But if you’re going to, and you don’t support queer equality (or vote against it because reasons), you really need to look inward and reexamine yourself and your motivations: why are you writing (or reading) about people you don’t support or care about? How is that any less of a betrayal than those of performers who make money off queer audiences but actually hate them and are transactional (cough Kristin Chenowith among others cough)? If you write about queer people we are always going to assume you’re safe.

Talk about a bait and switch. You’re contemptible– a deplorable, if you will.

And yes, we get angry when we are stabbed in the back. It’s also why I never completely trust “allies.”

But it is nice, in 2025, to see m/m authors calling the homophobia out. Thank you, m/m writing community, for standing with us in this moment.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Monday, and I’ll be back in the morning.

Midnight Ride

TIGERS WIN!

It was a great day of college football, and the day was capped off by LSU’s 20-10 win over Florida in Death Valley. The game was very tense, and turned into a defensive struggle the Tigers won. LSU’s offense looked a bit sluggish, but the defense was sharp despite losing two starting linebackers early in the game. Georgia-Tennessee was probably the best game of the day, a back and forth struggle with numerous lead changes in the fourth quarter until Georgia turned on the Georgia switch and won in overtime. After the LSU game, we watched the exciting finish of Notre Dame-Texas A&M (way to go, Aggies!), before going up to bed. I slept well, but do feel a bit laggard this morning. Hopefully, taking a shower and getting cleaned up in a moment will wake me completely. The Saints game is on at twelve, so I’ll just have it on while I’m cleaning and working today. Tulane also won yesterday, beating Duke, which is also cool; first time since 1998 both LSU and Tulane are both 3-0 to start the season. I still am not completely convinced LSU should be ranked third in the country, but as I watched yesterday I realized I don’t care much about the rankings, which really are nothing other than opinions, and often biased ones at that. I also don’t care about the play-off race, either, or who gets into it. I think I’m just watching for good games, really, nowadays, more than anything else. Of course I want LSU to win it all, but…no big deal if they don’t, either.

I did order groceries to be delivered yesterday, so I didn’t have to do anything outside of the house other than take out trash and light the grill (and cook). I’m going to have to walk over to Walgreens at some point (ugh) but other than that and taking out some recycling, I don’t have to go outside much today, either. It really is sad how much I tend towards being a housebound hermit.

It was really nice to shut the rest of the world out yesterday and focus on something besides the collapse of the country. I don’t think the Right’s attempt to turn Charlie Kirk into a martyr is going to work–and his “poor wife” is just as horrible as, if not worse, than the deceased. It’s always amazing to me the way people will always try to make victims out of conservative women, i.e. “poor Melania” or “poor Widow Kirk” etc., when they are exactly where they want to be and no one is forcing them to stay. They are completely on board with their husbands’ bigotry and hate, and reinforce it. They will even turn on their own men if they have second thoughts1. (I really do need to read They Were Her Property.) Tananarive Due also explores this sentiment somewhat in her brilliant The Reformatory also touched on this…and maybe it needs to be the focus of a book where I can explore it all.

I will also add that I am sick and tired of fucking straight white bitches who use my community to bolster (and build) their careers only to stab us all in the back. That’s so fucking despicable. I was never a fan of Kristin Chenowith before, (or Selma Blair, for that matter) and the fact this living troll doll (put a bone in her hair and see what she looks like) is perfectly willing to piss on the community makes me glad I never saw the appeal, frankly. The “pick me” theater gays will undoubtedly continue to worship her (I’ve seen them defending her, but her continued silence speaks more than volumes–i.e. she doesn’t feel the need to explain herself to her queer fans, so in other words…we can all go fuck ourselves. Prove me wrong), but there are also gay Republicans. I turned my back on Donna Summer in the 1980s; you think I’ll forgive this bitch for her opportunism? Here’s hoping she gets a pie in her face on her next opening night. She deserves worse.

