The Planet Earth Rock and Roll Orchestra

Work at home Friday, and all is peaceful in the Lost Apartment this morning. Huzzah? I think this is a definite huzzah. I have a department meeting later this morning (online) and a lot of quality assurance to get done before I get to dive back into the book as we enter into the home stretch. Isn’t it exciting? I need to be finished by close of business EST Monday, and I worry that I may need every minute of that time. But there’s nothing else to do but get to work on it, is there? I think we’re also going to run to Costco after I am done working, too. It’s going to be quite the busy day for me.

The independent autopsy of Trey Reed, the young Delta State student found hanging not so long ago, concluded the cause of death was actually blunt force trauma, not hanging, which makes it murder, not suicide. Anyone surprised the cops and legal system in Mississippi covered up the murder of a Black college student? I certainly wasn’t, and anyone who believed those initial findings–the cops determined it was a suicide immediately, and didn’t bother looking for anything else–is a fucking racist and moron. When it comes to anyone who isn’t white or straight in the South, authority simply can’t be bothered. It may NOT be racism; it could just be sheer laziness and incompetence, but forget it, Jake–it’s Mississippi.

And thank you, Colin Kaerpernick, for your foundation’s work and paying for the independent autopsy so his family can try to seek what passes for justice in that wretched state. (There’s an entire essay to be written about Kaerpernick and the NFL’s selective and unbalanced and unfair approach to protest and political speech, but I am also sure any number of Black writers have done so already, and also have done exceptional work on the topic making anything I could write or say overly simplistic and from too privileged a perspective to do much good for anyone.)

Yesterday was a good day for the most part but I was terribly exhausted when I got home, and wasn’t really able to do much of anything once I was here. I’d already done most of the chores on Wednesday night so there wasn’t much to do last night, and over the weekend I can do the odds and ends that are left to be done. I caught up on the news–the Theo Von break with MAGA was an interesting turn (the rise of reality show performers into the political arena is also something that needs to be written about, if for no other reason than to warn future voters about the dangers of celebrity politicians, no matter how minor the celebrity may have been). Theo is from the North Shore of Louisiana, and he used to work out at my sorely missed gym around the corner (nice body, aging into redneck face). I watched one of his stand-up specials a while back, out of curiosity; I turned it off ten minutes in because I hadn’t even cracked a smile once. Next thing I knew, he’s a podcaster with incredible reach that he used for evil and to help destroy the country. He’s waking up to the knowledge he was played for a sucker…but I also don’t feel terribly sorry for him, either. What am I supposed to think? “Sorry you’re not nearly as smart as you thought you were”? And…the north shore of Lake Pontchartrain is populated pretty heavily with white racists who fled the integration of the public school system in New Orleans.

And don’t even get me started on Sean fucking Duffy.

But I slept pretty well last night and feel very rested this morning. My legs feel a bit tired, but that’s nothing I can’t deal with and I am going to be seated most of the day…although sometimes they tighten up if I sit for a long time. After Paul got home, we watched this week’s The Morning Show and Peacemaker–which I am really enjoying this season, and will definitely be writing about the show once this season concludes–before retiring to bed for the evening pretty early.

Sigh, it’s going to be glorious not really having to get up to an alarm for a week….because my vacation also begins when I finish day job work today. Huzzah!

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Friday, Constant Reader, and I’ll check back in which you tomorrow, okay?

Take Me Back

Saturday morning and I feel rather well rested this morning. I wound up, of all things, sleeping on my left arm weirdly (on my stomach with arm across my chest) and this morning, it doesn’t feel either sore or tight. I knew it needed to be stretched, but this is very good news, meaning I can go back to the gym again tomorrow. I was very tired all day yesterday, too. I got my remote work done, ran some errands, and came home to write for a bit, but my brain was too cloudy for me to get anything done, really. I eventually gave up and sat down in my chair with Sparky to watch the LSU Gymnastics meet (they scored 198.00, which is a GREAT team score and something they didn’t do last year until towards the end of the season), and then we got caught up on Abbott Elementary before catching up on the news (always a mistake these days) and going to bed. I managed to get my chores done, and still haven’t made that to-do list yet–but hope springs eternal and hopefully I’ll get that done today, too. We shall see, but right now I feel pretty good. I hope it lasts.

