Tag: filing

Porpoise Song

In order to honor the Olympics1, I’ve decided that my “hot man” daily image will be Olympic athletes, mostly present day but also including gorgeous men from past Olympics as well, through the course of these Games. I always loved the Olympics, even as a kid who wasn’t all that interested in team sports–I was always interested in individual sports (probably the introversion caused by the anxiety and ADD) more and the Olympics are nothing if not about the individual sport more so than the team efforts–and naturally, I gravitated to the ones where the athletes either wore very little, or something incredibly skintight. We did get to watch some of the Olympics yesterday, with the swimming relays and so forth, which was terrific and fun.2

It rained most of the day yesterday and as such I didn’t run my errands yesterday. (I’m going to Fresh Market this morning to get some things and will hit the grocery store again on the way home from work on Monday.) I didn’t write yesterday, either. The rain made me lazy, as it always does, but at least I got some of the chores done. We also finished watching the first season of Those About to Die, which was fun if not fully engaging, and certainly entertaining enough on its own. The final season of Elité also dropped, and there are several other things out now that I want to watch (Lady in the Lake being one) but this morning I need to get things picked up around the office space, finish some chores that got started, and then I’ll probably settle in for some Olympic enjoyment. Yay! I do love the Olympics. The first ones I remember are 1972, in Munich–Olga Korbut and Mark Spitz and the murders of the Israeli athletes. (They actually allowed us to watch the coverage of the hostage situation at my junior high because “it’s history.”) Paul and I were laughing about the Christian Nationalist response to them last night, and trying to remember opening ceremonies of the past. Athens and Beijing were the two that stood out the most to me (ironically, Fox News didn’t turn Athens’ celebration of Greece’s pagan past into a boycott, go figure, and the fact they were outraged this year because they were too stupid to understand what they were seeing is all anyone really needs to know about them: they get mad about things they don’t understand–and the French are now laughing at their ignorance). I do need to write today, and after I get this done and the kitchen organized, I am going to settle in to doing just that very thing.

I feel much more awake and alive this morning than I did yesterday, which is a lovely thing. It’s also very bright and sunny outside this morning, as opposed to yesterday’s gloom. I don’t really have to get much at the store today, just something for tonight’s dinner and a few other things, too, so going to the store shouldn’t be a tiring thing for me today. I am also going to make a to-do list this morning, and hopefully, that will keep me on track this week, and getting things done and accomplished. I want to get back into the old routine where I was a determined writer who got a lot done every week. I do have a ridiculous amount of down time now, and it’s taking some getting used to–I still feel guilty when choosing a down day or an evening off, but the book is really the only thing I’m getting behind on, which is also fine, you know? My emails never take long to get caught up on, and it’s so nice to not be buried in emails every fucking hour on the hour. I’ve been on social media a little too much lately–it’s hard to believe that it was only last Sunday afternoon that President Biden dropped out of the race. It seems like it’s been weeks, so much has rapidly changed over the course of this past week, that’s it hard to believe it’s been a mere seven days. It’s also lovely not seeing anything on social media from the pro-fascist mainstream media anymore. I do not miss the New York Times, Washington Post, CNN, or MSNBC3, and will continue to live without them until I am in the grave.

My coffee is hitting perfectly this morning too, and I am so hungry! I didn’t eat a lot yesterday, like a fool, and so of course this morning I am starving. I didn’t really have much to make for dinner, so I had a turkey sandwich and Paul got a frozen pizza for us for dinner, but obviously, that wasn’t filling–as I am finding out this morning.

I spent a lot of time yesterday cleaning up files (partly because my brain was too fogged yesterday so I knew I wouldn’t write) and oh my God, the essay file. SO many essays, so many drafts of them, so many with different names, so many different essays that are thematically the same as so many others. I had to file some new essay drafts yesterday, and that led me to realize how hard those folders were to navigate because of the lack of organization. It’s better now, but still needs some more work–and I also realized yesterday that I can post my old essays on writing and other things on Substack to keep the content going on a weekly basis so I don’t ever have to really worry about coming up with content; there are so fucking many, really. I wrote so many articles and columns, and they are just sitting in my files. There are also so many that I started and never finished, too. I doubt that the fitness ones would ever come in handy for anyone or anything, but the ones about self-esteem and work ethic and mind/body/spirit could work still. I could also rewrite them, because I am sure now I would read them over and cringe.

And maybe take some boxes down from on top of the cabinets. I think one is just filled with other packaging debris, and I kept it in case I wanted to send the vaccum (which I’ve hardly used) back.

And on that note, I need to get something to eat before I shrivel up. Have a great Sunday, and I may be back later. If not, till the morrow, Constant Reader.