Oh, dear, I wonder if this is going to get me on a list? Funny how the Right’s crackdown of free speech in the wake of Mr. Free Speech’s shooting goes against everything he (and they) supposedly believe in. And don’t even get me started on the waste of taxpayer money trying to canonize him since his death. They have a new Ashli Babbitt, don’t they? His-and-hers traitors to worship?

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Sunday, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back in the morning.

Sigh, Florence.
  1. Which was my primary takeaway from Gone with the Wind, by the way. ↩︎

Love the One You’re With

GEAUX TIGERS!

I feel good this morning, like I slept well and recharged, which is always a nice feeling. My coffee tastes great, and so does the coffee cake we got at Costco yesterday. It was a pretty good day, despite some missteps (is every Walgreens in New Orleans a portal to hell?) and I had a strange experience getting gas, which I’ll have to sort out once the charge hits, but other than that and the horrible accident at Jackson and Prytania I saw the aftermath of (someone ran a red light and totaled their car hitting another one, thoughts and prayers) as the cops and tow trucks cleared the intersection. After finishing my work, we picked up my copy of the new Lou Berney and went to Costco. It wasn’t that expensive, comparatively speaking, compared to other shopping trips there. We came home, settled in after putting everything away, and watched this week’s Peacemaker before finishing Wednesday, which was a lot of fun before going to bed (I fell asleep in my chair catching up on news). Today I am going to order groceries, read (and edit), and work on the house during the football games today. Great games today, too–capping off with Florida at LSU (Geaux Tigers!) tonight!

Turns out Charlie Kirk’s murder was MAGA-on-MAGA crime, and not someone on the left at all. With their usual hypocrisy, MAGA was all in on “civil war” and “killing Democrats” before the truth was revealed and they immediately went in to “oh, no mental health that poor troubled young man” with no acknowledgement of their most recent blunder (they really are tiresome). And they wonder why we fucking hate them? I also didn’t have “Broadway icon whose entire career is due to gays being MAGA” on my 2025 Bingo card, either, the disgusting piece of shit. I never cared much for her–her voice, both speaking and singing, always sounded like a castrated chipmunk to me–but seriously, bitch? And you’re opening a new show on Broadway soon? I do wonder if the shrunken-headed leather-skinned flotilla of sewer shit will walk it back, but we really aren’t the ones…as she is about to fucking find out. Thoughts and prayers, trash. How’d that work out for Donna Summer? Do you think anyone is going to be booking Gloria Gaynor anywhere for the rest of her life? Gays have long memories, and we never forget being betrayed by someone who pretended to be an ally for money and fame.

I also loved the “free speech” advocates screaming about the communities he targeted not feeling bad enough about his murder. Remind me of the memorial day Jews have annually to mourn Hitler? If you weren’t targeted by this money-grubbing grifter and merchant of hate you don’t get to lecture or scold those who were. I blocked a lot of people over the last couple of days. Being reminded of how much trash is in the crime writing community is never a bad thing…another reminder of why I will never go to another crime writers’ conference ever again.

And for the record, that’s to protect these pieces of shit from me, because I am done being Mr. Nice Gay.

Sigh.

And on that note, I need to get my day going before the morning slips through my fingers. Have a great Saturday, Constant Reader, and GEAUX TIGERS!

The blues in this image are exceptional, making him look better, too.

You Are The Woman

Work at home Friday, but I won’t be able to attend my two virtual meetings today because I am getting my COVID vaccine and after that I am getting blood work done. I hope I don’t react too badly to the shot; the last one was rough and I felt sore and fatigued for like a day. I did sleep pretty well, and the Master of the Apartment let me sleep a little while later before smacking me repeatedly with a paw (claws out) to get me up to feed him, the little darling. I was tired last night after work, but nothing horrible; normal tired, as opposed to the all-encompassing and horrific fatigue. I’d happily go the rest of my life without feeling that fatigued again.

