Tag: Tucker Carlson

Baby I’m Yours

Remote Friday, in which I get to work at home! Woo-hoo! I kind of slept later this morning than usual, but I was also very tired yesterday. I went to my appointments, and by the time I got home from that running around I was worn down. I got a new prescription for my glasses, ordered a new pair which should arrive next week, and also saw the dermatologist. I have two more appointments to go over the next week before those are all out of the way (I’ll also have to fast and do labs before I leave for Kentucky.) I have on-line trainings to do for working at home today–I’ll start on those once I finish this and a second cup of coffee, and maybe eat some breakfast, and I also have a lot of cleaning up to do around here after I finish working. I also am planning on walking to city hall this afternoon to vote, because I understand the assignment. I also read more of Gabino’s book, which I am enjoying and savoring, and hope to get that finished this weekend. I also found my paperback of Shadowland, so I can go ahead and listen to it on my way north week after next. That is exciting, even if it will be after Halloween and Halloween Horror Month will technically be complete…but I also didn’t get to read as much this month as I would have liked, so I don’t have a problem with my horror reading spilling over into November. I think after that I am going to make an effort to read for at least an hour every night when I get home from work; I really need to get back into my love of reading, which has always sustained me for most of my life.

I also like my dermatologist, and we’re going to explore more treatment options for my psoriasis. He also shot up my elbows with some steroids to try to clear up those nasty patches of it that never go away. He did say I had minor psoriasis–which was another shot at my egocentrism; the four or five small patches on my body are nothing, really; most people have even more than that, and it’s not really considered a major problem if it’s less than fifty percent of your skin? I wasn’t wearing my hearing aids, so I’m not entirely certain I heard everything correctly. I also have to go back in a month to see how the steroid shots (some were nothing, some hurt like a motherfucker) worked, and possibly get more of them. Now that I’m older and somewhat smarter, I am using my health insurance instead of “saving” it for some ungodly reason. I was thinking about this very thing last night–how little of my adult life I’ve actually had health insurance, and how little I’ve used it once I secured it–and needing to get all of these things checked out. I am seeing a podiatrist this coming week to see if there’s anything that can be done about my feet’s pronation and the collapsed arches and so forth. I don’t want ankle replacements–knees or hips, either–but this is to see also whether I have arthritis in my big toes, too. (I have ignored my feet for far too long as an adult as well, but that’s more of a story for an essay about insurance and its importance and how it really needs more regulation than it currently has, along with insurance horror stories.)

Better late than never, right?

Paul was also late getting home last night, so I spent some quality time as a kitty bed last night in my chair for Sparky, who is getting more and more cuddly as he gets older. I spent most of the evening alternating between college football coverage and news clips; I am so much happier now that I’ve blocked the legacy media from my socials and deleted Twitter from my life. I don’t spend as much time on social media as I used to, and that maybe is the best thing that has come from the murder of Twitter; my social media addiction is far less urgent and far less important and much easier to think meh why bother? It’s really not a bad thing, and blocking everyone who is ignorant or trolling on the social media I have left is a godsend. I don’t need to know what the right is saying or doing; there’s no cellar for them to reach in their race to the bottom. Do I need to know Tucker Carlson’s creepy child spanking fantasies? No. I don’t need to know what he or his team are saying or doing to know that he’s a threat to the country and to the Republic, and the cognitive dissonance from the ‘patriots’ who also seem to hate their country–how can you be a patriot and have such flagrant contempt for your government and country? They want to elect a dictator, but they’re the real Americans. That kind of stupidity should hurt, you know?

And yes, part of the reason I want to walk to City Hall to vote today is because the Swifties have taken over New Orleans for the Eras Tour, which has three (!) shows this weekend at the Superdome. Friendship bracelets are draped over the Dome, which is totally amazing, and the Swifties have such good energy, can you blame me for wanting to be in the midst of this, and see how the CBD has done itself up for the weekend to welcome them? There were a lot of them posting about their trips down here for the shows on social media and how excited they were to not only see her but to do it during Halloween season in New Orleans? Chef’s kiss, no notes. The walk will undoubtedly wear me out, but that’s fine and I definitely could use the exercise as I try to will myself back into better physical condition. Tomorrow I’ll make groceries and clean and read and watch football games. I did get most of the dishes done last night, and need to clean out the refrigerator today at some point. I’m kind of looking forward to this last weekend of peace and quiet and writing and reading and college football–and getting caught up on our shows tonight. Huzzah!

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a great day, Constant Reader, and I may be back later; one never knows.

There really is nothing sexier than black underwear.