Nathan Adrian, past Olympian in swimming
  1. Plus, this title is another shot at trashbag Just Douchey Vance, which will never get old. ↩︎
  2. I would also like to point out that the Olympics are supposed to rise above everything else to celebrate sport and athleticism. I was a little bummed to see an American athlete being mocked yesterday and his bad day celebrated by people on my political side. Sure, I am not a fan of MAGA and love mocking them every chance I get, but we should rise above that nonsense for the Olympics. I’ve always reviled the politicization of the Games, and always will. All that matters is they are repping our country, for better or for worse. ↩︎
  3. MSNBC’s “excitement” over the new ticket–which they think they are responsible for–doesn’t negate the fact that the Democratic resurgence was not what they were trying to do. They were hoping for a repeat of 1968 (also a Chicago convention) which would leave the party in disarray and the door wide open for a MAGA takeover, for their ratings. Fuck them, now and forever. ↩︎

(I’ve Been) Searching So Long

Sunday morning and I slept late. I’ve been off both days this weekend, not really sure what that’s about…but this morning when I saw the clock and the time, I remembered that either yesterday or Friday, I was confused about taking my daily pills and I may have taken them twice…and a double dose for one day of my daytime anti-anxiety medication definitely would have led to exhaustion. Lesson learned. I am usually a lot more careful about these things, and so I need to better about paying attention.

I was sleepy for most of the day yesterday. I ran errands and came home, and then started working on things again, which was terrific. I had low energy, obviously, but I cleaned out the two remaining file boxes in the living room, thus clearing out the corner where the boxes stood, and which will now be taken up by the vacuum cleaner and the crate of Sparky toys, which opens up the living room still further. I started clearing books out of the laundry room and am on pace to get that shelf emptied and used for pantry items. This overhaul of the downstairs will obviously continue Thursday as I begin my four day weekend. I also managed to finish reading Horror Movie yesterday, which was sublime and wonderful, and started John Copenhaver’s Hall of Mirrors, between breaks so I could rest. I took a lot of those breaks, I might add–and during several of them I started to fall asleep. I did nap for about half an hour in the late afternoon, which is weird–and today I still feel a bit sleepy. All I need to do outside today is go to the gym and make a very quick grocery run, and then I get to come home and hopefully shower and get some writing done. Stranger things have happened, you know.

But the house is a mess and I am working very hard not to chastise myself for the way I left the apartment looking when i went to bed last night, barely able to stagger up the stairs. It won’t take long, really–the majority of the mess in the living room is the donation pile, which simply needs to be stacked properly and loaded into boxes. Likewise the kitchen won’t take long to look orderly again, either. There’s a lot of stuff to be put away for sure in the kitchen, and I’m not done with the laundry room, either–but it’s not a priority and can wait until the holiday weekend if necessary.

Sigh. I’m also very behind on my Pride Posts, which will defiantly continue to run through the Independence Day holiday weekend as I celebrate queer independence, and pray for our gains not to be lost to the current joke of a Supreme Court. I will never forgive anyone involved in “but her emails” or “benghazi” or anything else that smeared and slandered the most qualified candidate for president in decades so we could get fascism instead. Thanks, privileged white liberals for thinking she was corrupt or too shrill or not charismatic enough. And don’t think I won’t keep bringing that up until we’ve survived (if we survive) this election. We lost Roe v. Wade in no small part because that arrogant, narcissistic Hollywood she-bitch sneered on national television that she “don’t vote with (my) vagina.”

I hope to either spit in her skank face or piss on her grave before I die, and thank you again for making any number of films I enjoy unwatchable again because all I think about when I see her face or hear her voice is “we lost our rights because you’re an arrogant bitch who thinks she is a political expert when the truth is you don’t know jackshit and learned NOTHING from the 2000 election when you helped elected Bush.”

There’s a direct line from her performative progressivism to every justice who overturned Roe. I wish someone would bring up Nader to her in an interview. 2016 was a repeat performance of 2000. And for the record, she is not an ally. AOC is, and understands how to get things done and has evolved and learned how to work for progressive causes in Congress. She is an actual hero.

And my inability to write my Pride Post about The Rocky Horror Picture Show is because I don’t want to mention her or use any of her images, which is difficult.

Hurricane Beryl apparently is now a Category 3, with the potential for becoming a 4 once it enters the Caribbean, which is rather early maybe for a storm this size, which doesn’t bode well when we’re kicking off the season and the B storm will come ashore as a 4. It looks like the most likely path means a Yucatan landfall before crossing the Gulf again to come ashore close to the Mexico/Texas border. There are also two other potential storms out there, one in the Gulf (what if Beryl consumes this one? YIKES) and one out in the Atlantic. I guess I need to start looking into hurricane supplies and get the house stocked up again.

