Everyday People

I am sore this morning, but it’s the good sore–the one where you’re aware that you worked out but not so much that moving is a challenge. Tonight I am going to go see Colson Whitehead speak, which is going to be amazing. I also realized yesterday that TWFest and Saints & Sinners are literally in two weeks. GAH. Where did this year go?

I am really looking forward to this weekend, I must say. I am hoping to get to the gym on Saturday to do some cardio and maybe even some light weights. The St. Patrick’s Day parade is Saturday, which means all of Uptown will be pretty much a traffic snarl for most of the day, so running errands is completely out of the question–I will have to do that on Sunday (hello, Costco!) so Saturday will be a ‘clean the house/go to the gym/write’ day.

Oh, and SLEEP IN.

I also need to make a to-do list. I’ve kind of been floating through this week in a daze; I’ve done some reading and a very little bit of writing, and of course I’ve paid the bills and done all the adulting stuff one always has to do no matter how badly you don’t want to. I also just noticed that this weekend is when we lose the hour for Daylight Savings, which means I am going to be out of it next week too. Sigh. Hurray.

Heavy heaving sigh.

I also have to go shopping to buy some pants and maybe a new dress shirt for the Williams Fest. I have these amazing, snazzy shoes I never get to wear because of course everything formal or dressy I own is black and red (black pants, red shirts) and so I need something tan and pale blue to go with my cool shoes. I am going to go to the outlet mall at Riverwalk Mall and see what they have. I also need to get some every day wear and workout shoes. Sigh. It never seems to end.

And on that dull, boring note I am going to get back to the spice mines.

Here’s a shot of Michael Fassbender for you.

Honky Tonk Women

I made a little progress on the book yesterday; only another couple of hundred words or so, but progress is progress. I also started reading Colson Whitehead’s The Underground Railroad yesterday (I am going to see him speak tomorrow night); the book is extraordinary, and I have a lot of thoughts about it already–despite only being half-finished. I may have to wait a few days after I finish reading it before I write about it, because it’s something I am going to have to mull over and think about; not a blog entry I’ll be able to just dash off the top of my head while I drink my morning coffee and try to wake up.

I did make it to the gym this morning for the first time in weeks (stupid Carnival) and I am very tired. I always feel better after I work out–until the endorphins wear off, anyway–and I really need to get back into a regular routine; I also need to start eating better and in a more healthy way. I realized during Carnival–as my feet, back, legs, knees, ankles, and hips all ached–that I DO need to get into better physical condition, and the longer I wait to get started on that the harder it will be and the worse things will get. My schedule is crazy, of course, but I do need to make time for self-care and doing things for me. I also realized, with a stunning shock of self-awareness, that I used to always think that I worked out and ate healthy in order to be healthy; looking better physically was just a lovely side-effect.

Obviously, the fact that I can’t motivate myself to get to the gym regularly on my own and eat right proves that I was deluding myself all those years; and without the motivation of wanting to look good when I went out and to look good for Carnival and Halloween and Southern Decadence, as well as no longer doing the wrestling–in other words, as soon as it was no longer important for me to look good the motivation to go to the gym vanished.

It’s a bit sobering to realize you were deluding yourself for a really long time, but I prefer being honest with myself, and it’s better to figure these things out sooner rather than later–although I will say this was pretty late to figure this out!

So, this weekend I am going to commit to getting to the gym at least twice more a week. I’ve already started eating better–or trying to, at any rate–and while I don’t think I’ll ever get down to the lean 180 pounds I was ten or eleven years ago…I can probably lose twenty pounds.

Here’s a shot of me eleven years ago.