Denial

And here we are at Tuesday morning already. The weather is supposed to be shitty today–rain and thunderstorms and flash flood alerts for today and tomorrow; it already started last night–and yesterday it was in the 80’s when I got off work. It’s 72 now and the sun isn’t up yet, either–the high for today and tomorrow is in the low 80’s. I suspect this is going to be a long, hot wet summer in New Orleans.

I came home from work yesterday and worked on my book, around the cat neediness (always), watched John Oliver’s impressive takedown of Tucker Carlson (the new Bill O’Reilly) on Last Week Tonight, and then just went to the Taylor Swift World Youtube channel and let her music videos play–along with some live performances–on stream while I put corrections into the manuscript. I am now up to Chapter 5, and am hoping to get even further along with it today. The goal is to get it all finished and input this week, so I can print it out yet again and decide on a structural edit over the weekend, with new writing to be put in place while cutting down excessive wordiness and repetition throughout the entire thing. But it’s going to be a good book–whether it actually winds up doing what I originally intended for it to do when it’s finally finished remains to be seen, but I think I will be pleased with it.

Yesterday the Lambda (Lammy) nominations were released, and as always, there was a bit of controversy involved. It’s inevitable, really; every year when they announce their finalists, people get angry and old grudges come out. I generally tend to avoid these conversations; I came to a place of peace with the organization awhile ago and let go of all the turbulent feelings just the mere mention of the organization or its awards could trigger in me. I worked there twenty years ago, and while it wasn’t a great experience in some ways, I learned an awful lot–about non-profits, publishing, how to put together a magazine, management skills, etc.–while I was editor of Lambda Book Report (it was weird; someone had reminded me of that on Sunday on social media–I had done one of those ‘post a memory of me’ things on Facebook, and Richard Labonte brought up meeting me at a Lammy reading at the San Francisco Library back when I was editor of LBR…it’s been so long even I forget about that; and it’s been scrubbed from my author bio since at least 2004). I also made some great friendships that still exist today. Overall, I prefer to remember the positives from working there now rather than the negatives (there were a lot of negatives, in all honesty). There were changes that needed to be made to the organization back then; changes have been made in the years since Paul and I left their employ (I do remember, with no small amusement, being told when I quit by some people that I was “ruining my career”–over fifty books and fifty short stories later here I am still, so no, people who told me that, you weren’t channeling Nostradamus), but I don’t think some of them were the ones that were needed or even necessary. For about three or four years in the early aughts, after quitting I was still somewhat emotionally vested in the organization…but the more time passed the less vested I felt and now I can read complaining threads on social media about the organization and not have any kind of vested emotional reaction to any of it; and while I do think the history of their awards is important, I do think they’ve kind of lost their way. But it’s not my problem and it’s very easy to be an armchair quarterback and make critiques–it doesn’t cost anything, after all, even in a time investment–when working to make those changes is much harder in terms of work and time. I’ve won the award twice–Best Anthology and Best Gay Mystery–and have been nominated so many other times I’ve really lost count. It’s somewhere in the teens, and I know the most nominated authors are me, Ellen Hart, That Bitch Ford, and Lawrence Schimel, and not in that order (I believe Ellen has the most), but whenever I try to remember which books and what years and what categories was I nominated in, I inevitably forget something–as I always skip something when I am counting how many books I’ve done….just last night I was remembering that I co-edited a vampire erotica anthology with M. Christian for Alyson Books that came out in the August before Hurricane Katrina, and I can’t remember it’s name–Blood something; Lust, perhaps? I only have a few copies and whenever I come across one, it always catches me a bit off guard: “Oh, yes, the book I always forget…”

And if anyone would have told me twenty five years ago I would lose track of award nominations and how many books I’ve actually done, I would have laughed in their face. But awards aren’t as important to me as they were when I was first getting started–don’t get me wrong, they are very lovely and I appreciate making short-lists, which is always a nice pat on the back from colleagues–and so I never see short-lists I didn’t make and think maybe next time. I just don’t like getting caught up in the hoopla of them; wondering if I am going to win, wanting to win, being disappointed when I don’t. That kind of egotism isn’t healthy, frankly, and I don’t like I seem to immediately launch into a competitive mode once the pleasure and surprise of being nominated wears off and naked ambition rises inside me.

While some ambition is necessary–you’ll never finish writing anything without it–out of control ambition is not a trait I like or aspire to; but it does happen sometimes and I have to reel it back in.

I don’t like it, quite frankly.

And on that note, tis back to the spice mines with me. Have a lovely Tuesday!