Okay, that’s NOT helping, so I think I should head into the spice mines for now. I am going to eat something and start working on this mess while writing another entry. I may also be back later, since one never knows what I will be doing at any given time.

You Make Me Feel Brand New

Sunday morning and Sparky let me sleep super late–I didn’t get up until after nine thirty–which kind of wasted more of the morning than I would prefer. I am going to make groceries today, so one of the things I really need to do is clean out the cabinets and the refrigerator. Yesterday I worked on the book for a while, worked on the filing for a while, and threw out a shit ton more files. I have one more filing cabinet drawer to do today, and should probably work on the book some more today. Yesterday was also very relaxing, and I spent most of the day from when Paul got up until bedtime hanging with him. We watched a series called Citadel from Amazon Prime, which was so twisty–I lost track of all the surprises as I was trying to keep track as the story became more and more complicated and twisted. We binged it all, then moved onto to Dark Heart, a BBC crime show which we are also enjoying. We’ll probably finish that today and perhaps watch a movie as well. For now, though, the plan is to work on files and my desk area before running to the grocery store before coming home to write and clean and so forth.

The excitement never stops.

But again, some of the files I stumbled over yesterday will help with some of my Pride posts, too–essays I’ve clearly been thinking about for a very long time, as there were files to be discovered about some of the subjects I am covering in them. I’ve obviously been pondering these longer entries/essays for quite some time now. So, I’ll need to actually combine those files before writing the essays, and there’s one in particular that I really want to get to before the turn of the month. (I cannot believe it’s nearly July already.) But time goes by like sands in the hourglass…LOL.

I am enjoying my coffee this morning, which is as always delightful. I love when it tastes good–some days it’s just coffee and other days it tastes amazing; I think it has to do with my mood, honestly–but I am also out of coffee cake and Jimmy Dean sandwiches so the only option for breakfast this morning is cold cereal, which is fine. I really do need to make that grocery run today, don’t I? This weekend has been lovely so far, I have to say, and I don’t have to go in tomorrow, which makes it feel more charmed, I have to say.

I was also reminded of projects that fit and start. I also found the secondary file for Hurricane Party Hustle, which reminded me that I’d started writing that Scotty book twice already. I wrote it as a proposal to turn in with Mardi Gras Mambo in August 2005, and then tried to start it again at some time during the aftermath of Katrina. I have yet to find that original, pre-Katrina idea, but part of what I am doing with this current version that I am planning is to use the pre-Katrina idea–it can work now, especially by using Katrina and her aftermath to make the story deeper and more complex, plus it will give me an opportunity to explore how it affected my characters, almost twenty years after the fact. I guess the idea, the smart idea, would be to write it and release in in August 2025, twenty years after Katrina in reality but only fourteen years in the chronology of Scotty’s life. I am also a little worried about revisiting the title and the original story because it’s so tied to Katrina in my mind, which is hubris and more than a little narcissistic. Nothing I do in the grand scheme of things is so important that my sins would bring a hurricane down on the city–and that’s not how anything works, any way.

The living room is starting to look better, and so is the kitchen. I am very pleased with myself this weekend, I have to say. It’s nice to have focus and energy and drive and to be feeling good and relieved about everything again. It’s nice, but it’s also one of those things that throughout my life I was worried about expressing or experiencing, since something bad happening is always inevitable. But now that I am older and properly medicated, I can see that I shouldn’t let the inevitable bad thing weigh on me. I should enjoy the times between bad things, and should appreciate those times all the more, so that’s the positive mindset I am slipping myself back into.

It’s not the bad things in your life that define you, but the key is how you react to them.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines for the day. No worries, I will definitely be back later with a Pride post, but have a lovely Sunday and I’ll be back to entertain you at some point later.

Jump Into the Fire

Work-at-home Friday! Woo-hoo! I have a three day weekend to follow as well; my trip was canceled but I kept the day off. I am hoping for a productive time, but we shall see how it goes. Last night I ran by the post office as I had a delivery sent there by mistake (it was supposed to be sent to the house) and I also had to stop by Office Depot to pick up the supplies I’d ordered. I came home and spent the evening productively! I did a load of laundry, the dishes, and got organized for the book I am writing, and I also started going through old files and chucking many of them that I really don’t need. I also found things that really shouldn’t have been filed away, but a good 70% of two boxes are going into the trash. Some of the ones I am keeping for now will also probably go; in many cases it’s simply.a story idea with a title, and I can just transcribe those into a journal. The goal of decluttering moves onward, and I am quite pleased I got on with this last night–I’ve been meaning to do this since the pandemic hit, and I’ve also become more

I also got my copy of the new Wanda M. Morris novel, What You Leave Behind, which is also an exciting and delightful development. It’s always a cause for rejoicing in the Lost Apartment when the new Morris arrives! Woo-hoo!

