Strange Way

Well, Christmas itself has passed and now we are in the slide to New Year’s and Twelfth Night…which means it’ll be Carnival season again soon. I don’t think I’m ready for Carnival this coming year, but is anyone, ever? I am back up before dawn to go into the office today; I don’t think we’re going to be very busy in the clinic today–I checked the schedule and we will definitely be busy on January 2–because we’re in that weird in-between-holidays time. I hope everyone’s Christmas was pleasant; mine was. I slept in yesterday and did nothing around the house other than some of the dishes. It also rained, and we drove out to Elmwood via Airline Highway, which was fun. Airline isn’t a highway I use very often (like the Earhardt), and it’s actually a great back way to Jefferson Parish and that part of the metropolitan area. I don’t know that part of town very well, so it’s always interesting to go out there. (Elmwood is out by the Huey P. Long bridge across the river.) We did see Babygirl (more on that later), and gorged on popcorn and soda. It was kind of nice just kicking back and not stressing about getting work done or cleaning the house (although I probably should stress myself out about the housework more often, or at least more regularly); I think from now on I am going to treat myself to a literal day off/holiday whenever one rolls around again. I’m also in that contemplative state that usually comes around between Christmas and New Year’s. What kind of year was it, did I have, and what do I want to accomplish in the coming year? That’s the thing about a year’s turning, you can’t help but get dragged into a contemplative reflective state whether you want to or not. I think it was a good year for me for the most part personally; it was mostly a recovery year for the horror that was 2023, to be honest. Ordinarily I would be thinking I am an utter failure for not accomplishing much of anything in a year–but I am being kinder to myself. The change in medications really kicked in this year (it began in December 2023), and there are still things I can get anxious about, but there’s not a physical reaction to anxiety and stress anymore and I really appreciate that more than anything else with the medication change; it was always the physical reaction (increased heart rate, nausea, sweating, trembling) which was the worst for me, which was why public speaking was always torture for me. (The reading the other night was a piece of cake, which was a lovely experience.)

I keep thinking today is Monday, which is more than a little annoying, honestly. My week is very screwed up. But it’s okay. I have to run errands after work tonight–grocery store and mail service–and I don’t have to come in tomorrow; I was going to cover for someone if they needed me to, but it turns out they don’t so I can work remotely.

I did not get to watch my two favorite Christmas movies this year (Auntie Mame and The Lion in Winter) because I would have had to pay to stream them; I do find it very interesting that films of a certain age aren’t streaming free anywhere. Why are old movies pay-to-play but many newer releases–even brand spanking new ones–are free to stream in numerous places? I guess I will never understand the economics of show business. We tried watching a gay horror movie last night (Ganymede, it’s terrible; we were an hour in and I wasn’t sure if the movie was pro-gay or anti-gay, and when you’re still not sure when there’s only a half an hour left? No need for us to watch that final half hour. The writing was bad, the acting overwrought, and I wasn’t really quite sure of the point of the film….so we gave up on it.

Babygirl was interesting, and made me quite uncomfortable more than a few times. Nicole Kidman is fantastic in it, but…this is one of those movies that I don’t think I can completely appreciate because I’m not a woman, if that makes any sense? Kidman plays an incredibly bright, driven and successful CEO of a major corporation…but is sexually dissatisfied in her marriage and her perfect appearing life. She literally has it all, but something is still missing in her life, and her desire to maintain her outward perfection while dealing with a weird sense of longing for something missing is portrayed quite compellingly. She feels drawn to an intern at the company, and he is drawn to her as well; that is never truly explored (what does he want?) but the movie is hers, and we see everything from her point of view. So, is she an untrustworthy narrator? We’re only seeing how she continues with her facade of perfection even in light of her torrid affair, that’s fulfilling some need in her–to be controlled, to be trained, and the sex and loss of control is exactly what she is needing, even though she is risking everything–career, marriage, family, wealth–here. Like I said, it was interesting; the story is the character study and evaluation of her life and her present. Is the ending happy? I’m not entirely sure, but in the final scene, and her delivery of the last line? That’s the character we’re never really shown, and that final scene is so brilliant that it changes the entire film from what you think you were watching.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Boxing Day, or day after Christmas if you’re not in a commonwealth of the Empire.