Ugh, so much to do, what else is new? LOL. We’re going to go to Costco later, and I have to get the mail and order some groceries for delivery and clean up around here after I finish doing my quality assurance stuff. Glad that I am feeling not so tired this morning, because all that running around (I also have to get gas at some point, too; getting really low), and of course there’s laundry to do and dishes to put away as always. Heavy heaving sigh. I do sometimes think it would be nice to have a staff, but I’d also hate someone else in my house doing shit. I don’t even like it when people are here doing repairs. I have always seen the Lost Apartment as a safe space away from the rest of the world, and having other people in my space isn’t something I’ve ever been terribly comfortable with. It’s my sanctuary!

The country continues to go down its tragic path and the empire continues falling. I say it often and I will say it again: I am so glad I am already old and don’t have my entire life in front of me, because the future looks pretty fucking grim and dark. Sorry, kids–but this is yet another reminder of how smart I was to never have any.

Crime Ink: Iconic continues to get marvelous reviews everywhere, which is absolutely delightful. I’m having creative flashes but haven’t been writing as much as I should, either. I have a short story due next week I need to work on this weekend and of course, I have to finish this damned Scotty book by the end of the month. The irony is I know what needs to be done with both but haven’t had much success sticking with it and making the words flow and the sentences form. I’m not in despair or anything like that about it, but it’s getting to that point, I think. I just need to get into the habit of writing something every day that isn’t this blog (or my newsletter).

Maybe today, maybe tomorrow. I know I am going to read and edit some more today.

Oh! I was interviewed recently (which you can read here,) and it went live the other day; I keep forgetting to post the link here because my stream of consciousness blogging inevitably is coming from a tired and foggy brain that doesn’t remember anything anymore.

And on that note, it’s Spice Mine City for me. Have a great Friday, COnstant Reader, and I shall be back in the morning, sure as the sun rises.

Rock Me Gently

Thursday morning and my last day in the office for the week! Huzzah! The bed felt very comfortable this morning, and Sparky has started cuddling with me in the mornings after the alarm goes off the first time, which makes it even harder to get up. (Of course, he’s only doing this because he wants me to get up and feed him, the mercenary little dear.) I also feel a bit tired in the legs, which means I will probably be exhausted when I get off work, but that’s okay. There are worse things. We’re also completely booked up in the clinic, too, so I will be kept hopping at the office all day, too. I think I will most likely just come straight home from work tonight, too, although my copy of the new Lou Berney has come in for me to pick up, which I’ll do this weekend, most likely.

Today is also 9/11, which is always a rather somber day. Twenty four years ago, the country and the world changed forever. My condolences to those who lost people on that day, as well as those forever traumatized by witnessing (or escaping) the tragedy. And I hope those who exploited the emotion of the moment and the years immediately after to push an un-American agenda through Congress to gain more power. The PATRIOT Act was the first step on the road to authoritarianism, and it’s still in effect…the key word to throw out the Bill of Rights was, apparently, “terrorism.”

The murder of Charlie Kirk yesterday was a real shock; when I first saw that he’d been shot on social media I wasn’t sure it wasn’t a hoax or some trolling or something else like that…but it did turn out to be true, and he died at the hospital. I saw one of the long-distance videos of it, which was sickening enough (and it was a result of auto-play on social media), and have no desire to the ones that were shot closer and are much more graphic. I am not now, nor have ever been, an advocate of violence of this type, but at the same time I am not going to feel bad that someone who thought I should be stoned to death for the crime of existing–and no one is going to guilt or shame me into feeling otherwise. I saw a lot of cisgender white women (of course) taking off their masks once and for all yesterday, who are apparently okay with gays being stoned to death and Blacks are inferior and school shootings are the price we pay for freedom. I am also tired of this double standard the right-wingers live by–how they haven’t been driven insane by the cognitive dissonance in their shitty little brains is beyond me. There has already been plenty of political violence from the Right–1/6/20 ring any bells? Remember the Minnesota legislators and their spouses? Remember the arson of the Pennsylvania governor’s home? Where was all this collective right wing outrage then? We should all be shocked and appalled…but no one seems to care that the right is calling for the murders of all non-MAGA’s in the country? For a civil war? OVER CHARLIE KIRK?

