Karma Chameleon

I had some seriously strange dreams last night. The first was a nightmare involving reptile and snakes–that’s all I remember of it–but Paul had to wake me up because I was crying out in terror in my sleep. (Thanks for the rescue.) In the second, more benign but also scary dream that I remember, I was teaching a creative writing class, focusing on short stories. I suppose the subliminal message my mind is telling me is how terrified I am of writing short stories, and I have any number of them on deck that need to be written, and time is rapidly running out before they are due. Heavy heaving sigh. Maybe in the first dream the snakes and reptiles symbolized the deadlines.

Stupid short stories anyway.

We’ve finished watching season 2 of Freakish, and alas, it’s not as good as Season 1. We’ll probably watch the third season, if there is was, to see if it recovers its lost promise; but yeah, jumped the shark and went off the rails in the second season. Plus, it has The Walking Dead problem; to up the ante they have to  keep killing off characters and introducing new ones. The problem (spoiler!)is they keep killing off ones we like and keeping the unlikable, stupid ones…and adding more unlikable, stupid ones. In the first season, part of its charm was that Breakfast Club thing of kids who have nothing in common and are from completely different social circles, for the most part, having to work together and come together and bond to survive. That was lost in the second season; which is a shame as it was one of the show’s strengths; the developing relationships and bonds between the characters.

We’ve also started watching Mindhunter on Netflix, which is fucking amazing. The first episode was a trifle slow, but still interesting; episode 2 really gets the ball moving and when it was finished, I was really disappointed we didn’t have time to stay up and watch another episode. It really is terrific–and the guy who plays the Co-ed Killer should win an Emmy for Best Guest Star. He was absolutely riveting. They also have done a remarkably good job of capturing the late 1970’s; as I said to Paul last night, ‘wow, I had no idea or memory that the late 1970’s were so aesthetically ugly; colors and designs and so forth. Blech.’ Can’t wait to get home tonight and watch another.

I read another chapter of Alafair Burke’s marvelous The Wife last night, and that story is also really starting to pick up. One of the great things about Burke’s writing is her attention to little details that make the story and characters seem absolutely real and authentic.

I also–speaking of short stories and so forth–got some revising of early Scotty chapters in the new book done, and realized that a scene in Chapter Three is eerily reminiscent of one in a short story I am writing. Ah, well, I guess there’s no harm in slightly plagiarizing yourself, is there?

The weather was weird yesterday; it appears to be more of the same out there outside my windows this morning. Heavy heaving sigh. At least today I know to take a Claritin before i leave the house.

And now, back to the spice mines. Here’s a Throwback Thursday hunk for you, Constant Reader, actor/model Gordon Scott:

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Owner of a Lonely Heart

Tuesday, Tuesday. I managed to slog through another thousand words of the new Scotty yesterday, and some things I want to do with the book are starting to take shape. I also managed another five hundred words on an essay I am writing and need to finish, but it’s a tricky one–one that could easily give offense. I am going to go back to the beginning of it again this morning and see if I can start revising at the start, and maybe then I’ll be able to finish it. I feel a bit rusty–I used to be able to knock off a couple of thousand words in an hour or two, no problem, every morning, and now it’s more of a slog. I am going to blame it on a lack of practice, and that I need to simply get my writing muscles back into shape.

Yeah, that’s the ticket.

I have to say that I finished reading my advance copy of Laura Lippman’s Sunburn this weekend, and was completely blown away by it. I’ll post a review when it’s around time for the book to be released, where I will go into more detail about how incredible this book is, but reading it and the new Alison Gaylin (If I Die Tonight) was truly inspirational. Ironically, I myself have had an idea for a noir thriller lying around in my files for decades now, also called Sunburn–which, obviously, I won’t be able to use now, if I write it I’ll clearly need a new title–but they have nothing in common other than the title and the sensibility. I love noir so much, and I really want to write more of it. I also started reading my advance copy of Alafair Burke’s The Wife Sunday night, and got more into it last night, and it, too, is quite extraordinary.

Reading such amazing work by friends is inspirational, but also a bit humbling. But I also kind of love reading books that make me think, boy, I have to work harder and do better. 

And on that note, I should get back to the spice mines and get to work.