Seven

Saturday morning and it’s rather chilly in the Lost Apartment . The sun is shining and there aren’t many clouds in the sky–I see plenty of blue up there at the moment–and I haven’t checked the weather yet. All right, I just looked and it’s currently forty-nine, with a high of fifty-three predicted for the day. Sounds like the kind of day when one just wants to stay indoors all day and under a blanket, does it not? I have a lot to get done this morning–the sink is full of dirty dishes; more than will fit in the dishwasher, so I am going to have to do two loads–and of course, there’s filing to do and organizing to be done; notes to be read on the work-in-progress as well as chapters to be revised; and I’d like to be able to read some more of The Bad Seed, if not finish reading it today. LSU is playing Alabama tonight, and it’s not going to be pretty, but at least it won’t be disappointing. It’s very weird, there’s always a minor hope, even in bad years, that we might beat them, but not this one. I love my Tigers and I’ll tune in–but I am under no illusions that they’ll pull off a major upset here. Our only hope is a sustained three and a half hour miracle, really; but this entire football season has been such a wash anyway–I really think it should have been skipped, which is what I’ve thought all along–yet here we are.

I do occasionally think that LSU having one of the greatest football teams and seasons of all time last year somehow broke the world, and if LSU having a shitty season is what it takes to reset everything, I can live with that sacrifice.

Yesterday was a good day. I had to swing by the office because I had run out of lube for the condom packs–I brought home flavored–so I had to swing by there to pick up regular lube tubes–and then after returning home, I made condom packs while watching Logan’s Run, yesterday’s entry into the Cynical 70’s Film Festival. I had never before seen it; I, of course, remember what it’s plot was–a world where everyone dies at thirty; the title character is about to turn thirty and he runs. Well, turns out that was a vast over-simplification; Logan, played by a stunningly beautiful young Michael York (I’ve waxed euphoric over his beauty before; I had a major crush on him throughout the 1970’s; have continued to appreciate his work as I got older; and he came to the Williams Festival one year, so I not only got to meet him but was delighted to find he was very charming), is a “sandman”–in the future, after over–population and depletion of resources and so forth, society collapsed and a utopian human city was built under a dome, and all humans devote themselves merely to pleasure, and when they turn thirty, they are renewed; in a ritual, everyone gathers to watch them sacrifice themselves, to be reborn–someone has to die in order for someone to be reborn. The “sandmen” are those who hunt down the ones who decide they want to live and run for their lives. When caught, they are killed and are dead forever–no chance of being reborn. Logan actually has about four years left before he turns thirty, but he is given the job to search for Sanctuary–a place all the runners try to get to safely–and the controlling computer also speeds up his life, turning the life clock in his hand all the way up to almost time for him to die. Jenny Agutter plays the love interest who can help him get to Sanctuary; they run, and it becomes very weird once they escape. The special effects are pretty bad–the movie was pre-Star Wars–and so are the sets and costume designs. It does, I decided, fit into the film festival because the film itself is kind of cynical; it basically took American youth obsession and created a world based entirely in youth; and it’s interesting they chose thirty as the end point of life–after all, the youth movement of the 1960’s always said “never trust anyone over thirty.” As I watched, I couldn’t help but think of all the possibilities they couldn’t explore in a two hour film–and thought, you know, this show could easily rebooted as a mini-series that could go into all of those explorations–the collapse of society, who built and created this new world, who actually is in power in this utopian paradise, how did they get the initial buy-in necessary–and so on and so forth. And with our country growing evermore obsessed with youth and beauty–yeah, this could be really good. Logan would be a good role for someone like Nick Jonas or Alexander Dreymon or any number of beautiful young actors in the business today.

The lovely thing about HBO MAX is they are continually adding more and more films to their TCM app–you can only imagine my delight to see the delightful Peter O’Toole film The Stunt Man was recently added; The Ruling Class is already there. I am a huge Peter O’Toole fan–the fact the man never won a competitive Oscar despite giving career-defining performance in those two films, along with My Favorite Year, The Lion in Winter, Becket, and Lawrence of Arabia never ceases to amaze me. Both The Stunt Man and The Ruling Class certainly fit into my Cynical 70’s Film Festival–they have also added the original The Omega Man and Soylent Green, both of which I intend to watch despite the fact both star Charlton Heston, the king of over-acting. But…both definitely belong in the Festival, and I really wish they would add Serpico.

I also would like to watch Cruising again–to see it from a present day perspective.

The Mandalorian continues to delight as well, and our favorite raunchy junior high puberty comedy, Big Mouth, also came back yesterday.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Saturday, Constant Reader.