Don’t Walk Away

Well, good morning, Thursday, how are you doing today? Yesterday wasn’t a bad one, frankly. I woke up before my alarm, feeling very well rested, and went to work. I also had a good day at the day job, which included getting some things taken care of, and I took care of another (non-work related) task over my lunch break. I did get a little tired in the late afternoon, but it wasn’t a big deal and I also had to run an errand on my way home, too. I worked on the book some, but wasn’t really feeling it a lot yesterday. I’m a perfectionist, of course, and I’d rather not write something I know is terrible, but that’s what the next draft is for, too. I need to really get out of my own way sometimes. Sigh. WE also watched the season finale of Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed, which was excellent, and set up a second season perfectly, which I didn’t see how they were going to manage, but they did. Highly recommended, of course. I slept decently last night, too, even if I did wake up a few times. I’ve not slept through the night in a while, actually; something to discuss with my doctor the next time I see him…which reminds me, I have a new doctor. Sigh. My previous doctor, whom I really liked, moved away and I am being reassigned to someone new. I hope this goes better than the last time my doctor moved and I was reassigned to a homophobic quack whose idea of being my doctor consisted of oh you’re just getting older, which led to my ulcerative colitis going undetected for years, and of course the misdiagnosis of my bicep tear, which resulted in a minor surgery becoming a major one….and the UC worked with the surgery to keep me weak, fatigued and brain fogged. I really should have sued him for malpractice; multiple medical professionals have told me that–which is frankly rare, as they tend to close ranks against outsiders, just like the police.

Sigh.

It looks like Ukraine is kicking the shit out of Russia now, and more power to them, as Moscow and St. Petersburg burn, their energy production has been crippled, and they are being driven out of Crimea, after a 12 year illegal occupation. I also appreciate that, unlike their foes, Ukraine isn’t targeting Russian civilians. How much longer can Putin hold on to power? A defeat in Ukraine and a surrender would probably do the trick–but I think he’ll hold on until his own people and/or military rise up against him. I highly recommend Vlad get the Romanovs-in-a-basement-in Ekaterinberg, but of course, your mileage might vary.

I am feeling a little spacy this morning, which is to be expected; it’s Thursday and I am slowing running out of steam like I always do on Thursdays. I have an all-day staff development tomorrow, which is mostly a training that we usually do at our own pace in free time during the work day. I hope I won’t be sleepy! I’m going to stop and make some groceries on my way home tonight; and I need to put the clean dishes away and take out some trash. Hopefully, I’ll be able to get some writing done as well. I am enjoying myself writing now again, and it’s something I wish I could dedicate even more time to; but I also like that I’ve somehow managed to wean myself out of the 3k a day binge writing I’ve done for so damned long. I want to finish Chapter 4 before planning out the next four chapters; because I am not entirely sure how it’s going to go from there.

I’m trying to not talk about politics on here anymore–if you don’t know where I fall politically by now, you really should do something about your lack of reading comprehension skills, although I imagine it’s too late for those kinds of considerations at this point. But JFC, how is this not the worst possible timeline? An exploding diarrhea pandemic? This is what happens when you vote for a narcissistic sociopath who thinks anyone is qualified for a high-level public service job as long as they lick his ass and pretend he won the 2020 election. Tonight he is going to put out some baseless claims about the 2020 Georgia elections, in particular the two senators who won–one of whom was reelected already, and the other is looking damned presidential already. Why people continue to attach themselves like remoras on a great white shark to FOTUS’ ass, but here we are.

Newsflash: he’s never cared about you, he never will care about you, and his autopsy is going to show an almost entirely smooth brain.

And here locally, our governor, Janky Jeff Landry, has decided to come for New Orleans because he and his should-be-disbarred piece of shit Attorney General filed criminal charges against her…newsflash: being Attorney General means you enforce the law equally, not target your political foes. Janky Jeff actually said this week that “New Orleans thinks it’s special” and “New Orleans isn’t the primary economic engine in the state anymore.” Would that be because of the fucking data centers that nobody fucking wants in Louisiana except for Janky Jeff and the donors who own his crusty unwashed ass? If New Orleans is so fucking unimportant now, Janky Jeff, why don’t you keep your crusty unwanted ass out of our city? No, you bring important guests to New Orleans all the time. You come to every big sporting event at the Dome–Super Bowl, Sugar Bowl, etc.–and love to eat our food and show off our city but then you’re going to shit all over it? Fuck you to the moon and back, you piece of shit. So Louisiana no longer claims the Saints? The Pelicans? Carnival? Jazz Fest? The billions in revenue New Orleans tourism brings?