Ugh, wordpress is not cooperating this morning so I may not be able to post this as soon as it’s finished, heavy heaving sigh. Why does technology always shoot me in the foot? This is the kind of thing, of course, that used to derail my entire day back before the change in meds, so yay for new meds? It’s also kind of aggravating because the functions aren’t working properly, and while irritating, I refuse to allow this to derail the day. This doesn’t have to be posted this morning, and in a worst case scenario, it’ll be later today. How horrible, right?

I do have some work at home duties to do, and I do need to run some errands later–prescription, groceries–and I also need to do some rehab on the arm today at the gym, but I can put that off until later. I do want to get rid of some more files today. It would be lovely to get that taken care of and those multiple file boxes removed from the living room. I also need to go through my filing cabinet, as I am certain there are even more ancient files in there that no longer need keeping, either, and I can hopefully get almost all of the files combined and compressed into one place. I also want to clean the hell out of the kitchen this weekend, too–including moving furniture as well as cleaning out and organizing the kitchen cabinets and drawers. I’d love to take down boxes from the attic, too, and start getting that cleaned out as well to make room for other storage that can be moved from the apartment up there to help bring the clutter down. I also want to really do something with the beneath the counter cabinets, too.

God, I am so exciting, how can you stand it?

On that note, I am going to get some more coffee and something else to eat. WordPress is still being a bitch, so this will have to go up later. I am also sure some Pride posts will pop out later on today as well. Have a lovely Friday!

Nobody

Sunday morning and I managed to get a lot done yesterday while watching games occasionally. I got bored watching Georgia throttle Florida, laughed about the Kansas win over Oklahoma, watched Tulane almost blow a significant lead and lose to Rice, and got bored with Tennessee-Kentucky so switched over to Elité on Netflix–and this seventh season is simply terrible. We have one more episode in this season and it’s over, and I can’t say I’m sorry to see it go.

But I did get a lot done yesterday. I cleaned. I ran errands,,,and I worked on the filing. Yes, there’s still work to be done, but my workspace no longer looks like I need to. just take a flamethrower to it, and even the laundry room is beginning to look like it’s more together than it should be. I do have to do some refiling, but everything is properly sorted and where it needs to be, if not alphabetized properly. I also discovered a lot of duplicate files–I am sure there are even more to be found, once the filing truly starts getting compiled and sorted properly. I also need for some of these files to just go away; I am never going to get to all of these ideas and I am never going to write all these stories and novels or essays and nonfiction books, either. But which ones to keep, which ones to abandon for good? I’ve been saving ideas and files and stories and scenes and characters for well over forty years now; you can only imagine how much I’ve forgotten about that are buried deep within this insane file-hoarding situation; it’s almost as bad as my book situation.

But getting all this clutter and debris sorted and put into a semblance of order also helped me get focused more–I think perhaps that’s been part of the problem with focusing on writing anything, really; knowing how out of control the filing had gotten and not knowing where anything was, or what I was working on could be found, and so forth. I’m going to try to get back to work on my next book today–after I get some more of these blog entry drafts completed and posted–and I am also going to try to work on the files some more. I decided that I am not, after all, going to be able to get my story “The Blues Before Dawn” finished in time to submit to the Bouchercon anthology, so it’ll go back into the files for now for a while. I never could quite get the story write, but that opening–my main character walking home in the misty morning hours of the Quarter while listening to someone playing the blues on a saxophone on a balcony, hidden away in the fog. I love that image, and I know that my main character is an apprentice waiter at Galatoire’s and sometimes turns tricks for money at Ma Butler’s bordello in Storyville; I also know it’s a Sherlock Holmes story from the perspective of someone who has a crush on Mr. Holmes–and now has to depend on Sherlock to save him from wrongly being accused of murder. The rest? Not so much…and it’s due on Tuesday, so that’s not going to happen. A pity, yes, but a Sherlock story from the perspective of a sometime male harlot was a long shot for the Bouchercon anthology anyway.

I did start reading The Lonely Ghost by Mike Ford, which is quite delightful, along with a reread of Ammie Come Home by Barbara Michaels (also one of my favorite books of all time, and definitely one of the greatest ghost stories of all time) when I had a few down moments to spend (I’ll get back to The Lonely Ghost later on this morning), and I also have to make a cheesecake this morning and get the white bean chicken chili started so it’ll be ready for tonight and the rest of the week, of course. Halloween is going to be one of those frantic unsettling days, but that’s okay; I can make it through it all.