Bitch, please.

If you want to mourn him, that’s fine. I never tell anyone what they can think or feel–but I one thing I have never, and will never, tolerate people trying to climb on some kind of moral high horse about this and trying to scold/shame people about how to feel and react. You’re not my mother, thank you very much, and if you’re perfectly okay with someone saying queer people should be stoned to death, I know you aren’t safe for me. You’ll vote against my rights and dignity, and you’ll turn your head when the military police come for us. You’re just a good little German, and I don’t fucking need to know your dirty, unwashed wide flat Karen ass.

He wanted me, and others like me, to be put to death. That is who you’re telling me I should be empathetic and kind about? Were Black people supposed to grieve Bull Connor? Robert E. Lee?

And in the 1950s you would have claimed a black child whistled at you and never admitted culpability for his murder. That’s who you are.

And so very interesting that your panties are in a moist wad over Charlie Kirk but you’re okay with the school shooting yesterday? Is the air so thin up there on your high-horse that you’re not getting enough oxygen to your brain?

I also love knowing that the only reason you’re friends with me, either on-line or in real life, is because I sometimes edit anthologies so you want to be on my good side. Welp, you kind of blew that, didn’t you? I never forget. So sorry.

This is also why I say I respect Westboro Baptist’s homophobia: they don’t pretend. At least they’re honest–and when you’re negatively compared to Westboro, you need to reevaluate everything about your life. They won’t, of course; they think everyone else should change.

Ugh. This is such a dark time. I hate being here for the inevitable fall of the American empire. This post will probably cost me friends and followers, but

And on that somber note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a good day, Constant Reader. Here’s hoping we make it through all of this.

I wonder if this picture is too sexual for the prudish Puritans at Meta?

Abraham, Martin and John

Wednesday and Pay-the-Bills Day has rolled around for the first time in September. I didn’t sleep all that great, but don’t feel groggy at all this morning. However, if I had to I could easily go back to bed and fall asleep all over again. I am slowly starting to lift myself out of the abyss and pull my life back together. Yesterday was a pretty good day, actually. I felt great all day, not tired at all, and was able to get a lot done at the office. I wasn’t even tired when I got home after work, either! Huzzah and hurray! I spent some time getting caught up on the news when I got home, and then read for a while before Paul got home and I went to bed. I don’t know if this is all because of the injection on Monday, but whatever caused it, I am delighted and thrilled it happened. I suspect I’ll be a bit more tired this evening than I was yesterday, but I will happily take it, you know? The fatigue over the weekend was so intense and brutal–I’ve never been so tired it hurt, you know?–and I hope I never experience that again.

I am a bit tired this morning (mostly because of restless sleep and waking up several times during the night), but it’s not that horrible fatigue, which I fucking despise. I feel a little off, but nothing terrible that I can’t deal with, but no promises for this afternoon, you know? I was thinking about ordering groceries to be delivered this evening, but am not sure I shouldn’t just wait until Saturday. I am going to barbecue for the LSU-Florida game–burgers and cheese dogs, the regular tailgating action–and there are an awful lot of great games Saturday–Georgia-Tennessee, Wisconsin-Alabama, and two other games at the same time as LSU, Vanderbilt-South Carolina and Texas A&M-Notre Dame. I do love football season, even as it takes away from my productivity.

At least I enjoy cleaning while the games are on.

