No Charge

Good morning, Constant Reader! Hope this Tuesday morning finds you alive and well and alert and happy to get going on your day.

It rained again last night, a marvelous soaking downpour that was so loud I even could hear it without my hearing aids in. It was a nice day back at work yesterday, too–I wasn’t all that tired when I got home, which was lovely. I didn’t have to run any errands last night, so I was able to come straight home and write for a while. I managed 1400 painful words, but again–transition chapter, and I always have trouble with those, so nothing to see there, really. I felt good writing though, even if it was a struggle, and that means I am really back at it again. I’m just so grateful that I haven’t lost that ability. I think it’s realistic for me to stop fearing that will happen. It’s not likely at this point. I am writing my forty-third (I think) novel, and if the writing thing didn’t dry up after some of the things we’ve been through here ever since my first book was published, as long as my brain functions it shouldn’t be a problem. Ah, the loss of anxiety is a really lovely thing.

We watched the first episode of Fallout last night; I was reminded of it during the Emmys the other night. I’d not heard a lot about it, so we gave it a try. It’s dystopian, of course (I’ve clearly had that on the mind for a while lately), and the point is that just over two hundred years after a nuclear war essentially altered the world completely. There are people who live and have a civilization in huge underground bunkers, where an below-the-surface civilization has taken hold, and the underground dwellers are afraid of the surface and what has changed in the centuries since the war; there’s also some kind of discord between surface and below surface dwellers. The show seems to focus on three characters; a young woman who lives below ground and ventures out to find her kidnapped father; a soldier in a surface military; and the bad guy–a ghoul who is dug up from his grave by some criminals who want him to help them do bad things which aren’t specified. It was well-produced, and very well put together; the attention to details was greatly appreciated and helped make it seem fairly realistic. It reminded me a lot of The 100, only in reverse, with the survivors underground instead of in space…but there are tropes in this genre, and so there are always going to be similarities between dystopian shows/movies. I’m not sure if we’ll continue watching, but it wasn’t terrible. I try not to judge shows based on the first episode, as first episodes are often working too hard on setting up the show and the characters and their relationships to each other, and this show also has to world-build, so we’ll probably give it another go before crossing it off entirely.

Likewise, we started watching the new gay show, English Teacher, and while the first episode was fine–a little preachy, a little soap-boxish–the second episode really took off, and we were howling with laughter. Highly, highly recommend, if for no other reason than the Trixie Mattel guest spot! Looking forward to watching more of this show, for sure for sure. (And it’s so nice to see gay male lead characters on television…so a refreshing change from the past.)

I feel pretty good this morning, honestly, and it’s a very nice feeling. I am feeling more in control of things these past few months; at least it’s better than the treading water trick I’ve been doing over the last few years or so. I was also thinking about the Scotty series last night, as I am working on Book Ten (which is a truly scary thought; have I really written that many books in a series?), and wondered if it’s time to let him go? I still have ideas for more Scotty books, mind you, and I think of titles all the time (I thought up one this morning: Pearl River Peril), but going through the Scotty Bible and pulling that all together made me start thinking about potentially winding the whole thing down. It’s not the longest running series with a gay male lead by any means; I think Mark Zubro’s series have vastly more volumes in them than I have in mine, but I’m proud of the accomplishment and the haphazard, meandering way the series developed over time. Alas, that also led to continuity errors, but rather than making me cringe I just kind of laugh at my laziness. Before the new meds, this would have created a spiral of a professional wouldn’t have made those mistakes and all those people who discouraged you from pursuing writing were correct and….yeah. Don’t miss those episodes any more, and I also like being able to look at my writing and my career with the proper distance I could never have achieved on the old medication protocol.

Better living through chemistry is, indeed, a thing.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Tuesday, and I may be back later, and I may not. One can never be certain with me!

Midnight at the Oasis

…so put your camel to bed.

Work at home Friday, and I am delighted to have made it through another week, which was at the least bizarre and at most a really screwy one. Next week will be screwy, too, because of July 4th, but oh, well. I am taking the 5th off too so I can have a four-day weekend next weekend, which means more organizing and getting rid of things. I am going to do some more book pruning this weekend, and am going to dump more files, too. My end goal is to stop using the shelves in the laundry room for book storage and turn it into an overflow pantry, with extra stuff moved in there to clear out cabinets and so forth. I have some errands to run later today and more errands to run tomorrow; but I am hoping to make progress.

Paul was late getting home last night–he had meetings, and then stayed at the office during the massive thunderstorm that rolled through here last night. I didn’t get much done last night after I got home because I got very tired in the late afternoon and after getting the mail, I just basically collapsed into my easy chair and played with Sparky. Again, I couldn’t focus on reading, but I am hoping to finish Horror Movie this weekend and start Hall of Mirrors. The US Gymnastic Team Trials for the Olympics are this weekend, so we’ll be spending some time watching that, of course–I keep forgetting the Olympics are this summer–and I had another breakthrough on the new book last night, so I guess I can claim that I wrote last night–thinking and planning counts as writing, after all, and am getting a bit more excited about what I am doing with it, and the imposter syndrome seems to be taking a back seat at long last. I also have to do one more pass on that short story, which is due on Sunday.

I also need to bang out some more Pride Posts, which will finally come to an end on the 4th of July, and I have some plans and thoughts for that final post, too.

Something I just realized last night during my thinking session in my chair was that this weird nostalgia kick I’ve been on since Mom passed was naturally triggered by that (and all the conversations I’ve had with Dad about their early life together and his childhood) and of course, by the fact that I am writing two “historicals” in a row, both set in periods I lived through so I am trying to remember what it was like; how it felt to be gay in New Orleans during the early 1990s, and of course a lot of immersion into the early 1970s. I’ve already decided to set the book in 1994–the year my life actually truly began–so trying to remember what was where and what the city was like back then has also been flooding me with memories. The kids at work have also been asking questions about my life and past.

That, along with some other things I’ve been noticing lately, also has had me thinking deep thoughts. There was a social media post about becoming a daddy, and how people in my generation and the one right after…well, we didn’t really have a lot of men a lot older than me that were out in the 1990s to serve as mentors and/or guides to the community. HIV/AIDS had killed off a good number of them, leaving a void amongst the survivors without that oral history of the community being passed from generation to generation. There was a conversation about “role models” somewhere the other day, which is something I never wanted to be or ever thought I could be, and I’ve actively avoided it. Hanging out with and bonding with the Queer Crime Writers at conferences over the last few years was marvelous, and I actually started feeling like a part of the queer writing community again. That has also made me realize that while twenty years or so may have passed since my first publication–twenty-four in August, actually–I have done a lot, written a lot, and been nominated for a shit ton of awards, both queer and mainstream. (Hell, next year will be the twentieth anniversary of Katrina; which means it’s been almost as long ago as Betsy was when I started coming here) I’ve lasted a long time, if nothing else, and that longevity has to count for something, right? I don’t think I am the most prolific queer writer (I think Neil Plakcy and Mark Zubro are more prolific than I am, at least with the crime writers, anyway), but I have been around for a very long time, with minor breaks of a year or so here and there. Like it or not, I’ve become a community elder, and I intend to try to be better about helping out queer writers and lending a hand when I can.

And on that note, I am going to head into the spice mines. Have a lovely Friday, Constant Reader, and I’ll most likely be back later on.