I slept really well last night, which was lovely; my sleep lately has been pretty marvelous, honestly. Relaxing in the evenings last week, letting the anxiety not get to me, and getting good night’s sleeps this past week was really kind of lovely and nice. I also slept late this morning, opting to stay in bed later than I usually do because it frankly felt nice, you know? Today I am also planning some self-care and grooming, which will be nice. Maybe even take a walk later in the day, when it starts cooling down? Although without the humidity yesterday’s low eighties felt marvelously and delightfully cool.

And on that note, the spice ain’t gonna mine itself, so off I go. Have a marvelous Sunday, Constant Reader, and I’ll check in with you again.

Paper Rosie

Wednesday morning and back up at an ungodly hour to make it back to work. But I was also kind of tired of lolling around the apartment on pain meds, doing very little to nothing, including not much thinking. It’s nice sometimes to not have to think, but I always worry that not using my mind is making it lazy, if that makes sense? Probably not, but I know what I meant. I always worry that my brain will atrophy if I don’t use it. Well, that made more sense. See what I mean? You see why I am concerned?

I didn’t sleep well last night–not bad, just not great. I’ve gotten used to ten to twelve hours of sleep per night since the surgery, so I wasn’t sure how getting up this morning would go. Not bad, to be honest; I don’t think I had a good night of sleep because of anxiety about not waking up, but I feel okay so far. I’m just so tired of soft food. Today I’ll be taking baby food with me to the office, and I am not really looking forward to that, in all honesty. I think I’ll take ice cream for lunch–I will miss eating ice cream every day when my mouth finally heals, but I am so ready for solid food you have no idea. I am so going to Five Guys when this is all over!

I didn’t get much accomplished yesterday. The pain pills don’t make me loopy the way the ones they used to prescribe (the highly addictive oxy family of opiates), but they do something to the wiring in my brain that doesn’t quite make sense to me. I did get a load of laundry done, another load of dishes, and I filed and straightened up the workspace–which looks a lot more bearable this morning than it did yesterday morning–but I didn’t get as much accomplished as I would have liked because my mind was spacy and I kept losing track of time. Paul got home late last night and we watched another episode of Painkiller, which is such evidence of how broken our entire system is (I still get angry at the Sacklers just thinking about it) that I don’t know how anyone could watch it and not fall into despair.

I did find myself–I blame the pain meds–falling into a pit of anxiety yesterday afternoon, spiraling and everything, but once I realized what was happening I thought use this nervous energy and that’s when I started cleaning. I put the kitchen rugs in order and swept, put away dishes and started filing and organizing. My computer files are a disaster that will take days, if not weeks, to sort out; I did make some attempt at it yesterday to no avail. I also went into another research wormhole about the Filipino community of southeastern Louisiana–I love that there’s always something new and startling to learn about this region–and I really would like to write about Manila Village, or St. Malô; it was known by both names. It could be another Sherlock story, I think, since I so strongly established him in 1916 New Orleans; Manila Village/St. Malô was destroyed in the hurricane of 1915 (which also wiped Freniere off the map, and I want to write about Freniere as well; the witch’s curse and all)–a lot was going on in the New Orleans era during the twentieth century teens decade (there was also an outbreak of bubonic plague and the last really bad yellow fever epidemic during that decade, and then of course there’s the banana wars, which is also endlessly interesting) and of course, I would love to write about it all.

I want to write about everything.

It’s also Pay-the-Bills day; time slipped past me while I was recovering from this oral surgery mess–and of course Friday is my appointment with the Tulane Institute of Sports Medicine about my arm (I’ll talk more about that later)–and I do think that I am going to need to work on the filing system this weekend. The LSU-Mississippi State game is at the ungodly hour of eleven a.m., so I can probably get some work on the filing done during that. I have duplicate files and the problem–the primary problem–is I allowed the files to get out of control during the pandemic and the system I’d been using completely broke down. The file cabinet itself has been a mess for years, and what I really need to do is decide on a new system or figure out if the old one can still be used, despite how much work it’s going to take. I also need to take stock and figure out what needs to be worked on and what needs to be done, and where I am at with everything. I don’t have any contracts currently in place (which is usually a very scary place for me to be, frankly, but I am not letting the anxiety about that make me do what it usually does; throw out a bunch of proposals only to end up with too many deadlines and more stress than any writer needs.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Here’s hoping my energy doesn’t flag and I make it through the day safely. I hope you also have a lovely day, Constant Reader, and I’ll check in with you again probably tomorrow.