Man, the kitchen is a mess this morning…well, the entire downstairs at any rate. But I will get that done as I write today. I do have to run a couple of errands today, so that will probably slow my progress down today, like it always does, but at least there’s nothing on television for me to get sucked into today, like tennis or gymnastics or figure skating or anything of that nature. So I have no excuse to not get things done today, right? That’s what I think, too. But it’s easy to get distracted and it’s even easier to get lazy and distracted. SO the key today is to not read the news or let our slide into fascism, aided and abetted by a legacy media that is not up to their jobs–or onboard with it all, like Fox, Newsmax, and OANN–not to mention a wimpy Democratic party that has essentially betrayed its donors and its voters and are now on-board with appeasement and sycophancy–so we’re basically on our own. The Democrats have been essentially spineless (with a few exceptions) my entire adult life, and now the party leadership can’t read the room and refuses to move aside for the bright young crop of future leaders; I’d rather fail fighting than fail rolling over playing dead. I have seen this, over and over, my entire life and yes, they have failed the country. Most of my ire is directed at the Far Reich, of course, but that doesn’t mean I have to accept the ineffectual leadership of the party anymore–and I sure as FUCK aren’t giving them another cent of my money. At this point, it’s simply throwing more good money down the drain for nothing. I’ve been waiting for results since I was twenty and have been disappointed repeatedly. If living as a gay American has taught me anything, it’s that being polite and being nice while working for change doesn’t work. It takes action, protests, and people willing to put their bodies on the line for it. ACT UP didn’t place nice, and they got results, didn’t they?

We need more Ted Kennedys and AOCs, not more Amy Klobuchars or John Fettermans (neither of whom will ever be president). Instead of fighting with policy, they are always playing defense, and badly at that. I honestly think their approach to opposition now is to cave on everything and let everyone suffer, while hoping things will get so bad we’ll win the midterms and 2028, in a repeat of 2006 and 2008. That isn’t leadership, for the record–although I am past the point of letting it all burn to the ground quickly so we can rebuild our new country out of the ashes of the old. Enough of this slow strangulation of freedom already.

And if anyone thinks I will ever mention Sean Duffy without making a reference to The Real World-Boston or Real World/Road Rules Challenges, they are very much mistaken.1

But somehow, I’ve managed to make it to sixty-three, which I never thought would happen. That should count for something, right? I’m kind of like Cher, I think–somehow I manage to keep going on. That’s the thing I suppose I cling to, my cockroach-like survival techniques. I never think bad things can’t happen to me–they certainly do enough times, and one thing I have learned over the course of hurricanes and hate crimes and death threats is that you can’t imagine bad things happening until they do, and so far I’ve managed to keep my few shreds of sanity intact, and knowing that I have somehow managed to get through it all somehow. I guess I’m a survivor? I certainly do have survivor’s guilt, for sure. I can never reconcile the randomness of my survival, either. I don’t think I did because I have some important role to play in the world, either–it’s literally one of those random things that happen people always try to find meaning in, when the truth is our lives, for the most part, are meaningless, but our egos are too fragile for any of us to consider we’re unimportant in the overall scheme of human and world history. I have no expectations of being remembered for long after I die, either. People will think it’s sad and then move on and forget me.

And I’m okay with that. My ego doesn’t require me to “live forever,” although I guess the books will, maybe.

And on that cheery note, I will head into the spice mines. I am going to read for a bit after I clean up in here, after which I will write, run my errands, and come home to read or write some more. Have a lovely day, Constant Reader, and I’ll be back tomorrow or even later today; it depends, does it not?

  1. And for the record, I don’t think I’ll be flying anywhere for a long time. ↩︎