The world and country continue to burn to the ground, and social media continues to be filled with bots, grifters, rage baiters, and sad, broken people lashing out in a pathetic attempt to somehow feel better about themselves as American mediocrities and failures. I have very little hope for the future of this country, now that the small-minded hateful bigots who don’t understand the first thing about freedom and liberty are in control. It’s also interesting to see how many Americans are into the whole fascism thing. Sinclair Lewis was very prescient with It Can’t Happen Here, wasn’t he? I also saw some insane shit-posting about To Kill a Mockingbird being racist1, but not for the reasons most people do. No, this empty-minded moron was bitching about the book being racist because it showed an all-white jury wrongfully convicting a Black man for a crime they knew he didn’t commit thus making white people look bad.

Excuse the fuck out of me?

As I replied, you’re right–it would have never gotten to trial. He would have been lynched the same night he was accused.

Because that was how it was done in Alabama in the 1930s, and to suggest anything else is a blatant lie.

I also love the MAGA bitch from Georgia who got the proposed Hyundai plant shut down completely, dealing a harsh blow to her own state’s economy and that of the district she is running to represent. If this were an episode of Law & Order, her body would be found and they’d work their way back around to her ignorance and stupidity. I am so tired of the rampant stupidity as the American empire crumbles and dies…this is going to be one of those times future history students will look back on and think but why were they so stupid? Couldn’t they SEE?

I was once that child reading history.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely, lovely day, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back tomorrow.

Artist’s rendering of the Temple at Edfu, Egypt
  1. My feelings about To Kill a Mockingbird are very conflicted, as I don’t see it as a great American novel about race the way most white people see it, and that may become an essay at some point. ↩︎

Shambala

Tuesday, and we made it through Monday, did we not?

My first injection went very well, I think. It doesn’t hurt at all; the needle is tiny, and the device is pretty easy to assemble and put the medicine into. It’s every eight months, and there’s an app to remind you to reorder and to inject, and it only takes about three and a half minutes to process. I think I can handle it the next time on my own, and it’s not going to be a terrible inconvenience for me, nor was it painful. I wasn’t entirely sure the needle had punctured my skin, to be honest, but I didn’t feel medicine running down my body, either, so it must have worked. The medicine vial was empty, tho, when it beeped. All in all, not bad, and while I am not entirely certain there were no side effects–the arm where I got my flu shot on Friday, for example, was achy and sore, which doesn’t make sense. I did get tired in the afternoon, but…not sure that had anything to do with the shot as I was tired already. I slept really well last night, and had a bit of a sinus attack this morning when I first got up. I feel rested and relaxed, not fatigued or exhausted, but we’ll see how the morning and the rest of the day go. (I also took a Claritin to battle the sinuses, and once that kicked in everything is rather heavenly this morning.)

I stopped and made some groceries on the way home from work last night, and baked potatoes once I was safely home and everything was put away. Sparky cuddled in my lap as I had on the news while reading (or trying to read) my manuscript, and after dinner we enjoyed an episode of Wednesday before I went to bed. It was a nice, calm, relaxing evening at home, and I think that may have helped with my sleep. I also got my COVID vaccine prescription called in to Walgreens (CVS doesn’t have any in stock) because fucking Louisiana and our POS shit governor and legislature passed laws requiring a prescription for it. A prescription from a doctor for a vaccine for a communicable disease.

I am so glad I don’t have kids.

I have to say that Claritin has made a world of difference. I actually feel good; not tired or fatigued in any way, and the telltale leg tiredness is also a thing of the past. So, it was all sinus-related this morning. The shot didn’t have any side effects that I can tell, so we’ll see how that COVID shot on Friday will go. Sometimes they make me ill or tired or both, but having had COVID–yeah, don’t want that coming back anytime soon into my system…and of course my immune system is also compromised now. SO, anti-vaxxers? Go fuck yourselves, and fuck Florida, too. Why would anyone bring their kids on vacation there now?

I do hope this good feeling lasts for a while, you know? I have so much to do–nothing new there, right?–and today I am going to make a list. I need to take the reins of my life by the hand again, and steer it forward properly. I hope this good feeling isn’t just a temporary thing…and on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a great day, Constant Reader, and I will be back again in the morning.