Here’s a Tuesday hunk for you:

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Jump

Sunday morning and the end of Daylight Savings Time. I woke up at the usual time, reset the clock to the correct time, and stayed in bed for another hour…but still got up early. It’s fine, I don’t mind, and I am actually awake rather than groggy. I need to get groceries–a minor run for some staples and a few things I need for dinner tonight–and I also need to get to the gym today. (I did not, in fact, go yesterday as planned.) I also managed to destroy my ancient iPod Nano. I took it out of my car (where it’s my music source) and put it in my jeans pocket Friday so I could take it with me to the gym, forgot about it, and yes, put it through both washer and dryer. Sigh. Now the screen is dead–the memory in it still works, if I connect it to my computer–but the controls don’t work, and they don’t make Nanos anymore, which totally sucks. I had that damned thing for almost seven years…so I guess I’ll have to use my iPod Touch, which is nine years old, for the gym instead until I can swing getting a new one, I suppose. So annoying. Then again, if it costs less than a new iPod Touch, it might be worth seeing if it can be fixed.

I suppose I could just use my phone, I suppose, but I hate how the music cuts off if you get an email or a text or something. It’s jarring.

First world problems, I know.

I am reading an advance copy of Laura Lippman’s Sunburn, and it’s really quite exceptional. It’s very different than anything she’s done before, and I have to say, it’s quite the ballsy move. It’s very easy to just write the same style and the same type of book over and over again, but Lippman has really stretched herself and grown in her stand alone novels; this, coming after the sublime Wilde Lake, is yet another gamble that is paying off big time. And as I said yesterday, reading amazing work by amazing writers is inspirational; I actually sat down at the computer yesterday and made myself write two thousand words; and they were good words. They took me longer to write than usual–my attention span is so shortened because of social media and everything else these days; I need to remember that the best thing for me to do when I get stuck is to get up and do something away from the computer; even if it is something as simple as rearranging a cabinet shelf; putting things in order and organizing, for some reason, always works as a writing trigger for me. But it’s more than I’ve written in a long time, and I am kind of excited about it, to be honest. I still have an essay to write, and there’s a short story I need to write, but I want to get some more of this Scotty done before I sidetrack myself again.

And on that note, ’tis back to the spice mines. Here’s a Sunday hunk for you, Constant Reader:

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Against All Odds (Take a Look at Me Now)

Saturday morning! I finished reading my advance copy of Alison Gaylin’s If I Die Tonight last evening, and was completely blown away by it–so much so that I tried to start reading something else and just had to put it aside for a while. I read my next book for a bit in bed before going to sleep–it’s an advance copy of Laura Lippman’s Sunburn, and it, too, is quite extraordinary–and this morning am still processing both. I’ll no doubt finish Sunburn this weekend as well–I am already itching to get back to it, although I have other things I simply must do this morning–but the kitchen is already cleaned up. I need to do the floors and put some finishing touches on things down here, and I might clean the windows. I have an essay to finish writing and I want to work on the Scotty book some; possibly some other things as well. It would be incredibly easy to sit in my easy chair and waste the day watching college football…but I’m not going to. Tonight is the LSU-Alabama game…sigh. Obviously, I want LSU to win, but it’s such a long shot, and Alabama just looks unstoppable this year. Sigh.

While work on the new Scotty has been incredibly slow going, part of that is attributable to the post-Bouchercon malaise, methinks. I feel very confident that I’m going to be able to get back to work on it today and make significant progress. I know what the underlying theme of the book is, and now it’s simply a question of being able to work the personal story and the crime story together and make it work. Rereading these old Scotty has helped; putting together the Scotty concordance/Bible is also going to help in ways I can’t even imagine right now.

Reading brilliantly written books also helps a lot. I can’t recommend reading great writers enough as a learning experience for writers. I always say that the best writers inspire me when I read their work; I think part of the reason I’m so fired up this morning to get to work is because I read a brilliant novel last night and started reading another one before bed…and have even more on deck that I know are going to be equally brilliant. This excites me to NO end, Constant Reader.

I also want to revise that old y/a manuscript and get it going. I know now, having both reread and outlined it, what was wrong with it and why it didn’t work. I am very excited about this, as well.