Some Things You Never Get Used To

I had intended to get up early and take the car in–oil change and tire repair–but of course I overslept and now it’s too late–I would be at the dealership all day and that’s simply not an option for me today. Sure, it can be put off easily for another week–I just need to re-air the tire at some point this weekend and it should be fine–but it’s annoying because I really wanted to get it over and done with this morning. Instead, I’ll do chores around here until it’s time for my work-at-home duties. At some point tomorrow I’ll need to run to make groceries–which is fine, I’ll need to get the mail tomorrow and I can drop off a box of books at the library sale while I am out and about; and I can also make a grocery list as well as take some time to select some more books to dispose of as well. It’ll be fine, ultimately; I just don’t like when my plans get disrupted by oversleeping and having to recalibrate as a result. I’ll live, really–am just a trifle annoyed, and ultimately, truth be told I must have needed the sleep, right?

I did work pretty hard this week–the last two weeks, really–and I still have things to get done, of course. But the pressure isn’t quite as extreme as it was before, and I just have a lot of tedious housekeeping to do on one project that needs to be finished by the end of the month–and time, as always, is slipping through my fingers the way it always seems to do. But that’s okay; since I cannot get the things done that I had scheduled for this morning I’ll utilize the time productively around here at the Lost Apartment. I think this weekend I am going to begin the “tossing of paper” project in order to clear out the filing cabinets so the filing can start getting under control (a long term goal of the year); every little bit helps, of course, and gets me closer to the end goal of getting rid of significant amounts of clutter.

At least, that’s the theory, at any rate. (I just looked into a file cabinet drawer and wondered if all those files could, in fact, be as easily tossed as I’d like to think; I suspect that won’t be the case because my default instinct to hoard paper will kick into gear–but this file was created over thirty years ago–I am going to have to be absolutely heartless while I do this, I am aware.)

Everything sounds good in theory, right?

But it’s weird to not have a writing deadline looming over my head–oh, there are still some out there, of course, I’m never completely free from deadline-stress–but there’s plenty of time left before any of them become critical and stressful. (I am very happy that I made that to-do list this week, Constant Reader! It’s amazing what a difference such a little thing can make in one’s life and productivity; but as I have always said, getting and staying organized is my goal for this year and every little bit helps.) Another goal is not to wait till the last minute on short story deadlines, to relieve stressors (the over-arching goal of the year is to relieve my own stress levels so I can make it to retirement in five years) so that my psoriasis doesn’t keep making a return (love seeing a patch of crusty, scaly red skin appear somewhere on my body with a smirk and saying I’m baaaaaaaaaack, bitch) and so that the insomnia remains at bay. This week has seen an amazing string of deep restful sleeps for me every night, which has been absolutely lovely, as Constant Reader can probably imagine. I also think my body clock is starting to adjust to getting up early so many days of the week (this morning’s oversleep being an exception to that rule) and I’ve also kind of decided that I should just go ahead and get up when my body wakes me up from a deep sleep rather than lazing in the bed for another couple of hours (I still can’t get over the oversleep this morning), but so far on my work-at-home days and days off that hasn’t really happened…I just manage to stay in the warm comfort of the bed and fall back asleep with the greatest of ease.

But I am hoping to change that and add more hours of productivity to my days. I’ll keep you posted on how that turns out.

I also intend to return to the gym (!!!!) this weekend; there will be updates of this momentous occasion to come, of course.

And on that note, time to clean out some files, do some filing and organizing and cleaning; my work at home duties do not officially begin until noon. Talk to you tomorrow, Constant Reader, but for now–it’s off to the spice mines with me.

Love Is Like an Itching in My Heart

Saturday!

I slept very well last night. I got my day job work done during the day, I got two more chapters revised and edited last night, and Paul and I watched the latest episode of Servant last night (which is very bizarre and we are no longer sure we are following it, but it’s well produced and well acted, so it’s always interesting to watch), and then I watched a short National Geographic documentary about the Renaissance Popes (an episode from their series Pope), which was interesting–but it didn’t cover much more ground than Barbara Tuchman covered in her section on them in March of Folly.