By all means, Janky, take your VIPs to Shreveport or Lake Charles or Monroe. That will sure impress the hell of them. You’re doing such a great job as governor, too. How has anything he done improved life for any one single Louisianans? I’ve got time, I’ll wait, cuck boy. Take all the time you need.

Louisiana deserves better, and I will laugh my ass off if the recall petitions for him and his bitch AG succeed and they get voted out.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a great day, Constant Reader, and I hope I’ll be able to get my entry finished before the training tomorrow morning. Until then!

Sigh, Italy.

It’s So Hard For Me to Say Goodbye

That isn’t really true. At least not completely, at any rate. I have walked away from a lot of people in my life, nearly all of them toxic in one way or another (in some cases, multiple ways). It sometimes takes me much longer to get rid of toxic people than it might–I will inevitably always excuse behavior, because I always think I deserve on some level to be treated like garbage (thanks, homophobic world in which I grew up! Hugs and kisses!) and so I always take the blame whenever there’s an issue.

But I do inevitably wake up, the proverbial scales falling from my eyes, because that toxic behavior will eventually continue until I’ve been pushed too far, and then–you’re dead to me. Literally. I mean, when you’ve pushed me that far there’s really nothing to discuss, and your behavior has to be pretty heinous, repeatedly, for me to walk away. It also means you’ve probably apologized for that behavior several times before–but you don’t change that behavior, and I no longer want to deal with it.

In other words, when the aggravation you provide outweighs whatever pleasure I get from knowing you–and I’ve also reached the point where I no longer care what you think about me, or what you say about me to people we both know, it’s time for you to go. PAST time for you to go.

I slept very well last night, which was marvelous. I stayed in bed an extra hour after waking up this morning, napping on and off until the call of the coffee became simply too strong to ignore anymore. The coffee also really tastes good this morning, which is weird–it’s not like it could be stronger or anything, since I have a Keurig and every cup is theoretically the same, the only difference being the kind of roast or whatever I use–do you call different kinds of coffee flavors, even though they have flavored coffee? I actually like Starbucks brand, to be honest–their French and Italian roasts, Cafe Verona, and Sumatra, as well as Folger’s Black Silk, and some generic store brand darks aren’t bad, either. I usually alternate between them all morning so as to never get burned out on a taste I like. But for some reason–the rest? –the flavors are more noticeable this morning. I knew–or was pretty certain–I was going to sleep well because I got very tired at the office yesterday afternoon. I felt fine all day, but right around three o’clock I hit the wall and was very exhausted. I came straight home from the office, did some chores around the house, and then retired to my easy chair to watch some World War II documentaries on Youtube before switching over to Ukraine war coverage on MSNBC. The eerie similarities between this conflict and the start of World War II are, while not exact, still troubling: Russian takeover of Crimea=Nazi takeover of the Sudetenland (a brazen land grab the rest of Europe allowed to “keep peace”); the invasion of Ukraine=invasion of Poland (but it’s not going as well and as easy for Putin as it did for Hitler, obviously). The US armed and loaned money to the Allies for over two years before being drawn into the conflict; we are currently supplying and loaning money to Ukraine.

And while Putin and his “intelligence” clearly underestimated the resistance and will of the Ukrainian people, they also didn’t count on Volodymyr Zelenskyy becoming, in the face of one of the greatest crises any leader can face, the true heart and soul of his country. Talk about rising to the occasion! We all like to believe we would stand up in the face of such a crisis…but would we?

Today is my work-at-home Friday. There is data to enter, condoms to pack, and chores to be done around the house. I need to finish editing a manuscript, I need to work on a short story and perhaps edit a few more, and of course there are the general weekend errands that need to be run. It’s kind of gray outside today, and the forecast is for really horrible weather later this evening–tornados and high winds and heavy rains–so tonight is going to be the perfect night to curl up with the new Alex Segura novel. I am saving it as a reward for getting everything done this weekend that I need to get done; although I will probably crack it open to get started tonight. Yay!

And on that note, tis time for me to head into the spice mines. Y’all have a great Friday, and I will talk to you again tomorrow.