It’s been a while since I’ve been excited about writing, and it feels terrific.

And now, I should get  back to the spice mines. Here’s a Saturday hunk for you, Constant Reader.

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Footloose

Friday! Huzzah!

I am very pleased to say that I think the malaise has passed. Yesterday I shook myself up a little bit and got organized. I’ve really been letting a lot of things slide–I’ve been blaming the post-Bouchercon blues, but truly, the malaise had set in well before that. I’m not sure what causes it; but it’s horrible when it strikes and I find myself getting depressed rather easily when it strikes…trying to work and/or get things done, but allowing myself to be easily overwhelmed, or if the work isn’t going well, letting the why do I bother mentality kick in.

But I’m back in my “I can conquer the world” mode again, and intend to ride that train as long as I can.

Before bed last night, after watching Riverdale and American Horror Story, I did two loads of laundry, the dishes, a shit-ton of filing, cleaned my kitchen counters, and started organizing the copies of my books I got from storage. (I still haven’t located the copies of Mardi Gras Mambo I’ve been looking for, which means I am going to have to go back again; but I am going to let that sit for a few weeks. There’s no urgency to find them, after all.)

I also, while cleaning and organizing, had some breakthroughs on projects I am working on; which is one of the reasons cleaning and organizing is such an important part of my process–when I am busy doing something that doesn’t require my full attention, my mind wanders and it always goes to places with book projects that need fixing. And am absolutely delighted this has happened. I made some decent progress on the Scotty book yesterday, and will be making some crucial notes on another project this morning, now that I’ve gotten a good night’s sleep.

And on that note, it is back to the spice mines with me.

Here’s a hunk for you, Rafael Nadal for Armani:

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Say Say Say

I’ve started reading Alison Gaylin’s If I Die Tonight this week; I have an advance copy and OH MY GOD IT IS SO GOOD. I also have advance copies of some other new books by some amazing women writers that I can’t wait to start reading as well. Huzzah!

This week has felt a bit off; which probably has to do with Halloween being on a Tuesday. Yesterday felt more like a Monday than a Wednesday, and today feels sort of Tuesday-ish. I’ve been off my game since Bouchercon, frankly, and am hoping to use this weekend to right the ship and get everything going again. I have managed to get most of my to-do list (the short one, not the over-all one) finished this week already, but I haven’t done much editing or writing or revising. That must change. I also intend to get to the gym again this weekend, but this time I mean it. I overdid it making groceries last weekend, so I don’t have to do that this weekend–and really, running the errands is what always ends any attempt at getting to the gym for me.

I am also very aware that’s an excuse, thank you very much, and I don’t need any reminding.

But the gym–and my writing–have been put off for far too long. I’m starting to come out of the malaise I’ve been in for quite some time, as well. I was looking at Chapter Two of the new Scotty yesterday and while yes, it needs revision and rewriting, how to do it actually started coming into my mind. Those muscles are there, just rusty…like my actual muscles. Cardio, better eating habits, and some weight lifting are the ticket. And I’m sleeping better as well.

Stop making excuses, Gregalicious!

And on that note, tis back to the spice mines with me. Here’s a Throwback Thursday hunk for you:

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When Doves Cry

We finished watching Stranger Things last night, and were sorry to see it end; it was quite a lot of fun, and Episode 8 was a non-stop adrenaline rush from beginning to end. The last thirty minutes of the season was absolutely charming; those kids are just so damned appealing, and Winona Ryder was much better in this season than she was in the first. I also got much further along in Hell House; I should finish it today to end my official month of Halloween Horror reading. Some great crime novels have stacked up while I devoted myself to horror this month; can’t wait to start digging into crime again.

I finished outlining Jackson Square Jazz last night, and am going to start work on the Scotty concordance/Bible this week while I also work on Crescent City Charade. I’m still not completely sold on that title, let me say that right now; it’s very likely going to change before I turn it into the publisher. It’s been fun rereading (or rather, skimming) Jackson Square Jazz preparatory for doing the outline; I feel much more connected to Scotty than I was. The amazing thing to me is how many continuity mistakes I’ve made over the years. The lovely thing is that I can now go back to the original books and fix the errors–there’s nothing i can do about them in the later books. In fairness to myself, I don’t really remember much of anything I wrote pre-Katrina, but I could have–should have–gone back and reread the originals, and the Bible/concordance is way overdue.

