Hurting Each Other

Friday morning after Muses, and I am a little tired–physically. Mentally I am alert as ever and feel great, but I am not used to standing on the sidewalk for so long anymore. Chaos last night was my first parade (the floats were hilariously inappropriate; all I will say is the theme of the parade was “balls” and leave it at that), and we came home to rest before Muses arrived. We didn’t stay out for long, I was tired and sleepy and it got here around ten; we lasted out there for about an hour before I started flagging and came back inside. However, I realized I should have gone to parades to warm up for this weekend; I forgot that it takes a parade day to warm you up and get you in the proper spirit; I should be good to go tonight if my PT this morning isn’t too vicious.

And yes, we got a really cool shoe.

I had a good day at work yesterday, got a lot of things done and caught up and feel confident not being in the office again until Ash Wednesday will not be disastrous for me or put me really behind on things. I came home early (it took me an hour), and I came inside and watched this week’s episode of Capote v. the Swans, which was done in documentary style, which was an interesting take. I’m not quite as obsessed as I was about Capote when I first started watching, but I do want to read the Gerald Clarke bio of him, and maybe even George Plimpton’s Capote. It’s taken me awhile to get interested in Capote, and while I wouldn’t say it’s an obsession anymore, I am still very much interested in this incredibly famous openly gay man in the middle of the twentieth century. I have added Deliberate Cruelty, a true crime narrative about Ann Woodward’s feud with him by Roseanne Mantillo, to the books I am reading and I finished it last night.

And yes, I am beginning to understand precisely why he wrote “La Côte Basque 1965” and why he published it, but more on that when the show is finished and I give it, and Capote, an entry of their own.

As for me and the weekend, I have taken Monday off and so I am hoping that I’ll be able to get some reading and writing done today, Sunday and Monday (I will always take Saturday off from everything to go to Iris). I want to finish editing this one short story and finish writing another, and perhaps get them submitted somewhere. I have laundry going already and a dishwasher to unload and reload. I have PT this morning, a prescription and the mail to pick up, and then the car won’t move again until Monday at the earliest, as I will need to probably make a grocery run. I also should be able to finish reading Deliberate Cruelty so I can focus on Lina Chern’s Playing the Fool, which I am greatly enjoying. I also have some blistering blog entries to write, so this weekend should be fun on that score.

And hopefully I’ll be able to get this place ship-shape and get myself caught up on everything that needs catching up on.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have yourself a lovely Friday, Constant Reader, and I may be back later.

Even the Nights Are Better

Constant Reader, I didn’t write a damned thing last night.

It rained pretty much all day, and the city was in a flash flood warning for most of it (again today as well), and I managed to make it through the work day fine. I got off work early because of PT, left and got the mail on the way to PT, and then made groceries after PT. PT amped up yesterday and was not easy the way it had been; there was even an exercise at the very end I simply could not do. As I also despise failing at something, that was a needed exercise in humility. At the same time, it was also the first time I’ve tried any exercise since the surgery that I wasn’t able to do–and the surgery was two months ago this week. So, rather than being hard on myself about it, I chose to accept it as a milestone and something I need to overcome rather than a failure. (See how the meds are working for me now? In October that would have sent me into a funk of depression and “I’m such a loser” thinking, so I am not sure if I just have a better mental attitude, if its the meds working, or a combination of two. Regardless, I am counting it as a win.) So, I got home from work, did a few things around here, and eventually fell asleep in my easy chair, which is where I was when Paul got home. He woke me up and I went to bed and slept beautifully all night–partly because of the rain–and so here we are, with me feeling rested, it’s gray and gloomy and rainy outside, and I am working at home so I do not have to leave the house unless I want to. Huzzah!

I have to say I’ve really not been tired or groggy all week–I haven’t been that way in the morning in a very long time, but I do start falling asleep around nine-ish every night. I guess my body has not only adjusted to the lovely new meds but also to my work schedule. There’s really no chance I’ll stay up later than I should on a weeknight now because I am conking out once the clock strikes nine. I hope to get a lot of things done today around the house and around work-at-home duties; I feel really good and energized this morning. Sam the handyman came in and painted the kitchen ceiling yesterday (it looks so nice this morning!) but left the giant ladder in the kitchen so he could come in and do some touching up, and needless to say, the massive ladder is a delightful playground for Sparky–who not only loves to climb but also has figured out how to climb down, too. I told you he’s a very smart boy…and so big! Not full grown yet, either. I think he is going to be bigger than Skittle, who was also a very big boy.

