Eternal Flame

Well, feeling well-rested lasted exactly one day. I had a twelve hour workday, ending with bar testing last night, and this morning I am very tired. I’d hoped to get up early and go to the grocery store, but turned the alarm off when it went off this morning and went back to sleep. I would still be asleep had I not made myself get up a little while ago. There’s still a shot at making the grocery run before heading into the office, but I seriously doubt that is going to happen. All I want to do is sit here and swill coffee until it’s time to get ready for work. Ah, well, at least there’s just today and tomorrow before it’s the weekend again.

But it was lovely not being tired yesterday while I was working the twelve hour day.

So, today’s chore, during down time, is to make a list of agents I want to approach with the work-in-progress, start drafting the query letter, and maybe finish a draft of one of the short stories I am currently working on. I am leaning more towards “For All Tomorrow’s Lies” because it is the most recent that I’ve started, plus it’s deliciously creepy in spirit–and lately, deliciously creepy is the direction I’ve going with my short stories lately. I am going to let the manuscript sit until this weekend–I may even let it go longer than that, as letting it sit for a while has proven to be the way to go for me with it; it gets me a proper distance so I can make decisions about revisions and changes to be made to improve it. This last time going through is more about cleaning up language, cutting out extra stuff that isn’t really needed, and tightening it up. I’m still not entirely sure that the necessary changes I made in the last draft were enough; I’m still not entirely satisfied with the way the book ends, and I think I need to take some time away for it to gestate a bit. (I am never happy with the way I end books; I always feel like when I get to the end I am always thinking to myself, just end this already and be done with it, so I am always afraid the endings are rushed.)

I was also thinking last night about how many bad writing habits I’ve developed over the years, and this WIP was all about breaking those habits. It’s been, frankly, absolutely lovely writing it without the stress and terror of a deadline that had to be met hanging over my head, being able to take the time to try to make it as good as it can be rather than rushing and hoping it’s good enough in the end, being able to take the time to sit and wonder, “what if I change this, what will that do?” and exploring options with character and choices and plot decisions and dialogue and so on. I am also trying to build up my own self-confidence; pushing aside the doubting thoughts that creep in that it’s not any good or I’m wasting my time or my entire writing career has been a fraud.

Heavy heaving sigh.

All right, I am going to get cleaned up and get this day started.

Here’s a Throwback Thursday hunk for you–Marc Singer, the Beastmaster:

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