It’s also amazing how much I did forget. The plot of Jackson Square Jazz was almost a complete mystery to me, and it was a much better book and story than I remembered it being. Ah, memory is such a strange thing, isn’t it?

I really do need to be better organized. The kitchen is a mess this morning, and I need to make another to-do list. I’ve got some laundry going and I need to do the dishes and make chili for the crockpot to cook all day. And on that note, it’s back to the spice mines.

Here’s a Halloween hunk for you:

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Breaking Us in Two

Sunday. It’s one degree warmer than yesterday morning–wow, right? But you will undoubtedly be thrilled to know that I get everything on my list done yesterday other than go to the gym; and after spending two hours in the storage unit moving boxes of books around, I was pretty damned exhausted physically, and then braved Costco on a Saturday afternoon (it wasn’t bad at all, other than stupid people, which is every day). I also came across some books in the storage that I thought hey, these need to be reread and so I took them out. One of them was Richard Matheson’s Hell House, which seemed, at least to me, to be the proper reread after The Haunting of Hill House, in that they’re very similar; one could even go so far as to say Matheson basically took Jackson’s story structure and turned the dial up a notch. I am enjoying the reread very much; although I’m not very far into it thus far. I also found my copy of Michael Rowe’s groundbreaking anthology Queer Fear, which I reviewed in the Lambda Book Report many years ago when I worked there, and was to be my first encounter with Mr. Rowe; I remember he came up to me at the Lambda Awards the next year, introduced himself, and thanked me for the lovely review. We’ve crossed paths a few times since, and have become friends over the years. I do remember loving Queer Fear, and look forward to delving into it and rereading its short stories again.

I also found my high school scrapbook and my diaries from the 1990’s. I used to buy blank books and carry them around with me everywhere, so I could jot down story and/or book ideas, or write diary entries whenever I wanted to. I am always hesitant to reread my old diaries; I often wince from my immaturity and my over-dramatization of events in my life. Yet at the same time, the diaries also served as a very vital source of self-reflection and self-examination; I suppose this blog has served that purpose since I started it on Livejournal back in 2004 (the idea that I have been consistently blogging for thirteen years rather staggers the mind, doesn’t it? But I’ve been writing in a diary of some sort, off and on, since I was a teenager; this seems to be a natural continuation of that process).

I also found the three ring binder where I kept everything from the Virginia situation of 2005 and 2006; including the ACLU letter to the school board. I’d always intended to write a non-fiction book about it all, called Gay Porn Writer, in which I examined what happened to me in the context, not only of the times but extrapolating it out further into what was going on in publishing and the culture. My memory lies to me now, of course, so I am not certain that I’ll ever write such a book–I don’t know that I would remember things correctly, and even then, what is colored by my perceptions of things. I’ve since moved on, of course–I mentioned the incident in passing on my panel at Bouchercon and had to explain it a little, which was kind of crazy. It was so long ago, and I used to get invited to speak about it all the time. The memories are now hazy and unclear, but I am definitely going to keep all this information.

You never know.

I think I am probably just going to scan everything in the scrapbook, in order to preserve it electronically, and then throw it away. I don’t really need to keep programs from my high school football games, or from choir concerts, and scanning them will better preserve them anyway.

I have one errand to run today, and I also want to go to the gym for a little bit, start dipping my feet back into the water of working out regularly, and despite the cold, I am going to give that a try.

And hopefully, I’ll get some writing done, or at least something done that will move all projects forward.

Here’s a Sunday hunk for you:

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Tonight, I Celebrate My Love

Thursday. The weekend is nigh, and Paul and I are considering going to see It at long last, as there is no LSU game on Saturday. I also am going to Costco, and want to make it to the gym to do some detestable cardio. But I will also do some stretching, so there’s that. I really need to start getting into a regular habit of going again. I always feels so much better after I work out…you’d think that would be enough motivation to go, you know?

But you would be wrong.