Yikes!

I’m hoping to get a lot done this weekend, frankly, but I am also not going to worry about holding my feet to the fire should I not. I do want to finish this story I’ve been working on this week, and I do want to do some more writing along the way. I also want to spend some quality time reading Lina Chern’s Playing the Fool and maybe finishing off some of these other posts I’ve been playing with for quite some time. I would like to finish my analysis of Saltburn (which I can also rewatch again, which is marvelously possible thanks to streaming services), as well as my analysis of the latest volume in Heartstopper, and why it made me a bit uncomfortable, just as the show’s second season was questionable in some ways. I still like and appreciate it very much, but at the same time, nothing is above criticism and critique, especially when it’s approached in a positive way. Because the bottom line is I do think Heartstopper, both book and show, are vitally important works; there’s just a couple of things I find questionable, which is also a broader question for the community as a whole, too.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Friday wherever you are, Constant Reader, and stay safe and dry, New Orleans!

Rosanna

As a general rule, it’s safe to say I shouldn’t speak publicly at any time of any day before noon. That said, I had to moderate a panel about satisfying endings yesterday morning at ten a.m. my time, and Constant Reader, I didn’t stress out before hand like I usually do; the anxiety making the experience unpleasant and the lead-up to it really awful, with upset stomach, sweating, racing heart and nervous energy. However, I was calm this morning and went into the panel with a relatively stress-free mentality, with no physical reaction and no anxiety, and you know what? It was kind of marvelous. (It does help to have marvelous panelists, which I did have.) I had also slept well the night before, which helped, and I managed to get up and eat and have plenty of coffee and got some things finished around here before I had to sign into my first ZOOM session (there were two others later on, but I was merely a panelist and therefore no pressure even if I wasn’t properly medicated now). It was cold, of course, for New Orleans–I could feel that chill right through the floor and through the windows of my workspace–but nothing unbearable for sure.

I was exhausted yesterday once I was finished with the Book-a-thon; I sat in my chair and streamed Brideshead Revisited–which really didn’t need to be a mini-series, I am thinking, because it eventually gets a bit tired and boring–but I certainly can see why Saltburn reminded people of it. I’ll probably watch some more episodes this morning before Paul gets up, but the homoeroticism is definitely there, and I also see the similarities between Sebastian and Felix, although Charles and Ollie are very little alike. I did keep falling asleep in my chair, and finally went to bed, feeling tired and exhausted, around eight (!). But I feel very rested and good this morning–I did feel a little wrung out to start the day yesterday–and so this chilly morning in New Orleans I am up early and trying to get things done around here.

I did enjoy the Book-a-thon, but I am unused to doing things like that on Saturdays and I also had to get up early so I could be lucid for the panel I had to moderate. I met some awesome new-to-me authors whose books I am now looking forward to checking out–I actually bought some of them during the panels by using my phone, which the camera couldn’t pick up–and I also think I may spend some time reading this morning as well. I think my next book is going to be Lina Chern’s Playing the Fool. Lina was one of my panelists for that humor panel at Bouchercon I had to fill in on at the last minute (seriously, one of the best panels I’ve ever been on), and she has recently been nominated for the Mary Higgins Clark Award and a Lefty! I’ve been wanting to read everyone on that panel’s books ever since that panel, and I’ve already gotten to J. D. O’Brien’s marvelous Zig Zag.

I also want to do some writing today, and to answer some emails to send tomorrow (I try not to ever send emails on the weekend; emails beget emails, and I don’t like spending my time on the weekends answering emails and then answering replies and it becomes an endless Sisyphean task). There’s also filing to do (always) and I still need to do some more clean-up around here as well. But I think most of the big chores (laundry, dishes) are done other than the floors, and I really need to stop being so reluctant to do the floors. I actually used to like doing the floors–it really makes a difference as to how clean the apartment looks; likewise, clean windows also make the house look cleaner–but for some reason I don’t really enjoy it the way I used to. I really need to move furniture in order to do it right, and I’ve not really been able to move furniture since injuring my arm last January.

And maybe moving furniture will help me find my sleeping pills.

Sigh.

Okay, I think I am going to rustle up some breakfast and head into the spice mines this morning. Have a lovely Sunday wherever you are, Constant Reader, and I may be back later.