Today dawns bright and sunny with a gorgeous, cloudless pigeon’s egg sky out there. I have some emails I have to do this morning, and I have to run some errands (prescriptions, mail) this morning (I am saving groceries for tomorrow). I also have to buy a new all-in-one printer as my latest one lost wifi capabilities yesterday for some reason, ergo rendering it utterly useless for my needs (just as well, I had just run out of ink and needed to buy more; money saved by the death of the printer) so when I go run my errands, the last thing I will do is swing by Office Depot on St. Charles to purchase a new one. I think they have a decent one at a reasonable price in stock; if they don’t, I’ll have to check either Best Buy or Target, neither of which is an option I particularly want to indulge myself in at the moment. Although a trip to the West Bank would also mean I could get lunch at Sonic, so…decisions, decisions. (Paul and I were, in fact, just last night talking about how we don’t really eat fast food at all anymore–he stopped at McDonalds on his way home from getting his hair cut in the Quarter yesterday) I’ve gained back some of the weight I lost last year, alas; not sure how that happened, precisely, but have no doubt that there’s a connection to me not going to the gym in months, for sure. Once this book is done….or at least under more control, at any rate…maybe on Monday afternoon when I am finished with my work-at-home duties. I am hoping to get three chapters of the book done today, which means I have to write/revise and polish the final two chapters over the next few days as well as go through and polish and tweak (hence the need for a printer) before finally turning it in and diving into the Bouchercon anthology work, which needs to be concluded by the end of February. I also have a short story due in early February–and next weekend I am going to Alabama for the Murder in the Magic City/Murder on the Menu weekend in Birmingham and Wetumpka. (Note to self: get an audiobook for the drive.)

So much to do, so little time, so little opportunity for procrastination, laziness and pushing things off until tomorrow, right?

Heavy heaving sigh.

But there’s also cleaning to do around here, filing as always, and some book organization is also needed. I am not feeling particularly overwhelmed in any sense this morning, which is always a really good thing, and I feel confident that I can get everything finished that I need to get finished as well as get a jump on future things that need to get finished. I am really looking forward to spending some time every week getting rid of paper files, too–you have no idea how much I am looking forward to that; realistically, there’s no reason for me to keep paper files on anything unless it’s something I am currently working on; otherwise it can remain electronic; and realistically, I can donate a back-up hard drive to an archive mush easier than I can sort and organized paper files…and if they don’t want that, well, then that’s the end of that, you know.

And I still will have gotten rid of all the fucking paper files.

So, win-win?

And on that note tis time for me to head into the spice mines. Have a lovely day, Constant Reader!

Put Yourself in My Place

Thursday morning and I am groggy. I was afraid that would be the case this morning–I probably should have gone to bed an hour earlier (nine instead of ten…I feel so old) but Paul was late getting home anyway so I was waiting for him, and he got home just before ten. I think I slept fairly well, despite waking up again at four-ish and then drifting in and out of a half-sleep for the next two hours, finally getting into a deep sleep right around the time the alarm went off, naturally. (I had a very good sleep score last night, according to my Fitbit, so I’ll just accept that and be done with it.)

I got another chapter of the book done last night–so am still behind and trying to get caught up. Two chapters a day was an ambitious thought for work nights, but if I can get at least one done today the weekend will have to make up for it. I was hoping to not have to kill myself at the computer writing this weekend, but alas and alack, here we are. The book is being reshaped nicely, and my emails are getting answered–slowly but surely–but they are getting answered. I still haven’t had the time to make a to-do list (desperately needed) but am going to see if I can make that a priority this morning. I also am leaving work early today so I can keep a doctor’s appointment this afternoon, so I will get home a bit earlier than usual–which will help with the writing of two chapters, of course–and I am hopeful Paul will get home at a decent hour so we can spend a little time together before bed. Tomorrow I work at home, and next week I start having Mondays as a new at-home day (this was the only week with four days in the office), which will be kind of nice if odd. Adjusting to change gets harder and harder the older I get.

But the sun is coming up and it doesn’t look terribly cloudy out there this morning. Yesterday was a lovely, if chilly, day; today will also be chilly. It’s so weird; having a heating system that works properly hasn’t been easy to adjust to. It’s weird not having to wear slippers because the floor’s so cold, or having to wear layers, or having to get under a blanket in my easy chair to watch television comfortably. (I have wondered if the sleep issues of this week have to do with it not being freezing upstairs at night now. But it’s better that the cold doesn’t make me resent getting up every morning, so there’s that.)

But the coffee is kicking in, although I still feel a bit off this week; I am not sure what that’s all about, quite frankly. It’s very weird that the Australian Open is almost over and we’ve not watched a single match; maybe that’s why this week has seemed off? Paul hasn’t even mentioned it once, and usually every night we have matches playing on the television while I watch and play with my iPad–commercials are always lovely times to doom-scroll on Twitter or check in on Facebook or Instagram. There’s still a stack of things on my kitchen counter that needs to be sorted and filed away; I am actually thinking now in terms of simply throwing almost all my paper files away to clear room for stuff I actually need to keep. Maybe this will be a good project for after the book is finished, one Saturday? Empty the filing cabinets and the file boxes? There obviously are things I would need to keep–contracts, for one–but partial story print outs or early drafts are unnecessary to keep because I rarely go back and look at them; I usually look for the file on my computer anyway when I think about finishing something I’ve already started–mostly because my filing system is such a fucking mess. I can also scan copies of articles I’ve written, important things I want to keep but don’t necessarily need a hard copy of, and so forth.