I also am looking forward to getting back into my reread of The Haunting of Hill House, which blows me away on every reread. October is almost over, and so my concentration on just reading horror will come to an end with October 31st; I will go on to End of Watch by Stephen King when I finish this reread, and then I’m going to dig into all the ARCs and advance copies I got at Bouchercon, which is terribly exciting. Laura Lippman, Alison Gaylin, Ivy Pochoda, and Adam Sternburgh! My new Donna Andrews, The Finch Who Stole Christmas, also arrived yesterday, which is terribly exciting. I have a lot of great reading in store.

I worked on revising the new Scotty a bit yesterday, and was terribly pleased to discover that what I’d already written wasn’t, in fact, a steaming pile of crap like I thought it was. Distance does, in fact, help. So I am going to try to get those initial chapters all revised by Sunday before putting it aside again and diving back into the WIP, for it’s last tweaks. I’m feeling a lot better about all of this, to be honest…not sure where this burst of out of nowhere self-confidence has come from, but there you are.

And on that note, ’tis back to the spice mines.

For Throwback Thursday, here’s one of my sluttier Halloween costumes, Gay Beach Volleyball Player.

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It Might Be You

It seems as though fall has finally come to New Orleans; I’m almost afraid to type that for fear of jinxing it and bringing the heat and humidity back. Yesterday was simply beautiful; it is so gorgeous here when the weather finally turns and we get our allotted weeks of autumn. I’ve been in the doldrums (had the doldrums? I don’t know) a bit this week; a malaise has set in, and I suspect it might be the post-Bouchercon malaise, which hits every year, the inevitable crash after the high joy of being amongst my friends for a long weekend, talking about books and joking and making wonderful new memories.

As I continue outlining Jackson Square Jazz, I am amazed at how intricately the story is plotted; how the personal story Scotty is experiencing is woven into the case he has stumbled into. I honestly don’t remember writing the book much; I didn’t really remember much of it, either–I’ve not had a copy in my hands to reread it. I am, from doing this, getting a strong sense of Scotty and who he is; and I did spend some time yesterday revising the first chapter of the current Scotty. It’s making more sense as I revise it; and I think I am also getting a sense of where this story is going to go. I feel the thing that’s been possibly missing from the last Scotty books has been the personal story; I’d have to go back and reread them to see if I am correct. But it has been lovely rereading this story, as it were; I always think of my earlier books as being perhaps not as mature as the later ones..but I am finding that I am not correct in that assumption. I am very fond of Jackson Square Jazz, and I’d forgotten a very key element to the story; the Cabildo fire, and how seeing a documentary on the local PBS station (WYES) about the fire inspired me to write the book several years later. I am very excited to finally be getting this book together and out there as an ebook; I hope to have both it and Bourbon Street Blues up for sale by the end of the year. The cover for Bourbon Street Blues is almost finalized, and I love it, can’t wait to share it with everyone.

I think the doldrums, the discontent or malcontent or whatever it may be, also is sort of stemming from knowing that I need to push myself harder as far as my career goes. I’ve found myself in a nice place without much effort and maybe it’s time to put some more effort back into the career, you know? The world is so different now; I haven’t done a book signing in a store since Murder by the Book several years ago, with Rebecca Chance sharing the stage with me. I think this current Scotty book is going to be terrific, quite frankly with all modesty pushed to the side; with the caveat, of course, that it will be terrific if I pull the story off. And if I do, it will be quite fun and quite funny.

I also outlined another manuscript that’s been sitting in a drawer for a long time; a y/a novella that’s slightly less than forty thousand words. It’s been sitting in the drawer because I didn’t like the ending and it needed to be about twenty thousand words longer, and for the life of me I couldn’t figure out how to make it longer or how to fix the ending. As I was outlining it this evening, it dawned on me precisely how I could do both those things; it requires an extensive revision, but it’s one that I can do relatively easily. I even figured out the new opening–and naturally, made notes. It’s called Spellcaster, and I don’t know if that title actually will work for it, but it’s a good working title, and perhaps something better will come to me when I revise it.

Christ, how many projects can I have going in my head at the same time? Maybe that’s why I am having the doldrums, and finding it hard to focus?

Ya think?

Oddly enough, after showering I feel much better, and I am going to get my act together.

ONWARD!

And here’s a Hump Day Hunk for you, Constant Reader.

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