I actually like the sound of this, and then maybe I can find an archive willing to take on my manuscripts and so forth. The older I get the less I care about future scholarship on queer writing and preserving my history–the books will live on forever in ebook editions anyway, and when I retire or die within a few years I’ll be forgotten, and I am actually fine with that. I don’t even know that anyone would ever be interested in actually studying me or not; I know that I am one of the few queer writers who wrote about New Orleans gay life before and after Katrina, but again–the books will always be available electronically, and God knows this blog will probably be accessible for all eternity as well. Soooo…,making a decision about that goes onto the year’s goals list.

But I can definitely start cleaning out the file boxes and the file cabinets. I can keep research in the file cabinet, as well as contracts and tax returns and important business stuff. There may not be enough to fill a single drawer, but that’s not an issue. The more I talk this through the more I like the idea.

Hmmm.

And on that note, I am heading into the spice mines. Have a lovely Thursday, Constant Reader!

The Right Stuff

And Monday has rolled around again in this rollercoaster we call life; the question is whether this week will be a slow climb, or the rapid and insane downhill race leading into a loop-de-loop or a circular spin, both at ridiculous speeds.

The good news is that it was definitely a lovely weekend here at the Lost Apartment. I went to the gym yesterday and had a great workout and I worked on Chlorine. Not a lot, mind you–some revisions and corrections to the first chapter, before getting started on the second; i got about 1200 words down on it–but enough for me to be happy about it, you know? While allowing my creativity ADHD to have full run over my brain throughout most of June and July thus far was a good idea–man, I produced a lot of work–I worried a bit seeing how much was now in progress. I posted a picture of all the works currently in progress, gathered and separated by binder clips, only to realize those five WIP’s weren’t in fact, all of them; I was missing at least four more and possibly five, bringing the grand total to ten.

And even I can admit readily that ten WIP’s is too fucking much for anyone to sanely work on at the same time.

And that’s not even taking into consideration the short stories, of which there are many–and that particular list continues to grow and grow and grow and grow (although I did realize that “Vivit Dominus” is actually the perfect start for a story already in progress called “Gossip,” which is probably the right title for the story). I mean, I just started another one called “Wash Away Sins” over the course of the weekend, and had the for another essay at some point this weekend as well…because, of course, there are never too many things I can be writing on at the same time.

This, of course, is partly why I am never completely mentally stable.

Being so scattered creatively can often be a problem, and often is–which is why I try not to give my creativity free rein and control over what I am doing most of the time. I am very fortunate in that most of the time I can reign it in and keep it under control–pushing aside pesky new thoughts regularly, or taking a brief break to scribble something down in a journal–and now I am wondering if Spelllcaster needs to be expanded into a novel or not….it’s nearly 40k already; and yes, adding another 20-35 k might not be all that hard to do (as I mentioned yesterday, I do have an idea about how to continue the story, rather than simply padding out what I already have in place) but when, precisely, am I going to do this? This is the real problem with trying to reel it all in now–there are already so many things in progress that trying to schedule finishing them all becomes problematic, especially now that I am able to zero in on Chlorine.

Heavy heaving sigh.

But I do feel well rested this morning, and almost like I might be able to get things done and get back on track–the brief bit of organizing I did over the weekend (of the writing stuff, along with the filing) certainly helped tremendously’; now I need to get the filing a bit more under control. (I have four file boxes shoved under my desk, which is claustrophobic; they need to go elsewhere but I am not really sure where to put them in the meantime; if I put them in the attic they’re gone forever–let’s be honest–but I suppose I could put them on top of the kitchen cabinets–so accessible if not easily accessible.) But alphabetizing and cleaning out files I no longer need to have around isn’t a bad idea, and might help clear things out. (I also need to clean out the attic and donate a shit ton more books, don’t I? And maybe the Christmas stuff which we never use? I don’t know about that. Scooter isn’t going to live forever, and maybe our next cat won’t try to topple the tree all the time)

I also need to carve out some time this week to read Razorblade Tears, which I am enjoying.

And on that note, the spice mines are calling and I must follow their siren song. Have a lovely Monday, Constant Reader.